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: Favorite/Funniest Zoidberg quotes  (Read 86875 times)
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starone

Starship Captain
****
« : 08-26-2003 12:07 »

I kinda took this idea from Devil's Hands but what are your favorite Zoidberg quotes?

"You don't want to end up old and lonely like ZOIDBERG (cries) you were saying.
Monty Carlo

Crustacean
*
« #1 : 08-26-2003 12:12 »

"I finally learned what it's like to be a grandmother; subjugated, yet honored."

"I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness..."
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« #2 : 08-26-2003 12:29 »
« : 08-26-2003 12:29 »

Todays Comedians Could Learn From This Guy (Zoidberg quote thread)

Zoidberg: "Your music is bad, and you should feel bad!"
AnarchyBoy

Delivery Boy
**
« #3 : 08-26-2003 16:00 »

I think his funniest moment is when he's going to the picnic with Fry and Amy, "Bird eggs! Animal slices! Dry woven reeds!"
Also funny is the scene at the pet show:
Professor: First prize is five hundred dollars and a year's supply of dogfood!
Bender: Five hundred dollars, you say?
Zoidberg: Dog food, you say?
Pitt Clemens

Urban Legend
***
« #4 : 08-26-2003 16:25 »
« : 08-26-2003 16:25 »

In my experience boxes are usually empty, except for sometimes a little cheeze stuck to the top, and that one time Peppironi.   What a day that was.  (Hideous howl) GIVE ME THE BOX!
Futurama_Hil

Urban Legend
***
« #5 : 08-26-2003 16:49 »

some good ones;
"yippe ki yay! You'll never guess where I have been!"

"Ooh, he new issue is out!" (you need to see the scene)
starone

Starship Captain
****
« #6 : 08-27-2003 11:49 »

(sigh) I been trying to post new threds that don't already exist for 647 years.
Jamesbondcja

Professor
*
« #7 : 08-27-2003 15:51 »

The president is gasping on my gas bladder what an honor!

My slinky my lovely cuddely pet slinky!

Its just like eating dry marshmallows!

Erm I will post more soon, there are two damn many!
Chriswell

Bending Unit
***
« #8 : 08-28-2003 02:16 »

"It's toe-tappingly tragic."

-cs™
Lionel Hutz Esq

Bending Unit
***
« #9 : 08-28-2003 04:03 »

You still have your old friend zoidberg.  You all have Zodiberg!!!!
duckarse

Delivery Boy
**
« #10 : 08-28-2003 06:31 »

dont know why but its funny.....

"what you guys up to tonight. Im up for whatever"

also....

zoid: "im going to cut you here (points to throat) in the gonads"
fry: "nobody correct him"
ashava

Poppler
*
« #11 : 08-28-2003 07:24 »

"I have mail order degrees in murder-ology and murder-ometry. Zoidberg is a-foot!
Blue Zoidberg

Crustacean
*
« #12 : 08-28-2003 12:09 »

From the game:
Leela: Zoidberg what are you doing here?
Zoidberg: I'm making a cameo!

Zoidberg: Judging by it's scales and long tongue, i'd say it's a horse.

Bobby King

Liquid Emperor
**
« #13 : 08-28-2003 12:16 »

Zoidberg: Zoidberg pulls the lever

futurama the game
Metallica

Bending Unit
***
« #14 : 08-28-2003 14:16 »

"a guinea pig"     lol    funny but stupid
kelso

Crustacean
*
« #15 : 08-28-2003 17:21 »

I'm not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but if you consider his age, he's likely to die soon.

Robit.
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #16 : 08-28-2003 21:22 »

"Friends, a guinea pig tricked me!"
Jamesbondcja

Professor
*
« #17 : 08-29-2003 04:48 »

Zoidberg AWAY!
Heavenly Stench

Crustacean
*
« #18 : 08-29-2003 06:57 »

"A buffet.... oh if only i'd brought my wallet with me..."

"You still have your old pal Zoidberg. YOU ALL HAVE ZOIDBERG"

"who's the tough guy now Vinny?"

too many zoid quotes to put
Rocketboy

Bending Unit
***
« #19 : 09-01-2003 11:35 »

"Ain't Got no cash, Ain't got no style, Ladies vomit when I smile, but does Zoidberg worry?"   :laff:
Slashco

Bending Unit
***
« #20 : 09-02-2003 14:06 »

"Gracias."
bob newhart

Delivery Boy
**
« #21 : 09-02-2003 15:11 »

hermes-he'll be as flexible as gumby and as strong as hurcules

zoidberg-gumbercules? i love that guy!
SumOfTwoCubes

Crustacean
*
« #22 : 09-02-2003 16:57 »

"I am Zoidberg, home owner!"
 from "The Deep South"

"I'm so into you...."
also from "The Deep South"

"I watch T.V. with that guy!"
from "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings"
JRay

Delivery Boy
**
« #23 : 09-02-2003 22:26 »

(Zoidberg coughs up blue balls)
Amy: Dr. Zoidberg, those are beautiful!
Zoid: Ewwww, youre touching them!


Zoid: I've been making fine jewlry for years, apparently.
SuperFry

Starship Captain
****
« #24 : 09-03-2003 05:43 »

some of his best quotes were in the deep south

"look at me everyone im a homeowner"

"oooohhhhh i cant resist you"

"these night crawlers though juicy mmm very very juicy would not be good"
Ozor Mox

Starship Captain
****
« #25 : 09-03-2003 07:48 »
« : 09-03-2003 07:48 »

From Bend Her (indeed it was Vamsi!  :rolleyes: )

Bender: My life long dreams died before they existed.
Zoidberg: Welcome to my life! *Cries*

Probably not 100% accurate!
Vamsi

Bending Unit
***
« #26 : 09-03-2003 10:49 »

Wasn't that from Bend-Her?
can´t_read

Delivery Boy
**
« #27 : 01-23-2004 13:46 »

Can't remember exact words, but when he orders multiple copies of Fry's holophoner CD from the television when Fry is sitting right next to him.
Mr.Nintendo

Bending Unit
***
« #28 : 01-23-2004 14:32 »

The one where he returns to his home-planet: the bit about the "speech impediment" near the start.
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« #29 : 01-23-2004 14:58 »

"Hey!  Ringo!  That was the joke!"
Bushmeister

Professor
*
« #30 : 01-23-2004 17:52 »
« : 01-23-2004 17:52 »

"Now Zoidberg is the popular one!"
M0le

Space Pope
****
« #31 : 01-23-2004 19:34 »

Zoidberg: Ladies and germs.
(drum roll)
Zoidberg: That wasn't a joke, I was talking about Dean Streplikakas.
(strange noises)
Zoidberg: Now I'm not saying the Professer is old, but when you consider his age, he's likely to die soon. (smiles) Hey Ringo, that was the joke!

Zoidberg: Alright anteater #1, who are you protecting?
Anteater #1: *slurping noise
Zoidberg: What? How do you spell that?
Hermes: What's that you're hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!
Zoidberg: (massages temples) Hermes, quiet, I'm deducing things!
  :)
feralHuman

Bending Unit
***
« #32 : 01-23-2004 20:31 »

Zoidberg, on mutants: THEY'RE HIDEOUS!!! Ahhhhrrr!
zapperdan

Bending Unit
***
« #33 : 01-24-2004 06:06 »

for me, zoidberg's funniest line was in 30% iron chef:

"(gasp!) i'm acting astonished!" the delivery of that line leaves me doubled up every time.
keiji

Crustacean
*
« #34 : 01-29-2004 11:30 »

I can's remeber Zopidberg's line but it was about the thing when Fry became famous in playing this instrument and someone is selling his 2 c.d.'s for a price of $19.99 and he said that he was lucky and started ordering it on the phone I mean that scene is really funny
Jamesbondcja

Professor
*
« #35 : 01-29-2004 13:43 »

And they couldn't have been happier if it was valentines day, it was? Hooray!!  :D
Dr. Morberg

Professor
*
« #36 : 01-29-2004 14:04 »

Professor: "For you see, I am dying. Cough, then fall over dead."
Zoidberg: "My God, he's dead!"
*professor checks pulse*
blazin_zoidberg

Crustacean
*
« #37 : 02-11-2004 00:16 »

"gumbercules? i love that guy"
Space Wasp

Delivery Boy
**
« #38 : 02-12-2004 14:43 »

"Who's intimidating who now, world?!"

"And why did I have to take a cab?"
Yinger36

Starship Captain
****
« #39 : 02-12-2004 15:02 »

From TDHAIP
"Two for $14.99!..ohhh Zoidberg, your finally becomming a crafty consumer...[calls phone number to order CDs]...hello...I'll take 8!"

Zoidberg: "Be careful with that Adelai Leela, he's a doctor, they're very poor."
Leela: "Acctully most doctors are rich."
Zoidberg: "WHAT!  When did this happen?  You're joking, right?!  Thats Not Funny!!"

Fry: "I did something so great that it won Leela's heart, and I'll never, ever know what it was. My life is empty" *sniff*
Zoidberg: "Zoooidbeeerg…"

"Vroom. Vroom. And the winner of the big car race is: Hot rod Zoidberg!"
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