How would you kill Cubert Farnsworth?

[Reply #440 on:]

PLace a reverse bear trap on his head and then watch his head get ripped wide open!

TOTPD,           MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Reply #441 on:]

Rip off his head and put it in a dark,dark box in a dark,dark cellar in a dark,dark house on a dark,dark street in a dark,dark town...

[Reply #442 on:]

Or a baseball bat

[Reply #443 on:]

 

Originally posted by Bigboysdontcry:
Or a baseball bat

I would rather use a crowbar.I always wanted to kill someone with a crowbar. 

[Reply #444 on:]

I prefer the claw hammer! Smash and grind and destroy!

[Reply #445 on:]

The crowbar is the first ever weapon Gordon Freeman had.And emagine killing someone you hate with one.(for a Half Life nerd,that's cool)

[Reply #446 on:]

I would kill him slowly and painfully by digging his heart out with a spoon. First I would tear away his skin using a cheese-grater, then I'd cut out his heart with a spoon and show it to him just before he died. Then I would throw his body in magma, I would burn half his heart and feed the other half to my killer rabbit. Slowly.

[Reply #447 on:]

Burn him slowly, douse him in a fire resistant fluid and surriound him with wood, light the wood and watch as he gets surrounded by fire that dances slowly closer towards him, and he'll scream as the heat becomes unbearable.

[Reply #448 on:]

Oh,my God,none of mine can compete with that!But I guess,I should try.OK,here goes:
I would use a tea-cup to dig out his stomach and pore ancient wine where the stomach was.Then I would force-feed him Bender's cooking and when it gets  to the place where the stomach was, I would get it out off there and feed it to Cubert again.I would do that about a hour and with every time, with more of his own blood and juices.Then I would break all his boans with a crowbar and use the gravity gun to rip out his organs.Then I would cut off his head and put it in a jar and activate a devise that would electrocute him every second.And then I will live happily ever after knowing that the brat will be  tortured for ions to come.And one day,giant insectoids such as the antlions will find the cave where I hid Cubert's head-in-a-jar.

[Reply #449 on:]

I'd put some timealtering stuff on his DNA so he can suffer a fate worse than death... PRELIFE! Then death.

[Reply #450 on:]

I would...IGNORE HIM!Mwahaha!

[Reply #451 on:]

 

Originally posted by Writer unit32:
Slide a umbrella down his throat and then open it.

We would Mary Poppins him. MWHAHAHAHA! 

Or we could just shove a microwave done his throat and turn it on.

[Reply #452 on:]

We could put him in the owen.

[Reply #453 on:]

And then eat him!

[Reply #454 on:]

Hmm, what else? I would strap him to a chair and use an eraser to rub him out! Eventually it would rip through his skin, and if I carried on for long enough he would DIE! MWAHAHAHAHA!

[Reply #455 on:]

We could use headcrabs against him as biological weapons.
Or put him in the middle of Ravenholm or Road17.
Or set some zombified Combine soldiers(Zombines,as Alyx calls them) on him.

Brings back such memories!Me and father Gregori had so much fun killing zombies in Ravenholm...And Alyx was the best zombie killer in all the HalfLife games...And the world needs more Barney.I wonder what happened to the guys in  'New Little Odessa'...And The G-man's awesome!"Oh is it really that time again?...".Always so official!When he dissapeared out off total darkness leaving Gordon in that stasis and did it by opening a door and walking out through it,it cracked me up!Well,I guess that's enough doind off-topic for now

[Reply #456 on:]

We should get the G Man to beat him close to death then we would take a drill and make the brains fly.

[Reply #457 on:]

or a baseball, really it would work, cheap and effective

[Reply #458 on:]

death by sonic diarrhea, since he already annoys the crap out of all of us

[Reply #459 on:]

I say we shoud shoot him with a low powered gauss flayer that slowly flays his skin off.

( To people who dont know a gauss flayer is a weapon that the Necrons use in Warhammer 40k)

@ Bigboysdontcry What is it with you and basebal  bats. The only time I  would Cubert with a bat is when the bat is solid iron. That will make his brains fly!

[Reply #460 on:]

I say we hold him under water untill he's ready to drown then pull him up at the last minute. Contiue doing this untill he is exhursted and in agony, when you pull him out of the water completely and strangle him with a tie.

[Reply #461 on:]

Or we could kill him with a tea-cup!Or a shoe-lase!
But I still like the idea of a Zombine(Damn it Alyx,it's not funny!) killing him.I always wanted to kill someone with a zombie with a granade.Even more than with a crowbar!

[Reply #462 on:]

The baseball bat is too common I say we tie him to a wall and throw darts, knives, and other sharp things at him.

[Reply #463 on:]

I say we tie him up and throw money at him, and not the nice money, I'm talking spare change, hard spare change.

[Reply #464 on:]

I would never kill Cubert! He's funny and cool!

[Reply #465 on:]

*shakes head*
My dear girl, I suggest you go to a doctor, though not Zoidberg. Cubert is the most annoying, irratating, loathsome berk, jackass a**hole etc etc on the planet and the universe. Thats why we come up with ways to kill him. Kindly leave us to our plotting.

And welcome to PEEL

[Reply #466 on:]

yes, welcome... and we should probably kill him with brain freze with tango ice blasts

[Reply #467 on:]

Fead him to Gonarch

[Reply #468 on:]

Make him eat himself!

[Reply #469 on:]

Ooh,I found the perfect way to kill him!Put him in The Citadel when it was exploding!If you never saw how it happened,then you should,it was the coolest explosion ever!

[Reply #470 on:]

Rip out his eyes and feast on the gooey insides.

[Reply #471 on:]

Rip out his heart and shove it in his mouth

[Reply #472 on:]

Kill him with the hamster-ball of death!

[Reply #473 on:]

stuff him full of firecrackers for the next freedom day fireworks show

[Reply #474 on:]

Grind glass down into a fine power, then sprinkle it on Cubert's food. The ground glass will rip Cubert apart from the inside.

[Reply #475 on:]

Poke him with a sharp stick!

[Reply #476 on:]

I think we've had that

[Reply #477 on:]

Still it's a great way to die... Writer Unit make sure you puncture a lung.

[Reply #478 on:]

Rip out his lungs

[Reply #479 on:]

I would smash his head partly so he would still be alive and then he would start shaking then hit him some more, then hit him in the chest so he couldn't breathe, and right before he passed out I would hit him over and over again in the gonads, there thats what I am talking about baby, baseball bat and all. In the words of Elzar "Bam"