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UnrealLegend

Space Pope
   
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Hey, skydiving and driving have a lot in common...or at least they do the way I drive.
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winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
 
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My Little Throney.
winna:

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Xanfor

Moderator
DOOP Secretary

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Love hurts.
That's normal. NEXT PATIENT!
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DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary

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I wonder where he will blow next..
I don't. What are you, fucking gay?
For Freako, globviously...
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Otis P Jivefunk

DOOP Secretary

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This board is like an unending soap opera that has the same plot for twenty years, just characters get older. ...
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DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary

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What a piece of complete and utter trash. Truly, this item being listed on eBay is a complete and total waste of electrons. I hope nobody buys it and this dickhead still has to pay the listing charge.
The Homer glue blob was an enormous waste of electrons, but that had the redeeming feature of being an amusing accident. Even so, it barely qualified as "interesting", and should have been a photo buried somewhere on tumblr rather than an eBay item. This... shouldn't even be on the internet. The creator of this item should have never bothered making it. However, seeing as they went ahead and did so, they should have then done the decent thing and shoved it up their own arse, then taken a warfarin enema just so that the story attached to the item ended up with a modicum of entertainment value.
I can't adequately articulate how pointless this eBay listing, this thread, and the account that started it seem to me. Not if the above doesn't lay it out properly for you, anyhow.
Dear GOD, I used to think that whilst PEEL might be a huge waste of time, at least it could never be completely and totally fucking pointless, and boring. I think differently now, and I know more deeply than I did that ignorance truly is bliss.
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UnrealLegend

Space Pope
   
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You should probably also get a haircut, castrate yourself, and donate your body to science. That way your genes won't be passed on, you'll advance the cause of human knowledge, and you won't look like a fucking hippy whilst you're doing it.
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DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary

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What in the spiky, sweaty, claustrophobic hell for child molesters is a "burn warden" ?
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Xanfor

Moderator
DOOP Secretary

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This thread is for posts worthy of getting an individual nominated, regardless of whether or not that individual is eligible.
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cyber_turnip

Urban Legend
  
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I don't think we have quite enough photos of people sitting alone.
I agree we need to mix it up a bit. Why don't you draw a picture of yourself sitting alone?
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TheMadCapper

Fluffy
UberMod
DOOP Secretary

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Personally, I think this is one of tallywhacker's better efforts. Anyone else amused? Ahh, February. The crap month that everyone craps on by giving it a bunch of crap holidays that nobody gives a crap about.
Groundhog day! Because someone out there used to believe that a big fat rat was relevant to something in any way. The only good thing that ever came out of this "holiday" is a movie starring Bill Murray. This "holiday" gets the shortest writeup in this post, and it deserves it.
Abraham Lincoln's Birthday! Because dammit it's February and we need something to distract us from the crap winter weather that we're sick of by this point in the year. Let's "celebrate" the fact that he was born, instead of you know, one of his accomplishments or something. This is one of several "holidays" that you can't even really celebrate. If you say "Happy Abe Lincoln's Birthday" to the cashier at the grocery store, they're going to think you're retarded. And they'll be right, because nobody of normal intelligence actually thinks this day matters.
Valentine's Day! Buy useless crap for your significant other! If you don't, you're gonna be in deep crap! Make a baby now so your November-December holiday season will be crap! This special holiday combines the expenditure of time and energy and money on your significant other with the joylessness of fulfilling an obligation! And for some unaccountable reason, the price of flowers doubles during the week leading up to the holiday. Plus, everyone who's single or in a bad relationship feels even worse! And why the hell does valentine's Day get its own special candy? It's not thoughtful unless it's in the mass-produced pink box? Valentine's Day, you are a terrible, money grubbing, joy-destroying monster.
Presidents' Day? Why is this a holiday at all? Who the hell celebrates Presidents' Day? How do you even celebrate this? By getting a blowjob from a subordinate? Actually, that sounds pretty good to me. Let's just rename this one Blowjob Day. BJ Day. It even rhymes! It's only fair because we men spent all that money and effort pleasing your V on V-day last week. And those who didn't on account of being single could use some cheering up after how shitty being alone on V-day made them feel. BJs for everyone! Let's give February one single good point!
Mardi Gras! That's right - public nudity and profound drunkenness! The streets shall run with vomit and date-rape! Seriously, what the hell is with this holiday? It's not even excused by a major event like New Year's Eve or July 4th or anything. Freaking February, the month that encourages binge drinking and public self-degradation just so you can feel SOMETHING. In fact, Mardi Gras might be the only holiday that exists solely to scream an angry "up yours" to a religious holiday. I know Mardi Gras moves around the calendar to find and harass Ash Wednesday and make sure everyone feels like shit for the whole day on Ash wednesday, but having it in February just feels right. It's a holiday that needs counseling or Thorazine or something. Probably has serious daddy issues.
Ash Wednesday? What are you even doing here, Ash Wednesday? I know, I know, you're like, the gentleman adventurer of the holiday world, always traveling around the calendar. But seriously, February? You're slumming it this year. Whatever. At least I have an excuse to put dirt on my face. February makes me want to do that anyway.
George Washington's Birthday - Again, we're celebrating the fact that some guy got born. You know what? Everyone who's ever lived got born. I am SICK of February acting like birthdays are a big deal. At least Christmas has like, religious significance attached to the birth. Does anybody pray to George Washington? If they do, I want to meet them. And then slap them in the face. If there's a lot of them, they can all line up and I'll run down the line and slap them all in a row. Possibly squirt one in the eye too. He can be the leader of their stupid Washington cult.
And finally, we have leap-year-day-thing. My calendar doesn't actually list the 29th of February as a special occasion, but it is. The 29th is that special day when every four years, the rest of the calendar decides to jam an extra day up February's ass. And February takes it without complaint, probably just for the attention.
How about a new holiday? We can name it Seasonal Affective Disorder day. Everyone lines up at the morgue and shoots themselves because of how shitty this month is. Between being asked to celebrate a rodent, having your relationship (or lack thereof) subjected to the indignity of the obligatory sex holiday, and the fact that everyone in the northern hemisphere is sick and tired of all this snow BS and the only relief you get from the snow is when it turns into mud, I wouldn't be surprised if it DID have an abnormally high suicide rate.
The end.
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futurefreak

salutatory committee member
Moderator
DOOP Secretary

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As one of the main indicators of funny around here (don't act so surprised) I do agree that that was worth the nomination.
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UnrealLegend

Space Pope
   
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As much as I like Futurama, I don't like tattoos, so I wouldn't ever get something like that.

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winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
 
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ThatGuyYouKnow

Bending Unit
  
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Genesis 6:16.5 - And God said to build two of such arks, but He cautioned Noah, only mounteth thy naval cannon on one ark, verily.
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coffeeBot

Urban Legend
  
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You could combine the final two. Murder Fermat's last prostitute. I'm sure that the quest will prove fruitless and yet entertaining as you set out to accomplish something exceptionally unusual.
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Gorky

DOOP Secretary

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In reference to this: Did he die? Otherwise it is boring.
The duck knows comedy!
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DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary

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« Reply #472 on: 03-02-2012 18:15 »
« Last Edit on: 03-03-2012 00:42 »
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I prefer to look at it the other way, with the zombie's head on the right side. Makes the 8 o'clock bulge more interesting.
Nice pic, but your nipples appear to be on fire despite the rain. You should do something about that.
It was just a matter of time before danny started craving human flesh. Surely I'm not the only one who saw that coming?
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UnrealLegend

Space Pope
   
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The release of Dead Island is sadder than the trailer.
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Gorky

DOOP Secretary

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All of these pictures in this thread fill me with an awe inspiring feeling deep inside both my scrotum and rectum that causes me to yearn for a future horizon where all of the dreams ever held by humanity could be claimed truthfully for the innocence that spreads across our small beautiful world.
A small tear sheds from my eyes as I finally believe in the possibility of virtue in my fellow man.
Winna entered the photography thread, noticed a distinct lack of references to both the scrotum and the rectum, and remedied that problem. For that, I salute him.
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futurefreak

salutatory committee member
Moderator
DOOP Secretary

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Doesn't he usually do that with every thread? I stopped noticing, heh.
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DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary

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Yes I got a well done. In your face Hitler. lol
Simply because: WTF?
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Bend-err

DOOP Secretary

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In 17 Days I will have been a PEELer for 8 years! And in that time I have accomplished absolutely nothing, no POTMs or PEELies. I graduated high school and went to college but who gives a shit about that? On PEEL without noms, you are a nobody.
So I'm better than you? Wow.
You will never be better than me you adolescent twat.
Now there is a perfect reason to nominate Spacedal next month!
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