Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread (nom nom nom)

[Reply #320 on:]

It means a lot of most people are retarded.

Fixed for more truth.

Fixed for even more truth.

Svip trutheyness.

[Reply #321 on:]

Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

Xanfor, Y U inelegible?

[Reply #322 on:]

Real Daleks don't level the building, they order their human slaves to do so. Whilst they tell racist jokes about Cybermen.

[Reply #323 on:]

Nevermind, I'm an idiot

That's a quote for the wiki. Right there.

[Reply #324 on:]

Haha put it up... doo it

[Reply #325 on:]

Oh well, at least I said it this time. Less embarrassing than what the actual post was too.

[Reply #326 on:]

That's good then.

Now I wanna know what the actual post was...

[Reply #327 on:]

I'm guessing Books used her account to post about the consistency and flavour of her menses again.

[Reply #328 on:]

Nah, it was regarding gopher's cube. You can probably guess what I said involved.

[Reply #329 on:]

If you ask me, spending your 20's living with your parents, and going out spending all your money getting drunk and sleeping with tons of different people is a much bigger waste of time.

I wish I'd wasted my 20s doing that.

  Bravo.

[Reply #330 on:]

I was really just pointing out that 20s shouldn't have an apostrophe.

[Reply #331 on:]

The Torah is the first five books, which in turn make up the first third of the Tanakh.

[Reply #332 on:]

One of the best episodes so far is about one of the unicorns who decides to put on a fashion show, and spends a good portion of the design stage singing about the "Art of the Dress".

It is awesome, and I am not ashamed to admit that I have memorized said song in its entirety.

[Reply #333 on:]

Everything izs all wazy

I've had days where everything was all wazy, myself. Mostly when I was too drunk to think of a real word to describle what things were like. So this isn't a PTOM-Nomination so much as a wiki-quote nomination.

[Reply #334 on:]

Jesus-jumped-up-christ-on-a-cracker.

[Reply #335 on:]

Should that be "hategory"?

No.

* Xanfor imprisons totalnerduk in the pungeons.

Yay!

Aint no dungeon more fungeon than a pungeon! Just please don't beat me with a  truncheon or use a stun gun, and I'm sure when the fun's done we'll all want to rungeon straight back to the pungeon for more fungeon on a bungeon. 'Cause it's the best kind of dungeon.

[Reply #336 on:]

A really excellent one-liner can fertilize nearly seventeen thousand eggs.

[Reply #337 on:]

"ThreadPirateRoberts" has now been trademarked by me.

[Reply #338 on:]

news presenters are exasperating the helicopter

[Reply #339 on:]

Mostly for the last 2 lines.  

"Marihuana is that drug - a violent narcotic - an unspeakable scourge - The Real Public Enemy Number One!"

I can't even read those opening cards without dying of laughter. The list of effects that are completely 100% false, calling it the most dangerous illegal drug that's ever exists...the movie is sobering proof of the fact that sometimes adults and even our government will flat out lie to us for no particularly good reason. It's a sad reminder that we should always question authority and do our own research when we can. It's also totally hysterical.

and this will surely garner a nomination from me:

I think perhaps you should smoke some pot.

ah, days off work giving me time to find all this fodder:

 Of course I knew about the tab A slot B mechanics since third grade.

interrobang

[Reply #340 on:]

Somebody please summarize what's happened on PEEL in the last two months and GO!

Well, first some people started posting nonsensical twaddle, then followed it up with some insipid poppycock. Then came the rigmarole of other posters trying to refute this with tomfoolery and hogwash. Then things got complicated once balderdash got mixed into the flimflam, resulting in a large amount of rubbish, claptrap, and baloney. Fortunately, this eventually evolved into gobbledygook and other assorted flummery, clearing the way for more sophisticated hokum and tommyrot.

[Reply #341 on:]

[Reply #342 on:]

it absolutely shat it down with rain

That phrase amused me immensely.

[Reply #343 on:]

Xanforange

Those are about the same size as clementines, and a little bit sweeter.

I'm having trouble picturing this, since I initially took "Xanforange" as a euphamism for "The mighty testicles of Xanfor".

 

[Reply #344 on:]

I've noticed a lot of the posts in here end up being for ineligible Posters, but still:

His eyes are pointing lap-ward, though. That could easily be his surprise-erection face.

You can't pass this stuff up.

[Reply #345 on:]

I would love to know what happened after the last episode of Clone High...

Most people say Scudworth somehow takes the flash freezer and puts it on Cloney Island, then a bunch of stupid fanfics were born.

Way way back in the new millenium,
Some nerdy message board fanficers,
Set about making new compendium,
So they wrote some slashfic garbage

Now the canon is abandoned,
The mary sues are gonna try,
One dimensional characteristics,
Dumb emotional conflict makes them
cry

So let's rewrite
CLONE HIGHHHH
Poorly written
CLONE HIGHHHH
It's fanfiction
CLONE HIGGHHHHH

I debated whether I should post this here or in the rant thread.

Earlier today I came back to the office from a short, intense bike ride, and walked upstairs to the locker room.  it's a tiny affair with maybe 50-60 half lockers and two tiny benches, and has a single shower stall with a sliding privacy door.  There is rarely ever more than one person using it at a time.

So I walked into the room and was shocked to see someone standing totally-butt-naked on the scale. Completely starkers.  Naturally I turned my gaze and let out an involuntary Kif "Ugh".  The dude was the spitting image of a real life Zapp Brannigan.  About 6 feet tall, 30-something, stocky build, and yellow blond hair that even looked like Zapp's.  "Geeze, dude", I thought, "If you're concerned that the weight of a towel might throw off the reading then at least put on some damn undershorts".

"I'm going to take a short shower.", he announced to the room, in a faux-baritone voice.  At least he didn't roll his "R"s, too. I was turned away at the time, naturally, and rolled my eyes and let out a small sigh.

Of course he didn't close the sliding privacy door and when the water came on I was afraid that he's start singing, too.  I wanted to leave but there's no way that I'd stroll around the office wearing skintight Lycra so I took out my phone and re-read some old text messages.

He was vain like Zapp, too, because when I looked at the scale I saw that he'd reset the sliding weight down to its last position (no chance he only weighed 174 pounds). After he came out I quickly dashed into the shower area to escape his droning on about the work he did for his company downstairs (we are in part of the upper floor).  I hosed down the shower stall thoroughly before stepping into it, too.

The whole thing reminded me of the shower scene in War is the H Word.

[Reply #346 on:]

Yet another ineligible poster posts something awesome:

Let's get down to basics, spira.  How much would I have to threaten you for you to bang Danny?  On scale of nose flick to tactical nuclear missile.

Somewhere between "amputation of left leg" and "holding your family at gunpoint".

[Reply #347 on:]

If the cars are furry and yelp when he fixes them, they're probably dogs as well.

[Reply #348 on:]

God, does Twilight take place in a pocket dimension where Bella is ... Justin Bieber ?

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who sounds like a broken record at this point at this point. 

[Reply #349 on:]

Having a physical form is disgusting and painful.

[Reply #350 on:]

As for abortions, my uterus has been scraped more times then the bottom of a KFC family bucket in Croydon.  

Oh dear God. Careful what you say or the next abortion you have will be carried out by ilovebender.com's probing, questing tongue, searching and searching for chicken.

This made me laugh way too hard.

[Reply #351 on:]

Managers are people too, and people are shit.

Needs to go on the wiki.

[Reply #352 on:]

Or if Obi Wan could appear anywhere as a ghost, he could have just haunted the shit out of the Emperor and Vader until they gave up their evil plans.

Or at least spied a bit for the Alliance:
"No Bothans died for these plans, because Master Kenobi drew them rough hand on his ghost notebook, Master Kenobi..."
"Ok bear with me, my ghost pen ran out of ink, basically the weakness is here, a small exhaust port right beside this coffee stain..."

[Reply #353 on:]

Here's a question: Are fireworks 100% energy efficient?

No.  Otherwise many millions of people would be killed by fireworks each year.

[Reply #354 on:]

Whats the red one doing?
Supervising or something?

Looking for Pacman

[Reply #355 on:]

Off-Pic-Voice: "Sorry, I thought I was in Groening's GOOD series... "

That better be a joke.

Let's just compromise here and say that it's Groening's best series involving retarded people living next to a nuclear power plant.

Hey kids, we're here to tell you about the dangers of sex. But we might also be semen to mention other things.

[Reply #356 on:]

Of course, he could choose not to have sex until he's confident that he can handle it in a mature and proper manner.

There's an entire subset of society who handle it in a mature and proper manner - just like a business. We call them "prostitutes". Congratulations. You're the first Catholic Cardinal I've ever heard advising somebody to become a sex worker.

[Reply #357 on:]

Metaphorically, yes!
"Sticks and stones no longer hurt me anymore, I am unstoppable... give me all your cash!"

I just assume these superskin people will immediately become supervillains.

[Reply #358 on:]

In a recent study I did, kids with ADD were found to have a gross deficiency of being thrown into a wood chipper.  Most of the control group did too though, so my results were inconclusive.

[Reply #359 on:]

Women need to talk less, and fuck me more.