Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread Harder

[Reply #120 on:]

Ah yes, as a musician I've studied the circle of filths quite a bit.

I'm fairly sure the band is called Cradle of Flints, Mr. The "Ater." You were probably far too busy "ating" to notice.

EDIT: Top of the page dances are for 'tards.

[Reply #121 on:]

I was referring to the circle of fifths, actually. Unless you're fully caught up with your music theory and knew that, and were putting your own twist on the joke. In which case, carry on.

[Reply #122 on:]

I was referring to thecircle of fifths, actually. Unless you're fully caught up with your music theory and knew that, and were putting your own twist on the joke. In which case, carry on.

Given that I have some knowledge of music theory, and a close-knit group of friends largely consisting of musos, I can safely say that your posts are boring. So quit it. Quit boring me.

[Reply #123 on:]

I sad now.

[Reply #124 on:]

Bender pulled out his ring and looked devastatingly into Amy's weary, war-torn eyes.
"I think we've been discovered," he wept, approaching her with a boundless vigour unknown to man or robot.
"Whatever do you mean, Bopter?" Amy responded, one of her eyes bursting from the seams of her socket to then be flung to the opposing side of the room. A washcloth laughed incestuously as the boiler's exhaust consumed Amy's loose eyeball, spitting out the pupil behind it.
"Let us have some tea!" Bender cowed back, with eventual surreptitiously. Despondent glee smeckled upon either brow of the two love-struck soldiers.
"Indeed," Amy mockingly jarred, grabbing Bender by the hamstrings and skipping electrifying to the beat of a murdered saucepan.
Time transpired.
The two later found themselves aboard a tea sinker, strapped to the middle of the ocean and flapping about in the air like wildfire.
"Bender, I don't quite believe this vessel is safe?" Asked Leela, wondering why she always punctuated her statements with question marks.
"Nonsense, gully! I know exactly where the tea doth transgress!" was the belated response of the robot currently known as Bender, practically sneezing the words from his flaps with the dexterity of a million russians. He pulled out a flashlight from Leela's flashlight dispenser.
"My flashlight dispenser!" Exclaimed Leela, adding nothing to the conversation.
"NOT NOW," Bender shot back hastily. He had grown a nose just to turn it up at the very thought of Leela's grubby hands mimmicking those of his own. "I found a clue."
Bender held up the clue. A note read "Meet me under the mid-town whale," signed "Tea" at the cusp.
"TO THERE?" Asked Leela.
Seventy four years later, Bender and Amy arrived at the mid-town whale, which was not so much a whale as it was an abandoned jockey prison.
"What is this place?" Asked Amy.
"Well," Bender groaned, spurttingly and with raucous fervor, "It's the mid-town whale, which is not so much a whale as it is an abandoned jockey prison."
"I see," blinked Amy in morse code.
A month-long silence ensued.
"Bepto," Amy regained herself, burning up what was left of her garments to leave her as naked as the day Bender made her. "I'm leaving you."
"Jolly good," Beamer replied.
Amy slapped Bender in the tucus, donned a mustical cap and flonked her way to Los Orleans, where she took up lap dancing and hemorrhaging. But Bender's love blew away with the cyclone that took his legs that day, and he never moved a muscle again, choosing to spend the rest of his life in that one location where the world ended. His world, anyway.
The ice cream licked him.
There would be no more days.

[Reply #125 on:]

So, that made the cut but my epic post on floppies didn't?

On a side note, I only just saw this:

Brilliant.

[Reply #126 on:]

Oh yeah!

What do erections have to do with sex?

It's a mystery.

If anything, they make it harder to have sex given how much more difficult it is to pee into a girl while fully erect. When I git down and funky with the ladies, I like to make sure I've got my flop on first. Even if it means draining myself completely; ie. masturbating up to ten, twenty times and reaching the point of bleeding. Not to mention all the great foreplay that comes with a floppy - ie. slapping the woman's shins around with your funny little flop, dangling it into a dog, etc. GIT YER FLOP ON, DANGIT.

[Reply #127 on:]

It still doesn't change the fact that it was forgotten.

Shame on you, UnrealLegend. Shame on You.

[Reply #128 on:]

Tasty speaks truth:

GedeWK, you've got to be careful with what you click on, even if the link doesn't go offsite, sometimes the peeler pic thread can be terrifying, especially if Nibbs has been posting in there.

[Reply #129 on:]

It still doesn't change the fact that it was forgotten.

Shame on you, UnrealLegend. Shame on You.

You mean Jezzem, right?

[Reply #130 on:]

You don't even like Futurama.

You don't even have a full brain.

What I have left of it clearly works better than your whole brain.

[Reply #131 on:]

Don't forget the rest of it;

Is that why you can't sleep properly?

Says the one who takes sleeping medication.

Maybe you should take some.

Maybe you should shut up!

[Reply #132 on:]

Looking through CGEF reviews is like masturbating. I try and tell myself I'm better off without it, and immediately hate myself once I've finished.

EDIT: Also this.

Yep, your post has really caught on.

Fame on you, Monster_Robot_Maniac. Fame on you.

[Reply #133 on:]

I can't draw Fry's face (as far as I know); you usually can. Then again, you don't even like Futurama.

[Reply #134 on:]

Brilliant.

[Reply #135 on:]

Hey, where did all this Worceracs Sauce come from?

Hrmm?

Actually only bring the other things if you're ready to party. I do it 20gram rock style bitch. I'm a warlock. My rape is the kind you want. Yeah baby you know it.

Don't call me again. This isnt a fucking hotline.

I would just like to go on the record immediately and say that ReturnofScarecrow isn't me.

I would just like to go on the record immediately and say suck me off bitches. Your comfy dick feels so good in my mouth Beemer yo. Im not the hero peel needs but Im the hero you like to love ALL OVER MY FACE WHEN I SUCK YOUR FUCKS.

GIVE ME MY POTM RIGHT NOW AND I WON'T RETURN AGAIN FOR A DECADE. GIVE ME YO.

606 FOREVER BITCHES! [TYPE 606 FOR A GUD TIME. I MERGE WITH ALL KINDS OF ASSHOLS]

Beamer's best Billy West impression to date!

[Reply #136 on:]

Dude. We don't all have 1000 accounts here.

Plus I'd like to think I'm at least slightly wittier than that.

[Reply #137 on:]

There is only one account here: Zuul winna.

[Reply #138 on:]

Definitely wittier than those guys, then.

[Reply #139 on:]

Hanging out with friends!

Hahaha, just kidding. 

Show spoiler

[Reply #140 on:]

There is only one account here: Zuul winna.

You're too cuul for Zuul?

[Reply #141 on:]

As the owner of not one but TWO testicles, I can safely say that analogy was apt.

[Reply #142 on:]

For those who haven't step foot into the Hippie Toad's Arat topic, Monster Robot Maniac just won the thread:

Because of our most favorite non-canon Zoidberg, Sozberg! All hail to the Sozberg!

Actually, he really is somewhat cannon. He was originally supposed to be introduced in 'The Series Has Landed', but was removed due to the fact that the producers believed he would be much too easy to confuse with Zoidberg. They had to edit alot of the scenes in that episode in order to remove him. As others have said, there is an easter egg featuring some of his lost scenes, although it is on Season One Disc One.

Here's a picture of one of his scenes on my crappy old TV, as the easter egg is considerably hard to find.



-EDIT-
I've also found an early version of the Inside-Out Bender scene from 'Overclockwise' that shows Hippie Toad's drawing to be actually pretty on-model, too. I'm personally very happy they decided to change this scene to have it just be Bender's eyes and mouth, instead of have it be this oddity:

[Reply #143 on:]

Indeed.  If someone shouts "Think fast!" and then throws a ball at your head, you're going to want to be able to see well enough to catch it.

Of course, you wouldn't hear the "Thank fast!", so you still might get bonked.

What kind of entitled jerk would you have to be to hurl something at an unsuspecting victim AND demand that they thank you quickly?

A real son of a batch.

Seeing/hearing this made me laugh.

[Reply #144 on:]

For those who haven't step foot into the Hippie Toad's Arat topic, Monster Robot Maniac just won the thread:

Because of our most favorite non-canon Zoidberg, Sozberg! All hail to the Sozberg!

Actually, he really is somewhat cannon. He was originally supposed to be introduced in 'The Series Has Landed', but was removed due to the fact that the producers believed he would be much too easy to confuse with Zoidberg. They had to edit alot of the scenes in that episode in order to remove him. As others have said, there is an easter egg featuring some of his lost scenes, although it is on Season One Disc One.

Here's a picture of one of his scenes on my crappy old TV, as the easter egg is considerably hard to find.

Show spoiler

-EDIT-
I've also found an early version of the Inside-Out Bender scene from 'Overclockwise' that shows Hippie Toad's drawing to be actually pretty on-model, too. I'm personally very happy they decided to change this scene to have it just be Bender's eyes and mouth, instead of have it be this oddity:

Show spoiler

[Reply #145 on:]

*Opening scene. Exterior Planet Expre-etc. We cut inside to see Leela shaving the ship. Fry approaches*

FRY: Leela! I've got something for you!

LEELA: Not now, Owen! I'm busy shaving the PLANET EXPRESS SHIP with a floppy razor.

FRY: Leela, put down that floppy, and take a look at mine!

*Fry unzips his pants and unfolds his schlong out from his fly onto the floor like a dog tongue*

LEELA: FRY, I'VE SEEN YOUR FLOPPY BEFORE.

*Fry picks up his big, silly floppy and slaps Leela one frontwise over the skull.

FRY: Shut up! Have you seen THIS?!

*Fry closes his eyes and clenches until he passes a stone. He then picks it up, stickytapes it on to a gold ring and shoves it into Leela's pie-hole.

LEELA: OW! My pie-hole!

FRY: NEVER!!! Will you marry me?

LEELA: I can't answer you Fry, my mouth is full!

FRY: Well then, I'm leaving you and marrying the Planet Express ship! At least she's clean-shaven!

LEELA: Okay, seeyah!

*Fade to black, credits roll for the next 19 minutes of the episode*

What is this, the third Beamer post I've put in here this month?

[Reply #146 on:]

It all adds up.

I want Fry to kidnap her and write WILL U MARRIE ME in Nibblers blood on the wall.

[Reply #147 on:]

It all adds up.

I want Fry to kidnap her and write WILL U MARRIE ME in Nibblers blood on the wall.

Spoiler Alert.

[Reply #148 on:]

In regards to the "favourite roast" poll:

Just pick human.  They're supposed to taste the same.  I wouldn't know though.  I've never had pork.

[Reply #149 on:]

...The doorway in my heart for a good episode is always open, no matter how much the show breaks my heart, like a misbehaving teenaged son.

POTM?  POTM??  Screw POTM, this is fucking Post of the Year material!!

Draw a turtle.

Draw porn.

[Reply #150 on:]

Other people sound stupid.

[Reply #151 on:]

I really enjoyed this one from Spacedal:

Not for you, no.

Freako used a Wild Compliment. It's Super Effective. Freako Leveled Up and learned Friendship.

[Reply #152 on:]

Oh your tyrantic Orthian gods.

Well MRM, you see: It was a lovely June October noon and the moon had collapsed into itself and dissolved due to the coming of The Black Tyrants. The Black Tyrants were an orchestral collective, consisiting of woodwind instruments such as piano and jukebox, and not a whole lot else. They were headed straight for planet Orth (which is what we renamed Earth after The White Democrats stole our letter E to help buld a new and improved volcano) on redback, clicking their whips henceforth while every single whale on the planet cried, a fact which nobody noticed due to the ocean already having so many damn tears. There was precious big time before The Black Tyrannosaurus would reach us, and we were unable to fend them off with eggs - their one weakness - due to the aforementioned lack of the letter E, and the fact that we had not yet renamed them. We almost called them Oggs, but all the music torront sites were confounded by such a proposition, and had tossed their fingers into the salty, whale tear-filled sea accordingly. We were all out of [option]s.

Suddenly, a door opened up, revealing a near-stark naked Nibblonian Leader, wearing nothing but his first t-shirt which he had bought recently. I believe it had the Niko logo on it. Knowing we needed as many [option]s as possible, he raided PEEL's polls (keeping in mind PEEL had since been renamed POOL, thus making it a POOL poll which was most troublesome due to the PEEL pool recently having had a pole installed to attract people there for polling). "Round up tho options!" he screamed, at nobody in particular as everyone fled upon seeing Nibbs' floppy. It was at this point, he realised that he had no choice but to cut one of his testicles off with a stanley knife, throwing it into the PEEL pool, then run into PEEL manor (POOL manor; hence why we could afford a pool) and collect as many [option]s as he could find. He loaded them into the canon printer, printing out each option which he then loaded into a cannon, firing each [option] at The Black Tyrants, hitting them in their prospective testicles - a fact that made Nibbs quite jealous due to him recently having cut his own off. He was regretting doing so and, frankly, wondered why he even did. Each [option] then decapitated every last Black Tyrant, thus saving Orth and POOL manor once again, albeit a POOL manor now depleted of [option]s.

And that, my friend, is why [option] will never win. There is no [option]. In fact, there are no more [option]s, and never will be. So just drop it. ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT ORTH IS SAFE?!?!?!!!

Maybe it was because it's 6 AM and I'm a trifle tyred, but this had me chortling and giggling out loud.

as opposed to out soft.

_"torront"

Did they all originate in Toronto?...

[Reply #153 on:]

_"torront"

Did they all originate in Toronto?...

I call the Four Seasons in Toronto,
The only place my girl would stay,
The concierge was rather pleasant,
When I called her by first name...

Wait, this isn't SputnikMusic, nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about. Uhhh... *insert Futurama reference here*

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

[Reply #154 on:]

That's whatever you were talking about for you!!

(See what I did there)

Hmm.. There is/was a hotel called the Four Seasons up in Door County, as well.

Shame on you, tube. Shame on You.

Greatest post ever may or may not in fact be courtesy of Km.

MAY OR MAY KNOT, *grumble*

Show spoiler

[Reply #155 on:]

Another great Km73 one (on Nibblonian Leader):

Also, he's missing one of his tosticlos.

To be distinguished from missing one of his tostadas, which would only be a grave infraction, if he does end up working at Taco Swell.

Also, this:

Well fuck you, mister well-adjusted-high-school-graduate!

"Well-adjusted?" I prefer "good enough actor."

Oh, now you're a celebrity as well, are you?!

[Reply #156 on:]

You're fucking damn right.  I didn't come halfway across the fucking galactic plane to clean up shit stain primordial bipedal parasitic rock crawling worms like you and yours sitting on this side of the happy lighted planet eating your fuckleberries and fattening yourselves up with your shortenberry shakes.

When I take motion, mountains quake, oceans run, stars grow anxious like shadows drawn across a mirror.  I'm going to fuck your entire fucking history out of fucking existence.  That's what we're talking about here, that's the gravity of the situation, you speck, worthless dot in the nature of reality.  Swim back to your grain, minnow of desolation.  Your mother's tit craves satisfaction.

[Reply #157 on:]

Oh winna, always the jokester!

[Reply #158 on:]

It's almost as popular as tnuk-filter.

Dare I ask what a tnuk-filter does? It had bloody well better not make my (frankly, fucking excellent) profanity appear as bowdlerized cockwipings and nursery-safe jibber-jabber to appease the cuntrags and pubeslurpers who don't feel that it's "appropriate". Fuck "appropriate" with a giant, shit-eating, Fuckosaurus. In the arse. With a double-sided sandpaper condom.

Anyhow, that had better not be what it is. I'll not be best pleased if that's the case.

[Reply #159 on:]

I must add these (replies to that^):

I would really like to see a TNUK filter, turning your posts into something like "I also consider that the best episode ever, I completely agree with you, and you are one of the most valueable posters I have ever met".
Because then I wanted to read your un-filtered comments and opinions towards that filter, and I suspect that might be just over-epic

Indeed.

tnuk filter: "Hello. Hein. You're quite good. At turning. Me on."

Best callback ever.