Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread Harder

[Reply #240 on:]

Who doesn't love a plethora of cunts?

I don't need context. I love this sentence.

[Reply #241 on:]

This was how I abandoned my dreadful meal at KFC. Never going back there again.

A well-articulated burn, U.N.-RegulatedLectern! I think I'm definitely going to hitch my wagon to your rising star, if you know what I mean. No, it's okay. You write down what you thought I meant, and I'll write down what I thought I meant, and then we'll compare notes.

[Reply #242 on:]

UnregulatedLecturer never wrote down what he thought you meant.

_{I think it is something about hitching a ride and falling off the wagon.}

Who doesn't love a plethora of cunts?

I don't need context. I love this sentence.

Quite.  Conquered Concurred.  Also the prev-page bit where I got called "beloved".   Presumably not the novel though.
That's what I was SAYING, context be damned!  Andbut I knew this newer poast reminded me of something!, - it looks like that is a bit of a running Theme going:

A plethora of holes is always a good thing.

Who doesn't love a plethora of holes?

(It ran to the local meme-theme park)

I'm pretty sure that one of my old cats was a lesbian too.

And finally, this really did cluck crack me up:

Girl, I say, girl, for a mite there I thoughts you wuz a chicken... (chickm?)

*cackle*

[Reply #243 on:]

Sorry I haven't been on PEEL lately.

Life is not being kind to me right now. It seems like for every good thing, 5 bad things follow it. I am so stressed out right now, I've been having dizzy spells. Certain feelings have been overtaking me, consuming my thoughts, and distracting me. We just started exponents in math, and I have a worksheet on them due Tuesday. I haven't done anything. I can't concentrate, my family is driving me up the wall, and love is a very confusing thing.

Grade 9 is weird.

What happens when you multiply two exponents together?

x^y * x^z = ???

What is the value of a variable to the exponent of zero?

x⁰ = ???

What happens when you subtract variables with exponents attached?

x³ - x^log(e) = ???

What happens when the derivative of an exponent is greater than or equal to the value of potential utility you might gain from starting a romantic relationship with an individual you haven't met for 30 or greater years?

x^{dx/dy * 7} >= love(utility)/boy * 30+n = ???

[Reply #244 on:]

Beamer looks up from sculpting a papier-mâché Nibbs with his penis.

What's this, now?

This is freaking hilarious, especially out of context.

[Reply #245 on:]

I quite enjoyed this little run (the first one included for context):

My goal is to become a Professor at the end of the year.

I'm hoping to become a DOOP Ubersecretary by Thursday.

I'm hoping to become an Administrator by Friday.

[Reply #246 on:]

The internet has bred a whole generation of hyper-critical cynics for whom nothing is good enough and wonder no longer exists. Opening the floodgates for the instant airing of nit-picks and lofty analyses by people who have never made a film, written a story, or done anything even remotely creative of their own has served to destroy what was once such an innocent and delightful diversion.

Internet killed the video star.

[Reply #247 on:]

[Reply #248 on:]

Imma have to vote for that one too.

[Reply #249 on:]

Joel Shoemaker is the worst Batman villain.

I don't know if this joke has ever been made before. But I want twenty.

[Reply #250 on:]

Thanks Spacedal. I kind of yoinked it from somewhere else (can't remember where though).

Also, this made me laugh:

^ Dickhead.

[Reply #251 on:]

are you kidding me you little piece of shit i’ll have you know i graduated top of my politics class and i’ve been involved in privilege checking with over 150 confirmed political demonstrations i’m trained in conflict resolution and i was the most oppressed person in my entire upper middle class high school you are nothing to me but another cultural appropriator i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which have never been seen on this side of the 49th parallel mark my words you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet think again fucker, as we speak i’m checking with my anarcho-communist analyst brigade for your location so you better be prepared to deal with some molotov cocktails and angry feminists flying through your window yOU’RE FUCKING DEAD CHERRY! i can be anywhere at any time and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways and that’s just with me boring you to death while i talk about privilege not only am i extensively trained in hotline management but i have access to an entire arsenal of sociological articles to prove my point and i will use them to wipe your fucking face off the earth you little shit if only you had known what oppressed retribution your cultural appropriation would unleash then maybe you would have held your fucking tongue but you couldn’t you’re fucking dead kiddo

I'm of two minds about labeling GMOs and here is why: the primary crops in this country (the US) corn and soybeans, are essentially all GMOs at this point. Cotton might be included in that group, too. I believe wheat is one of the few staple crops that isn't because there was quite an uproar when GMO wheat appeared in fields 10 years after a "closed trial" which yielded the assessment that GMO wheat wasn't worth it. Now, corn and wheat are both wind-pollinated. That makes it extremely difficult to contain the genetic material that is GMO and presumably this is how GMO wheat was found in decidedly non-GMO growing conditions as GMO wheat is not available for sale. The problem I see with GMO labeling is that those growers producing what they believe to be non-GMO crops lose their cachet without any recourse. If you're growing non-GMO corn and have set up a buyer ahead of time as many farmers do (really the contract system for crops is a separate problem in and of itself) but your crop tests as GMO due to cross-pollination with GMO crops that could be miles away, you might lose your contract and be unable to collect a premium price for your product. Unless GMO labeling laws go beyond just "what's in this food?" the risk of GMO labeling could outweigh the benefits for growers.

So where does that leave us? Do we not label because of the high risk of cross-contamination via wind pollination or insect pollinators that don't discriminate between blossoms they visit? Do we label knowing it will screw over growers who in good faith have followed best practices? I really think it has to be an all-or-nothing approach: either GMOs need to be allowed and not labeled or forbidden outright at the federal level. The challenge is that genetic material remains viable for an extremely long time. Pollen grains can fertilize plant eggs even after an incredible amount of time has passed. If GMO wheat can appear 10 years after a closed trial that resulted in NO GMO wheat being offered, how long would US agriculture have to shut down to rid ourselves of GMO drift?

Even worse, I feel, than the concern about GMO labeling is patented and trademarked plant material. I work in research and I know how important intellectual property is to those who have conducted the research and want to commercialize their product, either through production themselves or through licensing to manufacturers. I think we as a country should be much more immediately concerned with the way plant patents are enforced in the US. If you know and care about GMOs, then you know that GMOs are also patented for their particular makeup. Growers who use patented seeds (ever seen those DeKalb signs out in a field of soybeans? Those tell you what variety is grown & you can look up the strain info) are prohibited through their use contracts from saving seed from one year to the next. Growers who save seed for re-use or even sale outside of their contract face incredibly stiff financial penalties, like lose-the-farm stiff, if they are found to have gone outside of the agreement terms. It keeps the farmers in a perpetual cycle of having to pay higher prices for seed varieties that may or may not perform well based on environmental factors. It doesn't matter how much Bt protection your corn has got if it doesn't rain until too late to set ears. Now imagine how compounded the problem would be if you've got GMO labeling on top of the patent enforcement: grower A buys patented GMO seed and grower B uses non-patented, non-GMO seed. The first season is great: grower A sells all of his crop. Grower B, however, has a contaminated crop. How can he prove in a patent dispute that he didn't, in fact, take patented seed, cross it with his own intentionally, and sow it this past season? How can grower B prove that he didn't illegally obtain starter seed from Grower A? Grower B gets screwed out of his non-GMO labeling deal and sued for patent infringement.

Both issues would have to be addressed at once for a GMO-labeling measure to be taken seriously. There would have to be a determination of what threshold there is for potential GMO presence to trigger a patent dispute. If GMO material is present in, say, 10% of your harvested crop, that would be a level to show the intent to incorporate GMO was absent; even though it does mean you can't market it as non-GMO, at least you wouldn't get patent-f*cked for it.

One weakness I see in the GMO-labeling movement is that the strongest supporters are anti-GMO, not necessarily people who want more information about their food. I get the USDA's bimonthly research publication and the work being conducted on rice strains that have higher vitamin content to combat global malnutrition isn't something that deserves immediate condescension. If you have a product that can reduce the likelihood of blindness from Vitamin A deficiencies, does that make it an evil product? It's the golden rice research project in case you're curious. When the public thinks of GMOs, thoughts immediately go to something "unnatural," like inserting genes from one animal into another so that you've got a rooster giving milk. Selective breeding is in its own way genetic modification, and I'd hardly say that careful animal husbandry is a bad thing. Some of the discoveries in animal science, like particular genetic markers responsible for the higher beta carotene content in both the tissues and milk of Channel Islands cattle (Guernseys and Jerseys), can be put to work through selective breeding so that certain strains of crossbred cattle feature better nutritional content or even how to deactivate it for better carcass sales of unneeded male offspring. Jersey bulls and steers will earn a much lower price at market than a similar-sized Holstein just because buyers don't like the yellow tint to the fat. Even backyard gardeners practice genetic modification through outcrossing prevention, else we'd have no delightful "heirloom" seed strains that give us purple tomatoes or snap beans that can manage to make sizable beans without the pod turning into a stringy mess.

tl;dr: I don't think GMO labeling is the independent solution to our food quality concerns.

[Reply #252 on:]

 ‡ Premier Place-gain:
               Beamer double-jumps both ShepherdofShark & Archonix into 44th place.

So the prophesy is fulfilled:  Beamer has finally jumped the shark...

[Reply #253 on:]

I had a dream last night I was on tour at the 20th Century Fox studios and I slipped away from the crowd and found an original copy of LATGS.  But it was called "Fry and the Genestalk". It was the same premise but it was Fry who got the tentacles.  And Leela sold the PE Ship and got tricked by the Magic Beans salesman who was voiced by Jon Hamm.

Then everyone berates Leela for messing up as the stalk grows.  Then a giant comes down and takes Fry away.  Leela vows to save him.  Bender wants to come, but Leela wants to do it alone.   She's about to go up the stalk and the Magic Beans salesman finds her and gives her back the PE Ship because he felt bad for swindling her.  She goes into the spaceship, flies to Momsanto, beats up the giant, Mom's sons, saves Fry (who was bound and gagged), calls the cops and has Mom arrested for her crimes.   Leela then blows up the castle.   It was like the ending to Police Story 2.

Matt and David saw what I did.  They told me it was that version of the episode they wanted to show, but they were stopped by the John Birch society who blackmailed them to make it about Leela getting tentacles and captured.   Because the John Birch society wanted Fry to be the hero.   So, I negotatied with Matt and David and they threw out the version that was shown, and replaced it with the one I found.  Then they made me an honorary writer for the comics.

I can no longer suspend my disbelief that Kurt is not a fake account, but maaan, this post is gold.

[Reply #254 on:]

I doubt he's a fake account. Bear in mind he's not just some guy who started posting recently and became a fad - he's been here since 2003. That'd be an awfully long time for a fake account to last without anyone discovering who was behind it, or if it even is a fake account.

[Reply #255 on:]

I've been here since 2003, and nobody's discovered who's behind ME yet.

[Reply #256 on:]

Drink a liter of water. You might be dehydrated.

I'd been getting constant headaches all year and it turns out I needed glasses... Let's hope it is just dehydration.

You can drink water with glasses. 

 That last one made me 

[Reply #257 on:]

Well played, Manwich. Well played...

[Reply #258 on:]

Just so you all know, Joeldy is making the rest of you look terrible.

Lookit Jemima, I'm gonna give you some examples of things I'd rather see than you offering up your oh-ho-ho-ho so relevant opinion of I compare to a fictional character on a defunct television sitcom:

Eat a light bulb,
Cut out my own lung and then eat that as well,
Sit through an entire episode of The View,
Make out with my own grandfather,
Experience the wonderful miracle of menstruation,
Jam a balloon into my urethra and then inflate it.

Am I getting through there, doll?

[Reply #259 on:]

Just so you all know, Joeldy is making the rest of you look terrible.

Even the beloved Jezzem?

[Reply #260 on:]

Especially the beloved Jezzem! But especially Bart.

[Reply #261 on:]

Oooh! Speaking of cockatoo handjobs, here's something from earlier this week I'd been meaning to post here:

This article has the greatest headline ever:

http://drum.co.za/news/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-child-and-wins/

At the risk of sounding like an After-School Special, I think we found out who the really ugly person is.








The baby.

BAM!

[Reply #262 on:]

I despised it.

[Reply #263 on:]

* SpacemanSpiff clicks on Test Thread

I just saw this after the trouble I caused.  It is to funny not be nominated.

[Reply #264 on:]

Yeah, that gave me a good chuckle at the time

[Reply #265 on:]

That applies to most things tnuk posts.  From what I can tell, It's rarely worth reading anyway.

Another deserving post.

[Reply #266 on:]

Eh. It wasn't a clever joke or witticism, so it doesn't deserve POTM, IMO.

There's no such thing as Post of the Month anyway. This thread is entirely pointless, and should be locked. People shouldn't be nominated just for one post.

[Reply #267 on:]

People are nominated for much more than a single post. They are nominated for the quality of their posts, how enjoyable they have been, and simply how outstanding they'd been throughout the month. This is simply a thread that showcases people's best or funniest posts, that people can use to get an idea of a certain user.
^{Edit: I love how pissed off this simple post made tnuk. That's the kind of thing that reminds me that I'm on an online forum.}

[Reply #268 on:]

There's no such thing as Post of the Month anyway. This thread is entirely pointless, and should be locked. People shouldn't be nominated just for one post.

People are nominated for much more than a single post.

Sometimes people get POTM nominations on the strength of a single late-in-the-month post that's of truly outstanding quality. Occasionally, people win POTM by making a single epic-level post that is the best thing PEEL has seen in that particular month.

Perhaps the pair of you ought to spend a little more time learning how PEEL actually works before abusing your keyboards.

Oh, and this thread isn't actually meant to contain anything apart from nominating posts. Any further responses, or quibbling on other topics related to POTM should probably be done in this thread. Or else you risk the displeasure of  futurefreak, ~FazeShift~, Xanfor and the fearsome ShepherdofShark (who will delete your posts, and any whining about it that you might engage in as a result).

Consider this a little friendly advice, both of you (and anybody else who was tempted to choke this thread up with further unnecessary bollocks).

[Reply #269 on:]

This thread is for posts that, in the eyes of the one reposting them here, make the person who posted them worthy of being nominated for Poster of the Month, regardless of whether they are eligible or worthy of being nominated for other reasons.

[Reply #270 on:]

the fearsome ShepherdofShark (who will delete your posts, and any whining about it that you might engage in as a result).

He'll also enjoy it. He did last time anyway. He also likes referring to himself in the the third person.

He also feels the need to edit the first post of this thread.

[Reply #271 on:]

Eh. It wasn't a clever joke or witticism, so it doesn't deserve POTM, IMO.

There's no such thing as Post of the Month anyway. This thread is entirely pointless, and should be locked. People shouldn't be nominated just for one post.

Actually we did have a Post of the Month for a short while.  I believe it was called Quote of the Month though.  Also, I think people don't generally have the attention span for that, and personally I'm not super happy with the magically status POTM has attained.  I probably argued for it to be moved onto its own board though, so fuck me, right?

[Reply #272 on:]

Honestly I've always viewed this thread as really having nothing to do with POTM. To me it's just a place for people to share really funny posts with people on this board who may not have been reading the thread it was posted in, and to congratulate the poster who wrote it for being funny. I would be surprised if this thread really has that much effect on who nominates who for POTM.

[Reply #273 on:]

Please remember that this thread is for quoted posts. Other posts are permitted in moderation, but if there get to be too many, they will be deleted regardless of whether they make a valid point.

[Reply #274 on:]

Good point, Josh. Many is the time I've linked to a thread I don't usually read because of a quote placed here.

Whether it has any bearing on nominations I couldn't say. I know I have used this thread in the past to basically remind myself of who I intend to nominate, by doing something about. You know like when you write down the time of an appointment not because you are going to refer to the note later but because the mere action of writing it down will make you remember.

We won't know for sure until we get the test back.

Now excuse me while I delete the post above me (dang! you beat me to it, Xan).

[Reply #275 on:]

winna dun hurted my brain again...

Even I don't save every picture, just the potentially embarrassing ones.

I save all of the pictures of each gendered Peeleretteer because I figure in the future when peel is winna and in winna is peel then all genders will want to know peel better through themselves those things diametrically opposed on a 45 degree angle rotated from a 2 dimensionally projected plane. 

Actually, I'm just going to spend about 10 years, pretending to recreate peel each post at a time on a remote server somewhere in Uruguay.

[Reply #276 on:]

Don't hold him the wrong way though, he might get a little Randi.

[Reply #277 on:]

I second with Beamy, I was pondering putting that in here too

[Reply #278 on:]

This little exchange made me lose my shit (unfortunately I did not have my camera present):

Since I'm having Thanksgiving at a restaurant this year I going to try cooking a turkey myself on Wednesday.    For sides I will try some mashed spuds and green beans with bacon.  

You just might see some before and after pics.

I'm ok with seeing pics of the bird before you eat it but I don't want to see it after.

[Reply #279 on:]

BUMP! This:

I think I mention this every time I pass through, but I made your avatar!

It’s not an easy thing to meet your maker.