Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread Harder

[#80 :]

Another quote from the "Forty Percent Leadbelly" review thread that I really enjoyed:

I mean,he is a great writter,but isn't a god either,people should stop to treat him like that,he can write more relaxed stuff than episodes about angst and science and this was a proof.

I just think "episodes about angst and science" is a great descriptor for the prototypical Ken Keeler episode (I am reminded of TKOS in particular).

[#81 :]

tnuk seems to be hogging this thread lately.

Perhaps it's a subtle allusion to the fact that Ellie is pretty much Joel's pokemon. He's Ash to her Pikachu, Misty to her Staryu, Brock to her Geodude. He's her trainer, and she is his protege. She's his companion and pet, deriving affection and protection from him. He goes to extraordinary lengths to ensure her safety, and ultimately cares too deeply about her welfare to let her be harmed by people who would like to exploit her.

Plus, just like Ash and Pikachu, he's probably going to rape her at some point.

[#82 :]

[#83 :]

I guess we haven't even considered what SOS's OS is.

What's SOS's OS?

Is SOS's OS MS-DOS?

What an OS for SOS!

Self-absorbed as I am, I found these to be quite apPEELing. Also they are fun to say 3 times fast.

[#84 :]

Hello guys. My new happiness. My baby daughter.

Post of the month is Juliet's post and picture of her and her new bundle of joy.  The contest is over.  Try again next month everyone.

[#85 :]

Saying one's religious identity is Christian is like saying one's racial identity is primate (in the case of archbishops, it could be both).

[#86 :]

This is my before and after work reading. Keep up the novel boys!

[#87 :]

Epic, Maz.  Simply epic!

I thought it was an American tradition, whereby if the bride finds out her husband-to-be has slept with one of her bridesmaids she may chase after him with a running chainsaw. If she lops off his head, she has her choice of groomsmen to marry in his place. If she chops off one of his limbs, she still has to marry the original groom but has her choice of groomsmen to sleep with for the duration of the marriage. If she only manages to scratch or otherwise non-lethally wound him she still has to marry him and doesn't get any other form of revenge. If she completely misses, the groom is allowed to chase after her with the chainsaw. The opposite to all this applies if the groom finds out the bride slept with one of his groomsmen, although in the sense of bros before hoes he will often forgive the groomsman if it is his best friend, in which case they will both be able to choose a bridesmaid to poke in the boob and run away laughing (after the chainsaw ritual has taken place).

Through which I mean to say; why wouldn't you have chainsaws at a wedding? From what I've heard, non-chainsaw weddings are rather boring.

[#88 :]

Oh sure, when Randi shows off her body, everyone stops and stares, but when I show my body, everyone's all like "OMG EW NIBBS PUT A SHIRT ON, GODDAMN YOU PASTY!"

We say that even when you don't show your body.

[#89 :]

Could you have been any more nerdy at that moment. It's almost...

Unreal...

[#90 :]

OK, I got it.  The best couple is...Zapp & his own mirror reflection.

[#91 :]

I don't think "demonic" is accurate gnomenclature.

Oh... sorry.... I meant demongic.

I see what you did there, win-din.

[#92 :]

....why did he take his shirt off? How very...erotic. I hope they lived happily ever after.

Trading card law: The rarer a card is, the cooler it has to be. Who's gonna buy dozens of packs and continuously throw away ones they already have in search of fucking Albert?

[#93 :]

It only happens very rarely, but often passes after about five minutes. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure. Just temporarily uncomfortable..

Your dad or mom is supposed to have a talk with you about how your body changes at your age.  It sounds like you're just manstruating.

Aww, maybe your dad will take you to the store to get your first box of manpons. Be sure to read the instructions and rest assured that a manpon can never get lost inside of your body.

[#94 :]

there are no neighbors standing on your porch shouting "Your chickens are in my yard again!" to disrupt you. 

So...your milkshake drives all the chickens from the yard?

[#95 :]

DrT and Josh. Two of PEEL's best and funniest posters...

George Zimmerman has been spotted for the first time since his acquittal, helping a family out of their rolled vehicle.

Is there going to be a trial to see if he caused the crash?

Only if it was a black SUV.

Turns out he had been following the car for miles despite the fire department advising him otherwise.

[#96 :]

Some commentary on the squabbling up-thread :

There's nothing wrong with constructive criticism, tnuk, but constant criticism is bound to get other PEELers backs up. And calling people idiots for enjoying the current run, or snidely asserting they're not "discerning in their tastes" is just rude. Your opinion is just that - your subjective opinion. Posting a graph which shows other people share your opinion does not make it the definitive opinion. Posting "you're wrong" in flashing red text doesn't make it the definitive opinion. Calling everyone who doesn't agree with you stupid and blind definitely doesn't make it the definitive opinion. It just makes you an asshole. And I'm a little sick of you lampshading your responses by claiming to be smarter / more invested in the show / more sarcastic than your opponent.

You think that those who disagree with you are generally wrong, and generally back away from the argument with egg on their face. That's a statement that's a little hard to swallow.

It's impossible for you or your opponent to be "right" in many of your arguments, because they often revolve around your attempts to prove your opinion is fact. You can state your opinion as exhaustively and as eloquently as you like, but that won't transmute it into fact. Your vocabulary alone suggests you're a smart guy, so it baffles me that you persist in this. You make a statement like "the new series was bad" and expect us to bow down to the unimpeachable power of the bold button and accept your opinion as fact. Unfortunately, it's easy to bold things. Anyone can do it! It adds no weight to your argument. If you want to state "the last series was bad" as your opinion, go ahead. But if you insist upon calling it fact, and getting snotty about everyone who doesn't agree, you're going to annoy people. It's poor forum etiquette, to say the least.

When you present your opinions rationally, I quite enjoy reading them. But I don't enjoy disagreeing with you (if merely reminding you your opinion is not fact can be called that   ). You think those you argue with have all retreated with "egg on their face" because you were winning the argument. Not true, I'm afraid. In my case, I got sick of your obfuscating text-dumping, and gave up trying to talk to you. It was boredom, and the happy reminder I had better things to do, that led to me abandoning the conversation. I'd wager I'm not the first. Bombarding your opponent with text and breaking out your best vocabulary doesn't make you right, it just makes you obnoxious - the metaphorical kid in the sandbox, screaming "MY CASTLE IS THE BEST!!" so loudly no-one else can be heard. You haven't won the argument, you've just exhausted everyone in range.

Friendly reminder : your opinion is not the word of God.

"Yeah, some people still really enjoy it. That's fine. They're allowed to. But I'm allowed by the same token to point out that this means they're about as discerning in their tastes as a hobo rummaging through a dumpster for his dinner."  -   No, you're not. You're allowed to say you don't enjoy it, but that doesn't give you carte blanche to insult everyone who does.

Your inability to respect a different opinion is just absurd now. As is your assumption that all praise for the new run is "blind". It isn't and you know it. There's a healthy mix of praise and concrit on PEEL, often within the same post. Just because posters praise things you didn't find praiseworthy, or have the audacity to declare they still love the show, doesn't mean their praise is "blind" or "undiscerning", or that they're witless berks. It just means they've committed the cardinal sin of having ( ) a different opinion to you. If you can't accept that, a forum is really the wrong place for you, and I suggest you replace PEEL with the sycophantic comfort of a mirror.

Nailed it. Full-on, nailed it.

[#97 :]

You would do the same thing, Freako.

No, he wouldn't.

If Freako did that, there'd be no towel, two octopi worth of tentacles, and Leela would be fourteen.

[#98 :]

I thought I was depressed, but it might have just been PMS

There's always next month, Randi. There's alwys next month.

[#99 :]

WOMEN!

I have been eating a few of them recently, actually. But I didn't know that, so thanks. It is going away a bit, too.

[#100 :]

Hey! Those were separate and in the wrong order!

[#101 :]

I suggest starting from the end slowly approaching 8th season until you reach the high point of Springfield Files. That should satisfy your need.

[#102 :]

PROLIFIC LIMB
This thing was everywhere!

C-

ACIDIC SIM

My phone is ruined.

A-

Arthritic Kim

Kind of painful

D+

Dramatic Trim

The most breathtaking story ever about a haircut.

A+

SCIENTIFIC HYMN

Quite the contradiction.

-√9 cos+

HORRIFIC SWIM

I paid $20 to see a scene from About Schmidt on an endless loop?!?!!

F-

I found this chain of posts far funnier than I probably should have.

[#103 :]

And the one that started it all:

SPECIFIC TIM

Tim wasn't general enough.

F

Then I needed to get in on this action:

TERRIFIC JIM

He's alright.

D#

I could wordplay with Beamer all day.

[#104 :]

I could wordplay with Beamer all day.

 

... Wait, wordplay isn't innuendo? But innuendo is wordplay! 

[#105 :]

Are you cheating on me with SpacedaSl11?

I actually quite like this one:

SEMANTIC WHIM

A two-hour rant about the absurdities of language.

F+

I made no such promise.

[#106 :]

Are you cheating on me with SpacedaSl11?

I caught you in bed with that beaker first!

[#107 :]

He's on to us Beaker!

[#108 :]

Beaker Beaker, rubber ducky's on your six, over.

Also, getting back on topic, M0le's contribution to the glorious dead horse beating of 2013 was quite clever:

THE PYRRHIC STIM

Was it worth the price I paid?

And I'm way more proud of this than I should be:

ILLICIT SKIM

I don't think that's milk...

B-

[#109 :]

Before breakfast each morning, I  wander the streets and lure 9 men back to my lair, where I crush their ballsacks and use the resulting delicious, sweet powder as a sweetener in my coffee. I then take their dick and add it to one of my beautiful dick necklaces (or, as I like to call them, dick-laces) and wear these dick-laces around to show my prowess as a hunter. 

[#110 :]

D'awwww, appreciation!

[#111 :]

I get it now. All those shirtless pics were to build up to the one and only (awesome) shirt you do own. I approve.

See, this guy gets it.

I really hope you don't have any awesome trousers...

[#112 :]

Newbies and diarrhea aren't exactly mutually exclusive.

[#113 :]

If it was in a PM then I'm guessing it's tnuk.

I was thinking him...if it weren't for that last line. Look at it - the three ellipses, followed by a space, followed by a capital A. Something like that would drive him insane.

Does he go into convulsions as well?  It could be...Epilipsisy.

New kitten yayay!

Me and new kitten

I went round to my parents to play with her. She was rather shy at first but then came out of her shell a bit. What I didn't realise (having lived in the house for 2 years) was that there was a hole in the wall behind the family pc. She decided to climb in and fall the other side, in between the two houses I assume. At this point it was like being in a horror movie kind off. You hear of those stories of cats getting stuck between walls and such so I was kind of freaking out. She tried to get out a few times to no avail. She managed to get her paws underneath her head but again couldn't move so I quickly grabbed her head and pulled her out. To probably the biggest relief I've felt. Scared wasn't even the word. But all is good now

[#114 :]

Idk why but this cracked me up;

Some women prefer not to sit and instead they crouch/squat over the toilet and just fire away at it.

[#115 :]

Last night a bus assaulted me, poured illegal drugs into my mouth and forced me to swallow them, and then cut me.

That's a Trav-olt-esty!

Oh my goodness, please don't leave again.
(bolting would be a Traboltesty).

[#116 :]

You left out your line of Travolta puns which set that up... Am I gonna have to fire you again?

[#117 :]

Wellm one cannot really put one's own gems in here..  gemful as they may be..  What am I, Nibblonian Leader?!..  YOU COULD HAVE CERTAINLY STUCK THEM IN THOUGH
()

heh no that's okay, no one like ever puts anything of mine in here, ever

[#118 :]

Idk why but this cracked me up;

Some women prefer not to sit and instead they crouch/squat over the toilet and just fire away at it.

The thing is that it's not a joke. This is really how things work. Many women just point their back end at the toilet and whatever happens happens. Then they wipe up and flee the scene, leaving a befouled toilet that no other woman would voluntarily plunk her butt onto. Thus the great circle of filth continues.

[#119 :]

Ah yes, as a musician I've studied the circle of filths quite a bit.