Come on, Bender, jack a grab.

[#720 :]

Fry: Okay, self. I don't get paid for a few days. If I trick myself into thinking that I'm eating a muffin and drinking coffee, maybe my stomach will believe it!

*proceeds to accidentally chomp on own hand*

Fry: Ow! Self, you're not cooperating!

EDIT: TOTPD? Don't mind if I do!

[#721 :]

Fry: You secretly replaced my coffee with dilithium crystals?  That doesn't even make sense.

[#722 :]

 

Originally posted by JBERGES:

"So I told Leela and Amy how the two of them could make some serious money on the Internet using just this cup and some natural body functions... and they both beat me up!"

[#723 :]

Fry: Whadya mean, 'I am, therefore I think'? You're putting de Horace before Descartes!

[#724 :]

Fry: Starbucks!?! You got me coffee from Starbucks!?!
Bender: Yes, you go out and get your own damn coffee next time, lardbrain.

[#725 :]

Fry: What? If vampires can drink human blood why can't I?!!

[#726 :]

 

Originally posted by Xanfor:
Fry: Whadya mean, 'I am, therefore I think'? You're putting de Horace before Descartes!

*stuffy, bookish chuckle*   

[#727 :]

 

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
 "So I told Leela and Amy how the two of them could make some serious money on the Internet using just this cup and some natural body functions... and they both beat me up!"

OH GOD NO!! KILL IT KILL IT!!!!!

Anywho,

Fry: "Ok so the kid's nuts I get that, but what's with the giant rabbit?"

[#728 :]

Fry: "...but whenever I pour something in it, it soaks it right up. Stupid maxipad-brand cups."

[#729 :]

Fry: What's wrong with drinking recycled coffee?  CMMMONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

[#730 :]

Fry:  All I said was I think the claims about Global Warming may be exaggerated.  You didn't have to nominate me for execution at the Cube...

[#731 :]

Fry: Hey, this is the best coffee I ever had! Where'd you get this? *looks at cup* Stool Som-Play, huh? Sounds fancy.

[#732 :]

WHY do two seperate answers involve poo-in-a-cup...  in completely different contexts?! You're all sick, disgusting, amusing people. 

I feel like I always pick Coldangel or DrT... 

That said, DrT wins.

[#733 :]

Woo!  Everyone else can cram it into their cups and poop on it!

[#734 :]

Fry: Don't let Edna know I'm here...!

Edna: What are you looking at, Zoidberg?

Zoidberg: Fry! He's hiding in this shell, he is!

Fry: D'Oh!

[#735 :]

Zoidberg:Hello, I am a human male, why not?

Fry: Woob-woob-woob-woob!

Fry and Zoidberg soon became bored with exchanging roles.

[#736 :]

Zoidberg *to Edna*: The Police, you say...? Where...? "Just up there" you say...?

[#737 :]

Mike Rowe: (narrating) Modern crab fishing has evolved along with the crabs themselves. Instead of luring crabs into pots at the bottom of the ocean, today's crab fishermen often set elaborate traps involving card board cutouts of potential mates and decoy shells...

[#738 :]

Zoidberg: Edna, you got to be patient with Fry.  Give him time to come out of his shell.

[#739 :]

Zoidberg: Fry says it'll just be a few more minutes. Apparently he found some vittles for all of us in there!

 

Originally posted by Bender'sRevenge:
Mike Rowe: (narrating) Modern crab fishing has evolved along with the crabs themselves. Instead of luring crabs into pots at the bottom of the ocean, today's crab fishermen often set elaborate traps involving card board cutouts of potential mates and decoy shells...

FUCKING WIN.

[#740 :]

Fry: What'd she say?

Zoidberg: She said come on up and bring my friend in the cute female shell too.

Fry: Huh?

Zoidberg: She likes to watch first.

Fry: Huh?!?

[#741 :]

Thought I had it for sure with the Donnie Darko reference.

Zoidberg: "See you later Edna.......Fry? What are you doing under there?"

Fry: (whispering) "Shhhh! I'm hiding from the PEELers. They started doing this thing with me and a cup and.....(shivers) trust me you don't wana know."

[#742 :]

Fry: All I got was a stuffy, bookish chuckle. I'm never showing intellect again.

[#743 :]

Fry: This is the stupidest thing I've ever done, Zoidberg.  Can't you think of anything original to say without being fed lines like an idiotic, overpaid actor?

Zoidberg: Quiet!  Here she comes, why not...

Edna: Zoideypoo!  Why's that shell talking to you?

Fry: OK, that's it!  I've had enough of this crap; you can seduce your own women!

Zoidberg: I'll Kill You!

[#744 :]

   

Originally posted by Tornadoboy:

Originally posted by Bender'sRevenge:
Mike Rowe: (narrating) Modern crab fishing has evolved along with the crabs themselves. Instead of luring crabs into pots at the bottom of the ocean, today's crab fishermen often set elaborate traps involving card board cutouts of potential mates and decoy shells...
 

FUCKING WIN.

[scruffy] Second! [/scruffy]

[#745 :]

Edna: Get lost, Zoidberg, or I'll sic my guard shellfish on you!

Fry: Grrrrrrrr!

[#746 :]

Zoidberg: Hey, Edna! You know that romance novel where the hero cures the heroine's father of his hermit crab delusion? Can I borrow it?

[#747 :]

Zoidberg:  Hey, Fry.  What song should I play as a serenade to Edna?

Fry:  Try "Man in the Corner" by Genesis!  Chicks love that song!

Zoidberg:  Nah, that doesn't sound so good, I'll do "Dream Lover" on my guitar instead!

Fry:  No! 

Zoidberg:  Why not?

Fry:  I have no problem with the song, it's just that you suck at guitar! 

[#748 :]

Benedr (OS):  OK, now Fry runs around for a bit, then you guess which one he's under.  Money up front please!

[#749 :]

This was a really tough one.  LOL propz fly out to LayZ, coldy, and JBERGES, but the winner is Bender'sRevenge.

[#750 :]

Coolio!  Much love and appreciation to all the early precinct returns for me.  I'm glad the super delegate agreed. 



(Insta-win to whoever comes up with what I'm thinking for this one...)

[#751 :]

Fry: Okay, so the tune didn't come out quite right on the holophonor this time. I'll sing it instead! *sings what he was previously playing in a hideously off-key voice*

Leela: Oh god, no. I guess I'll have to overpower you! *starts singing, veering between angelic and off-key trying to drown out Fry*

[#752 :]

OK, the 'it happens to lots of guys' angle seems to be a bit too obvious here...
______________

Zapp (OS):  What and or who are you doing in my holoshed!!  Stop runnning program Zapp_1!

Fry:  This is Zapp_2!

Zapp (OS): They're all the same!

[#753 :]

Fry: (walking into Leela's room) Hey, Leela, do you still have some of that pizza left from......

Fry slips on a piece of ice and falls over backwards and lands on Leela's bed.

Leela: (sighs in disgust).  Akward idiot!  Can't even stand on his own two feet! 

[#754 :]

Fry & Leela: I'm walking on sunshine...

[#755 :]

This is going to be pretty bad. 

Fry: Oh yeah, its all my fault. You act like I have total control and pin point accuracy. I'm sorry about your eye, but I can't control where it falls.

[#756 :]

Fry: Please Leela, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop singing; my eardrums are EXPLODING!

[#757 :]

After several hours Fry realized he simply didn't have Leela's stamina.

Leela: (sighs contentedly) "That was great. Up for another round?"

Fry: (panting) "Are you serious?"

Leela: "Sure why not?"

Fry: "Damnit woman I can't do it, I don't have the power!!"

[#758 :]

Fry: ...and now I come home to find you wearing my stuff!

[#759 :]

Fry: Now, why don't you slip out of something a little more comfortable, heh-heh-heh...OH MY GOD!!!

Leela: [guilt-stricken] I wanted to tell you so many times...it's not just an eye I have only one of...