Come on, Bender, jack a grab.

[Reply #720 on:]

Fry: Okay, self. I don't get paid for a few days. If I trick myself into thinking that I'm eating a muffin and drinking coffee, maybe my stomach will believe it!

*proceeds to accidentally chomp on own hand*

Fry: Ow! Self, you're not cooperating!

EDIT: TOTPD? Don't mind if I do!

[Reply #721 on:]

Fry: You secretly replaced my coffee with dilithium crystals?  That doesn't even make sense.

[Reply #722 on:]

 

Originally posted by JBERGES:

"So I told Leela and Amy how the two of them could make some serious money on the Internet using just this cup and some natural body functions... and they both beat me up!"

[Reply #723 on:]

Fry: Whadya mean, 'I am, therefore I think'? You're putting de Horace before Descartes!

[Reply #724 on:]

Fry: Starbucks!?! You got me coffee from Starbucks!?!
Bender: Yes, you go out and get your own damn coffee next time, lardbrain.

[Reply #725 on:]

Fry: What? If vampires can drink human blood why can't I?!!

[Reply #726 on:]

 

Originally posted by Xanfor:
Fry: Whadya mean, 'I am, therefore I think'? You're putting de Horace before Descartes!

*stuffy, bookish chuckle*   

[Reply #727 on:]

 

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
 "So I told Leela and Amy how the two of them could make some serious money on the Internet using just this cup and some natural body functions... and they both beat me up!"

OH GOD NO!! KILL IT KILL IT!!!!!

Anywho,

Fry: "Ok so the kid's nuts I get that, but what's with the giant rabbit?"

[Reply #728 on:]

Fry: "...but whenever I pour something in it, it soaks it right up. Stupid maxipad-brand cups."

[Reply #729 on:]

Fry: What's wrong with drinking recycled coffee?  CMMMONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

[Reply #730 on:]

Fry:  All I said was I think the claims about Global Warming may be exaggerated.  You didn't have to nominate me for execution at the Cube...

[Reply #731 on:]

Fry: Hey, this is the best coffee I ever had! Where'd you get this? *looks at cup* Stool Som-Play, huh? Sounds fancy.

[Reply #732 on:]

WHY do two seperate answers involve poo-in-a-cup...  in completely different contexts?! You're all sick, disgusting, amusing people. 

I feel like I always pick Coldangel or DrT... 

That said, DrT wins.

[Reply #733 on:]

Woo!  Everyone else can cram it into their cups and poop on it!

[Reply #734 on:]

Fry: Don't let Edna know I'm here...!

Edna: What are you looking at, Zoidberg?

Zoidberg: Fry! He's hiding in this shell, he is!

Fry: D'Oh!

[Reply #735 on:]

Zoidberg:Hello, I am a human male, why not?

Fry: Woob-woob-woob-woob!

Fry and Zoidberg soon became bored with exchanging roles.

[Reply #736 on:]

Zoidberg *to Edna*: The Police, you say...? Where...? "Just up there" you say...?

[Reply #737 on:]

Mike Rowe: (narrating) Modern crab fishing has evolved along with the crabs themselves. Instead of luring crabs into pots at the bottom of the ocean, today's crab fishermen often set elaborate traps involving card board cutouts of potential mates and decoy shells...

[Reply #738 on:]

Zoidberg: Edna, you got to be patient with Fry.  Give him time to come out of his shell.

[Reply #739 on:]

Zoidberg: Fry says it'll just be a few more minutes. Apparently he found some vittles for all of us in there!

 

Originally posted by Bender'sRevenge:
Mike Rowe: (narrating) Modern crab fishing has evolved along with the crabs themselves. Instead of luring crabs into pots at the bottom of the ocean, today's crab fishermen often set elaborate traps involving card board cutouts of potential mates and decoy shells...

FUCKING WIN.

[Reply #740 on:]

Fry: What'd she say?

Zoidberg: She said come on up and bring my friend in the cute female shell too.

Fry: Huh?

Zoidberg: She likes to watch first.

Fry: Huh?!?

[Reply #741 on:]

Thought I had it for sure with the Donnie Darko reference.

Zoidberg: "See you later Edna.......Fry? What are you doing under there?"

Fry: (whispering) "Shhhh! I'm hiding from the PEELers. They started doing this thing with me and a cup and.....(shivers) trust me you don't wana know."

[Reply #742 on:]

Fry: All I got was a stuffy, bookish chuckle. I'm never showing intellect again.

[Reply #743 on:]

Fry: This is the stupidest thing I've ever done, Zoidberg.  Can't you think of anything original to say without being fed lines like an idiotic, overpaid actor?

Zoidberg: Quiet!  Here she comes, why not...

Edna: Zoideypoo!  Why's that shell talking to you?

Fry: OK, that's it!  I've had enough of this crap; you can seduce your own women!

Zoidberg: I'll Kill You!

[Reply #744 on:]

   

Originally posted by Tornadoboy:

Originally posted by Bender'sRevenge:
Mike Rowe: (narrating) Modern crab fishing has evolved along with the crabs themselves. Instead of luring crabs into pots at the bottom of the ocean, today's crab fishermen often set elaborate traps involving card board cutouts of potential mates and decoy shells...
 

FUCKING WIN.

[scruffy] Second! [/scruffy]

[Reply #745 on:]

Edna: Get lost, Zoidberg, or I'll sic my guard shellfish on you!

Fry: Grrrrrrrr!

[Reply #746 on:]

Zoidberg: Hey, Edna! You know that romance novel where the hero cures the heroine's father of his hermit crab delusion? Can I borrow it?

[Reply #747 on:]

Zoidberg:  Hey, Fry.  What song should I play as a serenade to Edna?

Fry:  Try "Man in the Corner" by Genesis!  Chicks love that song!

Zoidberg:  Nah, that doesn't sound so good, I'll do "Dream Lover" on my guitar instead!

Fry:  No! 

Zoidberg:  Why not?

Fry:  I have no problem with the song, it's just that you suck at guitar! 

[Reply #748 on:]

Benedr (OS):  OK, now Fry runs around for a bit, then you guess which one he's under.  Money up front please!

[Reply #749 on:]

This was a really tough one.  LOL propz fly out to LayZ, coldy, and JBERGES, but the winner is Bender'sRevenge.

[Reply #750 on:]

Coolio!  Much love and appreciation to all the early precinct returns for me.  I'm glad the super delegate agreed. 



(Insta-win to whoever comes up with what I'm thinking for this one...)

[Reply #751 on:]

Fry: Okay, so the tune didn't come out quite right on the holophonor this time. I'll sing it instead! *sings what he was previously playing in a hideously off-key voice*

Leela: Oh god, no. I guess I'll have to overpower you! *starts singing, veering between angelic and off-key trying to drown out Fry*

[Reply #752 on:]

OK, the 'it happens to lots of guys' angle seems to be a bit too obvious here...
______________

Zapp (OS):  What and or who are you doing in my holoshed!!  Stop runnning program Zapp_1!

Fry:  This is Zapp_2!

Zapp (OS): They're all the same!

[Reply #753 on:]

Fry: (walking into Leela's room) Hey, Leela, do you still have some of that pizza left from......

Fry slips on a piece of ice and falls over backwards and lands on Leela's bed.

Leela: (sighs in disgust).  Akward idiot!  Can't even stand on his own two feet! 

[Reply #754 on:]

Fry & Leela: I'm walking on sunshine...

[Reply #755 on:]

This is going to be pretty bad. 

Fry: Oh yeah, its all my fault. You act like I have total control and pin point accuracy. I'm sorry about your eye, but I can't control where it falls.

[Reply #756 on:]

Fry: Please Leela, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop singing; my eardrums are EXPLODING!

[Reply #757 on:]

After several hours Fry realized he simply didn't have Leela's stamina.

Leela: (sighs contentedly) "That was great. Up for another round?"

Fry: (panting) "Are you serious?"

Leela: "Sure why not?"

Fry: "Damnit woman I can't do it, I don't have the power!!"

[Reply #758 on:]

Fry: ...and now I come home to find you wearing my stuff!

[Reply #759 on:]

Fry: Now, why don't you slip out of something a little more comfortable, heh-heh-heh...OH MY GOD!!!

Leela: [guilt-stricken] I wanted to tell you so many times...it's not just an eye I have only one of...