Come on, Bender, jack a grab.

[:]

 

Frisco's grab:

Leela: We're just saying the "Andy Sipowicz Guide to Style" probably isn't the best book on the subject.
Fry: But it was the thinnest.

[#1 :]

Leela: You're in charge today just because you're the Professor's Uncle.

Fry: Works for me (burrrp!). What's you're beef?

Leela: I found out that that Dr. Zoidberg and Amy make way more than I do. I mean com'mon I'm a county certified starship captain, she's just an intern.

Fry: Well, the good doctor here keeps me supplied with happy pills.

Dr. Z.: Wahoo!

Leela: But Amy? I mean com'mon! I'm a county certified starship captain, she's just an intern.

Fry: Oh, well... Amy puts out.

[#2 :]

Leela: Fry, wearing a shirt and tie doesn't automatically make you more mature.

Zoidberg: Actually, several medical-type studies have shown that it does!

Amy: Yeah, I think they were the same ones that said boots and spandex make you bossy.

Leela: *nudges Amy off the edge of the table*

[#3 :]

Fry: ..And then I told those so called "stock holders" what else they could hold. They threatened to sell and I said "Go ahead, its a buyers market anyways!" I'm the boss I know what I'm doing. And if I don't, it doesn't matter cause I'm the BOSS.

Leela: *sighs*

[#4 :]

Leela: Fry, while your attempt to be more responsible is cute, it won't mean anything if we don't go deliver today's package.
Fry: Ah, can't we just leave it for the night crew?
Leela: There isn't a night crew...
Amy: Unless you count Zoidberg.
Fry: Yeah!  Make Zoidberg do it!
Zoidberg opens his mouth to object but is cutoff by Leela
Leela: No, it's our jo...  Actually, if Zoidberg did it, I could go deordorize my boots.
Amy: And I could go get the facial and colonic irrigation I've been meaning to do.
Fry: And I could go watch TV or something!
Leela: Yeah, Zoidberg, stop being so lazy and get back to work!
Leela, Fry, and Amy all leave giving Zoidberg dirty looks.
Zoidberg: (hangs head) Aaoooh...

[#5 :]

Fry:  Hi, guys.  Anyone care to join me for a beer?

Leela:  Fry, that's not a beer you're drinking!

Fry:  Yes it is.  It says so on the bottle.

Amy:  Looks can be deceiving.   

Leela:  Just because it looks like a beer bottle, doesn't mean it is.

Fry:  Okay, then, what am I drinking then?

Zoidberg:  You're drinking robot oil! 

Fry:  *spits*! *gag*! *retch*!

Amy:  We told you so! 

Fry runs out of the room, Zoidberg goes after him.

Zoidberg:  Wait up, Fry!  I'm a doctor!  I'll get you some ipecac! 

 

[#6 :]

Leela: Fry, you put on a tie and turned your room into an office. That doesn't make you a business owner.
Fry: Well, I've seen it on TV before. All I have to do is say I own a company, and watch people complain. Then I'll be rich!
Leela: Yes, but you can't do that if you don't have employees first.

[#7 :]

Thanks for making a new thread Doc.

Futz's and Sine Wave's are both hilarious but I declare the winner to be.....Sine Wave because I could actually see that one happening.

[#8 :]

[#9 :]

Fry: This place is pretty nice. What's the rent?
Guy: Oh, you do'nt need to pay rent. Just provide your... services... monthly.
Fry: Wow, great! ... Hey wait, i see where you're looking at me buddy.
Guy: Ohh, um...
Fry: I know I have great shoes, but if  they're what you want, they're not for sale.

[#10 :]

Bender: Wait! What's that purple spot on the wall?
Guy: What purple-- it's never been there before...
Leela: Oh, that's me.
Bender: Oh, now I see you. Your ugly jacket blended into these ugly walls. {to Guy} It brings the place character.

[#11 :]

Guy: Sir, will your girlfriend be moving in too?

Leela: Come on Fry, lets go.  You don't want to buy an apartment from a crazy man.

[#12 :]

Leela: You know flirting with Fry wont get me to buy this appartment.
Guy: You want to buy this appartment? I should get the other associate then.
Fry: Other associate? Pfff, can't handle a lady like Leela.
Bender: Fry you better get away from him unless your interested in guys. My Gaydar is going nuts!

[#13 :]

Fry: I get the feeling you don't want to rent to us.

Guy: Um, er...

Leela: Oh, boy. Here we go again.

Guy: We prefer to rent to a more, ah... typical clientel. Three people just isn't a normal family unit. If you just had one or two more life forms in your group, or a donkey.

Fry: Maybe Dr. Zoid-...

Bender, Leela: No!

Guy: I'm sorry.

[#14 :]

Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

[#15 :]

Agent: ...Then they stripped me of my gold jacket when I gave away the three secrets of real estate.
Fry: You mean, "Location, location, location"?
Agent: You don't have to rub it in.

[#16 :]

Realtor: I'm glad you all like it.  It's just too bad...
Leela: Too bad about what?
Realtor: What...?  I wasn't going to say anything about the previous tenants being torn to shreds in their sleep by the murderous phantom that lives in the basement!
Fry: By torn to shreds, do you mean enough so they won't come back as zombies?
Realtor: No, there was enough of them left to haunt the halls at night.
Bender: Damn, we almost found the perfect apartment...

[#17 :]

LayZ341 wins.

[#18 :]

[#19 :]

Amy: "Zoiberg's gonna be sooo mad. HEHEHE"

Fry: "HAHAHA. Yeah, I can't believe we got away with the eggs."

Amy: "Wait. These are Zoidbergs eggs right?"

Fry: "Yeah."

Amy: "But Zoidberg's a male. So how did....."

Fry and Amy: "GAAAAAHHHH!" (Throws eggs)

[#20 :]

Fry: Wow, Amy!  This is a really hard grab to caption!
Amy: Spluh!  It's suppose to be difficult.
Uncomfortable silence.
Fry: While we're waiting for someone to write something funny, wanna make out?
Amy: Sure, but if someone catches us, you were just helping find the contact lens I swallowed.
Fry: Wouldn't be the first time...

[#21 :]

Fry: See, told ya!

Amy: You were right. We've been in here three whole days and no one's bugged us.

Fry & Amy: Hee, hee, snicker...

Hermes: (Through door.) Good morning Professor, Happy Monday.

[#22 :]

Fry: So, when Hermes comes in to get a can of stapler chow, we hit him with these water balloons.
Amy: Yeah, he'll get the supplies...the supplies of his rife!
Fry: Wait a minute, is that cool?
Amy: Spluh, I'm Chinese.  I'm allowed to do Chinese stereotypes.
Fry: Hmm...maybe we should check with Chinese Jesse Jackson.

[#23 :]

Fry and Amy find Hermes's 'secret stash.'

[#24 :]

^He wins.

[#25 :]

I don't get it...Please don't hit me.

[#26 :]

Stash = probably the stuff Hermes had to flush.

[#27 :]

Indeed. Also, I'm going to be gone for a week as of Friday, so if I do happen to win someone else can take it.

[#28 :]

Frisco17 wins.

[#29 :]

AAAHAHAHA! Bask in my reflected glory mortals. Anyway here we go.

[#30 :]

This ought to draw him out of his shell

[#31 :]

Bender: *beeps and whistles like R2-D2*

Fry: "Leela, it's not right to make bender humiliate himself by making him do impressions for beer."

Zoidberg: "Why not?  The robut does it to me all the time!"

[#32 :]

Fry: Jeez Leela, I never saw Bender recoil from a beer before. What did you do?

Leela: He's just embrassed. He didn't know all bending units are equipped with a bottle opener. I guess I startled him when I used it.

Fry: Gosh, I don't see it. Is it on his head?

Leela: Other end.

[#33 :]

Fry: What's the matter with Bender?

Leela: He must have walked in on us having sex last night and went into shock.  Come on Bender, there's a nice beer for you if you come out.

Bender: (muffled) No!  What I saw wasn't natural!  You know how I feel about shifting paradigms!

[#34 :]

Not gonna decide until I see a few more but Futz and Bender'sRevenge are neck and neck. Both freakin' hilarious.

[#35 :]

Fry: See?  I came in and found Bender all shrinky and flaccid.  What should we do?
Leela: Don't worry, we'll give him some robot Viagra.  He'll be be back in 40 minutes.

[#36 :]

The Z-List celebrity cast of Futurama tried to make a little extra money by agreeing to promote domestic beer on a SuperBowl commercial, but Bender developed an unexpected bout of stage fright...

Leela: When we get back from a long space mission, there's nothing better than a cool refreshing bottle of..."

Director: (off camera) Cut! Cut! The robot's hiding inside his own torso again...

Fry: Bender, come on... you've been on TV lots of times.

Bender: (muffled) But I haven't got my makeup on...!

[#37 :]

Fry:  What's wrong, Bender?

Bender:  Flexo beat me at a game of ping pong and disgraced me all television! 

Leela:  Here's something that will make you feel better, how about a beer?

Bender:  No!  I'm never showing my face in public again!  I'll just spend the rest of my life as a sober hermit!

Leela:  You need beer!  Why don't you challange Flexo to a rematch?

Fry:  She's right!  If you beat him you can get your revenge!

Bender:  No!  Never!  Go away!  (sobbing)

Zoidberg:  And you people think I have issues! 

[#38 :]

The winner is Bender'sRevenge.

[#39 :]

I will have my revenge on Bender'sRevenge!