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Author Topic: I Don't Read the Reviews, The Reviews Read Me!  (Read 19108 times)
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any1else

Space Pope
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« Reply #600 on: 06-02-2009 15:14 »

That woman needs a holiday.

Observe and Report

Yeah..okay. Wasn't as bad as it sounded. Anna Farris somehow made herself look ugly, which was right for the part I suppose. The woman who played Nell looked so familiar but looking at her filmography she's only been minor characters in two things that's I've seen and I don't remember her in them. The trailers before the movie had more laughs. Looking forward to I Love You, Man on Friday.

C
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #601 on: 06-02-2009 16:55 »

@Mole: That's a D? You'd think a decomposed corpse holding a baby would only be warranted for some kind of Super F.
Gopher

Fallback Guy
Space Pope
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« Reply #602 on: 06-02-2009 19:08 »

If it got an F, presumably the baby would also be a decomposed corpse.
chay´s head

Space Pope
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« Reply #603 on: 06-03-2009 03:19 »
« Last Edit on: 06-03-2009 03:20 »

any1: Did you think it kind of looked like this chick: Kristen Wiig?

EDIT: Hmm, they don't really look the same, but i remember thinking she looked like someone too..

Also, I Love You, Man is fucking awesome. Much much MUCH better than observe and report.
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #604 on: 06-03-2009 04:43 »

If it got an F, presumably the baby would also be a decomposed corpse.

Touché.
gudbjorg

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #605 on: 06-04-2009 16:33 »

I saw Terminator Salvation yesterday. I thought it was good, not great, but very watchable.
chay´s head

Space Pope
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« Reply #606 on: 06-05-2009 04:48 »

Terminator Salvation


It was okay. I was entertained and not bored at any stage. The comments about Sam Worthington stealing the show from Christian Bale aren't true in my opinion. I think they both had good performances (not AMAZING), but but they both seemed as good as one another. Liked the bikes.
i_c_weiner

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #607 on: 06-05-2009 05:01 »

Terminator Salvation

I'll agree that it was very entertaining. Not exactly T2 quality work here, but very enjoyable. Chay, Worthington did steal the show form Bale. Bale's performance was pretty meh compared to the range showed by Worthington. Howard was meh, but I have to say that the best performance other than Worthington was Helena Boneham Carter; now there's a show stealer! And I liked the Schwarzenegger T800 at the end.
I'll give it a B- (near a 65% on my scale, I would give it a 60 on Rotten Tomatoes). Decently good, but not fantastic at all.
Gorky

Space Pope
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« Reply #608 on: 06-07-2009 03:57 »

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

I had absolutely no desire to see this movie--I think that's true of anyone above the age of six--but I went out with a few friends last night and this was what we wound up seeing. I've never seen the first movie, but that doesn't really matter, since I figure it's just as mindless as this sequel.

It wasn't horrible, per se, but it was pretty freaking stupid. And the supposedly climactic final battle went on forever (although it did utilize Abe Lincoln as a deus ex machina, which was kind of impressive), and there were maybe three decent jokes in the entire movie, and the whole Ben-Stiller-falls-in-love-with-Amelia-Earhart thing was just kind of sad. In fact, the whole movie's pretty sad, when you consider its premise: lonely, unsatisfied guy talks to museum exhibits, displays a deep desire to bone one of them, and risks his life to save a miniature Owen Wilson (who's decked out like a cowboy, just for the record).

There was a pretty cool visual where Stiller and Amy Adams were inside V-J Day in Times Square, and Hank Azaria and Robin Williams were kind of funny (so was Amy Adams, actually, though she and Ben Stiller had zilch going on in the chemistry department). But overall, the only thing I liked about the movie was how much it enabled me to be an obnoxious jerk; I mocked plot points and dialogue as I saw fit. Which meant I was talkin' more than listenin'.

C (As if it matters...)
M0le

Space Pope
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« Reply #609 on: 06-07-2009 09:36 »
« Last Edit on: 06-07-2009 09:43 »

I'm watching the opening credits of Carrie and I'm liking what Brian de Palma is doing with his cinematography!

Yep, a lot. smile

EDIT: NOW I AM SUDDENLY FILLED WITH HATE AND FEAR FOR SOMETHING I CAN NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND AS A MALE!!! AGH, AGH, AGH, STOP IT!  mad mad mad
any1else

Space Pope
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« Reply #610 on: 06-07-2009 17:18 »

any1: Did you think it kind of looked like this chick: Kristen Wiig?
No...not really...but yeah, she does remind me of somebody. Probably me in a former life.

Quote
Also, I Love You, Man is fucking awesome. Much much MUCH better than observe and report.
I concur. Finally saw it tonight, after my boyfriend pulled a muscle in his back on Thursday morning (getting out of the shower? What a wuss) so we couldn't go on Friday. I guilted him into it today. But I win because it was most amusing and we both have a crush on Jason Segel which was satisfied. I identified with Paul Rudd's character because he always said really awkward things and was giving Sydney a new nickname every time they spoke.

Maz's Memorable Moments:

- Peter's dad being 'best friends' with his gay son, when the character he played in Oz was a homophobic hypocrite.

- "And it smells like fart."

- The jerk-off station. In fact, the whole man cave. I know I'm not a guy but I'd love something like that. Reminded me of this beer commercial from a few years back. I loved that idea. They sound so 'Aussie'...

And best of all:
- "Why does everything I do sound like a leprechaun?"

Everyone from the American version of The Office seems to be doing movies all of a sudden. I knew I recognised B.J. Novak in the preview for Inglorious Basterds. They only showed him very briefly. Heh, 'B.J.'
km73

Space Pope
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« Reply #611 on: 06-07-2009 17:27 »

Oh, man, Carrie.
*cringes*
Excellent, excellent quintessential 70s horror.

I'm watching the opening credits of Carrie and I'm liking what Brian de Palma is doing with his cinematography!

Yeah. That atmospheric style of filming just contributes to the overall creepiness and brooding sense of foreboding.                 Not to mention the music in that movie, as well.
Dressed to Kill is creepy, too.

Ooh, but check out 1973's Sisters, also; I think that was his first film, and similarly stylized, interesting and gory.
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
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« Reply #612 on: 06-08-2009 00:59 »
« Last Edit on: 06-08-2009 01:47 »

Up

It was one of Pixar's middle of the road movies like ratatouille (it wasn't good, it wasn't bad). Wall-E was better and wasn't as predictable as this movie. I didn't like dug that much. C+

Taken...

a dump. I didn't like it.

Fanboys

It was a really cute and funny pointless movie about Star Wars. B

Gorky

Space Pope
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« Reply #613 on: 06-08-2009 04:28 »
« Last Edit on: 06-08-2009 04:29 »

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

I've wanted to see this movie since it first came out in theaters (which probably says something bad about me personally), so I guess I had high expectations. And they were met, mostly--this movie was hilarious. Dirty as sin, but hilarious. It's the first Kevin Smith movie I've seen in its entirety (I've seen parts of Clerks), and I get that it's Kevin Smith Lite, but I did think the dialogue was particularly brilliant. I think I've gotta get my hands on some of his other, less conventional stuff. Not to say that this movie was conventional, but it did succumb to a few cliches.

I will say, though, that I can't help but picture Smith having a schizoid argument with himself, along the lines of "You got earnest romantic comedy in my raunchy sex movie/No, you got raunchy sex movie in my earnest romantic comedy." Which is to say that, for all the dirty pretense, there's also a sweetness to the movie. Granted, it's of the forced, friends-have-sex-and-then-it's-weird-afterwards-'cause-they've-secretly-been-in-love-(albeit-not-to-their-knowledge)-for-years variety. But Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks (who, somehow, convinced me that they had romantic chemistry) are just hysterical, and so dang loveable; they make it work. (I mean, anyone who can convince me that having sex with Seth Rogen could be an enjoyable experience is a great actor.)

Also: Justin Long is hysterical. And Brandon Routh is yummy. And they both should've been in the movie a bit more (but at least they have about a half-hour of deleted scenes devoted to them on the DVD).

A
BirthdayClown

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #614 on: 06-08-2009 07:46 »

Quote from: hojizzle
Fanboys

It was a really cute and funny pointless movie about Star Wars. B



Does the B stand for SUCK?
That movie sucked.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #615 on: 06-08-2009 08:04 »

One-Sentence Reviews

Terminator: Salvation
CGI Arnie for Governor!

The Spirit
It’s all a massively over-acted shade of utterly ridiculous.

The Illusionist
A repetitive, but occasionally surprising period drama about stage magic that’s almost as good as The Prestige but not quite because Jessica Beil can’t act.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
And to think, now none of this ever happened. frown

The Interpreter
Should have been called The Glaringly Enormous and Unlikely Coincidence Ruining an Otherwise Excellent Script, but I guess that was too long.

Curse of the Golden Flower
Everybody dies pointlessly; this is sooo the film Shakespeare would have made if he’d been Chinese, and a filmmaker.

The French Connection 2
Hackman’s loud obnoxious American cop, while accurate, is grating within the refined French setting, proving that for everybody’s sake Americans should never go anywhere without a tour group.

Entrapment
Sean, you randy old bastard! smile

Collateral
I love it when Tom Cruise dies.

Dr. No
This is where it started, the very first proper James Bond movie – and it’s crap.

Octopussy
Despite a vaguely realistic plot (as the Moore films go) it’s still difficult to take seriously, even ignoring the title, when you see Bond dressed as a clown…

The Man With the Golden Gun
Scaramanga is a gay name.

The Living Daylights
Timothy Dalton’s competent debut to the Bond franchise is marred somewhat by the ‘Russian’ transport plane clearly changing from a C-130 to a C-123 between shots… c’mon people!

Licence to Kill
Ironically Dalton’s much-criticized gritty and brooding take on Bond was the same angle that was so successful at reinvigorating the series with Casino Royale.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #616 on: 06-09-2009 02:29 »

I would put to you sir that coldangel is way gayer than Scaramanga! A-ha!

The International
Hmm, it was ok, in a time when people want to punch big banks collectively in the face I guess it works as a revenge fantasy thriller of sorts. But I felt it dragged on a big and I didn't really care about what was happening
Some stuff didn't really make sense, like having two snipers to kill one of the guys, if the 2nd guy was supposed to get away and the 1st guy was hired to get caught but they knew about the 2nd guy straight away, what was the point of hiring the other guy in the first place? They could have saved some goddamn money!
I thought these were supposed to be bankers, not lets-waste-money-on-unnecessary-sniper-ers.
I still liked Clive Owen (swoon) and Naomi Watts was ok (even though she skipped mourning her husband pretty quickly at the start)

C-
M0le

Space Pope
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« Reply #617 on: 06-09-2009 02:56 »

Terminator: Salvation
Look, I'm willing to accept the hundreds of plot holes, cliches, and the "back to status quo" ending this thing was crawling with, because it was dumb fun. But I can't accept A SKYNET ROBOT DESIGNED FOR NOTHING MORE THAN SENTRY POSITION TO BE WEARING A STYLISH BANDANA. mad.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #618 on: 06-09-2009 03:10 »

Isn't the whole point of the Terminators that they're meant to be mistaken as human? Only from a distance in the older models obviously, but still... that explains the scraps of clothing?
M0le

Space Pope
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« Reply #619 on: 06-09-2009 03:32 »

The robot I'm talking about appears as an immobile guard in a human concentration camp - it doesn't look like it was designed for infiltration, the bandana wouldn't protect it from anything, and there would be no point in it wearing a bandana, even to psychologically torment the prisoners (they were slated for experimentation or something). And at this point in the Terminator timeline, models designed to look human were still in the prototype stage!

IT MAKES NO SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENSE!! eek
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #620 on: 06-09-2009 04:37 »

...Oh er... um... It was protecting exposed circuits? Susceptible to rain and/or sunlight? I dunno.
Future Shock

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #621 on: 06-09-2009 13:55 »

The Shiralee
No, it's not a recent movie blockbuster, it's a 1985 miniseries I've seen recently.
At first it seems kind of boring, but I'm glad I didn't turn it off because it progressed into a really good story.
I think it's rather good acting for a six year old, Rachal Smarts performance was pretty awesome. Billy Brown was also good at portraying a 1930s country bloke, I was actually surprised to find out it was made at this time.
Recommend this. A
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
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« Reply #622 on: 06-11-2009 00:51 »
« Last Edit on: 06-11-2009 03:05 »

Burnt Offerings (1976)

A stupid movie were only stupid things happen. Too bad there wasn't a MST3K or a Rifftrack of this movie, it needs one.  It was kinda funny on it's own really...

D+ Only because it was so bad it made me laugh.

Here's a quick video about this movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6wB2smPfF8

Spacedal11

Space Pope
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« Reply #623 on: 06-11-2009 21:32 »

Sabrina (1954)

I loved this movie it was so sweet and simple. Audrey Hepburn is just one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. And this dress:



I want this dress. I would love this to be my prom dress actually.

A

Now as for the 95' remake, all I can say is that if you feel the need to watch it, only watch it for Harrison Ford. The chick who plays Sabrina doesn't hold a candle to Audrey Hepburn. She sucks.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #624 on: 06-12-2009 12:52 »

Drag Me To Hell
Scary means turn it up LOOOUUUD!
Ya there were a few jumpy moments, and a few gross ridiculous moments, but that's Sam Raimi for ya.
Alison Lohman is a cutiebutt.

B+
BirthdayClown

Urban Legend
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« Reply #625 on: 06-12-2009 20:04 »

The ending was so predictable, but they waited so long to reveal it that you're thinking....hmm, maybe not? But then bam! Predictable. tongue
Agreed on the grade and Lohman's butt.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #626 on: 06-12-2009 20:50 »

I thought Justin Long was gonna get it a few times.
Books

Near Death Star Inhabitant
Urban Legend
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« Reply #627 on: 06-13-2009 14:52 »

Night of the Living Dead remake - 7 - Annoying characters
Gallipoli - 9.5 - Inpactful
*Star Trek - 9.5 - What that guy said
Matchstick Men - 8.5 - Ridley Scott's most underrated.
Man on Wire - 10 - Epic and inspiring and beautiful
Son of Rambow - 7.5 - Not as good as I expected, still decent
how to lose friends and alienate people  - 7 - Had a few funny parts
No Country for old men  - 8 - On par with the book..
Synecdouch, New York  - 9 - Beautiful and amazing, Charlie Kaufman better make more movies or else mad
Paprika  - 7 - wtf
Die Hard - 10 - Best.
Just Buried - 6.5 - Some movie
City of God  - 9.5 - Great, but oddly missing something..
Fandy y Lis - 4 - I wanted to like it, I really did
Casino - 7 - Boring, slow, Scorsese is the most overrated director...
Goodfellas - 7 - Boring, slow
Gore From Outer Space - 3.5 - Boring
Vegas Vacation - 8 - I really like this series
Matrix - 9 - Fun
Matrix Reloaded - 7.5 - ehh...
The 400 Blows - 8 - Slow, but alright
Innerspace - 7 - Interesting...
Matrix Revolutions - 7.5 - The zion attack scene is intense
Simon of the Desert - 7 - Tedious, then bizarre.
Futurama Into The Wild Green Yonder - 6 - A disappointing end to 4 disappointing movies
Sans Soleil - 8 - Conflicting
Planes Trains and Automobiles - 9 - Sad
La Jetee - 8 - Pretty cool
American Beauty - 10 - Masterpiece
Chasing Amy - 7 - Forgettable
Dawn of the Dead extended - 9 - Adventurous!
The Triplets of Belleville - 10 - Majestic
X Men 2 - 8 - Great
Sympathy for Mr Vengeance 9 - Crazy
Man Bites Dog - 8 - Funny
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #628 on: 06-13-2009 14:58 »

You didn't like Goodfellas? I though Goodfellas was awesome... frown
Gorky

Space Pope
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« Reply #629 on: 06-13-2009 17:52 »

American Beauty - 10 - Masterpiece

Word. Easily one of the best movies I've ever seen in my short, philistinic life.

As for a review of my own: Uh...I watched Aladdin earlier this week. It's still a pretty fun movie, even though I'm ostensibly too old to be watching it. Still, I'm surprised that I enjoyed it so much when I was younger, seeing as how there's not a poop joke to be found. There are, however, monkeys. I guess that's what held my little toddler interest.
BirthdayClown

Urban Legend
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« Reply #630 on: 06-13-2009 21:26 »

lol at Son of Rambow getting a higher score than Goodfellas. Please ban her again.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #631 on: 06-13-2009 23:31 »

I do the one-sentence reviews! mad
Books

Near Death Star Inhabitant
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #632 on: 06-13-2009 23:33 »

I would have made every one of those movies a separate post if I wasn't banned. You can blame Fazeshift for that. Besides mine are a different format.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #633 on: 06-13-2009 23:46 »

Format schormat - I will eat your soul! tongue
Frisco17

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #634 on: 06-14-2009 00:45 »

* Frisco brings Coldy his apron and the spork of a thousand souls.
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
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« Reply #635 on: 06-14-2009 02:16 »

Slaughter

A really f**ked up movie, also the ending was sad.
Pedobear was also in this movie. It was alright.

B

~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #636 on: 06-14-2009 02:35 »
« Last Edit on: 06-14-2009 02:40 »

You can blame Fazeshift for that.
BAWWW, blame anyone but yourself, porn poster. roll eyes

Death To Smoochy
Refreshing to see Ed Norton play a more lighthearted role, he plays Smoochy, a naive kids TV pink Rhino character who gets called in after Rainbow Randolph (a great revenge-fueled Robin Williams) gets fired for corruption, and whacky adventure ensues.
Catherine Keener, Danny DeVito and John Stewart are good in it too.

A-
Books

Near Death Star Inhabitant
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #637 on: 06-14-2009 05:16 »

I watched The New World.

Terrance Mallick is a brilliant director but I sense this isn't his best work. It's beautifully shot of course with some of the best shots you'll ever see, but the plot goes awry the longer it continues. Not as good as The Thin Red Line.

8/10
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #638 on: 06-14-2009 10:56 »

I do the one-sentence reviews! mad
In his defense, a lot of them aren't complete sentences.  Some of them aren't even words.
Future Shock

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #639 on: 06-14-2009 12:50 »

Coldy doesn't like people doing his jobs. Brace yourself.
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