Favourite Professor Farnsworth Quotes

[Reply #280 on:]

You're, not your.
And don't has an apostrophe in it.

You are correct, my bad. I'm  useless at English.

Is English your first language, Dick???
My double post was a joke.We have far too many people who take this far too seriously.

Yeah whatever, I dont respect you enough to even care what you think.

ebenezerkvasthval, rather than double-post, you can edit the existing post.

We do not like double-posting.

He's certainly taken your advise to heart.

So, a Farnsworth quote "To shreds you say.... well how is his wife holding up? ..... To shreds you say..."

[Reply #281 on:]

From Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles when they're at the spa:
Heather: Sir, it's not necessary or wise to be naked.
Professor farnsworth: Pff, you sound just like my tennis instructor!

[Reply #282 on:]

From Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles

That episode is a gold mine of fantastic Farnsworth quotes...I can't even pick one.

[Reply #283 on:]

Well, pick a different one then.

[Reply #284 on:]

If you insist...

"That steamed carrot was a bit spicy for me."

[Reply #285 on:]

Oh! I know another good quote from that episode:
(The proffesor slurps something through a straw)
"mmm, damn good meat!"
Loads of good quotes from TMLH

[Reply #286 on:]

From Time Keeps On Slipping:

"No showboating, you atomic hot dog!"

(picks up chair and attempts to throw it like Bobby Knight, and it lands a whole three inches away. Killer!)

[Reply #287 on:]

 "News, everyone."

[Reply #288 on:]

From Jurrasic Bark:

"Dolemite!  Its the shiney black metal that doesn't cop out when there's heat all about!" 

[Reply #289 on:]

What about in Jurassic bark, when fry smashes his machine: Proffesor: Oh, smash the smart guy's machine.

[Reply #290 on:]

Great Godzillas Gonads!

[Reply #291 on:]

good news nobody's

[Reply #292 on:]

Every time the professor says: "Phwat!?", and similar spelling of the word "what!?".

Prof Farnsworth is the ultimate college professor, he proved that on Mars.

[Reply #293 on:]

Hwahh?

[Reply #294 on:]

It's "eh, whaaaa?", I belive.
Also, my favorite Farnsworth quote is: "Yes, but they won't listen! Everybody's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain. But when you put it in the body of a great white shark - uuuh, suddenly you've gone too far."

[Reply #295 on:]

Leela: I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a women can.

Professor: You're going to do his laundry?

[Reply #296 on:]

Hwahh?

Indeed do.
"Phwat!?" sounds more like an expression in an action sequence.

It's "eh, whaaaa?", I belive.

I think he's used both of them during the years.

[Reply #297 on:]

 - "We will experience a fate worst than death : PRE-LIFE !!! then death...."

- professor : it is an extremely dangerous mission
  Leela : What is it ?
  professor : collecting honey. ordinary honey.
  Leela : this doesn't sound so dangerous
  professor : this is no ordinary honey !

- (Farnsworth and wernstrom are debating over who must exploring an anomaly)
  farnsworth : let's settle this like professional scientists
(the madison cube garden)
farnsworth : LET'S DEATHBALL BEGINS !!!

- "i hate these nerds. just because I'm stupider than them they think they're smarter than me."

[Reply #298 on:]

"Down in front!"

[Reply #299 on:]

Leela: I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a women can.

Professor: You're going to do his laundry?

Do you enjoy other aspects of misogyny?

[Reply #300 on:]

Farnsworth: Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mister I'm-My-Own-Grandpa. Let's get the hell out of here! Screw history!

Definitely my favorite!

And

"Ohh I've been as dumb as Fry!"

[Reply #301 on:]

Do you enjoy other aspects of misogyny?

The Professor only complimented women on being notably superior to men at doing laundry. It does acknowledge his belief of there being some inequality between the sexes, but I wouldn't go so far as to consider it an aspect of misogyny.

[Reply #302 on:]

Professor:  "Satan, you owe me!"

[Reply #303 on:]

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
Fry: No, no, I, I think I'll just smell around a bit over here.

That's a damn funny one!

[Reply #304 on:]

I also enjoy this one;

Fry: You're cute!
Liubot: You're cute!
Fry: You!
Liubot: You!
Fry: You!
Liubot: You!
Fry: You!
(...the crew watching horrified...)
Professor: Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot. Well, that's love for you.

[Reply #305 on:]

Hahaha, I forgot about that! I use that one all the time with the bf! He's the idiot

[Reply #306 on:]

Professor: i can wire anything direkte into anything. I am the professor!

[Reply #307 on:]

Farnsworth: Remember, we've got to show these people we're not bitter husks of human beings who long ago abandoned hope of finding love in this lifetime. Leela, you'll have to do some acting.

[Reply #308 on:]

"Oh my, yes". < I use this too often IRL. Also, "Hu-wha?"

I tend to quote Farnsworth a lot when in the lab, 'specially when doing something which I don't know the result of until I get to it. I've also taken to muttering things like "To shreds, you say?" and "Gone the way of the poodle" at moments which could be considered fitting.

Finally, I've begun recently to say "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" any time I see something on the news that... well, makes me want to move to my domed moon castle forest ahead of schedule.

[Reply #309 on:]

"I'm sad now"
"Wait, let's not give up so easy! That's a statue of Neptune, god of water. The number of points on his trident are three, or tri. The U in his name looks like a V.... hmmmm, tri-v... tre-vi.... Trevi! It's the Trevi fountain, there can be no question!"
"It's a spaceship, damnit, not a prom limousine! Ugggg! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome!"
"Oh, why don't we all just ask ourselfs, that'll solve this problem."
"Bolder-Crap! I created your universe! The only thing you created was my fist parallel to your face!"

Don't know if this form has been posted on for some time, I didn't look at the posts, I just posted myself. Also don't know if anyone already has these posted.

[Reply #310 on:]

A couple of my favorites

"Oooh a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm my own Grandpa"

Leela: I'm going to remind him of his humanity the way only a woman can. (or something close to that)
Professor: You're going to do his laundry? <is immediately slapped by Amy>

Professor: You might want to do some research on wandering bladder syndrome.
Cubert: Why?
Professor: No reason, no reason at all.

[Reply #311 on:]

"Please Fry, I don't know anything about teaching! I'm a professor!"
 

[Reply #312 on:]

I love pretty much everything the Professor says. All of his lines are pure gold. Particularly in "Spanish Fry".

"Fry! What in Sega Genesis happened to you!?"
"Well, there's no sense fretting. Good Lord, you're ugly!"
"Bunk! Bunk, I say!"

And my favorite exchange:
Fry: My God! They must have taken it last night!
Professor: Which last night!?

[Reply #313 on:]

one of my favorite scenes, from futurstock.

Professor: Wh... Where am I?

Hermes: Move forward, Walk into the light.

Professor: Oh god, I'm dead! Well, no matter. Thank you all for coming. I don't recognize any of you, nor can I recall why I am here. Now, without further adieu, a film highlighting Planet Express Inc's latest fiscal year.

[Reply #314 on:]

Please help, I am trying to remember this quote.

The professor says "Idiot, _______ are not ________"

[Reply #315 on:]

Monkeys aren't donkeys.  From AoI2 if I'm not mistaken.

[Reply #316 on:]

From the Holiday Spectacular:

"No, Bender, the ship can't withstand this much pressure. Sometimes it falls apart just sitting in the hangar!"

[Reply #317 on:]

Boo on me for double-posting, but I just watched "Jurassic Bark," and this line pretty much defines the Professor's character, and how he is treated by the rest of the PE crew. Also, it makes me giggle:

"I'm a professor! Why isn't anyone listening to me?"

[Reply #318 on:]

1."I refuse to believe anyone can be happy!" (I might have gotten the wording wrong...)
2. "I'll be in the Angry Dome!"
3. "Give me your hand, and I'll tell you all the ways I find you repugnant." (Might not be completely verbatim, either...)

[Reply #319 on:]

"Ah this is my intern, Amy Wong!  I just keep her around because she has the same blood type as me!"
Later:
"If anything happens, bring back the blood!"