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coldangel
DOOP Secretary
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Leela: Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorram ship?!
Fry: Looks like.
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hobbitboy
Sir Rank-a-Lot
Urban Legend
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Fry: OMG! Do you mean to say there's a sqylon device somewhere on the bridge? Leela: Yes, and according to this, its something that wasn't here before. Fry: Oh, but won't that make it easier to spot? Leela: No, this read-out says that it will have been disguised. Fry: But, hang on. How would the Sqylons know anything about what passes for Earthican technology? Leela: They don't. They only have thousand year old TV broadcasts to go on. Which means that this device, whatever it is, probably looks like a piece of thousand year old equipment. Fry: Those bastards! How the hell is anyone going to be able to recognise stuff from that long ago? Leela: [Distracted by what she's reading.] Huh? Who knows.
Look, Fry, we've to stay focused and keep out wits about us. You'd think that finding a thousand year old anachronism amid all the high-tech equipment required to fly a modern spaceship would be easy, like if the wheel was from a sailing ship, or if the ship's computer was an abacus. Fry: Or if the high-precision chronograph was a pin-up calendar. Leela: Right. But obviously its not that easy or we'd have spotted it by now. And I can't quite shake the feeling that the answer has been staring us in the face all along. Fry: Hrrumf. Yeah, right! [Rolls his eyes.]
Hey, I wonder if this teleprompter thing can also tell us what's going to happen next?
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Smarty
Professor
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Professsor (on tv): Oh my God. It's here. You found it. All the time, it was...We finally really did it! [Does dance. Fry trips and falls onto a button and a bomb begins to fly out of the ship. Fry and Leela gape in horror.]
Professor: What is it now? [Giant explosion and the ship lights up. Fry and Leela are frozen.] You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you both to hell!
Leela: But--
Professor: The secret to the Universe! Gone! I finally trust you two and you destroyed it.
Fry: [turning to Leela] What's that now, number 16?
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NastyInThePasty
Professor
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Leela: Oh God, thousand-year-old Family Guy reruns...!
Fry: [screams]
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Svip
Administrator
DOOP Secretary
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After a couple of minutes of silence as Leela and Fry watch the monitor in horror.
Fry: [stuttering in horror] Can't you change the channel?
Leela: [crying] There is Family Guy on all of them!
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futz
Liquid Emperor
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Leela: Aaaaah!!!
Fry: Aaaaah!!!
Leela: Aah! A FUX Execubot!!! No heart, no soul, no brain, no...
Fry: There it is! Looks like you're screwed Leela.
Leela: I was going to say no gender bias, Fry.
Fry: Aaaaah!!!
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Bad Asp
Crustacean
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The Planet Express Crew have landed on the Planet of Food Fights, and Fry and Leela are currently dodging an oncoming lunch tray.
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Frisco17
DOOP Secretary
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I gotta give this one to i_c_weiner. Consolation point to Coldy for the Firefly reference.
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coldangel
DOOP Secretary
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Technically it was a Serenity reference, Frisco... if that is your real name.
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Frisco17
DOOP Secretary
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I have so many at this point I don't even remember the real one.
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Svip
Administrator
DOOP Secretary
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Where is i_c_weiner with a framegrab!? He is wasting our time. Damn American Frenchies. The worst of both worlds!
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Frisco17
DOOP Secretary
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Send him a message or something I know he's on. He just made a new relationships thread.
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NastyInThePasty
Professor
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Bender: I'll come back when Cubert has finished putting on his camoflage makeup.
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Bad Asp
Crustacean
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The boys will gladly accept members of any race (or species) into their club. But there is one rule: NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!!
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futz
Liquid Emperor
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Bender: Ok, so your Dad out ranks me but I know what your mama does while you're in school.
Asian kid: Bam!
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Frisco17
DOOP Secretary
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Bender: "Wait did you just role 3 dice in one turn? That's against the rules."
Asian Kid: "Screw the rules, I have money!"
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i_c_weiner
DOOP Secretary
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I'll give this another few hours.
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Smarty
Professor
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Bender: Okay, kids, it's been 8 days and 10 hours you've been playing this thing. It needs to end.
Dwight: But Bender, you said you once played Blackjack for a month straight.
Bender: True, but that is a man's game. This is a 40-year-old-man-who-lives-with-his-mother's game. Now, off to the "dungeons" with you nerds!
Cubert: You can only do that if you roll an 8.
Bender: Okay, gimme the die. (Cubert gives him the die. Bender threatens to throw it.) I'll give you three an 8!
All four (running away): Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Bender: (laughs) Fry! Bring the beer and the Connect Four!
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i_c_weiner
DOOP Secretary
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Okay, I'll decide now before I disappear for the night. hobbitboy wins for making me literally laugh out loud. Honorable mention to futz, Frisky, and Wonderpants.
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Frisco17
DOOP Secretary
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After talking to an old friend Fry finally figured out how to talk Leela and Amy into a threeway
Fry: (crying) "Everyone I ever knew or cared about is gone!....I....I'm just so lonely!!"
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coldangel
DOOP Secretary
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In Hell, your most cherished dreams are twisted into your worst nightmare...Leela: Hey Fry - how would you like to have sex with Amy and I? At the same time! Fry: But the Devil cut off my wang!!
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