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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Gal You've Never Heard Of Rips Off JBERGES! « previous next »
Author Topic: Gal You've Never Heard Of Rips Off JBERGES!  (Read 8763 times)
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Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #200 on: 01-24-2005 20:56 »
« Last Edit on: 01-24-2005 20:56 »

Oh, Gorky, I gotta go with Venus on this one, it's awesomely like an episode. Nag-arella is fabulous!

Morbo and Linda are lovely fun. Oh, Morbo, who ever let you into the SPCA in the first place.

Fry's little snicker at Poopenmeyer is great!
 
Quote
Hermes: What are you three loonies doing?

I am far too Canadian for my own good. I started picturing our one dollar coins.

 
Quote
Bender: What do you want, guy who isn’t Bender and thus is a waste of my time?

That is such a great Bender line.

I love the clipboard whacking in the end... though it sounds a little familiar.   wink

Overall, this is an interesting opener and I look forward to the rest.

Now for the off-topic stuff.

People are talking about me! Hooray! I'm having a wonderful time!. I leave for a bit and come back to find out Venus' has finally broken under our vicious onslaught and you've updated and we've been nominated for all these PEELie things. Cool!

And I'm annoying! (Well, how do you think I feel miss I-can-write-prose-and-script-and funny- stuff-and-I-stole-a-shippy-moment-away-out-of-pure-spite! ANd also you finish things, and start new things! And you can at least cut me out of the pile for voting, cause I'm drama and everybody else is a rocking humour fest of joy! Nobody wants to mope around anymore...)

I'm gonna go sit in the snow till I cool off.   smile

TOTP snow dance!
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #201 on: 01-26-2005 07:38 »

Well, I'm glad to see that you all enjoyed this first part to what is sure to be a long, monotonous, tedious, [insert other word that means, like, boring here] fic. That said, I should have another part up either today or tomorrow. But for now, I'll just reply to all of you individually, even though you are all people who aren't me and thus are a waste of my time. (God, did I just quote myself?)

AsaB: Great to know that you liked the epilogue, although I must admit that the idea of not looking directly into the camera was also used on The Simpsons (in an episode called "Marge on the Lamb" ), a show that is a great inspiration to me. And I'm also glad to hear that you're enjoying this new fic so far! Politics just make me mad, so I'm sort of writing this for revenge on every politician in America. Hope I can meet your expectations with the rest of the fic.

Venus: It read like an episode? Really? Because I'm always thinking that, when I write stuff, it isn't true to the show. But, at least I know that some people think that I don't stray too far from the spirit of Futurama. Thanks so much! Also, I wasn't sure if Nag-arella was ever used, but I put it in anyway. It is a surprise that the writers never thought that up. So glad to hear that you liked this so far, and thanks as always.

Fry's Lady: Neat, another reader! I always like to see what new people think of my stuff, and, needless to say, I'm really happy that you like my work. Thanks for commenting.

Layla: You think it's like an episode, too? As great as that is, it means that I'm gonna really have to challenge myself and make sure that subsequent parts are up to par with this. I made you picture the Canadian dollar, eh? Well...it was on purpose then!  wink Also, regarding the Bender line...I didn't think that had been used before, although the clipboard thing...maybe was. *Whistles nonchalantly*. Also, I think that you really have a really good chance of winning the PEELie...I'm guessing that either you or Bergey will win it (T_L's stuff is brilliant, it's just that I think you two have more readers, and thus, more people who would consider voting for you). Good luck, yet again. And you're not annoying, miss-I'm-so-great-at-drama-and-that-prosy...-stuff-and-I-can-write-comedy-too-and-I'm-such-a-hopeless-shipper-who-is-really-mad-at-that-annoying-Gorky-person. And everyone mopes around anyway, so it's no big deal.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #202 on: 01-26-2005 17:25 »

Ugh...I'm making double-posting a habit, but here it is: the next part of my fic. Not sure if this is a step down from the last part, but here it goes...

----------------------

(Cut to the Mayor’s office. Fry, Leela, and Bender walk into the building, wheeling in a large crate. They stop at a desk, where a woman, the Mayor’s secretary, is seated.)

Secretary: How may I help you?

Leela: We’re from the Planet Express Delivery service, and we have a package for Mayor Poopenmeyer.

Secretary: He’s in his office. Go right in.

Fry: Wait…he’s in his office? But he was just on TV a few seconds ago.

Bender: Isn’t it obvious that there’s been a lapse in time?

Fry: A where in the what-now?

(Annoyed, Bender turns to Leela.)

Bender: May I?

Leela: Go ahead.

(Bender opens up his chest compartment and takes out a plastic leg, which he uses to whack Fry over the head with. He smirks, then puts the leg back in his chest.)

Bender: Thanks.

(Cut to the office. The three crewmembers wheel the crate in, but find that the mayor is not there.)

Leela: Hello? Mr. Mayor? Are you in here, sir?

(No one answers. Leela sighs.)

Leela: He’s not in here. I guess we’ll just have to wait in here for him until he comes back.

Bender: Like hell we will! I have lots of important stuff to do today!

Leela: Like what?

Bender: Getting hammered and stuff.

Leela: How many times have I told you, Bender? No getting hammered until after we make our deliveries!

Fry: You’ve never said that.

Leela: (annoyed) Who are you, the continuity police?

Fry: No. But I am the town sheriff.

(Fry pulls out a small plastic badge that says “Sheriff”, a novelty that he probably got out of a cereal box.)

Leela: Whatever. Look, we’re waiting for the mayor whether you two like it or not. So just sit down and don’t touch anything.

(Leela sits down in a chair near the office door. Bender rolls his eyes.)

Bender: Fine. If you won’t let me get drunk in the privacy of some hobo-infested bar, I’ll get drunk in the Mayor’s office!

Fry: It wouldn’t be the first time…

Bender: Damn straight!

(Bender takes the seat next to Leela. He pulls out a six pack from his chest compartment and starts a- chuggin’. Leela turns away in a combination of disgust and embarrassment.)

Leela: Dear Lord…(her eye wanders, and she catches a glimpse of something) Fry, what are you doing?!

(Pull out to reveal that Fry is sitting at the Mayor’s desk. He picks up a cigar and a lighter from the desk. He puts the cigar in his mouth and lights it.)

Fry: I always wanted to be a mayor…to have mutant kitten armies at my disposal.

Leela: Okay, first of all, there’s no such thing as mutant kitten armies. Second of all, get away from the Mayor’s desk!

Fry: Oh, c’mon, Leela! Lighten up!

Leela: Lighten up? Fine.

(She slouches in her chair and drops her eyelid halfway. She mimes someone smoking a cigarette.)

Leela: (mimicking some kind of smart-talking street…person) Like, dude, you gotta, like, get away from the commie-lovin’ Mayor’s desk before the tightwad comes back. Get me?

Bender: Yeah, like anyone’s gonna be intimidated by that.

Leela: Shut-up!

Fry: Please just let me sit here, Leela. I’ll be good.

Leela: (sighs) Fine. Just…don’t touch anything, okay?

Fry: Okay, I won’t touch anything. (His eye wanders) Ooo, forms! (He picks the forms up)

Bender: What is with you air-breathing, non-mechanical organisms and forms, already!

Leela: That’s it!

(Leela gets up and walks over to the Mayor’s desk.)

Fry: What?

Leela: Give me those forms!

Fry: No! If I can’t touch anything, why should you be able to?

Leela: But you already are touching the forms, so by rights, I should be able to touch them, too!

Fry: Okay, you lost me.

Leela: Not too hard to do, Fry.

(She grabs the forms out of his hands. He takes them back.)

Fry: Oh c’mon, Leela, they’re just some stupid papers. See?

(He holds the papers up, then reads them, one at a time.)

Fry: (reading) “Oil-Spilling Policies—Fifth Edition”…who cares! (He throws that form off to the side, then reads the next one) “Animal Rights, Shmanimal Rights”…whoop-de-doo! (He throws that form off to the side, then reads the last one) “Mutant Sedition Acts”…whatever!

Leela: “Mutant Sedition Acts”? Fry, give me those papers.

Fry: What’re the magic words?

Leela: Oh, sorry. Fry, give me those papers or I’ll be forced to throw pointy objects at you in a haphazard fashion.

Fry: (nervously) Heh, heh…that’s right, Mr. Leela, sir.

(He hands the papers to Leela. She reads over them aloud.)

Leela: (reading) “Any mutant who attempts to rebel against the surface-dwellers or who disagrees with the government’s policies will be fined, jailed, and, if need be…” (she gulps) “executed.” Oh my God…

Fry: Oh her God.

(Leela reads through the other two papers.)

Leela: What do these other two say? (reading) “From here on out, all animals will be forced to conform with our customs…i.e., wearing pants…or suffer the consequences.” This is insane.

Fry: Oh her God.

Leela: This is the last one…(reading) “The Mayor will now only allow oil-spilling if his bribes are in the form of small bills.” I can’t believe this.

Fry: Oh her God.

Leela: What are you, a broken MP3?

Fry: A what?

Leela: Forget it…

(Just then, we can hear the sound of Mayor Poopenmeyer’s from the other side of the door.)

Poopenmeyer (o.s.): Of course you’re right…it’s a common mistake! Anyone could’ve misspelled it! Don’t beat yourself up! Okay. Bye.

(Fry and Leela throw the forms back on the desk nervously and rush over to the two empty chairs by Bender. They sit down just as the Mayor walks in. He’s wearing a T-shirt, shorts, and a sweatband. He’s carrying a racquet.)

Poopenmeyer: (Laughs) Ah…nothing like a nice game of Racquetball with Dan Quayle’s Head…

(Leela coughs to try and attract the Mayor’s attention. She catches him off-guard.)

Poopenmeyer: (frightened) Ah! A ghost!

Leela: (under her breath) Moron…

Poopenmeyer: Who are you calling a moron, Mr. Ghost…sir?

Leela: Um…Mayor Poopenmeyer? Would you look behind you for a sec?

Poopenmeyer: Okay.

(He turns around and sees the three crewmembers.)

Poopenmeyer: Oh, you’re not ghosts…just a bunch of freaks.

Bender: Who’re you calling freaks?

Fry: He’s calling us freaks. Don’t you pay attention? (Beat; then, defensively) Hey! We are not freaks!

Leela: (hiding her anger) Look, Mr. Mayor, we’re from Planet Express Delivery service. We have some things here that you need to sign for.

Poopenmeyer: Oh goody! I love signing things!

Leela: (forced laughter) Great. Just sign here.

(She holds out a piece of paper, and the Mayor signs it. Then, he walks over to his desk and sits down.)

Poopenmeyer: Thanks. What’s in the box, anyway?

Leela: Just some stuff for your reelection…

Poopenmeyer: (interrupting; happily) Ooo, look! Forms!

Leela: (annoyed) …campaign.

Poopenmeyer: Oil spilling…animals…mutants…blah, blah, blah. Okay, whatever. Where do I sign?

Leela: Um…Mr. Mayor, aren’t you gonna read those before you sign them?

Poopenmeyer: Why would I do that?

Leela: Well, what if there were things written there that you didn’t agree with? Don’t you think it would be a good idea to read them first, just in case?

Poopenmeyer: Listen, one-eyed nosy lady, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I’ve never once read a form. And what does it matter what I do when I’m just gonna get reelected anyway?

Leela: Well, with all due respect, Mr. Mayor, sir…(angrily) You’re a useless, smug, annoying dumbass!

Poopenmeyer: What’s your point?

Leela: My point is, it’s about time we get someone new in the Mayor’s office.

Poopenmeyer: Fat chance. Who do you know with as much grace and intelligence and me?

Leela: You have about as much grace and intelligence as a lamp post. (Beat) That’s it…

Poopenmeyer: What?

Leela: Fry’s gonna run against you!

Fry: Me?

Poopenmeyer: You’re crazy!

Leela: I’m not crazy. It’s perfect! Fry’s the every man…Joe Schmo.

Fry: I resent that.

Leela (cont.): Who wouldn’t vote for him?

Poopenmeyer: You’re crazy!

Leela: I’m not crazy! And besides, what do you care? You said it yourself: you’re gonna win anyway. Are you just afraid of a little healthy competition?

Poopenmeyer: No way! Run for mayor, see what I care.

Leela: Fine, he will.

Fry: Leela, I think you’re crazy.

Leela: Shut up, Fry!

Fry: Yes, Captain!

Leela: Well, so long, Mr. Mayor…see you in the headlines.

Poopenmeyer: Good luck, freaks!

Fry: Thanks! (beat; then, angrily) Hey!

(Fry, Bender, and Leela leave the room. The first two walk ahead of Leela, who hangs back outside the office door. She leans up against it.)

Leela: I’m crazy…

(She sinks against the wall down to the floor.)

------------------------

As always, I'd love to hear what you guys think...
AsaB

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #203 on: 01-26-2005 17:41 »

I see the plot forming! Definitely no let-down, of course not, but very interesting. Again, you handled Fry very well, I love how you write him. It was very in character for him to sit by the desk and browse through papers. Also, the sheriff line made me laugh  big grin

 
Quote
Originally posted by becky:
Fry: What’re the magic words?

Leela: Oh, sorry. Fry, give me those papers or I’ll be forced to throw pointy objects at you in a haphazard fashion.

Fry: (nervously) Heh, heh…that’s right, Mr. Leela, sir.

Bwahaha! I can so imagine that, funny stuff.

Looking forward to more!
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #204 on: 01-26-2005 19:09 »

Oh, geez.  Another thread where I've fallen frighteningly behind. 

First off, horray for Venus!  You'll hardly regret this!  smile

Second; congrats to all nominated for PEELies, though I have this nagging feeling Layla's going to thwomp us, Gorky.  We shall see...

Third, right, this is Gorky's thread.  I like this premise, Gorks. The setup is pretty believable, too. Some good your-style humor in there, and this one's out of the gate cleanly.  Keep up the good work, as always.

 
Quote
Leela: Oh, sorry. Fry, give me those papers or I’ll be forced to throw pointy objects at you in a haphazard fashion.

 laff
Philp_J_Fry

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #205 on: 01-26-2005 20:23 »

Great work as usual. Funny too, can't wait to see what happens next. Keep up the good work.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #206 on: 01-26-2005 22:02 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by JBERGES:
Second; congrats to all nominated for PEELies, though I have this nagging feeling Layla's going to thwomp us, Gorky.  We shall see...

Nah, I think you've got it, Bergey. You deserve it. After all, I haven't even finished anything, and you've got some great finished scripts out there. Gorky's got some awesome finished stuff too, and this new one is gonna be great. The only thing I can see in my favour is the fact I've been updating all over the place lately, and Gorky's been doing that too.
Best of luck to both of you, oh, and TongueLuck too, who is also hilarious.

On to the topic at hand!

I liked this. It's a great idea to have them deliver those forms, and then have Fry be Fry and get into them, and Leela be Leela and get upset about it, (but still her nosy self), and Bender be Bender and not care about any of this.

I love love love love that it's Leela who makes Fry run for mayor. It's perfect. He's just too lazy and apathetic.

The ghost thing cracked me up, as well as the wacky forms (Mutants being persecuted by the government and Leela being worried... hmm...  smile I love that too!)

Fry and the cereal box badge (you know he would take that seriously.) laff

 
Quote
Poopenmeyer: (Laughs) Ah…nothing like a nice game of Racquetball with Dan Quayle’s Head…

This was a great image, and you can take it in two ways.

Bonus points for use of the word haphazard, which is a word I metaphorically like.

Leela's lightening up.  laff Your Fry writing in general is magnificent. I really enjoyed this nice, long update, thanks!


say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #207 on: 01-26-2005 22:23 »

Gorky, I have been meaning to comment on your thread for a while, but I won't bother you with my millions of excuses. The fact is that you are hilarious. I laughed out loud about four times while reading this and I don't usually laugh out loud at things I read unless I am really tickled. This idea is awesome possum and I can't wait for more! Yay!
zomit

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #208 on: 01-27-2005 01:35 »

I usually love reading these, and of course this one is no exception. 
Quote
Leela: You have about as much grace and intelligence as a lamp post. (Beat) That’s it…

Poopenmeyer: What?

Leela: Fry’s gonna run against you!
I also liked the bit with the sherrif badge (reminds me of when Homer had the "genuine police badge" ) and the ghosts bit alot. I can't wait for the next part!
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #209 on: 01-29-2005 10:24 »

I should have another part posted soon (maybe today sometime), but for now I shall respond to all of you because I have no life (nor do I intend on getting one).

AsaB: Yeah, the plot's forming. I thought that one of my fics should have a story, other than a few gags that I just compile together and call a fanfic. I'm glad that you think I write Fry well, especially because he's actually really hard to write (and even if he really isn't, I'm very picky as to what is and is not acceptable as a Fry line). And you liked that "pointy objects" thing? That's great, because it took forever to come up with. Thanks so much for your encouragement!

JBERGES: He's back! By the way, Bergey, I just read the first part of your new fic (which I command everyone else to read), and it was hilarious. Eagerly awaiting more. Again, I tried to get the plot out of the gate as early on as possible, because I have a lot of material for this story. Hope I can keep you interested, and thanks as always for commenting. Oh yeah, and I know I'm not gonna win the PEELie...it's definitely a tie between you and Layla. Layla probably has the most readers, but you've been around longer and have written more. You're both awesome, and the best of luck to you both.

Philip_J_Fry: Thanks as always for reading! I hope you enjoy what's to come.

Layla: In the next part, we actually get some more backstory on Leela that should explain more why she wants Fry to run for mayor. Oh yeah, and the mutant sedition thing isn't a rip-off of your stuff per se (although it can be called that) I just needed three unjust things that would make Leela mad. What better than animals, oil spills, and mutants? The answer? Lots of things, but I'm lazy and that's all I could think of...

say what now: No need for excuses, I'm just happy to find that I have another reader. I'm hilarious, eh? Seriously, you're too kind. I'm just happy to at least be mildly entertaining. Thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad you think this new idea is awesome possum. (I was quite tickled by that...and I don't laugh out loud at stuff I read unless it's really funny).

zomit: Thanks for reading, as always. I hope you like what's to come!
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #210 on: 01-29-2005 15:08 »

Oh Gorky, no no no no! I wasn't accusing you of anything dear, just teasing you a bit. I thought all three were great choices, perfect for Leela.
I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression... I didn't mean to. After all, mutants are a huge part of the show, especially where Leela's concerned.
 I'm looking forward to the backstory, and to your next part in general of course!

Really, I'm sorry! frown
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #211 on: 01-29-2005 15:26 »
« Last Edit on: 01-29-2005 15:26 »

Oh, I know that...just a joke. I was just saying that I was aware of the fact that it was a lot like what you did in your fic. No need to be sorry!   smile

Uh...I mean...yeah, I was really offended! I'm gonna be mad at you until you update your fic! So write, write like the wind, Layla!   wink

EDIT: By the way, I just sent my fic out to TLZ. It should probably be up by the end of the weekend.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #212 on: 02-01-2005 06:31 »

Screw actually having a perfectly reasonable excuse as to why I don't have a new part for you! I'm too dumb to make this next part funnier, so I'm not posting it yet. I promise, though, that it will be out by the end of the week.

Anyway, I also feel the need to plug my new fic, Single, Uptight Female, which is now up at TLZ.

Anyone know the parody now?...
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #213 on: 02-06-2005 21:53 »

Do I dare attempt the triple-post?

(*Dramatic pause*)

I dare.

Anyway, guys, I'm sorry that I've been gone for almost a week. I was really trying to finish this latest part, but I kept running into problems, and I wanted to make it at least a little bit bareable.

And so this is the result of 7+ days of almost slightly strenuous finger stroking on my keyboard. Now, I personally think it's contrived and unfunny and weird and tedious all at the same time, but I also think that this is as good as it's gonna get. I would really love to hear what you guys have to say...partly because I don't place a whole lot of trust in my own judgement, but mostly because I place a helluva lot of my trust in your guys' judgement.

So judge away...

----------------------------

(Cut to Fry, Bender, and Leela. The three of them are walking on the sidewalk outside of the Mayor’s Office, towards the Planet Express ship, which is parked a few yards away. Leela appears to be deep in thought, and she looks a bit regretful.)

Fry: Leela, what just happened back there?

(Leela ignores him, still thinking.)

Bender: (eagerly) You mean you don’t remember? Because if you don’t remember, good ol’ Bender can replay the whole thing.

(He presses down on his antenna and a video tape pops out of his mouth, like a tape being ejected from a VCR. He holds it up in front of Fry’s face proudly.)

Fry: I know what happened—I just want to hear it from Leela’s mouth.

Bender: (pleadingly) But I have the footage…you can just watch the tape!

Fry: (annoyed) I don’t want to watch the tape—I want Leela to say it!

Bender: (dejected) Aww…what’s the use of being great if no one cares?

(He pops the tape back in his mouth.)

Fry: So, why did you do that, Leela?

(Leela decides to finally answer him. She sits down on the curb. Fry and Bender join her.)

Leela: (sighs) Look Fry, I had more than one reason for what I did back there.

Fry: What do you mean?

Leela: Well, I was really mad about all those forms and the stupid mayor and all that stuff, but there was another reason.

Fry: What do you mean?

Leela: (she takes a deep breath) There’s something about my past that I’ve never told anyone. It’s…

Fry: (interrupting; excitedly) Ooo, a secret! Lemme guess what it is! Lemme guess, lemme guess, lemme guess!

Leela: (annoyed) Fine!

Fry: Okay…um…does it have something to do with exotic dancing?

Leela: (defensively) No!

Fry: Oh. (beat) I got nothin’.

Leela: Look, when I was growing up at the Orphanarium…

Bender: Ugh…not another one of these stories! (to Fry) I’m gonna go get wasted. Fish me out of the gutter when she’s done.

Fry: Gotcha.

(Bender gets up and leaves. Fry inches a little bit closer to Leela and puts his arm around her shoulder.)

Fry: (in a comforting tone) So…tell me all about what happened at the Orphanarium.

Leela: Okay, but you have to promise you won’t interrupt.

Fry: No problem.

Leela: Oh, and Fry?

Fry: Yeah?

Leela: (through gritted teeth) Get your arm off of me before I do it the old fashioned way.

Fry: (apprehensively) Right!

(He takes his arm off of her and scoots a few inches away from her.)

Leela: Anyway…

(The screen dissolves to an exterior shot of the Orphanarium.)

Leela (v.o.): When I was eight years old, the Orphanarium had a mock election. Whoever won would get to be in charge of everything for a day.

(Cut to an eight-year old Leela, putting up posters that read “Vote for Leela” in the hallways of the Orphanarium.)

Leela (v.o.): I thought that an election would be a great opportunity for people to see the real me; maybe make some friends.

Fry: (v.o.): Wait, wait, wait…

(The shot of Leela cuts back to Fry and Leela in the present day, sitting on the curb.)

Fry: How would running for any type of political position let people know the real you? Isn’t the whole point of running for office to hide the real you?

Leela: Well, yeah, I guess…

Fry: So it makes no sense!

Leela: (defensively) Yeah, so…you drink toilet water!

Fry: That was just the one time!

Leela: Yeah, whatever you say, toilet boy. Now let me finish my story!

Fry: Yes, Mr. Leela.

Leela: Thank you. Anyway…

(The screen dissolves to Leela handing out flyers that read “Vote Leela” to various children that pass her out on the playground.)

Leela (v.o.): Everything was almost going mildly well…

(An orphan boy, Elmer, passes by Leela.)

Leela: Vote for Leela!

(She hands Elmer a flyer, and he crumbles it up in his hand.)

Elmer: Yeah, like I’d vote for a one-eye like you!

Leela: Oh, c’mon, Elmer, vote for me!

Elmer: What’s in it for me, freak?

Leela: Um…if you promise to vote for me, I’ll give you (her eye spots something on the ground and she points to it) that microwave burrito!

(She picks up said burrito (still in the wrapper) from the ground.)

Elmer: Is it low-carb or regular?

Leela: (looking at the wrapper) Regular.

Elmer: Yeah, right, One-Eye!

(Elmer laughs maliciously and walks past a dejected Leela.)

Leela (v.o.): Like I said, I almost had a shot at winning. Until…

(The camera, still on the younger version of Leela, pans over a few feet to another girl, Susie Meyer. She is a young girl, the same age as Leela, and she is the absolute epitome of a normal eight-year old schoolgirl. We see that she, too, is handing out flyers, which read, “Vote for Susie Meyer—She’s got two eyes and knows how to use ‘em!” Elmer, still laughing, passes by Susie.)

Susie: Susie Meyer, future political slimeball. Vote for me in this week’s election!

Elmer: Why should I vote for you?

Susie: Because I’m not her!

(Susie points to someone off-camera, and Elmer looks in the direction she points in. The camera pans over to a girl walking around. Something catches her eye, and she picks it up.)

Girl: Ooo, a burrito! (she looks it over) Eww…regular! (She tosses it aside)

(Cut back to Elmer and Susie, looking on.)

Elmer: You’re not Laura Dinkins?

Susie: Over there, Einstein-bot!

(She points to someone else off-camera. We pan to Leela, handing a flyer out to a Hispanic-looking young boy.)

Leela: (somewhat confused) Um…El Vote-o for el Lee-lo…

(Cut back to Susie and Elmer.)

Elmer: Oh…

Susie: So, will you vote for me?

Elmer: That depends…if I decide to vote for you, can I scream it out loud, for no apparent reason, thus forcing my opinions on to others?

Susie: Sure…it saves me the trouble of forcing you to do it.

Elmer: Alrighty, then. (screaming) Hey everybody, I’m gonna vote for Susie Meyer!

(All of the children on the playground turn around and murmur in excitement. They run over towards Susie, and we pan along with them as they do so. On our way, we happen to see Leela and the young Hispanic boy.)

Boy: (mockingly) “El Vote-o”? Give me a break!

(He runs off towards Susie with the rest of the kids, leaving Leela all alone.)

(Cut back to Fry and Leela in the present day. Fry has a sympathetic look on his face.)

Fry: I’m sorry, Leela—that must have been tough for you.

(He reaches over to put his hand on her shoulder, but Leela turns to him, her eye narrowed.)

Leela: (hostile) Fry, do you like having a left hand?

Fry: (nervously gulps) Yes.

Leela: Well, if you want to keep it, then put it back in your pocket and keep it away from me.

Fry: (nervous laugh) Right.

Leela: Good boy. Now, as I was saying…

(The screen dissolves to the sort of gymnasium/auditorium…place of the Orphanarium. (You know, the room where Leela accepted her award in “Leela’s Homeworld”.) There is a podium set up on a stage, and behind it, both Leela and Susie are seated. There is a sign behind them that reads, “Election Results Today” with “If you forgot to vote, there’s no government provided food-like dinner for you” printed in smaller letters. Children are seated on the floor before the stage. They are all very rowdy as the Warden of the Orphanarium walks on stage. The Warden notices this, and puts his hands up to silence the kids.)

Warden: Okay, children, I know we’re all excited to hear the results of the election, but you have to quiet down first.

Kid in the Audience (o.s.): Take this!

(A spitball comes flying at the Warden, but he ducks out of its path. The rowdiness in the audience continues.)

Warden: Now, now, children. I’m just asking you to simmer down for a moment so we can hear the election results. (laughs) And besides, that spitball’s not going to do much damage to a grown man like myself.

Kid in the Audience (o.s.): Oh, right—sorry.

(We hear the crack of a baseball bat from off-screen, and, wouldn’t you know it, a baseball flies towards the Warden. This time, it hits him right in the middle of his forehead, and he goes down like a bowling pin.)

(There’s a whiteout, then we fade back in to the same scene. The only difference this time around is that the sign behind the girls on the stage reads “Election Results Yesterday”, with smaller print reading, “Any child who attempts to knock the Warden out with a spitball, baseball, or a really big rock will be punished accordingly”.  This time around, the audience is perfectly silent when the Warden walks on stage (this time with a bandaged head and wobbly steps) and takes his place in front of the podium.)

Warden: (woozy) Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and Goldie Hawn over there (he points towards the back of the audience). I probably shouldn’t be here, because the really scary man with the stetho-ma-scope thing said I have a concussion…whatever that is. But, I told him that I have an obligation to you kids, and he said he admired my dedication and then he gave me this lolly. (he holds up a swirly lollipop proudly) So anyway, today we’re here to hear the results of yesterday’s election. Now, you had the choice of voting for either Marilyn Monroe over there (he points to Susie) or Batman over there (he points to Leela). Personally, I thought that both of them were terrible choices, so I wrote in for Adolph Hitler. Funny story about Hitler—he bought me my first banana boat, which is what that awful song was all about. Anyway, the boat was five hundred feet long, and it was shaped like a big pe--

(A voice from off-screen cuts him off.)

Voice (o.s.): That’s it.

(A woman walks on stage and pulls the Warden away from the microphone.)

Warden: (woozy) What’d I do? I was just standing here, talking about Abraham Lincoln and Underdog, and then you had to come over here and tell me that you’re making me move to Finland? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! I’m going to bed!

(The Warden falls asleep in the woman’s arms, and, obviously uncomfortable with the situation, she drops him on the floor and kicks him off to the side. She then moves to the podium.)

Woman: Okay, children, um…the Warden’s taking a nap, so I’m going to tell you the results of the election.

(She opens up an envelope that was sitting on the podium.)

Woman: And the winner is…Susie Meyer! Susie, that means that you get to run the Orphanarium for a day. (under her breath) Which is a good thing, because Paul over there needs a day off. So, Susie, you’re in charge for the rest of today. Have fun!

(The Woman walks off-stage.)

Woman: (muttering as she exits the stage) I need a drink…

(Susie takes the podium.)

Susie: Thank you to everyone that voted for me. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Leela, for an honest effort.

(An obviously upset Leela’s face brightens a little.)

Susie (cont.): I’d like to, but why would I congratulate a one-eyed freak?!

(The audience, along with Susie, goes wild. They all share a long, hearty laugh at Leela’s expense. The eight-year old Leela runs off-stage, crying.)

(Cut back to Fry and Leela, who looks like she could be near tears.)

Fry: (sincere) Leela…I’m so sorry.

Leela: Ever since that day, I’ve been wanting to get back at that Susie Meyer. And now I can.

Fry: What?

Leela: Susie Meyer’s name was on those forms we saw back at the Mayor’s office. She must be working for him now…

Fry: How convenient…

Leela (cont.): …So now I…er…you can finally give her a taste of her own medicine. Think you’re up to it?

Fry: No. But that’s never stopped me before, why should it now?

Leela: Thanks, Fry.

Fry: No problem.

(He puts his hand on hers. She stares down at it, then looks back up at Fry, a bit annoyed.)

Fry: (nervously) A-heh, you still don’t like that, do you?

Leela: No.

Fry: That’s what I thought.

(He pulls his hand away nervously and laughs.)

----------------------------

I hope you guys at least enjoyed that a little bit. I think it still may need some retooling, but it is what it is for now.

Oh, and, by the way, congrats to all that won PEELies! Bergey, I knew you'd win for fanfictionist (you deserved it)--better luck next time, Layla...just remember how awesome you are. And sorry about the loss, Venus--you're still #1 in my metaphorical book...

 
Philp_J_Fry

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #214 on: 02-06-2005 22:30 »

Great work as always. Update soon and keep up the good work!
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #215 on: 02-06-2005 22:36 »

Well the way i see it, if i kill the other three nominees, i should have it in the bag for next year. In anycase i liked your update. The repeated 'don't touch me gag' was a scream. So was the non-low-carb burrito. I could be wrong but i don't think what happened between Leela and Susie was severe enough to make Leela react as she is. Maybe you could have Susie doing something during her reign to specifically discriminate against Leela or something. By age 8 she should be pretty used to being humiliated by other orphans.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #216 on: 02-07-2005 17:14 »

Philip_J_Fry: Thanks, man! I should have another update up by the end of the week (of course, we all know that my predictions like that are never correct), and, as always, thanks for your input.

Venus: Yes...murder is always the correct response in these types of situations. I wish you godspeed, Venus. Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoyed this last part, although you brought up an interesting point: was Susie mean enough for Leela to react the way she did? Well, after rereading this last part, I decided that Susie's actions really didn't justify Leela's disdain. So, here's a new and (hopefully) improved version of this last part. I hope it makes Leela behavior a bit more credible. Enjoy...

---------------------------------

(Cut to Fry, Bender, and Leela. The three of them are walking on the sidewalk outside of the Mayor’s Office, towards the Planet Express ship, which is parked a few yards away. Leela appears to be deep in thought, and she looks a bit regretful.)

Fry: Leela, what just happened back there?

(Leela ignores him, still thinking.)

Bender: (eagerly) You mean you don’t remember? Because if you don’t remember, good ol’ Bender can replay the whole thing.

(He presses down on his antenna and a video tape pops out of his mouth, like a tape being ejected from a VCR. He holds it up in front of Fry’s face proudly.)

Fry: I know what happened—I just want to hear it from Leela’s mouth.

Bender: (pleadingly) But I have the footage…you can just watch the tape!

Fry: (annoyed) I don’t want to watch the tape—I want Leela to say it!

Bender: (dejected) Aww…what’s the use of being great if no one cares?

(He pops the tape back in his mouth.)

Fry: So, why did you do that, Leela?

(Leela decides to finally answer him. She sits down on the curb. Fry and Bender join her.)

Leela: (sighs) Look Fry, I had more than one reason for what I did back there.

Fry: What do you mean?

Leela: Well, I was really mad about all those forms and the stupid mayor and all that stuff, but there was another reason.

Fry: What do you mean?

Leela: (she takes a deep breath) There’s something about my past that I’ve never told anyone. It’s…

Fry: (interrupting; excitedly) Ooo, a secret! Lemme guess what it is! Lemme guess, lemme guess, lemme guess!

Leela: (annoyed) Fine!

Fry: Okay…um…does it have something to do with exotic dancing?

Leela: (defensively) No!

Fry: Oh. (beat) I got nothin’.

Leela: Look, when I was growing up at the Orphanarium…

Bender: Ugh…not another one of these stories! (to Fry) I’m gonna go get wasted. Fish me out of the gutter when she’s done.

Fry: Gotcha.

(Bender gets up and leaves. Fry inches a little bit closer to Leela and puts his arm around her shoulder.)

Fry: (in a comforting tone) So…tell me all about what happened at the Orphanarium.

Leela: Okay, but you have to promise you won’t interrupt.

Fry: No problem.

Leela: Oh, and Fry?

Fry: Yeah?

Leela: (through gritted teeth) Get your arm off of me before I do it the old fashioned way.

Fry: (apprehensively) Right!

(He takes his arm off of her and scoots a few inches away from her.)

Leela: Anyway…

(The screen dissolves to an exterior shot of the Orphanarium.)

Leela (v.o.): When I was eight years old, the Orphanarium had a mock election. Whoever won would get to be in charge of everything for a day.

(Cut to an eight-year old Leela, putting up posters that read “Vote for Leela” in the hallways of the Orphanarium.)

Leela (v.o.): I thought that an election would be a great opportunity for people to see the real me; maybe make some friends.

Fry: (v.o.): Wait, wait, wait…

(The shot of Leela cuts back to Fry and Leela in the present day, sitting on the curb.)

Fry: How would running for any type of political position let people know the real you? Isn’t the whole point of running for office to hide the real you?

Leela: Well, yeah, I guess…

Fry: So it makes no sense!

Leela: (defensively) Yeah, so…you drink toilet water!

Fry: That was just the one time!

Leela: Yeah, whatever you say, toilet boy. Now let me finish my story!

Fry: Yes, Mr. Leela.

Leela: Thank you. Anyway…

(The screen dissolves to Leela handing out flyers that read “Vote Leela” to various children that pass her out on the playground.)

Leela (v.o.): Everything was almost going mildly well…

(An orphan boy, Elmer, passes by Leela.)

Leela: Vote for Leela!

(She hands Elmer a flyer, and he crumbles it up in his hand.)

Elmer: Yeah, like I’d vote for a one-eye like you!

Leela: Oh, c’mon, Elmer, vote for me!

Elmer: What’s in it for me, freak?

Leela: Um…if you promise to vote for me, I’ll give you (her eye spots something on the ground and she points to it) that microwave burrito!

(She picks up said burrito (still in the wrapper) from the ground.)

Elmer: Is it low-carb or regular?

Leela: (looking at the wrapper) Regular.

Elmer: Yeah, right, One-Eye!

(Elmer laughs maliciously and walks past a dejected Leela.)

Leela (v.o.): Like I said, I almost had a shot at winning. Until…

(The camera, still on the younger version of Leela, pans over a few feet to another girl, Susie Meyer. She is a young girl, the same age as Leela, and she is the absolute epitome of a normal eight-year old schoolgirl. We see that she, too, is handing out flyers, which read, “Vote for Susie Meyer—She’s got two eyes and knows how to use ‘em!” Elmer, still laughing, passes by Susie.)

Susie: Susie Meyer, future political slimeball. Vote for me in this week’s election!

Elmer: Why should I vote for you?

Susie: Because I’m not her!

(Susie points to someone off-camera, and Elmer looks in the direction she points in. The camera pans over to a girl walking around. Something catches her eye, and she picks it up.)

Girl: Ooo, a burrito! (she looks it over) Eww…regular! (She tosses it aside)

(Cut back to Elmer and Susie, looking on.)

Elmer: You’re not Laura Dinkins?

Susie: Over there, Einstein-bot!

(She points to someone else off-camera. We pan to Leela, handing a flyer out to a Hispanic-looking young boy.)

Leela: (somewhat confused) Um…El Vote-o for el Lee-lo…

(Cut back to Susie and Elmer.)

Elmer: Oh…

Susie: So, will you vote for me?

Elmer: That depends…if I decide to vote for you, can I scream it out loud, for no apparent reason, thus forcing my opinions on to others?

Susie: Sure…it saves me the trouble of forcing you to do it.

Elmer: Alrighty, then. (screaming) Hey everybody, I’m gonna vote for Susie Meyer!

(All of the children on the playground turn around and murmur in excitement. They run over towards Susie, and we pan along with them as they do so. On our way, we happen to see Leela and the young Hispanic boy.)

Boy: (mockingly) “El Vote-o”? Give me a break!

(He runs off towards Susie with the rest of the kids, leaving Leela all alone.)

(Cut back to Fry and Leela in the present day. Fry has a sympathetic look on his face.)

Fry: I’m sorry, Leela—that must have been tough for you.

(He reaches over to put his hand on her shoulder, but Leela turns to him, her eye narrowed.)

Leela: (hostile) Fry, do you like having a left hand?

Fry: (nervously gulps) Yes.

Leela: Well, if you want to keep it, then put it back in your pocket and keep it away from me.

Fry: (nervous laugh) Right.

Leela: Good boy. Now, as I was saying…

(The screen dissolves to the sort of gymnasium/auditorium…place of the Orphanarium. (You know, the room where Leela accepted her award in “Leela’s Homeworld”.) There is a podium set up on a stage, and behind it, both Leela and Susie are seated. There is a sign behind them that reads, “Election Results Today” with “If you forgot to vote, there’s no government provided food-like dinner for you” printed in smaller letters. Children are seated on the floor before the stage. They are all very rowdy as the Warden of the Orphanarium walks on stage. The Warden notices this, and puts his hands up to silence the kids.)

Warden: Okay, children, I know we’re all excited to hear the results of the election, but you have to quiet down first.

Kid in the Audience (o.s.): Take this!

(A spitball comes flying at the Warden, but he ducks out of its path. The rowdiness in the audience continues.)

Warden: Now, now, children. I’m just asking you to simmer down for a moment so we can hear the election results. (laughs) And besides, that spitball’s not going to do much damage to a grown man like myself.

Kid in the Audience (o.s.): Oh, right—sorry.

(We hear the crack of a baseball bat from off-screen, and, wouldn’t you know it, a baseball flies towards the Warden. This time, it hits him right in the middle of his forehead, and he goes down like a bowling pin.)

(There’s a whiteout, then we fade back in to the same scene. The only difference this time around is that the sign behind the girls on the stage reads “Election Results Yesterday”, with smaller print reading, “Any child who attempts to knock the Warden out with a spitball, baseball, or a really big rock will be punished accordingly”.  This time around, the audience is perfectly silent when the Warden walks on stage (this time with a bandaged head and wobbly steps) and takes his place in front of the podium.)

Warden: (woozy) Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and Goldie Hawn over there (he points towards the back of the audience). I probably shouldn’t be here, because the really scary man with the stetho-ma-scope thing said I have a concussion…whatever that is. But, I told him that I have an obligation to you kids, and he said he admired my dedication and then he gave me this lolly. (he holds up a swirly lollipop proudly) So anyway, today we’re here to hear the results of yesterday’s election. Now, you had the choice of voting for either Marilyn Monroe over there (he points to Susie) or Batman over there (he points to Leela). Personally, I thought that both of them were terrible choices, so I wrote in for Adolph Hitler. Funny story about Hitler—he bought me my first banana boat, which is what that awful song was all about. Anyway, the boat was five hundred feet long, and it was shaped like a big pe--

(A voice from off-screen cuts him off.)

Voice (o.s.): That’s it.

(A woman walks on stage and pulls the Warden away from the microphone.)

Warden: (woozy) What’d I do? I was just standing here, talking about Abraham Lincoln and Underdog, and then you had to come over here and tell me that you’re making me move to Finland? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! I’m going to bed!

(The Warden falls asleep in the woman’s arms, and, obviously uncomfortable with the situation, she drops him on the floor and kicks him off to the side. She then moves to the podium.)

Woman: Okay, children, um…the Warden’s taking a nap, so I’m going to tell you the results of the election.

(She opens up an envelope that was sitting on the podium.)

Woman: And the winner is…Susie Meyer! Susie, that means that you get to run the Orphanarium for a day. (under her breath) Which is a good thing, because Paul over there needs a day off. So, Susie, you’re in charge for the rest of today. Have fun!

(The Woman walks off-stage.)

Woman: (muttering as she exits the stage) I need a drink…

(Susie takes the podium.)

Susie: Thank you to everyone that voted for me. I would like to congratulate my opponent, Leela, for an honest effort.

(An obviously upset Leela’s face brightens a little.)

Susie (cont.): I’d like to, but why would I congratulate a one-eyed freak?!

(The audience, along with Susie, goes wild. They all share a long, hearty laugh at Leela’s expense. While she looks a bit upset, Leela is pretty much undaunted by the remark. Noticing this, Susie turns to Leela when the ruckus dies down.)

Susie: Um…One-Eye? Don’t you care that I just zinged you in front of the entire Orphanarium?

Leela: Not really. You know what they say: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but only gamma radiation can hurt me.

Susie: Yeah, right, you big fat one-eyed freak!

(The audience once again is amused by this, but Leela is indifferent to their laughter. When the kids calm down again, a smug Susie turns back to Leela.)

Susie: Still nothing?

Leela: Uh-uh.

Susie: (annoyed) Fine, One-Eye! Who cares what you think—I’m still in charge! (she realizes something) And that means I can do whatever I want!

Leela: So?

Susie: So (she clears her throat and turns to the audience) for my first act as…um…

(Cut to a woman off stage.)

Woman: (whispering to Susie) Orphanarium…In-Charge…Lady!

(Cut back to Susie.)

Susie: …Orphanarium In-Charge Lady, I decree that anyone with one eye isn’t allowed to hang around with anyone with two eyes, and…um…they have to eat dirt everyday at 12:47!

Leela: But…but…

Susie: Upp, upp, upp—nothing you can do about it, freak!

(The audience cheers. Leela’s eye starts to well up, and she begins to cry.)

(Cut to Leela out on the playground, standing all by herself while all of the other kids are playing.)

Leela (v.o.): For two whole years, nobody would even talk to me…not even to call me One-Eye or Cyclops or Dirty McDirt Eater. It was awful.

(Cut back to Fry and Leela, who looks like she could be near tears.)

Fry: (sincere) Leela…I’m so sorry.

Leela: Ever since that day, I’ve been wanting to get back at that Susie Meyer. And now I can.

Fry: What?

Leela: Susie Meyer’s name was on those forms we saw back at the Mayor’s office. She must be working for him now…

Fry: How convenient…

Leela (cont.): …So now I…er…you can finally give her a taste of her own medicine. Think you’re up to it?

Fry: No. But that’s never stopped me before, why should it now?

Leela: Thanks, Fry.

Fry: No problem.

(He puts his hand on hers. She stares down at it, then looks back up at Fry, a bit annoyed.)

Fry: (nervously) A-heh, you still don’t like that, do you?

Leela: No.

Fry: That’s what I thought.

(He pulls his hand away nervously and laughs.)

------------------------

Well, I hope that that's at least a bit of an improvement. And if it isn't, please don't be afraid to tell me so...I know there's loads of room for improvement.

 
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #217 on: 02-07-2005 18:17 »

muuuch better.
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #218 on: 02-07-2005 18:43 »

Ohhhhh... how sadly funny.
Charles RB

Crustacean
*
« Reply #219 on: 02-07-2005 19:54 »

Ah, Young!Leela's suffering hideous cruelty and it's funny! I love it!    big grin
PJ

Crustacean
*
« Reply #220 on: 02-08-2005 03:38 »

man the revised part was just as funny as the rest of your fanfic.

hehehehehe dirty mcdirt eater......brings back childhood memories.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #221 on: 02-09-2005 16:27 »

Working on the fic as I speak (or type...whatever), so the next part should be out soon. But, I've boxed myself into sort of a mini-corner, so, until I can box myself into another corner (i.e., solve the problem I've created for myself), I'll just respond to you guys (like Layla said in her thread, individual response things are loads of fun to do).

Venus: Yes, I have appeased the mighty one! Glad you liked the revised version (2.0). Anyway, because I've been meaning to ask, how's the fic coming? I mean, I know the chances of it being done soon are, like, a bazillion to one, but I'm just curious. Thanks as always for your input.

say what now: Sadly funny, eh? Thank you sir...er...mam--that's exactly what I was going for. Anyway, on a totally unrelated note, I just read that your computer is dead (Once again, I learned this in Layla's thread...man, is that thing educational!), and I'd just like to say that I know what you're going through and I feel your pain. Sorry 'bout that. Still, glad you got to comment here, and thanks for your input as well.

Charles RB: Hey, a new reader! Welcome to PEEL! Anyway, I'm so happy to see that you like this, and I hope I can keep you here for the rest of the ride.

PJ: Hey, another new reader...I think. I don't know if you've ever commented here before (although I don't think you have)--my memory sucks. Anyway, it's great to hear that you like this thing so far. Oh yeah, and, needless to say, Dirty McDirt Eater was based on some (painful) childhood memories...
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #222 on: 02-09-2005 17:30 »

Hey, Gorky! Sorry I've been so long about this. I'm having trouble focusing on anything for a long time thanks to the flu.
Naturally, I loved this, and you know, in all honesty, I think this might end up being your best story yet.

Nice call back to Bender as tape recorder. Also, I loved this line:
 
Quote
Bender: (dejected) Aww…what’s the use of being great if no one cares?
Great Bender writing, great writing in general all the way through!
Oh, and this one!
 
Quote
Bender: Ugh…not another one of these stories! (to Fry) I’m gonna go get wasted. Fish me out of the gutter when she’s done.

Nice Fry and Leela interaction (exotic dancing, haha!), sweet and funny at the same time.

There are so many wonderful ideas in this fic, like the Orphanarium elections.
 
Quote
Leela (v.o.): Everything was almost going mildly well…

I love pessimistic/pragmatic Leela.
I also love the "I'm not Leela" election campaign.
You really made the warder scene funny too, good job. His ramblings really cracked me up.
I also enjoyed how completely saucy susie is. If I were to guess that she come back as an adult, would I be completely off base?

Oh, nevermind, I just reread that. Blame it on the fever.

Poor, brave, little, isolated, dirt- eating, Leela. (Cute gamma radiation line!)
(You make me want to get a start on writing that story of Leela's prom. I'm just scared it'll turn into another epic.) If I'd wrote Roots, the movie premier would still be playing.

Back to you, wonderful, talented, highly amusing, cheering sick people up type person! Thank you for giving Fry a sincere moment. He's so cute when he does that. (No, I do not have a crush on millions of drawings.)

Poor Leela... can't wait for her sweet revenge, Gorky!

say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #223 on: 02-09-2005 19:33 »

Glad I reacted correctly! As for the computer thing, chyeah, it's painful, as I'm sure you know   cry . I miss my beloved. But I shall continue to hog my father's computer so I can continue to read and comment on your updates  big grin.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #224 on: 02-09-2005 20:12 »

Yes! I have appeased the mighty one! Now she won't tear off my head and lay her eggs in my neck! Weeeeee!

I am actively writing again. I added another 4 pages a day or so ago which almost never happens. It's going to be a while still, but if it's any consolation i'm going to start releasing chapters before i completely finish the fic anyway so you won't be waiting as long as you would have had i decided to wait and release it all in one go.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #225 on: 02-09-2005 20:39 »

Damn you, writers' block! You win this round!

(That means that this next part is taking longer than I thought to write...but it should be done soon enough.)

Layla: I'm so sorry...the flu, huh? I've never had it (knock on...this sort of psuedo-wood that this desk is made out of), but I'm awfully sorry, nonetheless. Hope you feel better soon. Anyway, I'd be happy if this ended up being one of the better things I've done, because I like to improve a little bit with every new thing I write. We shall see. Also, Bender writing is incredibly difficult for me (when you do it, it's seemingly instinctive, but for me, it's really hard), so I'm glad to hear that you liked it! (I think we're getting good at that mutual ego boosting thing Bergey was talking about a while ago...someplace, by the way.) Also, Bender's "I'm gonna go get wasted..." thing was almost cut, because, technically, it makes no sense. (Bender needs alcohol to function correctly, so a better line would have been, "I'm gonna go get blind stinkin' sober!" but that's not as "funny", is it?) Anyway, now's the point where I'm forced to encourage you to write that Leela prom story thing! Who cares if it becomes an epic? Believe me, I know what it's like...whenever I write prose, it ends up about 10x longer then I expect. But what's it matter--long is good! Write, good woman, write! Umm...I'm gonna go to my happy place now...

say what now: Ah, yes, what are fathers for but to mooch computer time off of? Glad to hear that you're gonna stick around this thread--you're one funny gal yourself. Incidentally, have you ever thought of writing a fic? (I'd read it!) I mean, I'm just thinking out loud here but, with the right idea, I think you could write a high-quality fic. So what do you think?

Venus: Me, the mighty one? Oh no, maddam, I can't accept that title. (However, you're putting ideas in my head with the tearing off of the head and then laying eggs in the neck and whatnot--don't tempt me, woman!  tongue) As for the writing, great job. Four pages is excellent, especially when you consider the fact that, last time I asked, you wrote three paragraphs or so! Still can't wait for you to start releasing this thing--as soon as Layla finishes up with her fic, right? Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait...

 
PJ

Crustacean
*
« Reply #226 on: 02-09-2005 20:45 »

ya that was the first time i posted here.....but from the looks of this sfanfic and the others you have written i will be posting here more.

(PHEW) i always through i was the only person to ever be forced to eat dirt by a older sibling......but i laugh at the pictures now plus he got his in the end.  big grin

hhmmmm so many clever things could be written here i just dunno what to put..........(sigh)
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #227 on: 02-09-2005 20:52 »
« Last Edit on: 02-09-2005 20:52 »

Awww... you think I'm funny? Thank you! I've always had the self-conscious feeling that I come across as a lame-o on PEEL. As for the fanfic suggestion (it seems like now I'm in on getting the ego boosts!), it really means a lot to me that you think I can write one. I've always been afraid that Futurama was too witty for me to write, but I'm actually going to start writing my first fanfic soon- hopefully when my computer is resurrected.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that meant a lot to me, Gorky! I've always thought you were really funny and cool, so quite obviously this has made me happy   smile.

I have to edit when sentences don't make sense.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #228 on: 02-09-2005 21:07 »
« Last Edit on: 02-09-2005 21:07 »

Hmm...I'm bored. Should I actually do work, or respond to you two?

*Eyes dart towards so-called work, then to computer, then to work again, then back to computer, then to a cute little puppy, then back to the computer*

And this is what I've decided to do...

PJ: Neat-o Calvin sig there, man! (I am, like, a huge Calvin and Hobbes dorky-type person...of course, I'm also a regular dorky-type person as well.) I thought that was your first post, but I always second guess myself because it's a huge time-sucker-upper...and I like huge time-sucker-uppers. Hope you enjoy what's to come, and thank you so much for the comments! Oh yeah, and burn on older siblings...the geek...er...meek shall inherit the Earth!

say what now: I think you're hilarious! Seriously, you make me laugh 97.17% of the time*. No need to be self-coscious at all. And yes, welcome to the Garden of Ego-Boosting, population you, Layla, Venus, Bergey, me, and anyone else who likes to walk around like a big pompous dimwit, which I can safely say we all do (  tongue). Seriously though, I can't wait to see a fic from you--I'm sure it would be great. Also, I'm funny and cool? Give me a break: you're the one who's funny and cool (thanks though...that means so much to me). <--See...we got the whole ego-boosting thing going on here.

*Useless statistics suck*   
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #229 on: 02-13-2005 18:33 »

The double-posting demons are calling me over to the dark side...must break free from their strong, tantalizing grasp...can't...do...it...

I hate the idea of double-posting (which goes against the totally justified popular belief that I do it just because people think I'm a conceited jerk...which is also a totally justified thought), but I have an almost-almost-(almost) good reason. That's right, I have an update. Sorry this took so long to get out, but I hope you like it. It's sort of weird (but so am I), but I kind of like it, for some reason. I hope you guys do, too.

------------------------------

(Cut to the exterior of the Planet Express Building, a little while later.)

Hermes (v.o.): You did what!?

(Cut to the PE conference room. The whole crew is seated at the table, in their usual spots, with Hermes at the head. He is glaring at Amy.)

Amy: Spluh! For the last time, I borrowed your stupid stapler! Here!

(She hands Hermes the stapler.)

Hermes: Thank you. Now, back to what I should be screaming about…

(Hermes turns to Leela.)

Hermes: You did what!?

Leela: I decided to decide for Fry that he would run for Mayor.

Hermes: Wait, what?

Leela: Ugh, forget it! Sit down and let me say what I have to say.

Hermes: Fat chance!

Leela: Oh, c’mon, Hermes!

Bender: Yeah, let her talk. Besides, don’t you have a stapler to make out with anyway? (he laughs)

Hermes: Ouch, mon.

(Hermes dejectedly takes Leela’s seat, and Leela in turn takes Hermes place at the head of the table.)

Leela: Okay, everyone, if Fry’s gonna run for mayor…

Fry: I’m running for mayor?

Leela: Yes!

Fry: Alrighty, then.

Leela: Dear Lord. (she sighs) Anyway, if Fry’s gonna run for mayor, we’re all gonna have to really work our butts off to make sure he gets elected. And that means that everyone’s going to have a job.

(Cut to an extreme close-up of Professor Farnsworth’s head.)

Farnsworth: Wait, wait, wait! Last time I checked, you all already had a job: to deliver large packages and occasionally massage my scalp with oily soy-based liquids.

(Pull up from the close-up of Farnsworth to reveal Amy, standing over Farnsworth, massaging his scalp with oily soy-based liquids.)

Amy: This is the career I chose.

(Cut back to Leela.)

Leela: First of all, I think I speak for everyone when I say…Ewww. And second of all, Professor, don’t you still have that Helper Robot?

Farnsworth: What Helper Robot?

Leela: (she sighs) Exactly, that Helper Robot. He can make the deliveries while we work on Fry’s campaign.

Farnsworth: Like hell he will! I’ll make the deliveries!

(Farnsworth gets up out of his seat as forcefully as a geriatric scientist can, then walks slowly towards the hangar. We cut back to Leela.)

Leela: Whatever. Now like I was saying…

(Leela is cut off suddenly by loud snoring. We cut back to the Professor, and see that he has fallen asleep, standing about a foot from his chair. We cut back to Leela, agitated.)

Leela: Hermes?

Hermes: I’m on it.

(Hermes gets up from his seat, and we stay on a shot of the table as we hear loud crashes coming from the Professor’s general direction. After a beat of this, Hermes takes his seat.)

Leela: Thank you. Now, like I was saying: Like I was saying, we all have to be assigned jobs.

(She turns to Bender.)

Leela: Bender, could you zing Hermes again?

Bender: With pleasure. (he clears his throat) Besides, don’t you have a stapler to make out with anyway?

(Cut to Hermes. He is caressing the stapler with his hand, and sweet-talking to it.)

Hermes: (sweetly) There, there, Brenda…you’re back with Daddy now.

(Pull out to reveal that the rest of the crew is staring at Hermes, somewhat disgusted.)

Everyone (sans Hermes): Eww…

Hermes: (nervously) Um…I mean…Bender, mon, I’m offended!

Leela: Um, okay, my point’s kind of lost now, but, Bender, you’re good at pissing people off and making jokes, right?

Bender: Well, I don’t carry this diploma around for nothing.

(Bender opens up his chest compartment and pulls out a framed diploma reading, “Masters Degree from the University of Pissology and Wise-Cracks”.)

Leela: And that’s why you’re going to be Fry’s speechwriter.

Bender: ‘Cause I’m good at making people wish they were dead?

Leela: Exactly. Everyone knows that people only listen to speeches to hear the speaker make the other guy look like an idiot. Your job is to make Mayor Poopenmeyer wish he were dead!

Fry: Hooray!

Bender: What he said!

Leela: Great. (she turns to Amy next, who is back in her seat, wiping something resembling an oily soy-based liquid off of her hands with a towel) And Amy, you’re an engineering intern, right?

Amy: I am?

Leela: Yes!

Amy: Says who?

Leela: Says me! Ugh, look, since you have a background in machinery and stuff, you should be able to help us film Fry’s campaign ads.

Amy: Leela, you know that I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, right?

Leela: No.

Amy: Oh. Well, in that case, I totally understood everything you just said.

Leela: Good. (she turns to Zoidberg) Dr. Zoidberg…

(Cut to an eager-looking Dr. Zoidberg.)

Zoidberg: Ooo, ooo, finally it’s Zoidberg’s turn!

Leela: Um, actually, I was gonna ask you to go get me a nectarine.

Zoidberg: Awww…

Leela: But, now that you mention it, you’d make a perfect intimidator!

Zoidberg: A what?

Leela: An intimidator. You know, you could try to make people vote for Fry by using some sort of forceful persuasion.

Bender: Your face should do the trick!

Leela: That’s the spirit, Bender!

Zoidberg: Awww…(he starts to sob)

Leela: (turning to Hermes) And finally, Hermes, you and the Professor can fill out all the paperwork we’ll need to get Fry in the race.

Hermes: Hooray, paperwork!

Leela: Yeah, whatever. So, I guess that’s it.

Fry: Wait, Leela, I just realized something.

Bender: You did? Very good, Fry. Here, have a cookie.

(Bender hands Fry a cookie, which he got out of his chest compartment.)

Fry: Thanks.

Leela: What did you just realize, Fry?

Fry: You don’t have a job.

Leela: What do you mean? I’m your campaign manager. Was that not clear?

Bender: I think we all know the answer to that question…

Fry: Ooo, is the answer 27?

Bender: (Bender rolls his eyes) Give me back that cookie, Fry.

Fry: No.

Bender: Yes!

(Fry licks the cookie.)

Fry: Like you’re gonna want it now!

Bender: Wanna bet?

(Bender grabs the cookie.)

Fry: Give it back!

Bender: Never!

(Bender gives chase, and Fry runs after him in circles around the table.)

(Pull out to reveal the whole table. The Professor is lying in a heap on the floor, Hermes is patting the stapler on its metaphorical head, Zoidberg is sobbing,  Amy is reading a book called “Engineering for Really Big Dummies”, and Fry and Bender are still running around the table. Leela sighs.)

Leela: I need a drink…

--------------------------------

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed that.

Now, on a totally unrelated-to-the-matter-at-hand note, a while ago, someone (I believe it was Asa_B) asked me if I'd ever finish my first fic. Well, I thought about it, and it came to my attention that my first fic (which was sort of nauseatingly shippy) is something that I'll never be able to finish, because my writing's changed since I first started writing that fic (it's gone from awful to almost bearable). But then, I thought that it would be possible to finish my first fic, but only if I tweaked it a bit. And then I thought that, since Layla's been asking for it, I could rewrite the fic in prose form. Now, your opinion means a lot to me, so that's why I even brought this up. So, do you think you might possibly like to maybe sorta kinda read that same fic in prose form? Mind you, my prose writing is no where near slightly on-par with Layla's or Venus's, but I think I might be able to maybe give it a shot. So, what do you think?
Philp_J_Fry

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #230 on: 02-13-2005 18:42 »

Great chapter, It was really funny. Keep up the great work.

Also, I really think you should continue your first fic, I was wondering what happened to it. It was some of your best work.
PJ

Crustacean
*
« Reply #231 on: 02-13-2005 22:21 »
« Last Edit on: 02-21-2005 00:00 »

Man that chapter was a blast it was just so funny and the humor was so much like the show's....more  i want more  big grin

also ya do what ever ya gotta do to finish your first fic
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #232 on: 02-13-2005 22:55 »

An update, an update for me!!! Whooo! Go, Layla, go Layla! (In real life, I am shy and hiding under a table right now.)

Do you really need to ask me my opinions on you A) finishing the story of happiness and joy, and B) doing it in prose?

Obviously, you have not been paying attention. Yes! Yes! YesYesYesYesYesYESSSSS!! Oh, please? With sugar and marmalade and Canadian Maple syrup on top? Do you want an adorable puppy? big grin (By the way there is no such thing as nauseatingly shippy! mad Oh, wait, there is, even for me. Fiddlesticks. Nevermind. But yours isn't!!! I'm gonna go read it again, so there!)

So, anyway, this latest update was a miasma  wink of wackiness. (Actually, techinically it wasn't.) It was great fun however, with lots of laughs. I am particulary fond of Hermes and Brenda. (No wonder LaBarbara's been fantasizing about a certain penniless lobster doctor.) Bender was really hilarious too, with the repetition of the "zinger".

Actually, the opening with Hermes yelling at someone else entirely was classic comedy, and an out loud laugh from me.

I liked the call back to Helper Robot, and it's also a nice way of freeing the crew up to focus on the campaign.

Not much plot development, but that wasn't the point. Funny set up stuff was, and it was well done.
 
Quote
Originally posted by Gorky:
Leela: Thank you. Now, like I was saying: Like I was saying, we all have to be assigned jobs.
laff Oh, that was great!

 
Quote
(Farnsworth gets up out of his seat as forcefully as a geriatric scientist can, then walks slowly towards the hangar.
Nice wording here Gorky.

I loved Bender's diploma. Very much like a joke you'd hear on the show, in my opinion.

Amy was apparently hit on the head with a barbell in this part, 'cause she's Fry dumb. I will choose to blame it on mental anguish and trauma from the oily soy-based liquid massage.

 
Quote
Amy: This is the career I chose.
Now that was an absolute scream. I'm still laughing about that line, Gorky.

I liked Fry and the cookie, and I loved the pull out from the general chaos after the meeting. I also love the way Leela is completely in charge here, and Fry just hangs out on the periphery. (Fry is sooo lucky I'm not writing this story. He would be in for serious anguish if I were.)

Well done, as always Gorky! Hoorah!

Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #233 on: 02-14-2005 21:24 »

Philp_J_Fry: I'm so happy that you're enjoying this! Also, thanks for your input on my first fic (seriously, you think it's some of my best work?--you're much to kind), and I guess you'll be happy to know that I've decided to rewrite it in prose form. Thanks as always, man.

PJ: I could practically copy/paste what I said to P_J_F here...you're both far too kind, and the fact that you take the time to read this stuff means so much to me. PJ, thanks so much for your input, and, as I said before, I'm working on a prose form of my first fic, and I hope you like it.

Layla: Nah, I didn't really need your opinion--I just wanted to put you into a mad frenzy. Man, it's like I read somewhere once...power is a seductive thing ( wink). Anyway, I'm so glad that you liked this part, as your opinion means so much to me. Glad you liked the Bender stuff (the set-up stuff that is oh so hard to write), and the Amy stuff (yeah, I dumbed her down a bit, I'll admit it...I may have to fix that up a bit in rewrite) as well. Thanks so much, as always.   

Also (whoever that is) : Woo-hoo, people are encouraging me to write, even though I'll just end up causing them serious mental anguish later on! (Seriously though, I love you guys...and that has nothing to do with the fact that today's Valentines Day. (I think it actually has something to do with all that beer and vodka and Juicy Juice I was drinkin' earlier.))

Anyway, I'd just like to use this as an opportunity to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day from the bottom of my cold, black heart. All you guys rock.

And so, because all you guys rock (but also because I had a lot of free time on my hands today), I have the first part of my prosey story for you all. Now, mind you, this version is a lot different from what it came from, but the basic plot will be pretty much the same. Also, there's loads of room for improvement here, so feel free to be painfully honest--it's the only way anyone ever improves (you know, besides actually making an honest effort to improve). Anyway, enjoy.

------------------------------

Home. It’s not only that place where you live, but it’s that place where other people don’t live. I mean, part of the reason kids get their own apartments once they turn 18 is to get away from other people, right? Well, actually, kids get their own apartments when they turn 18 because their parents can’t stand them anymore and they basically give the kid the real estate section and a bagged lunch then send them packing with goodwill and a prayer. But, anyway, I think you get the point: One of the great things about living on your own is actually, well, you know, not living with other people.

At least that’s how Leela always saw it. In her mind, she had always been a loner. That’s the way it always was and that’s the way it would stay. Even after she had discovered that she had family, she chose to live a life in a small apartment (with a room number that was quite ironic, if I do say so myself) all by herself. Granted, she visited her parents as often as she could, but she felt some sort of small comfort in still living by herself. She took the slightest bit of pride in the fact that she had made it on her own, and she knew that her parents did too.

But, despite the reaffirmation in her living habits by her parents, there was something in the back of Leela’s mind—and, no, it wasn’t some sort of parasite—telling her that there was more. There was something nagging at her, something that made her think. Her mother and father lived together; Fry and Bender lived together. Hermes had a family to come home to, and Amy lived with her parents. The Professor had Cubert, and Leela imagined that even Dr. Zoidberg had a couple of vagrants to mooch off of like the blood-sucking parasitic nuisance that he was.

And so that just left Leela. That just left the Cyclops girl that nobody had ever wanted. But things were different now. Leela was wanted—she had co-workers and a mom and a dad. She also had Fry, and even though she didn’t reciprocate the delivery boy’s feelings, she had to possibly admit that perhaps a small part of her sorta kinda liked the attention he paid her maybe. (Okay, so that’s not much of a revelation, but deep down, Leela knew that Fry’s friendship was indispensable.)

So, the thought of getting a roommate—the thought of having someone to talk to when she came home, someone to share things with—was always echoing in the back of Leela’s mind. But, she had always dismissed the thought, feeling that any potential roommate would immediately be turned off by her apartment’s lack of properly ventilated areas (well, that, and her eye). Of course, in a city with over a million pseudo-humans, there had to be someone out there that wouldn’t mind sharing an apartment with a nagging 20-something woman with too much common sense for her own good. Right?

Nah. And besides, Leela wasn’t entirely alone. I mean, she had Nibbler. That had to count for something.

Yeah, but not for much… Leela thought faintly as she made her way out of her apartment towards Planet Express.

-------------------------------       

It was a normal day at Planet Express. Fry was sleeping, Farnsworth was sleeping, Bender was stealing. Zoidberg was wishing he was dead, and Hermes was wishing Zoidberg was dead. Amy was reading a magazine, which, fortunately for Kif, didn’t have a foldout of a half-naked woodsman eating a whole chicken. And Leela? Well, Leela was braving the unknown—a little thing called “work”. That’s right, the one sensible member of the Planet Express team (well, it’s not so much a team as much as it is a group of people who can almost stand to be in the same room with each other), was making a few minor repairs to the ship. Fry, Bender, and she would need the piece of junk to at least function well enough to make a decent cup of coffee for their daily deliveries. 

So, after an hour of randomly banging on things with a hammer that she felt could cure any of the ship’s innumerable deficiencies, Leela felt that the shuttle was in almost-almost-(almost) good enough condition to fly. And that was good enough for her.

“Hermes,” she called for the resident tightwad bureaucrat as she made her way to the Conference Room.

“What do ya want, mon?” came Hermes’ reply, which came off a bit too angrily for Leela’s tastes. Not a good sign.

Leela reached the Conference Room, and was greeted by an all-too-sweet tableau: Hermes preparing to beat Zoidberg’s head in with a wrench.

“Hey, Hermes, what’re today’s deliveries?” She said as she grabbed the wrench out of Hermes’ hand, unfazed by the whole spectacle. Leela had been working at Planet Express long enough to know that abnormality was the norm. Don’t question their quirks…pretend to embrace them.

“Um…we don’t got no deliveries today.” Hermes made the remark, completely devoid of sincerity, as he tried to snag another wrench from a glass container reading “Emergency Wrenches”, hanging on the wall. As he did so, Zoidberg scuttled away, whoop-whoop-whooping as he went.

“No deliveries, huh? Then explain that piece of paper over there on the door.”

Leela pointed to a piece of paper, with the word “Deliveries” written on top of it, thumb-tacked to the front door.

“Um…that’s just my to-do list!” Hermes ran over to the door as quickly as you would expect a retired limbo champ with an extra 20 pounds of baggage to run.

Obviously, the much more svelte Leela won the race to the door, leaving her middle-aged Jamaican opponent in the dust. She un-tacked the paper and read it aloud.

“’Deliver a 15-ton shipment of cookie dough to Pillsburyon 9.’”

Finally, Hermes reached the door, coming in third to both Leela and a small inexplicable turtle that had entered the race, seemingly to mock Hermes’ speed (or lack thereof).

“Gimme dat!” Hermes screamed at Leela as he grabbed the paper from her hands.

“To-do list, huh?” Leela asked, much more amused then she would have liked to admit by the accountant’s actions.

“Exactly. I was going to deliver cookie dough to Pillsburyon 9…as we all do during the course of a normal day.”  Hermes would have been even more embarrassed by this whole thing if he had known that Leela was laughing out loud in her mind.

“Oh…I see.” Leela, suppressing a laugh, grabbed the paper out of Hermes’ hands and made her way to the Lounge. “We’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Very well, den,” Hermes said, attempting to regain what little authority he had over the other crewmembers.

He stood there for a moment, making sure the coast was clear, then, cackling, he pulled the afore-mentioned emergency wrench out from behind his back.

“Oh, Dr. Zoidberg…” he hissed.

“Give me the wrench, Hermes,” a voice called out in calm but firm tone.

Caught off-guard, Hermes turned around to find Leela standing behind him.

“Leela? But you were…and now you’re…what’s going on?” The bewildered man questioned the captain, waving his hands wildly in all directions.

“Give me the wrench, Hermes,” Leela repeated. She wasn’t in the mood to explain how she had amazingly left the room and reappeared behind Hermes without him noticing, and she wasn’t even sure that she could.

Hermes, obviously spooked by this whole display, handed Leela the wrench without an argument, adding in a bit of flattery as well with, “Absolutely, Mr. Captain, mam!” (Needless to say, Hermes ain’t so great at the whole flattery game.)

“Thanks.”

Leela trotted out of the room and back towards the lounge, twirling the wrench around on her finger with quiet pride. The faintest smile came across her face as she pulled out a bottle of  “Miracle Displacement Liquid (Now even more miraculous!)” and laughed quietly to herself.

---------------------------

Hope you could stomach that. If not, complain to everyone you meet.

Philp_J_Fry

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #234 on: 02-14-2005 21:43 »
« Last Edit on: 02-14-2005 21:43 »

Yay, more to read. Great work, better than I could ever to do

 
Quote
Originally posted by Gorky:
Finally, Hermes reached the door, coming in third to both Leela and a small inexplicable turtle that had entered the race, seemingly to mock Hermes’ speed (or lack thereof).

   laff Great line. Enough said

 
Quote
Originally posted by Gorky:
Leela imagined that even Dr. Zoidberg had a couple of vagrants to mooch off of like the blood-sucking parasitic nuisance that he was.

Another one of my favorite lines. Keep up the great work    big grin
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #235 on: 02-14-2005 22:11 »

Um, I'm sorry... who's the funny one again? Gorky? Yeah, I thought so.

Seriously, dudette... that was great. Both things that I have not commented on yet. A million and one great jokes in your first update which people have already commented on... I laughed a lot... I had to go to bed and I would not let my mother push me off the computer because I was too busy reading and laughing...

I wanted to focus on the prose though, because... well, I like prose, and there's so much to comment on!!

First of all, it was SOOOO FUNNY. And amazingly so. I love how you can sneak in little jokes that are much easier to sneak in when you're writing in script. The introduction was awesome.

 
Quote
Originally posted by Gorky:
Zoidberg was wishing he was dead, and Hermes was wishing Zoidberg was dead.

That was so beautiful...


 
Quote
Originally posted by Gorky:
Don’t question their quirks…pretend to embrace them.

... So, so funny. That is going in my Classic Quotes of Funnyness Book... that I just made up...

 
Quote
Originally posted by Gorky:
Hermes made the remark, completely devoid of sincerity, as he tried to snag another wrench from a glass container reading “Emergency Wrenches”, hanging on the wall.

Positively Groening-style funny.

I loved the turtle thing too. You got a real live LOL from me on that one (that sounds so incredibly stupid...).

And the "Miracle Displacement Liquid" was such a nice touch. Thank you for writing that... thank you... thank you for everything. This is fantasmic. Please give me more.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #236 on: 02-14-2005 22:37 »

"Don't question their quirks...pretend to embrace them"   I think that line perfectly summarises the entire series.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #237 on: 02-16-2005 15:43 »

Okay, this isn't an update (I may have one by later tonight, if I can find the time), but I'll reply to you guys now, because I have no life (er, I mean, because I wuv you all so very, very much...)

Philp_J_Fry: I'm so glad you enjoyed this, seeing as how it was just this sort of experimental thing. And, don't put yourself down like that--besides, you never know if you can write until you try. I'm glad you liked the turtle thing (especially because it was so weird and all...I wasn't sure if it would work). Anyway, thanks so much for commenting.

say what now: No, no, no. We've been through this 1 (um...hundred) times! You are the funny one, I'm the vomit-inducing one! Anyway, I'm glad you liked my update on the mayor story, but I'm also glad that you're focusing on the prose, because I think that's what I'll be focusing on writing for a little bit now. I'm also glad that you thought this was funny, because I don't want it to be bland, like so many other prose fic's out there (With a few notable exceptions, like Layla's and Venus' and anything by Kenneth and a few others). My one concern is that I might go overboard with the gags later on, when I'm supposed to be focusing on the emotion, so feel free to call me out on it as you see fit. Also, the whole "Don't question their quirks..." thing: if you're gonna put it in your Classic Quotes of Funnyness Book, then I'm gonna put things like "awesome possum" and "fantasmic" in my "Rocks My Socks: Neat-o Lingo of the Modern World" Book...which I also just made up. Seriously, dudette (also going in afore-mentioned book), can't wait to see how great your forthcoming fic is gonna be!

Venus: Wow...I'm so surprised that everyone liked that line (surprised and flattered, of course). I guess it can summarize the series, now that you mention it. Anyway, oh Queen of all that is good and shippy, I hope you enjoy what's coming up! (Also, on a totally "I want it to be finished, I want it to be finished now!" note: Still eagerly awaiting that fic of yours, mam.)   
Fry´s Lady

Bending Unit
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« Reply #238 on: 02-16-2005 20:17 »

Nice stuff Gorky!
JBERGES

Urban Legend
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« Reply #239 on: 02-17-2005 16:35 »
« Last Edit on: 02-17-2005 16:35 »

I keep falling horrifically behind on these stories of yours.  But now I'm all caught up, and I'll try to keep a bit more up to date in the future so I'll actually have something relevant to say.  That said, I have little to add to your script story comments. 

This new story is pretty interesting, simply due to the way you write it.  It's choppy and random like a script, yet descriptive and structured like prose.  So far, I like that.

 
Quote
Amy was reading a magazine, which, fortunately for Kif, didn’t have a foldout of a half-naked woodsman eating a whole chicken
How long did it take you to come up with something so randomly funny?
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