Favorite Zapp quotes

[Reply #80 on:]

Here's to us poor schmos, working for the man, even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.

Does a fun-kay TOTPD....

[Reply #81 on:]

Zapp: "Double-yes. Guilty!!"

Zapp: "This court-martial is now in session. The honorably, sexy Zapp Brannigan residing."

[Reply #82 on:]

"You win again, gravity!"

[Reply #83 on:]

 

Originally posted by Teral:
Welcome to PEEL, Citizen77. Enjoy it here.   

Still one of the all-time best Kif/Zapper exchanges:

Zapp Brannigan: "I'm facing a formidable female adversary Kif. Sugestions?"
Kif Kroker: "I fail to see any problems, sir. You've already imprisoned her under directive b10.81."
Zapp Brannigan: "You mean "Brannigan's Law"."
Kif Kroker: "Right, that law."
Zapp Brannigan: (slyly)"Which one?"
Kif Kroker: (in a very tired voice) "Brannigan's Law."
Zapp Brannigan: "Kif. You're my best and most loyal friend but you've earned my contempt once more. As my protegé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her."
Kif Kroker: "Ohhh."
Zapp Brannigan: "And this time we're sure she's a woman, right?"
Kif Kroker: (In a even more tired voice) "Yes!"
Zapp Brannigan: "Good! Invite her to my quarters. Oh and have the boy lay out my formal shorts."
Kif Kroker: "The boy, sir?"
Zapp Brannigan: "You! You lay out my formal shorts."

It really sums up their "freindship".

Some other Zapp-gems:

Nixon: “Planet Spheron 1.”
Fry: ”Cool effect!”
Brannigan: “It’s a desolate ugly little planet, with absolutely no natural resources, or strategic value. Questions?”
Soldier: “Why is this godforsaken planet worth dying for?”
Brannigan: “Don’t ask me, you’re the one who is going to be dying.”

Fry: Uhh, just so we know: who‘s the enemy?”
Brannigan: “A valid question. We know nothing about their language,  their history or what they look like. But we can assume this: they stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks!”

Kif: “That new recruit is phenomenal sir.”
Brannigan: “Yes, he edged out my old mark by 2 seconds..(Kif stares at him)..and 16 minutes..(Kif glances sideways)..and 12 hours..(Kif rolls his eyes)..I do plan to finish some day Kif!”

What Episode is the last one from?

[Reply #84 on:]

War is the H-Word.

[Reply #85 on:]

Zapp: I have a sexual learning dissability. What do we call it Kiff?
Kiff: (tired voice) Sexlexia....

[Reply #86 on:]

Zapp: "If you as so much look at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very sensual manure."

[Reply #87 on:]

Zapp: "Kiiiif. If it's one thing I don't need, it's your "I-don't-think-that's-wise"-attitude!"

[Reply #88 on:]

Kiff, this place is expensive!

Basicly anything the man says is gonna be a catch phrase. Are there any sites deveoted to the man? I'd make one, but since im not at school i dont have much time to do so.

[Reply #89 on:]

 

Originally posted by masTers:
Kiff, this place is expensive!

Basicly anything the man says is gonna be a catch phrase. Are there any sites deveoted to the man? I'd make one, but since im not at school i dont have much time to do so.

Although it's been dead  for almost 3 years Zapp-and-Kif URAMA is still online. Not a  major side though.

Alternatively, try browsing through The Futurama Museum at TFP, and then head on over to The Internet Archive.

[Reply #90 on:]

Nows that a wave of destruction thats easy on the eyes!

[Reply #91 on:]

Zapp destroys DOOP headquaters: "Oopsy, Daisy!"   

Zapp laughing about the Amazonians: "Hahahaha-ah, you're killing me!"
Amazonian woman hits him down.
"Aaah! You're killing me!"
   

[Reply #92 on:]

"I find the Most erotic part of a woman is the Boobi.....ARGH!!!!!" (Taken away by Amazon women)

[Reply #93 on:]

I could mop the floor, or paint a fence or service you sexually!

[Reply #94 on:]

"I hate these filthy neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with neutrals, who knows? It ... sickens me."

[Reply #95 on:]

One Zapp line comes to mind when playing Halo, or any FPS: "SURPRISE!"

Taken, of course from the longer quote:

"As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise.  SURPRISE!"

[Reply #96 on:]

Leela-
"ya know zapp: once i thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then  i realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now i realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!"

Zapp-
"and which one Rocked Your World?"

Zapp-"I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's law. I mearly enforce it."

Oh yeah and the funniest thing in the AMAZONS IN THE MOOD episode was Fry and Brannigan's Horrified/happy reactions after they're  sentenced to death by snoo-snoo.

.......and how about a Kif/Brannigan playset??

[Reply #97 on:]

What are you? Gay?

[Reply #98 on:]

"Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love....HARD and FAST!"

"Lemon, you're a mna's man...you're a man's man's man. But more importantly, your hand while firm and masculine is soft as a velvet child."

"These would go great with GWAK-a-mole!"

"That young man fills me with hope.....and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing."

"Well well well...if it isn't Lee Lemon. The Flaming Star of Brannigan's Rough Rangers! Say Lemon, do you like to read? I just got a great book on tape. It's about life in ancient Greece and....."

[Reply #99 on:]

From "Brannigan begin again" (deleted scene)
Zapp: "Guess I'll have to sleep myself to the top. Kif, wake me when i'm there."

(I hate to quote myself, but it made me a Bending Unit.    )

[Reply #100 on:]

not sure of the exact wording:

"First we file our ships directly into the Alien Death Cannons, thus clogging them with debris.  And then the dominoes will fall like a house of cards....  Checkmate!"

[Reply #101 on:]

Kif: Sir, we have an emergency on the bridge.
Zap: Call me back when it's a catastrophy!
<large crash>

[Reply #102 on:]

 

Originally posted by MisterPoon:
not sure of the exact wording:

"First we file our ships directly into the Alien Death Cannons, thus clogging them with debris.  And then the dominoes will fall like a house of cards....  Checkmate!"

Zapp: "The alien mothership is in orbit here." (Points on map) "If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
Kif: sigh
Zapp: "Now, like all great plans my strategy is so simple an idiot could've devised it. On my command all ships will line up and fly directly into the alien death canons, clogging them with wreckage."

Bender: "Sir, I volunteer for a suicide mission! Ah, cut it out."
Zapp: "You're a brave robot son, but when Im in command every mssion is a suicide mission."

Welcome to PEEL, MisterPoon. Enjoy it here. 

[Reply #103 on:]

Zap - "Do you want the rest of the shampagan?".

Zap - "I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. Kiff, what do I call it again?"

Kiff - "Sexlexia".

[Reply #104 on:]

Zapp: Leela, you may be a formidable doer of the nasty, but I'm forced to relieve you of your post.

Leela: On what grounds? You slobbering oaf!

Zapp: Failure to prevent a mutiny.  Throw her in the brig.

Fry: We Don't have a brig.

Zapp: Then throw her in the laundry room.  Which will be hereafter be known as the brig.

[Reply #105 on:]

Lets hope there is alot more to come of the Zapper in season five!

[Reply #106 on:]

Maybe even a Zapp Brannigan DVD?

[Reply #107 on:]

"Please, we need rest.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."

 

Originally posted by masTers:
Lets hope there is alot more to come of the Zapper in season five!

I hope he's in "A Taste of Freedom"!

[Reply #108 on:]

'its built like a steak house, but it handles like a bistro'
- amazon women in the mood

[Reply #109 on:]

 

Originally posted by Kill All Humans:
Zapp: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!

That's the best quote from Zapp to me, this sociopat inflating his ego...

Inform the men!  hahaha...

[Reply #110 on:]

Wasn't there a time when Doubleposters got punished and fed to Zoidberg or some other hidious and hungry monster.   

[Reply #111 on:]

"Leela, our love has survived so much...including your hatred of me."

I'll clean it up, make it exact, when I finally get the episode by legal, non-DLing, means.

[Reply #112 on:]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
The "D-word"!!!!

[Reply #113 on:]

I said 'legal, non downloading' means. What kind of internet criminal do you take me for?

[Reply #114 on:]

But the D-word is always bad. Bad bad bad.

(Note: I've had my D-word censored before.)

[Reply #115 on:]

"My plan is so simple even a idiot could have thought of it"

[Reply #116 on:]

"She's a beautiful ship alright.  Shapely, seductive, I'm gonna fly her brains out."

[Reply #117 on:]

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parenrs, have sex with them and your in."

[Reply #118 on:]

Both from Brannigan Begin Again

Zapp: "We've met before, have we not?"
Leela: "Yes."
Z: "And on that occasion, did you have sex with someone?  May I remind you, you're still under oath."
L: (sigh)"Yes."
Z: "Please point out the person in this court room you had sex with."
L: (annoyed, points at Zapp)
Z: "And his name is??"
L: "Zapp Brannigan."
Z: "The very same Zapp Brannigan who did not blow up DOOP headquarters.  I rest my case."


Zapp: "So, this Leela, I know she's a very sensuous woman, but what manner of captain is she?"
Fry: "She's very strict."
Bender: "And mean."
Z: "I see, does she by any chance give the crew members spankings?"
F: "No, she just makes us do work and stuff."
Z: "Good, good.  But should she ever institute some sort of bare bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place.  I won't have my comrades harmed."

[Reply #119 on:]

from 'a flight to remember'

Zapp: (talking to Fry) "if you so much as glance at another woman i'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manuer"