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Author Topic: Favorite Zapp quotes  (Read 16498 times)
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Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #80 on: 07-28-2002 10:02 »
« Last Edit on: 07-28-2002 10:02 »

Here's to us poor schmos, working for the man, even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.

Does a fun-kay TOTPD....
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #81 on: 07-28-2002 11:00 »

Zapp: "Double-yes. Guilty!!"

Zapp: "This court-martial is now in session. The honorably, sexy Zapp Brannigan residing."

Brain Slug

Crustacean
*
« Reply #82 on: 08-05-2002 04:29 »

"You win again, gravity!"
masTers

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #83 on: 10-04-2002 00:57 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Teral:
Welcome to PEEL, Citizen77. Enjoy it here.   big grin

Still one of the all-time best Kif/Zapper exchanges:

Zapp Brannigan: "I'm facing a formidable female adversary Kif. Sugestions?"
Kif Kroker: "I fail to see any problems, sir. You've already imprisoned her under directive b10.81."
Zapp Brannigan: "You mean "Brannigan's Law"."
Kif Kroker: "Right, that law."
Zapp Brannigan: (slyly)"Which one?"
Kif Kroker: (in a very tired voice) "Brannigan's Law."
Zapp Brannigan: "Kif. You're my best and most loyal friend but you've earned my contempt once more. As my protegé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her."
Kif Kroker: "Ohhh."
Zapp Brannigan: "And this time we're sure she's a woman, right?"
Kif Kroker: (In a even more tired voice) "Yes!"
Zapp Brannigan: "Good! Invite her to my quarters. Oh and have the boy lay out my formal shorts."
Kif Kroker: "The boy, sir?"
Zapp Brannigan: "You! You lay out my formal shorts."

It really sums up their "freindship".

Some other Zapp-gems:

Nixon: “Planet Spheron 1.”
Fry: ”Cool effect!”
Brannigan: “It’s a desolate ugly little planet, with absolutely no natural resources, or strategic value. Questions?”
Soldier: “Why is this godforsaken planet worth dying for?”
Brannigan: “Don’t ask me, you’re the one who is going to be dying.”

Fry: Uhh, just so we know: who‘s the enemy?”
Brannigan: “A valid question. We know nothing about their language,  their history or what they look like. But we can assume this: they stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks!”

Kif: “That new recruit is phenomenal sir.”
Brannigan: “Yes, he edged out my old mark by 2 seconds..(Kif stares at him)..and 16 minutes..(Kif glances sideways)..and 12 hours..(Kif rolls his eyes)..I do plan to finish some day Kif!”


What Episode is the last one from?
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #84 on: 10-04-2002 01:30 »

War is the H-Word.
Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #85 on: 10-04-2002 14:55 »

Zapp: I have a sexual learning dissability. What do we call it Kiff?
Kiff: (tired voice) Sexlexia....
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #86 on: 10-04-2002 15:38 »

Zapp: "If you as so much look at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a pile of very sensual manure."
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #87 on: 10-04-2002 17:43 »

Zapp: "Kiiiif. If it's one thing I don't need, it's your "I-don't-think-that's-wise"-attitude!"
masTers

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #88 on: 10-08-2002 01:46 »

Kiff, this place is expensive!

Basicly anything the man says is gonna be a catch phrase. Are there any sites deveoted to the man? I'd make one, but since im not at school i dont have much time to do so.
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #89 on: 10-08-2002 14:49 »
« Last Edit on: 10-08-2002 14:49 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by masTers:
Kiff, this place is expensive!

Basicly anything the man says is gonna be a catch phrase. Are there any sites deveoted to the man? I'd make one, but since im not at school i dont have much time to do so.

Although it's been dead  for almost 3 years Zapp-and-Kif URAMA is still online. Not a  major side though.

Alternatively, try browsing through The Futurama Museum at TFP, and then head on over to The Internet Archive.
masTers

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #90 on: 10-09-2002 21:33 »

Nows that a wave of destruction thats easy on the eyes!
TheLesbianLeela

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #91 on: 11-13-2002 21:57 »
« Last Edit on: 11-13-2002 21:57 »

Zapp destroys DOOP headquaters: "Oopsy, Daisy!"   smile

Zapp laughing about the Amazonians: "Hahahaha-ah, you're killing me!"
Amazonian woman hits him down.
"Aaah! You're killing me!"
   laff

Click-able signature-picture below!

"PotM August 2004" & PEEL's unofficial Feministic Warrior
Pikka Bird: "you look like quite a sweetheart... with vibes..."
Ralph Snart: "TLL is kinda a legend around here"
fiend-o-rama

Crustacean
*
« Reply #92 on: 11-25-2002 08:23 »

"I find the Most erotic part of a woman is the Boobi.....ARGH!!!!!" (Taken away by Amazon women)
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #93 on: 11-25-2002 15:45 »

I could mop the floor, or paint a fence or service you sexually!
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #94 on: 11-25-2002 15:55 »
« Last Edit on: 11-25-2002 15:55 »

"I hate these filthy neutrals, Kif. With enemies you know where they stand but with neutrals, who knows? It ... sickens me."
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #95 on: 11-25-2002 17:41 »

One Zapp line comes to mind when playing Halo, or any FPS: "SURPRISE!"

Taken, of course from the longer quote:

"As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise.  SURPRISE!"
wadew1

Crustacean
*
« Reply #96 on: 11-26-2002 01:39 »

Leela-
"ya know zapp: once i thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then  i realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now i realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!"

Zapp-
"and which one Rocked Your World?"

Zapp-"I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's law. I mearly enforce it."

Oh yeah and the funniest thing in the AMAZONS IN THE MOOD episode was Fry and Brannigan's Horrified/happy reactions after they're  sentenced to death by snoo-snoo.

.......and how about a Kif/Brannigan playset??
fiend-o-rama

Crustacean
*
« Reply #97 on: 11-26-2002 03:29 »

What are you? Gay?
Omicronian

Crustacean
*
« Reply #98 on: 11-27-2002 05:33 »

"Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love....HARD and FAST!"

"Lemon, you're a mna's man...you're a man's man's man. But more importantly, your hand while firm and masculine is soft as a velvet child."

"These would go great with GWAK-a-mole!"

"That young man fills me with hope.....and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing."

"Well well well...if it isn't Lee Lemon. The Flaming Star of Brannigan's Rough Rangers! Say Lemon, do you like to read? I just got a great book on tape. It's about life in ancient Greece and....."

Gocad

Space Pope
****
« Reply #99 on: 12-08-2002 23:38 »
« Last Edit on: 12-08-2002 23:38 »

From "Brannigan begin again" (deleted scene)
Zapp: "Guess I'll have to sleep myself to the top. Kif, wake me when i'm there."

(I hate to quote myself, but it made me a Bending Unit.   evil laugh )
MisterPoon

Crustacean
*
« Reply #100 on: 12-13-2002 10:03 »

not sure of the exact wording:

"First we file our ships directly into the Alien Death Cannons, thus clogging them with debris.  And then the dominoes will fall like a house of cards....  Checkmate!"
MisterPoon

Crustacean
*
« Reply #101 on: 12-13-2002 10:14 »

Kif: Sir, we have an emergency on the bridge.
Zap: Call me back when it's a catastrophy!
<large crash>
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #102 on: 12-13-2002 12:12 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by MisterPoon:
not sure of the exact wording:

"First we file our ships directly into the Alien Death Cannons, thus clogging them with debris.  And then the dominoes will fall like a house of cards....  Checkmate!"

Zapp: "The alien mothership is in orbit here." (Points on map) "If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
Kif: sigh
Zapp: "Now, like all great plans my strategy is so simple an idiot could've devised it. On my command all ships will line up and fly directly into the alien death canons, clogging them with wreckage."

Bender: "Sir, I volunteer for a suicide mission! Ah, cut it out."
Zapp: "You're a brave robot son, but when Im in command every mssion is a suicide mission."

Welcome to PEEL, MisterPoon. Enjoy it here.  smile
Child of Bender

Crustacean
*
« Reply #103 on: 12-15-2002 17:15 »

Zap - "Do you want the rest of the shampagan?".

Zap - "I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. Kiff, what do I call it again?"

Kiff - "Sexlexia".
Melllvar

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #104 on: 12-16-2002 08:15 »

Zapp: Leela, you may be a formidable doer of the nasty, but I'm forced to relieve you of your post.

Leela: On what grounds? You slobbering oaf!

Zapp: Failure to prevent a mutiny.  Throw her in the brig.

Fry: We Don't have a brig.

Zapp: Then throw her in the laundry room.  Which will be hereafter be known as the brig.
masTers

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #105 on: 12-17-2002 00:23 »

Lets hope there is alot more to come of the Zapper in season five!
masTers

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #106 on: 12-17-2002 00:26 »

Maybe even a Zapp Brannigan DVD?
Joe25

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #107 on: 12-17-2002 01:42 »

"Please, we need rest.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."

 
Quote
Originally posted by masTers:
Lets hope there is alot more to come of the Zapper in season five!

I hope he's in "A Taste of Freedom"!

eggsandwich

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #108 on: 12-28-2002 05:12 »

'its built like a steak house, but it handles like a bistro'
- amazon women in the mood
IC_Wiener

Poppler
*
« Reply #109 on: 01-13-2003 18:20 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kill All Humans:
Zapp: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men!

That's the best quote from Zapp to me, this sociopat inflating his ego...

Inform the men!  laff hahaha...

******************************
 I just want my 1999 pizza!!!
******************************
This message is brought to you by Slurm.
Gocad

Space Pope
****
« Reply #110 on: 01-13-2003 18:23 »

Wasn't there a time when Doubleposters got punished and fed to Zoidberg or some other hidious and hungry monster.   evil laugh


I'm watching you. Yes, YOU!
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #111 on: 01-13-2003 18:26 »

"Leela, our love has survived so much...including your hatred of me."

I'll clean it up, make it exact, when I finally get the episode by legal, non-DLing, means.
SQFreak

Professor
*
« Reply #112 on: 01-13-2003 20:16 »

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
The "D-word"!!!!
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #113 on: 01-13-2003 21:30 »

I said 'legal, non downloading' means. What kind of internet criminal do you take me for?
SQFreak

Professor
*
« Reply #114 on: 01-14-2003 20:28 »

But the D-word is always bad. Bad bad bad.

(Note: I've had my D-word censored before.)
Carbito

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #115 on: 01-15-2003 06:25 »

"My plan is so simple even a idiot could have thought of it"
Spice Weasel

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #116 on: 01-16-2003 23:58 »
« Last Edit on: 01-17-2003 00:00 »

"She's a beautiful ship alright.  Shapely, seductive, I'm gonna fly her brains out."
Clacker

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #117 on: 01-20-2003 00:02 »

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parenrs, have sex with them and your in."
NewsMonster

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #118 on: 01-23-2003 01:32 »

Both from Brannigan Begin Again

Zapp: "We've met before, have we not?"
Leela: "Yes."
Z: "And on that occasion, did you have sex with someone?  May I remind you, you're still under oath."
L: (sigh)"Yes."
Z: "Please point out the person in this court room you had sex with."
L: (annoyed, points at Zapp)
Z: "And his name is??"
L: "Zapp Brannigan."
Z: "The very same Zapp Brannigan who did not blow up DOOP headquarters.  I rest my case."


Zapp: "So, this Leela, I know she's a very sensuous woman, but what manner of captain is she?"
Fry: "She's very strict."
Bender: "And mean."
Z: "I see, does she by any chance give the crew members spankings?"
F: "No, she just makes us do work and stuff."
Z: "Good, good.  But should she ever institute some sort of bare bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place.  I won't have my comrades harmed."
Clacker

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #119 on: 01-23-2003 07:59 »

from 'a flight to remember'

Zapp: (talking to Fry) "if you so much as glance at another woman i'll be on Leela like a fly on a pile of very seductive manuer"
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