Zed 85
Space Pope
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« Reply #40 on: 02-26-2002 15:02 »
« Last Edit on: 02-26-2002 15:02 »
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Zapp Let me ask you a serious question Leela, ...does the company that makes you bras also make good girdles, it's just that a friend of mine... - Leela Just get back to work! Zapp Take her to the brig! Fry Er, we don't have a brig. Zapp Then take her to the laundry-room which from now on will be refered to as the brig! TOTPD - yay!
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Kill All Humans
Crustacean
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Zapp: You can take away a man's rank and uniform, but you can never take his pride and honour. And it was mostly Kif's fault...
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Zapp Brannigan: "She's a beatifull ship alright. Shapely, seductive. I'm gonna fly her brains out!"
Brannigan: "Kif, I'm feeling the captains itch." Kif: "I'll get the powder, Sir." Brannigan: "Nooo, the itch for adventure. Prepare to change course." Kif: "Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency." Brannigan: "That's for school girls, now here is a course with some chesthair." Kif: "But..that course leads directly through a swarm of comets." Brannigna: "Yes, comets, the icebergs of the sky. By jackknifing from one to the next at breakneck speed, we might just get something of a gravityboost...or something." Kif: [sigh] Brannigan: "It's time to shove a jallapeno up this ship's tailpipe! Divert power from the shields, full speed ahead."
Kif: "Sir, remember your course-correction?" Brannigan: "NO!" Kif: "Well, it's proven somewhat more suicidal than we intially hoped." Brannigan: "Kif, old freind. I don't know what disgust me more: you're cowardize or your stupidity. We'll simply set a new course, for that empty region over there near that blackish, holish thing." (Cue disaster music)
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cellery
Starship Captain
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Originally posted by Teral:
Brannigan: "Kif, I'm feeling the captains itch." Kif: "I'll get the powder, Sir." Brannigan: "Nooo, the itch for adventure. Prepare to change course." Kif: "Sir, this is a leisure cruise. Our path was set by the travel agency." Brannigan: "That's for school girls, now here is a course with some chesthair."
One of my favorite parts of the episode. I also like the part at the end- Zapp: Don't blame yourself Kif, we were doomed from the start. Nothing remains now but for the captain to go down with the ship. Kif: Why that's surprisingly noble of you sir! Zapp: No, it's noble of you, Kif! As of now, you're in command. Congratulations captain! Kif: *sigh*
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Zapp: "Kif, I'm heading to the mens room, and I'll be needing an attendant, so....oh, I'm sorry, you're crying like a woman." Kif: [sob] Zapp: "It's alright. I've always thought of myself as a fatherfigure to some of my more pathetic men. Kif, old friend, let's rap."
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Nixorbo
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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Nothing left to do but repopulate the human race. Just me and you. And maybe you.
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transgender nerd under canada
DOOP Ubersecretary
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With me, EVERY mission is a suicide mission! I love that one. I like playing Rainbow Six in Zapp brannigan style. I send wave after wave of my own men against them, then when there's no-one shooting at me, I sneak up and pop a cap in someone's ass. Nice.
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TheMadCapper
Fluffy
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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Originally posted by Nixorbo: ^ That has worked its way into my everyday vocabulary Ditto. There's nothing better than shouting that out after you drop something or fall off something.
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Nixorbo
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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Not even sex?
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Nixorbo
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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Originally posted by Juliet: That's Farnsworth quote
Something tells me it wasn't a quote in the first place
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LethalWeapon
Crustacean
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These quotes are great. They make me wonder though: what would Zapp be without Kif?
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Zapp: "I'm the man with no name! Zapp Brannigan, at your service."
Singing Wind: “We will give back girl, when we get back planet surface.” Zapp: “How do we even know she is alive?” Amy: (Standing right beside the Zapper) “I’m fine.” Zapp: “Shh, you’re weakening our barganing position.”
Zapp: “Now remember Kif: the quickest way to a girls bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you’re in!” Kif: “Actually sir, I’m..I’m a little nerveous about meeting her family.” Zapp: “That’s natural. Afterall you’re meek and uninteresting, until now you’ve gotten by on my leftover charisma, schrouching of it like a tiny charisma-parasite.” Kif: “I just hope they like me.” Zapp: “And why wouldn’t they? Yes, yes I know: tiny, meek, uninteresting. Spare me your tedious lifestory Kif. And above all, have fun!”
Singing Wind: “Feckhh! I’m Singing Wind, chief of the Martian tribe.” Zapp: “Take me to your leader.”
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Alundar
Crustacean
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Men, you're lucky men. Soon you will all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all.
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Originally posted by FilthyCrab: Zapper: I'm willing to through wave after wave of my men at it Anonimous voice from crowd of his men: YOU SUCK! Just to beat Drippy to it: Zapp:"Whatever it is, I'm willing to put wave after wave of men at your disposal." (turns to the crowd, and raises his glass) "Right, men!!? Lone Voice in back of the room: "You suck!" And one of my own: Brannigan: "These new uniforms' pretty snappy, eh first officer?" Kif: "I suppose, captain. I'm not as big a fan of (with contempt dripping from the word) velour as you are." Kif: "Sir, they've docked with us and come aboard." Brannigan: "Then I've risked all and lost. Kif, old man, I'll be in the escape pod. If that wicker chair I love so much survives the slaughter have it sent to my P.O. box."
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Heliotrope
Crustacean
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Has this one been posted yet?
Zapp:"The key to disiplin is a well made bed, you will practice this to you can make your bed in your sleep" Fry:"You mean when i'm sleeping in it?" Zapp:"You won't have time for sleeping Soilder, not with all the bed making you'll be doing"
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