1000 Things to Learn

[Reply #80 on:]

767: Showmanship is important.

766: Digital Clocks are not the best thing to grab onto when falling.

765: Even if you don't believe in Santa he can still hurt you.

[Reply #81 on:]

764. Penmenship counts.

[Reply #82 on:]

763: You can't just have your characters announce how they feel, that makes the Robot Devil feel angry.

762: There isn't any meat Elzar can't jerk.

[Reply #83 on:]

761. Don't ever eat an egg salad sandwich from a truck stop mens room.

760. Irritating the pelvic splanchnic ganglion causes intestinal spasms.

759. When near construction sites, watch for falling humans.

758. There's nothing like a wet soapy flying buttress 

[Reply #84 on:]

757. If you want to hide from someone try to blend in with the closest crowd of pimps.

[Reply #85 on:]

756: Evil Canival Could!

755: When falling hope that someone fat gets in your way

[Reply #86 on:]

754-1: Don't panic.

[Reply #87 on:]

750: Space Bandito's can be identified by the sound of their maracas.

749: Comets are the icebergs of the sky.

748: Never mix a gundam suit with Richard Nixon.

747: The most puzzling thing about Atlanta is the magician.

[Reply #88 on:]

746: Black holes are not black. Instead, they a blackish-purple colour.

[Reply #89 on:]

745: Zap Brannigan calls his apartment the "Love-Nasium"

744: Never carry scissors (no matter how blunt) near the Yarn people of Nylar 4; you'll end up in jail.

743: Satan owes Professor Farnsworth.

742: Hot dogs are crawling with parasites; if you don't believe me, ask Dr. Zoidberg...

[Reply #90 on:]

741:Monday Monkey lives for the weekend

[Reply #91 on:]

740: El Chupanibre is not just a sub-urban legend.

[Reply #92 on:]

739: The qualifications for being a cryogenics counselor are the same as those for being Prime Minister of Norway.

738: Never stand next to a wall decoration that contains swords.

737: Aligators can't survive in sewers.

736: Crocodiles however can.

[Reply #93 on:]

735: When fighting the Decapodians, if you need someone to enter the activation codes to the global defense system into the central battle computer, it's probably not a good idea to give the targeting codes disk to Ensign "Hugh Man".

734: The briefcase carrying the targeting codes uses a lip identification scan, but dislikes tongue.

[Reply #94 on:]

733: When you see a fiery quasar you might want to scootch a few parsecs to the left.

[Reply #95 on:]

732: If you're dating a ship, you may not want to break up with it near said fiery quasar.

731: If you ever need some sheep herded, just ask Hypnotoad.

730: A toaster can feel love.

[Reply #96 on:]

729: you can use jergen's on homeless people with dry elbows

[Reply #97 on:]

728. Sharks don't have necks.

727. Because they don't have necks they don't look back.

726. One drop of the anchovies natural oil can lubricate 10 robots permanetly.

725. Robots need oil changes every 3000 miles.

724. Never say what your pin number is equal too even if no one in the future knows what that means.

[Reply #98 on:]

723. If you laugh at Patriotism your a communist

[Reply #99 on:]

722: Everyone wants to be like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood

721: Delivery has nothing to do with the delivery business. It's all about image.

720: There are two kinds of people in life , sheep and sharks

[Reply #100 on:]

719. NEVER hire the Hyperchicken as you lawyer.

718. If your last name is Waterfall make sure that all your affairs are in order because you will die soon.

[Reply #101 on:]

717: If you manage to kill someone remember to eat their heart, you'll gain all of their courage.

[Reply #102 on:]

716: Courage is rich and tasty.

[Reply #103 on:]

715. A spirit CAN be crushed
714. It's OK to eat dolphins, but only if they're stupid

[Reply #104 on:]

713: If you're going to eat humans, avoid eating a "smelly hippy", unless you want to have a flashback.

712: Don't send candy valentines to the rulers of Omicron Persei 8; the concept of "wuv" confuses & infuriates them.

711: If something happens while you're in space, it is NOT a space cow.

[Reply #105 on:]

710: New York still has a roach problem.

[Reply #106 on:]

^^ repeat of #776

710. Sly Stallone exists as a skeleton holding a club in the year 3002

709. For some reason, Hanson and Beck still play in the 30th century.

708. "It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies!"

[Reply #107 on:]

707.  Nobody doesn't like Molton Boron.

706. That he did, surely not.

705. Ultimate robot fighting is fixed just like boxing.

704. When you see a robot, drink!

[Reply #108 on:]

703: The last human ghost died

[Reply #109 on:]

702: Technically Correct is the best kind of Correct.

[Reply #110 on:]

701 Whalers live on the moon.

[Reply #111 on:]

700: According to Dr. Zoidberg, Santa Claus & Jesus are friends.

[Reply #112 on:]

699.  "Papa done good"

[Reply #113 on:]

698:  Butch runs a pretty good civilization.

[Reply #114 on:]

697: LA will be exactly the same in 1,000 years.

696: Poverty is a mental illness.

695: It is possible to do it in a suitcase.

694: Axes will have blades even through they cut with a laser.

[Reply #115 on:]

693: The buttocks is nature's pocket.

692: When cleaning a penguin, you have to scrub the black parts too.

691:  The Loch Ness Monster's book was right.

690:  The higher your IQ, the better chance you have of being paired off for mating during an alien invasion.

[Reply #116 on:]

689. Radiation will trun us into monkeys.

[Reply #117 on:]

I did that one earlier so come up with a new 689.

[Reply #118 on:]

688. Robot ghosts outlive human ghosts
687. A broken robot can be used as a hat rack, a door stop, a thermos, or a storage closet
666. (Spooky) Don't buy anything from the bulk underpants outlet

[Reply #119 on:]

665: Don't worry about your hair; if you lose it (natural or other ways like being burned off), just call the hairbot.