Wolease Woderic-The Monty Python Thread.

[Reply #80 on:]

Watch out for those vicious gangs of killer Keep Left signs...

Dinsdale?!?, Dinsdale?!?

[Reply #81 on:]

Life of Brian and Holy Grail are the best movies. Meaning of Life was kind of a dissapointment.

My favourite sketches would have to be "How Not to Be Seen", "Know What I mean" and "The Spanish Inquisition".

[Reply #82 on:]

You forgot 'and his became spotty'.

[Reply #83 on:]

Not anymore, I didn't!   

[Reply #84 on:]

Here's the lyrics to 'Galaxy Song' if anyone's interested:
Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.
 

[Reply #85 on:]

Does anyone else like Jabberwocky?

I think that it's really underrated.

[Reply #86 on:]

I thought it was pretty good, but nowhere near the 3 big Python films IMO.

Then again, I've only seen it once and that was about 3 years ago. The others I've seen many, many times, especially The Holy Grail. I used to watch it weekly when I was about 12, and it's the only movie I own on both VHS and DVD.

I've also always been a big fan of the songs. 'Eric The Half A Bee', 'The Medical Love Song' and 'Finland' spring to mind as personal favourites.

[Reply #87 on:]

 saw meaning of life on video[phht, video! dvd for me] could hardly hear it! buuuut, pretty good, not as good as flindenger zircus.
this conversation is terrible   
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non-clickable signature below!

[Reply #88 on:]

If you couldnt hear it properly, turn up the volume. Duh. You dont need DVD-superior sound for The Meaning of Life, unless you like the crisp harsh tone of John Cleese so much you'd want to pay more for it.

Lousy video-bashers..

[Reply #89 on:]

I'm interrupting this thread to annoy you and make things generally irritating for you. 

And now... the horse chestnut.

[Reply #90 on:]

EDIT: For bad timing, bad use of a quote et al

[Reply #91 on:]

for somew reason, when that butler like person with the whiskers says:"i wonder where the fish is" in "the middle of the film" i just crack up!

[Reply #92 on:]

Anyone got the full MP3 of the intro? even a Video clip of the intro would do.

[Reply #93 on:]

it sucks that the 14 dvd set of MPFC is only available in the american uh thingy
cause i have a european dvd player

[Reply #94 on:]

 

Originally posted by Atropine:
it sucks that the 14 dvd set of MPFC is only available in the american uh thingy
cause i have a european dvd player

The A&E discs are coded for all regions. Pretty much all European players and TVs can handle NTSC too.

Of course MPFC on DVD has a few cuts compared to what originally aired... 

[Reply #95 on:]

It does? What!? So if I got it I would be spending a few hundred Aussie dollars on something INCOMPLETE? Grrr.

[Reply #96 on:]

 

Originally posted by mw:
 

Originally posted by Atropine:
it sucks that the 14 dvd set of MPFC is only available in the american uh thingy
cause i have a european dvd player

The A&E discs are coded for all regions. Pretty much all European players and TVs can handle NTSC too.

Of course MPFC on DVD has a few cuts compared to what originally aired...   

i don't think mine can
and i'm not gonna spend €160 on smth i probably can't play just to try it
i guess i just have to wait until it's also available in the european version
(i don't get why there isn't one already since MPFC is british anyway)

[Reply #97 on:]

*Ressurects*

Check this out!

Man: Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's?
Undertaker: Yup, that's right, what can I do for you, squire?
Man: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. My mother has just died and I'm not quite sure what I should do.
Undertaker: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs.
Man: Stiffs?!
Undertaker: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
Man: Dump her?
Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames.
Man: What?!!
Undertaker: Oh, did you like her?
Man: Yes!
Undertaker: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: burn her, or bury her?
Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?
Undertaker: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.
Man: Oh.
Undertaker: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead.
Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead.
Undertaker: Where is she?
Man: In the sack.
Undertaker: Let's 'ave a look. Umm, she looks quite young.
Man: Yes, she was.
Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED!
Fred: (offstage) Yea!
Undertaker: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!
Fred: I'll get the oven on!
Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my mother?
Undertaker: Er…. Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)
Man: What!
Man: Actually, I do feel a bit peckish - No! NO, I can't!
Undertaker: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
Man: All right.

[Reply #98 on:]

I forgot to mention that I have one of those Day-by-Day Monty Python calanders, always cheers me up  This morning it was the "Dead Parrot" sketch 

[Reply #99 on:]

Crunchy Frog, best. Sketch. Ever.

[Reply #100 on:]

bring me a shrubbery!
holy grail all the way! the ending was a dissapointment, though.

[Reply #101 on:]

I never saw the end of the Holy Grail.  I feel deprived. I have the video, but it changed to another program because my dad was cheap and recorded it straight off the tv. Stupid lousy cheap father.

I love the dead parrot sketch and the Spanish Inquisition. I also like the idea of gangs of old ladies, terrorising fit, young men.

But every sketch is great in the world of Monty Python. 

[Reply #102 on:]

You're not missing anything. The film just sort of cuts off right when King Arthur and his army attack the French castle.

[Reply #103 on:]

I liked the ending of Holy Grail... it was silly, but did the ending need to make sense?

...and it doesn't just cut away, but I'd rather not spoil the ending for catindisguise...

[Reply #104 on:]

...well they've kinda done the ending before.

From the end of "Argument Clinic":

Inspector: Good. Now I'm 'arrestin' this entire show on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offences against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.

Policeman: Hold it.

Inspector: It's a fair cop.

[Reply #105 on:]

*another Inspector walks up and puts his hand on Inspector 1's shoulder*

....

[Reply #106 on:]

I love the whole "Knights Who Say Ni" scene from The Holy Grail - the shrubbery thing is hilarious! And the instructions for detonating the grenade, and the French guy, and the whole "Crossing the Bridge" thing. And I love it when you hear a horse coming up the hill, and it's just these guys skipping while banging coconuts together... ah, it's a good movie 

[Reply #107 on:]

The ending to the Holy Grail is great. I must admit though the first time I watched it I didn't like it, though, but it is really quite stupid, crazy and funny.

I just remembered what has to be my favourite sketch. "Spot The Braincell" from Dury Lane.

 

Quizmaster: Good evening, Madam! And your name is?
Ratbag: Yes, Michael.
Quizmaster: Ha ha ha! Jolly good -- and what is your name?
Ratbag: I go to church regularly.

 

Quizmaster: Well -- have a guess!
Ratbag: Oh... Henri Bergson?
Quizmaster: ...is the correct answer!
Ratbag: Ooh, that was lucky.  I never even heard of him.
Quizmaster: Ha ha ha!
Ratbag: I don't like darkies.
Quizmaster: Ha ha ha!

 

Quizmaster: What is the main food eaten by penguins? What is the principal food that penguins eat?
Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Spam.
Quizmaster: No, no, no, no.  Penguins. Penguins.
Ratbag: Horses.
Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Armchairs.
Quizmaster: No, no.  All right, take it easy. I'll give you a clue.  (Does fish impression, opening and closing mouth, puffing up face etc.)
Ratbag: Oh, I know, I know, I know!  Brian Clough!
Quizmaster: No, ha ha, no.
Ratbag: Brian Johnstone.
Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Brian Inglis.
Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Brian Forbes.
Quizmaster: No, ha ha.
Ratbag: Nanette Newman.
Quizmaster: No, ha ha. No, now listen, I'll give you one more clue, one more clue.  What lives in the sea and gets caught in nets?
Ratbag: Goats.
Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Underwater goats with snorkels and flippers.
Quizmaster: No, no.
Ratbag: A buffalo with an aqualung.
Quizmaster: No.
Ratbag: Reginald Maudling.
Quizmaster: (Pause) Yes, that's near enough.  I'll give you that.

 

Quizmaster: Right, now you have won tonight's star prize.  Do you still want the blow on the head?
Ratbag: Oh, yes please, Michael.
Quizmaster: (Deliberate Pause) I'm offering you a poke in the eye...
Ratbag: No no.
Quizmaster: All right then, a punch in the throat.
Ratbag: No.
Quizmaster: My very last offer Mrs Scum -- a knee in the temple and a dagger up the clitoris! 
Ratbag: That's very tempting, I've never had one up there before!  No, I'll still have the blow on the head.

[Reply #108 on:]

I watched the Holy Grail last knight (har har).

'What is your name?'

'King Arthur of Camelot.'

'What is your quest?'

'Too seek the holy Grail.'

'What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?'

'African or European?'

'I don't know that......AAARRRGGGHHH!'

[Reply #109 on:]

Did anyone notice the cat-o-nine tails?

I'm gonna have to watch this film again very soon!
It makes me proud to be British.

[Reply #110 on:]

 

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...

Classic.   

[Reply #111 on:]

My favorite performance comes from Graham Chapman in the Most Awful Family in Britain sketch:

"WE WAS TALKING, WE WAS NOT SNOGGING!"

Brilliant.

[Reply #112 on:]

BEANS!!!!

[Reply #113 on:]

My favourite sketch is 'Upper Class Twit of the year'. Seeing them trying to walk in straight lines and jumping over boxes of matches. Oh dear, it makes me laugh just thinking about it.

[Reply #114 on:]

Oh man, I want one!!

[Reply #115 on:]

"It's the Bishop!"

NAY-VEE!!!

"We should have poets in every home!"

Haven't seen the series in YEARS, but what I can remember was great. Love the movies too.

"How do you want us to fuck off, O Lord?

And, of course, the abortive and highly confusing alien abduction scene. "There he is!"

My favourite. though, is in Holy Grail, John Cleese massacres an entire castle.     

"I like to push the Pram-a-lot."

"Let us not go to Camalot, it is a silly place."

"And there was much rejoycing. Yaaaaayyyy."

[Reply #116 on:]

Don't forget the Holy Handgrenade sequince.

[Reply #117 on:]

Who could?

Me. At least as far as exact dialogue goes. I remember the gist of it. Doesn't someone here have the whole thing as their signature?

[Reply #118 on:]

The rabbit in the Cave used to scare the shit out of me when I was younger.


here is the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch scene:
 

LAUNCELOT:
We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR:
Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him. Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
MONKS: [chanting]
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
ARTHUR:
How does it, um-- how does it work?
LAUNCELOT:
I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR:
Consult the Book of Armaments!
BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'
And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
KNIGHTS:
Amen.
ARTHUR:
Right!
One!... Two!... Five!
GALAHAD:
Three, sir!
ARTHUR:
Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]

[Reply #119 on:]

I had a look through Melll's link last night and had a read through the 'Dead Parrot' skit. It made me laugh reading it, so today I decided to download it just to have a watch of it. And I didn't find it funny while watching it. It just didn't come across as funny, but the script was, that was great. Hmmm..I'm not sure if I'm gonna be too much of a fan of Monty Python. But I cant judge off one sketch, so who knows