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Tzlk
Professor
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Donno if its been said before but my fav is When they are giving homer a lie detector test and they ask him "Do you understand Mr. Simpson?" Homer answers, "yes". The machine beeps then blows up.
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Speaking of lie detectors:
Eddie: "Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?" Moe: "No!" [buzz] "All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him." [ding] Eddie: "Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go." Moe: "Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight." [buzz] "A date." [buzz] "Dinner with friends." [buzz] "Dinner alone." [buzz] "Watching TV alone." [buzz] "All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog." [buzz] "Sears catalog." [ding] [angry] "Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!" [buzz]
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Just Chris
Urban Legend
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« Reply #84 on: 08-25-2002 00:09 »
« Last Edit on: 08-25-2002 00:09 »
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That was my most favorite Moe moment. The Bad Cops song: Bad cops, bad cops...Bad cops, bad cops Springfield cops are on the take But what do you expect for the money we make? Whether in a car or on a horse We don't mind using excessive force Bad cops, bad cops...Bad cops, bad cops Funny cuz it's true, the law enforcement is so corrupt
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~FazeShift~
Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
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Guh, I hate misquotations.
"Here Esquilax!"
Lisa walks up to Police Chief Wiggum who's dressed in a friar's garb. He stands at the entrance of a tent with a sign, "Friar Wiggum's Fantastical Beastarium".
[Lisa walks up] Wiggum: Alight your gaze on yonder fabled beasts of yore. [motions to chimera and manticore pictures] [inside the tent] Behold, the rarest of the rare, the mythological two-headed hound born with only one head. [a regular dog wags its tail with a bored look] Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit. [the rabbit hops out of its pen] Oh, it's galloping away. Lisa: [chasing it] Here, bunny bunny. Here, bunny. Wiggum: [correcting her] "Here, esquilax".
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Melllvar
DOOP Secretary
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"Ah, 'tis a fine barn, but sure is no pool, English"
D'oh it!
(from Bart Of Darkness - one of the best!)
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Melllvar
DOOP Secretary
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"Man Alive! There are men alive in here!"
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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Rainier Wolfcastle is swept away by a floodwave of acid in "Radioactive Man" Rainier: "My eyes...the goggles do nothing!"
Sideshow Bob: "I'm older, I get the top bunk." Cecil: "Oh, poppycock, I called it at the arraignment."
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~FazeShift~
Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
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Originally posted by haleys_comet: Lisa: Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt Homer's brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
Homer: "TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!!!" Homer's brain: "Heheh, SWISH!"
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Guy
Professor
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Homer using the computer.
(Reading) Homer: To start, press any key. Where's the any key? I see Esk (Esc), Katarl (Ctrl), and Pig Up (Page Up). There doesn't seem to be any any key! Whew, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty. Think I'll order a tab. (Presses tab button. Holds cup up to floppy disk slot. Computer starts.) Oh, no time for that now, the computer's starting!
And later: Homer: Whew, this is hard, where's my tab?
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Archie2K
Space Pope
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From Lisa's Date With Destiny:
Willy: And that's how Willy waters. Now, you take the hoose. Nelson: The moose? Willy: The HOOSE! The HOOSE! [Willy gives the hose to Nelson] Nelson: Is this right? [sprays him] Willy: Aaugh! Turn off the noozle! Nelson: The noodles? What noodles? Willy: The noozle at the end of the hoose!
Sherri: She was looking at Nelson! Kids: [taunting] Lisa likes Nelson! Milhouse: She does not! Kids: [taunting] Milhouse likes Lisa! Janey: He does not! Kids: [taunting] Janey likes Milhouse! Uter: She does not! Kids: [taunting] Uter likes Milhouse! Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!
Joy to the world the teacher's dead! They barbecued her head! What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it goes And 'round and 'round it... goes...
Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely. Phone: Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look... Ned: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again. Maude: Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone. [Ned turns out the light -- the phone rings again] Ned: Howdily-di... Phone: Greetings, friends... [Ned hangs up] Ned: Dang! Maude: I told you to unplug the phone. Ned: But it could be my mother! [the phone rings] Howdy... Phone: Greetings, friends... Ned: [hangs up] Shoot! Maude: That is it, Ned! If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn. Homer: [outside his window] Will you two shut up?! People are trying to sleep! -- then later -- Nelson: Lisa, cops are chasing me! I need a place to hide! [Homer opens his window] Homer: Lisa's window is the next one. Meanwhile, a phone can be heard.
Ned: Howd... Phone: Greetings, friends... Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in? Homer: Shut up!
That is the funniest Simpsons episode ever IMHO.
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MuscaDomestica
Professor
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you forgot one of the best lines from that episode, "You kissed a girl? That is so gay!"
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Guy
Professor
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Originally posted by Archie2K: From Lisa's Date With Destiny:
Willy: And that's how Willy waters. Now, you take the hoose. Nelson: The moose? Willy: The HOOSE! The HOOSE! [Willy gives the hose to Nelson] Nelson: Is this right? [sprays him] Willy: Aaugh! Turn off the noozle! Nelson: The noodles? What noodles? Willy: The noozle at the end of the hoose!
Sherri: She was looking at Nelson! Kids: [taunting] Lisa likes Nelson! Milhouse: She does not! Kids: [taunting] Milhouse likes Lisa! Janey: He does not! Kids: [taunting] Janey likes Milhouse! Uter: She does not! Kids: [taunting] Uter likes Milhouse! Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!
Joy to the world the teacher's dead! They barbecued her head! What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it goes And 'round and 'round it... goes...
Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely. Phone: Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look... Ned: [hangs up] Oh, it's that darn recording again. Maude: Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone. [Ned turns out the light -- the phone rings again] Ned: Howdily-di... Phone: Greetings, friends... [Ned hangs up] Ned: Dang! Maude: I told you to unplug the phone. Ned: But it could be my mother! [the phone rings] Howdy... Phone: Greetings, friends... Ned: [hangs up] Shoot! Maude: That is it, Ned! If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn. Homer: [outside his window] Will you two shut up?! People are trying to sleep! -- then later -- Nelson: Lisa, cops are chasing me! I need a place to hide! [Homer opens his window] Homer: Lisa's window is the next one. Meanwhile, a phone can be heard.
Ned: Howd... Phone: Greetings, friends... Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in? Homer: Shut up!
That is the funniest Simpsons episode ever IMHO. Longest post ever. Except for this one....
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Juliet
DOOP Secretary
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I saw today's episode where Lisa hangs out with college girls. and Bart living in a bubble. It was good.
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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I love the T2 parody in "Homer Loves Flanders". Homer chases the Flandereses car, gaining on them. Maude pleads Ned to go faster, and Ned answers "I can't! It's a Geo!!". Finally Homer catch up, and uses the putters to latch onto the trunk and starts crawling the car, while Rod and Todd scream in fear. Finally Ned makes a sharp turn and Homer rolls off. Looking after the disappearing car, he say "Hmmm, I guess he didn't see me."
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