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Melllvar
DOOP Secretary
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Flanders: I'm a murderer, I'm a mur-diddly-urderer.
Bart: If that ain't Flanders, he's done his homework.
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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From that brilliant episode "Homerpalooza":
Corgan: "Hey cannonball, I like your statement: when life takes a cheap shot at you, you stand your ground. Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins." Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."
From the excellent "Homer At The Bat" (technically not a gag, but one of the best songs of the series so far):
Well, Mr. Burns had done it. The power plant had won it. With Roger Clemens clucking all the while. Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile. While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile.
We're talkin'...Softball From Maine to San Diego. Talkin'...Softball. Mattingly and Canseco. Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw. Steve Sax and his run-in with the law. We're talkin' Homer...Ozzie, and the Straw.
We're talkin'...Softball From Maine to San Diego. Talkin'...Softball. Mattingly and Canseco. Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw. Steve Sax and his run-in with the law. We're talkin' Homer...Ozzie, and the Straw.
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Melllvar
DOOP Secretary
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Homer: You people have stood in my way long enough.....I'm going to clown college.
Bart: I don't think any of us were expecting him to say that.
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Melllvar
DOOP Secretary
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Originally posted by Speli: No, the best of that episode was when he was dilusional, when the people caught fire and he saw dancing clowns... Oooh yeah, forgot that bit. "Clowns are funny"
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Shadowstar
Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #56 on: 08-13-2002 21:30 »
« Last Edit on: 08-13-2002 21:30 »
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I also like the sight gag of Bart as the Raven in "Treehouse of Horror" ... Yes, I also have been watching the Season 2 DVD. And Teral, and speaking of songs...
Whether igloo, hut or vindu or a geodesic dome, there's no structure that I've been to that I'd rather call my home.
Well, when I first arrived you were all such jerks But now I've come to loooooovvve... your quirks! Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Llyod Wright Lisa can philosphise Bart's adept at spinning lies Homer's a delightful fella Sorry 'bout the salmonella Homer: Heh heh, that's OK
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part, Oh won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Marge: Their floors are sticky-mart! Lisa: They make Dad sicky-mart! Bart: Let's hurl a bricky-mart! Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is really-D'oh!
All: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Not meeeeeeeeeeee! Simpsons: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart, good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart, who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Not me!
Homer: Ah, everything really wrapped up nicely, hmm, much quicker than usual Marge: I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it. Homer: And we've all found happiness, every one of us.
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart... I doooooo... Homer: Hey, wait a minute, he's not happy at all, he lied to us through song! I hate when people do that!
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Kryten
Space Pope
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Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food... The only thing I'm hunting for... is an outfit that looks goooooood...
See... my... vest! See my vest! Made from real gorilla chest! Like my sweater? There's no better Than authentic Irish setter. Like my hat? T'was my cat, My eveningwear, a vampire bat. These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino, Grizzly bear underwear, Turtles' necks, I've got my share, Beret of poodle, on my noodle it shall resssssst... Try my red robin suit, It comes one breast or two. See my vest, See my vest, See my vest!
Liiiiiike.... myyyyyy... loafers? Former gophers. But a greyhound-skin tuxedo would be best... So let's prepare thse dogs-- Kill two for matching clogs!-- See my vest, See my vest, Oh pleeeeaaaaase, won't you seeeeeee my vest!
I really like the vest.
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haleys_comet
Starship Captain
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« Reply #59 on: 08-15-2002 01:17 »
« Last Edit on: 08-15-2002 01:17 »
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Judge: How do you find the defendant? Juryman: He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent. Man: Freaked out behavior both chronic and recent Jury: Drinking and driving, narcotics possession Foreman: And that's just page one of his ten page confession Judge: I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us, but this is LA, and you're rich and famous Criminal:I'm checking in All: He's checking in Criminal: I'm checking in All: Checking, checking in Criminal: No more pills or alcohol, No more pot or Demerol, no more stinking fun at all, I'm checking in All: He's checking in, He's checking in Doctor: No more looking pale and thin, No more bugs beneath you're skin Criminal: Hey, that's just my aspirin All: Chuck it out, you're checking in
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MuscaDomestica
Professor
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« Reply #60 on: 08-15-2002 07:51 »
« Last Edit on: 08-15-2002 07:51 »
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From Snpp...
Ape: Help, the human's about to escape. Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape. Apes: [gasping] He can talk! Apes: [in unison, rythmed] He can talk He can talk He can talk He can talk He can talk He can talk Troy: [singing] I can siiiiiing!
[funky beat of "Rock Me Amadeus" starts playing] Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius! Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Oh... Dr. Zaius Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: What's wrong with me? Zaius: I think you're crazy. Troy: Want a second opinion. Zaius: You're also lazy.
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius [one ape starts breakdancing] Oh... Dr. Zaius Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: Can I play the piano anymore? Zaius: Of course you can. Troy: Well I couldn't before! [plays piano]
"You'll Never Make a Monkey Out of Me"
Troy: [singing] I hate every ape I see From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee No you'll never make a monkey out of me
Oh my God, I was wrong It was Earth all along You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey
Troy: Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey out of you
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
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Sarge
Professor
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Originally posted by Ben: "Uh...Murphy... Use...you are a elf...uncontrollably...I think ...a we nom yo ho renge kyo." I don't know how to correctly spell it, but "a we nom yo ho renge kyo" is a Hare Krishna chant. (True story. That's why Matt snuck it in.)
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Sarge
Professor
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Homers' narration-"It wasn't easy juggling a pregnant wife & a 2 year old son, but somehow I managed to fit in 8 hours of TV a day."
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Guy
Professor
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It was a deleted scene, but what the hell....
(Homer is a blackjack dealer. James Bond is playing the villain with the white cat. Homer gives Bond the card)
Bond: Joker? You were supposed to take those out of the pack. Homer: Oh, sorry, here's a fresh one. Bond: Rules for playing stud poker? Villain: What a pity Mr Bond.... (Bond is dragged off) Bond: But, it was Homer's fault. I didn't lose. I never lose. Well at least tell me your plot for world domination. Villain: Ha ha, I'm not falling for that one again....
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Sarge
Professor
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Homer-"HeyBartyawannaseemynewchainsa w&hockeymask?!!"
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Guy
Professor
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Originally posted by Shadowstar: I drunk some Joe in Tahoe They gave me one to three My high-priced lawyer sprung me on a technicality I'm just visiting Springfield Prison I get to sleep at home tonight. I thought it was "I slugged some jerk in Tahoe. I just saw the episode.
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Teral
Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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M O D E L U. N. "ORDER AT ANY COST"
And a pigeon with a machine gun.
Bill Gates: Your Internet ad was brought to my attention, but I can't figure out what, if anything, Compuglobalhypermeganet does, so rather than risk competing with you, I've decided simply to buy you out. Homer: I reluctantly accept your proposal! Bill Gates: Well everyone always does. Buy 'em out, boys! [Gates' lackeys trash the room.] Homer: Hey, what the hell's going on! Bill Gates: Oh, I didn't get rich by writing a lot of checks! [insane laughter]
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