Cynical Evaluations of Cinema: Movie Reviews

[Reply #240 on:]

Ingredients

Another foodie documentary about trying to get people to eat natural food again.  Good information, even if a bit tough to understand at times.

B-

My Future Boyfriend

Made-for-TV movie about a guy who finds a romance novel at the bottom of the (dried up) Pacific Ocean, then travels 1100 years to the past to confront the author about all the emotions therein.  Pretty good, even if predictable, and a few laugh out loud funny lines/scenes.

B

TiMER

Set in the future(?) where a company has a hold on the dating market, because the TiMER lets you know the exact moment you meet your soulmate.  The main character, Oona, is distraught hers is still blank at almost 30.  Really good story, played well by the actors.  Not what you'd think, I'm guessing.

A- (that's crazy high for a chick-flick.)

A Cemetery Special

A look at the art and history of a few American cemeteries, along with discussion of how they came to be commonplace. 

A

A Family Undertaking

A behind-the-scenes of home funerals.  Surprisingly uplifting and informative, especially for a documentary all about death.  Really made me think how things used to be, how things will be in the future, and how I want things done when I die.  Even though the lady just said it's illegal here in Indiana, I like the idea of this home funeral/burial more and more.  Personal feelings aside, this is a really nicely done one hour documentary.

A

[Reply #241 on:]

Quite the opposite of The Dark Tower. 

Let's hope they don't destroy The Dark Tower with bad movies. Nothing would instantly irk millions of people more.

I believe all projects relating with bringing that series to the screen have been abandoned at this point.

That said, I don't like the implications made with the 6th book.

[Reply #242 on:]

Universal have said no, but at this point the rights can be picked up by another studio. Perhaps Warner Bros will pick it up.

I'd love to see HB O take it up as a series though, they've done really good things with Rome and Game Of Thrones.

[Reply #243 on:]

I also don't hate their adaptive series True Blood... although I stopped watching around season 2, which pretty much sucked.

[Reply #244 on:]

To me, the movies not being made is great.  Make people actually READ something for entertainment.  Remember those days?  Besides, a story so epic, any attempt at filming it would be disaster.  I like how it plays in my mind, and crappy CG effects would ruin it all the more.  Are you a tower junkie as well, winna?

(Do we have a thread for this?)

[Reply #245 on:]

My Future Boyfriend

Made-for-TV movie about a guy who finds a romance novel at the bottom of the (dried up) Pacific Ocean, then travels 1100 years to the past to confront the author about all the emotions therein.  Pretty good, even if predictable, and a few laugh out loud funny lines/scenes.

B

Is that the movie with Barry Watson, of 7th Heaven fame? I kept seeing the promos for it a few months back, and all I could think was that he used to be a lot dreamier.

To me, the movies not being made is great.  Make people actually READ something for entertainment.  Remember those days?  

At least making a movie, and heavily promoting it as something that's based on a book, tends to drum up sales for the book in question. If the relationship between the two media can be synergistic, then I'm all for adapting books into movies. (Unless the adaptation sucks, which is usually the case when you hand over a beautiful, expansive book to a mediocre producer.)

[Reply #246 on:]

To me, the movies not being made is great.  Make people actually READ something for entertainment.  Remember those days?

The thing is, I've read the books and now I want to see somebody bring it to life on the screen. If they do it right, it could be absolutely stunning. Mid-world is a place that screams to be re-imagined in a visual medium.

CG effects would be awful, but I'd like to hope that they'd recognise this early on and use traditional effects where possible.

[Reply #247 on:]

Also they could get Stephen King to be in it.  Just kidding, the 6th book ruins everything.

[Reply #248 on:]

Sling Blade

What the hell did I just watch, I reckon?

[Reply #249 on:]

 

[Reply #250 on:]

I disagree about DT on the screen.  It could be the greatest movie(s) ever made, but the odds of it being done well to me are infintessimal.  I fully enjoy the movie my mind projects whilst I read the books.  And seriously, how would they portray Oy?  CG dog? Wolf? He certainly couldn't be left out.  SK would make a cameo, I'm sure.  He always does.

Gorky:  I think so. 

[Reply #251 on:]

Who do you think SK would make a cameo as?

[Reply #252 on:]

I disagree about DT on the screen.  It could be the greatest movie(s) ever made, but the odds of it being done well to me are infintessimal.  I fully enjoy the movie my mind projects whilst I read the books.  And seriously, how would they portray Oy?  CG dog? Wolf? He certainly couldn't be left out.  SK would make a cameo, I'm sure.  He always does.

Gorky:  I think so. 

SK would probably play himself. Oy could be played by pretty much any animal that resembles either a dog or a racoon. Or he could be portrayed by Andy Serkiss then later he could be erased and a bizarre CG creation shopped in over the top, like with Gollum in LOTR. At least that way, the actors would have something to respond to.

[Reply #253 on:]

SK would probably play himself.  I was thinking for a second until I saw you typed that and then had a "duh" moment.  I always pictured Aaron Deepneau being Paul Newman.  Guess that won't happen.

[Reply #254 on:]

I tried getting tickets to watch Captain A tomorrow but there's something wrong with the damn website

Stupid defective website upgrade.

[Reply #255 on:]

Horrible Bosses (Some spoilers, I guess.)

Ugh. It has its moments, but it's mostly awful. It's not even that the whole thing is in such bad taste--it's just that, in terms of plotting (the resolution, in particular), it's a mess.  The chemistry between the three guys is good, and when they just bounce off one another it's kind of fun to watch. Unfortunately, the movie mostly concerns itself with lousy plot twists and gross-out humor and tons of swearing. But, hey, if you want to see Jennifer Aniston pretend to masturbate in a bathtub while Charlie Day talks about how badly he wants to do her, this might be the movie for you.

D

[Reply #256 on:]

I thought Horrible Bosses was awesome.

[Reply #257 on:]

I didn't mind watching Jason Bateman and Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis play off one another; they had good chemistry as this bumbling duo of boss-killing friends. The moments that felt improv-y (like where Kurt asks Dale why anyone would trust him to work on his teeth, and Dale says that he actually just hands the dentist the tools) were enjoyable, as was the whole dropping-the-box-of-coke sequence, but overall? Meh. The premise of the movie, and its execution (ha-ha, I made a pun), didn't do it for me. 

[Reply #258 on:]

I thought Horrible Bosses was a great premise (albeit ripped off from Strangers On a Train) and very well plotted. It was hardly breaking new ground or anything, but it did what it did well and I found it very funny -mostly thanks to Kevin Spacey.

[Reply #259 on:]

I thought Horrible Bosses was a great premise (albeit ripped off from Strangers On a Train)

You mean "Throw Momma From the Train"?

[Reply #260 on:]

Yes, that's right. Hitchcock's "Throw Momma From the Train".

[Reply #261 on:]

Space Battleship Yamato

Saw this at the local film festival. Live-action and CGI version of the anime. And they did damn well. Somewhat cheesy at times, but a really fun film. If you liked Battlestar Galactica, you'll like this too. Subbed, not dubbed.

[Reply #262 on:]

Super

Rainn Wilson plays Frank, a much put upon and endlessly gutless character who's wife (played by Liv Tyler) buggers off with the local Heroin dealer, Kevin Bacon.  Determined to win her back at all costs, answering a call from the "almighty" (literally touched by the finger of God), he dons a shabby superhero costume and fights crime as The Crimson Bolt, catchphrase: "Shut up, crime!", and armed with a monkey wrench with which he administers severe beatings to all and sundry wrongdoers (especially those who cut in line at Cinemas).

After bagging a kid sidekick in Ellen Page's nutso psychopathic Boltie, who joins his quest to rid the city of crime and win back his wife, and end Kevin Bacon's career as a drug lord.

In turns it's utterly bizarre, laugh out loud hilarious, and horrifically violent.  It has a low budget handheld feel to it, which added to the films oddness.  The final set piece is as violent as it is touching.  Comparisons with Kick-Ass are perhaps unfair, as this isn't as polished as that movie, and it has more scenes of brutal edginess (the scene in which Frank dishes out punishment to the couple who butted in line at the movie theatre is as strong as it is funny).  It surfs that line between brutality and hilarity all the way through.

I enjoyed it.

7.5 /10

[Reply #263 on:]

Captain America: The First Avenger

As comic book superhero movies go, this was one of the better ones I've seen.  I like how they managed to work in stuff like the original shield, Cap punching Hitler in the face, and the Howling Commandos.

Like a lot of superhero movies these days, much of the story was spent on the hero's origin.  This actually worked pretty well in this case, especially if you consider this movie as a lead in to the upcoming Avengers film.

I'm not really a big fan of the idea that all movies are in 3D these days, but this one is probbably worth seeing in 3D.  Some of the scenes seemed to have been filmed just for the 3D effect, what with the shield tossing and all.  I did have a bit of a headache by the end, but that might have been from the Avengers trailer after the credits rather than from the 3D glasses.

6 out of 7

[Reply #264 on:]

Horrible Bosses: The Bosses Who Are Not Really Nice At All
It made me laugh a few times and the casting was pretty good but you're bound to like at least one person in it, I just happen to like the three main guys, and the supporting cast.
It might be one of those films you're only going to laugh at in a cinema like most recent comedies (as in viewing on your own doesn't do it for you) but it's decent.

B

[Reply #265 on:]

Super

I read this review and thought that Super seemed my kind of film, so I accquired it last night and have just finished watching it.

Holy fuck, it's dark. I mean, it's fucking dark. Heavy spoilers ahead.

Show spoiler

Frank is your basic average nobody with a not-so-average habit of having "visions". When his wife (a recovering addict) leaves him for a local dealer, Frank's psychosis takes an interesting turn. He turns from a bumbling everyman to a violent and fucking hardcore avenger, accquiring a sidekick who is every bit as nuts as him. When they team up, suddenly things get even more hardcore than they were before. Frank on his own busts people's heads open with a wrench (having learned that bad guys don't respond well to "stop doing that" without a weapon to back it up). This is done fairly cheerfully, compared to the next stage.

Frank with Libby as his partner is fucking grim. She's got a hard-on for causing physical harm, and he's got a moral crusade. Combine them, and suddenly you've got an avenging angel and a pyschotic demon who decide after being chased by Kevin Bacon's goons (and killing one, permenantly diabling the other) that they're going to stop pussyfooting around. In the absence of real super powers, Frank decides the only way to take down Jock (Kevin Bacon's character) is to load up on guns and ammo, then discard most of it in favour of home-made pipe bombs and a bunch of low-budget bat-gadgets.

They storm Jock's mansion as he prepartes to make the deal of his career, and predictably a firefight ensues.

Boltie is killed, and it ramps up yet another level, as Frank's avenging angel seems to meld with her psycopathic spirit to take on the dealer's shotgun-wielding thugs. Charging them in his homemade armour, he takes them all out like a professional. By which I mean not like a professional at all. More like somebody who's decided that a professional doesn't do the job thoroughly enough. There are multiple shotgun blasts to the face of most thugs, but he's not averse to giving them a mild stabbing as well. Then a more severe stabbing. Then a stabbing that might even be more stabbing than is necessary.

Frank gets his wife back, stabs Kevin Bacon to death in front of her, and then two months later she leaves him anyway. Frank's left with nothing at the end of the movie, except a bunch of pictures that she has her kids draw for him... and a pet rabbit.

Somehow, Frank's convinced himself the whole thing was totally worth it, and is content to desperately hug his pet rabbit whilst crying and staring at the wall of scribbled artwork - it's not clear whether Sarah's kids drew this or he did, to be honest.

It's the darkest film I've ever seen, and everybody in it does a superb job. The film is perfect for those who want to be struck dumb by the bleakness of the world in which they live. Realistically, if some guy went Caped Crusader on the problems around him, it might actually turn out pretty close to the events of this film.

Oh, it's also a comedy, so pretty much every single thing I've described is played for laughs - the really disturbing thing is that it's very fucking funny, and it's only once the film ends that you realise what you've been laughing at.

It's definitely worth watching, but be warned. You'll love it. Which you might hate yourself for, just a little. It's the most badass movie I've seen in a long time, and it's got a realism to it that's just a little frightening on some deep level that exists beyond the film.

9/10

Melllvar, thankyou for introducing me to this movie.

[Reply #266 on:]

Captain America

If you really needed evidence that Marvels film universe building was working then there is no better example than Captain America. The film does not feel the need to stop and explain why Norse mythological artifacts can exist in the real world, becuase they already have in Thor.

The film really worked for me and it was nice to see a hero who could fight well in their costume, in fact I would go an say this film has some of the best fighting of a superhero movie.  Chris Evans started making up for his role in the Fantastic Four in Scott Pilgram and after this film all if forgiven.  Hugo Weaving makes a great Red Skull and the rest of the cast is soild.

I loved all the incidental details at the world fair (like the orginal Human tourch).  I also wonder if part of the film was forshadowing Bucky's eventual role.  I also liked that the film took place over a few years rather than it being just over a few short weeks.

All that is left to say is don't mess the next one up Mr Whedon.

9/10

[Reply #267 on:]

Super

Melllvar, thankyou for introducing me to this movie.

You're welcome, your reaction was exactly the same as mine, I laughed a lot, but then thought I was going to hell for how much I enjoyed the savagery of it all.

And you're right, if someone really donned a costume and decided to fight crime, it would turn out like this.

[Reply #268 on:]

Enter The Void

I'm not exactly sure what prompted me to check this out on Netflix, but I did, and managed to get all the way through it (although not all at once). The film is shot from the first-person perspective of drug addict living in Tokyo who is shot and killed by police, then has an out-of-body experience where he witnesses the past, present, and future of his own life and his friends and family. What stands out the most about this film are some of the transitional sequences between scenes. There are psychadelic sequences where the camera will zoom in on some object in a scene, then have you watch changing patterns for a while before zooming out onto another scene. For example, there's an abortion scene that zooms in on the aborted fetus to transition into the next scene (which makes this the second film I've ever seen where you get to stare at an aborted fetus for an uncomfortable amount of time after 4 Months, 3 Weeks, And 2 Days...not something I ever thought I'd say). There are also parts where the main character's spirit, I suppose, flies over large parts of Tokyo, and some of these parts go on longer than you might expect. On one hand, I like these sections, they're a unique way of breaking up the film and give you a sort of hazy surreal feeling about the trip this character is having, but on the other hand they sometimes feel like a way for the director to waste time in the film...which is an odd thing to say, because the film is almost 2 and a half hours long, but I think is still valid because despite all that other time, not much of significance really happens. You get to see how his death negatively affects the life of his sister, and you get to watch as he spies on a bunch of people having sex, but there's no climax, no real point to the whole thing, and it ends abruptly. The whole point of the film is really just to let you experience one man's journey after dying, and while I wouldn't say I hated watching the film, I certainly don't think I would have missed out if I hadn't seen it.

C

Midnight In Paris

This movie is pretty much the ultimate nerd fantasy, and if you're at all versed in the history of famous Europeans from the 20s, you'll get immense pleasure from this film. It's also very funny and insightful (even if a bit obviously so). Owen Wilson really shines here (I've always liked him as a comedic actor but he's in a lot of crap films) as well as the rest of the cast. I definitely recommend this one.

A

Bridesmaids

This one made me laugh quite a lot, and it has a good life lesson that I think a lot of people could learn from. The only thing that soured me on it is the very end, where one character changes his mind about something for no apparent reason, but it didn't bother me that much and I still had fun watching this.

B+

The Wrestler

A Darren Aronofsky film that isn't about someone going insane? With no surreal or seemingly supernatural sequences?
This film is excellent, it paints a great picture of the reality of professional wrestling as a career nowadays (I want to show this film to any kid who loves wrestling to open their eyes haha), as well as being a very realistic portrait of an older man who has basically been a complete failure in all aspects of his life except for his one skillset. It's touching as well as a bit funny at times (as someone who works in a grocery store I loved watching the parts where he works behind a deli counter). Mickey Rourke is simply fantastic, it's been a long time since I've believed an actor as a certain character so much.

A

[Reply #269 on:]

I think you just like watching abortions and dmt trips Josh.

Super

I miss Boltie.

Edit: I actually don't think I should be allowed to watch movies like either of these.  I'm beginning to suspect that I have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality.  I'm rather devastated that Boltie is gone.

[Reply #270 on:]

I have to say that I did let out a "Nooooooooo!" at the fate of Boltie....

[Reply #271 on:]

It makes me want to buy black fabric, go to my apartment, quit my job, make a dark cloak and fight crime... I mean kill people who are bad and helped to shoot Boltie.

[Reply #272 on:]

Harry Potter 7B

Saw it, liked it, reccommend it. I'd also like to mention I went with a group and we saw it in 3D. I didn't think it added anything really but whatever, I had a good time. We alll added Voldy's "Nnnyyeeeeeehhhh!" scream in when applicable.

6/7 horcruxes same as the first half. Overall if this film was stitched together, I'd give it at 95% out of 100. The last five docked for the lame-ass ending but it was handled well for what it was.

[Reply #273 on:]

I also wonder if part of the film was forshadowing Bucky's eventual role.

I wondered the same thing.  I hope not.

Just let Bucky stay dead, like they should have done in the comics.

[Reply #274 on:]

I also wonder if part of the film was forshadowing Bucky's eventual role.

I wondered the same thing.  I hope not.

Just let Bucky stay dead, like they should have done in the comics.

Indeed mostly becuase I liked to use him as one of the few comic character who died and stayed dead (Bucky, Jason Todd, Uncle Ben....please don't tell me they resurrected Uncle Ben recently)

[Reply #275 on:]

Zombie Uncle Ben will be the next Spiderman villain.

[Reply #276 on:]

Does Peter Parker really deserve any more angst?

[Reply #277 on:]

Captain America

If you really needed evidence that Marvels film universe building was working then there is no better example than Captain America.
9/10

Indeed. It's a decent origin story for Captain America, but my complaint is that it really was just that - an origin story. It felt very much like there was no real need to have a film made about it when it could've been condensed into half an hour and put on the Avengers DVD as an extra.

Spoiler territory coming up.

Show spoiler

That said, I did enjoy it - and I thoroughly approve of the post-credits sequence. The copy I got skipped the credits and just rolled right through into it though. I suppose if I had to sit through the credits, I might have had more complaints.

The Crimson Skull was fantastically realised - I hope we've not seen the last of him, although I do have to wonder where the Tesseract took him.

The scenes where Captain America prances around as a music-hall salesman shilling War Bonds could've been cut for me. I'm thinking they could've launched straight from the first steps onto a stage to his being booed off it by the actual troops. Also, WTF was Agent Carter doing assigned to an active field unit? Women weren't assigned fighting roles during WWII. Neither were black people. Both of those stand for me as jarring knocks to the realism of the film (although I can't complain too much about lack of realism in a superhero movie where the bad guy literally has a red skull for a face and the whole plot revolves around ancient technology from Asgard).

The nazi scientist didn't get executed or anything. Boo-urns. I was waiting for him to get a "redemption equals death" moment. Also, he's the Dreamlord from Doctor Who. Wooyay!

As has already been stated, Hugo Weaving does an amazing job as the villain, but I do think that he overshadows the hero somewhat. If Captain America had been just a tad more agressive, it wouldn't have been out of place.

I loved the period-appropriate NYC sets - I really wish I could visit New York in that era. The cars were so much nicer, for one thing.

Speaking of that era, Howard Stark was a welcome face... firmly blending the continuity with Thor and Iron Man, and also making a fine job of showcasing that Tony Stark's father didn't always quite know what the fuck he was doing. Another brilliant job there - but again, managing somehow to overshadow Captain America when in the same room with him. Steve Rogers has to be the most understated superhero ever. I'm not sure if I like it entirely, but it's a promising idea.

Finally, Tommy Lee Jones steals the entire show. He has all the best lines, and is every inch the perfect World War Two era general. Shame that means he's dead come the time for the actual Avengers movie.

Worth watching, if not worth paying to see.

8/10

[Reply #278 on:]

Show spoiler

The Crimson Skull was fantastically realised - I hope we've not seen the last of him, although I do have to wonder where the Tesseract took him.

Show spoiler

When the Red Skull was transported to that nebula, my first thought was "was that the same nebula Loki fell into and the end of Thor".  It may not be but certainly seems like a probablity

[Reply #279 on:]

That is actually a very nice idea, wu.