Cynical Evaluations of Cinema: Movie Reviews

[Reply #120 on:]

Green Lantern



First of all, I'm going to be up front...it's not as bad as you've heard. It's bad, for sure...but it's not, say, Transformers 2 bad. It's more...Transformers 1 bad.

Another thing I'll make clear, I watched this BEFORE X-Men: First Class, so it's not like I was spoiled by that film before seeing this one. I just haven't felt like writing a review for it yet. But I suppose I should so I can keep people from going to see it in theaters, because it's one of the worst superhero films in a while.

I'll actually admit, I didn't have much problem with the first part of the film. It's a bit lazily set up, but they do essentially follow the comic storyline (I don't think it's the ORIGINAL comic story but rather the more popular newer one) as to how he gets the ring. A lot of other reviews say that the CGI is really bad, but I disagree...particularly in the training scene I think the CGI is used in fun and somewhat unique ways, even if it's not as creative as it could be.

The movie quickly sinks into crap though. The story is overly simple and badly developed. They take things from the beginning of the film that have potential and then ruin them. The best example is with the sub-villain, Hector Hammond. At the beginning of the movie his character is possibly the most interesting part of the entire film. Peter Sarsgaard's acting is pretty damn good in the beginning, as he plays a very intelligent and sympathetic character with daddy issues and social anxiety. But then his character is mutated by the main villain Parallax's genes, and instead of using that to deepen the character, the movie chooses to turn him into a boring, cheesy caricature of a bad guy, with a big ugly forehead and a cackling laugh. After this point his character causes some random havoc with no perceivable motive, then Parallax himself comes in and just kills the guy after saying "You've failed me" (what the hell he was trying to use him for in the first place I suppose will remain a total mystery...boy I wish that wasn't the only plot hole). Everything you found out about Hammond's character before he changes is completely abandoned and never touched upon again...it's a complete waste and a shame.

But what really destroys this movie are the bouts of terrible acting. And none is more pronounced than with Hal Jordan's love interest, Carol Ferris. Blake Lively's acting is just downright bad, and the scenes between her and Reynolds are almost cringeworthy...in fact they get worse and worse as the film progresses.

Eh, not much more to say about this...

C-

[Reply #121 on:]

My problem with Peter Sarsgaard's character more than anything else -the fact that he was a whiny little bastard who has no real reason of being in the movie at all- is that the movie expected me to believe that Tim Robbins was his father. I can't, I just cannot get on board with that, they looked like they were 5 years apart in age. If it was his brother or uncle, fine, but his father absolutely not.

And when he came out at the end in the wheelchair, I laughed, I died laughing so hard. There is nothing intimidating about a villain who reminds you of Stephen Hawkin.

[Reply #122 on:]

Cars 2

I finally got around to seeing this film and I have some stuff to say about it. First off I'd like to mention for a Pixar film it's rather dark at times. Seems that Pixar's willing to give us more darkness after TS3 went over so well with the incinerator bit. Lots of action, lots of exploding and dying, and racing too. This is a spy film with cars, so the racing is a secondary thing. Personally I enjoyed the plot. I felt that it dealt with a slight twist on the real world's oil crisis kinda like how Wall-E was Pixar's take on going green. While I don't hate Mater, he isn't my favorite character but it didn't bother me he was the leading role this time. It was an enjoyable ride and I would want to see it again. Also, I liked the tribute to Doc Hudson who isn't in the film because Paul Newman sadly passed away a few years ago.

B+

Show spoiler

It only annoyed me how Sarge had changed Lightning's fuel even though the whole time we assume Allinol is what they're all racing on. So had he given Lightning the organic stuff the whole race? I call cheaters. I just saw it as a last-minute cop out for not destroying Lightning.

[Reply #123 on:]

Transformers 3

It has a stupid title so I'm just referring to it as Transformers 3. Let me just say, thank GOD! It was not as horrendously eye-gouging as the last film, but it seriously could have done without I don't know the first hour of the film. And seriously, why the fuck do Shia LaBeouf's parents keep coming back? Ok so they didn't at least miraculously show up in Chicago but still. Them and John Tuturro's pain in the ass character did not need to be in this at all. This movie couldn't decide what genre it wanted to be, it shifted from light romantic comedy, to that awkward Shia LeBeouf comedy, to a war drama, to an action film, to a teenage comedy, and softcore porn if you include Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's introduction. Speaking of which, the critics are ripping her a new one, saying that she makes Megan Fox look like freaking Cate Blanchette or someone. Bollix! Pure bollix! RHW acts circles around Megan Fox, this new girlfriend actually had credibility and had something to do in this film. And she is so pretty, they didn't need to overly exploit her sexuality like they did with Fox. She does not come off as a skank is what I'm saying. I liked her and her accent was beautiful. I've never had a real opinion of Fox, I just kind of acknowledged she was there, but I liked RHW genuinely. I like this movie more than the first one just because of her character.

I think Michael Bay actually listened to the criticisms of the last Transformers and attempted to actually fix them. I can tolerate this movie, at points I even like this movie a lot, that is to say it still isn't anything worth writing home about. All the pointless roles of major celebrities -I kept thinking John Malcovich what are you doing here?- and even that Ken Jeong fellow -playing the exact same character he has played in every other movie I've seen him in, luckily he dies- I could have done without but then again it is a big budget hollywood movie. I actually got a headache by the end of this one.

No more Transformers please, these movies are inconsistent, ripe with continuity and logical errors, and even the ending of this one leaves the viewer with many questions that need to be addressed.

Show spoiler

Uh hi...they just showed us that there are Decepticons all over the world, the Autobots are seriously limited and will probably be killed. Yet the movie just expects that when the ultimate source of energy that the Decepticons have been using is destroyed that all these other robots no where near the initial battle just die off or something. Also what about that black hole, that really had no effect on the earth as it imploded on itself? But hey those annoying little Autobots actually die! Yay!

This one is fun to poke holes at, because there are so many and the dialogue and reactions of Shia -who screams at everyone the first hour- its just a jolly old time. Note: It still sucks.

C

[Reply #124 on:]

Dance Flick

[Reply #125 on:]

Why would you watch a movie with that many Wayanses?

[Reply #126 on:]

"Wayanses" is the only word in the English language that is a perfect anagram for "Swansea.....................y".

The brightest Wayanbow always comes after a storm.

Tangled is the only movie mentioned on this preview page that I've seen recently. I can agree with Gorky's review. The songs were okay; it's been about two months and I can still vaguely remember how two of the early songs go ('Mother Knows Best' and 'I've Got a Dream'), that's quite good for a movie I was barely paying any attention to. The villain had good potential for a Disney character -- I was expecting her to develop genuine feelings of motherhood and have an internal conflict over re-imprisoning Rapunzel which is then quashed -- but it never materialised like I thought it would. Some parts felt a bit rushed. Why did the horse join up with them? So, were Kaa the Python and Sir Hiss supposed to be the same character at different points in the timeline? This is the end of my review of Tangled.

[Reply #127 on:]

Why would you watch a movie with that many Wayanses?

I don't know, it was on Netflix.

[Reply #128 on:]

The Trip
Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon as semi-fictional versions of themselves tour the North of Englands best restaurants to review them for The Observer paper.
Coogan had originally planned to bring his American girlfriend but she didn't want to go, so he apprehensively asks Brydon along.
The premise is fictional but they essentially play themselves in a great kind of possibly real life love-hate friendship they have, very funny with a dark undertone of tired-of-being-friends-with-this-person kind of way.

Based off a TV series which I haven't seen.
B

[Reply #129 on:]

It's not based off a TV series so much as it's edited together from a TV series.

[Reply #130 on:]

Oh, well, it was pretty good anyway, if you like Coogan or Brydon or both.

[Reply #131 on:]

Since its finally been released here I finally got to see Kung Fu Panda 2, finally.

And you know what? I liked it. Perhaps not quite as much as the original but it was still pretty good.

One question though—

Show spoiler

How is the invention of the canon supposed to spell the end of Kung Fu?   

I rate it somewhere around the B++/A–– region.

[Reply #132 on:]

Dance Flick

I take it that words can't be used to describe how bad it is. Makes the 2nd TF movie look good.

[Reply #133 on:]

I've not heard of Dance Flick but even based on the name I wouldn't go and see it because it sounds awful, why would you go and see something that you know will be awful?
Are you dense? Or retarded or something?
I'm the goddamn Batman!

[Reply #134 on:]

Since its finally been released here I finally got to see Kung Fu Panda 2, finally.

And you know what? I liked it. Perhaps not quite as much as the original but it was still pretty good.

One question though—

Show spoiler

How is the invention of the canon supposed to spell the end of Kung Fu?   

I rate it somewhere around the B++/A–– region.

I will try to explain:

Show spoiler

Well, if the cannons kill EVERYONE that knows kung fu and if he also destroys the places it's written down... There's a good chance it would be destroyed or severely deterred...

[Reply #135 on:]

City Lights
 
It's silent Charlie Chaplin fare that's pretty entertaining.  Some of the jokes run longer than this modern viewer would've liked, but the slapstick is still quite humorous.  The relationship between Chaplin's tramp and the blind love interest is portrayed with less camp than I'd expect in a silent film.  The portrayal of the wealthy is much, much less not over the top.

[Reply #136 on:]

GalaxyQuest
Nice Rack Sigourney!
9/10

[Reply #137 on:]

Green Lantern

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I think that I've read way too many Green Lantern comics to ever be satisfied with any movie adaptation anyway though.

Stuff I didn't like:

First of all, Ryan Reynolds should not be playing Hal Jordan, or any other superhero for that matter.  He's just not convincing.  Maybe he could pass as Kyle Rayner, but not Hal Jordan.

Also, we really could have done without that establishing shot at the beginning with Hal waking up in bed with some random floozy.  Sure, Hal Jordan is supposed to be something of a ladies' man, but he's not Barney Stinson.  Besides, for the rest of the movie he's so in love with Carol Ferris that you'd wonder why he'd even be interested in other women.

I really wasn't happy that the movie acknowledged the existance of Parallax, much less that it made him/it the big bad.  Let's just hope that the sequel doesn't contain any further Geoff Johns "taste the rainbow" style nonsense.

To quote my friend Craig who watched this with me, "When will they learn to stop killin' the villain in superhero movies?"  Seriously, Hollywood, knock it off.

Stuff I did like:

I loved all the scenes on Oa with the other Green Lanterns.  More of this in the sequel please.

I loved all the scenes with Tom "Pieface" Kalmaku.  More of him in the sequel please.

It made me happy that Tomar-Re was given a prominent role.  I know that I sort of covered that already when I said that I liked the scenes with the other Lanterns, but Tomar-Re is worth mentioning twice.

I was also happy to see the absence of characters who wouldn't be members of the Corps yet when Hal joined, like Katma Tui and Arisia.  Maybe we'll see Katma in the sequel.

I thought that Hector Hammond was a good choice as the main antagonist.  He's a classic Green Lantern villain who doesn't require a lot of backstory, and he worked well.  It doesn't look like we'll be seeing him in the sequel though (see above).

Other stuff:

I didn't get to see it in 3-D because Bayformers 3 was using all the 3-D at the theater where I saw it, so I can't comment on the 3-D effects.  I bet some of the scenes looked pretty cool in 3-D, though.

The appearance of Amanda Waller makes me wonder if they might be building toward a Justice League movie in the same way that the Marvel films are building toward an Avengers film.  That could possibly be really good, or it could suck.  Unfortunately, we're probably stuck with Christian Bale as Batman either way.

Overall rating: 5 out of 7

[Reply #138 on:]

So, I finally, finally got around to seeing Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

All I can say, is wow. Absolutely everything I was told it would be and more. It completely warmed my heart, Michael Cera's Scott was just as damnable as he was likeable, and the effects were just amazing.

I was hooked from the beginning to be honest, when the Universal sign appeared pixelated with the old style effects on the music. From there, it was just loving it more and more. The villains were cool, there was a lot of decent humour, mixed in with the more serious stuff, and the background characters were just as good as the main characters, if not better in some cases.

Also, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is damn hot in this role. I can't say much for the male characters but wow she's fun to watch, and the girl on girl fight scenes. Excellent.

So in short...

A+

[Reply #139 on:]

Agreed with your entire review.

[Reply #140 on:]

Nutmeg, SPVTW is one of my fave films ever, but you haven't experienced the full awesomeness of Scott Pilgrim if you haven't read the books...

[Reply #141 on:]

Since its finally been released here I finally got to see Kung Fu Panda 2, finally.

And you know what? I liked it. Perhaps not quite as much as the original but it was still pretty good.

One question though—

Show spoiler

How is the invention of the canon supposed to spell the end of Kung Fu?  

I rate it somewhere around the B++/A–– region.

I will try to explain:

Show spoiler

Well, if the cannons kill EVERYONE that knows kung fu and if he also destroys the places it's written down... There's a good chance it would be destroyed or severely deterred...

I assume they're taking some license with the historical reality that the introduction of guns heralded the end of the age of the samurai in Japan. Or possibly some Chinese equivalent of the same. It's possible I'm giving them too much credit though.

Interesting fact: firefox objects to chinese not being capitalized, but not japan.

[Reply #142 on:]

Nutmeg, SPVTW is one of my fave films ever, but you haven't experienced the full awesomeness of Scott Pilgrim if you haven't read the books...

Unless you're not really into that style of art or graphic novels in general. Which many people aren't.

[Reply #143 on:]

Green Lantern
Ok so even though I read comics, I never really got into the super hero comics and as such know nothing about the established Lantern lore so I can probably judge this film better from a movie-goer's standpoint. The visuals were pretty damn good. The worlds looked fantastic, and while the alien characters still had that obvious CG look, they were really detailed. The movie was slow in parts, but for me it never got so boring I needed to look at my watch to wonder when the heck it would end. I really like Ryan Reynolds as eye candy, and I thought he did ok as Hal but I wouldn't mind seeing someone else play him in the future. If you see it in theaters you MUST stay until after the credits. There's a scene during this time I nearly missed out on. I think that Josh pointed out the rest of the film's bad points but it was entertainment for my slow weekend. If this film was supposed to draw in new fans, it might've piqued my interest to look into the comics.

C+
Not the best super hero film, but not the worst. Don't expect a complex plot.

[Reply #144 on:]

If this film was supposed to draw in new fans, it might've piqued my interest to look into the comics.

If you do, try to find some of the older stuff.  The stories from the '70s and '80s are the best, but anything prior to 1994 is good.  All of the newer stuff is crap.

[Reply #145 on:]

I just realised I posted that link in the wrong thread anyway, disregard!  

Countdown to Zero
Documentary about nukes and how easy it would be for le terrorists to get one.
Has interviews with Gorbachev and Carter, and tells us how Yeltsin saved the world!

It didn't mention Stanislav Petrov though, the Russian guy who also prevented an accidental retaliation strike against the US, which I was disappointed in.
C

I also watched the LOTR trilogy again in HD:
"Forth Eorlingas!" - Fuck yeah, epic.

[Reply #146 on:]

If only there were some sort of moderator who could move the posts to the relevant thread.  Oh well, "ifs and buts", hey?

[Reply #147 on:]

Yes, where is Xanfor?!

Edit: Ok I did it, but now the newly split-merged topic makes me a double poster.

[Reply #148 on:]

Typically, except where haiku are involved, I trust you to know what you're doing.

[Reply #149 on:]

Unless you're not really into that style of art or graphic novels in general. Which many people aren't.

That's not the point, the books are completely different at many plot points, like for example, the 5th and 6th Exes, in the movie they have a Band Battle, but in the book they build a robot that fights Scott at a party.

[Reply #150 on:]

Nutmeg, SPVTW is one of my fave films ever, but you haven't experienced the full awesomeness of Scott Pilgrim if you haven't read the books...

They do a decent job with the film. The books do add a little, but not a whole lot... the style and general undefinable aura have been captured well by the film, and by reading the books you get just a hint of a wider story than you see on screen.

Not that I'm saying the comic books aren't worth reading, but I don't think that the differences mean you'll have a greater experience of the awesome if you read them. It's the same as watching Season One of Futurama, and then reading comic-ized versions of those same episodes, with the occasinal minor difference thrown in there. Same overall story, different medium, and overall the same level of immersion and enjoyment.

That said, Danny is right that it shouldn't be the point if you're not reading them because you don't like comic books. If you like something, you really ought to be impartial to the medium in which the story is delivered. For example, I'd quite happily read an official, canon, Futurama novel (I've read a few fanfic novellas by people like Xanfor and Coldangel, and I'd be happy for one of them to write it), but I'd be equally happy to see it as a movie, to read it as a comic book, or to play through it as a videogame. Seeing it acted out in live-action by a group of performing bunnies would also be acceptable.

[Reply #151 on:]

Harry Potter 7 Part 2

Was good, quite a few changes from the book (some bigger some smaller), a lot of great action and effects, important scenes were intact (some more, some less).


I might write a longer review later, but probably not, cause I can't really be arsed.

[Reply #152 on:]

Harry Potter 7 Part 2  too

I concurr. It didn't completely wow me but overall my initial impression is that this movie didn't disappoint me (thank goodness).

Well, I'm disappointed that there isn't any more Harry Potter to come but that's not this movie's fault. Not that I'm a rabid HP fan, mind. I'm not one of those sad, sad individuals who went to the midnight session; no, the 6:15 am (IMAX) showing was good enough for me!  

I'll go and see it again in the weekend but for now I'm going giving it a rating around the A–/A mark.

[Reply #153 on:]

Trading on Thin Air

Depressing documentary comes in, nothing you can do about the stuff they're talking about in it comes out.

You can't explain that.

Edited:

Insidious

First 10 mins, dam this movie is slow.

Next 20 mins, now it's getting somewhere.

Rest of the movie: dam this movie is silly with is Astroglide and poltergeist rip off crap. *Turns it off*

First 30 mins C , rest F--

[Reply #154 on:]

Harry Potter 7 Part 2  too

I concurr. It didn't completely wow me but overall my initial impression is that this movie didn't disappoint me (thank goodness).

Well, I'm disappointed that there isn't any more Harry Potter to come but that's not this movie's fault. Not that I'm a rabid HP fan, mind. I'm not one of those sad, sad individuals who went to the midnight session; no, the 6:15 am (IMAX) showing was good enough for me!   

I'll go and see it again in the weekend but for now I'm going giving it a rating around the A–/A mark.

I went to see it at the midnight showing, like the sad individual that I am.  I loved it a lot, and was especially reminded how much I absolutely love Alan Rickman. Of course, I have the same problems with the movie that I had with the book, but certain things were done so well that I felt those problems a little less (also, frankly, most of the things I hated about book 7, like whiny Ron and the deaths of Hedwig and Dobby, were in part 1).
The whole theater cheered at "Not my daughter, you bitch!", and everyone groaned when the epilogue came on. Both of those things also helped.
9/10

[Reply #155 on:]

"wtf zookeeper wasent even funny"

-Quote of the day from my juggalo cousin's facebook.

[Reply #156 on:]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2

Aaaargh, I cried so much. I actually physically sobbed for a good five minutes at one point.

It had good points, it had bad points. I'll spoiler them:

Good:

Show spoiler

Snape's character was done exceptionally well. Alan Rickman is fantastic and he completely managed to convey the tortured feelings of the character. I could honestly see his struggle the whole movie and I love that.
They left in my three favourite bits, the bits I would not have forgiven them if they had left them out. And they not only left them in - they did them well! The scene in the woods, Molly's pwning of Bellatrix and the battle in general all left me feeling completely blown away and emotional.
The deaths were amazingly true to the book. We didn't see Fred's Death which was a point for the bad, but the scene where we see his and Remus and Tonks' bodies was amazingly sad and was the point where I started sobbing uncontrollably.
The Room of Requirement and the Fiend Fyre. Both done extremely well.
Neville. Just Neville. And Luna.
And a lot of other things, but those stand out for me.

Bad:

Show spoiler

They missed out the entire Dumbledore backstory, which pissed me off big time because it's so important to character development.
Percy's story wasn't in there, which meant that he didn't get his moment of glory right before Fred died. As much as I'm glad I didn't have to witness the soul destroying death of Fred, it would have been so much better if they had included that entire little scene.
Some of the character's where their fates are uncertain in the novel seemed to have their lives mapped out for them here. Which pissed me off a little. But JK must have given her approval so... not much I can say about that one other than it threw me off initially.
They missed out Colin's death. And they didn't include the flagrante curse in the vault in gringotts. I can understand how it might be really disturbing to see your characters being burnt, and I could have understood that, if the dragon hadn't then proceeded to burn a Goblin to a crisp right after it.

There's a lot more points, but otherwise I absolutely loved it. I had a good laugh at the epilogue which to be honest was done better than I expected... they didn't look too bad apart from Ginny having dodgy hair (seriously WTF?) and well... yeah. I kinda can't believe it's over... A decade of my life is over.



Overall I'd give it a solid A- because of the parts where it lost me just a little due to changes.

[Reply #157 on:]

I kinda can't believe it's over... A decade of my life is over.

Sad, isn't it? HP 1 came out when I was 12 years old. When the movie finished, I said (probably a bit too loudly) "WELL, now my childhood's over."

[Reply #158 on:]

I wonder how many people are gonna watch the movie and never read the book... so just in case:

Show spoiler

[Reply #159 on:]

I trust nothing that spells Hermione's name as Hermionie.

Also, that's a dickish thing to do, booze. Next time you're looking forward to something I'll be sure to ruin it.