Todays comedians could learn from this guy!

[#80 :]

*bump*

   

Originally posted by Teral:
Zoidberg: "As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wonderous thing happened, why not? They vaporized into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets - including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them - Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could've been happier, unless it would've also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!"

That's most definately one of my favorites!   

My other favorite Zoidy quotes (which I know other people have mentioned) are...

From "Time Keeps on Slipping"

Fry: My life is so empty.
Zoidberg: ZOOIIIIIDDBERGG!

From "Bend Her":

Zoidberg: There's a frilly cake in here you'd never forget! I know I won't! At night it haunts me with it's frosted beauty...ORDER THE CAKE, DAMMIT!

and, From "Why must I be a Crustatian in Love?"

Zoidberg: It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies!

It's hard to believe that some people think that Zoidberg is the one that got Futurama cancelled.    Everyone knows that Futurama was cancelled because the people at FOX are just evil bastards.   


Edit: A very crustacious... TOTPD!
------------------
Now a proud Bending Unit!

Y.L.B.-Not your Grandpa's Grandkid.

[#81 :]

Hey everyone it's Zoidberg, the loveable tramp!

It's a fabulous crabulous day.

One art please.

"What? I ate garbage yesterday! And it didn't cost me $300, I'm not paying. Now I bid you adieu." *wup wupwup wup*

Simply the most endearing and hilarious character on any show.

[#82 :]

*deleted* nevermind...

[#83 :]

 

Originally posted by Y_L_B:
It's hard to believe that some people think that Zoidberg is the one that got Futurama cancelled.     

People think that?   

[#84 :]

The last episode ruined Dr Zoidberg for good.

[#85 :]

ZoidburgThe music came from your heart, not from your hands.

(Fry plays holophoner and is berated by the auidience)

*Zoidburg*Your music's bad and you should feel bad!
 

Also:
One day, they'll look up, from the gutter they will, to see King Zoidburg caressing their precious box! (not sure about the exact wording)

[#86 :]

bender:I dont see any one kissin my ASS!
Zoidy: alright, alright im coming

[#87 :]

 

Originally posted by SlackJawedMoron:
ZoidburgThe music came from your heart, not from your hands.

(Fry plays holophoner and is berated by the auidience)

*Zoidburg*Your music's bad and you should feel bad!
   

Also:
One day, they'll look up, from the gutter they will, to see King Zoidburg caressing their precious box! (not sure about the exact wording)

psst dont mean to nitpick but its zoidberg, otherwise i like the one with the holophoner
   

[#88 :]

I love his lines in "Birdbot"

"Damn it Fry! He may have done wrong, but he's still your captain!"

"And eating penguin eggs..."

"Such a man. I'd follow him to hell and back I would."

"The captians table. What an honor."

Some other great ones, which I'm sure have said:

"I lost it. In a volcanooooo."

"I'm Doctor Zoidberg, homeowner!"

"Oh, I shouldn't have had seconds."

[#89 :]

Zoidberg: on earth you enjoy a tasty clam, on my planet clams enjoy a tasty you!
(silence)
maybe im not shouting loud enough

htta always gets me, but then again he's probably one of the funniest characters

[#90 :]

Did no one mention...

"Clack"

Drugged up Zoidy rules!

[#91 :]

Fry : this is Bender
Fry's old girlfriend (michelle?):aaaaaaaaahhhh
Fry:leela...
Michelle[/B:]aaaaah
Fry:the professer..
Michelle: *looks to fry* *fry nods* aaaaaahhhhhhhh
Fry:Hermes and Amy
Michelle:hi nice to meet you
Fry: and Dr. Zoidberg
Zoidberg: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH *runs away*


and yes it was worth all that

[#92 :]

zoidberg:sure butter me up with candy, it wont work sonny.....why always with the fighting?....oh god...IM COMING DOWN!

[#93 :]

In Lobstertainment:
zoidberg's acting just cracks me up.
"good ... morning... mr. vice... president."

Reminds me of a little kid.

I love zoidy.

[#94 :]

To the tune of Don't Worry,Be happy by Bobby Mcferrin:

"Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style,
Ladies vomit when I smile but does Zoidberg worry?"

"Bee happy"

[#95 :]

Zoidberg: Did you see me escaping? I was all like - Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop Whoop!

Zoidberg: (sarcastic) Ah, the hypochondriac is back? So what is it this time?
Fry: Well, my lead pipe hurts a little.
Zoidberg: That's normal. Next patient!

Zoidberg: The King crab is to die for! Look, a tiny, edible crown! (Eats crown)
Amy: What's it made of?
Zoidberg: Wood!

Zoidberg: Nice try, little boy! You may have your taxbook knowledge and your real diploma, but I have more skill in my little claw than you have in your whole carapace!

Zoidberg: Stop, stop! If you interupt the mating dance the male will become enraged and mollusc with his fiercesome gonads!

[#96 :]

Why on earth or Decapod 10 has no-one said:

'Yippee Kai-yay you'll never geuss where i've been'

(no idea how to spell that)

Also:
'Yo yo yo what up give up the rock.#strange squeal#

[#97 :]

'I learnt it in a congestion commercial;
          "Soothing, ACTION, action, action"'

[#98 :]

dwight: i heard alcohol is bad for you
fry: NO I'M........DOESN'T!

[#99 :]

zoidberg is brilliant in WTBR.

inez: make yourselves at home
Zoidberg: dont mind if i already did


Leo: buggalo can also be used as rowboat
(see zoidberg in a buggalo boat, waves to everyone else)
Zoidberg: i broke your television.

[#100 :]

'What an earth'
'steak i tells yeh'


Now if that don't crack u up well i'll be damned

[#101 :]

'Your student loans have been repaid? Well why not lending you're old pal Zoidberg a couple of bucks?' - TDS

'I hope everyone has as much fun on my birthday tommo...' (sits on his own with candle in cupcake after time skip) 'awwww' - TKOS

I love that last quote!   

[#102 :]

"Good riddance to them. Now Zoidberg is the popular one!"
-The Cryonic Woman

"Look at me, I'm Dr Zoidberg - homeowner!"
-The Deep South

"More! More! More! More!"
-A Fishful of Dollars

[#103 :]

Fry: Mermaid!
Bender: you want some lemonade?
Zoidberg: You saw a big parade?  Your student loans have been repaid? Then how about loaning your pal Zoidberg a few buck?  Mr. Millionaire.

[#104 :]

-"Whammy wozzle!" (Fry and the Slurm Factory)
That line always cracks me up whenever he says it.

-"Thank you, golf slave." (Three Hundred Big Boys.)

-"Grrrrrracias!" (When Aliens Attack)

-And just about every time he goes "whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!"

[#105 :]

"Did you see me escape? I was all like Woooooooooouuuuuuu" *spins in circles*

(I Dated A Robot)

[#106 :]

Well I have a lot of expirence
telling patients bad news
so let me break it to him gently.
FRY!!! You have no nose!!
Your nose is gone,You have no
nose on you face,Where it is
I cant say,But on Your face its
NOT!!!

[#107 :]

 

Originally posted by chunks:
dwight: i heard alcohol is bad for you
fry: NO I'M........DOESN'T!

I don't mean to offend, but first that has nothing to do with Zoidy, and second it's "I heard alcohol makes you stupid"

back on-topic,

ZOIDY: Hooray, I'm helping(Insane in the mainframe)

ZOIDY: And I'm the other guy, courage, not enough of it.(AOI2)

LEELA: What's going on, why did you kidnap us?
ZOIDY: and why did I have to take a cab(AOI2)

ZOIDY: I can't believe every ones just ad-libbing (TDHAIPT)

ZOIDY: "Ohhh Dannyboy! The pipes! The pipes are calling!"
BENDER: "Whoyboy?"
ZOIDY: "From gland to gland and down ..."
BENDER: "Dannyboy?? You are at my funeral singing about some dead stiff named Dannyboy?? You really are a massive bonehead!"
ZOIDY: "I'm expressing my sorrow!"
BENDER: "Get lost!" (APTR)

ZOIDY: "Alright, anteater number one. Who are you protecting? Is it anteater number two? Don't stick your tongue out at me! I need a name!"
ANTEATER 1: *growl*
ZOIDY: "What? How do you spell that?"
HERMES: "What are you hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!"
ZOIDY: "Hermes, quiet! I'm deducing things."(AOI1)

[#108 :]

 

Originally posted by gottalovebender:
ZOIDY: "From gland to gland and down ..."

The line is "from glen to glen...." A glen is a narrow/secluded valley.

Bender: "I forgot it's a hover bridge"
Leela: "And I forgot this isn't a hover car."
Fry: "Is any of that a problem?"
Zoidberg: "Not if you've lived a life without regrets." ... (He freaks out)

[#109 :]

*munch munch* I'm a doctor. She is dead. *munch munch - bendher

[#110 :]

It still taunts me with it's glistening frostiness. ORDER THE CAKE, DAMMIT!

[#111 :]

 

Originally posted by Teral:
 The line is "from glen to glen...." A glen is a narrow/secluded valley.

But how do you know Zoidberg got it right huh?! Either way I just coppied it from CGEF, I remembered he sang the song but forgot the words, and it's what they had. AND ZOIDBERG COULD'VE GOTTEN IT WRONG!!! But probably not.

[#112 :]

Hello, everyone, and I've got two:

Z: Captain, I don't think we're on Pluto anymore.  In fact, I think we may have left the known universe.

F: I thought you said you knew how to navigate!

Z: DON'T YELL AT ME!!! (uncontrollable sobbing)

and...

Z: Look out!  Land robuts!

[#113 :]

I love when he said "What would the robut do" too xD

[#114 :]

Z:Im Going Down!!!

[#115 :]

"At last!  Recognition!" - from Bendin' in the Wind.

[#116 :]

Zoidberg:...Now if you excuse me I have Ravioli to eat that has two footprints
(Bender steps on Ravioli maka splat sound)
Zoidberg:Three
(Zoidberg eats Ravioli from floor)
-From Birbbot of Ice-catraz
And the unforgetable:
"The Doctor Is In!"
(Zoidberg gets shot)
"The Doctor Is Out!"
-Biclops Built For 2

[#117 :]

Q-Bert: First of all Doctor Zoidberg. Do you even HAVE a medical degree?
Zoidy: I lost it...in a volcano.

---------------------------

Bender: Well I have a sore ass, but I don't see anyone kissing it!

Zoidy: All right, I'm coming.

[#118 :]

In Kif gets knocked up a notch when Amy storms out and you hear a baby sobbing noise as the camera zooms to ziodberg... classic!

[#119 :]

Zoidberg: bllreee!!! Professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg fixes it... *squirts glue everywhere* bllrrr!!!