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Author Topic: Venus crawls out from under her rock  (Read 16889 times)
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Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #240 on: 08-17-2005 12:00 »

Wonderful chapter Venus! The scenes with Munda and Morris are outstanding - they make the characters seem so real-life. I really could feel what they both were going through   cry  I am looking forward to putting this fic in my hardcopy collection  big grin

Set ye Zapp in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten and die.

II Yosemite 11:15
I

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #241 on: 08-17-2005 12:11 »

Now, don´t pay to much attention to me, but... it felt sort of... blunt, at times.

Still good though, so no crawling in under rocks for you.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #242 on: 08-17-2005 13:41 »

That was great Venus. (A bit too emotional maybe but still great)

 
Quote
Originally posted by *Venus*:
*“Ohh right, I forgot, reason number forty-seven humans are inferior to robots: mammals are made of flammable materials.” AND “And I’ll steal it from ‘er again, thus the cycle of thievery continues!”*

LOL!  laff  Those lines were really great!

Keep it up Venus
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #243 on: 08-17-2005 15:22 »

Hey! I don't pay you guys to be vague! You can't just tell me parts were blunt, or too emotional or whatever without telling me which parts! Otherwise i'll just end up taking out the solid bits and leaving in all the questionable stuff!

I'm not surprised i overdid bits though. I am soo a misery chick.

@Spacedal: The birth scene is so ...uh...graphic for 3 reasons.

1. To illustrate that Leela's life has sucked pretty much from day 1. Had she been a twin the other baby would have spent the whole pregnancy just kicking her in the head.

2. To make the emotional impact on Munda greater since almost having lost Leela to death before she kinda knows how much it would hurt to have to go through it all again thus making the decision to pull Leela's life support even harder. The whole me being a misery chick thing kinda comes into play here too.

3. I want every part of this story, even the small details to be able to fit seamlessly into canon. And in Leela's Homeworld we see that when Morris and Munda see and get to hold Leela for the first time they were standing in the middle of the living room. Which really doesn't make sense when you think about it. Usually the parent first holds their baby immediately after birth, while they're still lying down and the baby is naked and wet. In Luck of The Fryrish Fry was handed to his mother while he still had his umbilical cord attached. But Munda was on her feet and Leela was in a diaper and blanket and both parents were talking like this was their first real glimpse of their daugther. So obviously there was some kind of gap between the birth and their actually getting to see her. If Leela had been healthy and fine she would have been handed to Munda right off, which she evidently wasn't, so i came up with the best reason i could to account for that gap. 
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #244 on: 08-17-2005 16:31 »

Hey, misery is my middle name. Nothing more fun then torturing people in a story. All good reasons. All make sense. No I had never noticed the thing about Leela's Homeworld before. It just never occured to me. Keep up the good work. And I'm glad I wasn't vague on you.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #245 on: 08-19-2005 17:17 »

Aawww my thread died. Help me fix this chapter! Earn your invisable beta dollars this week!
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #246 on: 08-19-2005 18:38 »
« Last Edit on: 08-19-2005 18:38 »

Well Venus, I do like beta-dollars... why else would I be working for Layla? Sounds like a good deal...   I’ll give you my two-cents for a dollar.   big grin

Firstly, I agree that Bender’s enunciation is a bit over-emphasized.  As I said during the Zoidberg discussion, “it’s best to forgo the accent and let the reader’s imagination put the inflection where they think it should go.”

I find the description of Leela’s pictures on the Turanga’s wall as a ‘wall museum’ a bit odd.  Though... I can’t quite place why.  Additionally, I cannot think of anything better; it’s not exactly a shrine, nor is it a memorial or cenotaph seeing as Leela’s alive.  It really depends on what specific reasons you project onto Morris and Munda for maintaining such a collection.

As for going overboard... well, there was a disclaimer at the beginning.  We expect this level of drama.  What I think the problem may be is that recently, this has been is quite a ways for a story to go with minimal action.  Luckily, this section seemed to imply some changes and plot progression in the upcoming parts.  If that is truly the case, then things are pretty much fine the way they are.  Just be weary of letting your plot level off into a formula.  This last piece moved very slowly, and that’s allowed, as long as something offsets that soon.  Hills and valleys, yin and yang, and all that jazz.  In that vein, it's a bit hard to say whether this piece is overboard without seeing what's next.  I will say that some of Leela’s history seemed a bit unnecessary and even rehashed for people who know the show well.  You might consider trimming that section a bit.

Petty complaints aside, the style and effort put into every section hasn’t wavered one bit. Keep up the excellent work, I hope to see another update soon.  If I was too vague here, feel free to ask other questions via whatever media you deem acceptable.

NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #247 on: 08-19-2005 18:45 »
« Last Edit on: 08-19-2005 18:45 »

What??? We're supposed to get paid for reading this??? Did I miss something??

No really Venus, the birth scene was ok. I don't know what the others are talking about but the only that I can think of about your last update was maybe the length of Munda emotional state. You maybe gave to much detail about her sadness and I think that peoples are expecting to see action and not seeing the characters crying all the time.

I for myself like your story so far Venus. I think that this is your vision of what happened during those 2 weeks and I’m with you all the way. I won't tell you to change anything about it. It is a sad story after all. We all know the ending but I still think that people are tired to see everyone so sad. Being a Father, I can understand how Leela's parents are feeling. But not everyone understand that.

Anyway, Venus, I find you fic very good so far.

Keep up the good stuff.

Bye for now.


edit: Damn, Jberges beat me to it.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #248 on: 08-19-2005 18:57 »

@JBERGES which parts speciffically do you think i should trim?
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #249 on: 08-20-2005 01:26 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by JBERGES:
I find the description of Leela’s pictures on the Turanga’s wall as a ‘wall museum’ a bit odd.  Though... I can’t quite place why.  Additionally, I cannot think of anything better; it’s not exactly a shrine, nor is it a memorial or cenotaph seeing as Leela’s alive.

"Gallery" maybe?
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #250 on: 08-20-2005 20:52 »
« Last Edit on: 08-20-2005 20:52 »

Thunder:  Yeah, that's better than any idea I've had. It's like a vicarious tangible personal highlight reel or something... but that's the worst combination of words ever. 

Venus: On multiple rereads, I'm thinking more like the progression through Leela's life is acceptable, seeing as you're using it as a device to build onto a single idea in Munda's mind. I may have jumped to a conclusion there.  If you'd actually like to trim something, I'd still consider cutting out a few of Munda's hypothetical questions you've peppered said history with, but that's just a judgment call and not too important.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #251 on: 08-21-2005 00:05 »
« Last Edit on: 08-21-2005 00:05 »

I don't know what, if anything i want to change. I just want the story to be good. I don't want to have anything over or under done.

If there's one thing i've learned from paging through the fanfics on the TLZ message board is that even the most horrid fics will get great reviews, so basically i've made myself all paranoid that even if i were to slip into sucksville no one would have the heart to tell me.
fryismyhero

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #252 on: 08-21-2005 05:43 »

I've been lurking around you thread for a while Venus and you definitely are NOT headed for sucksville!  This is a very well written piece, very emotional (that last update just about broke my heart  frown )

Oh hi, by the way  smile

I've been lurking around TLZ a bit too (I'm a bit of an overexcited newbie to the world of Fan Fiction) and I noticed the same.  Dunno why they have the rating thingy, it doesn't seem to be terribly accurate and just about anyone can rate fics, including the authors which I reckon defeats the purpose really.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #253 on: 08-21-2005 08:51 »

I'm not talking about the actual TLZ website itself, i meant their message board. There are some young teenage girls posting their stories a chapter at a time like i am and they get rave reviews (from the other young teenagers) even though most of those stories are horrible. Once they go and actually post the story to the site itself it rates very lowly, but if you read the reviews in their story threads you'd think they were writing the best story ever.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #254 on: 08-21-2005 11:04 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
I'm not talking about the actual TLZ website itself, i meant their message board. There are some young teenage girls posting their stories a chapter at a time like i am and they get rave reviews (from the other young teenagers) even though most of those stories are horrible. Once they go and actually post the story to the site itself it rates very lowly, but if you read the reviews in their story threads you'd think they were writing the best story ever.

Oh, yeah.  I have seen the same thing in every other fandom. It's like a tradition...one board I was on, we called them the "Nancy Drewbies" in private (though that's kind of an insult to the real Nancy Drew, who I understand was quite plucky and not at all like the hyperactive preteens on stimulants of which we speak).  roll eyes

Okay, kiddo, I'm working on a detailed analysis of the last section...but, because it's me, it'll take a little bit to complete.  I'll be as specific as possible (and since I have four planets in Virgo, that's pretty specific.  Yeah, I'd definitely be a Bureaucrat in the Futuramaverse).  I believe it's mostly solid and just a little sanding is needed.

Shiny
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #255 on: 08-21-2005 16:23 »
« Last Edit on: 08-21-2005 16:23 »

*cowers* Be gentle!


EDIT: Hey wait, kiddo???? I'm older than you!

EDIT^2: Aren't i older than you? I could have sworn you said something at some point about taking classes but now i can't find that post to verify. You are younger than 21 right?
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #256 on: 08-21-2005 16:50 »

Yeah I don't like the TLZ boards. And it annoys the hell out of me how fake the posters are there. Like you said, I've seen a lot of fan fics posted and I hardly see any actual reviews other than "OMG! That was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo awesome!"  It's sickening.
fryismyhero

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #257 on: 08-21-2005 23:20 »

Aah I see what you're getting at now.  Didn't realise TLZ had a message board!  (the joys of being a newbie)

I wouldn't worry about that happening too much, you seem to be getting some very honest and constructive comments.   smile
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #258 on: 08-22-2005 00:13 »
« Last Edit on: 08-22-2005 00:13 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:
hyperactive preteens on stimulants

I shall now set out to prove that we are not all like that. :P

Meh...I hate the TLZ boards too. I miss Treehouse of the Future, dammit!

About the chapter--it was quite good, but I agree that the slang got annoying. Also, you forgot a few question marks. Otherwise, very good.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #259 on: 08-22-2005 00:46 »
« Last Edit on: 08-22-2005 00:46 »

Okay,  I've been trying to post this all day from this laptop that has been loaned to me, with no success.  I'm going to try posting something short and then editing in the rest.  Here goes.

Edit: Blerg!  I hate my life... it's not working.  Apparently, I can now get online anytime I want, but I can only post really short things.

I'll try again tomorrow.  Sorry, Venus, you'll have to wait some more....

Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #260 on: 08-22-2005 07:53 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by JBERGES:
Venus: On multiple rereads, I'm thinking more like the progression through Leela's life is acceptable, seeing as you're using it as a device to build onto a single idea in Munda's mind. I may have jumped to a conclusion there.  If you'd actually like to trim something, I'd still consider cutting out a few of Munda's hypothetical questions you've peppered said history with, but that's just a judgment call and not too important.

I'm inclined to agree with Bergey here. You're just going through Leela's life from a mother's perspective, and I think that being overly analytical about every (more or less) major event in her daughter's life is just Munda's way of coming to a nearly impossible-to-make decision. You captured that aspect well, so it's okay by me.

My only real complaint is your use of Bender's slang. Like that whole 'v' vs. 'w' thing with Zoidberg, it definitely better to leave the character's accents to the reader's imagination. Otherwise, it gets too distracting.

So, all-in-all, this was definitely a solid update. A bit lacking in the action department, but the introspective writing was top-notch. Me likey.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #261 on: 08-22-2005 22:44 »
« Last Edit on: 08-22-2005 22:44 »

Slightly edited the Fry/Bender scene so hopefully it's more in character now.

So is slang a no-no all of the time or is the problem i'm just using too much of it?

EDIT: a couple people have mentioned that the last few chapters were lacking in action. Uh..what kind of 'action' are you guys expecting? *nervous*
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #262 on: 08-22-2005 22:57 »
« Last Edit on: 08-22-2005 22:57 »

There were no explosions and car chases dammit!

No seriously, you're freaking out like Gorky does in our thread. She's always afraid that she'll upset me and that won't happen. You need to relax. If no one liked your story then no one would have posted and you wouldn't have 7 pages of stuff. Relax dammit!  tongue

I think that there's just a lot of explination and not so much interaction. (Did that make sense?)

Now for your re-write for the Fry/Bender scene, I really hate Bender always saying , 'er constantly. But that's just me. Carry on.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #263 on: 08-22-2005 23:05 »

I didn't rewrite any of the slang yet cause i'm still not sure what i'm going to do with it, i just rewrote the interaction that Dr T said wasn't quite in character for Fry.

Yeah i get what you mean about more introspection then interaction.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #264 on: 08-23-2005 02:27 »

Okay.  Apparently the reason I can't post something long isn't the fault of this laptop; my roommate says the posting is being blocked from PEEL's end.  I don't know if there is a length limit or something (but we tried cutting it into sections and it still didn't work); I'm going to inquire & stuff; but I give up.  I'm just gonna email the comments to you, Venus.  I guess the rest of you are spared my pontificating...

Oh, but one thing...


 
Quote
EDIT: Hey wait, kiddo???? I'm older than you!

EDIT^2: Aren't i older than you? I could have sworn you said something at some point about taking classes but now i can't find that post to verify. You are younger than 21 right?

  laff Ahh...not quite  But thanks for saying so.  (Now, if you were talking mentally and emotionally, then the answer is yes.  Is that what you meant?) 

  wink
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #265 on: 08-23-2005 07:06 »

I demand to know how old you are! I DEMAND!!

Quotes taken from Shiny's email:
 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:

Lowering his hand to her face he tenderly began
caressing her cheek.


BZZZT! Stalker alert!  That sentence bothered me a little -
not what he did, but the wording.  I think "tenderly" and
"caressing" are the culprits, used together they have more
than a little sexual connotation to me...your mileage may
vary, of course, but you probably want to err on the side
of caution in this case. 
 


Yikes! Ya'll agree? Did i stalkerfy Fry?


 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:
 
It was clear that she had given up.

This seems a little off to me (though characterization is a
subjective matter, so take all this with a grain of salt).
Leela in the show doesn't appear to have given up,
she seems to have learned to fight back instead.
Which can be just as distancing and hard on the heart, but
is more active.  I think it would fit cannon better if
Munda noticed Leela's expression getting harder, more
suspicious, more defensive - Leela becoming a warrior in
response to the daily battles she faced.

I didn't really mean for it to come off like teenage Leela had lost the will to live or whatever, what she's actually 'given up' is the hope that she might someday belong to someone. She realizes that once your age hits the double digits you can pretty much count on being an orphan for life. She's also come to realize that nothing she can ever do will get her peers to like her so she's given up trying. She still fights back when provoked, i'm not trying to indicate that she's in any way broken, but her hopes for any kind of acceptance from anyone died pretty hard in her teenage years. It would have been nice to be able to be a little clearer on that in that chapter, but as kind of an outsider looking in Munda doesn't know why Leela looks the way she does.

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:

 I think "living hell" is a bit strong...living
purgatory, constant struggle, hard row to hoe - that seems
more like what we've seen of Leela's childhood.

I used 'living hell' to descibe it because the thought of being as isolated as Leela was, completely alone, hated by everyone, harrased with no means of escape, for 18 years, plus the possibilty that my adulthood would just be more of the same scares the living shit out of me. I can't think of any worse way to live. Humans by nature are herd animals. We don't do so well when forced from the herd. It's a pretty big deal, people have commited suicide for less.


Re-edited the last chapter again, toned down the slang a bit.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #266 on: 08-23-2005 23:12 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
I demand to know how old you are! I DEMAND!!

I cannot divulge that information. I have to preserve my air of mystery.  (Besides, I don't wanna hear the Geritol and Depends jokes.  Now excuse me, I have to go tell some kids to stay off of my lawn... )

Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #267 on: 08-24-2005 02:16 »

Shiny's old? Aww my space time continuum just warped.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #268 on: 08-24-2005 08:19 »

Don't worry - I may be forced to age, but I still refuse to grow uptongue
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #269 on: 08-24-2005 08:45 »
« Last Edit on: 08-24-2005 08:45 »

Venus had these words of wisdom...

I used 'living hell' to descibe it because the thought of being as isolated as Leela was, completely alone, hated by everyone, harrased with no means of escape, for 18 years, plus the possibilty that my adulthood would just be more of the same scares the living shit out of me. I can't think of any worse way to live. Humans by nature are herd animals. We don't do so well when forced from the herd. It's a pretty big deal, people have commited suicide for less.
---------

Damned!  You just describe my view of Leela perfectly!  She had so much rejection in her life that even though she fights back, she has an inate need to be accepted, yet when she is accepted, her defenses jump in.  That is one reason that she dates jerks:  Subconsciously she knows how it's going to end, so there is a sick comfort to being rejected.  She also knows in her heart that Fry, Amy, Bender and the Professor have accepted her as she is - these people have become the family that she never had.  In my estimation, one reason that she doesn't want to date Fry seriously is because with her history of failure in affairs of the heart, she knows that the relationship would fail and she may end up losing the only true friends that she has ever had.

As strong as Leela is, I don't think that she could handle not having the Planet Express gang in her life.

A little synopsis of the characters:

Fry:  Out of place arrested-development guy; has a big heart; was never accepted by his family and had few friends growing up.  He started out just being Leela's friend, but her strenghts are the reason that he developed romantic feeling for her.  She is everything that he isn't - self-assured, smart, witty, able to fight her way out of any situation.

Amy:  Rich kid who could never please her parents.  Became very sexually promiscuous in college to be accepted; likes the PlanEx crew because they don't see a wealthy  kid but a competent engineer.

The Professor:  Very old, wise and a bit senile - he too was a nerd growing up; now that he has amassed a fortune, he could be hanging with 'the elite', yet he prefers to run a small business and invent in his spare time.  He has never given Leela a second glance about being a cyclops (and I think that she secretly admires and respects the Professor for this) - he even offered her a job and made her captain of his ship upon first meeting her - events that she had never encountered before in her life.

Bender:  Our resident degenerate - Fry's friend - accepts Leela because of a deep respect for her being a tough broad.  Bender knows that any affront to Leela will be dealt with quickly and harshly (she has cresent-kicked Bender, hit him hard enough to knock his eyes out, etc).  Even though he grumbles, he follows her orders due to his deep respect for her.  After having to endure her emotions via the 'Emotion Chip', Bender has become 'One-Eye's' strongest and fiercest allies - something that Leela deeply appreciated.

And to Shiny and the age thing - I am probably the OLDEST person on this board - I may not be as old and senile as The Professor (yet), but I was one of the ORIGINAL Trekkies.

Getting older does not exempt you from being able to enjoy great science fiction and being a sci-fi geek!  (No, I don't live in my parents basement!)
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #270 on: 08-24-2005 12:03 »
« Last Edit on: 08-24-2005 12:03 »

Ralph Snart is one of the original Trekkies… Wow!!!  eek

And I thought I was old...  I’m a Dad! I must be old no?

Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #271 on: 08-24-2005 22:12 »

I know some original Trekkies....
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #272 on: 08-24-2005 22:21 »

I've solved the mystery! Shiny is 34 and has 4 kids, all girls, all named Jim Bob. It's all so clear to me now! Balance to the universe has been restored!
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #273 on: 08-25-2005 00:05 »

Close! They're named Jimmy Bob, Bobby Jim, JimBob James, and Bobbalina Jaime.  Named after my husband Bubba-Jimbo, of course.

I do feel less decrepit knowing I'm not the oldest PEELer, though. 

And on a more serious note - when you put it that way, I guess "living hell" isn't too strong a term. Especially since this is Munda's POV, and she no doubt feels the pain she sees in Leela's eye multiplied by ten or so. 
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #274 on: 08-26-2005 09:52 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:

I do feel less decrepit knowing I'm not the oldest PEELer, though. 

Not by a long shot.  (Professor's old voice) I remember attending a Trekcon in Atlanta in 1976 at the Peachtree Plaza getting an autograph from Jimmy Doohan and George Takai.  I also remember watching the space shuttle Enterprise taking off on a 747 and flying (coasting?) back to Earth.

I doubt if there are too many PEELers that can remeber THAT!
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #275 on: 08-26-2005 11:35 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Ralph Snart:
 I also remember watching the space shuttle Enterprise taking off on a 747 and flying (coasting?) back to Earth.

I doubt if there are too many PEELers that can remeber THAT!


Hah! Got ya beat Ralph! I was a wee nipper but I remember watching Alan Shepard's Mercury launch!! So there!

Coot the eldest
  tongue

Set ye Zapp in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten and die.

II Yosemite 11:15
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #276 on: 08-26-2005 12:25 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Ol'coot:
 
Hah! Got ya beat Ralph! I was a wee nipper but I remember watching Alan Shepard's Mercury launch!! So there!

Coot the eldest
   tongue


Yeah, ya got me beat by just a few years (I'm a VERY early 1960's model) - I still can remember begging my parents to let me stay up late to watch 'Star Trek' during its initial network run...

Now that the 'Trek' francise has ended with a merciful death (more like a mercy killing - Enterprise sucked big time), I have found Futurama.  Futurama was a great series (just a handful of not-too-good eps) and it lives through the great (and some not-so-great) fanfics. 

Unfortunately, my hard drive croaked 2 days ago - and took almost everything that I had d/l'ed over the past year (it's probably now in computer-hell, with the Hard Drive Devil) - it actually was smoking when I took it out of the case!  Well, the original 80 gig HD is now replaced with a 120 gig HD - more space to put Futurama stories, framegrabs and artwork!

To quote Bender:  'I'm back, baby!'

btyrie

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #277 on: 08-26-2005 14:23 »

May I make a suggestion? Well two actually.

One: (Common sense) Make multiple back up copies of all your data frequently, you can never have too many back up copies. The hard drive on my laptop was playing up resently and had to be replaced... twice! Luckily nothing was lost because I had about 3 or 4 back up copies, which is just as well because two of them didn't work.

Two: If you have enough mony buy an exteranl hard-drive, and use that to back everything up onto it as well as doing it onto the disks, you can pick up a 160GB external hard drive for as little as £80 nowadays, actually it's probably less now.

Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #278 on: 09-08-2005 04:10 »
« Last Edit on: 09-08-2005 04:10 »

I miss Layla, JBERGES, and Shiny. I wish they would come back. Or to be more accurate, i wish their writing would come back. Not that i have any right to complain, considering it's been almost a month since my last update.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Taco Bellevue Hospital, room 413
9:23 am
Day 9


Awakening from his midmorning nap Fry stretched stiffly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He was still exhausted, he always was, but he pushed himself out of his slouch and cheerfully greeted Leela.

“Hi Leela! I’m just gonna keep talking, even if you can’t hear me. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah…aww come on Leela. I’m trying to be annoying here, the least you could do is wake up and get annoyed. No? Fine, how ‘bout I go back to bein’ romantic? You’re a girl, so that means you like hearing about stuff like that right?”

He ran his fingertips lightly across her palm.

“How about, when you wake up, I take you dancing in a Venusian garden? Then what if we shared a midnight sleigh ride across the ice fields of Hyperion?”

He was about to continue when the door opened and Amy came in holding a takeout bag in one hand and a pair of coffees in the other.

“I went to that Deli place that opened up down the street. They’re supposed to have these really awesome breakfast sandwich things. So do you want the sausage wrap or the bacon?”

Fry shrugged. “Whichever.”

After having been kicked from Leela’s room Fry had made a deal with Amy that he would eat whatever she brought up to the room without argument as long as he was never kicked out again. She had readily agreed.

She handed him the bacon wrap and a plain coffee before pulling up another chair and starting in on her cinnamon latte.

“I see Leela’s points went down again. When did that happen?”

Fry jerked. “She what?!” He whirled around to check her reading. Once again it was at a 4. Fry sighed. “Man Leela, you gotta stop doing that.” He whispered, then raising his voice to normal level he glanced at Amy. “It musta happened while I was sleeping.”

“You actually slept? I’m impressed.”

“Only for like an hour.”

She shrugged. “Better than nothing.”

They ate in companionable silence for a while until the room was suddenly filled with the first few strings of ‘Candyshop’ as Amy’s phone went off. Fry gave her a cringed look.

“What? I like that song!”

Deciding not to comment Fry pulled the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. He jerked to attention when he saw who it was.

“Mr. Leela’s dad! Hi! D-do you wanna see Leela some more?”

“We’ve made our decision.” Morris stated softly.

“Oh! Okay, um wh-what is it?”

Morris looked away, breaking eye contact. “We’ve decided to let her go.”

Fry and Amy gasped. “What?! You...you can’t be serious?” Fry pleaded.

“It’s what she would want.” Morris responded sadly.

“You don’t know that! You...she...I know she’s not ready yet.”

“Fry, please don’t make this harder.”

“She just needs more time! You can‘t do this!” Fry insisted angry tears welling up.

Amy headed towards the door. “I’ll go tell the doctor.” She said quietly.

Fry whirled around. “Amy! No! Wait...” But she was already gone.

Panicked, Fry ran his hand roughly through his hair.  “Oh man, oh man…”

“Fry?” The subdued sound of Morris’ voice grabbed his attention and he turned back to the phone. “Will you stay with her when they do it?” He begged pleadingly. “Will you hold her hand so she knows she’s not alone?”

“Oooh man. This can’t be happening.”

“Fry please?”

Fry slumped in his chair, his world shattering around him as what was happening sank in.

“Yeah,” he promised faintly. “I’ll stay with her. I won’t let her be alone.”

Morris nodded slightly. “Will you call us after?”

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”  Fry asked desperately. “Can’t we give her just a few more days?”

“The longer we wait the harder it will be. Let’s just get this done.”

What seemed like an instant but was actually a half hour later Fry found himself surrounded by the rest of the crew, Dr. Marsters, and a few nurses. He had had to move to Leela’s opposite side so that the doctor could access her life support equipment. He squeezed Leela’s hand as he listened numbly to Dr. Marsters as he explained what was about to happen.

“And after we remove her respirator her heart will probably keep beating for roughly a minute or so, but then it will slow down, and stop, and then we’ll call time of death.”

Fry’s face paled. “Wa-wait, hold on, you mean…she’s gonna suffocate to death?”

The doctor hesitated before answering. “Essentially.”

Fry opened his mouth to object but the doctor continued. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. It will be very peaceful, she won’t feel anything.”

“But how do you know she won’t feel it?! What if she’s completely aware of everything that’s going on, just she can’t move or anything to let us know?”

“If she were aware and simply couldn’t communicate that to us, the knowledge that we are about to pull her respirator would cause her to become alarmed. And that would cause her brain to release a stress hormone into her bloodstream, which we would be able to pick up. But according to her current readings she is completely relaxed. I assure you, she is unaware.”

Fry bit his lip. “This isn’t right. It’s like holding a pillow over her face or something.”

“No it isn’t,” The doctor assured gently. “We’re just letting nature take its course. It’s for the best.”

Resigned, Fry moved from his chair to the edge of Leela’s bed. Gazing into her still face he was struck by a sudden impulse. He turned so that he was sitting cross-legged beside her and before anyone could react he pulled her completely into his lap.

“Sweet kitten o’ Brittan!” Hermes exclaimed, “Fry mon, what do you think you’re doing?”

“If Leela’s gonna die now,” Fry stated as he gently positioned Leela’s head on his shoulder.  “I’m gonna make damn sure she dies in the arms of someone who loves her. She deserves that much at least.”

The startled nurses looked to Dr. Marsters. He shrugged. “It’s not like he’s going to hurt her.”

The doctor powered down the machine after which the nurses removed the tubing from Leela’s throat. This allowed Fry to position her a little more comfortably on his shoulder. He held her tight and buried his face in her hair.

True to the doctor’s word, her heart kept beating, but she didn’t breathe. The crew waited silently, some in tears, some fidgeting, some simply staring at the floor, for it to be over. With his head buried no one could see Fry’s tears, but his quivering shoulders gave him away.

“I’m so sorry Leela,” He whispered quietly so only she could hear. “I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I tried, you gotta believe I tried.”

Her heart rate began to slow. The nurses readied their paperwork, waiting for when the death certificate would be signed.

Which meant everyone was surprised when Leela’s body gave a light shudder and she shallowly inhaled. Everyone froze and stared intently, to see if she would do it again.

For a moment there was nothing.

“Come on, Leela.” Fry whispered desperately to her. “Please oh please oh please oh please.”

She took another breath. After a pause she took another. And after a shorter pause, another. Her heart rate began to even out.

“Well, I’ll be.” Dr. Marsters said as his astonishment turned into a wry smile, “I guess she wasn’t ready to go yet.”

Around him the crew shrieked and celebrated, Bender even passed out beers from his personal stash. Fry ignored them all though. For all he cared he and Leela were the only ones in the room. Giggling like a maniac he pressed grateful kisses into her hairline.

Dr. Marsters gave the crew a few moments for their celebration to die down, then he turned to Fry. “You should probably put her down now.”

Fry didn’t even remove his gaze from Leela’s face when he responded. “Do I have to this second? Can’t I have a coupla minutes alone with her first?”

The doctor nodded. “I see no harm in that.” He ushered everyone towards the door. When the room was clear and they were alone Fry smiled down at her. Gently, making sure he didn’t jostle her too much, he shrugged out of his jacket. “Here,” He said as he draped it across her shoulders. “Take my jacket. You look a little cold.” After he had her wrapped up securely he ran a tender hand through her hair. 

“I am so proud of you.” He told her sincerely. “They all thought you were gonna give up, but you showed them. You’re stronger than all of this. I know you’ll be okay.” He stared at her intently. “If you really wanna show them, you can. All you hafta do is wake up.”

He waited hopefully for a moment. After all he’d had one miracle today, maybe it was the beginning of a streak. Or maybe not. She didn’t stir. Fry hugged her anyway. “I guess I should stop griping at you and just be happy you’re still breathing. That probably took a lot outta you, you’re probably exhausted. You don’t hafta wake up now. You deserve a rest.”

He gently maneuvered himself out from under her and carefully laid her back down. He re-wrapped his jacket around her and pulled her blanket up to make sure she kept warm. Then, on another sudden impulse he bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“You’re gonna get through this. I know it.”


Residence of Turanga Morris & Munda
10:52 am
Day 9


The silence in the Turanga household was stifling. Not a word had been spoken since Morris’ earlier call to Fry. What more was there to be said? Morris was a ball of nervous energy. He had spent pretty much the whole wait pacing back and forth while Munda sat still as a statue on the couch. She was staring at the wall with a glassy look that indicated that she was a million miles away. Morris only wished he could put his mind elsewhere. He was hyper-aware of every second that passed wondering whether it, or the next one, had been his daughter’s last.

When the phone finally did ring they both jumped. Other than that initial reaction neither could bring themselves to answer it. They knew perfectly well who it was and what the message would be. It was over. It had been done. But stalling wouldn’t change anything, so Morris gathered himself together and trudged over to the phone’s large video screen. Before he switched it on he turned to look at Munda, to see if she was ready. Her face was drawn and pale, but she was looking at him rather than through him indicating that she was aware.

Fry’s face filled the screen as Morris finally answered the phone.

“They did it.” Fry announced coldly, not even bothering to hide his anger.

Morris nodded softly. “Was it quick?”

“Not really.”

“Was it peaceful at least?” He asked, stricken.

“If you call suffocating peaceful.”

 Morris looked like he might be sick. Behind him Munda dissolved into broken sobs.

“She’s alive though.” Fry stated after a pause.

Munda gasped and Morris jerked his head up, believing for a second that he had misheard.

“She’s what?”

“She’s alive. No thanks to you guys.” Fry growled bitterly.

Morris ignored the hostility, too focused on what Fry was trying to tell him.
“How? What happened?”

“She started breathing on her own at like the last possible second.”

“So, does that improve her chances? Could she possibly wake up?” Morris asked hopefully.

“Her doctor still thinks she’ll be a vegetable forever. He also thought she’d die when they pulled her support. But he was wrong about that so I bet he’s wrong about this too.”

“So what happens now?”

“I keep sitting with her. So she knows at least someone hasn’t given up on her.” Fry answered curtly.

“We did not gi-”

“Yeah I bet.” Fry interrupted gruffly. “Suffocating to death is exactly what she would have wanted, right?” He shook his head in disgust. “I gotta go. Leela needs me.”

The screen went black before the thunderstruck Morris could respond. He turned to face Munda, who was equally stunned.

“I get the feeling he’s not too fond of us anymore.” He understated.

“He’s right.” Munda whispered, her face ashen. “We pulled her life-support and she wasn’t ready to die.” Her eye widened. “My God… I could have killed her…Needlessly.”

Morris knelt down somewhat so he was at eye level with her. “We made that decision together.”

“But I had final say. You said you would agree with whatever I decided.” Her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible, and her expression seemed dazed, as if she were slowly coming to some horrible conclusion that she just couldn‘t bear to face.

“Sweetheart…” He took her by the shoulders.

“I made the wrong decision.”

We did the best we could.”

“She needed me to be right. Her life depended on it. And I made the wrong decision.” She looked as if she were about to pass out. “I-I can’t deal with this right now… I’m gonna go lie down for a while.” she stood up, pulling away from her husbands comforting arms and headed for the stairs.

Morris ran a hand through his hair. He had never seen that look on Munda’s face before. And it scared him.
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #279 on: 09-08-2005 04:45 »

To: Venus
From: Ralph

Message:  Bravo!  Well done!  Well worth the wait.
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