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Author Topic: Uh oh, newbie fanfic!  (Read 14494 times)
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JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #120 on: 10-28-2004 01:11 »
« Last Edit on: 10-28-2004 01:11 »

Bah.  I was waiting to reply to your last part until I figured out what your second tip of the hat was (I only caught the “lambaste” one), and you go and post a new section before I can decipher it. Now I feel dumb.

Nevertheless, onward to a review:

Not much to say other than you continue to entertain me with your seemingly effortless word weaving.  To be more specific:

     
Quote
It was one thing to decide to test the brain thingy on himself, quite another to actually do it. 
  I like how you stay omnipotent, yet infuse a bit of whoever you’re talking about into the exposition.

     
Quote
If it had seemed ominous in the morning light, it was downright frightening in the darkness.

Liked that line.

     
Quote
Tommorow, maybe Leela would be hugging him, and telling him how great it was that he saved her from this, or maybe she’d just smile at him, in that special way she had. Leela would show him the smile that left him breathless.
Well, doesn’t that just implode the cute-ometer...  I needed a new one anyway; this damn thing only went up to 20 mega-kittens.

And, because I have to try to give some advice:
     
Quote
“Sorry, wrong anwer.” There had to something… eureka! Fry found it, the one thing Bender could not refuse, except temptation.
Wasn’t the waffles and ice cream ploy just another form of temptation anyway?

Oh, and to practice being a beta, ‘tomorrow’ and ‘answer’ are spelt wrong in the above quotes.  Looking forward to another update, Layla.  Great job.

TOTP Shakin' it like a Polaroid... camera
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #121 on: 10-28-2004 01:45 »

Yay shippy! green skittles for everyone!

And pfft to JBERGES lame-ass cute-ometer. Mine goes up to 42 mega kittens.
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #122 on: 10-28-2004 07:26 »

AGH! I KNEW you were gonna end it that way! Well, not that way exactly, but that you would end it in ulta-super-cliffhanger mode!! It pains me to be on the receiving ends of those... *dramatic sob*. But I must agree, my cute-o-meter is exploding and spewing kittens everywhere.
Kloudes

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #123 on: 10-28-2004 12:12 »

If I haven't already declared my love for you, consider it done.  I'll have to agree about the omnipotent, yet character based narration.  Makes it very personal.

*refuses to make cute-ometer joke*
Benderfan 1230

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #124 on: 10-28-2004 12:38 »

Gaah! Just when I'm on the edge of my seat a cliffie gets thrown in my face! I should have known....
Great work though big grin
becky

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #125 on: 10-28-2004 12:41 »

I seriously think this is the best chapter you've ever written! The way you write it makes it very clear in my mind, and the conversation with the MMCD was brilliant and funny! It was also very tense and exciting, which is probably the reason why I liked this chapter so much. I'm really looking forward to the next part! I hope it'll be soon, but no pressure, no pressure  wink

Mmmm... Skittles...
Unknown

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #126 on: 10-28-2004 20:33 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
Yay shippy! green skittles for everyone!

And pfft to JBERGES lame-ass cute-ometer. Mine goes up to 42 mega kittens.

Damn, mine only goes to 11...
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #127 on: 10-28-2004 22:36 »

(Holds up umbrella to guard against the multitude of flying kittens.)

Best one ever, eh? well, I guess that means I should stop writing this here.  wink (Blinks innocently)

Nah, I'm not that cruel, but I am cruel enough to make you wait till tommorow for the next update. Sorry, but I want to do this part right, and it's a fairly complicated scene. (Course, that means it'll probably be a long update, soo...)

Yay! Skittles and kittens! It's been a good day. For anyone wondering, and especially JBERGES:
Yep, lambaste was one tribute, and the other: (I'm not surprised you didn't find it, it was so subtle so as to be invisible.)
The other was a really awful pun, as tribute to your mastery on puns. (Our prices are irrational indeed! Still makes me giggle.)
It was: Bender stared stubbornly ahead, refusing to bend for as long as he could.

Sorry. Awful, I know! Also, the weird temptation line was my tribute to Oscar Wilde ("I can resist anything except temptation" ) I'll probably chop it when I rewrite. It's basically just proof that a lot of my writing is pure whimsy, which is why I can update so much! You're gonna rock as a beta JBERGES!

Thank you all, and I'll see you tomorrow!
Oh, and for the mutant lover among you: Good news! We'll be seeing a lot more of them in the future! (Newly discovered plot twist)
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #128 on: 10-28-2004 23:39 »

SEE! I KNEW IT, THE PLOT TWISTING! IT FITS YOU PERFECTLY!!

So. At first this kind of made me sad, because DAMN, I check and what do I see?! A post from you that seems kind of long at first glance?! SCAH-ORE! But then... the tomorrow bit. Oh, yes. *muffled sob*. But then... the long update part!! OK, my patience has been renewed *folds hands and sits like a schoolgirl waiting for 3:30*.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #129 on: 10-29-2004 21:30 »

Well, here it is! A nice long update.

Say what now: Well, twist might be not be the right word exactly, but we'll see exactly how it all works out. I'm right excited about it now, because I think it'll be pretty interesting. However, there is (if I don't chicken out and change my mind) a contreversial part coming out in the distant future, but if after I write it, I hate it, then you'll never see it, so no worries!

Kloudes: Ah, love. Thanks I needed that.  wink I'm really glad that form of narration works for you and JBERGES (who again picked out a line I pondered for a good while! It's scary I tells ya!). I do love it so when you guys make specific comments. Your opinions do make a difference, believe me!

Nerd-o-rama: Thanks so much for responding! I'm glad you mentioned the fact that it's a solo character chapter. I wanted to give Fry a little time on his own, but I knew it would be a challenge to do it without getting drippy or lame.

Benderfan: Good on you for writing fanfic! I will reply to it when I get a chance, but I'm loving what I've read so far!

This part is more than 2000 words! Whoo! (I am so long winded!

Part 15:
   
   After several hours of tossing and turning, Leela had finally dropped off into a deep, dreamless sleep. That sleep had allowed her a brief respite from troubling thoughts of the dehumanizing test she would face that day, and the woman felt better for it. Even the rain had let up, and the sun was shining brightly through the scattered breaks in cloud cover. As she dressed, Leela glanced at the picture on her nightstand. It was Fry, smiling cheerfully from under his red hair. She hadn’t always kept a picture of her awkward, sometimes irritating friend, but after the wild hallucinations of his death that she had experienced as a result of a space bee sting, her room seemed empty without it. As she lay near death in the hospital, her mind had taken her through a nightmare of grief and confusion in which Fry had been killed on her account and everyone else thought her insane. It had all seemed so real, especially when he was calling to her, pleading piteously for her to wake up. Most of the details were fading in her memory, but she distinctly recalled cradling a picture of Fry close to her breast as she fought valiantly against despair. So now, his picture kept her company, reminding her not to give up when life looked hopeless.

   Funny how sleep and thoughts of a cheerful heart could revive a person. Leela ran a strong brush through her hair and twisted it up into its customary ponytail. The strain from yesterday, and the foreboding promise of the day was still etched on her face, revealed by her red-rimmed eye. Leela splashed cool water on her face, glad for the soothing liquid touch.

Today would definitely be a make-up day, not that cosmetics would prevent Amy from commenting. The cyclops tried to remind herself that the engineering student did not always mean to offend. Like a certain thoughtless redhead, Amy blurted out what was on her mind without realizing how hurtful it could be. Of course, sometimes she was being the Wong heiress, snotty and shallow. Now that Kif was in the picture, Leela was finding Amy far more bearable and sympathetic.

“Forget this.” Leela gave up fussing with her features. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She was going to be brainwashed for crying out loud! As tension began to steal over the cyclops once more, she tried to fight it off with a cup of tea. Unable to sit still, she paced unevenly as she drank it, attempting to put off the inevitable. After Nibbler inhaled the breakfast she had set out for him, he cuddled her leg, sweetly babbling nonsense. She scooped him up in one smooth motion and rubbed her nose on his belly, cooing at him. Still, as cute as Nibbler was, Leela wanted intelligent company. Well, she wanted someone who could talk at least. Grabbing her jacket, she left the cup on the counter. Then Leela put Nibbler on his leash and headed for work. It was early, but Hermes would be there, and the others would trickle in as whimsy directed.       

   Hermes Conrad, former limbo champion and bureaucrat extraordinaire, was performing his daily inventory. It was just as well supplies were extremely limited; otherwise, his meticulous counting would take more than the two hours allotted. The Jamaican was a study in oxymoron: a pencil-pushing athlete, and an astonishingly efficient member of the least efficient organization on earth. After checking over the kitchen, office space, and lounge, Hermes headed for the employee briefing room, which opened up into the docking bay. “Hmm… let’s see. Doors, floor, walls, conference table, ship, drop cloth, the Professor’s latest invention, Fry, surveillance cameras one through eight… Fry!”

Hermes gasped, startled by the sight of Fry slumped in that infernal chair, apparently deeply asleep. His young face was lax and there was a trickle of saliva from the corner of his mouth. Irritated from the scare, the bureaucrat marched over to the limp figure and swatted him on the shoulder with his clipboard none too gently. “Wake up! What are you doing here so early, anyway?” But Fry did not so much as twitch. Hermes shook the delivery boy roughly,  astonished by the lack of reaction. When Fry’s body slid out of the chair and onto the floor, Planet Express’s Chief Financial Officer realized something was very wrong. He raced though the building and outside to the nearby alley, bellowing, “Zoidberg, get in here! Medical emergency! Do your job for once, you stinking lobster!” An alien face popped up perkily from a dumpster.

“An emergency it is?” The doctor asked with a little too much enthusiasm in his voice. “Then it’s Dr. Zoidberg to the rescue! Hooray!” With a high-pitched squeal of joy, he leapt out of the garbage bin, scattering trash slated for recycling over the ground. Hermes led him quickly to the spot where Fry was sprawled. Putting on his most professional expression, the hack doctor peered closely at his patient’s face. “What is it with this one?” he asked rhetorically as Hermes looked on. “Always sick, he is, or drunk, or getting lead pipes installed. Strange creatures these robuts.” Zoidberg poked Fry experimentally before laying the unconscious man out flat on his back. Then he poked Fry again, this time jabbing him sharply in the ribs with the tip of his claw. Still there was no response from the unconscious human. Zoidberg sighed gustily, mouth flaps fluttering. He looked sorrowfully up at Hermes. “I’m sorry. I’ve done all that I can. There’s nothing else medical science can do for him.” The doctor paused dramatically. “I’m afraid Fry is dead.” Hermes stared at the lobster-like alien for a moment.

Then, in great frustration, Hermes struck Zoidberg violently over the head with the clipboard. “He is not, you walking seafood platter! He’s still breathing.” The redhead’s breaths were shallow but steady.

Zoidberg shook his head sadly. “That’s just reflex. The gulls are circling for him already, poor guy.”

Throwing up his hands in exasperation, Hermes went to contact emergency services. Regulations demanded that all companies centered around space travel kept a doctor on staff, but not necessarily a qualified one. With doctors, as with many other things in life, you get what you pay for. And Planet Express paid for Zoidberg.

In his hurry, Hermes just managed to avoid slamming into the Professor, who had been lured away from his precious doomsday devices by the ruckus. “What’s all this racket?” the senile scientist demanded crankily. “Did you let Zoidberg into the owl traps again?”

If only. Hermes quickly filled in the Professor. “No, it’s that lazy kid you hired. He’s out colder than a steel drummer on tour on Pluto in short shorts.”

The Professor blinked in confusion. “Wha?”

Hermes sighed. “Fry’s in the meeting room, on the floor, unconscious. I found him sitting on your mind control device. I’m going to requisition an ambulance.”
 
The scientist reacted with alarm. “Drat that uncle of mine! He’s always getting into something.” Waving the bureaucrat away to call for help, he tottered as rapidly as he could towards his invention muttering about how he couldn’t have nice things.

He took in the sight of Zoidberg hovering over Fry and shooed the anxious decapodian away in order to get a better look at his only living relative. As he bent over, pain went shooting up his back, but genuine concern for the lad overruled it. A man never knew when he would need some blood or DNA, and it was always good to have a back up plan in case something should happen to his aggravating twelve year-old clone, Cubert.

A clear female voice rang abruptly through the building. “Nibbler! What’s gotten into you?” Leela had arrived early, but that was not unusual. She was the best space captain the delivery company had ever had by a large margin.

Farnsworth glanced down as something dark and furry darted past his legs. Leela’s unique tri-eyed pet squeaked and babbled in alarm over Fry’s motionless form as the Professor pondered the situation.

It didn’t take long for the absent minded genius to figure out what had happened to the young man. Fry had used the MMCD on himself. “I should never have made it user friendly,” he lamented softly. But the scientist did not understand why the device would have such a devastating effect on Fry. What was going on inside the reckless kid’s head? Why was he unconscious? Because it was designed specifically for mutants, the MMCD shouldn’t have caused anything more serious than a slight headache for a genetically standard human being. He shifted his gaze from Fry to his invention, considering the possibilities. Thanks to some ill-advised, impetuous behavior in 1947, Fry was not a genetically normal human being. He wasn’t normal in a lot of ways. Since Fry was his own grandfather, would that have changed the MMCD’s interaction with Fry’s brain? Moving to the device, he examined it thoughtfully. Whatever it had done to Fry, Fry had done worse to it. The MMCD’s finely-tuned circuitry had been burnt out and there was extensive damage to all the working parts. It would have to be built entirely anew. The President was not going to be happy with Philip J. Fry.

Rapid steps alerted him to the cyclops presence. Before she entered the room, she called out, “Professor? Are you in here? Have you seen Nibbler?” Apparently, she had not talked to Hermes.

Zoidberg scuttled rapidly out of the room, brushing past Leela while protesting his innocence. “It wasn’t Zoidberg’s fault this time, I swear!” The Professor didn’t really blame him for retreating. He himself dreaded Leela’s reaction. She was staring after the panicked doctor looking perplexed. After a beat, she shrugged it off as yet another of her colleague’s idiosyncrasies. The Professor watched her in silence as she glanced about for Nibbler, spotting him, then Fry.

Sucking in a sharp gasp, she stared at the delivery boy in shock, unable to go to her fallen friend. She turned her piercing gaze to the Professor, unspoken questions in her eye. He looked at her sympathetically, wanting to explain the situation as simply as he could. “I’m not sure, but I believe he decided to try out the MMCD before you had to.” Leaning on the invention for support, the old scientist spoke gently, looking as frail as he ever had.

Leela heard everything. In the background, sirens wailed closer. She heard the soft hiss of the front door as it whooshed open, followed by Hermes voice, and other voices, steady, yet urgent. Pounding footsteps raced towards them until two paramedics burst into the room and surrounded Fry. The Professor’s voice quavered with age as he responded to the quick, impersonal questions. Someone asked her something, but she could not answer. So many words wanted to escape from the throat of the stunned woman that they got jammed together and she could not make a sound. So she stood, mute in the midst of the chaotic noises. Fry was hurt? Was he, was he dead?! No, no, impossible. The medics would not move in such a flurry around him if it were already too late. They had him in a hover stretcher now. She tried to protest as they took him away, managing a few unsteady steps towards the door. Fry went through that cursed device, so that she wouldn’t have to? The wrongness of that called up a flood of grief and guilt in her. She was the one who was supposed to face it, not the sheepish twenty-five year old who followed her around like a lost puppy. Not Fry… not Fry. Someone was talking to her again, a woman was gently pulling her outside to a pink sports hovercar. When had Amy arrived? Leela allowed herself to be guided into the vehicle. The hospital, they were going to the hospital to find Fry. He wasn’t too fond of hospitals. “Bender.”

“What was that, Leela?” Amy looked upset and concerned; sweet of her to be driving them to the hospital, the cyclops noted absently.

“Fry will want Bender there.” Amy nodded.

“Yeah, Hermes is trying to find him now.”

“Okay.” Leela said quietly. She shook her head slightly, trying to absorb what Fry had done, and what price he might pay for his actions. She squeezed her eye shut, but Leela could not deny the image of Fry lying silent and still on the cold floor.
Kloudes

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #130 on: 10-29-2004 22:35 »

 
Quote
However, there is (if I don't chicken out and change my mind) a contreversial part coming out in the distant future, but if after I write it, I hate it, then you'll never see it, so no worries!

Aw, man!  You better keep it in.  I'm quite interested in this controversy you speak of.

 
Quote
Most of the details were fading in her memory, but she distinctly recalled cradling a picture of Fry close to her breast as she fought valiantly against despair.

YES!  You brought The Sting into this.  As it's my favorite episode, I had to comment.  Plus, I love how that last part of the sentence sounds... Great wording.

 
Quote
...and the others would trickle in as whimsy directed.

Just another case of me liking how one particular thing is said.

 
Quote
Always sick, he is, or drunk, or getting lead pipes installed.
Quote
“No, it’s that lazy kid you hired. He’s out colder than a steel drummer on tour on Pluto in short shorts.”

The Professor blinked in confusion. “Wha?”

You say you're not funny, but little lines like this are welcome in a sea of shippy and despair.  They create a perfect balance.

 
Quote
She squeezed her eye shut, but Leela could not deny the image of Fry lying silent and still on the cold floor.

*shiver* I eagerly anticipate the next chapter.  I'm so hooked.
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #131 on: 10-30-2004 00:02 »

AH YES! It is all here now. This update has made me very pleased, somewhat worried, and somewhat giggly all at the same time... kind of weird. I loved your playings of Zoidberg and Hermes, especially the quotes Kloudes already mentioned. Plus all the shippiness... GAGH. I am overwhelmed with... fic affection!
DogDoo8

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #132 on: 10-30-2004 03:03 »

Buitifull work as usual Layla, I am a mixture of many emotions at this time, wich goes to show how talented you are.
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #133 on: 10-30-2004 03:16 »

[Wayne&Garth]We're not worthy!  We're not worthy!  We're not worthy![/W&G]

No surprises here, but written like a master.  Beautiful dialogue and characterization...blah blah blah...fanfic perfection.  Well, dramatic fanfic perfection.  Close enough.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #134 on: 10-30-2004 06:34 »

Poor Fry, Poor Leela...*sob*

i love all the references to past eps. And this talk of controversy intrigues me. More!
becky

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #135 on: 10-30-2004 13:35 »

Fatbot: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

This is even better than the last chapter! So exciting and dramatic! And I also love those funny lines/moments you write in, the ones quoted by Kloudes and this one:
 
Quote
“Then it’s Dr. Zoidberg to the rescue! Hooray!” With a high-pitched squeal of joy, he leapt out of the garbage bin, scattering trash slated for recycling over the ground.
Genius! The way you write it makes it ten times funnier!  laff

Keep it coming! For God's sake, keep it coming! (Otherwise I'll wet my pants.)
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #136 on: 10-30-2004 19:54 »

I haven't read a weak chapter in this story yet, Layla.  Keep up the excellent work.
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #137 on: 10-30-2004 21:09 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Crash_7:
I haven't read a weak chapter in this story yet, Layla.  Keep up the excellent work.

Agreed! The whole fic is top drawer. Great work Layla! I like where you seem to be going with Leela's feelings and the emotnional background you gave her.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #138 on: 10-31-2004 00:10 »

I hope you realize you lovely people are killing me.  smile I've got another long update for you.

Kloudes: Well, I can't really explain why I think it might be controversial without giving it away, but suffice it to say that if I don't write it very carefully, I may lose some of you lovely readers. Or maybe you'll love it, I don't know. Part of the fun of all this is that I never know what you'll think about something I've written.
I too love the Sting. It's the best coma episode I've ever seen.  wink Again, I'm sooo glad you like these funny little lines I try to put in. It's one thing to jam in the occasional one liner, quite another to write a completely humour based story.  Thanks again for the lovely comments!

say what now: giggly, worried, and pleased? I'm glad I could bring out such a rainbow of emotions.  smile Be sure that you do the same thing to me when you comment. I'm so glad Zoidy and Hermes worked well for you, since I find them tricky, but fun to write.

DogDoo8: Ah, you flatter me, kind sir. Thanks for reading!

Nerd-o-rama: You know of course, that you are really tempting me to attempt a humour fic after this one, assuming I survive that long? I'm just amazed at how enthusiastic you guys are, (even those of you not fond of drama.  wink) Written like a master? Hardly, but I thank you anyway!

Aww... don't cry Venus! They'll be okay! Or will they??? I don't exactly know the ending yet...

becky:Thanks for responding! I'm really glad that you find that the humour works in prose form. I know prose is my strength, not script, and if I ever write a humour story, it'll be in prose. Don't wet your pants!   laff

Crash_7: Aww... gushy gushy gush. Thanks!

Ol'coot: Have I told you that your name + avatar makes me laugh? It does! I like your use of the word seem when you talk about Leela's feelings. There are some more in this update, and she's out of zombie mode now, don't worry. Yay! It's the return of captain Leela!


Part 15:

   By the time Amy and Leela got to the hospital, Leela was starting to recover from the shock. They rushed into the building, but no amount of pleading allowed them to see Fry. The receptionist, one of the yarn people of Nylar IV, insisted that they wait until the doctors had finished running a battery of tests. “It is for the good of your friend, agitated creatures.” She murmured slowly. English was a difficult language to speak for her species. Leela clenched her fists in frustration, but surrendered to reason. Much as she wanted to, it would do her no good to burst into Fry’s hospital room, and it might do him harm. She had done enough harm to her friend that day. She collapsed into one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, and Amy followed suit.

If only she had taken it better, instead of falling apart in front of him at her parents’ house. She deeply regretted allowing him to come along. Leela knew how impulsive the delivery boy was, and he was always pulling crazy stunts in order to impress her. Please, don’t let him have been trying to impress me, she thought in anguish. Fighting back tears, she buried her face in her hands. It was far too public a place for this kind of emotional display. Amy touched her arm gently in shared pain, but Leela pulled away. Her sympathy only made it harder to avoid crying. Amy awkwardly let her hand drop back to her lap, and Leela felt badly for rejecting the show of support, but she had never been rewarded for showing weakness.

They weren’t alone in the waiting room. There were six other people, of varying origins and ages. An exhausted green-skinned woman with two small children was trying to keep them quiet, while an elderly neutral stared silently into space. It was impossible to tell whether the small boy’s curious explorations were disturbing the solemn man or entertaining him. An energy being was flitting back and forth, waiting for some announcement, with eagerness or anxiety. In the far corner, there was a human male, about thirty-five years old, flicking through a magazine, coughing from time to time. Leela had caught the subtle, curious glances emitted from each of them, save the neutral. The human had the faintest trace of disgust in his expression, though he tried to disguise it. She was accustomed to such reactions, but hated that haughty expression all the same. As she watched him shake his head ever so slightly and smirk at her from behind his magazine, outrage built up in her. Tired beyond reason, Leela wanted to do something, anything, and that scum-sucking wad of stuck-up priss was pushing her buttons.

“Have you got a problem with me?!” The agitated cyclops cried, leaping out of her chair and heading towards the man so quickly that she startled everyone in the room. Amy made a grab for Leela’s arm, but missed. She watched in dismay as the angry woman tore the magazine from his hands and glared straight into his eyes.

“What are you, crazy? Get outta my face, you freak.” The target of Leela’s raging tide of emotions stood up and pushed her out of his way just as a nurse appeared.

“This is hospital. What going on?”  The amazonian’s impressive physical presence took the fight out of the man and Amy was whispering rapidly to Leela, her arm wrapped around the cyclops’ waist, half in restraint and half in an effort to calm the angry woman.

“Leela, Leela, listen to me. Listen, it’s not worth it, it isn’t going to help. Just let it go so you can be here for Fry. He’s all that matters right now, Leela.” Muscles relaxed and one lone round eye met Amy’s worried look. “We have to stay calm, or they’ll throw us out of here. We won’t get to see Fry.” Seeing she had Leela’s attention, Amy pulled her into a loose embrace, whispering in her ear, “We don’t want him to wake up alone, do we?” Amy was startled when Leela suddenly returned the hug, choking out a weak agreement, but she instinctively tightened her hold. The support and the positive nature of Amy’s belief in Fry’s recovery strengthened Leela, who turned back to the room’s occupants and softly apologized.

The nurse nodded sharply in acceptance before jabbing a finger at the man who had so upset Leela. “You come now for exam. No more cause trouble, filthy man.” When he gathered himself to protest his treatment, she stuck her hands on her broad hips. “You come now!” Terg had been commended on many occasions for her problem solving skills. The thoroughly cowed jerk followed her meekly out of the room as Amy and Leela settled down in their seats to continue waiting for news.

After several minutes of reflection, Leela spoke up. “So, Hermes is looking for Bender, right?” Amy nodded and Leela continued, “Where is everyone else? Why aren’t the others here?”

Amy leaned back in the beige seat, “The Professor is around here somewhere, he managed to go with the paramedics in the ambulance as Fry’s closest relative.” She smiled weakly, “Also, I think they were a little worried about him collapsing too.” Leela said nothing, so Amy continued, “Zoidberg wasn’t around in all the commotion, so I guess he’s still back at Planet Express. Hermes said if he couldn’t contact Bender he’d just wait for him to show up there. I guess that’s everyone…” Amy remembered something very important to Leela. “Oh! And Nibbler’s okay; we left him there too.” She spoke to reassure as Leela jumped slightly, looking around as though searching for her pet.

   Just then, Farnsworth entered looking flustered and put out. “I’ll be contacting my lawyer, see if I don’t!” He shook his fist wildly in the air, his complaint directed at no one in particular. The scientist could rave with the best of them. Leela and Amy quickly ushered him to where they were sitting. After looking around suspiciously at the other people in the room, he leaned closely to the women and in a gleeful voice whispered, “Good news, ladies, I’ve got what we came for.” He grinned with pride, patting a large pocket in his lab coat.

   They stared at the Professor, baffled for a moment. “Got what, Professor?” Amy whispered back.

   “Why, the results of Fry’s medical records, of course!” He shook his head at having to explain the obvious to someone other than his lack-wit delivery boy. “I must have these records to determine why he is in this state. No one will be able to help him until we understand what’s happened.”

Leela spoke with an edge in her voice, “We know what happened! I freaked out in front of him and my parents. He took it as some sort of cue to play the hero and be a test subject in my place!” Amy squeezed her hand in warning when the cyclops spoke loudly enough to draw attention to their conversation. Leela tried to control her voice. “You built it. You should know what it would do to him. You said it was safe!” The last words were an accusatory hiss.

“Yes, yes. It is safe, safe for you, safe for… your kind.” He was wise enough not to even whisper the word ‘mutant’. “But Fry is different somehow, and if there is anyway to bring him back to us, we must find out how he is different.” He steepled his knobby fingers to focus his thoughts as he finished his explanation. “I have a theory, and if I am correct, it will be very difficult to wake him,” Leela and Amy exchanged anxious glances, and the Professor moved to reassure them, “difficult, yes, but not impossible. Nothing is impossible.”

They waited in silence then, contemplating his words as patients and family members came and went. Finally, a familiar voice pierced the heavy medical atmosphere.
“Yo, where’s Philip Fry, I’m here to bring my human home!” Bender and Hermes had arrived at last, and were directed to the wait along with everyone else. A robotic orderly firmly pushed the argumentative bending unit into the room. A look of simulated relief washed over his emotionless features when Bender forgot about his metallic brother in favour of his co-workers.

As the orderly left for other duties, the Planet Express crew engaged in a quick, urgent conversation. Without even meaning to, Leela fell into her role as a leader. “Hermes, the Professor has to get out of here fast before someone realizes he has Fry’s records. Get him back to his lab as quickly as you can.” The dark-skinned human nodded. “Remember that someone has to talk to Nixon when he calls, and I’d rather not have Zoidberg handling that conversation.” She turned to Bender, who was clearly restless. He was the only robot Leela knew of that fidgeted. “I know you want to see Fry as much as I do,” the robot shrugged casually, but his darting eyes betrayed his concern for the human he’d come to love as a pet, or perhaps even as a brother. “But, I need someone to tell my parents what’s happened.” While it was true the mutants needed to be prepared for whatever consequences arrived out of the accident, Leela desperately wanted her parents to be near. She needed the family support she was still learning to depend on.

Bender wasn’t satisfied. “Oh,” he whined in protest, “I’m not good with bearing bad news, and all those emotions and stuff. Why don’t you send Amy? I’m sure she’d love to take a trip to a dank sewer and meet your parents.” Amy looked away, hoping Leela wouldn’t change her mind.

The captain shook her head. “That’s just it Bender, she hasn’t been there. She’d have trouble finding them, and even if she could, the mutants don’t know her. They might capture her as a threat to them. They already know about Nixon’s plot, so they’ll act first and ask questions later.” The Asian woman shuddered. There was no way she was going down there alone. “But you know them, and they know you. Bender, it won’t be a problem.” Leela sighed, and added some emotion to her appeal. “Do it for Fry.” The robot looked down, then back at the woman his roomie adored, and relented.

“Well, it’s just lucky for him that I planned to go down there today anyway.” A smile tugged on her lips, but she was careful not to make a fuss over Bender’s affection for Fry.

“Good. Amy, stay here in the hospital. I want you to listen for any word concerning Fry. The more we know about what’s going on the better. Charm a doctor if you have to.” Amy nodded, glad to be given a task she could handle, and hoping Kif would forgive her for flirting a little. She thought he would understand; after all, it was for a good cause. “Does everyone know what they need to do?” Nods from everyone.

Then Amy hesitantly asked, “What are you going to do, Leela?” The team waited expectantly, all eyes on the cyclops. Leela sat up straighter.

“I’m not going anywhere until I’ve at least seen Fry for a little while. I hate to leave him at all, but it may be necessary.” The practical side of her mind was rapidly predicting what might occur. “If anything goes wrong, those doctors are going to answer to me.” She remembered the doctor responsible for the whole situation. “All of them.”

Roles assigned, each of them took off for their respective duties. After a few encouraging words, Amy left Leela sitting in the room in order to wander the hospital and find a doctor involved with Fry’s case. The confident space captain faded away into a woman alone and desperately afraid for the man who was slowly but surely squirreling his way into her heart. She closed her eye, wishing she could be in the room with him, wishing she could hold his hand while she told him how important he was to her. “You stayed with me Fry,” she murmured quietly, “and the least I can do is return the favour.”


--------------------------------------
Now that was green skittle shippy.  big grin Maybe even too much. I'd like to clarify, she still doesn't want to throw herself at him, but the saying is true, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
Philp_J_Fry

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #139 on: 10-31-2004 00:34 »

Best chapter yet,in my opinion.I haven't posted in this thread for a while,but I've read all the updates.Keep up the great work,I'm looking foward to 
another chapter.
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #140 on: 10-31-2004 00:48 »
« Last Edit on: 10-31-2004 00:48 »

For a review of the part before this, see what Kloudes said, she touched all the important points.  This was part 16, by the way.
     
Quote
“It is for the good of your friend, agitated creatures.” She murmured slowly.
           
Quote
Terg had been commended on many occasions for her problem solving skills.

Now it’s my turn to comment on the comic relief. 
It is good.
End comment.
           
Quote
It's one thing to jam in the occasional one liner, quite another to write a completely humour based story.
Aw… you’re just saying that because you know I read this… and have writers block which has thwarted anything even resembling a joke from finding paper in 2 weeks.

“Cow,” now that’s a word I should use more often as a verb.

And, I’ll repeat yet again, you have every character down pat, and your work has held that quality unwaveringly. 
           
Quote
I’ll be contacting my lawyer, see if I don’t!” He shook his fist wildly in the air, his complaint directed at no one in particular.
Perfect.

And yes, while it seems that you spilt the reservoir of ship you’ve been dipping the quill in occasionally all over the paper at the end there, I can’t say it’s unjustified. "You stayed with me, and the least I can do is return the favour.” pretty much sums it all up.

     
Quote
I'd like to clarify, she still doesn't want to throw herself at him,
Pshh.  But that's all the fans want, silly.  As a beta, I've got it covered.

[Layla]
Amy left Leela sitting in the room in order to meander the halls, and hopefully find a callow, credulous doctor involved with Fry’s case. Meanwhile, the once confident space captain paled away into a hollow, lonely woman. She was desperately afraid she would lose the man that had been slowly yet surely squirreling his way into her fantasies. She closed her eye, wishing she could have taken him up on just one of those offers which she had, up until now, so callously rebuffed. “Fry,” she murmured gently, “If I had only known this would happen…” she fretfully bit her lip, sensible mind clashing an unfettered heart. “I would have said yes…”
[/Layla]

Much better.         big grin

EDIT:  N-o-r does realize I'm kidding, right?
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #141 on: 10-31-2004 00:52 »

You've succeeded in putting me on the emotion rollercoaster once again. First I was interested, then anxious, then I had to snort with laughter at Bender's entrance... and then that shippiness at the end... the last thing Leela says. I've choked on too many breaths for that one... yes, good shippiness does that to me. The sweetness of it all is so much to handle that my heart can't take it and I suffer an asthmatic shippy attack of some sort... in any case, I loved this chapter, and green skittles indeed.
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #142 on: 10-31-2004 01:25 »

Ignore JBERGES's last bit.  As much as I love shippiness, I also hate soliloquies.  Your ending is fine.  (The Sting may be the greatest single episode of anything ever on television, and I'll never belittle a reference.)  Good thing Leelaholic doesn't seem to read this thread...he and I have been arguing about that since my second week here.

Further, copy-and-paste my last post.
Kloudes

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #143 on: 10-31-2004 01:42 »

 
Quote
I hope you realize you lovely people are killing me.

 
Quite probably.  big grin
   
 
Quote
Well, I can't really explain why I think it might be controversial without giving it away, but suffice it to say that if I don't write it very carefully, I may lose some of you lovely readers. Or maybe you'll love it, I don't know.

 
Now who's killing who?!
 
Oh, and I'm 99.9% sure JBERGES was joking/being sarcastic.  He was most likely making reference to the oodles of oozy shippy fics out there that you, Layla, are so artfully avoiding.  Another perfect chapter.   
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #144 on: 10-31-2004 07:19 »

perfect beyond all comprehension. Ignore me while i go curl up into a lump of happiness on the floor and die. Green skittles indeed.
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #145 on: 10-31-2004 19:53 »

 Great job on part 15 Layla. I especially appreciate the way you portrayed the interaction of Amy and Leela. It is nice to see the usual roles reversed (Amy as the grown-up and Leela as the dizzy one).

 The bit with the Amazonian nurse was choice, just the right amount of comic relief!
DogDoo8

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #146 on: 10-31-2004 20:26 »

Ahh, i loved that you used the word "meekly".

Again, you cease to amaze. Your talent shows more with every sentence you wright. I never thought Futurama could be anything other then a cartoon but you have proven me wrong.
becky

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #147 on: 11-01-2004 16:51 »

I wish I had something creative and original to add about this chapter, Layla, but I guess everything I wanted to say has already been said  smile Let me just say I'm very, very interested in what's going to happen next! Great work!
Zmithy

Professor
*
« Reply #148 on: 11-01-2004 22:50 »

Well, I saw The Sting for the first time tonight, and after watching it 3 times then eating three spoons of honey (seriously!), I was so damn hooked on shippiness, and detailed plots.

I wanted more.  smile
I checked out this thread.  big grin
I thought, "Thats a bit long, I'll only read a couple of parts"  hmpf
I got hooked, bigtime.  eek
I read the whole thing.  no no
Its nearly 4 in the morning.  sleep

I absolutely love it, you've been so busy since I last checked this thread, how do you manage such an output?
Great plot, characterisation, hell everything! I especially like the 'Bender and Fry' moments, they could have come straight out of an episode, and they're well positioned within the overall story.

This is becoming epic, I'm guessing it will blossom into a fifty-part masterpiece.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #149 on: 11-04-2004 14:01 »
« Last Edit on: 11-04-2004 14:01 »

Edit: Scratch that, I guess the update is here!


Hi all! Update coming soon, probably tonight! Sorry about the delay, I'm writing what is probably the hardest part of the story, since I'm setting up all the little plotlines with these next dew parts. I just had a quick question though: How complicated should I make this plot? Right now, there's a Fry/Leela storyline, plus the whole Nixon plot, then Amy, Hermes, Bender all have parts to play. Nibbler's going to get a role in this story, they'll be at least a cameo with other mutants and now I've got an idea for a bit involving Zapp and Kif. I'm trying not to give anything away of course, but should I go ahead and draw them in? Or should I try to simplify things a little?

P.S. Zmithy, I didn't intend to write an epic story here, but I'm coming to realize just what I've gotten myself into. I don't think I'm half way through yet! Glad you came back though, and very glad you like it!

   
Part 17: (I knew I shoulda checked what number the last part was! Thanks JBERGES!)

   
Back at Planet Express, Professor Hubert Farnsworth poured over the records he had lifted from the hospital. There had to be some reason for Fry’s unconsciousness. One of the first tests hospitals performed on an unconscious patient was a brain scan, and the results of that scan were of the most interest to the Professor. Nothing struck him as unusual during the quick survey, so the scientist turned his attention to the MMCD. Even though he had created the device, he wasn’t entirely sure how it worked. It was one of the drawbacks of being a mad genius, working on an instinct so pure that it went beyond scientific understanding. Cubert was often skeptical of his creative leaps of faith. The Professor sighed as he puzzled over his work. A man tried to share his life with his clone, but in the end, there would always be barriers between the generations.

The artificial intelligence that guided the MMCD and gave it its charming personality had been wiped out of existence. It was a hard blow; Farnsworth had become somewhat attached to Bernadette. Pulling the device apart to find out what went wrong the night before felt very much like doing a dissection. He didn’t mind dissections of course, but that’s what it felt like.

When the Professor had locked himself away in his lab to try to understand what had happened to Fry, Hermes began pacing back and forth in his office. Desperately, he tried to plan what he was going to say when Nixon called demanding to know why they hadn’t sent him the preliminary results.  “Uh, Mr. President, hello! How are you on this fine afternoon? The Professor? Uh… what professor? Sorry, never heard of him. Oh! You want Planet Express! This is Planete Express. With a silent e on the end. No, no, that’ll never work. He’s going to flay us alive!” He halted his pacing abruptly. This was not the Jamaican way to handle stress. Settling into his office chair, and looking around to double check that no one was around, he slid open the top drawer. With a contented sigh, Hermes started filling out a particularly tedious form for the Central Bureaucracy. It was almost meditation for him.

A sudden musical burbling alerted him to Nibbler’s presence. “Get lost, you fuzzy dependant!” Nibbler simply stared at him quizzically. “Leela’s at the hospital with Fry, and I’m not pet-sitting some darkmatter-excreting fur pile.” Getting up from the desk, Hermes shooed the adorable glutton out of the room. After shutting and locking the door, he resumed his paperwork. It was so automatic for him that he could answer the ludicrously complicated questions without really thinking about them, leaving him free to ponder what he was going to tell the malevolent dictator when the dreaded call came in.
   
Padding near silently on the well-polished floor tiles, Nibbler cooed and gibbered innocently. There was nothing about the diminutive creature that would lead an Earth native to suspect intelligence. In fact, that was the point. Lord Nibbler was brilliantly adept at being undercover. On numerous worlds across the millennia the ancient operative had observed and studied the native cultures, waiting patiently for the Mighty One to come. He had not been discovered since his rookie days, unfathomable eons ago, and that had only been by his mentor. At long last, he was engaging in his critical mission to protect and guide the Mighty One. All those long years of practice had paid off. He had had no trouble infiltrating the dim-witted Earthicans, slipping into Leela’s affections with an ease that Fry would have killed for.

However, things had seemed quiet after the Mighty One had completed his mission to neutralize the Brainspawn’s infosphere, and the Nibblonian had let his guard down slightly. Always members of his fearsome species combed the galaxy watching for signs of awakening from those who desired chaos and destruction. The fragile balance of life in the universe depended on their vigilance. No signs had been spotted of late, and it was only natural that all creatures enjoy a respite from trouble, even those as wise and powerful as the Nibblonians. His indolence had led to this situation, and now the Mighty One was in peril. Nibbler had to get a look at the device that had sent Fry into a sleep from which he could not wake. In order to do that, he had to do some acting. Looking as cute as Nibblonianly possible, i.e. very cute indeed, Nibbler scampered to the door to the Professor’s lab. The primitive lock placed on the door was no hindrance to the intelligent creature, but reaching it was. He could not climb to the access panel without anything to grasp. After a few hopeful, but undignified jumps, Nibbler found a solution. With a running start, the Nibblonian leapt with enough strength to hook the edge of the access panel with his needle sharp claws. Scrabbling desperately at the smooth wall, he managed to drag himself high enough to short out the lock. 30th century humans were far too dependant on electricity in Nibbler’s opinion, but it worked to his advantage in this case.

Pushing through the deactivated door, he spotted the Professor muttering to himself in one of Earth’s degenerate languages. Resuming his own running commentary, Nibbler approached the scientist who was hunched over, picking through scattered bits of metal and wiring. Cursing the device that had brought harm to the Mighty One, he began his own examination, carefully attempting to appear as idly curious as he could to disguise the intensity of his interest. The Professor ignored him.

Nibbler did not like what he saw. Clearly, the contraption had been designed for mind control, but Fry’s brain was not susceptible to such clumsy efforts. However, it was not impervious to harm. In fact, it was terribly, terribly fragile. Still, the Nibblonian did not see what had caused the shutting down of Fry’s patchwork mind.

He mulled over the assorted bits for several minutes before he became aware of the quietness that had descended on the room. Glancing over at the Professor to see what had halted his mindless droning, he was startled to see a spark of intelligence flicker in the rheumy eyes, which were barely visible through the thick glasses. Farnsworth was in the middle of a light bulb moment, looking from a hastily scrawling circuit diagram to the hard copy of the results of Fry’s brain scan.

   “Delta waves?” Nibbler squeaked in alarm. It was not good, not good at all that someone had noticed the strange organization of Fry’s mind. The Mighty One was the only person in the universe whose mind functioned without the use of the delta brainwave. The Professor's first words alarmed Nibbler, but those that followed stunned him to silence. “Delta brainwaves very prominent… almost no other brain waves present.” Fry’s mind running on the delta waves? It could not be!

Praying that the scientist was merely confused, Nibbler bounded into the startled Professor’s lap and up to the table to get a look at what the crotchety human was seeing. “What are you doing? I knew I shouldn’t have let Leela bring her filthy pet to work! Shoo, shoo!” Farnsworth tried to swat him off the table but the Nibblonian was far too nimble. Dodging the age-cracked hands of the Professor, he managed to get a look at the records.

   Utterly bewildered, Farnsworth watched as Leela’s beloved pet gibbered almost hysterically in what seemed to be panic before leaping from the table, scattering sheets and small bits of dismantled MMCD. In less than a second, Nibbler was gone. Muttering angrily about pet laws being far too lenient, Farnsworth returned to his work. There was little doubt in his mind that his invention controlled mutant minds by inducing delta brainwaves in the subject, essentially sending them into a waking sleep, which made them very suggestible. If further investigation proved that to be the case, then it meant that Fry was not, in fact, comatose, but rather in a very deep sleep. The questions that remained then were: why wouldn’t the delivery boy wake, if he were merely asleep, how could they wake him up, and what were they going to tell President Nixon?
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #150 on: 11-04-2004 22:58 »

I say go for it. Chances are it will make the story even longer, which will make me a very happy camper. If you can think of these complex little things, don't let them go to waste!

Suh-weet chapter by the way.
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #151 on: 11-05-2004 00:16 »

Niec inclusion of actual science there at the end.  Either you've done your research, or you've been reading the Re-Check forum.

Anyway, this chapter was nice: we get to see how the Professor's and Hermes's minds work a bit at the beginning of the chapter, which is nice and not quite as disturbing as many of us would have thought.  However, I think you maybe relied a little too much on internal perspective, especially with Nibbler.  There are, as I count, 5 sentences of dialogue in the entire chapter.  I understand this is mostly a descriptive and informative segment, but remember this is based on a TV show, and we're used to hearing the characters speak.  I wouldn't have objected one bit to Nibbler self-narrating in English when no one was around - his bit at then end of The Day the Earth Stood Stupid is, and I think you'll agree, hilarious.
Also, there was no Leela, but that's a personal preference.

And to answer your complication question: ah, go ahead.  What fanfic is complete without at least a token appearance by The Zapper?

All that aside, still a wonderful chapter in a wonderful story.  Keep on goin' Layla; I'm hooked.
Benderfan 1230

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #152 on: 11-05-2004 11:50 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
Benderfan: Good on you for writing fanfic! I will reply to it when I get a chance, but I'm loving what I've read so far!

Thanks Layla.I probably won't be updating it for a while because I am out of ideas...
but replies are always welcome!I LOVE your new chapters by the way,I had a lot of catching up to do.
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #153 on: 11-05-2004 14:36 »

Great pacing and a great place to leave the chapter! Add as much as you wish to the story, it is your baby after all! But pleas Layla - if you have to include Zipp B. please make him look bad!!!
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #154 on: 11-05-2004 20:58 »

Thanks for the comments guys! I know that wasn't the most electrifying chapter, but it was necessary.

Ol'coot: (blinks sweetly) So, you mean Zapp isn't the knight in shining armour that he thinks he is? Gee, I'll have to remember that, if I include him. We'll see what happens. Oh, and I'm glad you liked the Amy/Leela role reversal. It's fun to twist things around here and there. Thanks for the support!

Venus: I hope I didn't really kill you.  frown
Maybe you'll recover when I get to more of the Fry/ Leela story.  smile Soon, soon...

Kloudes: Gee, I'm quite the murderess this week. Maybe I should kill off some characters... Bwahahaha!

Benderfan1230: Sometimes the best way to come up with ideas is to not try, and other times, you have to just keep on it. Don't give up though!

Nerd-o-rama: Yep, I did my research. Whoo! Thank you psychology text book. I completely agree with the internal stuff. It bothered me, but I wasn't sure what to do about it. However, I think your idea of Nibbler self-narrating is absolutely brilliant, and I'm definately going to change that whole scene when I rewrite. Thanks a million! Glad you're still with me!

say what now:  smile I think sometimes you must lurk around right when I'm posting cuase you're so often my first responder. Thanks! I've almost hit the 20000 word mark, and I've got a long way to go. Hope you don't get bored waiting for this thing to finally end! And as for the shippy asthma attack, ( and pants wetting) maybe I should put a warning label on this thing.  wink I'm really touched I can evoke such an emotional response from you.

JBERGES: Oh, you are going to rock as a beta reader, right up to the word fantasies, I was thinking, yeesh, that is way better than what I wrote. I gotta hurry up and finish this thing so I can turn it over to your expert hands. If I gave you skittles, would it help with your writer's block? I'm gonna sponge up some of that shippy ink during the rewrite. (Love the metaphor!)

Philp_J_Fry: Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you keep enjoying the story. I can't wait till I get to the fun parts.

becky:Glad you're interested, it keeps me going. I hope you like all the action, drama and touches of comedy that are coming up.

DogDoo8: Thanks for the kind words. It's not that hard to flesh out the Futurama characters. After all, their is just so much heart underlying the show. I'm just preying off what they gave me.


Part 18:

Bender stomped through the labyrinth of tunnels under New New York. Not at all inclined to be silent, he was reciting a litany of complaints as he tried to remember where the Turanga family were living. “Oh, Bender,” he mocked in a whiny high-pitched imitation of Leela, “why don’t you go down into the grimy, gross, boring sewers to find my mutant parents while I relax in the nice comfy waiting room.” The robot moaned in disgust when he stepped in something unpleasant. Grumbling, he scraped his foot relatively clean and continued striding through the filthy corridor. The sooner he was out of the sewer, the sooner he could hit the robot wash. “Oh, we’re human, so we don’t like dark, scary places like the sewers. I know! Let’s send the robot! He doesn’t have anything better to do. Jerks only got five senses, oughta try touring the sewers with smision! Blecch.”

His diatribe echoed around him, carrying far along the musty tunnels. It was not long before Bender attracted attention.
Two mutants appeared, blocking his path and causing Bender to jump back with an alarmed yelp. Among the sewer-dwelling population of the (New) Big Apple, there existed an infinite variety of mutations. One of the mutants accosting him was large and hairy with an upturned nose reminiscent of Cubert’s. He looked especially menacing because of the thick, pointed spikes that jutted from each elbow. The other was only slightly less intimidating. She was short and wiry with large eyes that narrowed into serpentine slits. Her long hair was wrapped tightly with a strip of cloth that may have once been white. She held a makeshift pitchfork in her hands, and she seemed prepared to use it. After considering the situation for a moment, Bender decided he’d better make nice.

“Hey! I’m Bender, and I’m sure it’s a pleasure to meet me! I gotta tell ya that it looks like God beat the tar out of you with an ugly stick.” The mutants edged closer, and there was a very unfriendly gleam in their eyes. Bender tried some small talk, meat-based life forms liked that sort of thing, right? “So, nice weather you’re having down here. Pretty dank and depressing, but you know, whatever turns your crank. That’s what I always say!” He smiled cheerfully at them, but was becoming very uneasy. You could never tell what a non-robot would do. Skin tubes were so unpredictable, except Leela.   

   “State your business.” The smaller mutant demanded, swishing her tail in tension, and threatening him with the pitchfork. A pitchfork wasn’t a particularly dangerous weapon to a robot, but it cost a fortune to get dents fixed.

   “What kind, official, unofficial, or criminal? I like to spread myself around.” He grinned roguishly, pulling a cigar out from his chest cavity and preparing to light it.

   The mutants reacted with fright, quickly moving to stop him. “No! Don’t do it! You’ll blow us straight to the sub-sewer!” The spark ignited the sewer gasses and all three of them ended up singed from the flash fire.

   “He’s from Nixon! Sent here to attack us!” The large mutant cried, lunging forward to latch onto the bemused robot’s left arm.

   “Hey! Let go of that!” Bender tried to shrug out of the mutant’s grasp. The noise of the scuffle brought more mutants, and before he could free himself, he was surrounded. “Whoa, whoa! Now let’s not get hasty, freakish underground monsters.” He stopped trying to shake off the mutants in favour of calming them. “C’mon now, downgrade your processor speed and listen. I’m just here to find uh, what are their names? Uh…. Well, you know the ones, purplish hair, cyclopes, uh… daughter living on the surface? I dunno. All you people look alike to me.”

   One of the first mutants, the woman, took charge. “That can only be Morris and Munda. What do you want with them, intruder?” She tilted her head back to look him in the eye, proudly. “We will not give our own up to your ruler. We will fight rather than surrender if it must be.”
A three-armed mutant, one jutting out of the side of his head, pushed his way through the crowd to lay a hand on her shoulder.

   “Relax, Janice. Don’t you recognize the robot that vanquished El Chupanibre?” Blinking, she leaned in for a closer look, before releasing Bender. The recently re-elected Supreme Mutant smiled in welcome at the unwitting invader. “Forgive the reception, friend, but we have been very anxious about surface dwellers of late. Yesterday, we received word of Nixon’s plans to enslave us, and as I’m sure you understand,” Bender sighed heavily, bored. “my people are not happy.” There was a sad weariness in the mutant’s brown eyes. “We are not generally a violent society, unless we are threatened. We have accepted our place here, under your streets, but this is our home, and we will not be pushed out of it. Many talk of fighting, and I do not know how long I can counsel for peace.” Looking around the slime covered walls and rusted pipes that meant safety and shelter for his people, he smiled bitterly. “I will not give up my home for your mad President’s paranoia.” Bender nodded absently.
   
“Yeah, yeah, that’s a real noble cause you’ve got here, alright. Living off human refuse, like vermin, who could blame you for protecting that way of life.” Bender’s sarcasm went clearly over the heads of the mutants, who were sincere in their desire to protect the sewers. “Anyway, I gotta talk to Leela’s parents, so, can I get goin’ here or what?”

   The three-armed mutant nodded seriously. “Deliver your message to them, then. We thank you and your friends for your efforts.”

   “Well, it’s about time somebody was thanking me, Bender!” The robot walked forwards through the crowd, the mutants scattering out of his way.

   When he finally arrived, Bender felt a little hesitant about knocking. Morris and Munda were kind hearted, loving people, and in his experience with humans, that meant the news of Fry’s accident would cause all sorts of emotional furor. It was a shame humans weren’t more like robots, cold-hearted, logical, self absorbed. Yep! Bender was great, alright. He never let himself get attached to fragile, passing things, like humans, even the best ones. Sure, they started out cute, but they grew up, and then it was difficult to flush them down the toilet. So, it was a good thing that Bender wasn’t attached to Fry at all, his first friend, his best friend. Not attached at all. Even though it didn’t look like the redhead would ever grow up. Even though he was so easy to manipulate that it was a game for the robot to see just how insane a stunt he could get Fry to pull. Even though the thought of his painfully slow roomie not being around was enough to drive the robot away from liquor. Emotional bonds were for humans. Bender would never worry about the little guy, that was a mother’s job, and he was all manbot. Why, thoughts of Fry in trouble, maybe even dying simply bounced harmlessly off his anti-sentiment firewall. Bender started to sniffle quietly. “Lousy firewall, I’m gonna have to get that upgraded.”
------------------------------------

I meant to keep going with Morris and Munda, but I'm just too tired right now. They'll be back tommorow. And so will I.  smile
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #155 on: 11-05-2004 21:08 »

A Morris and Munda chapter coming up? *Springs back to life* Hell, i can rot later!
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #156 on: 11-05-2004 21:16 »

Well, well...are we perhaps doing a...you know, one of those things when your characters are all split up and you go through each of them in turn to see what everyone's doing.  Like a montage but slower and without music.  What, I'm a compsci major.  I'm not supposed to knw all these literary terms.  Anyway, excellent emotion at the end there, and Bender is also a good candidate for self-narration.  You even wrote that last paragraph in the way he speaks.  But getting off my comic cliche fixation...

Excellent characterization and emotion throughout, something the show's writers notoriously had trouble with with Bender (the reason most Bender-centric eps were pretty poor.)  Also, the conversation with the mutants was excellent, quite in character, and with extremely good descriptions.  As far as I can tell, that's the main advantage of prose format, along with any time there is a lot of action and no dialogue (which hasn't happened yet here.)
 
Quote
Skin tubes were so unpredictable, except Leela.
Heheheh...out of the blue insults.  Classic Futurama, especially when used against Leela.

All in all the whole chapter, especially the last paragraph, was golden.
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #157 on: 11-05-2004 21:18 »

BWAAHH!! That was the cutest Bender scene I have ever read, and yet the best part was that you pulled him off being adorable while still in character... I cannot even imagine the difficulty of that. Not to mention that this had lots of funny in it. Sarcastic funny, witty funny, robotic funny (if you understand what I am referring to), and cute funny. That last line from Bender was the cutest little thing ever. I have used the word cute enough to make childrens' heads explode, so I should probably shut up.

As for the update things, well, yes, it seems like that is the case  big grin. Not to mention I check this thread quite often.

Anyway. Your brilliance has been further proven with your ability to make any kind of scene with any kind of character, all the while having them abide by the personality the show gives them. Ahhh. It makes me so happy.
DogDoo8

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #158 on: 11-06-2004 00:39 »

My eyes hurt from reading so much, so i'll make this short.

I love reading your work, its great and fantastic and very engoyable.

Now of to dunk my head in a bucket of water.....
ooy

Professor
*
« Reply #159 on: 11-06-2004 00:43 »
« Last Edit on: 11-06-2004 00:43 »

I've just spent the last somthing muinites reading this thing, good work Layla50

BOTPD
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