I hate that which you love: movie reviews

[on:]

Hmm, haven't actually seen anything lately ...

Star wars: The Legacy Revealed

Sure, it was great to see all these people talking about Star Wars, and I do feel some slight new appreciation for the prequel trilogy, but I have to wonder if Lucas intended half the things these people were talking about.

Get the hell off my Star Wars special, Nancy Pelosi!  Hmm, I wonder if History Channel had her and Newt Gingrich in the building at the same time?

B+

[Reply #1 on:]

I, Robot

Still good 2nd time round. Yeah, it's old, but it killed an hour or two. Plus its about robots, which is also cool.

B

[Reply #2 on:]

I finally saw Spidey 3 today and after everyone telling me how lame it was and how there was too much lovey dover stuff I have to say I loved it....awesome all the way through....

There was a lot of emotional stuff in there but it didn't overpower the fighting/action scenes....

Loved emo Spidey too heh how funny was it when he flicks his hair and gives everyone evils....classic

All the loose ends tied up and I loved how events from the first 2 movies paid off in this one, and you got to see events that happened in the first but weren't shown until now....reminded me of Fry being frozen in Futurama....coolness....!

I have a couple of nitpicks though,when the symbiote first takes over Peter (when he's in bed) presumably he is naked....?
Why/how does the symbiote become a whole other suit, in which later Peter tosses up between the 2, then locks it away (only to bring it back out later on)

Did I miss something....? Was Peter wearing the original Spidey suit when the Symbiote attached itself to him....?
I didn't think he was but I've been wrong before....great movie anyway....!

[Reply #3 on:]

Nix is a prophet, I do hate the thing you love Gleno! 

[Reply #4 on:]

So now that Pirates 3 is out of the way, what's the next big release?

I'm looking forward to Transformers, Die Hard 4, and (yes,  I'm not ashamed of this) Harry Potter 5.

Anybody else got anything they're waiting for in particular?

[Reply #5 on:]

dear owen wilson,

i just saw behind enemy lines and it was like getting five root canals at once while dwayne "the rock" johnson uses my crotch as a punching bag. the movie was extremely enlightening, i will give it credit: i did know that you had a nose that has sneezes that break the sound barrier, but more importantly, i didn't know that:

1. owen wilson could be a pissy moany little bitch and whine about how "they shot my pilot" so much. the pilot was the only character in the movie who had any potential, so of course he got killed at the first possibility.

2. three helicopters full of marines can sit in the sky, not moving, and kill the entire serbian army, and only three or four marines will get hurt and they won't be hurt by bullets, but they will be wounded by excess testosterone and being too patriotic.

3. bosnian resistance fighters will loudly proclaim their love for coca-cola and elvis, in english, for the convenience of one english-speaking guy around them.

4. you can defeat "bouncing betty" mines by running really fast. the sharpnel will not do anything except maybe char you slightly or give you a tiny cut. too bad they never told all those guys who were killed by them in all those wars that.

5. i hate you and hope that you get hit by the oscar meyer weinermobile.

6. if you don't get hit by the weinermobile then stick to comedy movies and don't try to move to genres that you have no business being in.

in conclusion, your movie sucks and i would rather have stayed in the armpit of the world (new jersey) than ride that stupid plane that showed your stupid movie.

if you didn't read all those words, then just read this: behind enemy lines is a crappy movie and it is so bad that i can't give it a score. it is like looking into the face of god and seeing him laughing and going "give it up, you are pathetic".

[Reply #6 on:]

 

Originally posted by totalnerduk:
Anybody else got anything they're waiting for in particular?

You're not very good at this whole "finding existing threads" thing, are you?

[Reply #7 on:]

Saw pirates three.

Pretty fun flick, littered with MoreOfTheSame nutty Jack Sparrow humour which, to me, is becoming slightly formulaic now that the whole thing's been done a few times before. Although his hallucination scenes added a fresh slant to the comedic element.
I'd call this movie over-long, something that normally doesn't bother me that much except that it tends to retread old territory all over again, with the characters winding up in the same places and situations, reliving the same conflicts, and all of it drawn out as if to accommodate the soundtrack's length rather than the fairly simplistic story. Said story sees the big bad monster from DMC reduced to a simpering lovesick loser, and involves a fifty-foot-tall deus ex machina in the form of a sea goddess that seemed a tacked-on afterthought.
But despite all that, you can't not enjoy it.

[Reply #8 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nixorbo:

Hmm, haven't actually seen anything lately ...

Star wars: The Legacy Revealed

Too bad it was a rehash of Star Trek's 25th anniversity program from 15 years ago.  They went into the 'science' of warp drive, transporters, phasers, etc.

So Star Wars has the 'science' of Death Stars, Light Sabers, Hyperdrive, blasters and Darth Vader.

I found it revisisted and boring.

[Reply #9 on:]

Six string Samurai

Show spoiler

YOU DO NOT LET A 10-YEAR OLD KILL THE MAJOR VILLAIN WITH A SQUEEZE BOTTLE!

Other than that, pretty much awesome campyness.

C+

[Reply #10 on:]

@Ralph: I think you're thinking of the tech of Star Wars special that they showed before the Legacy Revealed.  This one was about how Lucas ripped off several classical sources and how Star Wars was modern folklore.

[Reply #11 on:]

@bored_idiot. I quite like owen wilson, I guess he should stick to comedy, but still, he's cool.

[Reply #12 on:]

 

Originally posted by HookerBot 5000:
@bored_idiot. I quite like owen wilson, I guess he should stick to comedy, but still, he's cool.

well, i like him too, it's just his one action movie (wait, he was in armageddon, which also sucked) was so terrible that the government should issue an ultimatum to him forcing him to stay in comedy.

[Reply #13 on:]

What, no mention of The Worst Sniper of All Time?

[Reply #14 on:]

Haha B_I, fair enough. I guess I havent seen the film so I cant really comment and all that funky jazz 

[Reply #15 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nixorbo:
What, no mention of The Worst Sniper of All Time?

ah, yeah. a footnote:

also, there's this sniper mercenary guy who's russian or german or something so he's twice as evil is chasing after owen wilson with this serbian who is one-dimensional and he's built up to be this badass but misses every single shot he fires in the movie and they basically go on this road trip looking for owen wilson and missing him and eventually the retarded serb steps on a mine and is all "hey bro, help me" and the russian or whatever just goes away and the serb is like "durr i dont get it how is this helping me" and soon he dies and God please make it end.

[Reply #16 on:]

 

Originally posted by totalnerduk:
So now that Pirates 3 is out of the way, what's the next big release?

I'm looking forward to Transformers, Die Hard 4, and (yes,  I'm not ashamed of this) Harry Potter 5.

Anybody else got anything they're waiting for in particular?

I'm waiting for Oceans 13. I hope it's as good as Oceans 11.

[Reply #17 on:]

Tideland

White trash movie for white trash. It wasn't a normal movie but it went on for way too long at the end like all other Terry Gilliam movies. D+

[Reply #18 on:]

The Contract
Morgan Freeman and John Cusack, on a hiking trip with his son, Cusack pulls Freeman and a US Marshall out of the river after their car crashed, the Marshall tells him to take Freeman to the cops, but oh noes! Freeman is an assassin and his assassin buddies are coming to rescue him!

Meh, my dad liked it, I thought it was only ok, bit predictable, one of the assassin guys has the worst shot in the world, and there was a hilarious bit where some expendable hiker gets shot and his friend is like "Meh! To hell with him, I've got John friggin Cusack now!" 

C-

[Reply #19 on:]

I took time to finally watch Metropolis

This is most likely my favorite silent movie of all time now. This movie feels very modern with the style it's shot. My favorite part about Metropolis is that it feels like an epic but not as long.

Pros:
- It's beautifully shot.
- The amount of extras in this film make it a more epic experience.
- The acting is amazing.
Cons:
There are no real cons except if you the non-Kino version it's not the greatest quality (also the footage that was scrambled isn't put together right) and if you have a short attention span it may be hard to watch it all in one sitting.

A +

[Reply #20 on:]

Tekken: The anime version

Based on the game series yadda yadda.
Too short and I DIDNT LIKE THE WAY THEY MADE LEE CHAOLAN TO BE A SNIVELLING SUCKY-UP person
Because he's not. Entirely the opposite of course.
I enjoyed it, to an extent, but I would have liked to have seen more, though it explained some of the relationships between Kazuya and Jun. Then again, when it was done, Namco were only onto about Tekken, oh God, uhm...Tekken 2/3 ish, if that, therefore there were none of the new developments that I, as a more modern gamer of the series, was aware of.

Lei portrayal was good, I enjoyed him, and I'm glad to see Anna got eaten by Alex the dinosaur (that'll teach her to have sex with Lee-GRR), though I wish Nina had gone that way too, but then again, if Nina had gotten killed, there would have been no Steve Fox.

Ach, I'm rambling. Anyway, good fight sequences, fairly good story, touching, but not much Hwoarang. 

C+

[Reply #21 on:]

Knocked Up
Are you guys not seeing this movie because it doesn't have a "3" in the title? Nerds!
B+

[Reply #22 on:]

I seen the trailer of this and I thought what the **** this movie about?

Wedding Daze , I like this movie

Jason Biggs is gorgeous


And Isla Fisher is beautiful.


This movie has some really laughs especially from the two main characters parents.

[Reply #23 on:]

Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End

I have to agree with SJM, I was really looking forward to seeing the Kraken again. But not lying dead on a beach. I'll miss you Krakey! 

I had fun watching it, the battle scenes were pretty nifty but man oh man did the whole Calypso thing come out of nowhere. Maybe it was hinted at in the last movie, I can't remember, but at no point was I given the impression that she was a MAGICAL GOD OF CRABS BOUND TO HUMAN FORM BY A MYSTICAL PIRATE ENCHANTMENT. 

Also I think Calypso was the name of an ice cream I used to like, so that was definitely an unwanted distraction. 

A couple of the jokes were downright awful,  but that bit at the end with "You may throw my hat to the crew, Mr Gibbs!" "Yes sir!" *throws it* "Alright, now go and get it." was worth it. And Geoffrey Rush is still the best pirate in the movie. He's what they call a pirate's pirate. (by other pirates)

B+

[Reply #24 on:]

I saw Children Of Men recently.
Best movie I've seen this year.
A+

[Reply #25 on:]

mine is.... pirates of the carrabean 3: at worlds end! love it!

[Reply #26 on:]

Avalon

I'd wanted to see this movie for a long time out of sheer curiosity. As a fan of Ghost in the Shell, among other examples of Mamoru Oshii's directorial work, I was eager to see how the live-action Avalon turned out.
It's a Polish movie, which I hadn't realized before because I didn't do my homework. A Japanese directed Polish film.
Stylistically this does resemble Oshii's anime work - following a familiar pattern of slow-paced exposition in silence, punctuated by very brief scenes of action. His visual style is recognizable with long dragging periods of beautiful vistas in which nothing significant happens.
The movie feels very much like GITS, with a distant aloof female protagonist pursuing the ghost of a conspiracy through a virtual reality world, the interface of which is familiar to anyone who's watched GITS. In fact, the whole thing is a little bit too much like Ghost in the Shell to really justify having made Avalon in the first place. I had an overriding feeling of having seen it all before, and near the end of the film when 'Ash' has to fight a giant robotic tank inside an abandoned warehouse (in a scene directly descended from the similar climax of GITS) I groaned in dismay.
It's nice for a director to have his own recognisable style, but that shouldn't extend to a rehashing of all the same old visual and moral elements. I'm sick of seeing Oshii's damn Basset Hounds and listening to the same hackneyed old existentialist philosophies. It's time he stepped up and followed his pointed contemplations beyond their current stagnant pool.

Kenji Kawai's music was lovely as always though.

[Reply #27 on:]

It's been a kinda shitty day, except for taking a ride from my home to Estes Park on my Harley.  When I got back, I was wiped out and watched not one but two of the shittiest movies ever made (on TV).  Talladaga Nights and Norbert.  Both were huge steaming piles of drek.  I should have put the time to better use by sleeping.

At least Ghost Rider comes out on DVD next week...

[Reply #28 on:]

@Josh, sort of: I'm attempting to read Children of Men-I wanted to see it at the pics, but its tough getting into the story at the moment.

[Reply #29 on:]

Ghost Rider was pants Ralph (so much that I didn't bother to download it), and Talladega Nights rawks!

[Reply #30 on:]

Fazey, I suggests that you take a page out of my wife's book and move away from Great Britain.  Obviously you have some major brain injury to even consider Talladaga Nights anything but pure crap and you need medical (and mental) help now.

[Reply #31 on:]

You're in the minority, not me!   

"Oh no, he's in his underwear again..."

[Reply #32 on:]

ghost rider sucked and since they copyrighted that name we can't make a movie about ghost riding now. thanks a lot, nicholas cage. i bet e-40 is reeaal happy right now.

[Reply #33 on:]

@Faze: I'm guessing he saw some non theatrical version that had a bunch of crap added. They did the same thing with the Anchorman DVD.

[Reply #34 on:]

@Bored Idiot: Well, there's still "Ghost Dressager", "Ghost Jouster" and "Ghost Haute Écolier" if you feel the need to make a supernatural flick with equestrian tie-ins.

[Reply #35 on:]

Knocked Up
Fucking hilarious. Everyone go see it.
A-

[Reply #36 on:]

Pirates 3

I don't care what anybody says, I had fun watching it.  Also, I didn't pay, but that's a whole other story.

UNDEAD MONKEY CANNONBALL cancels out DEATH BY JAPANESE TENTACLE RAPE

B+

[Reply #37 on:]

Superman Returns.

Flucking sweet.
I'm not even a fan of Superman, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Love that they used all the old music from the Christopher Reeves movies...
Had an inspiring epic quality to it, and all the Messianic overtones were handled with aplomb.

[Reply #38 on:]

 

Originally posted by Pikka Bird:
@Bored Idiot: Well, there's still "Ghost Dressager", "Ghost Jouster" and "Ghost Haute Écolier" if you feel the need to make a supernatural flick with equestrian tie-ins.

well none of those really lend themselves to this kind of ghostriding:

[Reply #39 on:]

Good 'ole self-assured messianic overtones...

Poor Superman. His movie was just a little boring. Is it possible that I can only be entertained by a super-hero movie if it has Batman in it?

Probably!