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Author Topic: Favorite Brannigan-ism?  (Read 3950 times)
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The Listmaker
Urban Legend
« Reply #80 on: 06-13-2004 12:32 »
« Last Edit on: 06-13-2004 12:32 »

my reaction on this  Tread (also ontopic   wink )

Zapp: "You disgust me! Go on." (KGKUAN)

TOTP, Zoidy do the apologise dance:


« Reply #81 on: 06-18-2004 00:40 »

What about when he's trying to be smooth, but he mispronounces everything?  The first time I heard cham-paggen I laughed until milk squirted out of my nose, no lie.

In A Flight to Remember, when Zapp is giving his speech at the beginning, he mispronounces adieu (says it like aduh).  That might be B. West's brilliance, but either way, great stuff.

Leela: *sees Zapp coming, kisses Fry*
Zapp: Leela, this may be a bad time, but...

And I love that in Love's Labors, it's April 13th.  Because that's my birthday.  So whenever people ask me when I was born, I always say April 13th.... point-two!

« Reply #82 on: 06-18-2004 05:07 »

Hey, Zoidy, now I have new friends too!

Every line's a favourite but I think this one of Zap's deserves a mensh... "She's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro".

Starship Captain
« Reply #83 on: 06-18-2004 05:29 »
« Last Edit on: 06-18-2004 05:29 »

Zapp: remeber kif the quickest way to a women's bed is through her parents, sleep with them and your in.
Kif: ill try sir, im just a little nervous about meeting her family
Zapp: thats natural,afterall your meek and uninteresting, until now you've gotten by on my left over charisma, scrounging off it like a tiny charisma parasite.
Kif: i just hope they like me
Zapp: and why wouldn't they,yes yes i know, tiny, meek, uninteresting, spare me your tedious life story kif. but above all have fun.

and i cant believ no-one has said

Zapp: Discipline. and that means a well made bed. You'll practice till you can make it in your sleep.
Fry: you mean when im sleeping in it?
Zapp: you wont have time for sleeping soldier, not with all the bed-making you'll be doing.

« Reply #84 on: 09-05-2006 17:10 »
« Last Edit on: 09-05-2006 17:10 »

Zapp: Whoopsy daisy! (After blowing up the new DOOP HQ)
Zapp: You must've smoked some bad granola. (From The Problems with Popplers)
Kif: Sir, I... I don't think that's wise.
Zapp: Kiiiif... if there's one thing I don't need, it's your "I don't think that's wise" attitude!
Zapp: Oh, I'm sorry.... you're crying, like a WOMAN!
Zapp: We need rest! The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy, and bruised...


Delivery Boy
« Reply #85 on: 09-06-2006 15:02 »
« Last Edit on: 09-06-2006 15:02 »

what are you,gay?

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #86 on: 09-06-2006 15:12 »

Originally posted by evilfry:
what are you,gay?

I was just about to post that! It's my favourite too

« Reply #87 on: 09-06-2006 17:09 »
« Last Edit on: 09-06-2006 17:09 »

Dont know if this ones already up here:

(a Taste of freedom):
Brann: Stand by to take the blame, Kif! Steady, Steady (as the Decapodian ship snips the nimbus in half)

(Amazon women in the mood):
Femputer: I sentence you to death!
Brann : (gasp)  eek
Femputer: By snu-snu
Brann, fry: Woo-Hoo!  flirt

Bending Unit
« Reply #88 on: 09-07-2006 04:24 »

My fave: "You win again gravity!"

Or: "This whole sector is uncharted"
Kif: "No its not, you lost the chart"

Starship Captain
« Reply #89 on: 09-08-2006 15:47 »

This has certainly been said before, but...

Rock crushes scissors...but paper covers rock...and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum.

« Reply #90 on: 09-09-2006 07:28 »

Singing Wind: Fehk! I am Singing Wind, chief of the Martian tribe.

Zapp: Take me to your leader.

Singing Wind: moving along...

Bending Unit
« Reply #91 on: 09-09-2006 11:36 »

...our arch enemy the neutral planet
Starship Captain
« Reply #92 on: 09-09-2006 13:35 »

"Hugh man" now theres a name I can trust.

You want the rest of the champagen?
Tim B

Bending Unit
« Reply #93 on: 09-13-2006 13:57 »

"That you man fills me with hope.  And other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.

Bending Unit
« Reply #94 on: 09-18-2006 10:28 »

I can't remember what episode that this is from but it is one of my favourites zapp walks into kifs room where he is crying and he says 'kif i'll be needing an attendant to the bathroom.. oh your crying like a woman' lol

« Reply #95 on: 09-18-2006 22:31 »

Raise the White Flag of war
my man-wich!

Starship Captain
« Reply #96 on: 09-19-2006 05:17 »

"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the domino's will fall like a house of cards....checkmate."
Tim B

Bending Unit
« Reply #97 on: 09-19-2006 15:42 »
« Last Edit on: 09-19-2006 15:42 »

"Some of you are white, some of you are black.  You're brown.  And you're silver.  But I don't care if your skin's red, tan or chinese."

"Stop exploding you cowards!"

"Kif, old friend, I don't know which disgusts me more: Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing."
Bending Unit

« Reply #98 on: 09-19-2006 16:59 »
« Last Edit on: 09-19-2006 16:59 »

omgomgomg I havn't laughed that hard in ages... Just read through them all.

Add to the List...

"Come on Kif, teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on the ball..."

And one of the best (which I think you guys missed out?!)

ZAP: "I want you to be able to make your bed in your sleep"

FRY: "Uh.. you mean while we're sleeping in it?"

ZAP: "You wont have time for sleeping! Not with all that bed-making you'll be doing..."

haha classic...

(first post!   big grin )
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #99 on: 09-19-2006 23:32 »

Yay! Welcome to PEEL!
Now we need a drink to celebrate!
Shampagin?  flirt
Bending Unit

« Reply #100 on: 09-20-2006 13:07 »

haha :P



Zapp: You're the only woman who ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you...
Zapp: I mean physically!

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #101 on: 09-20-2006 14:34 »

My favourite.

"Your a man. Your a man's man. Your a man's man's man.
Tim B

Bending Unit
« Reply #102 on: 09-20-2006 15:20 »
« Last Edit on: 09-20-2006 15:20 »

I like your style, Fry. You remind me of a young me. Not much younger, mind you. Perhaps even a couple of years older.


Zapp:  Stardate, Uhhhhhhhh.....
Kif(exasperated) April 13th.
Zapp:  April 13th....point two.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #103 on: 09-21-2006 21:39 »

Kif: "The holoshed is on the fritz again the holograms became real."

Zapp: "Damn, last time that happened I got slapped with three paternity suits."

Then five minutes later....

Zapp: "After all that I could use some relaxation, I'll be in the holoshed."

And of coarse.....

Zapp: "A brilliant move right out of Tsun Zu's classic text "The Art of War" or my own masterwork "Zapp Brannigan' Big Book of War".


« Reply #104 on: 09-22-2006 21:37 »

"She's built like a stakehouse but she handles like a bistro."

Always fun to quote when driving. Everytime you go driving. With the same person(s). To the point where they wait in dreaded anticipation.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
« Reply #105 on: 09-23-2006 09:38 »

I can see your friends beating you to death with a steering wheel  laff but at least you'll die knowing that you did a job and did it well.  tongue

« Reply #106 on: 09-25-2006 23:03 »

Zapp: Welcome to my humble chamber, or as I call it, the Love-nasium.  Cham-pag-en?

Zapp: Do you want the rest of the cham-pag-en?
Leela: No.  And it's pronounced champagne.
Zapp: OH GOD NO!!! *cries*

Billy West is a genius!


Bending Unit
« Reply #107 on: 09-28-2006 21:18 »

Originally posted by Neptunian:

Billy West is a genius!

SILENCE!!! Agreed.


Starship Captain
« Reply #108 on: 10-11-2006 21:54 »

all that neutral stuff
whenever he mispronounces french words
when he's making a deal about the number of double dates
"come back when it's a catastrophe"
"kif, i see your toilet is set on stun, not kill"
(i'm not sure if the quotes are exactly right but you get the idea)

« Reply #109 on: 10-20-2006 03:57 »

"what are you, gay?" the first time i saw Amazon Women in the Mood was on DVD, and i laughed so hard i had to rewind to catch the next scene.

also, anything he said to Leela in War is the H-Word.
Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #110 on: 10-20-2006 08:12 »

the funniest thing he said was on problem with popplers

Zapp: why'd you open your bonghole, you smelly hippie?
hippie: (i don't remember what the hippie said)
Zapp: you must have smoked some bad granola (or however its spelt lol)

Bending Unit
« Reply #111 on: 10-22-2006 13:03 »

Not sure if this is really a branagan-ism or not:

But I just love the reading of Bender's top ten most used words-


Liquid Emperor
« Reply #112 on: 10-22-2006 14:05 »

"Captains log, stargate, ahhhh"
"Ugh, April 13th" (Kif)
"April 13th. Point 2"

I love that bit
Bending Unit
« Reply #113 on: 10-22-2006 19:04 »

Zapp is the funniest character; he could read out of the phonebook and make me laugh.  Some of the funniest ones are just set-ups for Kif.  I really love the whole Brannigan's Law bit:

Zapp: The Democratic Order Of Planets prohibits interfering with undeveloped worlds. It's a little rule known as "Brannigan's Law".
Leela: But people already interfered. That planet was mined completely hollow.
Zapp: Yes, by a Democratic Order Of Planets mining crew.
Leela: This doesn't make any sense.
Zapp: I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.
Zapp: I'm facing a formidable female adversary, Kif. Suggestions?
Kif: I fail to see any problem, sir. You already imprisoned her under directive B-10.8-1.
Zapp: You mean Brannigan's Law?
Kif: Right, that law.
Zapp: Which one?
[Kif sighs.]
Kif: Brannigan's Law.
« Reply #114 on: 11-02-2006 15:22 »

My favorite is w/o a doubt:

Brannigan:"Leela, If things don't work out with the pip-squeak here, I just want you to know that I'll be there to score you on the rebound".


« Reply #115 on: 11-02-2006 22:54 »

Some favorites that I don't think have seen mention....

"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you."

"So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors." 
(made funny by the fact that Kif is right beside him...holding the scissors)      

“Kif, come here and hold up the flag. (sotto voce) And wave it a little, for God's sakes.”
(It’s the delivery that makes this one absolutely priceless.  All hail Billy West!)

"Baby, wait!  You didn't show me your surprise!"

(This one HAS been mentioned, but it's a BIG favorite of mine) "Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's whatever you were talking about for you."

"Let's see how friendly you get sharing a PRISON CELL!"  (Ah, cluelessness, thy name is Zapp.)

"You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?" (His grasp of relative orangutan comeliness slays me...)

"I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about."

(sniffs) "Smells like a jockstrap."  (and the cut scene where he describes the precise TYPE of jockstrap)

"Leela, my precious rock dove!"
(that one's not falling-down funny or anything, but I'm just kind of tickled that Zapp actually got something slightly right...see, a rock dove is another name for a pigeon, and pigeons are grey, and Leela was wearing a grey dress, and....uh....nevermind. I'll just be quiet now, and go geek to myself in the corner here....)

(And what is perhaps my top favorite of all my favorites...)
"Leela! How could you? Our love has had to endure your constant hatred, and now this?! Stop testing our love!"

Writer unit32

« Reply #116 on: 11-03-2006 14:20 »

[Blows up Doop Headquarters]

« Reply #117 on: 11-05-2006 04:55 »

Whenever he is about to give Kif a ridiculous order...."Kif!....".  Whatever it is, you just feel sorry for Kif. 

« Reply #118 on: 11-22-2006 17:05 »

mine is.... you win again gravity!

Delivery Boy
« Reply #119 on: 12-10-2006 20:57 »

The greatest way to victory is surprise. SURPRISE! *pushes button*
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