Favorite Brannigan-ism?

[:]

mine is basically him singing his version of "Lola" in Amazon Women in the Mood.

[#1 :]

"I think the most erotic part of a woman is the..."

Gets picked up by the Amazonian.

[#2 :]

Man, that rendition of Lola plays whenever I get email. So I hear it a LOT. Kif says it, not Zapp.. But the fact that he makes it known that he has 'sexlexia' cracks me up.
Let's try that again, but a little lower and lots softer.

[#3 :]

Zapp: "Rock crushes scissors! But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum."
Kif: *sigh*
Zapp: "Search them for paper! And ... bring me a rock!"
Kif: "Why?"

[#4 :]

"How very neutral of you"

"I've never been so glad to be beaten up by a woman"

[#5 :]

leela: you know zapp at first i thought you were a big pompous bufoon, but then i realised inside that bufoon was a pitiful child, but ourside that child was a big pompous bufoon (or summat to that effect)
Zapp: and which one rocked your world.

Zapp: Leela, you forgot one thing. Rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and scissors cut paper! Kif, we have a conundrum! Bring me a rock... and search them for paper.

Zapp: remeber kif the quickest way to a women's bed is through her parents, sleep with them and your in.
Kif: ill try sir, im just a little nervous about meeting her family
Zapp: thats natural,afterall your meek and uninteresting, until now you've gotten by on my left over charisma, scrounging off it like a tiny charisma parasite.
Kif: i just hope they like me
Zapp: and why wouldn't they,yes yes i know, tiny, meek, uninteresting, spare me your tedious life story kif. but above all have fun.

Zapp: ah, so crawling back to the zapper like a bird on its belly, delicious.

Zapp: please, you give me too little credit

[#6 :]

(Zapp talking to Kif in the Nimbus lounge)

Zapp: And thats why you'll never make Captain Kif.

[#7 :]

Zapp:Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant. So Kif, pray explain. And don't spare the dirty words where appropriate.
Kif: It's quite simple, really. When one of my species experiences deep feelings of love we enter a so called "receptive" state.
Zapp: You disgust me! Go on.
Makes me laugh every time.

[#8 :]

"Prepare to take the blame... steady... steady...
NOW!"

"Here's a route with some chest hair"

"As you all know, the key to victory is the element of suprise....... SUPRISE!!!!"

[#9 :]

From Brannigan Begin Again:

"Plus it was mainly Kif's fault."

HAHAHAHA what a loser.

[#10 :]

"Should she instate any sort of bare bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place"
Same Episode

[#11 :]

Dammit, you guys took all the GOOD ones! The one from WTBR is my favorite.

[#12 :]

"Here's to us poor scmho's working for the man. Even if he is a very hot, sexy, female man."

Brannigan Begin Again

[#13 :]

 

Originally posted by HawkingHole4001:
Dammit, you guys took all the GOOD ones! The one from WTBR is my favorite.

which one? there are so many

[#14 :]

*When making his exit speech from the courtroom after being relieved of duty* - "Kif, get over here and hold up the flag.  And for god's sake, wave it a little"

Heh.

[#15 :]

Have the boy lay out ny formal shorts.

[#16 :]

Zapp: Kif, I'll be heading to the mens room and I need an attendant - Oh, I'm sorry, you're crying like a woman. It's alright, I've always thought of myself as a father figure to some of my more pathetic men. Kif Old Friend, let's rap.
Kif: Well, I'm in love with this girl...
Zapp: (Laughing loudly) Oh, that's rich. (Solemn) Go on.
Kif: I met her a year ago, when we were escaping from that cruise ship you piloted directly into a Black Hole.
Zapp: Yes, it was in all the papers.
Amy: Call me!
Kif: (Nervous muttering) (Exit flashback)
Zapp: Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Mmm-hhmm, Ah-huh -
Kif: I've finished talking.
Zapp: Belay that remark!!!

Zapp: You win again, gravity!

[#17 :]

"Let me ask you a question Leela. Does the company that makes your bra make a girdle as well? I only ask because a friend of mine..."

[#18 :]

If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate.

[#19 :]

Stop exploding you cowards!

[#20 :]

The point of checkers is to not let the enemy see your pieces.  Once you've done that, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.  Checkmate!

Something along those lines.

[#21 :]

Shall I corret your quote in a flurry of snobbery? I shall.

"If we hit this bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

You've actually mashed two together. The other one:

"In the game of chess, you must never let your opponent see your pieces."

Ha. Bow down to my quote Nazi efficiency.

[#22 :]

This is a funny deleted scene from 'Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch':
Zapp: Give it to me straight Doctor, am I going to make it?
Doctor: You'll be OK.
Zapp: I mean with Leela!
Doctor: Damnit Zapp, I'm a Doctor, not a miracle worker!

Another good deleted scene:
Grand Midwife: I will now examine the pregnant one! (Appears to be putting her hands on Kif, then suddenly puts her hands on Zapps stomach) Why did you wait so long?
(Zapp shakes his head and points to Kif)

[#23 :]

*bows down to SlackJawedMoron*

Wait, what the hell am I doing?

That was a rotten trick...  Rotten I tell ya!

Anyways, M0le, I had totally forgotten that scene, I love it when Zoidberg gets all angry and/or passionate.

[#24 :]

the best way to a girl's bed is through her parents; have sex with them, and you're in.

just a correction, someone said it before. also;

could you say it a little more, sexfully?

the line about the "craving" setting in. teehee.

and the one in BBA when he arrives at PE and says "just a broken down hobo who's hit rock bottom...and his commanding officer" (that's probably wrong.)

bed time.

[#25 :]

 

Originally posted by boxie:
If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... checkmate.

Excellent. That's my favourite one as well. They didn't write 'em like that anymore in later seasons!

[#26 :]

"I'm the man with no name...Zapp Brannigan!"

[#27 :]

I think we can all agree that anytime Zapp is on screen or opens his mouth it is hillarious.

"That's a route for school girls... This is a route with some chest hair on it!"

[#28 :]

No, I think he had quite a few weak points in his career. KGKUAN and 300BB, for example.

[#29 :]

'That young man fills me with hope, and some other emotions that are strange and confusing.'

'Here's to the poor schmoes working for the man, even is she is a hot sexy female man.'

the list goes on.

[#30 :]

I can't believe no one's said this already.

These are great of course, but my all time favorite has to be:

"Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love...
hard and fast."

[#31 :]

That reminds me of...

"...and sooner or later you'll go crawling back to the Zapper for some more sweet, sweet candy. Bam."

Ha ha that line makes me puke every time, but I still love it a lot

[#32 :]

"Thats whatever you were talking about for you"
-War is the H-Word

Whenever he say anything about the medals he "won".

[#33 :]

Zapp: You can take away a man's title and his uniform, but you can never take away his honour or his integrity.
Plus it was mostly Kif's fault!

Zapp: One day a man has everything. The next day he blows up a four hundred billion dollar space station. And the next day he has nothing. It makes you think.
Zapp: (Bored) No it doesn't.

[#34 :]

Zapp:  "I am the man with no name . . . My name is Zapp Brannigan"

(this is my first post EVER)

[#35 :]

Welcome! Drop pants for PEEL initiation ceremony.

[#36 :]

Hi Undertow976!
Have a good time here   

[#37 :]

"Sooo beautiful, yet so neutral"

 "Call me cocky, but if there's an alien out there I can't kill I haven't met him and killed him yet."

[#38 :]

"Come back when it's a catastrophe."

[#39 :]

Here's my book of pickup lines. Say as many of them as you can as fast as you can.

(something like that)