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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    General Futurama Forum Category    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    "And in This Corner..." ...typed and ready to go. « previous next »
: "And in This Corner..." ...typed and ready to go.  (Read 812 times)
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THM

Bending Unit
***
« : 03-30-2004 14:36 »


This is just a quick announcement to say that I've finished typing my fic, "And in This Corner..." I'm looking for beta-readers. Any takers? Venus, I'm looking in your direction...  :)
newhook_1

Urban Legend
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« #1 : 03-30-2004 15:56 »
« : 04-03-2004 22:00 »

Sure, I'll read it. Send it to me at Superratbombs@hotmail.com
zoidyzoid

Professor
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« #2 : 03-30-2004 18:55 »

I can't offer much creative input, but I'd be happy to proofread for you. My email is in my profile  :)
Venus

Urban Legend
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« #3 : 03-30-2004 22:34 »

Oh oh! Me! Venus'll do it!
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« #4 : 03-31-2004 00:35 »

E-Mail me, I'll pour over it.
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« #5 : 03-31-2004 10:13 »

I'm always up for a new fanfic. If you're willing, e-mail me.
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« #6 : 03-31-2004 10:18 »

If you need yet another volunteer, I'll give it a shot.  Send it to the email in my profile.
THM

Bending Unit
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« #7 : 03-31-2004 15:30 »

Cool. Gimme a couple of days, and I'll get my act together.
THM

Bending Unit
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« #8 : 04-03-2004 17:50 »


OK; newhook_1, Venus, Boingo, Space Case, Zoidyzoid, Nurdbot, the fic should be in your inboxes now. Enjoy!
zoidyzoid

Professor
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« #9 : 04-04-2004 04:20 »
« : 04-04-2004 04:20 »

   
Quote
Originally posted by THM:
OK; newhook_1, Venus, Boingo, Space Case, Zoidyzoid, Nurdbot, the fic should be in your inboxes now. Enjoy!

I did    :D

Overall it's really good, and there are a couple of parts I particularly liked (especially some of the things Fry said about Zoidberg    :laff: ). I do have some constructive critisisms though- I'd like to send you an email giving some specific suggestions, and pointing out a few spelling and grammar errors. I won't write it straight away, but hopefully within a day or two. Anyway, here are a couple of things that I reckon need work.

Please note: the next part of this post may seem a bit negative, but please don't misconstrue- I genuinely like your piece of writing, these are just some suggestions to make it even better    :)

I think the style you wrote Fry's sections in is a bit... overdone, with too much casual slang, particularly all the words ending in "n'" (actually, too many apostrophies altogether), which makes him sound a bit too rough or dumb or something, and out of character. Also, the start of Leela's first section seems a bit over-angry about the little details, and personally I think it would be better without the part in the present tense with Leela flying the ship.

If it's OK with you I'd love to put up the finished work at my site    :D
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #10 : 04-04-2004 16:19 »

Thanks for the help, zoidyzoid. I take it you'll answer the questions I included with the fic in the message?
zoidyzoid

Professor
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« #11 : 04-04-2004 18:54 »

Yep, I've just sent the email.
THM

Bending Unit
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« #12 : 04-08-2004 14:57 »


Spacecase, did you get the fic?
Venus

Urban Legend
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« #13 : 04-08-2004 15:02 »

THM did you get my email? I just wanted to make sure cause i have had trouble emailing things to you in the past.
newhook_1

Urban Legend
***
« #14 : 04-08-2004 16:35 »

Did you get my email, too?
ActionLaPointe

Starship Captain
****
« #15 : 04-08-2004 20:23 »

send it to actionlapointe@hotmail.com if u want me to read it, cause ide probably like reading it myself
DrJohnZ

Starship Captain
****
« #16 : 04-08-2004 21:18 »

hey me too please, unless u have it on a web-site already, then link us up   :D
ooy

Professor
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« #17 : 04-09-2004 01:28 »

i'll be glad to put it up on my website i need some fanfics, fast, anyone!
please! send your fanfics to futuramaooy@hotmail.com!
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #18 : 04-09-2004 14:44 »

Newhook_1, Venus, yes; I did get your emails, and thank you for your suggestions. I'm already at work on making the revisions. I'll probably send it out again for another read-through when they're done, so for everyone that've expressed interest interest since I sent out the first version, hold on, and you'll probably get a chance soon.
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« #19 : 04-09-2004 15:25 »

Cool.  I really enjoyed the first draft.  I have a few thoughts, but I haven't had time to put them in an email.  I think now I'm gonna hold off until I get your revisions.
zoidyzoid

Professor
*
« #20 : 04-10-2004 01:13 »

Just checking, you got my email too, yeah?
Also, please send me the next version when you've finished it  :)
THM

Bending Unit
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« #21 : 04-27-2004 14:41 »


Okay, I'm back from vacation. I'll send the revised edition out fairly soon.
THM

Bending Unit
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« #22 : 06-20-2004 10:18 »


It's been...youch, far too long since I posted to this thread. The new version of "And in This Corner..." is ready to go, and I have sent it out. So everyone that reviewed it the first time, and those that've volunteered since then, it should be in your inboxes now. If it isn't, don't hesitate to send me a message.

Thanks again!
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« #23 : 06-20-2004 13:08 »

I wondered what it was. I'll read it tommorow, I'll have time. Between PEEL Fiction and FH.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #24 : 06-20-2004 15:56 »

'ppreciate it, man. Every little bit helps! ^_^
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #25 : 06-21-2004 00:26 »

You can send one my way...
bender+fry

Professor
*
« #26 : 06-21-2004 19:06 »

And one here...
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #27 : 06-22-2004 16:29 »


Kryten, bender&fry, it's on its way. Enjoy!

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to draw the line there - otherwise, I'll be swamped with good criticism!     :D
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« #28 : 06-22-2004 18:44 »

Sounds like fun, I like reading fan fic. But there's always so much that I never read all the ones I want to  :( . I must be depressed today.
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« #29 : 06-23-2004 14:09 »

I can't really think of any changes I'd make.
gottalovebender

Bending Unit
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« #30 : 06-23-2004 14:35 »

these reviews are really making me curious, if you could possibly maybe send the fic to me at kayequeen182@aol.com please I will read and review.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #31 : 06-23-2004 15:26 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
I can't really think of any changes I'd make.

Kryten, that's the best news I've heard all day! Thanks!

  :)
Sm@ Cpt. Libido

Bending Unit
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« #32 : 06-24-2004 01:00 »
« : 06-24-2004 01:00 »

Do you think you could send one my way! You know just for hahas! I don't have to review it if you are already swamped with, well, reviews!
My email is in my profile!
bender+fry

Professor
*
« #33 : 06-24-2004 05:20 »
« : 06-24-2004 05:20 »

Sorry, but I don't think I got it. If kevinkirbyman@yahoo.com didn't work, try my hotmail account, benderfry@hotmail.com.

EDIT: I'm leaving for summer vacation tommorow, which will be the middle of the day PEEL time, so I might not be able to review it for a while, but will jump at the first chance that I get.
THM

Bending Unit
***
« #34 : 07-10-2004 17:42 »


I'm planning to send the "And In..." to various fan sites fairly soon; but I haven't heard from all of my beta-readers yet (but thanks from those that have got in contact). Did anyone want to make any comments? E-mail if you could, please. Thanks in advance!
ooy

Professor
*
« #35 : 07-14-2004 22:28 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by ooy:
i'll be glad to put it up on my website i need some fanfics, fast, anyone!
please! send your fanfics to futuramaooy@hotmail.com!
also ill like to read it


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