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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    General Futurama Forum Category    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Zoidberg's Death « previous next »
: Zoidberg's Death  (Read 717 times)
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« : 05-11-2005 15:11 »

Well if you read my first fanfic "First Fanfic for Me", then you'll know what I am talking... er... typing about.

*Zoidberg riding on sperm on screen that Leela crashes into*

*Amazing Grace playing in background*
LOBSTER PRIEST We are gathered here today to mourn the death of Dr. John Zoidberg, M.D. He died trying to get a real medical degree *shoots bad look at PE crew*
LEELA *sobs* poor Zoidberg. I... almost sorta miss him!
LOBSTER PRIEST John was the one who stopped our invasion force by... ironically... burning a flag...
FRY I bet Hermes is happy!
HERMES You bet! I'm as happy as a green snake in a sugarcane field! *leaves*
Hermes Waaaaaaaaah! *cries uncontrollably* I always acted like I hated him, but I really just wanted him to be my friend!
BENDER Heeheeheee! We can hear you!
*Fry and Leela's jaws both drop*
PROFESSOR Good news everyone! Zoidberg's office has now been turned into a closet! Also, I may be able to bring him back to life!
HERMES Yaaaay! Thank Jah!
PROFESSOR If I can aquire Zoidberg's DNA, I can clone him using the clone-o-mat! But, it is not currently able to clone Decapodians. You will need to split into two teams: One to aquire Zoidberg's DNA, anf One to steal an upgrade for the clone-o-mat. Good luck!
LEELA But we'll need 2 ships!
PROFESSOR No problem! *presses button under table and a red ship shaped exactly like the old one* Fry, you can pilot the ship too, so you will need to lead team One, to get Zoidberg's DNA. Leela, you lead team Two, to get the clone-o-mat upgrade. So long!
BENDER Why did you name the ship for Zoidberg? To remember him?
FRY Uh, no. It was because it is red.
BENDER Good. I hated Zoidberg.
COMPUTER Approaching Decapod 10. Activating hologram disguse system.
*ship now looks like a Decapodian Fighter*
BENDER Neat! *takes photo*
LEELA OK, Hermes. Stop obsessing over cloning  Zoidberg and get ready. We are approaching the cooridinates.
COMPUTER We are now appraoching cooridinates.


LEELA Tractor beam fully functional. Now, If I can pinpoint it to pick up just one 1 meter diameter upgrade disc, I'll need to sacrifice  main engine power.
HERMES Why did I need to know dat?
LEELA You didn't. I said for no region
HERMES Sweet Lunatic of Lapeer! You're insane!
*Leela takes Hermes' glasses off ang destroys them with laser*
HERMES Great Bob Marley's ghost! You've turned evil! What is wrong wit' ya?
LEELA I... It's my fault Zoidberg's dead! It was the one who came up with the plan! And I calibrated the Reverse Memoray Chamber! I killed Zoidberg!
FRY Well, we've landed in his cemetary!
BENDER Ah, graverobbing. My favorite Passtime.
FRY *reading Tombstone* R.I.P. Doctor      Johnathan Zoidberg, II
"A curious, lovable, lobster hobo. He died among his friends, who were his muderers. My they burn in Hell while Zoidberg feasts in Heaven. God rest his pennyless soul"
BENDER Now that is a good epitath!
Didja like it? The Second part will be up either tomorrow or the day after.

Nasty Pasty

DOOP Secretary
« #1 : 05-11-2005 16:28 »

Nice stuff!  :)

« #2 : 05-12-2005 11:18 »
« : 05-12-2005 11:18 »

lol i laughed my ass off over that hermes thing with the green snakes and sugar canes, nice stuff (i know im kind of stealing pasty's line but cant think of any other way of saying it at the moment).

edit: typo =P

« #3 : 05-12-2005 13:29 »

I'm glad you like it! Anyway, here is...
PART TWO! *Echoes*

LEELA Hey! I got mail! *opens letter*
TALKING LETTER Attention, Turanga Leela. The city of New New York is billing for... $885,000 for the damage to the video billboards you have destroyed. It is due by June 12th 3005, or you will be dunked into a pool of bubbling acid.Have a nice day!

*Zoidberg ripping *dr Z* into Fry's T-Shirt on screen that Leela crashes into*

FRY Here's his body! And ther's a cool hole going through his head!
BENDER Well, lets extract his DNA! *pulls out syringe with 6 inch long needle and extracts DNA*
FRY Let's get back to the ship!
DECAPODIAN COP Not so fast, already. You are under arrest for grave robbing.
BENDER Cheese it!
LEELA Alright. I've locked target on the upgrade disc. Now, I'm activating the beam, now, the disc is being lifted--
HERMES Sweet pest of Petoskey! This is gettin' annoyng!
LEELA OK. I've sucsessfully stole... er... retrieved the disc. Back to Earth!
*sub-space radio transceiver rings*
FRY ON TRANSCEIVER Leela! Help! We've been arrested by the Decapodians. Come bail us out!
DECAPODIAN COP ON TRANSCIEVER The price is 100 Decapodian Dollars, or $1,000 of your dollars.
LEELA But I spent the last of my money on that bill!
HERMES! I'll gladly spend $1,000 to revive Zoidberg, but I'm flat broke!
BENDER We're boned.


BENDER (very softly) I've got an escape plan. Since I cook a lot, I always have lots of butter. I'll melt it, then use it to scare those lobsters just like we did Zoidberg.
FRY All without killing anyone? Whoa.
BENDER Oh, didn't I mention I was going to cook them afterwards?

Well, I've been cut off. Part 2b will be posted soon. Hail_futurama out!

Urban Legend
« #4 : 05-12-2005 13:54 »

That's a really cool story, so far!  Keep up the good work!

« #5 : 05-15-2005 07:47 »

Well, I can't continue this post. I'm gong on a trip to Florida

DOOP Secretary
« #6 : 05-15-2005 23:48 »

There are a few things to remember while you're sunning yourself down in Florida and pondering which direction to take the story (and I know you will, you lucky dog).  The "something" and the "some place" is Hermes' catchphrase rhyme, they are not necessarily alliterations.  Also, they are fairly well-known places, not obscure cities nobody but local yokels like me could identify.  Consider "gret pest of Petosky".  "Great Trotski of Petosky" would have worked much better, but people would still be confused as to what the hell Petoskey is.  "Great great dane of Maine" or "Holy ants of France" or "Sweet Hokey-pokey of the Okeefenokee" (not really an animal, but not much rhymes with Okeefenokee) would have worked even better.

While this story makes more sense than the one about the medical school, it is very rough.  It seems more like an outline of a story than the story itself.  The characters lack refinement as well.  The broader underpinnings of their most prevalent traits are there, but they just don't feel fleshed out (also, as TL points out, catchphrases are insufficient remedies for bad characterization).

The Leela obsessing over a death she holds herself responsible for is a little tired at this point.  Transplanting a critical element of one of the best Futurama stories ever ("The Sting" ) to a form like this is tantamount to scraping gold from King Tut's death mask to make a filling.  You're not going to make it into anything better than what it was and you've chipped away at the integrity of the original.

If you haven't already, read Tongue Luck's anti-fanfic.  Anything I could say about fanfics, she has done fifty-three times more eloquently and with stinging barbs of sarcasm that would make Nix cry like an even bigger baby.

Delivery Boy
« #7 : 02-22-2006 15:09 »

this is 1 hell of a great story keep it up
doc zoid

« #8 : 02-23-2006 01:43 »

awwwwwwwwwwwww zoidberg dies
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