It stinks! (movie review thread)

[Reply #640 on:]

A couple of DVD's I've gotten around to seeing lately:

Inception  This got a lot of praise and I don't really understand why.  Visually very impressive, but that was about the only appeal for me.  When they got to the point where they had four separate realities going on there I no longer had enough interest to follow it, so I hit the stop button.  And why is it that every movie Leo is in these days, he's being haunted in one way or another by a dead wife?  C-

Machete  I wasn't expecting a comedy.  And surprisingly, this movie is pretty damn hilarious in an incredibly over-the-top violent kind of way.  I want to see them try that intestine trick on Mythbusters to see if it's possible.  
B+

[Reply #641 on:]

 Rango

I… Um… I don't know where to begin…

Suffice it to say that I really, really enjoyed this film and I am definately going back to see it again tomorrow.

Grade: A

[Reply #642 on:]

There were way more realities than four going through out the whole movie.

[Reply #643 on:]

The adjustment burrito.     
Was a boring movie need more burritos!

[Reply #644 on:]

There were way more realities than four going through out the whole movie.

When I turned it off, I counted four.  Maybe they added more later. 

[Reply #645 on:]

They were already in at least seven different sub-realities when the movie started.  It's very vague in its implicit depiction of this though, so it's understandable that you only counted four.

[Reply #646 on:]

A Bout de Souffle

Man pulls gun on police. Goes to Paris to try and have sex with someone.

Really enjoyable, doesn't charm the socks off me like Bande A Parte but is still very good. First ten minutes I don't really like as it shows his lifestyle, seems rushed slightly I always think, but after that it improves dramatically as it settles into the story proper. Also, parts of it are just dripping sex

7/10

[Reply #647 on:]

Piranha
Why the hell was this made.  What the hell is wrong with the writers/directors/anyone associated with this movie think it was a good idea to have Jerry O'Connell's digitalized penis eaten and then spit back out so we could see it again, with parts bitten out of it. Ugh.

F

[Reply #648 on:]

Heh...don't see the movie Teeth.

[Reply #649 on:]

That's a terrible, awful, horrible, brilliantly bad, wonderfully wrong, fantastically crap film.

[Reply #650 on:]

Rango

Saw it after I'd heard positive words on it from not just here but reviewers on YouTube. It's definitely not a film for the kiddies. They throw around some language (hell and damn) and there are adult jokes aplenty. I cannot say I hated it because it could've been a shit-fest sprinkled with animation but it wasn't. However, I felt the basic plot was really predictable, even from the very beginning. It immediately wasn't ALL handed to you on a platter, but majority of it was.

I'd rate this film two out of five chameleons aka in letter ratings a D to a C- at best.

[Reply #651 on:]

Yeah, I agree. I saw that movie, and I knew what basically was going to happen. It's also very unoriginal. It seemed very similar to another film I've seen. And as well, is this supposed to be a comedy film? Because I didn't find any of the jokes funny.

[Reply #652 on:]

Okay, got a few more movies I've watched recently. Again, I won't rate them, just talk about them a little.

Starman

This is a movie I'd never heard of before but found on Netflix. After reading the description (directed by John Carpenter, young Jeff Bridges plays an alien who crash lands on Earth and assumes the appearance of a woman's dead husband to fit in), I figured this would definitely be worth a watch, and I wasn't at all disappointed. This is actually a very good film, writing and dialogue-wise. Jeff Bridges, especially young Jeff Bridges, is always fun to watch, but if this isn't his most interesting performance I don't know what is. He even got Oscar nominated for Best Actor for this, which is almost surprising, since at certain parts his acting seems a bit over the top and ridiculous. But the fact that he manages to pull off this difficult role is very impressive, and he’s always entertaining. Unlike other John Carpenter films, this film is actually more of an emotional one, and at times it’s genuinely touching. It’s a good, simple story that’s acted well with dialogue that isn’t ever cheesy - so I definitely recommend it. Again, surprised I hadn't ever heard of this before because it definitely now goes on my list of favorite sci-fi films.

The Men Who Stare At Goats

This was entertaining for what it was. Not a particularly notable film but it has a lot of great actors and a pretty amusing story so, hey, it’s entertaining. Any movie that includes spiking an entire army base’s water with acid can’t not be fun.

127 Hours

This film was just fantastic. Every shot is awesome, the music is awesome, and James Franco’s performance is awesome. This is one of the best-shot films I’ve ever seen, it looks great and I loved the editing style. For those not aware, this is closely based off a true story of a man who gets his arm trapped by a rock in a canyon and is stuck there by himself in the middle of nowhere. Danny Boyle is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors, I can’t wait to see what movie he makes next.

True Grit

Not a big fan of westerns, but as far as westerns go this one was pretty darn good. All the actors do a great job, Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, and Hailee Steinfeld who plays the 14-year-old main character. The story is very simple, and this is probably the first Coen Brothers movie I’ve seen that’s actually totally straight. It’s not particularly weird or crazy or symbolic, and it actually has a distinguishable beginning, middle, and end. But like all Coen Brothers films, it’s expertly shot, the settings are perfect, and it’s full of great performances.

[Reply #653 on:]

Piranha
Why the hell was this made.  What the hell is wrong with the writers/directors/anyone associated with this movie think it was a good idea to have Jerry O'Connell's digitalized penis eaten and then spit back out so we could see it again, with parts bitten out of it. Ugh.

F

Sadly it was a remake of the same shitty film of the same name.

[Reply #654 on:]

Ha, the 1978 original was awesome, I love crappy old horror movies.  There is just something about them.  I find they have an atmospheric authenticity sorely lacking from any so-called 'modern' versions.
And sometimes more intensity in the level of gore.  Though I suppose that varies.  A lot of 70s and early 80s ones that I've seen though tend to flaunt their crappiness with vigor and
gusto.
Anyway also chewy angry piranhas, mmm.

[Reply #655 on:]

Sounds tasty... also ready for a nice heavy dousing of MST3k type dialogue!

[Reply #656 on:]

Oh! I forgot I saw Paul in the cinema a while ago, d'oh.
While definitely a Pegg and Frost kind of film, it's just not the same without Edgar Wright on board, and mixing in a load of US actors, mostly from the SNL crew I believe, kind of gives a mixed up feel.
Seth Rogen, despite having a horrible voice for an alien, is ok and Jason Bateman is good playing a straight edged FBI agent, but his lower ranked teammates just seem silly, Kristen Wiig too.
There is a good cameo by Jeffrey Tambor so that's two AD alumni for spottin'.
Lots of nerd references in it too.
C

[Reply #657 on:]

Ha, the 1978 original was awesome,

Indeed. Piranha didn't need to be remade. The original version is fantastic.

[Reply #658 on:]

IT IS.  I remember coming across it several times on TV..  The thing with always just watching movies on TV is you never quite know how much they cut or not, (cut!  HA!), but there is usually still enough gory n' grody.  I think my favorite parts in that are when the camp counselor buys it, (always a plus to feature a camp in a horror movie, anycase), and near the end when they show that one kinda-mutilated waterskier guy.

euwgh.

Sounds tasty... also ready for a nice heavy dousing of MST3k type dialogue!

I know!!  Those kind of movies lend themselves to that, too.  But even without, sans said helping helpful commentary, many of them are still stoically sterling.

[Reply #659 on:]

The American
George Clooney, a sort of hitman/custom weapons maker for other hitmen (or in this case hitwoman) goes on the run after some Swedish guys try to kill him for some unexplained raisin.
So off he goes to quiet scenic Italian mountain towns where he acts all broody and weary of life in that special hitman way we've seen plenty of times before (Bourne, Martin Blank, Leon).
He meets a beautiful hooker, and builds the rifle for the hitwoman, talks to the local priest a bit, gets suspicious of a very Swedish looking blonde man he sees around town and realises he's had enough and this will be his last job.
Nice scenery as I said, quite slow moving but there is a definite sense of danger building towards the end, even though Clooney plays a similar character we've seen him play before (think Up In The Air/Michael Clayton but for a hitman).
C+

[Reply #660 on:]

The American

I'd give it a C-, personally.  Stylish and suspenseful and everything, but I'm still not sure what happened at the beginning or the end of it.  I mean I understand what happened.  I just don't understand some of the motivations for it. 

Show spoiler

Who killed that woman that was about to kill Clooney?  Was it his boss?  Wasn't that what he wanted her to do?  And at the beginning, why did Clooney kill that woman that was with him?  He even said later on that she had nothing to do with it.

[Reply #661 on:]

The American

Show spoiler

Who killed that woman that was about to kill Clooney?  Was it his boss?  Wasn't that what he wanted her to do?  And at the beginning, why did Clooney kill that woman that was with him?  He even said later on that she had nothing to do with it.

Show spoiler

My understanding of the start was that he killed her on impulse just to be sure, a kind of kneejerk reaction, and that's why he regrets it later.

As for the hitwoman, he fixed the rifle so that it would backfire, there's a short shot of him taking it out just before delivery, he suspected it was to be used to kill him, the cheeky buggers trying to be ironic.

Yeah you're right about it being stylish, the whole film is just a big advert for how stylish George Clooney is.
"Remember all my watch and coffee advert guys? Well check out this film!"

[Reply #662 on:]

Tangled
Really really great.  The horse was hilarious.

[Reply #663 on:]

Paul

Obviously it's not comparable to Shaun Of The Dead or Hot Fuzz (both Edgar Wright films, while Paul is directed by Greg Mottola of Superbad and Adventureland, as well as episodes of Arrested Development). But Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have still written a hilarious film here that's a LOT better than the commercials make it look. If you're at all a fan of the duo but aren't sure whether you should see this film...go see it. I promise you won't be disappointed.

B+

[Reply #664 on:]

JoshTheater, wasn't it you who posted the review of A Boy and his Dog?  I just watched that the other day... what a ride.  After I watched it I tried to search for your (or whoever's) post about and could never find it.  I just wanted someone else's opinion.  I'd give it B-.


Also saw The Hangover recently.  Totally didn't live up to the hype.  I'm all for comedies, but only laughed out loud twice, maybe three times during this.  D

[Reply #665 on:]

Just saw Paul.
It was alot better than I thought it would be (I saw it only because I felt compelled to as it contained egg and Frost)
Once again, I love them and their longer hair.
And as everyone else has stated, it's no Shaun.
I liked seth rogen as paul.
But foul word humor only goes so far and is quickly overused.
Though I did like the odd religious attacks.
I did not see that coming.

B+

[Reply #666 on:]

JoshTheater, wasn't it you who posted the review of A Boy and his Dog?  I just watched that the other day... what a ride.  After I watched it I tried to search for your (or whoever's) post about and could never find it.  I just wanted someone else's opinion.  I'd give it B-.

I picked up A Boy and his Dog out of the bargain bin a couple of weeks ago.  I heard that it's a bit different and I'm looking forward to watching it

[Reply #667 on:]

egg and Frost

Heh heh.

[Reply #668 on:]

JoshTheater, wasn't it you who posted the review of A Boy and his Dog?  I just watched that the other day... what a ride.  After I watched it I tried to search for your (or whoever's) post about and could never find it.  I just wanted someone else's opinion.  I'd give it B-.

I picked up A Boy and his Dog out of the bargain bin a couple of weeks ago.  I heard that it's a bit different and I'm looking forward to watching it

Definitely different.  I'm mostly interested in seeing if someone else thought about it what I did.

[Reply #669 on:]

Cord/ Hide and Seek 2000
About some crazy b!tch that wants to have a baby. So her and her boyfriend get someone else to have it and kidnaps them.

C

The Night Caller
About some crazy b!tch that doesn't wants to have a baby.  So she kidnaps some radio person.

D-


 

[Reply #670 on:]

JoshTheater, wasn't it you who posted the review of A Boy and his Dog?

Nope, never heard of it.

But foul word humor only goes so far and is quickly overused.

Agreed, it was a bit funny at first when Wiig's character was playing around with it, but by the time Bateman gave his long pointless curse line I was like "Okay this is getting stupid."

[Reply #671 on:]

Damn, I thought it was you, and I searched every page of this thread, and most of the last thread too.  If anyone has seen the movie, or the review, let's chat about it, shall we?

[Reply #672 on:]

MrBlonde probably...*tear*

[Reply #673 on:]

The Oxford Murders

Math meets Murders and Guy Fawkes. Too bad the movie was kinda lame.

C

[Reply #674 on:]

Splice

[Reply #675 on:]

Battle Los Angeles
very entertaining alien invasion flick. Aaron Eckhart was great in this movie.

B+

plan on watching Skyline soon

[Reply #676 on:]

Splice

I agree, it was

[Reply #677 on:]

Splice

I agree, it was

It was a long new Outer Limits episode, but with more humanimal fu(king.

[Reply #678 on:]

The Big Bang
Wow, odd movie, Antonio Banderas plays a noirish detective hired by an ex con Russian Boxer giant (the same giant from Sherlock Holmes), who is looking for an ex stripper who wrote him love letters in prison.... seems standard enough... except for the albino midget in flames launched out of a 3rd story window in the beginning 15 mins.
The film ends with him

Show spoiler

driving away from a huge tear in the Earths crust following the explosion of an underground Large Hadron Collider... wut?

A fun and stylishly shot detective story with some unusual themes (particle physics!), some great actors in it too, William Fichtner, Sam Elliot, Bill Duke.
And the sexy Autumn Reeser (boobies) and Sienna Guillory (sexy) provide eye candy.

B-

[Reply #679 on:]

Some movies I've seen over the past few weeks.

Just Go With It
Predictable, bland, and surprisingly underwhelming (for an Adam Sandler movie). It all ends neatly with a wrapped bow without any consequences. It was a slow weekend at the box office.

C-

Paul
I liked it truly, though I was overwhelmed by how many quotes and references they crammed in the last 20 minutes. I got tired of that really quick. Other than that, fun movie. The homosexual theme went a little too far though.

B

Suckerpunch
I do not know how to grade this. It was well made, well acted, the visuals were awesome, and the plot was really interesting, but holy crap did it bum me out. I don't know what I was expecting from this movie, but Jesus Christ a movie has never put me in such low spirits like that before (especially because I wasn't expecting it).

?