Here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for.  If you're massive nerds with nothing better to do than plot pie-in-the-sky world domination plans.

The Campaign Thread

The candidates, in order of appearance:

• i_c_weiner
  
• Mr.MastodonFarm
  
• The Guild of Nurdylicious Contempt (Nurdbot)
  
• Totalnerduk (Assisted by chay's head, Amy20, and Wooter)
  
• Right-Wing Coulter-Worshipping Woman-hating Bible-Thumper Party (Nixorbo and TheMadCapper) (Assisted by Gopher)
  
• laptopmoerder
  
• PEELers Against The Total Havoc Endorsed By Unanimous Nobodies 'N Yardstick (SEL artificial intelligence)  Assisted by Xanfor and jle1993
  
• Archie2k
  
• PEEL Rebellion Against Tyrannical Tools (Teral)
  
• Tallywhacker
  
  Refer to the campaign thread or some of the following posts for descriptions of the party platforms.  As for me?  I'm doing what any currently-presiding evil dictator should do: voting Republican.
  
  As a personal recommendation, Tuesday night seems like a good time to close this poll.  Also, you might not want to let Nix do it.

Vote P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N.Y

"Blah blah, vote for whoever I tell you to"

lappy: I'm your arch enemy? When did this happen?

Anyway, I'm part of the nix/TMC party, just not actually named in the poll. It's part of our plan; my supporters (well, me, anyway) will know who to vote for, while my enemies might unwittingly vote for for Nix & TMC, not realising I come bundled in the deal. win-win. 

or they'll be sensible and vote P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N.Y 

We're not toasters, are you?

Gopher: You are my arch enemy in the run for Corrupt Despot. Nowhere else :-)

Well, if Gopher has joined a third party[tm] as a part of his inconceivably vicious devious plan, everyone's happy, so:

<----- Vote for!

laptop: Still, I had no idea. [steals your coffee]
Yes, my brilliant sinister plan is 2/3s complete

1) Build what little support I can among the PEEL noob population
2) merge with an old-schooler party and get my name left off the ballot, so I can leech off their support in the old guard
3) assassinate my running mates and claim the title of Corrupt Despot

So far so good... :crosses fingers:

Comrades!Vote for P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N.Y.,fot a better PEEl!
And x-number1fan-x,to sound like a idiot who is one of whom I voted for I'll say:
Good,good

I've voted for TNUK, not because he knows about politics and junk, but because he has an awesome hat.

I respect men with good hats dammit.

TNUK.  Amy promised me a night of passion if I voted.

Totarnerduk is a toaster so he's rivals are toasters.P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N. Y.ers are not toasters so they're not his rivals and thus they are not jerks.
Vote for P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N.Y.!

 

Originally posted by Writer unit32:
Totarnerduk is a toaster so he's rivals are toasters.P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N. Y.ers are not toasters so they're not his rivals and thus they are not jerks.
Vote for P.A.T.T.H.E.B.U.N.N.Y.!

You are wrong. Everything that you just said was wrong. Everything that you have ever said is wrong. You are so very wrong, not just on a personal level, but on a subatomic level.

You are a blight, nay, a stain on the face of this universe, and I shall expunge you. You, and this silly bunny-patting confederacy of dunces that you represent are a fundamental failing of the world in which we live, and I heartily endorse Gopher's suggestion that you be killed.

Yes, you are a jerk. Your party is composed of two jerks, and Xanfor. Xanfor is wrong - wrong at the most basic level: that of spelling. His name should be Xanthor, or even Zanthor, but it is not. Instead, it is wrong. Only a jerk would presume to get this so wrong as you. Only you, a jerk, would even suggest that I am a toaster.

However, if I were a toaster, I would (as I believe has been established) be a damn good one. You, you would be a bad toaster, just as you are a bad person. A wrong person. A wrong toaster. You're broken.

Let us not forget that a broken toaster is capable of propelling yellow-skinned morons back through time and thereby destroying the universe. Let us not forget, therefore that you represent a far greater threat to existence that I do. Let us therefore, agree that you and your bunny-loving cohorts are jerks.

 

Originally posted by Writer unit32:
Who listens to this guy?

I do.  At least, I approve of his advertising, though I voted for Nix/Fluffy/Gopher based on their policies.

Also, who on Earth are you, and why have you stolen Nasty Pasty's sig banner for Xanfor's campaign?

 

Originally posted by totalnerduk:

Pfff,no way i'm gonna fear you!I fear death but you[totalnerduk are nothing that can threaten me.And if you'll be a good toaster than any other human being would be a future microwave!

Remember a vote for PRATT is a vote for...

• A naive, busty wench in every tavern
• A blue-eyed, muscular stableboy in each stable
• Punch and pie
• Tailwind on all bikepaths
• Guaranteed victory as mandated by sci-fi logic
• A spot in a firing squad of your choice when we "retire" our rivals
• Free lamonade on Tuesdays
• Joining forces with rugged hunks and beautiful lasses

Vote PRATT, it is your destiny!

WU32: unless you're a new account for an old member, you joined last month, so you're a noob. I've been here almost a year and I'm a noob. I've seen people who've been here for 3 years still called noobs by some of the old guard. As a peeler, you're still at the aspiring supplicant level, so don't get all self-righteous and indignant on us just yet.   

Re: funny old Dom Irrera stand-up...
smiley emoticons : PEELers :: "I don't mean that in a bad way" : Italians.

 

Originally posted by Writer unit32:
  Pfff,no way i'm gonna fear you!I fear death but you[totalnerduk are nothing that can threaten me.And if you'll be a good toaster than any other human being would be a future microwave!

I'm becoming extremely tempted to give you a tangible reason to fear me. Spiderporn, perhaps.

It's called porn ball that's why!

Tnuk: I'm glad I wasn't drinking orange juice when I saw that pic, because it would be coming out of my nose right now.

WU32: Wow. Just... wow. That was possibly the single most un-funny thing I've read all year, and I read Schindler's List a few months ago.

Keep trying, though, you'll get the hang of humor sooner or later.  Then again, if you keep hanging out with this bunch, maybe you won't - we're hardly the best role models. Watch lots of Futurama. Live it. Learn it. Love it.