*Bump*SUPER MEGA DUPER EXTREME POST!
here is THE REST of my fan fic.
Cut back to Fry and Leela. The room is pitch black, and there is a faint clunking sound in the distance. Fry turns the light on.
FRY: Eh? Wassat? What time is it? (He looks at the clock) 2.30AM? Oh man.
LEELA: (Groggily) Wha? What is it? (Alert) And what’s that sound? (The clunking gets louder, and she turns on a light.)
FRY: Probably just…some……zzzz….zzzz (He falls back to sleep)
Leela shrugs, and rolls over to hug Fry. She reaches over Fry, and turns off the light. The door is suddenly flung open, and light from the hallway floods in.
BENDER: Aha! (His eyes extend out of their sockets) Oh ho ho! What’s all this then?
LEELA: (Waking up) Gah! Bender! (She pulls the covers up)
FRY: (Slightly awake) Say what? Oh hi, Bender, what’re you doing…here…at this hour? (He falls back to sleep)
LEELA: Fry! Wake up! (She shoves him, and he wakes up) Bender, we can explain!
BENDER: Oh yeah? That I’d pay to hear, with these ears, which I matter-of-factly don’t have.
LEELA: No really, we can.
LEELA: Well you see, me and Fry, we-
BENDER: Boring! I’ve lost what little attention I first had. I’m gonna tell the others that you’re both okay.
FRY: You mean, they’re all here?
BENDER: Yep, every last one of them. Except Scruffy. I don’t think he was with us….we chased across the whole country after you. We would’ve left you, but the professor said we needed to find you, because the world’s gonna end or something. He needed you urgently, anyway.
LEELA: The world’s going to end?
FRY: Or something? Good God that could be anything! Quick! To the future we must go!
LEELA: We need to get dressed first; we can’t go back into the future naked. (Bender begins to whistle, with his hands behind his back) Do you mind? (Bender backs slowly out of the door, and slams it. He quickly re-opens it, but slams it again)
Cut to the living room. The Planet Express crew minus Fry and Leela are sitting on an array of chairs and sofas.
BENDER:…So then I walked in on them, and guess what? They were naked as the day they were built! Something’s definitely been going on between those two lately.
AMY: Like spluh! Haven’t you noticed?
BENDER: No. Fry has been acting stranger recently, though. Perhaps he’s got a girlfriend, or he’s got involved in a military coup.
Amy slaps her head. Fry and Leela walk in.
AMY: Fry! Leela! (Seductively) Have a good time last night?
FRY: Well let’s just say we know a lot more about each other than we did before…
HERMES: I ‘ope you are ‘appy with yourselves! W had to chase across the whole country after you, and at great expense, too. But I’m pleased to announce all of said expenses will be coming out of your wages, especially Zoidberg’s.
PROFESSOR: Enough chat! We need to get back to the future pronto! It’s already 4.30AM, if we don’t, the-
BENDER: World will be destroyed, yatta yatta yatta come on lets go.
They walk out of the front door, shaking hands with Yancy Snr on the way out.
YANCY Snr: See ya! You be careful of them commies now, Fry.
FRY: I will, dad. (Turning to the Professor, as they walk down the drive) So Professor, how exactly are we going to get back to the future? I mean, people living in my age were so stupid they couldn’t even invent a…wait! I’ve got it!
BENDER: Well why don’t you just not tell us already! We’re screwed any way you look at it. That’ll be a great help, idiot!
PROFESSOR: Wha? I mean, wha? The idiots had an idea? C’mon then, mister genius, tell us your big plan, then we can all poopoo it as crazy and impossible, like what all of my ideas turn out to be.
FRY: I was thinking-
Bender slaps Fry.
BENDER: Stop! Thinking leads you down the road to morality, and from morality to somewhere worse. Do you want to become moral? Do you? DO YOU?
PROFESSOR: Calm down, Bender; let the ‘genius’ speak.
FRY: Well, as I was saying, I was thinking-
BENDER: (Being held back by everybody) When I get my hands on you! (He shakes a fist)
FRY: That, as I froze myself into the future, couldn’t we all do the same thing? Just freeze ourselves for 996 years, and then go on to save the world?
Everyone bursts out laughing, hysterically.
PROFESSOR: Oh my! That’s the most preposterous load of ninnycannon I’ve heard for a long time! (He stops laughing) Yet it just might work.
BENDER: And this guy calls himself a genius! (His laugh falters) Oh wait, he is. Ah crap!
HERMES: Well I’m certainly in favour. I wouldn’t say no to a 996 year sleep.
AMY: All we need now is to find a cryogenics lab that will let us use its chambers.
BENDER: I think we may have passed one on the way up here, I’ll check my memory.
Time lapse. Cut to the Planet Express crew standing inside a strip club, called ‘Erotogenics’
HERMES: Dis is no cryogenics lab! You tricked us! Dis is just a lame excuse to get mildly turned on!
PROFESSOR: Now now, calm down Hermes. (He wipes his glasses) WHAT THE!?! We’re in a gentleman’s club! Why you…
BENDER: I…I…I can explain. Honestly! I think I have a virus.
Amy walks up to the professor, with a man following her.
AMY: Err…John and me are going to go to the car for ‘coffee’.
PROFESSOR: You most certainly are not! (To John) Go back to your hole, creep!
JOHN: You starting on me?
PROFESSOR: I most certainly am! Lets take this outside.
JOHN: Feh. Like you could ever beat me up. Later, Amy!
AMY: But…John…coffee…Professor, you blew my only chance to get together with a boy from the stupid ages.
Fry coughs, reminiscing about the time he and Amy went out together.
PROFESSOR: Bullcoddle! We need to get back to the future, not hang around in exotic bars! C’mon, crew!
Professor Farnsworth follows the crew out very slowly.
Cut to a real cryogenics lab. They enter through the automatic doors.
BENDER: Neat! (He takes a picture)
FRY: Bender, we have those in the future.
BENDER: No we don’t.
FRY: Yes we do.
BENDER: No we don’t.
FRY: Yes we do.
BENDER: Yes we do.
FRY: No we don’t.
BENDER: Ha! I win! In your face!
LEELA: Okay you two, what did I tell you before?
FRY+BENDER: No pointless arguments that end in Bender winning, insulting, and or injuring Fry.
LEELA: That’s right. Now, if we are going to freeze ourselves, there’ll be no fighting over who gets the best tube. You hear me?
FRY: Yes. (Whispering) I call best tube.
BENDER: Aww crap!
The crew enter one of the tube rooms. All the lights are off, and there is a faint sound of a vacuum cleaner in the background. The room is full of empty tubes.
PROFESSOR: Bingo! Now Bender, you will need to set everyone’s tubes once they are inside, then set your own. You’ll manage it somehow, you’re a robot, and robots can do anything…I think.
Everyone climbs into a tube. Fry and Leela kiss, and climb into separate tubes. Bender walks around the room, setting the tubes to 996 years. He detaches an arm, and climbs into the tube. The arm sets the tube to 996 years, and drops on the floor.
Fade to Black
Caption: ‘996 Years in the future…’
There is a soft click. Fry steps out of his tube, and yawns. Leela and the rest of the crew closely follow him.
FRY: Ah, it’s good to be home.
BENDER: Back to the days of robot porno, aliens and beer that’s actually alcoholic.
PROFESSOR: We still need to get back to New New York and save the world, though!
AMY: But how will we get back?
PROFESSOR: I don’t know! I’m not that clever!
They walk past a hover-bus stop.
FRY: Hey, there’s a bus that goes to New New York. We could always catch it.
PROFESSOR: Catch a bus? But that’s a sign of your social status as bums with little or no wages!
LEELA: Well that settles it then. When’s it due?
FRY: (Looking at the timetable) About…five minutes ago.
BENDER: Well that’s crap!
LEELA: When’s the next one?
FRY: In about five hours.
PROFESSOR: Five hours? Dear lord we don’t have five hours! Well we’ve got five and a half to be exact, but that’ll leave no time to save the Earth!
ZOIDBERG: If only there was some other way, like that. (He points towards a bus coming along the road)
FRY: Well whaddaya know? It’s early!
The bus pulls up at the bus stop, and the crew get on.
SAL: (Driving the bus away from the bus stop) Wheres youse guys going to?
PROFESSOR: New New York, and step on it!
SAL: Okays, but I’s makes no promises about stepping on New New Yorks.
Time lapse. Cut to New New York. The bus pulls up outside the Planet Express building.
PROFESSOR: C’mon, crew, no time to waste. (To Sal) Sorry about the mess back there, you know what it’s like with lobsters, when they see food.
SAL: No’s, I can’t says I do.
PROFESSOR: Just send the bill to my employees. Toodlepip!
The crew enter the Planet Express building.
FRY: Ah, it’s good to be back at work. (He sits down in front of the TV with a beer.)
BENDER: I’ll drink to that! (He gets a beer out of his chest)
HERMES: Fry, Bender! (He pulls the TV off the wall, and throws it out of the window)
BENDER: Meh, he’ll pay for it.
HERMES: The professor needs you.
HERMES: To save the world, you empty headed fools! Get over to him NOW.
BENDER: Aww man, he always counts on us to save the world. (The walk out of the room, mumbling)
Cut to the launch bay. The huge crate is winched into the hold.
Time lapse. Cut to Planet Express ship in mid-flight. The professor is on the Overhead TV, and Leela is talking to him.
LEELA: Professor, do you even know what is in the box? Because we can’t figure it out. Why would the Omicronians want a ransom, when they haven’t even committed any crimes?
PROFESSOR: All I know is that some shifty looking government agents gave it to me. They said to never open it, or the Omicronians would be, and I quote ‘On our asses ‘like a ton of bricks’’. So don’t any of you even think about touching that- (He is cut off by a beeping sound)
LEELA: Sorry Professor, I’m gonna have to take this. (She presses a button on the screen, and Fry appears.)
FRY: Leela! We, uh, well, me, err, Bender opened the box! You won’t believe what is inside!
LEELA: Oh lord. Professor, are you still there?
PROFESSOR: (O/S) That’s it, Hermes, a little lower. (There is a splat) Ooh that got it!
PROFESSOR: (Appearing on the screen) Say what?
LEELA: What on Earth were you doing with Hermes?
PROFESSOR: Hermes was just helping me get rid of a particularly nasty boil on my back.
HERMES: (O/S) I don’ know why I help him!
LEELA: That’s quite enough about your back. Fry and Bender opened the box.
LEELA: They say that there is something amazing in it – I’m going to go and check up on them, see if they are okay.
Cut to Bender and Fry. They are stacking crates along the centre of the hold. Caption ‘Simultaneously’.
FRY: Why are we doing this, exactly?
BENDER: I have no idea. Lets do something else.
FRY: Like what?
Caption ‘One minute later’.
BENDER: I know, lets make a wall out of these crates!
FRY: Sounds like fun.
BENDER: (Stacking crates) So what exactly IS going on between you and Leela? Don’t skimp on the juicy bits.
FRY: Well, It all started when…
Caption ‘Five minutes later’.
BENDER:…And THAT’S how I got banned from Jupiter!
FRY: Hey, what about my story?
BENDER: Yeah, well, it got lost somewhere along the way.
Leela suddenly runs in.
FRY: Leela, hi! We were just talking about you, I think.
LEELA: (Ignoring them both) Alright! What was in the box? And why are all these crates stacked along the centre of the hold?
FRY: Well, we opened the box, and were so shocked by what was inside, we built a wall do defend ourselves from it.
LEELA: Is it alive?
FRY: If you count alive as ticking, then yes.
LEELA: What? It’s ticking? Let me see it!
She kicks her way through the crates, and, in the middle of the hold, sits a large metal cylinder, with a digital display on the front, counting down. The display reads ’60, 59’ and so on.
LEELA: Oh no! We’ve got a minute until it explodes!
The autopilot announces an incoming transmission.
LEELA: I’ve got to get back to the cockpit. See if you two can figure out a way to disarm it. (Cut to show Bender cowering in Fry’s arms)
FRY: Y-y-yes, captain.
Leela runs back to the cockpit.
LEELA: (Picking up the phone) Hello? Now’s not a good time.
LRRR: This is Lrrr, of the planet Omicron Persei 8. You are five minutes late with our ‘package’.
Leela glances at the clock on the screen. It reads ’12:05’
LEELA: We have a very good explanation. You see…
Caption ‘Five minutes later’
LEELA: And then, they opened the box, and-
LRRR: They did WHAT? Ndnd, fetch my hand cream.
NDND: (O/S) Where is it?
LRRR: In the draw, middle I think.
NDND: Here you go. (She hands it to Lrrr) Don’t use all of it at once; you’ll get a rash.
LRRR: I know how to use hand cream, Ndnd. Anyway, (Rubbing cream into his hands) as I was saying, your friends opened the box, did they? Well, it looks like Earth might have a little meeting with our secret weapon!
LEELA; And what’s that?
LEELA: Say what?
Suddenly, Fry and Bender rush in.
FRY: Leela! We couldn’t defuse it! It counted to zero, but nothing happened! We’re not dead, are we? Please say we’re not dead.
LEELA: Of course you’re not dead.
LRRR; Nice to see your ‘friends’ have decided to join us.
BENDER: Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?
LRRR: Oh, me and your one eyed friend were just having a chat.
BENDER: About what?
LRRR; Just the fact that I’ve just turned your ship into a computer controlled nuclear missile!
LEELA: How the hell did you do that!?!
LRRR: You know that mysterious ‘ransom’ that you were told to deliver to us?
FRY: Yeah! It was a nuclear bomb!
LRRR: We were going to send it back, by ship, to the planet, which has single-handedly stopped us in our ultimate quest to conquer the universe!
FRY: And what planet would that be?
BENDER: Earth, bozo. (He kicks him in the shin)
FRY: Ow! Metal hurts! Why’d you do that?
BENDER: Was bored.
LRRR: DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Anyway, the ship would land on Earth, and when the crate was opened, the bomb would automatically arm. Then, we simply set it off via remote control.
LEELA: Huuuh! You are saying that we are going to crash straight into Earth? But how?
LRRR: The bomb was fitted with an autopilot override bug, which, like the name suggests, overrode the autopilot in your ship, thus enabling it to return on a collision course with Earth.
BENDER: (Shaking fists) Why I oughtta! (He throws a book, entitled ‘Stress and anger management for beginners’ at the screen, and the screen smashes and goes black.)
FRY: So, now what’re we going to do?
LEELA: Well, we can’t phone for help, seeing as Bender destroyed the phone.
BENDER: It was Fry!
LEELA: So it looks like we’re going to have to try and disable the bug ourselves.
BENDER: How’ll we do that, one eye?
LEELA: Well, Fry, you and me will try and disable it manually, and Bender….
BENDER: Don’t keep me waiting!
LEELA: I don’t know whether you will like this or not, but I want you to enter the ships computer system, see if you can destroy the bug from the inside.
BENDER: You mean merge my programming with the ship. Again?
BENDER: Well okay, but on one condition. If I don’t come back, tell everyone I died mugging some old rich man.
FRY: (Patting him on the back. We will, buddy, we will.
LEELA: Now, according to this fancy computer gizmo, we have about ten minutes before impact with Earth. Lets do it, people!
FRY: So, in ten minutes, we die, right?
LEELA: Yep, then we die, along with the whole of Earth. Now lets defuse this hunk of junk!
Fade to black.
Fry and Leela run back down to the hold. Bender sits down in the cockpit, and takes a beer out of his chest. Cut to Fry and Leela. They are standing in front of the door to the hold.
AUTOPILOT: Password, please.
LEELA: That’s funny, I don’t remember there ever being a password before.
AUTOPILOT: That’s because there wasn’t one! You cannot get in! Bwahahahaha!
LEELA: That’s what you think. (She flying kicks the door, and bounces off)
AUTOPILOT: Its steel, idiot.
FRY: Hey! No one calls Leela an idiot! (He punches the door) Ow! My wrist!
LEELA: C’mon, Fry, we need to find another way in…damn, I just remembered that this IS the only way in.
FRY: We could always go back to the cockpit and try and steer the ship away from Earth.
LEELA: Fry, you’re a genius!
They run back up to the cockpit.
Cut to the cockpit. Bender is asleep, with a magazine over his eyes. Fry and Leela run in.
Bender does his amazing panicked scream.
LEELA: You’re supposed to be saving the world, not getting mildly aroused!
BENDER: I’m fairly sure you said I could go to sleep – let me check. (He presses a button on his side, and a tape rewinding noise comes from with in him.) Here we go.
LEELA’S VOICE: I want you to enter the autopilot’s computer system, see if you can destroy the bug from the inside.
BENDER; Well I’ll be…
LEELA: Now get inside that computer, before we all die!
BENDER: Okay, okay, I’m going.
Bender walks over to the autopilot control panel, and inserts a wire into it.
AUTOPILOT: I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. (The wire suddenly goes up in flames)
BENDER: (Dancing around the cockpit) Oh God, it’s hot…Ow god it’s hot! (He sits in a potted plant) Right, missy, time to have a meeting with BENDER! (He shoves his fist into the control panel) Oh…Yeah…(His eyelid closes)
LEELA: Lets try and steer this barge. (She turns the wheel) It’s jammed!
FRY: Here, try this. (He hands her some butter)
LEELA: Eww! Where’d you get this?
FRY: My pocket, where all the things I give people come from.
Cut to the inside of the computers system. Bender is walking around, holding a baseball bat.
BENDER: Here, buggy buggy buggy, come out come out wherever you are.
The camera pans to show a giant spider, sprawled over a large area of hard drive.
BENDER: Holy moly! (His eyes extend) It’s hammer time!
Suddenly, the spider stirs, and launches itself upwards, revealing behind it the tied up Planet Express ship icon.
BENDER: Oh God! (The spider lands right in front of Bender) Eeep!
Bender climbs onto one of the spider’s legs, and up onto it’s abdomen. The spider bucks and shakes, trying to throw Bender off. Bender strikes the bat into the back of the spider, but to no effect. Bender is thrown off, and lands on the ground some distance from the spider. It lunges towards him, and Bender strikes one of the legs with the bat. The leg breaks, and flies off, the spider recoils and lunges again. Bender jumps, and strikes the spider on the back again, but nothing happens. He clambers up onto the spider’s head, and strikes it in the eye. The spider lurches forwards erratically, and crashes into a circuit board. Bender hits another leg, and both the leg and the bat break in half. The spider staggers forwards, collapses, and skids along the ground. It rolls, throwing Bender off. He lands on the ground and kicks the spider in the abdomen, towards a jagged, sparking circuit board. The spider impales itself on the sharp edge, and explodes, in a shower of black pixels and green gunk.
BENDER: That was easy. (His arms and legs fall off)
Cut back to Fry and Leela.
LEELA: We’re getting some control of the ship back, I think Bender’s done it!
Cut back to Bender in the ships computer. He runs over to the Planet Express ship, and unties her.
P.E SHIP AUTOPILOT: Thanks so much! That spider was really…evil.
BENDER: No time! Must run!
Cut back to Fry and Leela.
AUTOPILOT: Full control restored, all systems go!
LEELA: Hooray! He did it!
FRY: The only thing is, the bomb is still armed. What’ll we do about that?
LEELA: I always thought that this sort of situation might eventually occur, so I took the precaution of having an ejectable cockpit installed.
FRY: So you are saying-
LEELA: Exactly! We swerve towards a passing meteorite or comet, then quickly and effectively eject, before using the pre-installed booster engines to steer our way back to Earth.
BENDER: (Coming out of the computer system) Ta da! I’m back, baby!
FRY: Well obviously…with an entrance like that you’d be stupid if nobody noticed you were back.
BENDER: Shut it, meatbag.
LEELA: You two, stop arguing! I’m about to try and pull off a very tricky manoeuvre.
Cut to outside the Planet Express ship. The ship swerves sharply to the right, and simultaneously the cockpit ejects and flies off towards Earth. The ship flies into a passing planet, and explodes, in a beautiful fireball and mushroom cloud.
FRY: I’d sure hate to be on that planet.
The cockpit turned escape pod drifts towards Earth. There is the sound of a kiss.
BENDER: Get a room, you two!
Fade to black and end credits.
And there it is. Possibly the longest FanFic I'll ever write. I hope you all enjoyed it. I currently have no idea as to whether there'll be a part three, but there is a definite possibility of there being one.
thankyou for your time