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Author Topic: Venus crawls out from under her rock  (Read 17610 times)
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Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #120 on: 05-24-2005 20:50 »

On a completely unrelated note:

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I love eBay! I just won an original The Sting Script! In the words of Layla: Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy Yay! I wanted TDHAIP too but the bidding went for over 30 bucks.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #121 on: 05-24-2005 20:55 »

WOOOOO!  *High-5's Venus*

You go, shippy girl!
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #122 on: 05-24-2005 23:22 »
« Last Edit on: 05-26-2005 00:00 »

Lucky. I'd KILL for one of those...though I'd probably lose it. I'd have to keep it in a special spot and never, ever move it, except to read it, and charge people 5 bucks to look at it...*trails off* Uh, yeah. That's awesome! I don't have an Ebay account, but I don't need one. At least I live near a big thrift store. Yay thrift stores!
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #123 on: 05-25-2005 21:23 »

Aw. I'd love to have The Sting script. But I've won 2 shirts on eBay so that's good. eBay is a Godsend. More shippy please.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #124 on: 05-30-2005 00:17 »
« Last Edit on: 07-23-2005 00:00 »

Melodramaorama. Oh well, i liked it.

----------------------------

Residence of Turanga Morris & Munda
9:30 pm
Day 1


Curled up alone on the edge of the couch, Munda sighed disconsolately as she hugged her blanket tighter around her. Hours of crying had left her exhausted and worn. So she just sat in desolate silence, gently rocking back and forth. It just didn’t seem fair. They had only gotten Leela back a few short months ago. Losing her now was unthinkable. They just hadn’t had enough time! Parents weren’t supposed to outlive their children. It just wasn’t the natural order of things. And although Munda had been aware of her daughter’s rather dangerous career choice she had trusted Leela’s judgment and ability to take care of herself. Her daughter had been through so much, and was such a strong spirit it had seemed like nothing could ever bring her down. But she had been brought down. And a lot sooner then Munda ever could have expected.

Morris cautiously watched his wife from the doorway of the kitchen. She looked horrible. Like she was seconds away from throwing up. When it came to her daughter, there just wasn’t a whole lot Munda could stomach. Leaving Leela at the orphanarium had shattered her. It had shattered him too. Who knew what this would do. He walked slowly over and handed her a cup of hot chocolate.

“I called the University. They’re gonna get a substitute to cover your classes for the rest of the week.”

Munda nodded slightly as she stared numbly into her coffee mug. Morris sat down beside her and roughly ran his hand through what was left of his graying hair.

“Do you think they’ll let us above ground for her funeral?” He asked after several seconds of silence.

Munda turned an interesting shade of gray. “Morris! Oh my God!

“You know the law.” He said softly. “No mutant can apply for more then one surface pass per year. We both got one three months ago. We don’t qualify for any more.”

“Well, we aren’t going to need any more.” Munda insisted slowly through clenched teeth. “Because she is going to be fine.”

“That’s not what her doctors seem to think.”

“Screw her doctors!” Munda shrieked wildly. “They don’t know her! She’s strong, if anyone could make it through this she could!”

“What if she doesn’t?”

Munda stared hard at him, dumbfounded. “You’re giving up on her? After only a few hours? How dare you! How Dare you! She’s your daughter!

“I am not giving up on her!” Morris insisted, deeply hurt by the accusation. “I just want to be prepared in case she...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought.
 
Munda slumped back against the couch, her anger suddenly gone. “I just can’t believe this is happening. It can’t be real. She can’t be dying, I would know it if she was. I’m her mother, I would feel it.”

Morris wrapped a comforting arm around her and drew her close. She leaned heavily against him.  “I didn’t even hug her...” She whimpered, her voice breaking.

Morris gave her a questioning look.

“The last time she was here to visit. When she went to leave. She was in a hurry and I had my arms full...and I didn’t hug her goodbye.” She burst into fresh tears, “I always hug her goodbye. Then the one time I don’t…”

“You told her you loved her though. I remember that part.”

“But I didn’t hug her. And now I might never get to…and they won’t even let us go see her.” She sighed, but it sounded more like a barely surprised sob “I wish we could be with her. She shouldn’t be alone.”

“She’s not alone Munda, her friends are with her.”

“But it should be us. It’s never us! We’ve missed everything! First steps, first words, her whole life, and if you’re right and she doesn’t survive then we won’t be with her for that either. She’s had to go through her whole life alone. She can’t die that way!”

Morris didn’t know how to answer her. Truth was, the thought of Leela wasting away in some hospital room with no way to guarantee that she had someone with her at all times was just as disconcerting to him as it was to his wife. Unless someone remembered to call them Leela could die, or be dead for some time, before they ever had any idea. They had no way to check for themselves, no way to let Leela know that they were even thinking of her. It was every parent’s worst nightmare. To have a child in danger and no way to reach them.


Taco Bellevue Hospital, Cafeteriam   
10:45 pm
Day 1


“This is sooo gross. They actually feed this to sick people?” Amy stabbed warily at her jello. The waxy glob jiggled at her in a decidedly threatening manner before retreating into the safety of its Dixie cup.

Dr. Zoidberg leaned towards her, “Finished with that, maybe?” he asked hopefully as he eagerly eyed her still quivering dessert. 

Amy shoved the jello over and recoiled with disgust as he devoured the whole thing, paper cup included.

“Should we take any of dis up to Fry?” Hermes asked.

“What, getting impaled and losing Leela all in one day wasn’t bad enough?” Bender quipped.

“This is so depressing. I’ve never known anyone who was dying before.” Amy said morosely.

“Whadda you care? You hated her anyway.” Bender pointed out.

“What?! I never said that! When did I say that?”

“You’re always insultin’ her and stuff. You do a better job of it then me sometimes, and I’m a seasoned professional.”

“No I don’t!…Do I?”

Everyone stared blankly at her.

Amy squirmed uncomfortably. “Well I never meant anything bad by it. Does she think I hate her? Cause I really don’t! Oh splam, I don’t want her to die thinking I hate her!”

She stood up, pushing her half finished tray over to a delighted Zoidberg who accepted it readily. “I’m gonna go up there and see if Fry needs anything.”

Feeling incredibly guilty Amy walked silently down the corridor towards Leela’s room. As she neared it she could hear the low muffled voice of Fry. She couldn’t hear the words themselves but his overall tone indicated that he was either in tears or near them. “Poor Fry,” Amy thought, “I can’t even imagine how I would feel if it were Kif.”  Not wanting to startle him she knocked gently on the door before poking her head in. Not even bothering to wipe the tear tracks off of his face Fry looked over his shoulder at her.

“Um,…hi.”

Fry stared blankly.

“The others are in the Cafeteriam, and I was wondering if you wanted me to bring you up anything to eat.”

Fry shook his head. “I really couldn’t eat anything right now. Not with Le-” His voice broke and his face fell. Unable to finish his sentence he buried his face in his hands.

“Is there anything I can do?” Amy asked softly.

“Unless you know how to work miracles…”

“Nope sorry, they haven’t really covered that in class yet.”

Fry smiled weakly. “Actually I think there is something you could do.”

Amy blinked, surprised, “Really? What?”

Fry stood up and walked across the room to a chair. Piled neatly on it was everything Leela had had on her when she was brought in. Fry dug around in the pile until he found what he was looking for. Then he walked over to Amy and handed her a set of apartment keys.

“Can you go to her place and get Nibbler and take him down to her parents? She would be real upset if she woke up and found out we forgot to take care of him.”

Amy cringed inwardly at the thought of facing Leela’s parents again. “Are you sure I should? I mean I was the one that told them about….what happened. And if I show up there again they’re gonna think I’m there to tell ‘em that she…you know…snuffed it.”

Fry winced. “They’re gonna think the worse no matter who goes. Just tell them why you’re there right away. Besides no one else likes him enough to watch him for her.”

“But I thought you liked him.”

“I like him fine, but I’m gonna stay here. She needs someone with her.”

“How long are you going to stay?”

“Until the end.” Fry sighed sadly and looked back towards Leela’s still form. “Whatever that may be.”


Taco Bellevue Hospital, room 413
8:44 am
Day 2


Fry squirmed stiffly. Hospital chairs were definitely not meant for sleeping. Not that he would have gotten much sleep regardless. He had stayed up late talking to Leela about anything and everything that entered his mind. From Calculon’s newest nemeses on ‘All My Circuits’ to the political beliefs of the homeless bum in Times Square. Sometime in the early morning he had fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion, his head resting gently on her mattress with her hand still enclosed in his. But now he was awake, feeling if possible even more exhausted than when he had started, and on top of that his wounds were itching under their bandages, the nursing staff had tried to make him leave, and Leela’s condition hadn’t changed one iota. It was enough to put Fry in a fairly frustrated mood.

He reached under the shirt he had changed into the night before, scratched at his bandages roughly and tried to position himself more comfortably on the hard plastic chair. It was a pointless task and he knew it, but it gave him something to do for the moment. Something other than focusing on the fact that the only reason the one person he had ever really loved was alive right at that very moment was because of a piece of technology mechanically forcing air into her lungs. It was an amazing machine when one really thought about it. Fry had been thinking about it a lot. In fact he had spent a good half hour the night before just staring at the thing. His dreams had been filled with scary images of power failures and blown circuits, clumsy janitors and faulty wiring, anything that might cause that wonderful machine to stop its life-saving work.

Giving up on ever being comfortable Fry slumped dejectedly. “Just think Leela,” he said bitterly, “If I wasn’t such a loser and don’a better job protecting you, we wouldn’t be here right now. No wonder you never thought much of me. If I was you I wouldn’t think much of me neither. You save me like every week. And I couldn’t even save you this once. And it shouldn’t have even been that hard! I could’a just pushed you out of the way or something. Then neither of us would have got stung. I had enough time to do it, I just wasn’t thinking.”

He crossed his arms on her mattress then leaned forward and rested his head there. “But I guess that’s the problem ini’t. But if you get well Leela I promise I’ll be better. I’ll do whatever you want. Anything. You name it, I’ll do it. Please, just wake up.”

If Leela heard his plea she gave no indication. Fry’s only response was the low hiss of her respirator and the steady beat of her heart monitor. Even though he hadn’t really expected her to magically wake up for him, he had dared to hope, and as small as that little spark of hope was, it was still painful to have it extinguished. He hoped she wouldn’t be like this for long. He wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. 
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #125 on: 05-30-2005 00:54 »

Yaaay, shiptastic angstiness! Another great chapter. Now I have something to think about (other than whether Homestar Runner would beat Strong Sad in a fight to the death). Yay. :3

On a semi-related note, I was flipping through the encyclopedia the other day (yes, I do that sometimes) and came across the entry for "coma", which made me think of this fanfic. (It also made me think of me poking someone with a pointy stick and GIR popping up during The Sting to poke Leela ("Awww, she's broken!" ), but that's beside the point.)

Um, yeah. Keep up the grood work. (No, that is not a typo. Grood = great + good.)

I am the Bacon Man!
I

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #126 on: 05-30-2005 03:25 »

Moris & Munda update! Yaaaaaaay!

Wonderfull,; very shippy, very you. In fact, I would consider this amongst your better ones.  smile

On an unrelated note; there is a lot of mentioning of earlier fics... Are they avaible for reading here on PEEL?
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #127 on: 05-30-2005 07:45 »

earlier fics? Not by me this is my first fic.
Young_and_Angry

Professor
*
« Reply #128 on: 05-30-2005 11:09 »
« Last Edit on: 05-30-2005 11:09 »

*Bounces* Yay! Update! Venus! Melodrama! My second favourite!   love
Fab chapter... I suck at comments that are postive...so....lovely!

And Shippy Mandy, Homestar could beat Strong Sad in the same manner the Cheat could, you know, with his (invisble?) arms duct taped behind his back, and little pieces of duct tape over his eyes, and Strong Sad could have a spear, even.
Same goes for how badly Macca can whoop Jesse McCartney's ass...(A while ago a friend who likes all that teeny bopper, who ever whatever generic girl magazine she reads says is hot she likes kind of stuff, and me, who is just the Beatle freak were arguing over who was better...I drew a comic.)

But that's beside the point! Venus, this is good beyond reason! You have a way with melodrama!   big grin
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #129 on: 05-30-2005 14:17 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Young_and_Angry:
And Shippy Mandy, Homestar could beat Strong Sad in the same manner the Cheat could, you know, with his (invisble?) arms duct taped behind his back, and little pieces of duct tape over his eyes, and Strong Sad could have a spear, even.
Hmm...makes sense. Thank you for putting my mind at ease. (Poor Strong Sad...) I know I've seen that one before, but which toon/email/whatever was it from?

This is very, very good for a first fic. My attemps at writing fanfic have all been awful, and my original stories generally involve murderous princesses, Hillary Duff (usually dead), and random, unprovoked cameos from various cartoon characters.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #130 on: 05-30-2005 16:51 »

Nice update Venus.

I liked the part in the hospital cafeteria. Zoidberg was so great.
So after 1000 years, hospital Jell-o is still disgusting.  laff  I don’t know why but I believe you.

The part with Leela’s parents was good too but I’m having a really bad day at work today and… did not get into it like I should. I’ll reread it later.   wink

Keep it up girl.

Bye for now.
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #131 on: 05-31-2005 15:33 »

 
Quote
“Should we take any of dis up to Fry?” Hermes asked.

“What, getting impaled and losing Leela all in one day wasn’t bad enough?” Bender quipped.

There's no cure for hospital food.   tongue
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #132 on: 05-31-2005 19:02 »

First of all, belated congrats on winning that script, Venus! Why is it that every time I look for Futurama scripts on ebay, there are none? Eh, but I digress...

Anyway, I read the last couple of parts of your fic, and I'm lovin' it. There are some jokes, when the opportunity arises (I think that, when you're going for the drama, it's always a good idea not to insert too many jokes in...it will seem to forced. But, in your case, it just enhances your writing when you decide to go for a joke.) Oh yeah, and you just upped the shippy quotient on these boards--this has got to be one of the best shipper fics ever (you and Layla are about tied at the moment). I mean, I'm a fan of the ship, and I like how you write it. I don't really think there's a trick to it (maybe you have to make Fry sincere, but not have him wallow in self-pity), but if there is, you obviously know what it is (um...yeah, that really made no sense). Anyway, I can't wait for more of this story. It's just...wow.
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #133 on: 05-31-2005 20:23 »

Oh, the melodrama...  and the normal drama... and the mellow drama... 

I think Gorky said something right in that jumbled paragraph when she said not to keep Fry wallowing in self-pity.  So far, you’ve had him drift in and out of it with the  “If I wasn’t such a loser” paragraph and such, and I suppose that is OK, but too much of that stuff makes a difficult read.

Now, your Munda/Morris interaction was wonderful.  These are characters that were never developed too deeply in the canon, and I think you’re playing their anguish extremely well.  The entire segment was particularly skillfully written as well.   

 
Quote
“Oh splam, I don’t want her to die thinking I hate her!”
  I like this for two reasons.  One, I think splam is a totally original Amy word, and secondly because it humanized Amy a bit, which is always difficult to do.

 
Quote
Originally posted by NIC2001:
Keep it up girl.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #134 on: 05-31-2005 22:45 »

Don't worry, the 'i'm a loser' speech is the only one like it (i remember) Fry having. He doesn't wallow too much i don't think but he does wallow some since he does honestly believe he massively failed Leela the one time she really needed him.

Yay Gorky's back!
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #135 on: 06-04-2005 17:38 »

Hi...I finally have time to comment a bit.  (Been sick.  Don't ask). 

I do have one complaint, I've been too nervous to say it, but you know I love you and I love your fic, right?  So I've just gotta admit...the "V-for-W" in Zoidberg's speech is driving me bonkers.  It always makes me cringe in fanfic, because Zoidberg doesn't sound like that.  His W's are a little more, er, emphatic that most, but they don't get nearly as far as a V.  Reading the V's always makes me think, "Why is Zoidberg suddenly doing a Bela Lugosi impression?"

In general, phonetic spelling dialog is like those super-strong Chinese peppers...a teeny, teeny bit gives spice and flavor, but too much makes the dialog inedible.  In particular, it makes readers aware that they're reading someone's words instead of hearing the voice of the character in their mind...it takes them out of the world of the story.  Which, since your prose is so good at pulling people in, is a shame.  You also don't need to do much of it at all in fanfic, where 99% of your readers know the sound of the characters accents well already.  If you get the phrasing right for Zoidberg or Hermes or Amy's parents, the readers' minds will fill in the right consonant and vowel sounds automatically. 


Now, then...I absolutely adore the Munda and Morris scene.  I think you're playing them just right.  Munda's thoughts were perfect, the whole paragraph is like an expertly polished gem.  Their interaction is just exactly right.  Morris wondering if they'll be allowed up for her funeral, Munda getting furious at him for it...bravissima.  Personal favorite bit of mine...


 
Quote
“But it should be us. It’s never us! We’ve missed everything! First steps, first words, her whole life, and if you’re right and she doesn’t survive then we won’t be with her for that either. She’s had to go through her whole life alone. She can’t die that way!”

Just really nails the crux of Leela's parents inner conflict, and the price they paid to give her a better life.

Next scenes...excellent, excellent stuff with Amy.  JBerges has already praised my favorite Amy line. David A praised the perfect Bender line.  JB and Gorky have already cautioned you about the Fry wallowing, so I feel kind of superfluous...but let me see...

 
Quote
...Something other than focusing on the fact that the only reason the one person he had ever really loved was alive right at that very moment was because of a piece of technology mechanically forcing air into her lungs. It was an amazing machine when one really thought about it. Fry had been thinking about it a lot. In fact he had spent a good half hour the night before just staring at the thing. His dreams had been filled with scary images of power failures and blown circuits, clumsy janitors and faulty wiring, anything that might cause that wonderful machine to stop its life-saving work.

May I say that this is brilliant?  It really drives home just how tenuous the situation is, and  how painfully Fry is aware of it, and how terrified of the possible outcome he is, and just how important Leela is to him.  I think Fry's observations on the respirator makes your point that Leela is "the one person he had ever really loved" even better than actually saying it does.  It also plays on the fact that Fry's active imagination, a virtue, is nothing less than a curse in situations like these.  He can't avoid thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong, and it only emphasizes how helpless he feels.


Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #136 on: 06-04-2005 17:49 »

Yeah, my beta mentioned Zoidberg's V's as well. The reason i do them is because Kryten wrote most (if not all) of his fics with Zoidy speaking with the V's and since Kryten was the first author of futurfic i ever read, and is also the first fic author i worshiped i do it as kind of a little homage.
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #137 on: 06-05-2005 03:12 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
Kryten was the first author of futurfic i ever read, and is also the first fic author i worshiped

That must be why reading your fanfiction doesn't make me want to physically harm you.  Kryten's stuff is the only other Futurama fanfiction I've read that I didn't hate.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #138 on: 06-14-2005 14:38 »

Gasp! Venus' fic on the second page! Travesty!

Gasp! Layla finally getting around to replying to other peoples hard work?
About time!

sppss... Gorky, I'm on my way... and Venus is much, much better than I am, whether she'll admit it or not.

 
Quote
Her daughter had been through so much, and was such a strong spirit it had seemed like nothing could ever bring her down. But she had been brought down. And a lot sooner then Munda ever could have expected.
Ah, so very poignant! I just want to give Munda a hug. I've always loved descriptions of that point beyond crying, when you sort of lose all strength and can only sit, blearly-eyed and wait for the world to turn.

The description of Leela as a strong spirit is perfetly apt. You've really got a knack for Morris and Munda. It makes me want to rewrite every scene I've written with them. Incidentally, it did have an impact on the last thing I wrote, since I had read this beforehand.
Such an inspiration!  smile
 
Quote
Who knew what this would do.
Ooh, now I get to nitpick... with love. There should be a question mark, at least, I think so.

I like the imagery in this story. You're a very visual writer,Venus. I like Morris watching, and the way that sort of puts a barrier between the two of them. The hot chocolate is beyond sweet.

So Munda's a teacher? That's a great idea! I love how there's a real society for the mutants when you write. Most people gloss over that I think.

The contrast between Morris' sad pragmatism and Munda's clinging to hope is both shocking and touching.

 
Quote
I’m her mother, I would feel it.

Oh, goodness. Break my heart why don't you?
Munda's remembering the hug, or lack thereof, is quite realistic in my experience. When you're grieving for someone, often your mind picks one little thing that would never bother you normally and plays it over and over again until it becomes this massive crime.

I like the one year limit detail on the surface passes. You're really good at fleshing out the details of the Futuramaverse. I always find tha difficult to do, like I'm being presumptious, so I think it's wonderful that you do it so well. Fanon is a lovely thing... most of the time.  wink

 
Quote
But it should be us. It’s never us! We’ve missed everything! First steps, first words, her whole life, and if you’re right and she doesn’t survive then we won’t be with her for that either. She’s had to go through her whole life alone. She can’t die that way!

Oh, the pathos, wonderful pathos. I need a tissue... sniffle.

Oh, and I like how you clarify Morris' reaction as not being heartless, just different. It's a lovely touch.

And then a nice mood breaker with Amy versus the jello. I love the concept of anthropomorphic jello. I will henceforth keep a closer watch on it when it wanders into my refrigerator.

I should think the paper cup would be safer to munch on than the jello.  wink I like Bender's teasing about Fry's bad day, plus hospital food. I have no doubts that he thinks Fry oughta be eating Bender's homemade jello, now with less arsenic!

Morosely is a great word. I really like how they call Amy on the carpet for the way she's treated Leela. Very in-character, for the group to turn on one of it's members, and I think Amy really didn't mean to actually hurt Leela. ie. "I hope she didn't take my attempt to destroy her too seriously."

Like Bergey, I love the word 'splam'. It's not easy to come up with Futuramistic words, and you're very good at it.

It's very sweet that Fry asks Amy to take Nibbler to Morris and Munda. I think it's a truely startling display of presence of mind, coming from anyone really, but particularly from Fry. I don't think it's OOC though, because Fry can be very thoughtful when he's not being distracted. With all his attention on Leela, it seems natural that he'd remember her pet.

I like the words 'snuffed it'. So very tactful.  wink I can tell you really get into your character's minds when you write, because of your anticipating Morris and Munda jumping to conclusions when Amy returns to them.

 
Quote
Until the end.” Fry sighed sadly and looked back towards Leela’s still form. “Whatever that may be.

I really love this line, though I have a little trouble picturing it coming out of Fry. That's partly the point though, since he's falling apart at the seams here anyway. I gotta go watch 'The Sting' again.

I like your thorough description of Fry's discomfort. Adds to the realism. Fry's staring at the respirator is awesome. His blaming himself doesn't bother me one iota. Fry doesn't seem to dwell on things often, but he does sometimes, and can be very hard on himself.

I love, love, love 'ini't'. I don't know why.

Shiptastic as usual, Venus! Keep it up! You know we're waiting for you like the salivating dogs we are.  wink


Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #139 on: 06-14-2005 15:17 »

Yay! Layla Praise!

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
So Munda's a teacher? That's a great idea! I love how there's a real society for the mutants when you write. Most people gloss over that I think.


It's the only job i could think of where a degree in exolinguistics could be useful. That or a museum and she seemed more the 'teacherly' type than the 'museumly' type.
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #140 on: 06-14-2005 21:19 »

Soooo...when are you going to update again? It's been a while. At least you're not dead. That would be bad. Very, very bad.

I can see Munda as a teacher, especially one who taught younger kids. I wonder what Morris does...

I like the part about hospital food. (It kinda reminds me of what happened when I was born--Mom couldn't get any vegetarian options at the hospital, so eventually she just told Dad to get a burrito from Taco Bell. At least, that's what I was told.)
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #141 on: 06-14-2005 21:41 »

I'll update again once i'm through being lazy. I still gotta write a few more pages.

Munda doesn't work with littls kids (although i think your right that she would be good at it.) She works at the local University in the language department. Morris's job will get a mention but not for quite a while.
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #142 on: 06-14-2005 22:30 »
« Last Edit on: 06-14-2005 22:30 »

That makes sense. *nodnod* And it's OK about the whole laziness thing. I keep telling myself that I'm going to write or draw something, and yet I never wind up doing it. *sigh* At least you actually got past writing the first chapter!  smile
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #143 on: 06-15-2005 12:22 »

Hiya Venus,
I thought I'd crawl out from under my rock and throw in my two-cents worth with all the rest.
I can hardly wait for the next installment!
Keep up the great work.
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #144 on: 06-15-2005 13:59 »

I never thought about the possibility of the mutants having a university down there in the sewers, but I guess that they must have one if Munda has a degree in exolinguistics.

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shippy Mandy:
I like the part about hospital food. (It kinda reminds me of what happened when I was born--Mom couldn't get any vegetarian options at the hospital, so eventually she just told Dad to get a burrito from Taco Bell. At least, that's what I was told.)

Taco Bell is worse than hospital food.
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #145 on: 06-15-2005 14:40 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by David A:
 Taco Bell is worse than hospital food.

But it's better than McDonald's.

David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #146 on: 06-15-2005 15:25 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shippy Mandy:
But it's better than McDonald's.

True, but I wouldn't eat anything from either place.

Well, maybe the cinnamon twists, but nothing else.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #147 on: 06-15-2005 15:46 »

i like taco bell's soft taco with no lettace. But you would never catch me dead in a Mcdonalds. Once they took away the salad shakers there was no going back.
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #148 on: 06-15-2005 15:56 »

I just wish that Taco Bell had the cheesy bean and rice burrito again. That thing was delicious, but they only had it for, like, a month or two. The Bean Burrito Especial is good, but it just isn't the same.

I've only ever been into a McDonald's once, actually (and it was just to get a soda), but I don't like it due to their utter lack of vegetarian options. One cannot live on fries alone.  frown

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a quiet corner to cry in.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #149 on: 06-23-2005 00:14 »

*Sheepishly crawls out from under rock*

First i got writers block, and then i kinda forgot i was writing a fic altogether. Someone, i think it may have been Tongue reminded me about it when JBERGES called me during the peelathon. But it's not my fault! The movie theater i work at is getting ready to open to the public so we've been cleaning like mad, plus i have a second job at the cookie store. All the other writers got big long hiatus' i'm entitled to one too! And i got a blister! So no one can get mad at me on account of me being injured!

So without further stalling for time, the closest thing to a songfic you'll ever get from me. Behold!


------------------------------

Taco Bellevue Hospital, room 413
1:17 pm
Day 2


“Look, I told you before now I’m telling you again. I’m not leaving.”

The agitated nurse sighed with frustration and ran a hand through her thick auburn hair.
“Look, it’s hospital policy to only allow relatives to stay with a patient during non visiting hours. And you are not a relative.”

“But her family can’t be here!” Fry blurted indignantly, “They’re...foreign. Very foreign. And it’s not fair to make her stay all alone just cause I’m not related to her!”

The woman was unmoved. Deciding to switch tactics Fry gave her the most pathetic puppy-dog look he could muster. “If I leave she might think she’s been forgotten and then she really won’t want to wake up.”

The young woman raised an eyebrow, not totally buying the act.

“I’m not leaving.” Fry stated firmly as he crossed his arms defiantly.

She opened her mouth to resume her argument but was interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

“Hey buddy.” Bender said cheerfully as he sauntered in, “I brought that stuff you wanted.”

“Hey! You can’t just...visiting hours aren’t....aw hell I give up.” She threw her arms up in defeat and stormed out in a huff.

“Jeez, what crashed her operatin’ system?” Bender asked.

“She’s been trying to kick me out all morning.” Fry huffed bitterly. “Cause I’m not ‘family’. Yeah well so what!? What difference does it make anyway? It don’t change nothin’. I wouldn’t love her any more than I do now even if I were her family.”

Bender waved his hand dismissively. “Yeah, whatever. Where d’ya want this stuff?” He held up a small gray CD player and a binder of tiny half inch sized CD’s.

Still feeling bitter Fry pointed wordlessly at the bedside table. Completely ignoring Fry’s mood Bender dropped his load on the table and then held out his hand.

“I’m not paying you anything until you give that stuff back.” Fry stated flatly.

“What stuff?”

“The stuff I know you took from Leela’s apartment this morning when you were picking up these things for me.”

Bender feigned a look of hurt indignance. “Me? Steal from a injured woman? As if I were capable of such a misdeed! You sir, have crossed a line!”

Fry scowled and crossed his arms.

Muttering crossly Bender opened his chest cavity and sure enough a small cascade of stolen goods fell at Fry’s feet.

Fry knelt down and picked up a small box, examined it briefly then gave Bender an odd look. “You stole a box of tampons?”

“She had them hidden away I thought they might be valuable.”

Fry had no response for this so he set the box down and rifled though the rest of the pile.
“I can’t believe you’d steal from her while she’s hurt. That’s just mean.”

“That’s not all I did.” Bender gloated proudly. Fry stared up at him.
“I also moved every single appliance and piece of furniture in her whole apartment exactly one inch to the left. She’ll never know what hit her!”

“That’s just double mean. I’m not gonna pay you anything until you take all this stuff back and put it right back where you stole it. And put all her furniture and stuff back too! She’s got enough to deal with without you making things harder.”

Mocking Fry under his breath Bender shoved all the items roughly back into his chest before heading out the door. Fry scowled at him until he was gone. Then he turned his attention back to Leela.

“I’m real sorry about that Leela. I’ll make sure he doesn’t take all your stuff while you’re here. Anyway, I had him bring some things over. Your doctor said it might be a good idea to play some music for you, and since I have absolutely nothing else to talk about we might as well start that now. I had him grab your CDs so it’ll be stuff that you like.”

Fry took her CD binder off of the table and flipped through it. He wasn’t surprised to find each CD meticulously labeled and arranged just so. The pages were even color-coded. Most of the names he didn’t recognize so he chose one at random and placed it in the CD player.

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together,
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.


“Oh wow, not exactly the mood I was hoping to set.” Fry skipped hurriedly to the next song.

Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again

You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above


“Nope.” Fry jabbed the ‘next’ button.

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
the goddess of imaginary light


“I’m beginning to think we should try a different CD.” Fry stated uncomfortably as he hit the ‘next’ button one last time.

I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I lay dying,
And I'm pouring
crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.


“Aaack!” Fry flung himself on the player and jabbed the ‘off’ button in panic. “What the hell do you listen to?? Okay,…okay...that was a fluke. We’ll just try something else. Something happy and life-affirming and everything will be cool.” He flipped another couple pages in the binder and randomly chose a new disk.

What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams
And give into sad thoughts that are maddening?

Do I let it go and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness?
Or do I trust no one and live in loneliness?

Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again


Fry stared scathingly at the player as if it were being negative on purpose just to spite him. “You have got to be kidding me.” He picked out a new disk, determined to give it one more try.

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk alone


“I give up!” Fry angrily powered down the player then rounded on Leela, pointing his finger at her accusingly. “When you wake up we are having a serious discussion about your musical tastes missy!”

“Did you just call her ‘missy’?”

Fry whirled around in surprise to find Amy standing in the doorway. “Never call her that when she’s awake. I don’t think the reaction would be pretty.” Fry slumped down moodily in his seat as Amy walked over to join him.

“What were you doing?”

“I was trying to play music for her like her doctor told me to.”

“So what happened?”

“I can’t play any of this stuff for her. Her whole music collection might as well be renamed ‘Songs to slit your wrists to’.”

Amy nodded. “Yeah, one thing about Leela, she always had a pretty decent taste in music.”

Fry scowled. “You’re not helping.”

“I’m not seeing the problem.”

“I can’t play suicide music to a woman in a coma! It could give her ideas.”

“She hasn’t gotten ‘ideas’ yet and she’s probably been listening to this stuff for years.”

“But we’re sposed to be positive when we’re around her. And this stuff is not positive!”

“Fine, here, let me help.” Amy grabbed the binder and flipped through a few pages until she found a disk she liked. She handed it to Fry. “You were looking in the wrong section. It looks like she has these organized by mood. This one should be pretty harmless.” Fry eyed it suspiciously but tried it anyhow. And she was right. The music that emitted from the player was soft and orchestral with a Celtic feel.

“Better?” Amy asked.

“Much.” Fry answered, relaxing somewhat for the first time that morning. They sat in companionable silence for the duration of the first song. “This is nice.” Fry said, “I can see why she would like this. What is it?”

“Adiemus. I remember her saying something about it. I think it’s what she plays in her quarters to calm herself down when you and Bender stress her out. She plays it a lot.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Hey, don’t kill the messenger.”

“Did you take Nibbler to her family?”

“Yeah. Her mom nearly had a heart attack when she saw me down there again. I told you I would scare them.”

“Did they mind taking him?”

“No. I think it made them feel better, like they were helping or something.”

“Well, at least that gives them something. I can’t imagine not being able to be with Leela when she’s hurt. They gotta be going crazy by now. I would be.”

“They are. Her mom already looks like a zombie and it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet. And her dad looks, like, 10 years older.”

“I feel so bad for them. I wonder what they’re doing right now.”


Residence of Turanga Morris & Munda
1:45 pm
Day 2


“I bet they‘re doing the same thing we‘re doing.”  Morris answered his wife. “Waiting.”
Munda sighed. “They said they would call us as soon as anything changed. So if they haven’t called us then that must mean nothings changed.” He said reasonably. “It’s best not to worry.”

Munda stared at him skeptically. “Not worry? Are you kidding? Until I see her again all I’m gonna be able to do is worry.”

As if in agreement, Nibbler whimpered from his nearby pet-bed. Munda observed him, her head resting on her tentacle. “Poor dear, he hasn’t moved since Amy brought him. He misses her too.”

“Whatever happens,” Morris said firmly, “We will handle when it happens. Something will happen eventually. And whether good or bad there’s nothing we can do until then.”

“There’s nothing we can do period. We’re stuck down here.”

“Hey now, weren’t you the one getting upset with me yesterday for being too negative?”

“You were talking about funerals. I haven’t gotten to that point yet. And I refuse to go there until I know for sure that she’s definitely headed in that direction.” She grabbed a couch pillow and hugged it to her chest. “Which she could very well be right at this very moment, it’s not like we have any way of finding out for sure.” She growled bitterly.

“They will call us Munda. That Amy girl promised.”

“Sure they’ll call us. After the fact. After something happens then we’ll find out. But during that something, whether good or bad, we’re in the dark. We could get a call at any time, saying she died an hour before. Which means during that hour we’re just sitting here going about our daily business with no idea that our daughter isn’t alive anymore. Doesn’t that just sound wrong to you? Does it even make sense to you? Cause it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me.”

Morris didn’t answer. Somehow he sensed Munda wasn’t really looking for one.

“We gave her up so her life would be better.” Munda said softly after a short pause, “This isn’t better. This kind of stuff was never supposed to happen to her.” Her voice rose and she began to sound hysterical. “I did not give her up for this kind of shit!”

“I know. But this is the kind of thing no one could control.” Morris said as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

At Munda’s miserable expression he added desperately, “But let’s try to look at the bright side for a bit.”

Munda eyed him skeptically. “What bright side?”

“Well, When Leela gets better, which I am 87% sure she will, she won’t be in any position to stay by herself, right?”

“I’m listening.”

“So, she’ll have to come stay with us for a while. And you have what, twenty-eight years of motherly hovering to make up for?”

“I suppose.” Munda said slowly. “I mean, if she would even let me get away with hovering. Her independent streak is bigger than she is.”

“You’re her mother she’ll put up with anything from you. She still lets you get away with bragging about her to the neighbors.”

Munda’s expression turned fond. “She does hate when I do that…”

“See? Bright side!”


David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #150 on: 06-23-2005 01:48 »

 
Quote
Fry knelt down and picked up a small box, examined it briefly then gave Bender an odd look. “You stole a box of tampons?”

“She had them hidden away I thought they might be valuable.”

  laff That was great.  And perfectly logical from Bender's point of view.

...

Some questions:

Why would CDs still exist a thousand years in the future?  Wouldn't they have been long since replaced by some newer form of data storage?

Why would Leela's music collection primarily consist of thousand-year-old songs?  (I'm assuming those are actual lyrics from contemporary songs, unless you wrote those lyrics yourself.)
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #151 on: 06-23-2005 02:05 »

“That’s not all I did.” Bender gloated proudly. Fry stared up at him.
“I also moved every single appliance and piece of furniture in her whole apartment exactly one inch to the left. She’ll never know what hit her!”

Ha. That's great.

Fry: “I can’t play any of this stuff for her. Her whole music collection might as well be renamed ‘Songs to slit your wrists to’.”

Nothing gets me laughing harder than a death reference. Sheer greatness.

Also as I read one of the lyrics, I was listening to Boulevard of Broken Dreams. But those lyrics are like poems that I write. I can't picture Leela listening to this music. Cause if she sang, "And I will Always Love You" By Celin Dion or whoever than why would she listen to this?
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #152 on: 06-23-2005 03:45 »

David A: Perhaps they're like todays vinyls.  Collector's items.  The real question is why she would listen to Evanesc...oh.  Right.  Good choice of songs, by the way.
 
Quote
“That’s not all I did.” Bender gloated proudly. Fry stared up at him.
“I also moved every single appliance and piece of furniture in her whole apartment exactly one inch to the left. She’ll never know what hit her!”
That is such a robot burn.  Greatness.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #153 on: 06-23-2005 08:24 »

I'm not entirely sure that I agree with the choice of songs (although, heh, I love Green Day, so thanks for "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" ), but I guess they fit (considering your personality...and aspects of Leela's).

Anyway, Fry was really sweet in this part. Getting upset over every song was funny. My only complaint is...

 
Quote
“She’s been trying to kick me out all morning.” Fry huffed bitterly. “Cause I’m not ‘family’. Yeah well so what!? What difference does it make anyway? It don’t change nothin’. I wouldn’t love her any more than I do now even if I were her family.”

That last sentence was great, but the part I put in bold just doesn't really...fit...Fry. I mean, we all know he's not the smartest guy in...anywhere, but he doesn't talk like that. (I mean, the dreaded...bum, bum, bum...double-negative and...stuff.) I guess I'm just being nitpicky, but I just thought I'd mention it. Other than that one line, everything else about Fry in this part was perfect.

Let's see...what else? Bender stealing the tampons was hilarious, and the "robot burn" that N-o-r quoted was just as great. Amy helping Fry was good, too (I loved that Leela categorizes her CDs by mood).

As for the Morris and Munda section, you really got the whole "worried-outta-their-skulls" aspect down. I loved how you had Munda break down, while Morris was the rock, despite his concerns.

 
Quote
Munda’s expression turned fond. “She does hate when I do that…”

“See? Bright side!”

I really liked that line. 'Nuff said.

Oh yeah, and, here's my annoying, tedious, nitpicking moment...

 
Quote
“She had them hidden away I thought they might be valuable.”

Seems like a run-on sentence or something. It either needs a period between "away" and "I", or, I think a semicolon would work in place of the period, as well.

Eh, forget it. I don't know what I'm sayin'. Grammar teacher, I ain't. (See what I mean?)

So, anyway, great job, Venus. It was funny, sweet, and, like, y'know, well-written and stuff. Keep it up.
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #154 on: 06-23-2005 09:13 »
« Last Edit on: 06-23-2005 09:13 »

 
Quote
think it may have been Tongue reminded me about it when JBERGES called me during the peelathon
  Oh...yes.. 'cause it certainly couldn't have been the one that called you...  tongue

 
Quote
“I also moved every single appliance and piece of furniture in her whole apartment exactly one inch to the left. She’ll never know what hit her!”
  As said, this was great, as was Bender’s tampon filching.

Futurama has always featured music from the 20-21th century in it’s episodes, so I see no problem doing the same in this fic.   

However, a few things to nitpick on:

In a relatively short section, you say "Fry scowled" three times, a synonym might help.
 
Similarly: “...'crossed a line!.  Fry scowled and crossed his arms. Muttering crossly…”

More crosses than a Catholic church.   big grin

Also, this may just be me, but out-and-out cursing in the Futurama-verse never sits well with me.  I mean, it outright jettisoned me from the lovely fantasy you've created.  I don’t know, perhaps I’m weird.

Besides that, a splendid effort.  I still like your Munda/Morris interaction, and you’re not playing Fry as just a whimpering self-deprecator; you’re giving him some layers, which is good.  Looking forward to what’s next!   
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #155 on: 06-23-2005 13:32 »

Great update Venus! The scene with Munda and Morris was very good and I loved how Leela's music was arranged by mood. (Leave it to Fry to find the 'wrong' section first!)

I did find Fry's double negative a bit jarring though, it doesn't really fit imo. Still a wonderful upadte!
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #156 on: 06-23-2005 13:33 »

Good chapter!

Bender stealing tampons was the highlight of the chapter. That was hilarious (well, actually, his entire scene was awesome). So was Fry's anger at Leela's musical tastes.

The part with Leela's parents was equally good, albeit for a different reason.

Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #157 on: 06-23-2005 13:44 »
« Last Edit on: 06-23-2005 13:44 »

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  And i'm always so careful about not repeating words! I failed!


On to the varius music related questions: CD's still exist primarily cause i'm not clever enough to futurize them. So i shrank them. All cd's in the future have a radius of ------- For convienance and portability. Also ipods are expensive, even in the future.

Yeah i had to throw in my obligatory Evanescence plug. What kind of rabid fan would i be if i didn't? However Leela doesn't listen to Evanescence. It's 1000 years in the future so she's listening to remakes of remakes of remakes of remakes etc. Cause if half the songs on the radio and movies in the theater today are remakes then by the future there will be nothing original left. Cause executives want to sell what sold well in the past. So basically the music section was in in-joke with myself.

@Spacedal: She seems to like a lot of stuff. Whitney Huston [sp?] jazz noodling, opera, she went to that Beastie Boys concert. She seems to like music in general.

@JBERGES: Was it you that reminded me about my fic? I could have sworn it was one of the girls. It may have been both and Tongue is just the only one i remember asking. I talked to a lot of people so i don't really remember who i had which conversation with.

@Gorky: THe song choice wasn't really supposed to intimately relate with Leela's emotions or whatever, they were just supposed to completely wreck the happy 'everything's great so you really wanna be awake right now' mood Fry was trying to establish. The whole joke of that section was supposed to be how nothing ever goes exactly the way Fry plans it.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #158 on: 06-23-2005 15:50 »

Great update Venus!

The whole Bender part was so good.   laff

I liked the Evanescence plug too. I’m not a big fan of music but I do have their CD in my car. They are one of my fav groups! (Seeing your avatar, I know that you like them too.  tongue)

That was great! Can’t wait for the next part!

Keep it up.
I

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #159 on: 06-25-2005 18:24 »

I didn´t know that Bender was such an artist; inch-to-the-left-moving is an act rarely performed by anyone other than evil masterminds, unemployed painters / poets and stoned craftsmen from That 70´s Show.

Great update, not that this came as a surprise...
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