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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    It's got a TV!    Titsploitation « previous next »
Author Topic: Titsploitation  (Read 1021 times)
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Pitt Clemens

Urban Legend
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« on: 07-29-2004 02:32 »

OK, some movie or show comes along, and they are Thin on plot, thin on talent, so they make up the difference by going thick on chest sizes.

Most guilty TV cluprit: Baywatch.

I never watched an episode of this show the whole way through ever.  I didn't think I had to, I got the point, SEE Silicone at it's best: Wrapped in flesh and a bathing suit, and filmed in slo-mo and charging through breakers.

most guilty movie culprit....Hmmm...How about...Damn I can't think. every time I try to focus I just get images of Adrianne Barbeau in "The Fog" "Escape from New York" and "Swamp thing"

Oh, well, Have ats.
Nurdbot

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« Reply #1 on: 07-29-2004 05:23 »

Let me get my list of anime that does this.

Pitt Clemens

Urban Legend
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« Reply #2 on: 07-29-2004 11:30 »

Why bother?  You can only add to the list nearly every anime ever made.
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #3 on: 07-29-2004 11:41 »

Haven't you ever watched Cinemax before?

I saw this thing last night that was seriously pissing me off. It was about this Brazilian photographer and her picture taking quest, and she at one point threw her roomate out, then yelled at a man she had to work with for "not knowing the greater levels of love". I seriously had to listen to this bitch go on with "I don't want to know, I don't want to see you anymore, get out of my house" for like five minutes! And her accent WaS sO aNnOyInG!!! AGH!!! Then her narration..."Harry and Danielle do not know about the greater meanings of love, they cannot feel the spiritual empowerment of two people bonding, they just want to satisfy their animal needs". It was such female empowerment bullshit straight out of Lifetime and put through the pornolizer fit for Cinemax at 1am.

I have to say, I'm disappointed more often than not, but this is the only time I was actually angered. Maybe I should have taken this to the rant thread.
Lurrr

Professor
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« Reply #4 on: 07-29-2004 11:52 »

Probably.

Some of the best 'titsploitation' I've seen are late-night Channel 5 TV movies that are described in the TV guide as 'erotic thrillers' and 'steamy dramas'. Any scene which does not involve sex is just a build-up to a scene involving sex, strung together with what is probably a 'plot'. It's funny up until the point where they try to make it erotic. Then it's just silly.
Speli

Urban Legend
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« Reply #5 on: 07-29-2004 12:30 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
Let me get my list of anime that does this.


It'd probably easier to make a list of anime that doesn't do that...
Melllvar

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #6 on: 07-29-2004 13:33 »
« Last Edit on: 07-29-2004 13:33 »

Showgirls.

Probably the funniest, scariest movie ever made. 

That sex scene in the swimming pool between Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle McLachlan, man, that was awful, all that thrashing about, I felt like chucking my laundry in there.
Nasty Pasty

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« Reply #7 on: 07-29-2004 13:50 »

Catwoman.
Nurdbot

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« Reply #8 on: 07-29-2004 14:41 »

Speli: Your kidding right? Might as well Identify Hitler's Nephews while I'm at it.

Nasty: Second.
DrThunder88

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« Reply #9 on: 07-29-2004 21:16 »

I have to say that the porno I have seen is unequivocally bad.  It's as if the storylines were designed only so the characters would take their clothes off and start banging...oh wait.

Seriously though, it's bad.
spacepilot3000

Starship Captain
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« Reply #10 on: 07-29-2004 23:00 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Melllvar:
Showgirls.

Probably the funniest, scariest movie ever made. 

That sex scene in the swimming pool between Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle McLachlan, man, that was awful, all that thrashing about, I felt like chucking my laundry in there.

 laff
Coop

Professor
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« Reply #11 on: 07-29-2004 23:05 »

 
Quote
Seriously though, it's bad.

That's what gay kids say.
futuramafreak

Urban Legend
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« Reply #12 on: 07-29-2004 23:05 »
« Last Edit on: 07-29-2004 23:05 »

Lupin the 3rd.  Awesome show, even has good writing, I'm not saying it's bad, but take a look at Fujiko.  Her name even means 'twin peaks'.
Nixorbo

UberMod
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« Reply #13 on: 07-29-2004 23:44 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrThunder88:
I have to say that the porno I have seen is unequivocally bad.  It's as if the storylines were designed only so the characters would take their clothes off and start banging...oh wait.

Seriously though, it's bad.

Now that we've taken care of the garbage problem, perhaps you could help me with my sexual inhibitions.

I have a thousand years of power.
"NOOOOO HE WAS MY BROTHER!" and then got tired and slept.


"He has the special talent, though, of being able to help people and make them feel utterly stupid all at the same time. ... In short, he's a great moderator, but a terrible human being."
-SlackJawedMoron
Nurdbot

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« Reply #14 on: 07-30-2004 03:16 »

It's worse with soft core.
canned eggs

Space Pope
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« Reply #15 on: 07-30-2004 03:34 »

Grunka lunka lunka dunkety doft core.

Nix: With gusto. Eeew.

futuramafreak: Um, are you sure about that translation?
Shaucker

Professor
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« Reply #16 on: 07-30-2004 22:44 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrThunder88:
I have to say that the porno I have seen is unequivocally bad.  It's as if the storylines were designed only so the characters would take their clothes off and start banging...oh wait.

Seriously though, it's bad.


There was this soft-core LOTR parody on Skinimax a while ago. The parody part was absolutley horrible-yet funny. Yet I watched. The girls--and therefore tits--were the most natural and hottest than in most porn on Max. And it was all girl/girl  big grin
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #17 on: 07-30-2004 23:17 »

Ha! I saw that! I think it was called "Lord Of The G-Strings: Fellowship Of The String".

Have you seen the one that's the Planet of the Apes parody? They even have people in monkey makeup and everything, it's ridiculous. But there are humans. And it it's also all girl-on-girl action. Score.
evan

Urban Legend
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« Reply #18 on: 07-30-2004 23:54 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
Have you seen the one that's the Planet of the Apes parody? They even have people in monkey makeup and everything, it's ridiculous. But there are humans. And it it's also all girl-on-girl action. Score.

Yes, I have seen this.  I believe it was on HBO 12 a month ago, very late at night when I couldn't sleep.  I believe it was called something like "Planet of the Playmates" or similiar.  And the monkey costumes were so bad, and the lame attempts at humor were so bad, and the acting from this Russian astronaut girl was so bad.  Needless to say, it was hilarious.

Bender: "Try this, kids at home!
Warning: do not try this at home
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #19 on: 07-30-2004 23:58 »

If there's one thing I've noticed about Cinemax porn, almost all the titles have the word "Passion" in it. One such movie...I think it was called Visions Of Passion got the mix perfect. The perfect mix of suspense, perfect amount of lesbians, best amount of foreplay, and it wasn't weighed down with a plot like most of these stupid detective-drama shit logs.
canned eggs

Space Pope
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« Reply #20 on: 07-31-2004 00:47 »

I just saw David Lynch's Mulholland Drive.  It made no sense.  But I like David Lynch because, if you've studied any film theory, you'll realize you can look at tits and be edified about patriarchy and gender roles and stuff like that.  I recommend it.
Nurdbot

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« Reply #21 on: 07-31-2004 02:35 »

I wish the UK had Cinemax.
winna

Avatar Czar
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« Reply #22 on: 07-31-2004 03:11 »

I've seen all those Cinemax mentioned movies...
Ummm.... what I do in my spare time late at night in the comfort of my home is my....

*becomes very very silent*
Tweek

UberMod
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« Reply #23 on: 07-31-2004 03:15 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
I wish the UK had Cinemax.
You can watch sleaze on Channel Five though  tongue

Nasty Pasty

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« Reply #24 on: 07-31-2004 03:40 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Tweek:
 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
I wish the UK had Cinemax.
You can watch sleaze on Channel Five though   tongue


there's always an alternative...   no no

Nurdbot

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« Reply #25 on: 07-31-2004 03:47 »

The Internet.
futuramafreak

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« Reply #26 on: 08-02-2004 01:19 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by canned eggs:
Grunka lunka lunka dunkety doft core.

Nix: With gusto. Eeew.

futuramafreak: Um, are you sure about that translation?

I don't get it.
canned eggs

Space Pope
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« Reply #27 on: 08-02-2004 01:39 »

You said Fujiko means twin peaks.  I don't belive that translation is accurate.  The rest doesn't apply to you.
Shaucker

Professor
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« Reply #28 on: 08-02-2004 08:46 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
Ha! I saw that! I think it was called "Lord Of The G-Strings: Fellowship Of The String".

I'm actually surprised someone else saw this. I thought it was funny, in a lame, corny, girl on girl way. And it was kind of Monty Python-esque, as far as low budget porn goes.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
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« Reply #29 on: 08-02-2004 14:29 »

Damn I wann see that.
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #30 on: 08-02-2004 16:23 »

Believe it or not, I am an entrepeneur of Cinemax porn. It's the kind of thing my friends all make fun of me for because I see repeats all the time.

Speaking of which, what's up with this Black Tie Nights show? I wasn't expecting much from it, but damn it's so gossipy it's hardly worth jacking off to.
Nurdbot

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« Reply #31 on: 08-02-2004 17:04 »

Soft Porn is more funny than erotic.
Shaucker

Professor
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« Reply #32 on: 08-02-2004 20:53 »

No, the one I speak of was funny AND erotic.
Something like this--
Scene: the woods. two hot elf-ish chicks are getting it on. everything looks cheap.

"Army" comes up. Army is about ten guys in lame costumes.

Guy: Uh, excuse me, we're supposed to have a monumental battle here!
Hot chick: Right now?
Guy: In five minutes. We decided to be early.
Hot chick: Oh. Can we just finish first?
Guy:....yessssss

"Army does the pervy watch thing, except for obligatory gay guy"
Melllvar

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« Reply #33 on: 08-02-2004 21:01 »

I saw the Blair Witch one (The Erotic Witch Project - which I rented out, er, for a laugh [ahem!]), that was hilarious!
VelourFog

Space Pope
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« Reply #34 on: 08-02-2004 21:45 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shaucker:
 I'm actually surprised someone else saw this. I thought it was funny, in a lame, corny, girl on girl way. And it was kind of Monty Python-esque, as far as low budget porn goes.
They have that movie for sale at the Hollywood Video near my house for $10 I think. If anyone wants me to pick them up a copy.

bankrupt

Urban Legend
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« Reply #35 on: 08-02-2004 23:15 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by canned eggs:
I just saw David Lynch's Mulholland Drive.  It made no sense. 

I've seen Mulholland Drive and Blue Velvet.  Neither one of them made any sense to me at all.  I didn't care for his movies, but David Lynch gets a thumbs up from me in the naked women department.  There's some nice shots in both of those movies.

Melllvar

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« Reply #36 on: 08-02-2004 23:35 »

I'd give two thumbs up to Patricia Arquette in David Lynch's Lost Highway.
evan

Urban Legend
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« Reply #37 on: 08-02-2004 23:46 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Melllvar:
I saw the Blair Witch one (The Erotic Witch Project - which I rented out, er, for a laugh [ahem!]), that was hilarious!

My friends and I rented a similar film like that, just for curiosity's sake: "The Blonde Bytch Project," I think?

Bender: "Try this, kids at home!
Warning: do not try this at home
Nixorbo

UberMod
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« Reply #38 on: 08-02-2004 23:46 »
« Last Edit on: 08-02-2004 23:46 »

@Melll: Up her what?
Melllvar

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« Reply #39 on: 08-03-2004 00:04 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by evan:
 My friends and I rented a similar film like that, just for curiosity's sake: "The Blonde Bytch Project," I think?

Isn't there one called The Bare Tits Project also?

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nixorbo:
@Melll: Up her what?

There's that Bloodhound Gang lyric:

"...Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up..."
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