IT STINKS!!! ...or not.

[Reply #600 on:]

A couple days ago I saw 장화, 홍련 (aka A Tale of Two Sisters), a late entry in the recent wave of Asian horror movies.  Yet again people are declaring it the scariest movie ever made.  (Stop doing that, darn it.)  But like most of these movies, it just has a few moments and isn't a constant scare-fest.

The story concerns two sisters who, after being away for a while, return home to live with their father and their evil stepmother.  But weird, ghostly things are happening at their house, and their stepmother might want to kill them.

The problem with the movie is the plot twists.  There's one that's fairly predictable, but late in the movie there's another, which is one too many, at least the way it's handled here.  I'll explain:

Show spoiler

Okay, the first plot twist reveals that one of the sisters is actually dead, but the other sees her and seems to think she's alive, though she knows the way she died.  It isn't clear if she's a ghost or a hallucination.  But then comes the other plot twist: the living sister has a split personality, and sometimes she acts like the stepmother.  You see, the stepmother isn't actually at the house, it's just the father and one sister.  Sometimes she is the stepmother, sometimes she imagines the two personalities interacting.  And in the end we find out the house really is haunted.  Or something.

Anyway, the movie is well photographed, and what scares it has are well done: it can make an opening door seem incredibly creepy.  But the creepy bits aren't enough to hold up the lacking story, and the plot twists don't help.  You can miss this one.

[Reply #601 on:]

Well, I've decided to check out a foreign horror movie myself, the results are slightly disappointing.

Toter Dezember
A German horror flick about a family that checks into a hotel on Christmas eve. Storms have made it so they can't make it to home in time for Christmas so they'll have to work with what they have. The innkeeper is some sort of weird cult person and decides to use the family in some sort of evil ceremony with him and a bunch of his nerdy friends. The innkeeper tries to get each family member seperated from the others so the other cult members can knock them off one by one. They manage to knock off the bitchy teenage daughter and the creepy uncle before the father realizes what's going on. He finds a huge room undergroud filled with corpses, buckets of blood, Satanic books, etc. Then there's some really weird scene with him finding his daughter's body and kissing her and then he starts to cut her...
yeah, I don't like to think about that scene.
The ending is pretty anti-climatic.

Show spoiler

Father finds innkeeper, killd him with some sword he finds in the underground room, they all live somewhat happily ever after.

It's a good thing this movie had English subtitles because
1. I cannot speak German well.
2. The audio was horrible and staticy.
The subtitles were okay with the occasional Engrish. Examples: "You think Otto am dead?" and "How I despise man with hat."
Personally, I think he's just jealous of that guy's hat. It's like a Satanic version of the Pope's hat.
Even the subtitles couldn't be read sometimes because the video was horrible. No amount of tracking change could fix it.
Other then the video and audio, this film was mediocre in every way. It had an anti-climatic ending, but fortunately the rest of the movie doesn't pull you in enough to really care.
C
I'd recommend this to anyone who likes the entire Psycho series, but it's really hard to find and I borrowed it off a friend who's really into the horror movie industry.

Toter Dezember is probably better then Donnie Darko 2 is going to be, which will probably be the next film I review.
Info on Donnie Darko 2 can be found here:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0026680/

[Reply #602 on:]

Everything you always wanted to know about sex* *but was afraid to ask

A funny look at our little perversions, and some questions may be answered for some of you (most unlikely). Its segmented into several parts, much like the style of 'The Meaning of Life'. Woody Allen is great as the Royal Fool in the first part, as with other roles in the movie. Though it does lose its energy after awhile, but soon picks it back up at unexpected moments.

Woody Allen has a fantastic comedic approach - he makes you think alittle then laugh out loud.

'The key, the key to open the latch, to get to her snatch'   

B+

[Reply #603 on:]

Northfork

A wonderful movie about leaving behind things in life and moving into higher ground. The Polish brothers made a very surreal movie with an interesing script and some great performances from the likes of Nick Nolte, Darryl Hannah and Anthony Edwards. Having said that ,this movie is not for everyone. It moves at a slow pace and requires certain affection for fantasy and for the surreal.

Magnolia

I finally watched this movie, directed by p.t. Anderson, and I found it to be great. The movie is very long (3 hours and 8 minutes) and some parts drag a little bit, but I found the script very enjoyable and the performances are nothing short of excellent, especially Tom Cruise, William H. Macy, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and John C. Reilly (but really, everyone's great). If you don't mind long movies, then this is a very good option for a rainy Saturday afternoon (or any time really).

[Reply #604 on:]

 

Originally posted by OC_James:
Toter Dezember is probably better then Donnie Darko 2 is going to be, which will probably be the next film I review.
Info on Donnie Darko 2 can be found here:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0026680/

Donnie Darko 2? Are you serious? How would that even work? Is this some kind of joke?

[Reply #605 on:]

That movie looks great. Sean Connery!! The Rock!! Hugh Jackman!! I'm so excited!!!

[Reply #606 on:]

Is that for serious?  Or did someone hack the IMDb?

EDIT: Well, seeing as how all the links point to a website called  www.spoonfed.biz,  I'd say I was right the second time.  Also, I'd like to say in advance I have not visited this spoonfed site and take no responsibility for what (if anything) happens when you do. 

[Reply #607 on:]

 

Originally posted by OC_James:
Toter Dezember is probably better then Donnie Darko 2 is going to be, which will probably be the next film I review.
Info on Donnie Darko 2 can be found here:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0026680/

Yeah, I'm really really sure that's going to be a real movie. With The Rock as Frank the Rabbit. It looks like someone's had a bit of fun with IMDB.

[Reply #608 on:]

Haha. Man, that's great.

Peter Pan

Peter Pan is a homosexual.

I give it one star out of five.

[Reply #609 on:]

Not gay enough for you?

[Reply #610 on:]

..........correct.

[Reply #611 on:]

Torque

Ok, to the point. This film is stupid, pointless and pretty pretentious. But, no matter how much I didn't like it's CGI or it's story or the fact that you can have a chase at 250 miles an hour on LA. streets, It was actually a fun flick. Not so much fun that I have to reccomend it. The chase at the end was obviously fake, yet a pounding on the senses. Leave Your brain at the door, better yet, at your house if you decide to see the movie.

Overall: C

Chasing Liberty

I really hate to say this, But it actuall is a better movie then Torque. Of course, that's not saying much. Jeremy Piven steals the show as a secret service agent tracking down Anna(Mandy Moore) with his partner. Some of the film was fine and dandy with all this happy stuff happening. And it follows the usual teen movie formula. Overall, not a bad movie.

Overall: B-

[Reply #612 on:]

Video Drome

Guy goes crazy for coco puffs and goes on killing spree. It's like the movie "The Ring" with gore.

C+

[Reply #613 on:]

Worst review ever.

[Reply #614 on:]

I've read worse.

[Reply #615 on:]

me too

[Reply #616 on:]

I just saw The Ox-Bow Incident on DVD.  Good movie.  But I'm surprised they didn't get commentary or at least an interview with Henry Morgan, since he's in nearly every scene and might literally be the only person involved with the movie who's still alive.

[Reply #617 on:]

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie

Am I a sellout? Or just a nerd?

The answer is probably both. Because damn it, I loved Cowboy Bebop: The Movie. The opening was great, and the ending was great, and it only lost me a couple of times in between. All the characters from the show were here and as loveable as ever. (note: I've only seen a few episodes of the show)

The animation/direction was really cool and creative, and stuff. I love the butterfly-filled POV shots, of people who have been infected.

So yeah, it's time to stop being an anime snob, and embrace this whole deal. I am going to dress up as Ed for the next anime convention I go to.

[Reply #618 on:]

Win a date with Tad Hamilton

Yes i am aware that this is a chick flic, but seeing as how i am a chick, that makes me intitled. Anyway. This movie was freakin adorable. And i thought the dialogue was rather clever for the most part.

Mindless Fluff date movie  B+

Butterfly Effect

There is a scene involving a baby and a scene involving a dog that has left me traumatized. I was squirming around in my seat and as the desensitived blood-whore that i am, that's not something i normally do. But this was an awesome movie. Kutcher did a much better job playing a serious part then i was expecting.

Mind Trip A+

[Reply #619 on:]

True Romance
1993
starring...Christian Slater, Patrica Arquette, Christopher Walken, James Gandolfini, etc.

Okay, in the time between "Reservoir Dogs" and "Pulp Fiction," Quentin Tarantino wrote a screenplay in order to finance his directing. This is said screenplay, and it's all that you could expect from Tarantino. Snappy dialogue, gratuitious violence, and a supporting cast that includes half of Hollywood (see Pitt, Brad; Rappaport, Michael; Pinchot, Bronson; Hopper, Dennis, just to name a few...) While the subject matter has become a little bit trite in the past ten years, this set the standard for '90s' crime flicks. I strongly recommend finding this, but, be warned...this movie is incredibly bloody. That statement comes from someone who thought "Battle Royale" wasn't gory enough. Just fair warning.

Grade: A-

[Reply #620 on:]

Along Came Polly

Ben Stiller plays (forgot name), he gets married to Lisa (Debra Messing, Will and Grace) then about 15-minutes into the movie, while on their honeymoon, Stiller discovers his new wife in bed with their scuba instructor, played by Hank Azaria. Obviously this angers Stiller's character enough to file for divorce, then while at a party with a friend, he meets Polly (Jennifer Aniston) The plot degenerates from there with him falling in love with Aniston's character and his ex-wife wanting him back.
Standard comedy flick, contains a few chuckle-worthy moments but nothing laugh out loud funny.
If you want to see it, I reccomend waiting a few months until it comes out on video/DVD.

+ 2 for a few funny moments
+ 1 for the always funny Hank Azaria
+ 0.0001 for Jennifer Aniston

Final Score: 3.0001/5   C

[Reply #621 on:]

Big Fish
Saw this tonight, it was fantastic. While it was funny, it was also touching at the same time. These two qualites coming together is something that's severly lacking in many movies today. But then again Tim Burton has a quality that is severly lacking in many directors today, and that's vision. Tim Burton's vision is what makes this such a great movie.

4.5/5

[Reply #622 on:]

Cabin Fever

The ultimate dumb-kids-in-the-woods-being-terrorized movie, inasmuch as you will never find dumber kids.  The movie's been sadly overhyped thanks to Peter "Braindead" Jackson's rave for it, which set my expectations too high.  Still, it's not a bad horror film, with one of the best closing jokes I can recall.

Rating: B-

[Reply #623 on:]

I thought Cabin Fever was good, in a way of a homage-horror film can go. Its nice to see someone in hollywood (  ) actually trying to pay tribute to the genre, rather than to destroy it.

It might be just me, but I hate big-budget & the thousands of people behind the scenes (you dont need costume designer, make-up artists, assisants, 2nd assistants, extra camera operators, dolly grips, best boy grips, catering etc- fucking waste of money, do it your fucking self or use the cast when their not on screen).

[Reply #624 on:]

Freddy Vs. Jason(DVD)

I liked this one. The final 20 minutes are a blast! It's a good thing the MPAA didn't touch this or it would've been editing city for the violence. The teens were silly as always and the nudity was uneccecary. But the Freddy and Jason moments were the best. I'm sure the sequel will have a bigger, gorier and longer fight.

Score: B+

Paycheck

Finally saw this in theaters. Overall, pretty good. The action scenes were the best and the final death at the end was really funny!

Show spoiler

One of the bad guy looks into his future and sees himself begining to run away from the machine but then the machine blows up in his face and he flys away. After seeing this he turns around to run away but then the machine blows up in his face and he flys away. Comic Genius.

Score: B

Cabin Fever

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb!
It was a very stupid movie. The scares were cheep, the gore was WAY too much(It was all over the place! At least Freddy Vs. Jason had a reason! ) The movie should've been called "What Not To Do In A Horror Movie 101". A stupid movie that only die-hard horror fans who are doing a horror movie marathon should watch.

Score: D

Show spoiler

Ps.: Everyone Dies.

[Reply #625 on:]

 

Originally posted by eggsandwich:
It might be just me, but I hate big-budget & the thousands of people behind the scenes (you dont need costume designer, make-up artists, assisants, 2nd assistants, extra camera operators, dolly grips, best boy grips, catering etc- fucking waste of money, do it your fucking self or use the cast when their not on screen).

So not true. Everyone that's there is there for a reason. Let's stick with a horror movie. Costume designers find and maintain every outfit on every character. Since movies are filmed out of order if the first shot of the day is of the cast right after they ran through a raining forest and one fell in the mud but they havn't actually shot that part yet, the costume designer will dirty and tear up some spare copies of the casts costumes and then keep track to make sure all the holes and blood stains are in the right spots. In the lord of teh rings, during Gollums transformation costume designers would 'age' smeagols clothing to mimic years of wear and tear. But back to horror films. Makeup artists don't just do glamour makeup on the stars, they do blood/bruises and such too, which i'm assuming you would want in a horror film. And then they have to constantly touch up this makeup throughout the day. Extra camera operators: allows you to film a scene from several different angles at once instead of running teh scene over and over again, it also allows the director to send a 2nd unit out to film at a different location so that you can get 2 scenes out of the way at the same time. And you definetely definetely 100% of the time need catering. You have over a hundred people on set, if you don't feed them their energy lags and they get less productive. Catering isn't about fancy meals or anything like that. it's about having food accessable on set. Chips and hotdogs count as catering. And you can't just use the actors to fill in for these spots either. If you don't care if your blood makeup effects are lame or if the costumes match scene to scene, then you need makeup artists and costume designers. Arri cams are expensive and you need to be certified before any film company in their right mind would let you touch one. besides not just everyone can work a camera. They stuck me behind an arri in one of my cam labs and i sucked ass. If you want a decent picture then you want the proffesional camera operators. And according to several of my teachers who have been on low budget film shoots: if you don't have catering, or if you have bad catering, don't be surprised of some of your cast/crew don't show up the next day to work. If there are no contracts and the crew aren't getting paid, if you don't keep them happy they won't show up.

[Reply #626 on:]

...I saw Cabin Fever in theaters for the same reason many other people did... to see Rider Strong. Where's the rest of the Boy Meets World cast nowadays?

Anyway, the movie was adequate. The characters were incredibly, mind-bogglingly stupid, but I still believed it. We've all gone to school with idiots like these. But the movie isn't dumb people alone, it's dumb people dying...and in this one, they had some undesirable demises. It was more than gross. I think a certain scene involving personal grooming takes the cake. This movie had some funny lines, but far more gore than plot. Still, that leaves it easily better than the Halloween-Resurrection-type movies... that last Halloween was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. This one gets a C.

Oh, yes, I'm not bothered by gore and violence. Kill Bill was great. This really was grotesque...

[Reply #627 on:]

House of the dead(my 2 word review)

Don't ask.

Grade: F

Show spoiler

STUPID!STUPID!STUPID!STUPID!STUPID! I PAID RENTAL MONEY TO SEE THIS CRAPPY-ASS MOVIE THAT SPLICES VIDEO GAME FOOTAGE WITH THE MOVIE(I'M NOT KIDDING!)! AND THERE'S BULLET TIME EVERY MINUTE DURING THE BIG GUN FIGHT! THE ONLY GOOD PART WAS WHEN ONE OF THE CHICKS JUMPS IN THE AIR AND BLOWS A ZOMBIE AWAY WITH A SHOTGUN! I FELT LIKE I WAS WAISTING AWAY IN FRONT OF THIS MOVIE LIKE I WAS A ZOMBIE MYSELF! SAVE YOUSELF! DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!

[Reply #628 on:]

So... I take it you didn't like the movie , then?

Oh, has anyone seen that comic book movie with Mark Hamill and Billy West? I think it's called Comic Book: The Movie (go figure...). Is it worth looking for?

[Reply #629 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ranadok:

Oh, has anyone seen that comic book movie with Mark Hamill and Billy West? I think it's called Comic Book: The Movie (go figure...). Is it worth looking for?

Yeah I've seen it. Definitely worth checking out, although I had expected it to be more biting than it turned out to be. Maybe that's because it wasn't tightly scripted, but mostly ad-libbed. As far as mockumentaries go, it's not quite up to par with Spinal Tap or Forgotten Silver IMO.

Still fun to watch, with lots of cameos including Matt Groening, Kevin Smith, Ray Harryhausen and Bruce Campbell. Nice to see Billy West in action too. 

[Reply #630 on:]

Is that new "Folk Spinal Tap": A Mighty Wind any good?

C'mon, someone review it or I'll shave all my body hair off and send you the hair in an envelope!!

[Reply #631 on:]

I heard it's good. Not as funny as Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman or Spinal Tap, but still it delivers laughs. Also, the songs are great. Buy the CD!!!! Now!!!!

[Reply #632 on:]

Ah ah ah, movie first, illegal downloads later! 

Are Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman by the same guys?
I've never even heard of them.

[Reply #633 on:]

Michael McKean, Christopher Guest,and Harry Shearer acted in This is Spinal Tap (The first two also wrote the movie). Then, Christopher Guest directed Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show and A Mighty Wind with McKean, Shearer and a bunch of other fine comedic performers including Eugene Levy who co-wrote those last three movies.

[Reply #634 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ranadok:
So... I take it you didn't like the movie , then?

Yep.

[Reply #635 on:]

Bowling for Columbine

Now there was a lot of hype surrounding this film. So i choose to wait a while, hoping this would make my opion a little more objective. After watching it I do not believe it is possible for me to be anything but subjective.

This film did alot to me. It made me laugh but it also made me sick to my stomach. Both of which made me thing alot about the subject matter. The main thing that ammused me is that those who where considered to be dangerous influences (Maryln manson, Matt Stone), seemed to make far more sense than those who are "try to protect America". One of the main things that made me sick is how certain parts of the American community are treaty with such contempt. To me America looks less free than it claims.

Mr Moore raises alot of interesting points in this film. I must say it is probably one of the best documentries I have probably seen.

Believe the hype. This is a great film.
A

[Reply #636 on:]

The Big Bounce

    

[Reply #637 on:]

I assume those are tears of joy, Jeff.

[Reply #638 on:]

Amelie

It's a little difficult to describe this French film.  It's about an eccentric, somewhat introverted girl who decides she's going to help others.  If you want to see a fun movie with a good story that will leave you feeling good at the end without any trite crap, check out this movie.  The beautiful cinematography of this film is easy on the eyes too.

[Reply #639 on:]

i agree with Bankrupt. Amelie was really good. Visually it's gorgeous and it has a roaming gnome.