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Author Topic: Cliches  (Read 1622 times)
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Just Chris

Urban Legend
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« on: 01-02-2002 14:52 »

List all the movie and TV cliches (including stuff like quotes and stereotypes) that you can think of. The stranger, the better.

-When a helicopter gets hit by a firearm/missle, it most certainly blows up if it contains a villain. If it contains a hero, the aircraft will dive out of control, giving him time to land to safety.
-Elevator doors always open instantly, unless you're being chased by a monster or stalker.
-You can hear the audio part of the tape being rewound, and freeze frames always look clear.
Kryten

Space Pope
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« Reply #1 on: 01-02-2002 15:06 »

Movie couples always meet in some sort of cute way (the hero bumps into the heroine, knocking her over and spilling her groceries, for ex.)
Roger Ebert has dubbed this the "Meet Cute".
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #2 on: 01-02-2002 15:12 »

In high school movies, the girl protagonist that can't seem to get a date for the prom will have most of the guys asking her out if it was in real life.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #3 on: 01-02-2002 15:43 »

In James Bond movies, nobody who has a gun can aim it properly, and people who have never used a gun before turn out to be excellent marksmen/women

If it's a million to one chance, or a stupid idea, you just know thstit'll work. If it's a sensible, well-rounded plan, something will go wrong.
Zed 85

Space Pope
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« Reply #4 on: 01-02-2002 16:17 »

Eg: In Goldeneye the Russian soldiers (and enemy soldiers everywhere really) firing at Bond from underneath him always just hit right behind him - none of them figure out in the 15 seconds of that sequence to aim their Kalashnikovs just that bit forward of Bond...
Otis P Jivefunk

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #5 on: 01-02-2002 16:29 »

Disney films always end happily, the majority romanticly too.
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #6 on: 01-02-2002 16:36 »

The female heroine(s) in Disney movies all just happen to have extremely large breasts.
(Am I the only one to notice this?)
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
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« Reply #7 on: 01-02-2002 17:02 »

In a James Bond movie when Bond really dies.
VelourFog

Space Pope
****
« Reply #8 on: 01-02-2002 17:04 »

in high school movies the actors are college aged, at the youngest.

Girls can all be sexy, if only they'd take off their glasses.

Weird girls are always the "friend" to the leading lady
Otis P Jivefunk

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #9 on: 01-02-2002 17:05 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Chump:
The female heroine(s) in Disney movies all just happen to have extremely large breasts.
(Am I the only one to notice this?)

Yeh I noticed that too, especially the Disney films from the late 80s and the 90s. Is it just me or is that female from Hercules sexy?
ShineyMetal@$$

Bending Unit
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« Reply #10 on: 01-02-2002 17:18 »

In any movie, bad guys suck at fighting, if its like 100 to 1 , the good guy will still kick all their asses, even if they all have guns, they'll just miss him, and he'll peg them off every shot.
VelourFog

Space Pope
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« Reply #11 on: 01-02-2002 17:22 »

it's just you, Otis  tongue
The Baz

Bending Unit
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« Reply #12 on: 01-02-2002 17:52 »

Seemingly small attacks or explosions can explode gigantic starships in most space movies.  It wouldn't even explode in the vaccum of space... but I guess it is no fun watching a crumpling soundless implosion  smile

That women on Hercules was drawn very... provacatively.  I noticed her waist was about 3 inches and breast DD and big hair and lips.  Sheesh Disney was really playing the sex appeal card w/ her and many others *cough* Esmerelda?  Then again Tarzan was practically nude running around.... 
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #13 on: 01-02-2002 19:09 »

Noticably white guys who use karate to kick the crap out of asian drug dealers.

Or the lowest of the low: A group of 10 bad guys attack the hero. They attack one at a time, waiting for the guy ahead to get beat up before taking their turn.
VelourFog

Space Pope
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« Reply #14 on: 01-02-2002 20:21 »
« Last Edit on: 01-02-2002 20:21 »

The girl in Hercules was "Meg." 

Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #15 on: 01-02-2002 21:00 »

Enemy soldiers are always storm troopers - aka couldn't hit the broad side of a barn

Infinite ammo cheats are always on, and one-hit kills are in effect

Even a gun shot in a non-vital area will kill you
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
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« Reply #16 on: 01-02-2002 22:41 »

In movies where the girl has to be 'made over' ala my fair lady, the girl is always extremely pretty before the make over.
It seems logical when fearing a murderous predator, to hide in a empty locker room, haunted mansion or the scene where the first murder was comitted.
All you need to do is pluck your eyebrows and comb your hair to become instantly attractive.
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #17 on: 01-03-2002 00:16 »

Cliches created by ID4:

Any woman can operate heavy machinery and find her way to El Toro from a decimated Los Angeles.

The aliens have a bio-tech suit of armor, but seem to have a glass jaw for easy knockouts.

Although aliens possess technological capabilities millions of years beyond our own that enables them to embed secret codes in our satellite network, they can be baffled by Morse Code, which is generally printed on the front panel of a child's walkie talkie.

Alien spacecraft the size of Australia can be taken out with one well-placed sidewinder missle!
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #18 on: 01-03-2002 06:52 »
« Last Edit on: 01-03-2002 06:52 »

The Evil Guy is sometimes related to the good Guy

An small space ship the size on an small house can outrun 3 HUGE Spaceships
Ninaka

commandant cleavage
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #19 on: 01-03-2002 07:17 »

If something is inexplainable, it must be a mysterious act of a godly being.
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
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« Reply #20 on: 01-03-2002 07:46 »

The people with the rough exteriors are always befriended by the hero.
Just Chris

Urban Legend
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« Reply #21 on: 01-03-2002 11:52 »

Asians and native Americans have innate spiritual powers that others don't have.
Mitsui

Starship Captain
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« Reply #22 on: 01-03-2002 12:10 »

   
I got this of another msge board I used to visit:


The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts, so you know
exactly when they're going to go off.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

After making love, women always pull the bed sheet tightly up to the neck to prevent the person they have only seconds before made love to, seeing them naked.

When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

When driving a car, it is normal to look not at the road but rather at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.

Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son's eighth birthday.

Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before retirement.

The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

The Statue Of Liberty can be seen from any window in New York.

Every English person lives in London.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Once applied, lipstick and mascara will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors, and you will be an expert in their chosen martial art even though you have never done it before.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

Good guys are rarely shot. But if they are, they are never shot in the head. This of course, allows them to survive every time.

Cars automatically explode every time they crash
 
 
VelourFog

Space Pope
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« Reply #23 on: 01-03-2002 14:53 »

You can tell you are in a weird fantasy world when the people have English accents. heh
Kill All Humans

Crustacean
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« Reply #24 on: 01-03-2002 14:59 »

What happens in all James Bond movies when Bond is finally cought? The bad guy has to make some kind of time-spending death mechanism to kill him. Why not just shoot him in the head right there right then??
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #25 on: 01-03-2002 15:59 »

If the villain wounds the hero in his sword arm, one of three things will happen:
hero becomes ambidextrous and fights with sword in other hand;
hero finds something else to defend himself with (tapestry, chain, Mossberg 12-gauge) that can be used with the other hand;
hero's girlfriend/sidekick comes up behind villain and impales him, thus saving hero.

The White House press secretary has a listed phone number.

No child can ever be killed...even if they're electrocuted on a high-voltage electric fence that could kill a dinosaur (Jurassic Park)

Two total strangers, upon falling into bed together, will always reach an incredibly intense, mutual, and SIMULTANEOUS orgasm on the first try.

Laser beams are visible in vacuum. (space!)

You can always tell which nationality the United States and the popular media are currently most unhappy with because that nation sends all their villains to star in Hollywood movies during those times (e.g. Germans in the late 40's and 50's, Asians in the 60's and 70's, Soviets in the 70's and 80's and Middle Easterners in the 90's).
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #26 on: 01-03-2002 16:22 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Just Chris:
Laser beams are visible in vacuum. (space!)

That one works in real life, too!   laff

VelourFog

Space Pope
****
« Reply #27 on: 01-03-2002 16:30 »

Dogs dying of rabies is sad, but cats dying of rabies is funny

(sorry nurdbot, but it's true)
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #28 on: 01-03-2002 16:35 »

Hey! I like cats.  cry
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #29 on: 01-03-2002 16:42 »

No matter how badly wounded a good guy is, there is always time for a few, very emotional, dying words.
If two totally opposite police officers is paired together, they will actually form a very good team.
No matter how highly evolved the enemy's technology is, the good guys will always have a matching tool that can disable their most vital systems. Or a fatal computer virus.
KENNEDY

Starship Captain
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« Reply #30 on: 01-03-2002 16:56 »

No matter how battered,tortured,beaten,wounded,stabbed,shot,scarred,subjected to nuclear energy or melodrama you'll always find the strenght to kick some ass,save the girl,defeat the henchmen and subject the evil doctor to his own devices.
VelourFog

Space Pope
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« Reply #31 on: 01-03-2002 17:03 »

well to be fair, kennedy, in a life or death situation people usually find strength they didn't know they had.  I'd like to think I could kill a  man if it came down to it, even though I'm pretty damn lazy
Kryten

Space Pope
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« Reply #32 on: 01-03-2002 18:16 »

If a cop is two days away from retirement, he will be shot before the end of the movie.
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #33 on: 01-03-2002 18:57 »

 
Quote
You can tell you are in a weird fantasy world when the people have English accents.

Haha, yeah.

Kids are always outsmart the adults, even though they are stupid and ugly and should have been killed in the first five minutes.

Main character is given a useless item which gets stored it away in his breast pocket. Later he gets shot in the heart, but said item stops the bullet and everybody is alive and happy.

Guy almost has sex with a cat/dog/chimp/fish thinking it's his wife or girlfriend.
Shadowstar

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #34 on: 01-03-2002 19:44 »

All teen movies are exactly the same.
Drippy_taco

Professor
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« Reply #35 on: 01-03-2002 19:59 »

I think it would be more accurate to say "All teen movies have the exact same plot".  Insofar as they're sappy, unrealistic, loaded with stereotypes and all-around lame.
Shadowstar

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #36 on: 01-03-2002 20:07 »

Yeah... what you said.
bart182

Professor
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« Reply #37 on: 01-03-2002 20:26 »

word
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #38 on: 01-03-2002 22:45 »

People with English accents are either:

A) Incredibly wealthy, or
B) Incredibly evil
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #39 on: 01-04-2002 01:06 »

Anime-related cliches:

Pilots can manuever their mechs with flawless, human-like movements and never move with choppy motion.

Green, blue, and purple are natural hair colors.

People's heads turn big when they throw a fit.

Consumer electronics used show bogus brand names, like Waiwa and Discoman.

When there's a spectator sport around, it's BOUND to be baseball. Or soccer to lesser extents.

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