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Author Topic: What if *blank* wrote an episode of Futurama?  (Read 383 times)
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Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« on: 11-02-2002 21:47 »

We all love the work of the incredible talented writers of Futurama. Kickass episodes, with only a few misses here and there. When/if FOX orders a new production run, if would be difficult to get them all back. So I started to think, what if outside authors were asked to do an episode of Futurama.

Gary Larson: Cows and chickens would play a bigger part of NNY social life.

Bill Gates: Computers crashing and freezing left and right. MomCorp would suddenly be described as the most benevolent company in the universe. Half the episode would consist of "bluescreens of death" and windows-style error-massages.

Dan Quayle: The episode would never air, nobody was able to figure out what all the spelling errors meant.

Charles Schultz: Nibbler would get his own little house in Leela's front yard. He would sleep on top of it, and sometime pretend he was a World War I flying ace. Zoidberg would start to charge each patient a nickel. Zapp would carry a security blanket around.

Brannon Braga/Rick Berman: Continuity? Who needs continuity? Nobody, that's who!! Say hello to the "what personality does they have today"-show. Zapp; heroic, disciplined, idealistic goody-goody one week, egotistic, incompetent, bullying screw-up the next. Fry; alternating between child-prodigy and Beavis/Butthead-clone (and everything in between). Etc.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #1 on: 11-02-2002 21:55 »

ANNE RICE
   At some point the whole crew would be Vamped, some would get dusted and others would find child lovers.

CHRIS CARTER
   The FBI would move to New New York and after 7 seasons it would be revealed (during sweeps week) That Leela is actaully Mulder's sister samantha.

STEPHEN KING
   Everyone would randomly die bloody horrible screaming deaths.

JOSS WEDON
   Everyone would die, come back, die, come back, die, come back, until the world stopped caring.

Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #2 on: 11-02-2002 22:23 »
« Last Edit on: 11-02-2002 22:23 »

ROCKNE S. O'BANNON AND DAVID KEMPERER:
It'd be the same, but with more plots involving bodily fluids.
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #3 on: 11-02-2002 23:12 »

Neil Gaiman:

It'd be unusually angsty for what is thought as 'children's entertainment' to the uninitiated. Plus, there would be a hell of a lot of mythological and obscure references. Standard DC comics characters might get involved.

Monty Python's Flying Circus:

Lots and lots of silly walks.

Bender: "Try this, kids at home!
Warning: do not try this at home
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #4 on: 11-03-2002 00:24 »

Sorry, Evan, but I just had to...

Akira Toriyama

Everybody's name is based on some sort of vegetable pun, and entire episodes go by where nothing happens.
TheLesbianLeela

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #5 on: 11-03-2002 00:28 »

THE BEATLES

everything is more colourful   big grin  all main characters are singing all the time  big grin Mom is a Blue Meanee, Leela a submarine-captain... etc.   smile
What up 1

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #6 on: 11-03-2002 04:33 »

Marge (from the simpsons)

Everything would be all nice and beutifull(which sucks) Bender would be a nice robot who offers people tea Leela would be like Marge and Fry would be a smart dorkie nerd.
Loki

Professor
*
« Reply #7 on: 11-03-2002 08:29 »

X-Mas story III in 3 parts, or “Dying hard 1,2,3”. By Bruce Willis.
The gang of former DOOP officers, organized and headed by Robot Santa blew up a city trade center in New New York. But actually, it was a deceiving act. Their purpose is to capture world’s deposit of Mobile Dick’s oil… Fry was badly wounded being in the market, when it was blown up. So Leela now look after him, being busy all the time treating her friend. And since Professor is already in his pajamas, no one can stop foul plans of Robot Santa… no one but Zoidberg! Yes, lonely, forgotten by everyone, with no friends and no wife (and thus, got addicted to alcohol), He has got out of his dirty residence (in the pile of junk) to save the Earth!
(all three episodes are bloody action with lots of street shooting, lots of killed, mad street racings and no erotica)
ZombieJesus

Lost Belgian
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #8 on: 11-03-2002 08:48 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Loki:
X-Mas story III in 3 parts, or “Dying hard 1,2,3”. 

The English title is "Die Hard". A possible Engrish translation would be "Die with difficulty"

If the episode were directed by Steve Spielberg and George Lucas:

All robots are replaced by C3PO and R2D2 models. The professor doesn't make death-rays, but life-rays. Bender is a friendly robot who speaks with a posh English accent.
All aliens are replaced with E.T.'s and wookies. Leela has to save Fry from a suburban cult of mutants, Indian Jones style. Also, a new character, Bar Bar Jinx is introduced.

As a result, hordes of fans storm the head museum and boil Lucas and Spielberg in a microwave.

 
Loki

Professor
*
« Reply #9 on: 11-03-2002 10:36 »

 
Quote
The English title is "Die Hard". A possible Engrish translation would be "Die with difficulty"
big grin Oh, come on, my English is not as bad...
And, of course, I knew about "diehard". And as far as I know it means "very strong". Not "Die with difficulty". By "dying hard", I mean another thing...
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #10 on: 11-03-2002 16:44 »

Arthur C Clarke (Directed by Stanley Kubric): Massive use of classical music, panorams and psychedelic visuals

Arthur Conan Doyle: Zoidberg would be a hell of a lot better at solving crimes. And Hermes, as his trusted sidekick, would be amazed every time.

H.G.Wells: After conquering the Earth the Omicronians would fall prey to the common cold.
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #11 on: 11-04-2002 15:03 »

M. Night Shyamalan: It turns out that every single character is dead! They died from, um...water.
ZombieJesus

Lost Belgian
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #12 on: 11-04-2002 15:18 »

George Orwell - 2984

There are three gigantic neo-socialist factions on this world:  robots, the aliens and the humans. They are always at war. There are always two allies who work together. Alliances often change, but the man in the street never notices.
Big Mom rules the humans, Bender rules the robots and  Lrrrr rules the aliens.

Fry has a job in Minitruth. He has to rewrite patriotic videogames, so they fit in the Big Mom propaganda. Kill All Aliens, for example, will become Kill All Robots.

Leela works in Minitruth too, and she falls in love with Fry. They meet in a small appartment above and old Professor 's whacky invention shop.

 

Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #13 on: 11-04-2002 16:13 »

Douglas Adams

Zapp develops a second head, Leela changes her name to Leelium, Bender gets smarter but angrier, Fry develops a hankering for tea and Hermes starts an unusual facination with towels.
Firecube
Bending Unit
***
« Reply #14 on: 11-04-2002 17:46 »

Charles Dickens

It moves to London in which everything is cold enough to have smoke coming out of people's mouth. Everyone wears black or gray. A couple of people never stop insulting other ones.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #15 on: 11-05-2002 06:55 »

Quentin Tarantino

Bender goes on a murderous rampage, and earns thousands of dollars from the Robot MAfia, which he then spends on cocaine. A sudden plot twist wipes out the rest of the main cast, leaving Dr. Zoidberg with only one way to dispose of the corpses: Eating them.

Follow-up by soem homeless guy on drugs:

The resultant intestinal gases carry a germ which kills off everyone above the age of 20, forcing teenagers to duel to the death over who gets control of the world. Morbo's species arrive, and let the few surviving adults out of their concrete bunkers. Fry accidentally destroys the universe.
Loki

Professor
*
« Reply #16 on: 11-05-2002 11:50 »

 
Quote
The resultant intestinal gases carry a germ which kills off everyone above the age of 20, forcing teenagers to duel to the death over who gets control of the world.
Doesn't it sound like some Star Trek story?  big grin
Ricky

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #17 on: 11-06-2002 08:28 »

Jerry Bruckheimer: Every episode would be exactly like A Big Piece Of Garbage
Red5

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #18 on: 11-06-2002 16:59 »

Paul Whitehouse:
< my avatar would be similar to swiss tony, only selling space craft, he would say things like "making love to a beutifull women is a bit like putting up wall paper, first of all youve goto bend her over your table, cover her in your paste, and then, slap up against the wall.  Once yove done that you step back, clean your brush light ya pipe and admire your handy work." Pure class.

David Dukovny:
gratuitous sex, and lots of it, sort of futarama meets hentai.
ZombieJesus

Lost Belgian
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #19 on: 11-06-2002 17:16 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Red5:
Paul Whitehouse:
< my avatar would be similar to swiss tony, only selling space craft, he would say things like "making love to a beutifull women is a bit like putting up wall paper, first of all youve goto bend her over your table, cover her in your paste, and then, slap up against the wall.  Once yove done that you step back, clean your brush light ya pipe and admire your handy work." Pure class.

Aren't avatar 's great! Brilliant!

Loki

Professor
*
« Reply #20 on: 11-16-2002 13:50 »

 
Quote
Arthur Conan Doyle:
We don’t need to use only alive people?
Isaac Asimov:
All robots are good. Even Bender, he is programmed in accordance with three laws of robotics, he can’t harm people, he can’t steal anything, he can do only good deeds. Thus he has gone mad…
Speli

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #21 on: 11-16-2002 13:53 »

Alfred E. Neuman:
Well, I don't need to explain.
Loki

Professor
*
« Reply #22 on: 11-16-2002 15:01 »

Neuman would raise from the death if he would have heard about Futurma's robots  big grin
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