Love in the Reflection of a Glass Window in Eternity

[Reply #40 on:]

I love this, OC. Keep it up!

TOTPD - unedited (thanks to GermanFryFan):

[Reply #41 on:]

 

Originally posted by OC_James:
"Oh, Zoidberg! You make me feel like a green snake's sugarcane!"

That is so great.

 

Fry played the banjo as fast as his heart could carry his fingers. He played it for his lost love. His love of purple hair and of cancer-free skin. He played it all night long for her. He fingered faster and faster. He could feel it growing. He could feel his love growing. The strings were wet from his fingering. Wet with sweaty-love. He could feel it throbbing. The music throbbed like a large worm. His pianist became more rapid. That's when he realized he didn't need a pianist and told him to leave. He was playing with himself better than anybody could play with him. He rubbed his hands over the banjo firmly, yet gently. He tried to put the end of it in his mouth. Didn't work. He accidentily hit himself in the eye with a string, which was very embarassing.

As a Band Fag, I am offended....and horribly amused. That is one of the best music/sex things I have ever seen.

[Reply #42 on:]

 

Originally posted by OC_James:
Part III

Fry played the banjo as fast as his heart could carry his fingers. He played it for his lost love. His love of purple hair and of cancer-free skin. He played it all night long for her. He fingered faster and faster. He could feel it growing. He could feel his love growing. The strings were wet from his fingering. Wet with sweaty-love. He could feel it throbbing. The music throbbed like a large worm. His pianist became more rapid. That's when he realized he didn't need a pianist and told him to leave. He was playing with himself better than anybody could play with him. He rubbed his hands over the banjo firmly, yet gently. He tried to put the end of it in his mouth. Didn't work. He accidentily hit himself in the eye with a string, which was very embarassing.

That's disgusting! You should be ashamed! I'd kick you if i weren't laughing so damn hard.            

[Reply #43 on:]

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO BENDER IN PART III!!! I know I'm stupid for not being able to figure it out, but he put his head in the microwave then shook Lando's hand, what is up with that? Can you at least give us the gist of, I mean how did Lando stop Bender, or did Bender just take his head out and go "Meh maybe later" and go to the bus stop? Gimme a clue here people.

[Reply #44 on:]

He killed himself and was magically resurrected as a metal zombie, Sp'luh.

[Reply #45 on:]

I was sort of tired, sort of angry, and sort of bleeding.

Part IV
In the following weeks after Hermes had discovered the special "uses" of Zoidberg's eye sockets he had discovered many other uses for other limbs and organs on Zoidberg's body. The bones could be crafted into birdhouses, the spleen could be crafted into domocile for hoots, and the stomach could be crafted into a commorancy for aves. Yes, the decapodian body has many uses. And after "arts and crafts" Hermes would lay on the floor, drunkenly making love to a pile of alien organs. Then they'd eat cake and go to sleep.

"After this, we'll see what I can do with your small intestines.", He said, wondering what new items could be crafted out of Zoidberg. For days, Hermes enjoyed the supple organs that made up his lover, both in the sack and in the tool shack. Then the day came. That horrible day when the neighbors finally complained of the smell and the fuzz came to take away Zoidy. He pleaded with them but their cold hearts simply didn't understand their love. They left Hermes sitting naked in his office by himself, still holding Zoidberg's intestines, which the cops must've forgot.

Hermes tightened his lover's noose around his neck and knocked the chair out from him. Fortunately, his neck snapped instantly and if there was even the slightest bit of pain, it was brief.

It had been a while since Leela had announced her marriage to Gorgak. By now, the realization that Fry couldn't do anything to stop the wedding had hit him like a bucket of truth and he was willing to give them both his blessings. He took Gorgak out for a night on the town. After a few drinks Gorgak revealed something to Fry.

"You see, my planet's plan is simple. The affliction known as 'mental retardation' is not something that affects my kind. However, it is quite abundant on Earth. It can be found practically everywhere. Retards can be found in almost any career group. Politicians, television executives, musicians, and even movie stars. There's one thing that sets the retarded apart from the regular earthling. Do you know what this is?"

"That's easy, a neverending love for cake and an almost endless supply of energy fueled by cake.", Fry replied.

"Exactly. We plan on abducting every retard on the face of your planet with the promise of an infinite amount of cake. Then we'll give them their cake and they'll eat it too. We'll harvest their body energy which will run our space laser. Once activated, the laser will make everything on Earth vague. You ever seen pure, unadulturated vaguness? It's not pleasant, but it's not very unpleasant. It's very hard to describe."

Fry sat uncomfortably for a moment. A television plays a basketball game in the background. He can hear the net swish, the crowd cheer, a buzzer, and the voice of some guy saying, "That's a lot of cake."

That's a lot of cake.

Lando looked down at Bender, who was slumbering in the hospital bed. His metal had been scratched up and distorted badly and his face didn't even look like his anymore. The doctor looked over the body and wrote something down.

"Hot damn, he looks a blind man's Jack-o-Lantern. Nevertheless, all he needs is a complete chassis overhaul and maybe some work on his brain. He'll most likely experience robotardation until his brain is repaired. It'd probably do some good if he had a loved one by his side right now..."

Lando looked over his mutilated friend and sighed. Bender began to stir and Lando got pulled up his food tray.

"Hey Bender, glad to see you're awake again. Now, you were yelling something about your stomach before you passed out so I thought 'hey, food goes in your stomach!' so I brought some stuff up from the cafeteria. We've got chopped carrots, jello, chocolate milk with the funny little cartoon guy on the back, a...rather moist chicken sandwich, and sponge cake!"

Bender sighed loudly and pitifully tried to roll on his side and Lando turned away sadly. "Why must you be like this?! Why can't you get over this all?! We all have our little hit-and-run buses in life. It doesn't even matter if you're white, black, robotic, or Mexican, but people work through the buses...except for Mexicans. The rules are different in Mexico. Do you get what I'm saying?", Lando said without taking a breath. Bender looked at him with sad, slightly slanted, eyes.

"Can I have some carrots and sponge cake?"

[Reply #46 on:]

With the term 'robotardation', you sir have enriched us all.
I can't believe it's been a month..! Well, a very welcome return it is.

[Reply #47 on:]

That is deep, man. Deep as your soul, which I'm sure is in the Earth's core, because it's way too deep for the surface. That's a lot of cake, indeed. You inspire me. Someday, I long to feel "okay" with my love.

Keep it up, OC! That is some supremely funny shit.

[Reply #48 on:]

I don't mean to sound all needy and such but....more more more me wanty more!!............and me wanty cake, so gimme the next part of the great novel and I'll go get some cake for every one

EDIT: I hope you realise that your cake is every disgusting color immaginable, including some new ones that are so gross I fell to my knees and puked. And I'm not making you a new one, so there

[Reply #49 on:]

Hello there, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for the final chapter of LRGWE (or as I call it: The Greatest Story Ever Told) and I hope you enjoy it. Since early July I have been working on a project that I must not speak of, probably because I would be turned into the proper authorities quicker than you can say "You're gonna put us all in the hole if you keep acting like that, mister! Haha! Severecriminalacticity!". Yes, it's been somewhat hectic for me and I'm dealing with risky things. My new job is both enjoyable and exciting, so at least I have that. It keeps me very busy, and I can't be bothered until at least next January. Oh well, hope you enjoy this. In some respects, this is the Empire Strikes Back of the series, except ESB wasn't the end.

Part V
Bender, with the help of Lando, cut a slice out of Leela's wedding cake. He ate it in the most messy fashion imaginable, getting the blue frosting all over himself. Lando looked at Bender and remembered what the doctor had told him just two days ago. They thought that Bender could be fixed with a new chassis and a repaired brain. However, Bender's brain appeared unrepairable and his memories had to be transferred to a different one. Sometime during the transfer, there was an accident that caused Bender to lose some memories. Sometimes, he would remember things and randomly forget them later, only to remember them again not long after. Some memories, such as the ones of him and Fry meeting, were simply lost forever. Bender wasn't too good with his new chassis either. The hands and arms didn't move as freely and walking was much more difficult.

Bender dropped his plate and stared at everyone.

"Why are all my friends here? All my friends... Is it my birthday already?" Lando noticed that Bender was about to spill his drink.

"Bender, be careful, you're spilling your-"

"Oh God. I'm just so sorry. So sorry for us all.", Bender interrupted Lando. He may have been thinking he was at Hermes's funeral again. Bender dropped his glass, which broke next to his plate, and walked out of the room.

Fry sat at a table with Gorgak, contemplating Gorgak's plan. He looked at him, who was telling an amusing anecdote of a trip he took to Mars once. Fry just looked at him and thought about what a world of pure vagueness would be like. He thought of how clear things were right now and how horrid-looking Gorgak looked. He also hated how Gorgak talked and the things he said. He hated Gorgak and was envious of him. In a vague world, his feelings would be less intense. He looked at Leela. His love for her was by no means vague and was as tense as his hate for Gorgak.
He couldn't let these feelings go.

"No."

Gorgak looked over at Fry, who had interrupted him.

"Excuse me?"

"Not even in the face of sure death...never compromise."

Fry stood up and walked out of the building. He saw Bender looking sadly over the balcony...through the bubble that surrounded the building, seperating it from space. He came up to Bender and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Bender, we've got to leave. We've got to get back to Earth, there's people who need to know about something Gorgak is doing. We have to do something.", Fry said, trying to pull Bender away from the balcony. Bender turn around and looked at Fry with a confused expression on his face.

"Who are you, again?"

Fry stared at Bender and slowly turned around, walking back to the ship. He put on his suit and was ready for takeoff in no time. On the screen facing the captain's seat, a video started. Fry realized it was probably a wedding tape of Leela's mom and dad getting married, which Leela had made everyone watch on the long flight to the church. The ship took off and in just a few seconds, the church was nothing but a faint spot in the distance. The tape finally started, and it was of Gorgak talking directly into a camera.

"I would like to thank you all for participating in my plan. I'm not entirely sure if it could be done without you all. Sadly, I can't have any witnesses. I'd like to once again thank you all and say, 'Goodbye'." Fry realized what Gorgak meant, just as the ship exploded. It made no noise, and left very little evidence, lost forever in space.

At the little church in the middle of nowhere, Gorgak and Leela clinked their glasses together as the Professor, Lando, and Bender watched on.

"To us.", Gorgak said, smiling brightly. Leela hesitated for a second.

"And to everyone else."

Show spoiler

FUN FACT, KIDDOS: This story was originally about a Mexican boxer who becomes best friends with a famous chimp that's getting married to a man pretending to be a woman (who's also a gold digger)! Originally titled Star Dark, this story was slightly altered to be more Futurama-themed. OCJ has decided to slightly alter Star Dark again, this time as a movie! For now, OC has to say "Adios, little amigos" and ride off into the sunset. Hope you enjoyed the show. Please pick up all empty food and beverage containers you have left and please don't stay in the theater for the next showing. We will have someone checking around before the next showing.

-A Damned Angry Theater Owner and a Pioneer in Recycling Condoms Into Popcorn Butter

[Reply #50 on:]

That was the best thing I have ever read.

*Tosses Das Kapital away and prints the story out*

[Reply #51 on:]

That was beautiful, OCJ. I salute you.

[Reply #52 on:]

Oh my god, that was beautiful and sickening at the same time! I laughed so hard the neighbors heard me!