The scariest fan-fic!?

[on:]

Here's a fan-fic I'm working on.  I'm intending it to be funny, but also have a horror-edge to it like in "The Honking" or in Leela's story in "AOI I."  I'll gradually post the story as I write it, but feel free to tell me what you think.

Here goes:

We see the exterior of the PE building, and as it zooms in there is a lush musical Futurama-style interlude . . .

Professor: Good news, everyone!  You’re off to the Hebrew nebula to deliver this crate of electronic yarmulkes. 

Leela: The Hebrew nebula?  I’ve never heard of that.

Bender: *with Olde Fortran in hand* Leela’s right, I want answers!  *belches flame*

Professor: Well, it all began in 2771, when Robo-Hitler nearly enslaved all of mankind.

Leela: On second thought, should we be discussing this?

Bender: If a robotic Hitler offends you, check this out . . .

*Bender bends a “Jesus Fish” into a small statue of himself*

Bender:  Hee-hee-hee-hee . . .

Professor: At any rate, off you are!

*Another musical interlude plays as the PE ship leaves a planet that has a belt of asteroids surrounding it, and as the ship leaves the scene you can see that the asteroids make out a five-pointed star*

Fry: Wow, we’re such shrewd businessmen that we finished the delivery before lunch.

Leela: Fry, you didn’t do anything even related to business this morning.  All you did was sit on the ship and eat dish soap while I lugged the yarmulkes half-way across Intergalactic Israel.

Fry: Speaking of eating dish-soap, I’m hungry.

*Fry squeezes the liquid into his mouth*

Bender: Yeah, Fry, you lazy, do-nothing moron. 

*Bender stands up, yawns, stretches, and walks away to reveal deep ass grooves imprinted into his recliner*

Zoidberg: Well, at least you were allowed to step foot on the planet, Leela.  If it weren't for this handsome shell I'm wearing, perhaps I could have been treated to a few bagels, maybe?  But instead I had to stay here and wait for Fry to share his delicious cleansing drink. 

Leela: Fry, why are you eating that anyway?  Isn’t there anything in the on-board fridge?

Fry: I don’t know, I didn’t check.

*Fry squirts more soap into his mouth*
Leela:  Yuck.  Well come on, everyone.  Let’s have a look and see what’s for lunch.

*Zoidberg's eyes get big and he smiles*

Fry: Yum.

*Bubbles drip out of Fry’s mouth, and then the scene cuts to the kitchen of the PE ship*

Leela: That’s odd, . . . the refrigerator door is open, and there’s a trail of motor-oil on floor.  Let’s see where it leads.

*Fry squeezes the last bit out of the bottle, and throws it in the trash*

Fry: Swish!  *Bubbles pop out of his mouth*

Leela: C’mon, Fry, quit clowning around. 

*Zoidberg is down on all fours, sniffing the trail.  The oil gets thicker as it leads through the ship*

Zoidberg: Where could this robot-juice lead to?

*Tracking shot of the oil clearly shows that it leads to a utility closet*

Leela: Shall we open it?

Fry: Yes. 

Zoidberg: One-eyed mutant female, what do you think?

Leela: I think we should interfere with whatever is going on in there . . .

*Leela’s arm reaches toward the door and opens it slowly . . . *

More to come later!

[Reply #1 on:]

preaty good 

[Reply #2 on:]

Nice beggining

[Reply #3 on:]

The Star of David has SIX points, not five.

Other than that little nitpick, good jaerb!

[Reply #4 on:]

Beat me to it. Looks pretty good there Zacky. Just be sure to finish it or you'll have some mad PEELers to contend with.

[Reply #5 on:]

Nice beginning, looking forward to reading the rest.

[Reply #6 on:]

I know who he dead guy is.

Show spoiler

Roberto.

[Reply #7 on:]

that's not a scary fic. you want scary? Try reading that one where Zapp is a hermaphrodite and he is carrying Leela's baby. Now THAT was traumatising!

[Reply #8 on:]

Here's part 2:

Leela: My god!

Fry: Oh, no!

Zoidberg: *weird Zoidberg scream*

Bender:  Ohhhh, my ass!  My poor ass!

Leela: Bender, what happened?

Zoidberg:  Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, I’m a doctor, and I think I can deduce what has happened to our robot friend.  It appears as if his swim bladder has exploded and is secreting through his gills.

Fry: Oh, no!  *scared* Will he make it?

Leela: Ugh, this is stupid.  Bender, what happened?

Bender: I went to the kitchen to get a fresh bottle of liquor, and when I opened the fridge, I was attacked by a hideous monster.

Leela: We’d better get Bender into a cryo-stasis tube.  The professor can fix him when we get back.

Bender: Leela . . . *chokes* if I die, . . . . . . BURN ALL MY STUFF SO FRY CAN’T HAVE IT!

Leela: All right, Bender, let’s go.

*Zoidberg, Fry, and Leela drag Bender through the PE ship.  As they’re dragging him, he is moaning, whining, and leaving a trail of oil behind him*

Leela: There, Bender is sealed away in this tube until we get back to earth.  Now, second on the agenda is the hideous monster he spoke of.  We’ll need bait to lure the monster out, and then we’ll catch it.  Dr. Zoidberg, ---

Zoidberg: I’m being mentioned!  I mean, yes, Leela?

Leela: Since you’re already a hideous monster *Zoidberg sighs disappointedly in background*, I’m ordering you to serve as bait.

Fry: What do I get to do?

Leela: Fry, you stick close to me and don’t do anything stupid.

Fry: That shouldn’t be too ha---  Oh, oh, *choking* Leela, help me!

*Leela hits Fry in the back, and he spits up a piece of chewing gum.  Leela gives him a disapproving look*

Leela: Come on, Fry, let’s go.

*Leela and Fry set up a giant trap while Zoidberg waits casually near the entrance of a long hallway*

Fry: Leela, if we survive this terrible brush-in with a hideous monster, I just want you to know that I’ll be forever grateful to you.

Leela: Fry, we haven’t even seen the monster yet.

Fry: I was talking about Dr. Zoidberg.

Leela: Ugh, Fry, I swear, I can never take you seriously.  Now look, Zoidberg is going to lead the monster through this hallway, and when he gets close, you drop the net and I’ll hit the button to release the ship’s on-board anvil.

*Fry looks down disappointedly, and then there is the giant roar of a monster heard on the ship*

Leela: Be careful, Fry.  *Yelling* Dr. Zoidberg, do you see anything?

*Zoidberg runs down the hallway crazily*

Zoidberg: *yelling random Zoidberg noises* It’s coming!  It’s hideous!

Fry: *screaming frantically*  We’re all gonna die, it’s every man for himself!

*Fry drops the rope early, and it catches Zoidberg instead of the monster.  Fry runs away screaming*

Leela: Fry, you coward, wait!  *in her haste, Leela hits the button accidentally, and the anvil crashes onto Zoidberg’s chitinous shell, breaking the anvil into many smaller pieces and knocking Zoidy nearly unconscious* 

Zoidberg: Leela, save me!

*the giant monster, which legally looks different from an alien in the ‘Alien’ movies, inches closer to Leela’s face and growls*

Zoidberg: I’ll save us!  *Zoidberg uses his claw to pinch the creature’s tail.  The creature turns around, and, obviously furious, decides to try and eat Zoidy instead*  Save us, Leela!  *Zoidberg scream*

Leela: *picking up a shard from the broken anvil* Hey monster, over here!  High-yah!!!  *The monster turns to face Leela as she bashes it in the face with the shard.  It runs off, making a crying noise as it flees*

Fry: *from behind hidden object* That was amazing, Leela!

Leela: Fry, you could have killed all three of us, what were you thinking?

Fry: I’m sorry, I was just frightened.

Leela: You’ll never get anything out of life being scared all the time.  I learned that from the Orphanarium.

Zoidberg: I’d hate to interrupt your pathetic speech from your days as a tadpole, Leela, but my lower shell has been cracked beyond repair and I can’t move my legs.  Do you think you could carry me to the sleeping tubes maybe?

Leela:  Yeah, that’s a good idea.  C’mon, Fry, let’s go.

*Leela and Fry drag Zoidberg back into the cryo-stasis room, where Bender is seen still sleeping peacefully.  They lower Zoidberg into one of the chambers and turn it on*

Leela: Fry, if we’re going to survive, we have to formulate a plan . . .

More to come soon!!!!

[Reply #9 on:]

i like it 

[Reply #10 on:]

It moves right along.

[Reply #11 on:]

I like it more!!!

[Reply #12 on:]

The net here on campus has been down for a few days . . . I'll finish this soon.