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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    General Futurama Forum Category    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Ground Hogs of Death « previous next »
Author Topic: Ground Hogs of Death  (Read 1218 times)
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« on: 03-02-2003 16:29 »

This is a continuous story, ya know A guy starts off the story, stops, another person continues, stops, and it goes on and on.

It starts off in Bender's apartment while he is sleeping.

Bender:"  :sleep: Why...Wh...Didn't you love me mama...  :sleep: "

Then the ground shakes and it wakes up Fry.

Fry:"Stupid Alarm clock! Bender! Its time to go to work!"
Bender:"  :sleep:   :hmpf: HA WHAT dA!?   :mad: I'll go to work when I feel like it! Lets go now."  :cool:

Proffeser:"  :mad: Stupid Ricter scale! It always jolts, I'll need to have it fixed!

Starship Captain
« Reply #1 on: 03-02-2003 16:42 »
« Last Edit on: 03-02-2003 16:42 »

(Oh!  I love these!)


FRY and BENDER enter, Bender scratching his ass as he walks through the door.  They're greeted by AMY, who was working on something of unimportance.

AMY:  Good morning, Bender!

BENDER:  Pfft.  *Mumbling*  Good morning my ass...

Just then, LEELA walks in carrying a brown package.  She approaches Fry and Bender.

LEELA:  All right you guys, we have two hours to deliver this package.

BENDER:  *Whipping out a cigar and lighting up*  Where to?

LEELA:  The... *Reads the little label on the box*  Planet Ocyron 6.

BENDER:  Hey, isn't that the planet of the lizard people?

LEELA:  *Shrug*  I don't know.  Let's get going, though!  We don't have much time.  It'll take us about an hour and a half to get there.

BENDER:  *Annoyed*  You people just *love* to boss 'ol Bender around, don'tcha!

There's a brief silence.

BENDER:  *Still annoyed*  Well I will get going when I feel like it!  *Pauses*  --Okay, let's get going.

Fry and Leela look at eachother in unison and shrug.  Bender walks off ahead of them.

Space Pope
« Reply #2 on: 03-02-2003 17:58 »

If this turns stupid (as these always do) I'll be closing it.

« Reply #3 on: 03-02-2003 17:59 »

Yeah, I used to do these at the old message board, but it got destroyed.

The ship flies out of Earth's orbit.

Fry:"I bet you 20 bucks Its a lizard planet!"
Leela(while not taking her hands of the stearing Wheel):  :mad: "FINE!If it will make you shut up!"
Bender walking in the Cock-pit :" I second the motion! It is a planet ruled by rocks!
Leela:"Oh thats just stupid."

Meanwhile Professer and Hermies look at the ricter scale.

Professer:"  :mad: I just bought this damn thing yesterday! And it that needle jumps around all over the place!"
Hermies:"Look Professer, a rictor scale is supposed to do that."

Starship Captain
« Reply #4 on: 03-03-2003 08:01 »

[EXT. View - JUST OUTSIDE OF OCYRON 6 - An hour later]

LEELA:  *Steering*  Okay, Fry.  You'll be delivering this package.

FRY:  ...Can Bender come?

LEELA:  *Sigh*  Yes, Bender can come.


FRY:  Whoo-hoo!

Leela rolls her eye and steers the ship into the planet's atmosphere, where a perfectly clear view of its surface can be observed.  The planet is all brown and orange, being a desert-like planet.  She lands the ship and approaches Fry.

LEELA:  Here.  *She hands Fry the package*  And this time, don't break it.

FRY:  Oh, I won't.

BENDER:  So where are we delivering this to, exactly?  *Takes a swig from the bottle of beer he's holding in his right hand*

LEELA:  *Opens the door that leads out of the ship*  There.  *It appears as if she's pointing in to a labyrinth not too far from the ship (Think movie LABYRINTH)*

BENDER:  Oh, come on now.  That's just silly.

Her finger sticks up farther and then points beyond the labyrinth toward a large castle.


FRY:  Geez, Leela.  Could you've parked any farther?  That's like, a kajillion miles away!

LEELA:  It's only one and a half.

FRY:  LIES!  *Covers his ears*

LEELA:  Fry, just deliver the package.  We don't have much time left.

FRY:  *Back to normal*  Aye-Aye, Captain!  *Exits the ship with Bender following up close behind*

The two unboard the ship and begin their way into the mysterious labyrinth...

« Reply #5 on: 03-03-2003 16:18 »

[Fry and Bender are walking in the Labrinth]

Fry whining:"  :cry: OH! My feet huuuurrt! Bender! If you didn't steal my shoes, it might not hurt as much! *looks at script* And when are we getting to the Ground Hogs!"

Bender:"Shh! I hear something"

A hoard of boulders come running, and stop.

Bender:"HA you owe me 20$!
Boulder 1:"Thank you for the package. We must turn it to our leader."
Fry:"Wait how do we know it's your mail?"
Boulder 2:"Does it say "Welap" On the front?"
Boulder 2:"Yup, Dats ours."

They give them the package.

Bender:"By the way, Who's your leader?"
Boulder 1:"A great man that helped save this land, and some people say he made it with a pretty girl!"
Boulder 2:"He's a midget."

At the ship

Leela:"Wow, you delivered the package!"
Fry:"Yup. And we didn't break anything."

But as Fry steps on the ship, he trips and breaks his fingers.

Starship Captain
« Reply #6 on: 03-03-2003 19:16 »


INT. View - Fry is sitting in the captain's seat where Leela normally steers the ship, as Leela stands beside him, carefully wrapping his hand.  Bender's pacing the room back and forth smoking a cigar.

FRY:  Ow.  Ow.  Ow.

LEELA:  *Sigh*  Fry, this would be easier if you'd stop saying "ow".

FRY:  Ow--I can't help it!  Have you ever broken your fingers before?


BENDER:  *Commenting as he walks by*  --I can fix that.

FRY:  Well it hurts!  Ow.

LEELA:  Fry, stop.  I've never done this before.  Besides, we'll have Doctor Zoidberg fix it when we get back.

FRY:  Good!  You suck at wrapping bandages.

Leela lowers her eyebrows in annoyance and bends back Fry's fingers.


LEELA:  ...You were saying?

FRY:  *Cough*  Oh, nothing!

LEELA:  That's what I thought.

BENDER:  *Passing by again*  I'm glad we didn't have to walk all the way to that damn castle!

LEELA:  *Blink*  What?

BENDER:  Yeah.  These boulders came and got the package.

LEELA:  What boulders?

BENDER:  Uhhh...

LEELA:  *Glaring at Fry*  You mean you didn't deliver the package to the castle like I told you?

FRY:  Well, no!  We thought the little rock dudes were supposed to meet us half-way!

BENDER:  *Whispering to Fry*  More like right outside the ship.

LEELA:  *Sighs, impatiently*  Never send men to do a woman's job.

BENDER:  Manbot.

LEELA:  Same thing!  You men are all alike.  Always doing things half-ass so the women have to go and fix it.

FRY:  Hey!  That's not... erm, entirely true!

LEELA:  Please. 

Leela releases Fry's hand and makes her way toward the ship's exist.

FRY:  Hey!  Where're you going?

LEELA:  Where do you think I'm going?

Fry and Bender look at eachother, then back at Leela and shrug.

LEELA:  *Sighs and shakes head*  I'm going to fix the mistake that you two men made.

With those final words, Leela opens the door and exits the ship.  There's an awkward silence as Fry and Bender are left there alone.  Suddenly, the door opens again and Leela returns.  She walks over to Fry and bends down, reaching for something.  Fry and Bender look at eachother once again as Leela rises and returns over to the door.

LEELA:  Forgot my keys.

She turns and leaves.  Another pause.

BENDER:  *Turning to Fry*  Think we should go after her and correct our own mistake?


FRY and BENDER:  *In unison*  Nah!

« Reply #7 on: 03-03-2003 19:42 »

[Leela walkes around the labrynth]

Leela:"This is easy, its just like doing a computer maze without the overhead view."

Then Leela hears laughing from the other corner.

Boulder 1:"HA what saps! The King is going to be "royaly" pissed!"

The boulders laugh.

Boulder 2:"Lets see whats inside the box.

Leela:"I don't think so!"

Boulders turn around and see Leela.

Leela:"That package doesn't belong to you. Give it back to me so I can give it to the King."
Boulder 3:"Who the hell are you?"
Leela:"I'm from The the Planet Express Company and so were the idiots that gave you that package. Now Give it now or do you want to be reduced to pebbles."

The boulders get up ready to fight. Leela jumps to kick.

Leela:"Ha-YA"(KICK Boulder 1)

But Boulder 1 doesn't move! Leela falls to the ground.

Boulder:"  :nono: IM A ROCK!"

Leela:"  :eek:   :mad: Well, theres still one thing i could do."

She swipes the Package and runs like Hell!
The boulders follow.

Space Pope
« Reply #8 on: 03-03-2003 22:27 »
« Last Edit on: 03-03-2003 22:27 »

we had such thread in Offtopic and it was closed

« Reply #9 on: 03-09-2003 06:18 »

Leela runs like the wind with the 3 bolders following.

Boulder 1: "We need that package for the little pebbles at home, it would make them..."
He looks at the other boulders along side him
Boulder 2:"...happy!"
Leela stops and thinks about how to solve this situation.
She can't help but give in to helpless living things.
"OK" she says walking over to them.
Boulder 1: "HAHAHAHAHA"(evil laugh)

Boulder 2 hits boulder 1 and he rolls in to the corner of the maze hiding in shame.
Boulder 2: "Forgive him he is going in for surgery tommorow for...um...cementing"
(cementing - is filling the gaps of a rock so that  it is completely round)

Leela picks up the pace and starts to run in between the two remaining boulders they try to crush her as she passes by.

The boulders end up demolishing each other the Boulder 1 obviously upset persues her as see trys to exit the maze.

Leela is running away and Boulder 1 is in hot pursuit. Suddenly there is a big quake...

[Back on earth]
"Wow thats a 6, WOOHOO thats a big one" Fansworth
says to Hermes
"Thats upside down, its a 9 you idiot" Hermes answers
"Thank you for the kind words Hermes but that last slice of pizza is mine" Fansworth states as he chomps down on the last slice of pizza.
Hermes sighs and looks back at the ricter scale

[Back on Ocyron 6]
Bender: "This place is rocking like a drunken hover cab controled by evil licoin on steroids"

« Reply #10 on: 03-09-2003 09:13 »

 :)Thank you Kill_All_Humans for breaking the silence!

Fry:"Abandon Ship! Oh, wait."
Bender:"Hey, isn't that Leela?"

Leela is out of the maze and is getting in range of the Ship. The boulders are a stone's throw away.

Fry:"Bender! We have to help her!"
Bender:"Why should we?"
Fry:"She can fly the ship."
Bender:"Oh, yeah."

Bender opens the door and extends his arms. He grab's Leela's arms and retracts her to the ship.

Leela:"Let's roll!"

The ship starts and soars in the sky.

Leela:"Load up the Cannon!"
Fry:"With what?"
Leela:"The Package"

Fry does as he is told and Leela aims the package toward the castle and shoots!

At the castle a doorbell rings and the king answers the door.

King:"Horray! My Leg extenders have arrived. Wait, it was due yesterday! Damn you! Damn it all!

On Earth...

Fry:"We're back."
Hermes:"How was it?"
Fry:"I broke my fingers and I owe Bender $20."
Leela:"And I delived the package."
Professer:"  :finger: Oh, Shut the Hell up! the rictor scale is off the hook! We're All gonna die!"

Suddenly, the street cracks and something says:"THE EARTH IS OURS!!"
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