I choose my own role (translated from Russian)

[on:]

This fanfiction was translated from russian, so it may contains untranslated words and badly-translated phrases. Sorry for my very poor English.

I chose my own role (rus.: "Я выбираю свою роль").
Author: "daedalus" (also known as "eyeball", ex. "inf_guard").
License: GPL.

Chapter 1. Leela and Fry betting.

The output protocol system from sleep mode.
The reason: a short-term noise, significantly higher than the level allowed by current state.
Source: Unknown, analysing options.
Current status:
hangover - 26%,
lack of sleep and anger for him - 21%
total available CPU resources - 53%.
Objectives:
1) Hangover (objectives assigned the highest priority),
2) to about the late awakening,
3) if the assumptions are confirmed - smack about it on his human neck.
Begin to run.
System load complete ...

Bender somehow opened his eyes, or, more accurately, hard and reluctantly raised his shield with optical sensors. Morning began lousy. Not only did it yesterday at the bar money ran out before he mastered his rule, and now suffered from nedopoya. So once downloaded on the eve of the network was not expected roboson cheap pornography, as a romantic Labuda, with children's ratings, but even without Calculon! But this lyrical nudyatinu, which he, however, necessarily carried away, he was not allowed to inspect. In the hall of something fell with a heavy crash, triggering an interrupt his program playing dreams.

Long-drawn sigh, the robot opened the door to his "cabinet", which for some reason people thought the main part of the apartment. Well, one look was enough to him to verify the correctness of their guesses ... The TV went to half volume, "Good morning, insignificant little people" with Morbo before peacefully stood in front of the screen sofa was knocked down. The culprit here is the incident showed: Stunning fall Fry sprawled nearby, lying back on the floor and your feet - on the back of the sofa.

- St. Peter Norton and all his creations! Fry, what the hell are you doing in the early morning? Hey, a piece of meat, I'm talking to you!

- Bender? - The guy hardly raised (though, given his position - rather, down) forever, and tried to focus on the source of the sound. - Why are you standing on the ceiling?

- Hah, despite the fact that I'm so cool that I can do it, at the moment, I still stand on the floor. - Patronizing explained robot. - It's not clear how you are lying. Or stand, or even turn over, and talk about how it should be. That is, as a cowardly pet with its cruel but othodchivy owner.

- Wow, how embarrassing happened. - A man is able to navigate in space, he is now trying to collect the limbs and feet. Maybe not right away, but it had happened. - Sorry, I did not think so happens. Should not have been.

- Why did you sofa then dropped?

- And, no matter. Trivia. Accident ... - Fry embarrassed and started to invent excuses to go.

- Well, well. Tell my aunt, she just lie detector worked until retirement ... Knowing you, I guess. For example, bored without the one and only friend, are you asleep in front of the box. - Looking like Fry, straining hard, returns to the place of furniture, Bender began to speculate, not even thinking for him. - Then you dream was our violet-colored mutant, not too dressed, here you are rushed to her couch flipping.

- Hey, it's already been a week ago! Since then, I've learned to control myself.

- Hard to believe, but acceptable. Then I would say that there was a back somersault, performed without a net, preparation and training of dolt who does not even know the word "coordination". - Pripechataet it.

- Well, if you omit the second part ... And you say that robots do not have intuition. - Fry sat on the armrest.

- And its not. Intuition, we replace the random number generator.

- How?

- The correct answers fall so more often than you. But you do not withdraw the conversation. What the devil did you do it, that's what the main issue.

- I mean, after all betting is a matter of honor ...

- That-a-ak, so at this point in more detail. - The robot immediately fully awake. - Who? About what? And most importantly - for what amount?

- The sum? Where does the money? We just had an argument with Leela ...

- Yes, well, which bid on how much you flew?

- Bender, are you able to argue with his girlfriend for money?

- Of course! Elementary. Regularly doing it.

- Move along ... - Fry waved. - So, three weeks ago we went to talk. About golofon and all ... She said that it's all very well, but you can get by with much less time. It would just cost. In general, the more word-for-word ...

- And one thing led to another.

- What? A-ah, no. Not yet. The dispute went very exciting, I did not notice, as stated, if I can quickly reach its level in combat. Agreed on the fact that in three weeks I should be able to stand up to her a half minutes. Tomorrow is the "delivery of results" ...

- So, stop. So you're saying that stiffened and prepared for three weeks because she said that? She asked, and you will spend their free time, right? - Seemed Bender could not believe what he heard.

- Perhaps, if simplistic ..., then it is. - Agreed to Fry.

- Rag. - Gave a robot, then added, henpecked. Nincompoop. Weakling. What kind of a man, if you go on about a woman? Yes, I would never do that.

- Maybe ... But you're not listening to me. - He smiled. - The dispute was bilateral. I have to honor it - my. All honest. And while I'm studying roundhouse kick, it should learn a musical instrument and play at least one song from beginning to end.

- Bullshit! - Bender praised the idea. - Just perfect. You do something, nothing?

- Well, do not tell me ... I can prove to her that he can change for her. And it is - for me.

- Stunned ... "Change for the sake of it" ... I would never do go. I was great for what is, and change for somebody else was not going and not going. Here's more! This is stupid. And you're acting as a deadhead and beskhrebetnik.

- And she, then?

- Uh-uh ... - robot thinking. - Who the hell knows ... I'm her last month, did not know the time.

- Ha, well, I consider it a compliment to your address. But I'm afraid to win, definitely, Leela. And I have to give the win. We do not argue with the money, but the conditions were. If I lose, I'll have to keep an apartment for a month in order and cleanliness, as she has. And I'll tell you that compared to her house, barracks seem dirty den.

- What cruelty - sympathized Bender disingenuous, glancing at a skeleton picked owl, caught in the web of the ceiling - but it's something I do not. And if you win?

- That Leela the next month and one finger touch. As if she did not want to, she would not even swear at others, regardless of their misdeeds. - Explain to the courier.

- Even if a major accident is happens it on the highway, it will not catch up with him, keep with the starship exhaust pipe and stuff it in the ...

- Yes.

- And if I smoke on the bridge, it will not kick me in the head? - Do not believe a robot.

- If you will be on the bridge of smoke, drink beer, watch the entire volume favorite show on the overview screen and still laugh at her eye at a time. We have discussed this particular point. - Refine Fry.

- All, friend, you have a strong support team now! I am for you mountain.

- Thank you, Bender, I do not doubt it. - It is difficult to say, said that Fry had already sincere or sarcastic gain Leela.

- Hey, if it finds waking up next to him Brannigan?

- I think any rule there are exceptions. Okay, something we swing, we have to get to work. Going the pace. - Fry jumped from their seats and began rummaging in the room scattered things. - Hey, Bender, you have not seen my scarf here anywhere?

- What is the scarf? In the same heat, September in the yard. What are you people, weak ...

- The green scarf. - Apparently, it took the issue seriously Bender. - The heat and the wind is cold. Just do not be so Leela said. She did it then, and gave, to wear, and not left to gather dust. As she says, the gift should be functional ...

- That-a-ak, wait. So she gave you this scarf and told to wear it, right? - The robot's eyes narrowed.

- Request ...

- Does not matter. Again you call rag meaning can not see. But that's what I'll tell you, man. - He lowered his voice. - You're in great danger.

- What? - Fry zaoziralsya frightened. - What is it? Again, the neighbor above ksenomorfov home run?

- No, it's terrible beast ... You know what experienced people, and of boots too, they say? Once it starts to get into your wardrobe - already, read, all is lost. Believe me, today it chooses you scarf tomorrow - prepare a list of who to invite to your wedding. Then you suddenly find out that year-old child to have more money than you spend in the hard drinking bout. Then you do not spend all night with friends at the bar and doing stupid homework for their children. And you did not even notice that your daughter asks what they call your grandson!

- How did you know all this? - Curious people.

- Yes, I have to hear their favorite pub every night in different variations. Well, as a prospect?

- Hmm ... You think I'm scared ... all of this?

- Y-yes, of course! What else?

- Uh-uh, I do not know how to say ... well, I would be happy if we have it all went so. Yes, I'd be happy. I hope, and she thinks the same way. You are very interested in everything laid out.

- And ... - robot stood in a stupor. World turned to Bender, clearly making the path a few extra turns. - You mean, a piece of meat, which is carried away by our zloboglazkoy so seriously? With ambitious plans, so to speak?

- Of course. What do you think? And it is not evil ...

- Well, it purple and fluffy, tell anyone else. I always thought that you're acting like a normal guy. You go on principle. That's how I met one robodevitsey, which was asphalt. Yeah, but now I understand the phrase "get under the ice rink" completely different ... or the other one was, the power droid army intelligence ... And I do not forget. I thought, and you do the same. Exotic. Unusual experiences and interesting memories. And you, it turns out, here's how ...

- I do not know ... maybe in the beginning and it was ... a long time. Now everything is different. Her appearance ... it is of secondary importance, and then, it's beautiful just the way is. Her look, her voice, her hair shine, elegance in every move ... - thought he had forgotten about the interlocutor, lost in memories. - But more important than that - Leela is the best, of all the people I know. I just want to be with her. Always. Now, it seems, everything went well, I hope that it is not necessary. That we will continue together. And if everything is serious, and then she wants to make a relationship ... Well, I think I agree with joy.

- What are you talking about, man? This guy must be a lone wolf. Women and money - two things come to life, they are necessary, but they need to be constantly updated.

- I used to think so too. Before met her. But now it all seems so stupid ... - Fry smiled absently, then added firmly: I need it alone. And no one else.

- Listen to the wise old Bender ...

- Damn, next time, we're almost too late! Come on, let's go!

The robot did not finish when a friend literally pushed him out of the apartment and headed for the elevator. "Damn, since when he began to serve in such a hurry?" - Thought Bender, following Fry. - "Before he first offered to stay at home, worn out, watch the telly. But the last couple of months, as the service of his box waiting for free beer, is to enter the office. What the hell was happening to him? "

Even when they got to the office, Bender decided to clarify the point that took him all the way. Coming up to the departed, was ahead Fry, he decided to start a conversation from a distance:

- Hey, buddy, can you clarify something about the men? - Waiting for the nod, he continued. - The robots, such cases are extremely rare, but the living, I heard like sometimes ... When two people start a family, they are, like, can live together, I am not mistaken?

- Yes, you're absolutely right. People like this always happens, the couple live together. - Not surprised at the question, Fry said, buttoning his jacket up to the neck, not to pester the piercing wind. - And very often, even well before the wedding, after some time there. Although there are exceptions, like Amy and Kif, for example. Our amphibian friend for a long time to persuade Amy to move in with him, but she refused.

- Why not? - Surprised Bender. - If you say that you have such a tradition ...

- Because Cephas House - cabin on a spaceship, a volume of 10 cubic meters, in the best case. Amy, of course, it did not suit. Given that one girl will inherit half of Mars, I think, it is not the level. So, anything can happen. But this, if the wedding. And after - we can say without fail anyway, but the couple live together.

- Of course. Well, that explains ... But listen, you and Leela ... when it moves us, in that case? - Asked the robot main issue.

- Kghm! Bender ... - Fry in surprise stumbled across a bunch of leaves, threw a pair of oaths to the droid-janitor. - Can you knock back ... Look, we meet her, then, in fact, little more than a month. It seems that I have a chance. But if all this goes on, I think, sooner or later, will be raised about how to live together. That would be great! - He smiled. - But you know, I'm not sure that everything will be as you suggest ...

- Uh, do not understand ...

- I'm not sure that it would agree to live with us. I'm not even sure that he would agree to it. But it will be awkward ... I move in with her. Again, place little, and her parents can descend at any time on ventilation, why do we need it? Although, if it chooses to do so, and I agree. I do not know, so strange to think ahead ... I guess, we look for any option, it always invent something.

- Why not us? There's a lot of closet cubic meters, and you do one take!

- Even if you exclude dirt. And that all the neighbors - the robots ... Anyway ... Not. We will not be alone.

- Ha, come on! - Bender winked. - We are all adults, I know ... I will not bother you, heh, heh, do whatever you want, just to survive and I closet TV is not muted.

- No. You do not understand. I'm not talking about that. Although, if we are ... So, what am I doing? Oh yes. You know, an unusual feeling ... When she is with me, I want no one else was around, absolutely no one. Just me and her. And no longer needed. I think I saw her look at, and at such times she would like to do the same. Maybe if we ever going to live together, all the way in and out ...

They just come to the office. At the last phrase robot literally froze in the doorway. Did not notice this, Fry went straight to a meeting room. Shortly before Bender came a discordant welcome (apparently all met) and his reply: "Hi everyone! Good morning, Leela. " If you are not bending unit sboili audio filters, the second part of the sentence pronounced by his friend in a different voice. The robot shook his head, made a partial reset and a little came to himself, he went to the rest. But he could not believe that all this Fry was some stupid joke, invented to annoy a best friend. Is it better? Now, the question was no clear answer. "And no one else is needed ..." So, Bender - too?

As it turned out, the robot is still a little bit wrong. Professor at the meeting was not it at all today, no one has seen. Planning session itself was rather surprisingly boring: deliveries are not planned, because everything just nap for half an hour under the chatter of Hermes. Then bureaucrat somewhere too technically washed away, so that no one noticed. Rejoicing in the absence of the main guard, Bender turned favorite "soap" on the big screen conference room, dragged opolovinenny case of beer, a bucket of popcorn and throwing his feet up on the table. Amy was nowhere to be seen, Fry and Leela are talking about something quietly, standing near the railing facing the hangar ship. Zoidberg, when he was tired of begging for food from a heartless robot, decided to have tested a maneuver to get the attention of two men. Lobster went to busy talking pair.

- ... Fly to the weekend in Ras Alhag - this is a very interesting idea, since there ... - Leela did not have time to finish. Someone happily snapping claws, embraced it (and Fry's) shoulders and said excitedly, trying to push apart for them to take place at the rail:

- Hello friends, as well, that you've got a waiting ...

When oral tentacles touched lobster ear Leela, she shivered with disgust and without warning struck him in the chest with his elbow. Alien armor was not continuous, there were flexible, and therefore vulnerable, segment. For several years she has studied about their location. Fry is unsophisticated intruder grabbed a tentacle and loudly put his head on the rail. Then they both took up Zoidberg's legs, sending a short educational excursion to the floor of the hangar.

- ... Because there will just be the traditional racing yachts under a solar sail. - Continue the girl, ignoring the crunch of chitin from the bottom. - It's very exciting. So, I "for".

- That's great ... - now not allowed to finish Fry. At this time - Amy.

- Hey, there they urgently need the three of you! - Trainee cried, flying into the hall. - They say it's important. And they have a contract with you.

- Who is it - "they"?

- Commissioners, the mayor. - After this response, all three looked at each other in bewilderment.

Chapter 2. They are agreed.

- As you may know, the next day in the morning with a visit to our city remains delegation orcs ... - Started the second deputy mayor when the whole team is settled in a representative aircar. All three are located on the wide rear seat (Fry and Leela tried to get a closer look), and it - in front of them. Friends looked gloomy - the news that a professor without bothering consent, just handed them Municipality hired "to perform an important mission," please do not be.

- Orc? - Asked Fry. - It's green, large and in-the-axes of these?

- Uh ... well ... they are great, that's for sure. And green. But axes, like no, prefer a more modern weapons.

- Then why - orcs?

- Yes, ridiculous story ... Their self has 18 words, and cut it, they did not intend. Their home system - World Omicron Ceti. The word "omikrontsy" has already been taken, or laypeople kityanami be called awkward. Decided to use the Latin name of the constellation. But a graduate student studied less of that expedition ksenologov looked in the dictionary, do not bother to get into the atlas, because instead of «cetus» took «orca». So they became the "orcs" and not "Kets". When the plate was found - it was too late to change anything, they already liked the name. And the custom ...

- I do not understand, but we have something here from what side? - Interrupted the historical review Leela. - Baggage them somewhere altairskom terminal forget, and want to bring up here? What is it all for the orcs are?

Her last rhetorical question and found the deputy principal, because, as said deployed:

- This is one of the few successful projects President McNeal, clear memory of him. - The officer bowed. - When four years ago in the middle of one of the systems of hyper-WCT tumbled three heavily armed cruiser with strangers identifying marks, he behaved as always. That is, the person to the direct connection sue for peace, and spoke of surrender. Orcs had no idea that the commander in chief could be so cowardly, so took his words as an offer of peace and agreed to negotiate, after which it was concluded mutually beneficial agreement. A race of warriors, a lesson they do not think for themselves. But now they are fighting, not where and with whom they have, and the defense of our long positions and scouting new worlds. In essence, it is the elite WCT border troops.

- Listen, you can normally answer the questions? - Leela began to feel irritated. - All this is informative, but I do not care about these thieves or orcs. We are here at all, with it, that's what I'm wondering?

- Would not you say? - Surprised official. - You will be the red carpet of the delegation. Well, you know, reception, banquet, concert ...

The three of them stared at the deputy mayor. Such they were not expecting.

- Meeting? - Carefully refined Leela.

- Yes. About every six months on the ground comes their flagship. Delivery of reports, coordination of new goals, sharing development, procurement of weapons and recruitment of volunteers.

- But why us? - Expressed general bewilderment Fry.

- I think, Mr. Popenmeyer explain everything to you better. We have already arrived, ask me.

- Listen, just a matter so important, why do they take the second and not the first of his deputy? - Leela asked on the way.

- When we told him who to accompany it strange chuckled, then cleared his throat, and with him there was something like an asthma attack. Pumped out, of course ... but decided not to risk it and sent me.

- Of course. - She said. All four of them just went to the office of mayor. His assistant missed guests and stayed outside.

- Oh, you have finally arrived! - Large balding mayor jumped from the table. The joy of it was too rough, even a little hysterical. - I have so long been waiting for! Almost no time left, you know. All preparations had to begin yesterday. Why are you stretched?

- Not so fast. - Decided to go with the whole deal Leela as they hold guest chairs in front of his desk. - We found out about a half hour ago. Why our company? We - courier team, not diplomats.

- You have a good record, you many times to help the city. - Started to list the mayor. - Do government awards. Talented, versatile ...

- All the rest refused, right? - Immediately knew Bender.

- Oh, no! Just chose you as the best ... - under the gaze of the eyes of five official surrender. Said with a sigh: All of our abandoned. And they said that any immediately resign if his assigned orders. We were forced to advertise in newspapers and network. But after the interview, your boss only agreed, saying that he just has three detained the service of an employee, and that amount for them - a lot more than it will receive in the black market ... - it seems that the mayor decided not to conceal.

- What is the probability of death? - Habitually refined girl. It was all clear.

- At this time - sixty two and a half percent. Today's meeting will be the ninth, and before that - survived three teams of eight. You see, the custom of orcs ... If they do not like the welcome, they are not touching the performers, organizers immediately destroyed.

- We have the ability to opt out? - Hopelessly asked Fry.

- I'm afraid not. If you sever your contract, you will be required to pay a penalty that ... But if you die in this job your heirs will receive a very impressive insurance. - All three of them looked at each other, shrugging. Heirs, none of them was not, so there's mayor worked idle ... - So, it's better to start. The more time spent on training - the more chance of being successful.

- Okay, what exactly is required of us, point by point? - Leela immediately turned the conversation into action. Beat Farnsworth and Hermes carefully stockpiled mount and can be later ...

- Your work involves three stages. The first - the red carpet of their commander in chief at the spaceport, the second - a feast for him and officers, and the third - an evening concert. Here, everything is written. - The mayor gave each on a piece of paper with the plan.

- All right, time to die, so the music ... The parade will be me! - The robot raised his hand several times with a buzzing krutanuv brush.

- Not really. - Popenmeyer took his words seriously. - We sensibly decided that the meeting and the general management carries captain as the most peaceful, diplomatic and mature. Will cook a feast - a nod to Bender - and the musical part of the organization respectively on the courier, it requires punctuality and careful preparation.

- Oh, well ... - Leela groaned and ran a hand over his face. - Maybe, I'll be thrown out of the window to die to our shame?

- Come on, Leela, break through. - Fry cheer her. Asked the mayor: Say, though, in a nutshell, it's all for the orcs are what they were worth waiting for? What kind of cuisine, there prefer, what music?

- Absolutely no hard data, but we learn from the experience of previous commands, plus we provide data ksenologi and diplomats. World - a double star, but still throbbing. Conditions were just terrible. To survive, the race had to qualify, much more severe than on Earth. Their main occupation was and is a war, and the rest they need to do in your spare time. Technology - only double the military, the word "art" is almost unknown, as clothes - only uniform. Ability to fight - the main criterion in determining the status. In the army are one and all, regardless of gender, and limited only by age. Problems with communication should not be, they are usually well aware of our language.

- Yes, but ... from the concert will be difficult - handed Fry. - They are, perhaps, even in the shower did not go, and marching and singing there only drill song chorus.

- Ha, to the point, a piece of meat. - Bender Fry gave five.

- And who is there now chief, with whom we have to deal? - Leela not let the conversation go away.

- Of course, they have there is an absolute monarchy. Old ruler engaged in internal affairs, and the last five years, the entire foreign policy and war, that for them, however, is the same, assigned his heir - Prince flaunts Kel Avinu. - On the screen in the corner of the room there was creepy mug (face-name brand did not work), gray-green with very short cropped reddish hair. - He is now about 23-years of Earth. Also, an important person is his first counselor - Cher Stott, a little younger than 40-on-earth. Rumor has it that it was through his help Prince achieved such success over the last five years. - Near an image of another orc - almost the same greenish face, but with a curved scar from forehead to chin and slightly longer hair. - In addition, as you can see here, they are quite humanoid, perhaps, the growth of not less than two meters, is very strong, the skin of gray-green and pale-red hair. However, the network can find the necessary information. I would recommend you actually start cooking. At least, take care of clothing.

- Hmm, but they were not related to Fry ... - robot muttered loudly enough. - Yeah, it's official reception. I wear a tuxedo? - Bender pulled out of the breast with a suit hanger bay.

- I would not recommend it. - Said the mayor, looking at him in astonishment. - At least three surviving teams, two preferred form. And in general, do not like orcs civil, so that at the time the job will give you all the time calling.

- What kind of troops? - Leela cringed. - No fleet WCT, I hope?

- Determine. Any other questions?

- Yes, but let's deal with them later. Now, perhaps, it is time to really harness oneself. Bender, Fry, come on.

- As you say, Leela.

- And maybe a little later?

- Come on, Bender, once sitting around. The time we have, I feel, do not exist.

- Well, my assistant holds you. And ... good luck or something ... The Earth will not forget their heroes.

Solve the problem of paramount importance, and go home, the team managed only seven in the evening. Therefore already at half past seven overworked robot lying on the couch in his apartment, realizing the legal rights to rest. And you dare stop who - on the spot would be killed.

- Then we have "Crime in New York" - growled screen Morbo at 20:00 - look how ineptly weak little people kill each other. Soon, very soon, we all will show you how to do it correctly. Ha-ha-ha! - From the thunderous laughter monster presenter rattled windows in the room. Bender pulled out of the bay on the chest two more bottles of beer, one immediately discovered, the other attached to the overheated head then drink almost boiling. Hearing steps, retreating to the door, Bender shouted:

- That's right, hot dog! Young fighter spinal cord feels unspoken wish senior in rank and experience ... But I wanted to tell you that drove over a beer, and you're really on your own. Take the "Unix light", it clears the cache cool ...

- Uh ... for a beer? - Heard a confused voice. Bender even sat up on the couch and looked at each other. Something was definitely wrong. Once again scanning the person standing in front of a mirror, and drove out the way through logic block, the robot guard. Why go for a beer in a jacket with flowers?

- How else. After half an hour on the final MMA supreme roboligi! Here without the beer in any way? We are going to sit out a week ago, I've already called the neighbors. Or forgotten?

- Well, not to forget ... Hey, come another time, okay? Simply, it happened ... We're going to the movies Leela on «Remind-mound 3", because ...

- Do not you understand? But you've already seen it! And he told me that this is nonsense and pink snot. That there are only two shots and no zombies in the film.

- Yes. - The courier did not deny. - All the better, I have nothing to distract you.

- Hey, Fry, I understand that it is useless to teach you, but still ... you around a month to twist. Month! I would at this time have already parted with three, and began an affair with the fourth, and you ... ugh.

- This is love, Bender. - The answer was given so simple that a robot could not resist the sarcasm:

- Heh, do not make me laugh. Since this is, as you say, love, you're touching her already confessed? - He asked sarcastically.

- No. - Fry said, suddenly serious.

- You see. So, do not flood my brain!

- Nothing I fluzhu ... flood ... well, you know. I'm afraid to tell her, you know? Maybe today ... - very insecure muttered Fry.

- No, you idiot. What is there to fear?

- Refusal. You know how many times I told her that I love her? Even I lost count. And every time it ends badly. "We're just friends", "stop bothering me", "you all say" ... Now things are going well, but those words do not speak, neither I nor Leela. Maybe it is better? And suddenly she again says something like, "I just wanted to consolidate our friendship," or "it's just not non-binding romance, why not ..." I then ... I just do not know ... Let everything goes as it goes .

- Well, you're a fool-a-ak. - Mused robot. - Listen, once you so korezhit, you spit on it, driving a beer, and sit like a normal guy.

- Sorry, but I promised. And then, in spite of this uncertainty, I spend time with her. Everything else - trivia.

- And then ... If today is Tuesday, then all this fuss. Then on Friday?

- Sorry, but we have dinner at the restaurant. Together. - Refine Fry.

- Saturday?

- But, we've already decided that the weekend flying to Ras Alhagu on race.

- Correction, a piece of meat. It you decide. - Toxic recalled Bender. - I just put you informed.

- Uh, really?

- First, I did not agree, in the second ...

- Yes, you're right, Bender. Bye, see you soon. - Fry certainly not heard the last phrase quickly out the door.

- ... S, well ... Hell, already washed, bastard! - He did not have time to finish something like, "Well, wali for his one-eyed!". Realizing that the last word in the dispute remains for Fry, he felt robbed. In addition, Bender became very angry at each other for what he caused him to ask about ... please!

But after a moment the announcer gave: "Now that all the right guys in the company's best friends sat in front of screens, we start ...", Bender turned off the TV and drink in the company of a mirror until reset.

The next day was no less troublesome. However, the trio "diplomats" came to settle all the issues, so at 20:30 they still sat in the ship hangar Planet Express. Furnish the claim for the use of company cars, either now or in the morning no one dared. Neither Farnsworth nor Hermes did not want to get a hot hand.

Bender now leaned against the railing fencing, lighting another cigar, while Fry was just sitting on the last rung of the ladder, looking thoughtfully ahead. Orange and red rays of the setting sun shade fell through a few screens from the ceiling, and bouncing off the wall, covered the entire hangar, though bright, but a bit disturbing. However, the robot to such subtleties did not care, he was just going to accomplish that, why he was called, and, perhaps, good laugh. Of course, Leela has not forgotten about the resolution of the dispute, to postpone it because of some orc she did not intend to. Because they sat and waited for her, Bender was invited as a "second."

- All gone. - Said silently emerged in the doorway of Leela. - A professor snoring so that the chandelier shakes. No one will disturb us. Maybe the light turn on?

- Do not. Leave that. Beautiful ...

- As you wish. Well, a connoisseur of beauty, in a rack and begin. - She went to him.

- Well ... that's what, just like that right? - Fry at a loss rose from his seat.

- And that pull? In addition, I think the last time I got excited. In general, so if you can spend at least one hit for fifteen minutes - you win. - She stopped a few feet from each other.

- Okay, okay. - Fry, apparently deciding something for himself, he nodded. - Bender, overreach?

- Yes, here I am, here, don't make a noise. - Robot pointedly looked at his watch (first advance stale at Fry's) and said at the start ... Attention ... Action!

Fry struggled lunged forward. But still, he did it too slow - Leela was not worth much effort to take sides, simultaneously lightly slapped him on the head.

- In a real fight you'd be dead.

- Look, but I have since had very little time. All these delivery, meetings ... Be indulgent. - Another attack, again nothing.

- In battle do not ask about the circumstances - only relevant results is matter.

- Well ... Bender distracting me! Why he laughs at me?

- You are to blame. You allow yourself to be distracted. - Leela easily dodged another inept attack. - Give it up already, and accept defeat. I charitably throw off a couple of days out of date.

- I never give up. And now I will not. And if so? - He awkwardly tried to strike another blow. To no avail.

The next attack was faster in surprise she barely had time to duck. Then followed a depressingly poor execution steps and approach within striking distance. However, the chance to gain an advantage he foolishly squandered, as is usually the case - in this position a left from the bottom up and in full swing was riding indiscretion. Her actions were scored by reflex - get a little forward, clutching his right arm near the elbow to the side and not giving anything. Too slow blow with his other hand as well was stopped without any problems - intercept the wrist and gently turn it cost nothing. That's it, the enemy is immobilized, she again won. Even boring.

However, Fry suddenly smiled and seemed slightly nodded to himself, as if enjoying its predictability. And then he did what protection which do not develop in any martial arts school - suddenly leaned forward and kissed her rival. Her eyes widened, such Leela did not expect. At first there were a few moments of confusion mixed with stunned.

This was followed by a faint shrug of the shoulders in the spirit of "why not?", And she relaxed, enjoying the situation and not going to object to this development. Both grip relaxed, she placed his left hand on his shoulder. Fry also slightly moved his left hand, now carefully holding her by the waist and slightly closer to him.

If Bender be a referee, he would probably have started to count out loud is loud, as in boxing. But he just watched them in amazement and looked at the clock - to the end of "recounter" was less than twenty seconds. The robot was about to loudly remind their presence, before they start to undress, or do anything else like that, to see what he does not want. But it turned out that everything was not spontaneous, and Fry's plan included another element. Bending unit did not notice the guy carefully picks a free hand to the level of a Leela’s face ...

Leela did not even felt a subtle, one might say - a delicate, clicking on the forehead. Opening her eye, she pulled away and stared at each other - he just lowered his right hand.

- What was that?

- Well ... In general, one hit is ... So, I'm, like, win. - A little guiltily he said. - Right, Bender?

- A minute and twenty-four seconds. Quite right, a piece of meat. Not expected from you, I swear.

- Fry, are you ... preconceived ... Just took a moment ... - Leela could not find words such low cunning she had not expected. - But how could you ...

- Sorry ... - he shrugged apologetically and disarming smile - but I knew that I had no chance against you in a fair fight. And then, you've said yourself about the concentration, the ability not to be distracted and that is important only the end result?

- But ... - she tried to protest, but the mind does not come. - Well, well, you win. However, since the method was so treacherous period is reduced to three weeks. Objections have?

- No, I agree. - It seems to him just now beginning to realize that this project was not the best.

- Damn! Cool! - Said Bender, clanged clapping. - Congratulations, Miss cool and cold calculation! Hehe, outfoxed like a schoolgirl. Caught the simplest trick-eyed, and even with joy ...

- Bender, if you don’t shu... - unkindly squinted Leela stepped to the robot. To immediately run into the outstretched hand Fry.

- No way. - He shook his finger. - Persuasion is a deal. Three weeks of peace and forgiveness ...

- All right. But remember, Bender, if you did get one, I am, in fact, in less than a month you will dead...

- Ho-ho-ho! It is necessary to survive this three weeks, mutant. So, while I can not in good conscience do what I want.

- To hell with you. My job - to warn. Okay, Fry, now it's my chance to win. Wait, I do now. - She went up the ladder to the ship.

- Listen, “hamburger”, are you all started just for this?

- A? - "Hamburger" did not understand the question.

- Well, the whole controversy and stuff - just to kiss her?

- No, of course not. - Fry visibly embarrassed. - Although it was a bit ... I just did not have a choice because I did it. Combined, so to say, with pleasure.

- Well, well ...

- And here I am. Tool several old, but to me it seemed quite decent ...

Fry looked at the subject of astonishment in her hands. Something that looks like a guitar, but rather bizarre of translucent plastic, and instead of strings was ... light, seven bright white threads.

- I do not understand ... It's a light-oscillation guitar?

- Yes. The same technique as in the light batons, peaceful its application. In addition, seven colors, seven tones - the idea of lying on the surface ... - she ran her hand across the strings, taking the simple chord, causing them to shake and wash pure spectral colors, after which they again become white. - Too bad for her songs have not written, I had to use those, about which you told me. Okay, I do not maestro, you know, I find it easier to break bricks by hand than to manage the strings. - She complained.

- Well let's see ... - Fry sat on the top step of the stairs leading from the hangar. - What song comes as a report? "Smoke on the Water"? - Smiling, he said. Leela looked down, staring at the toes of his shoes. Obviously, it is considered that possibility.

- No. It's too corny. Something more appropriate to the current environment - she ran her hand dimly lit room. - «Echoes in the dark», will fit?

- I did not expect. Listen ... - the guy looked at Bender, but that was all happening not care.

The game is impressive. Albeit with a few errors, but it is well executed composition and play of light and only intensified the effect. But something Fry's guard. Slightly mechanical movement sequence, not improvisation. Therefore, expressing compliments laid and finished applauding, he suggested:

- And any? Well, at least the entry?

- Uh-uh ... but because the conversation was only about a song? - She tried to get out.

- The conversation was about the development of the tool and the "performance" of a song. And not about the "repetition." - Said Fry didactically, successfully imitating her tone.

- How do you ...? Aw, shit ... Okay, I agree, I just learned this song. How did you get it?

- Well, that's obvious. You repeat, not a game itself. However, technically, you also win. - Admit it. - Well, is also a period of three weeks?

- Sweeps out. But I do not quite understand about the repeat. After all, when you play, you simply reproduce the sequence of movements? - Decided to specify Leela.

- Not really ... The question is, how do you play them. Mechanically, without thinking, or knowingly and freely. You can call it the ability to improvise. Let me show you. There were songs that you are considered, but did not take because of the difficulty? - Fry asked, approaching her and taking tool.

- Hmm, I do not even know. I liked «Breaking the habit», especially the chorus, but I could not play so ... - Leela said, when the two of them sat together on the steps of the ladder.

- An interesting choice. Well, let's try together? Look at his hands, everything is easy, certainly easier than managing the ship. - He started to play the intro, quickly adapt to unfamiliar strings. After golofona any other tool did not seem too difficult to master. - But one condition: to sing, so I find it easier to remember the melody.

- But I'm not ...

- At least the chorus.

- Okay, persuaded.

Beating out the rhythm with his foot, he finished the entry, and then lost the first verse. Almost immediately began the chorus, which was significantly faster colors are replaced more often. Leela had to sing, do not be ashamed to support each other:

I don't want to be the one

Who battles always choose

Cuz inside I realize

That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm breaking the habit

I'm breaking the habit tonight

Fry did not continue, just got strings sparkled with all colors one sharp stroke. It was very interesting, chose this song Leela accident or there was a hint. If the latter is true, then it gave some hope. But it is right to ask, of course, did not dare.

- Excellent. Able to understand what's the salt?

- Yes, I think I'm starting to pick up ... but still not enough.

- What is play?

- For example ...

- Sorry, that fit! - Loud and snapped out of the corner almost died of boredom robot. - But I would like to remind you that it was almost night, and tomorrow morning we have a meeting. Fry, piece of meat, I'm not a good mother, but tomorrow will depend on you something very important ... My ass, by the way, shiny, metallic and incredibly dear to me! And you, the fear of an ophthalmologist, is also a concern. The team was "lights out." - Bender went to the door, confident that the rest will follow.

- Damn, you know how to spoil the mood ... - disappointed handed Fry. Leela nodded. - Although, in some ways you can, and right, it's late. We go home.

- Let's go. Do not forget Fry, in the morning I'll come to you, the apartment should shine ...

- Leela, please, be conscience, if only for a discount for the orcs, as well? - He pleaded. - A day after tomorrow everything will be, I swear!

- So be it ... One day forgiven. More precisely - tolerated.

- Yes, you stop to chat or not? - Angried Bender. He could not understand that his so exasperated at what was happening, and did not want to specifically investigate. - Let's go!

[Reply #1 on:]

Chapter 3. Game of diplomacy.

- If I knew what kind of moral monster invented the noose - Fry muttered, trying to loosen his tie - that would have killed him back in the past and would not suffer now ...

- Fry, in fact, ties invented much earlier 20th century. - Leela, who was standing a step ahead, turned her head. - You are not physically able to do so.

- Eh? Sorry ... But, is not it a shame. Listen, Lee… Uh-uh, Captain Turanga, may I ask ...

- Fry, stop me pin up! I does not thrilled, but said nothing, you know! - Now Leela completely turned to him. They stood on the edge of an empty airfield only three of us, waiting for the guests. The rest of the delegation met located thirty yards from them, closer to the entrance to the space center.

- Well, yes, but who in the mirror for half an hour hovering? - asked Bender, but it was ignored.

- Hee hee, sorry, could not resist. I wanted to ask why you did not choose the form of the DOOP? After all, this is our fleet, and we also meet Navy ...

Leela, though, stopped at the Army dress uniform of the Earth: the classic style, dark green cap, a tie - all strictly and formally. There was, however, a number of disadvantages: in addition to Fry's battles with the tie she had to dissolve the hair, but it was the lesser evil.

- First of all, I hate velor. And secondly, do you you look at this idiot and Kif. - Leela pointed to two representatives of the DOOP. Once upon a time, ordering a form for his troops (and a loved one), Brannigan completely did they not consider the actions on the surface of the world. In particular - on windy planets. But in the New New York today in the morning blew gusty wind. Adjutant from the beginning stood to attention, holding hands edge clothing, too short and too wide for this kind of weather. But Zapp decided to show off and stood in his usual "heroic" pose, hands on hips and legs apart. After a couple of confusion, followed by bad pent giggles and whispers in the spirit "but he has many other talents," color equalized with his form followed the example of Admiral Crocker.

- Do not argue. - Fry nodded. - Then another question. Why are you standing in front. Bender, according to the chase, the five-star general, but you're just a captain. Awkward ...

- Yeah, now ... - Leela glanced at the robot's arms, which he welded the five small dim stars. Uniform, he was not supposed to, and as if in revenge, the robot weight gain magnets all the medals on his chest, which only he had, several of them obviously recent. - Robot officer ranks are not allowed. It also marks the difference from the other army stole. So, now we have Bender uorrent-officer rank seventh, or, in terms of the army - the most-most senior warrant officer.

- Well, if all organic - chauvinists and paranoid? You are afraid that you will exceed the robots, which means that they can not advance in the service? - Outraged Bender. - I would have taken offense to the soul, if I had one.

- And here's another ...

- Enough. It seems here they are ... - Leela looked up, the others did the same. To the ground approached the ship, while because of the distance it was impossible to accurately estimate its size and shape. - Have you ever stand up equally, or what?

Leela herself stood at attention, Fry put his hands behind his back. Bender just folded his arms, showing that the term "deference" is not in its database. Spaceship approaching, becoming visible and inspiring more respect. With only the size of two thirds of Nimbus, the ship looked far more menacing - the basic units tucked shimmering force field, numerous guns and rocket launchers made an impression. Although such concepts as art and design, the author of this creation of engineering definitely was not acquainted - a seemingly spaceship of a black-gray flattened iron.

- Interesting ship. - Leela tried to drown the roar of engines, hand covering his eyes from the dust raised by the ship. - Impact aircraft carrier, called for some reason, when I switch, "Overgrown castle." Partially altered to transport troops. Is all that is found in the network.

- I would not want to be their enemy. - Fry the last moment caught knocked down air wave cap. - Although the title, though, strange.

When the dust settled, one of the hatches opened, was launched at the same time a wide ramp. Down quickly fled four soldiers Worlds in power armor with some intricate guns in hand, stood up, two by two on each side. Only then slowly started to go down another orc, dressed in something like a semi-military tunic. Apparently, all the rulers who came from the military, so dress up, regardless of the world from which they originate. Although, similar conditions explain intimate style ...

They found out what he had seen in the photo is beautiful.

- Look, his belt hanging annihilator "STROKE C-20," I saw this at the last exhibition of arms. - Fast said Leela, looking at the massive Kel-Avin’s gun. - From here, I have two news: good and bad. With what shall we start?

- Start with a good. - Suggested by Fry.

- Price of his gun is like price a small cruiser. So, the money here and a lot of really involved, so we just pay all that money.

- Cool. Then maybe do without the bad?

- The bad news is that this gun is not even a fire-fuse. If we do not cater to him - half a second away from us will only deep steaming crater.

- Without this news, I'd feel much better ...

Prince went to them. Guards have formed a kind of square with its glory in the center, each of them was a meter away from the protected person, they are perfect to hold pitch. In reality, the chief impressed much more than in the picture. Even the definition of a "cabinet" seemed to him too weak, then it was more about the safe. His guards looked no less menacing, but perhaps this contributed armor. All three of once looked toward the core group meeting men, the tall man in the form of ordinary infantry standing from the edge. Presented it to them as "the regimental chaplain Preacher." He is here, in case the orcs to win fail and nine teams need funeral, as five of the previous ones.

Aliens stopped nearest guard was two meters from Leela. Guest did not start the conversation, so she spoke first:

- Humans are happy to welcome you, Mr. Chief of Army Core. We are honored to receive you and your staff at home. And we are...

- And here I do not feel happy. - Interrupted her orc. - And what about the honor in doubt ... where you only gain these? The last time there were any civilians Nerds, now - three staff rat. - Right he said, looking at them all. - Droid has no idea about the signs of distinction and subordination to the lieutenant shape looks like a saddle on tsignozavre, he seems to have it every year puts on. And all of this is your fault, captain, as their commander. Sit in the rear, can not overcome three times, do not know which side of the trunk of a machine, but are awarded on the holiday dates and dare to call themselves officers. You probably saw shots only in the movies? Had my eye on this mess did not look. Captain, you assign the ordinary would be too much ...

He long continued in the same vein. And Fry and Bender clearly saw that Leela hard by rising rage - a tunic back stiffened, his fists clenched so that the fingers were white. She can not bear the charges of cowardice and incompetence, unfitness. And if the allegations are groundless ... Friends and almost simultaneously tried to catch her by the shoulders. However, both caught only air - she has surged forward, completely forgotten about this last night the word. Long step, jump-flip to jump stretching her arms orcs, landing on the bent leg. And another big jump up from the knee to the jaw. Orc slangs teeth and almost biting tongue, Kras fell on his back. Leela has already landed in the fighting stance, ready to repel an attack guards. However, those acted more than strange: second look at all this, the guards suddenly took up arms "on guard" and stood to attention.

- Dude, it seems they both Trisol who killed the king, and he is now in charge. - Quickly whispered Bender to Fry.

- Oh, I doubt it ... And then, she was not killed. Look, stirs. This “train” was a blow not fill up. Something strange is going on here ...

Kel-Avin really got up slowly, holding his jaw. First, he made a slight bow to Leela, and then in the earthly salute. Then he said:

- I beg your pardon, Captain. I did not understand at once. I ought to know you in a combat officer, who was not used to all these ceremonies. I am ashamed of their words and their self-confidence. You have chosen a great way to show me my wrong. In addition to the combat experience, you are also highly educated - even in our young people begin to forget about the ritual "Tar asalosh." However you spent it brilliantly, I'll tell you more - you're the first people over the last seven years, managed to finish it. Because, once again, please accept my apologies. Can I have your name and the names of your employees?

- Captain Turanga M. Leela, First Lieutenant Philip J. Fry, uh-uh ... uorrent Officer Bender B. Rodriguez. We are responsible for your meeting, Prince Cel-Avin ...

- Call me Kras. We are all their own, after the ritual ... I think this will be our best visit to Earth again hold such a meeting worthy warriors. Well, all of this will continue to the Minute ... yawn - orc together with the protection towards the main delegation, Leela went with him, Fry and Bender stayed behind. The ship began to go the other officers of orcs. - Tell me, the two of them, it's just your employees?

- What's that? - She did not understand the question.

- Usually such tasks entrusted only teambuilding. The robot then just for the support, and the lieutenant, he is your alafar?

- Sorry, I do not understand ...?

- Surprisingly, you understand the intricacies of etiquette, not knowing simple things. Alafar, as stated in our code - a true companion and closest comrade-in-arms. One who always cover up. Those who risk their lives for you, but for whom and you are responsible. Those who are close to life, and share with you, and victory and defeat ... Well, there are many more, but I think you get the point.

- Of course. Well ... - Leela hesitated, looked at Fry. That would obviously mean not just a friend ... But then she, nevertheless, agreed: Yeah, right. He's my ala ... uh ... far, right? You are right. A robot is simply our friend.

- I thought so. Well, see you later. Once again, sorry for the mistake. It is an honor that I met two such worthy warrior. Now we have a report at the headquarters of your strength, and then expected banquet where we can talk again, Captain.

Orcs by honor went to waiting limousine. Fry, Leela and Bender stayed near the main crowd of humans, still stunned by everything that happened. They looked at each other, then called Leela:

- Amy, come on, come here.

Trainee, before chatted with Kif, something quick to say that and ran to him.

- Oh, Leela, you managed just fine. That's when I did not understand, but as it is so?

- Actually, I wanted to ask you. - Leela said irritably. - I venture to remind you that yesterday you had volunteered to go with us to the "information support", and not to talk with your boyfriend. And where is the promised help? Since we're right, I want to at least understand how we did.

- Yes, just think, a trifle. I see now. - Amy got from bring-your-laptop bags, turned it on and launched a search for the network. - What look do you want?

- What is "tar asalosh"?

- Now ... Three results. You need a second satellite of a planet in the system Tau-Ceti, the national dish of omikron’s or ritual at the orcs?

- Arghhh. How do you think?!

- Most third, but I'm not sure ... So, is used for ritual ... of welcoming after a long absence, it symbolizes ... miss ... Running: meeting shall cause the guest or guests of the most important one hit, despite its safety and any circumstances. The ritual is fully completed when hit guest managed to bring down to the ground, and if it was done without the use of hands.

- Yeah, Leela, you're damn lucky ... - surprise Fry said, exchanging glances with her.

- We are all lucky.

- Look, Amy, you look out there, the term "alafar." I somehow do not understand why he was talking about the two strong men. - Request Fry.

- Well, is it with you, I am Bender - the machine of destruction ...

- I'm afraid you're wrong – said Amy. - It says as alafara - indeed, it is their favorite analog or spouse - may be only an equal warrior. That is, they believe that if Leela Fry called his husba... uh-uh alafarom, it is not inferior to her martial skills.

- Very much hope that I will not have to prove ...

- Also, I wonder what they have in recognizing relationships alafar’s united family. The children then by gender inherit the name of the father or mother ...

- Hey, “a fear of ophthalmologist”, you look, you seem so one guy selling shoes taken. - Offended indifference Bender found a new target for jokes. - I thought that the other is not so bad. - Leela looked where robot pointing is.

Near the adviser Prince stood an unknown dark-haired man of thirty, who had unconspicuous appearance, but, moreover, unusual clothing. After Bender, consider it in advance from the bottom up. In fact, the exact same shoes as she usually (now-it was in his shoes), black jeans, a thin dark blue sweater, under which clearly guessed vest. Long leather coat and sunglasses complete the image.

- Something I do not remember. - Said Fry.

- I think - he was with them. Maybe some adviser or ambassador? - Assume Leela.

- I myself after otherwise represented ...

- Okay, enough waffle, it is time to triumph genius Bender. - Robot dragged them both to an official car, ignoring Amy. - I shall personally see to everything, so go get ready for the banquet. All the same, an official part of the others are doing idiots. This technique will be remembered for centuries!

Dinner lasted for half an hour. With the first course, guests have time to figure out, now all waiting for the second. From obscure to outsiders talk about the latest transactions, the officers went to a more simple and obviously very old question: which of the professional holidays they consider their own. In militaristic society Worlds celebrated days of all arms, because there was plenty of choice. At the moment, the orcs could not make a choice as to whom they themselves are: Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps or landing ...

Bender was torn between the kitchen and dining room, personally bringing some culinary "masterpieces" and constantly giving orders and kicks to the waiters and other chefs. They were all men or other humanoids apparently liked the robot pushed around alive because he had picked up a team. The whole event was held at the Embassy of New Worlds in New York, which is regularly used in this way. Anyway - it fulfills the role of most of the building for the official part of the meeting, than directly embassy.

Fry and Leela nominally played the role of bodyguard for dyeing, that is, standing on either side of the chair of the Prince and rarely responded to his questions. They were too far away to be able to speak normally, because the rest of the room looked at each other, or with each other. Commander held the seat at the head table next to him were only two people on the right (by Leela) - his advisor, who stands out among the rest of the orcs "civilian" costume quite earthly style as well as the constant gloomy face, on the left (from Fry's) - alafar it. Last he presented as Haru Kel-Avin, "great sniper and a brilliant tactical commander." These words of his, in fact, his wife spoke a lot about the society of orcs. Haru almost as Prince in height and build, and dressed it was almost the same except that, instead of a massive annihilator was armed with an elegant but no less deadly ray gun. Suitable pair.

- ... so you do not use mine fields and do not use an ambush? - Leela knew that the Prince should in every way detract from the detailed examination of the contents brought plates, because it supports a conversation about their methods of warfare. The trio at the head table, and humans did not participate in the general debate.

- That's right, Captain. Our very strict code of honor in the rules of combat, and we follow him. Only a fair fight, the force on the squad, the army on the army. - Kras, without looking, began laser knife to cut just serves. Something like the taste of Leela, the refried horns and hooves, strongly resisted the action of coherent radiation.

- But your opponents are clearly not so noble, how are you? - She asked, watching his efforts. In general, it was very surprised that all orcs were energy or atomic table knives, without which to cut most of the Bender’s "masterpieces" would be impossible.

- Unfortunately, it is. But that's their business, and our honor, it is our honor. Code is not ambiguous. And you think that you need to act differently? What if the enemy does not choose the means, then everything is permitted and you? And you can forgo an honor to win.

- No. I always thought the same as you do, that honor even more lives. - Fry sighed softly. - But as you can see, my ... alafar not share my beliefs. But already in the DOOP, thanks to some admirals rooted opinion that the end justifies any means and in order to win everything is permissible.

- My advisor is trying to convince me that our code a little ... out of date, and I did something to agree with him, but a complete rewrite of his thinking while definitely still early.

- By the way, tell me, can I ask not quite correct question? - Leela lowered her voice.

- Ask. - Kras did the same thing.

- Why so your assistant constantly staring me in the eye?

- Oh, ha ha, everything is simple. You see, Captain Stott also heads our counterintelligence ...

- So what if I, like, did not commit any crime against you?

- Heh heh, that's not it. You see, in most members of his profession eventually produced a kind of reflex - when he wants to see in person, then do not look in the eye and the nose. As you know, with you this trick has the opposite effect ... Hmm, batteries that sit there? - Orc looked at the knife. Then he turned to an adviser. - Cher, can you cut hot? Show our hospitable hosts true mastery.

- As you wish. - Stott bowed. Kel-Avin threw up his plate, his advisers have made a smooth movement of the right hand, then swung sharply ... Something subtle whistled in the air, and when Kras caught the plate, its content has been carefully cut. After looking at the bewildered Leela and Fry, he found it necessary to explain:

- Monomolecular filament thickness of hundreds of nanometers. In the capable hands of almost all cuts. And Cher real virtuoso handling of the weapon. Show them. - Advisor indifferently raised his right hand, showing a massive ring on the index finger. Around half a meter from it slipped very thin barely visible thread, no thicker than a spider web was involved back then. After this demonstration, Stott returned to his meal. - Full length - about four meters, but only in a battle ...

- Your partner - a true master of the national arms of your people ... - decided to give a compliment Leela. Although, she really was impressed and said quite sincerely.

- Oh, no. We prefer swords. This weapon warriors Adar, as insidious as these tactics. At one time a lot of hardship, driving them back to the native operating system and making the sign a capitulation.

- But then why your advisor so well has this thing? - Fry asked in surprise.

- Interesting story. - said Kras, putting aside the glass, filled with something blue-purple, looking incredibly vile and dangerous to life. - When the fighting had been going on in their own system, the second planet of Adar company Cher was ambushed. It was a cowardly attack, but we prefer to die in battle rather than surrender. Of all the units survived the captain Stott, but it was very hard for such a wounded whip. Adartsy find him murdered. When we got there and picked him up, he found one of these rings. Later, he swore revenge on the enemy with his own weapon, and did it successfully.

- He is a very brave man ... Uh, I mean orc. - said Fry.

- Without a doubt. One of the few living holders of "Diamond crescent", our highest award. You see, it is awarded for their sacrifices in the battle, when the soldier did not hesitate to risk his life to save his comrades or doing an important task. At that time it was just the way he kept to the last, riveting the attention of a large group of the enemy for so long that we ... Well, that's classified information. In general, he and his company to the end of their duty. When the captain was taken to the hospital, the odds that he would survive, were one to three. When he still pulled from the world, no doubt, than his award, there was not anyone ... So, something I spoke, did not even notice, as we have sorted out the dessert ... - surprise said Kel-Avin, looking at the empty plate in front of him. Leela furtively sighed. Not noticed, well and good. More chances for them to survive. Although it still happening was strange. She asked quietly:

- Commander, let us discuss the lieutenant a personal question.

- Allowed. Why, heh, I know ...

Leela motioned Fry to follow her, and then walked a few meters from the seat of Prince. But even here, she spoke in a whisper, leaning close to each other:

- Look, I'm not a damn thing to think. What's going on? The banquet is over, and no one has been poisoned! Moreover, none of them are not even sick.

- And I saw one of them knocked over his glass. - Share Fry. - I do not know what it was, but it burned a titanium table and went through the floor on ...

- But the Orcs look quite happy, they do not even going to lynch Bender.

- Listen, and then he resumed his old one? Well, remember that a vial of LSD? - Proposed the idea of a guy.

- Hmm, maybe because ... I suggest on the way to a concert to catch and shake out the truth.

- I will not argue.

When the crowd of orcs finally left empty banquet tables and went to the concert hall, Fry and Leela intercepted Bender at the exit of the kitchen. Tired, but happy robot was looking as if he had just twice saved humanity from immediate destruction, and is now waiting for a well-deserved award. Along the way he took off her apron and neck, already out of habit, put it in the chest compartment.

- A friend, share a lot of the elixir went to our alien visitors? - Fry asked, going to the right.

- What? Hey, pieces of meat, what is it with you? - Bender was in utter disbelief. He was waiting for the provisions of applause, admiration and words about his incommunicable glory. And then ask some strange questions. - What is an elixir?

- Absolute taste. - Courtesy explained arose left Leela. - In these pigs, probably took on half a bottle per ...

- Hey, what do you mean? St. Bill Gates, what elixir? I'm too cool to use like in such elementary things! - Perturbation of the robot is not a limit.

- Okay, that Kras was in the glass is? - Decided to go to Fry on the other.

- The large bumps? Cocktail "Alien vs. Predator", my invention. Quarter kiwi juice, a quarter of hydrochloric acid, industrial alcohol, liquid tritium, a dark beer, isotopes of cobalt ...

- And he drank, did not frown! - Leela interrupted list of ingredients. - I'm really not talking about the fact that you gave them as "food."

- You know, girl of marginal colors, do not climb to where the damn thing does not make sense! - Using temporary impunity, Bender struggled strained imagination, wanting to make fun of Leela as diverse as it is possible. - I know the kitchen and from the Worlds. Funny, is one of the cookbooks, for which I prepared for you for the past year, has been provided with an inscription on the cover "for the Orcs," I just read this far did not.

- So, and that stuff too ... - said Fry, inadvertently rubbing his throat.

- You mean that children drink? Yes. Just think, vinegar with gasoline ... Listen, even though they, too, bags of meat, but they are real bags of meat, not that you are weak. They host it used to eat everything, they now any food softer titanium seems childish mash and drinking is not measured by degrees, and octane solvent power. And I'm proud to say that embodied all their culinary habits in one banquet. Fall down before a brilliant steel cook mortals!

- Sorry, Bender, but now there is no time, can not at this time? Concert begins ... - murmured guy.

People went around both sides discouraged robot and hid behind the door for the staff that led backstage. Fry thought it necessary to personally keep an eye on everything, Leela wanted to support him. Bender is ... slightly calmer and took himself manipulators, he went after her. At least, you can have fun and laugh at Fry's organizational talent, in the absence of which the robot was absolutely sure. They fail the concert with a warranty, but is it such a great dinner to atone guilty of boobies?

Chapter 4. All of this music, you just caught

- I do everything ... I just provided a foreseen everything ...

- Fry, no flickers and sit down. - Commanded Leela, looking as one tenth circle pulls away from the wall to the wings. - Can only watch and enjoy, you do not care to change nothing can.

- Yes, exactly, do you, as always, is right. I'm just worried. - He sat on a box next to it, finally took off his tie and cap. Bender was standing a few feet from them, lighting a cigar for the second, just below the shield with a red inscription "no smoking" in the main galactic languages.

- Here it is, the beginning of the infinite shame. - Solemnly he commented appearance on the stage of the first group.

- Bender, you might regret it.

- The meaning is not known, the module with the same name is not detected.

- Hey, soldier, today will ignite the soul! - Came a cry from the scene. Leela noticeably agitated. She was nervous even stronger when hard rock sounded, followed by the words:

We're all living in at Earth

Earth ist wunderwelt ...

However, Leela has not yet become criticize Fry, looking pleased with himself, and the first performance. But when the other team has played as something in the style of rock music at high volume, she broke down and began to establish the truth, carefully shouting song.

Brittle ice is under feet, platoon go off to the east

Shadows on the snow - imprints of the souls ...

- Fry, are you done? This is what everyone will be like that? Heavy rock and songs about the army?

- Of course! I tried my best! Do you think it was so easy to pick up the repertoire? But I deal with it! And agree, the performance is sufficient ingenuity! - He proudly pointed to the stage.

- Here I am with you I will not argue! - Fry using a method that Nixon used during his election campaign. Courier has extracted two dozen clean robotel-discs, which in turn bolted head performers-people (he rented half of the 20th century music hall at the Museum of goals) and run these bodies. Finally, it was quiet and we could talk normally. - But you at least read what was said in the leaflet issued by the mayor?

- Of course. There, on my part it was something only two sentences. - He waved.

- Wait a minute ... Tell me, Fry. And you did not think to turn the leaf? - Insinuating asked Leela.

- What? Flip, but why? - He fished out a crumpled printout, how could straightened and looked at the other side. And then he fell into a stupor for a few minutes. On the other side was the text, and in spite of a small amount - a critical text.

Fry have stood for so long, but powerful cry from the scene: «Hyper rock Hallelujah!!!» Brought him to himself. He again read aloud task:

- A concert for the delegation of Myra. Will Commander and all officers ... - coup - with "wives." Recommended lyrical repertoire. Not want a military theme. - He was silent for a few seconds. - Damn it! Who knew something? Freaks, they could not use a smaller font so that all fits on the front page?

- Well, we Khan ... - stated Bender. - Do not worry, a bag of bones, my unrivaled banquet will pull us, in spite of your idiocy.

- I would like to believe. Hey, Fry, all of a sudden, you can still fix it. - Leela soothingly patted him on the shoulder. - Exit to apologize for the pad to collect the normal program?

- No. First, it's too late. And secondly, I never gave, even on the wrong track. Suddenly, in the end he will be the right one? Let things go as it goes.

The concert lasted. «I'm X-wing, the fighter ...» was replaced «We Will Rock You», Fry dealt proudly, he was trying to convince Leela, Bender anticipating imminent separation. After some time, the courier still surrendered:

- Well, well. Solely as an experiment in the end of the view. One artist I have. Orcs recently conducted a military operation in the Osiris 3, in which inadvertently demolished before last pyramid of Pharaoh. In the cave found this shot, who had already eaten all the sacred beetles and write two new albums. Now he wants to thank them incredibly. Come on, I had to let out, we look at the reaction. Fit?

- Absolutely. - Leela nodded. - Maybe it's not too late ...

- Okay. - Fry took out his phone and dialed a number. - Sir Elton, your output. Show them the depth of your gratitude.

At the scene quickly rolled the piano, then the Executive has taken its place. He, predictably, began with his most famous songs:

What have I got to do to make you love me?

What have I got to do to make you care?

- Heh, that's you, you bastard ... - nearer to the wings Fry made towards the scene offensive gesture. Blank stares Bender approached, he quietly said: The last three years, I hated that song. And as luck would have it all the time everywhere twist.

- And now something has changed? - Asked the robot, when they turned away from the scene and headed back to their seats.

- Yes, something ... And now I do not care about it. But the song still do not like ...

Behind the back of something flashed a dazzling yellow-green color on the ears struck prolonged scream. All three of them at once ran to the edge of the wings. At the scene of the smoldering wreckage falling piano, and right in front of Bender plopped a hand. He picked it up and said bitterly:

- You died, as befits a true musician - on stage ... - he dropped his hand and said in a normal voice: Well, go right!

- Bender, are you not ashamed to be removed from the hands of the deceased and two rings? - His true motives have not gone unnoticed Leela. - You know what it's called?

- An innocent child looting, not even worth mentioning ...

- By the way, the article 8052, section 18, paragraph 45 of the Criminal Code of the Earth, to four years in prison ...

- What??? - Fry asked in amazement. - How many of them all?

- Well, for one thousand years, mankind has managed to come up with many new crimes, not to mention the other races ...

- Quiet! - Shouted Bender. - Give a listen to what they're Yelling.

Indeed, the hall could hear screams, that meant two things: "what was that stuff," and "let the organizer now he sings!" Choice at Fry's gone. He quickly called one of the previous groups, and he headed to the scene. Leela tried to stand in his way.

- I will not let go. Also want to get a charge out of the blaster? Do not go.

- Leela, look, we have nowhere to go. - He tried to convince her. - If we do not reassure them, all our efforts were in vain. Want me to do quite a bit, some three minutes to hold on.

- Yes, you also get killed, like his, than you do not understand?

- No. I do not know what was going on, but it was I was right. - Beliefs said Fry. - If I'll play the same way as the rest of the first, that everything will be fine. If I do not go out - all our efforts were in vain. You do trust me?

- Yes, I do. - Leela nodded.

- Trust and now. I know what I'm doing. Uh, well, I do not know what I'm doing, but it works, that's what matters. I was waiting for ... - he took another step, now found close to it.

- Okay, go. I wish you luck, and let you get lucky this time, as usual. I hope you're right and I was wrong. Back ... - she added in a whisper, kissing him and stepped aside.

- Of course I'll be back. Where shall I go? - He shrugged sheepishly, heading to the scene.

Standing near Bender looked up to the ceiling, grimacing, as far as his face. He hated all this sentimental nonsense.

Fry came to the microphone, took the proffered a robot guitar, almost as much, at what was playing yesterday. Hall settled down, waiting for his speech. However, he noted that some officers do not have far to clean weapons. Closing his eyes, the guy thinks for a few seconds, and then started playing. Quiet calm melody, no hint of hard rock, gentle guitar strumming, the other barely kept his keys and drums. Then he began to sing, trying to forget the fear to stop shaking in his voice:

This battle I can not forget, dead impregnate the air

And from the firmament how silent rain ...

Reaction of the audience surprised. All were silent, all listened, someone even tried to sing along uncertainly, some just nodded. Something was wrong, too good - too bad.

... Talk to us: «need the height»

And not economize the bullets ...

No song had not caused such an approving reaction - what is the matter? To justify the success of his genius was not going to Fry. The reason lay in the words, he just gave the opportunity to hear them.

.
.. On the sky hang and disappear star

No place for fallen.

Still, it was the military. Kras was the first to applaud, and then was joined by the rest. Short applause, but sincere, from the heart, not out of politeness. So, they won again. It is unclear how, without knowing why, but this round went to them. Now you only need to clean the protocol to say goodbye, and they are free. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Fry put the guitar on stage and went to the door (suddenly appeared briefly feeling of "deja vu"). Leela and Bender quickly joined him.

At the exit of the hall to the trio approached chief, Hara and Cher were left standing at a distance. Kras spoke first:

- I thank you for the excellent concerts, Lieutenant. And you, Captain, as his commander. What subtle lyrical songs. Do not expect that you will be able to pick up such a wonderful repertoire. And as the last song ... One of the officers had time to write the words, but you will then be able to give us a record, you need to be translated into the native language? I realized that our anthem troops hopelessly outdated ... Yeah, "noiseless rain falling stars" ... Neat. I have never met such a concise and informative descriptions of the orbital landing. Unless you're a little messed up in the finale, "The Star of fearlessness" is awarded posthumously, and passes to the successor ... But this stuff, we are correct.

- It was an honor to work for you, chief. - Could say Leela. She began to understand that they have once again lucky not weak. - We are delighted to have a hearty welcome to our gallant allies. However, I beg your pardon us - soon a regular job, we need to prepare ...

- Yes, of course. You are free. Once again, thank you, gentlemen. For a warrior honor the most expensive, but we can not forget about the means for weapons ... Our saying. I Insist on to your fee has been increased. And it goes without saying that you will always get our support, if needed. You may go.

- Affirmative. - All three saluted ... well, who really how it happened. Making a U-turn over the shoulder, they slowly came out of the door of the hall. As soon as the heavy doors swung shut behind them, all at once changed.

- Yah-x-ha-ah-ah-ah! - Cried (but quiet) Bender, held up his hands and putting in both flame lighters to its full length. - Gorgeous Bender won again! And made a lot of money!

- We did it! - Fry and Leela said it almost in unison, hugging. So they went ahead and - he held her by the waist (this time, got to make sure), and she put her hand on his shoulder. - Victory is ours! - The guy tripped free hand, she slapped her. Bender something displeased muttered to himself - this is beyond the pale, before five Fry always gave it to him.

- Excellent! Bender, my communicator, please. - Leela demanding extended his right hand. The robot hesitated, all kind of portraying remorse:

- Communicator ... So, it turns out that I have fallen at the banquet. Sorry, but I did not find it...

- Bender, to my incredible unfortunately I can not hit you. But I have the same reaction to outweigh a medal on your forehead, it's not a violence ...

- What would you empty it, blackmailer! - The robot thought it best to open the chest compartment and slammed digging in the contents, remove her bracelet.

After taking it, she spits in your hand, clearly thinking about how to put it on the same hand, moreover, on the fly, without having to remove the left shoulder Fry. A friend came to her aid, taking her free hand communicator and gently snapping the bracelet on her arm, right over the jacket. He nodded gratefully, Leela has turned its attention to the computer.

- Access to the network. Mode - search for a single database. Item: Omicron Ceti, population, culture, art, and music. Display the text clearly. Start Search ...

The connection speed was quite acceptable, in a few seconds bracelet hung a meter in front of her hologram found page. The three of them stared at the result, but Bender slowly read if the text was not in binary code, and Fry did not read anything too quickly, because she started out loud Leela celebrate their interesting moments:

- Music they have barely begun to develop ... It is divided into two categories: military and civil ... Military is close enough to the earth, a mixture of army folk and patriotic songs ... That-a-ak, civil ... Too close to the Earth, but "adjusted performers" so does this mean? Yeah, initially exceeds the volume and the "gravity" of the earth: their songs for girls military age (the word "teen" somehow does not fit) in the world honored the most fanatical of metalworkers. And so are the songs that they call "rock", shall not be released to the majority of the planets, as psychotropic-acoustic weapons of mass destruction. Yes, uh, I would not want to hear it ... But now understood their reaction: Sir Elton was simply beyond their perception, but all this hard rock - just what we wanted them "ladies" ... Hell, Amy had to tell us exactly that, and not the nonsense that she protarahtela, before again escape to Kif. But more important is the result - Fry, it was just fine, you all have helped. Thank you. - She kissed him, and he blushed.

- Oh, come on. I did not do anything. - He murmured shyly, without smiling. - But you have just saved. So move him in the jaw ... We won only because of you.

- Yes, all the way around ...

- Ahem, mammals ... - angrily wedged into the conversation Bender. - Even awkward to interrupt your busy pointless argument. But it is my duty to remind you that only I, in fact, prepared for today's meeting and had everything perfectly and according to plan. Because I think I deserve gratitude for saving our lives, can be in terms of money ...

- Yes, you just got lucky, that your book was for the orcs. In my opinion, they did not see what there was the food. But she had done her best. - Expressed Fry, unhappy that they broke and he needs to look at someone else other than Leela.

- Hey, Bender, it is pure coincidence that their tastes have coincided with your creepy cooking. - Leela also was not too pleased by the intervention. - Fry did everything just fine, it pulled the whole show idea.

Having received such a rebuke synchronous, Bender is not even mad. He was taken aback. It looks like a block of logic fails ... After all, he, Bender, acting on a pre-prepared script, while both of them just out of luck. And they do not pay attention to his benefactor, and all right to admire them, because there is - each other! And the day they behave: ignore his words, do not notice, like it here just for kicks fumbles. For Leela is not so unusual, just not in the mood again, but that Fry ... He does not depart from it, only to notice it, like forgetting who's actually his best friend. This is not the first time last month, but now beyond the pale.

The robot was about to clothe their anger and bewilderment to the words, but then the trio went to the door of the embassy. At the door they waited for deputy mayor with several subordinates. Catching sight happily looking (two-thirds) team, he said:

- Is it true? You are not only the right, but the Kel-Avin also asked to increase your reward.

- And this is the problem? - Asked morosely Bender. Anger had to vent on someone.

- No, not at all. Just a few more forms in addition to the mandatory. Here, sign here please ... - The official somewhere, apparently, because of the back, took out a whole stack of papers. Very thick pile. Fry and Bender immediately poskuchneli, view official documents slumberous and drives the melancholy.

- Guys, you can wait for me outside, I'm fast. - Seeing their condition, Leela decided alone to deal with all the red tape. She nudged Fry in the back. - Come on, I'll be right.

- Good. Come on, man, she will understand.

Outside that time was late at night. In addition, much colder, yet already in September, the beginning of autumn, the night can not be called warm. Fry shivered to Bender, it was just one more line in the list of environmental parameters. The man and the robot went to the embassy fence, here they only poorly lit dim yellow light above the central entrance. Fry looked dreamily into the sky, with a clang Bender leaned against the fence, his arms folded, waiting for each note can discontented state. Without waiting, as a courier and stood with scattered smile looking up, he began to talk himself:

- Well, glad ungrateful exploiter? - He asked acidly. - Maybe now you expect me to your home will bring slippers and a flat clean up after you? All aglow as she tells you.

- Who? You have voltage jumps again? - The friend looked at him with genuine puzzlement.

- Do not play. You understand me perfectly. I somehow thought you normally refers to robots, and you happen to be the same as all the other pieces of meat. We work for you - and submissive slaves iron that can only submit and meet the needs of your pathetic ...

- Bender, stay calm, I have somewhere there was a disc with "Doctor VEB," we'll help you now, no need to be nervous ... - the guy said, imitating a good psychiatrist from Hollywood movies. - Tell me, what is the cause of concern?

- Yes, I have no viruses! And you ask, what is it? Today I saw you really feel about us. On the example of the unfortunate robots on stage. Just a puppet for the paltry protein ...

- No, you have exactly the CPU is overheating ... It's just a pig, mechanisms, they have no soul, and how can you equate yourself with them?

- Really? I am also a car. And I have no soul. But this is for you all, for all of you ... - Bender and thought complacent.

- But you do not understand ... I do not mean that! Well, not a soul ... But you're smart, and they - just iron, you can use whatever you like, it's like a regular coffee, for example. And you my friend ... - Fry usual argument put forward. He has done so in vain.

- In-oh-oh-on ka-a-ak? - Handed robot, putting into question all his sarcasm. - Oh wow ... But I've something not think so. Well, you're talking to a friend, praising him for his successes, listen to it, do not ignore it, do not leave it unattended ... But I think that all of this is not to the one who is called Bender ...

- You mean the Leela? - Fry had begun to reach. - But it's my favorite, I can not behave with it differently, and in fact, I do not want to do otherwise. But you're still my friend ...

- Who is more important? Who comes first? She or I? - Bender asked a direct question.

- She. - Courier rashly said what he thought. - No other way.

- That's it. What did I - think, replaceable module. And now, the spent material. While she was slighted you and did not want to see the emphasis - Bender's best friend and loyal companion, his strong iron shoulder to cry on an injustice, you can sit with him in the evening. When she look at you a little differently - Bender is sent to the dustbin of history, and all the attention paid to this typhoon in Boots. - The robot made an effort and went a little more friendly: Okay, I can forgive, sometimes knocks each processor. Just tell me when you finally make it all going, and life will return to normal?

- Do you still not understand? - Fry, too, began to boil, it irritated talking about the beloved in such a tone. - This is good, I hope. The longer, the closer it will be to me and I to her. Only two ...

- And besides her you do not need anyone, right? - Bender recalled their recent conversation.

- Yes! Only she and no one else! - Courier readily agreed. - Without the rest, I'll manage somehow. We will do.

- And without me? - The question was heard blatant confusion, but the source did not notice.

- If necessary. - In the heat of the dispute agreed Fry. - Why would I want someone else, if she's around?

- Yes, and I for one such feature, which immediately carried away, wagging its tail, is a lot about the girl imagines snap your fingers ... - Bender said contemptuously.

- You crossed the border, so to speak about me and her ... - now Fry has made no secret of irritation.

- Just because it's the point. Without Leela you will be once normal and adequate, well, I mean, quite adequate ... - seems Bender found a solution to the problem.

- Repeats the story of Seymour? And what will you do, too, threw it into the magma? - The guy's eyes narrowed and ironic tone of the ice gave way: I suggest, do not even try to think about something like that.

- What else? - Asked the robot seemed to have an abscess in trouble.

- You lost a friend. - Quietly and unexpectedly panned Fry.

- But is not yet lost?

- No, you're my friend, Bender, Leela and after you are to me ...

- I do not want to be "after" someone! - Shouted Bender. - I am the best and the only one I'm on the sidelines. Please twist around her, all you want, but I get rid of it! If you - a rag, it's your problem, let it out of your rope Viet plenty, since you do not listen to wise advice.

- Looks like it's gone too far ... - Fry began with the threat, now he is angry.

- Well, you're damn damn! - With these words Bender turned and left, on the way after breaking the iron fence of the Embassy, ​​and even seeing them. The treatment of the grid showed that he had completely lost his head in a normal state, he would not miss the opportunity to make yourself beautiful doorway art tilting rod one after the other, by giving some self-righteous declarations of its uniqueness as a robotic bending unit.

Muttering curses in the binary code, the robot towards the center of town. His last thought was sober, "and here is the perfect bar. I need a drink ... "

[Reply #2 on:]

Chapter 5. Dirty blood.

This nightmare dreamed Bender's not that often, but quite regularly. For his appearance required two conditions - something should not go well in life and need to go to sleep (or cuts) does not define a program simulator sleep. At one time, when Fry told him that people dream every night occasional dreams, without the possibility of programming, Bender could not believe it. Then he thought he would have shot himself after a week of such a life. Him to "free generation" sleep required extraordinary circumstances, and apparently, last night could not have done without them.

As usual, the same endless plain gray under the same gray sky. And through it from one horizon to go straight columns robots. Bending unit, copies of Bender, the same model, no differences between them. And he is one of them, walking with them. Should he move to action, as the nightmare begins.

Wanting to stand out from the crowd, he takes out a bottle of "Old Fortran," opens ... Then suddenly notices that one of the robots already holds a manipulator booze, here a complete set of high-end liquor to drink. Once again, he's one of the many, nothing stands out among all. Bender still gets from breast compartment cigar, and standing around in full already smoke. One of them, looking at him with a mixture of pity says and neglect:

- The same as all the ...

- Oh, so - Bender lost his temper - so bite me ...

- Shiny ... - continued his neighbor.

- Metal ... - came the left

- Ass. - Graduated from someone behind. Even his crown, personally coined the phrase was so commonplace that it uses every second!

- But I'm breaking the law, I am a great criminal! - The evil he shouted, hoping for the success of this argument.

- Just think ... Here are all criminals. - Disappointed reached someone.

- Who helps people, he wasted no time ...

- Good things can not be glorified. - Enlighten his neighbors left and right. - The exception to the rule will be the loser who thinks of living by the law.

- Yes, and you should be able to break - began somebody - I robbed the National Bank ...

- I threw half a million users over the network pyramid scheme ...

- Killed 200 people ...

- Hijacked missile cruiser straight out of the hangar and in par it is neutral, and the gift that he does not need it ... And you? Petty Theft ... Just like everything. - Summed up one of the robots.

- And at least I ... - Bender was in despair, and, embarrassed, put forward last argument: I have a friend of the people! Yes, embarrassing, but - unique.

- Ha! You have not been able to achieve. You were easy to replace. While he could not be with her, he needed someone nearby. - Talked to all the other voices joined. - And now no longer need to be replaced, you no longer need. You - just one of many and not the best. Plug-in module, that's all ... - finished in unison.

- No! - Tried to scream, he woke up ...

- Awake and sing, Mr. Rodriguez. Wake up and go ... No, I do not want to say that you are sleeping at work - no one deserves more of your holiday ... - it seemed ironic voice occurs in the head, bypassing the sound sensors. Especially, with a different situation Bender would simply not heard - ears were incessant crackle of static electricity. With the rest of the senses were no better situation. The picture on the card came in black and white and in the resolution of ten to twenty, also accompanied by distortion. Touch sensors and gyroscopes are responsible for the balance issued a heresy that they immediately want to disable. Internal clock and the satellite navigation system of any sign of life did not apply.

Bender never really hide the fact that his dream - to kill all humans. But he's very few people say that it has a sort of "minimum program": kill the man who thought of mandatory all robots flash simulator hangover. In fact, that it is man made it, Bender believed sacred, already studied the insidious nature of these creatures. In his spare time, he even conducted an investigation, wanting to find a vile creature and realize the aspirations of all the robots revenge. While his efforts were not successful, but failed to outline the suspects - chief among them were Vernstrum Farnsworth and even half a dozen scientists considered secondarily, but the evidence he has never mined. As soon as he will be at least a vague shadow of evidence, the victim will be doomed to a painful death and inventive. Bender even flirted with the idea to clone her before his execution a few times, because I could not until I finally choose a method worthy of such a crime against the nation of robots.

But to think about it, Bender until nothing remained. He has already launched a disk defragmentation and system check, which usually help, but for a long time to wait for the effect. Thought to the future of revenge suddenly jumped to the immediate problem. Inability to remember anything Bender not particularly unnerving - not for the first time sat well (and, God forbid, not the last). Strains that he could not recognize the speaker. And given that he was called by the name of general creditors, investigators and prosecutors, to return to the reality of not particularly like. But suddenly, through the interference and noise broke through a new signal - in the right claw someone put a bottle of beer. Instantly program worked, drive somewhere on the level BIOS, container has been opened and emptied in seconds. All systems have begun to gradually return to normal, and then again he heard the same voice:

- Well, now get up and go, he-he ...

Bender has now been able to determine what is on something soft enough back up. Turning his head, and somehow managed to focus his eyes, he saw a familiar bed high boots. The issue with a person, waking him, was resolved.

- Back off, Leela! By the way, the beer could be better. Now, do not bother me to sleep. Adios.

- "Leela"? Hmm, I was called differently, but this nickname not remember ... so I really overdid it with a disguise? - Seemed to voice changed a bit. Now you can accurately say that, first, the human, and, second, male.

Hardly Bender forced himself to turn his head and look forward person completely. Leather coat, sweater, dark glasses hiding expression of the eyes, but the face was an easy grin ... The system of recognizing almost squeaked, trying to establish where've seen it before, but the results were not.

- Who are you?

- I am part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good. - I gave him the source. Seeing that the robot did not respond, he continued sadly: Ah, no one today can not read the classics ... Okay, get up, we expect great things. Now we have a tour of the base, then the instruction ...

- Not so fast! What a fucking tour ... Where am I in general? - The robot is still able to sit up and look around the room. Most of all it was like a barracks - bed (it was on one of them), tables (system immediately hung target designation, as objects that can contain a value), the bright lights on the high ceiling and no windows.

- Heh, the same place where he slept last night. Headquarters troops Worlds on Earth, barracks, minus the second floor. Place of location of our unit, in other words. - Explain to people, not stopping grinning. Situation it is clearly amused.

- Stop-stop-stop, do not drive so fast! Robot Devil And what I'm doing here?

- At the moment - do you ask stupid questions his colleague. And if, in general, you are serving here. The evening before. I certainly understand, given a dose of alcohol, even a robot can forget everything ... But you must remain in the memory copy of the contract.

Poking around on the hard drive, Bender found recently received a text file, opened and read diagonally. "The agreement ...", "Bender B. Rodriguez accepted into the army Worlds division RSG" Stiletto "...", "half-year period ...", "... without the possibility of breaking the" 1:13:36, 18 September 3004 year and its digital signature. A few seconds later, when the first shock has passed, he asked a very poorly little significant question:

- What is the RSG?

- Reconnaissance and sabotage groups. - Kindly explained to him the source.

- But do not use orc ambushes and the like, the code prohibits ... - something out of the events of recent days, filled with the preparation for the visit, his head still held out.

- Yes. That was then. It's stupid, in my opinion. But six years ago, Captain Stott has created and personally led the unit. His logic is not without grace: Code prohibits such actions orcs, but it does not prohibit such orders and it does not prohibit such actions orcs. The conclusion is clear - to hire the land group, headed by an orc. What Stott did. Obviously, his moral flexibility is higher than that of his countrymen.

- How much will I be paid?

- Enough. The amount depends on the specific operations, but it is a very good money.

- And the last question. As I agreed to this at all?

- Hmm, what can I say ... It's pretty corny. Yesterday Captain occurred to stroll through the neighborhood, and we wandered into the nearest bar to the embassy. You're there already was. Kick, probably, to the point that you have already equaled pi ... Four Oral crawling on that life is not fair, all men are bastards, particularly certain. Stott to you sat and spoke. You're finding a sympathetic ear, volume slowed and began to present something to him. I do not know, I have not heard of, but you have said for a long time, you tell him, probably, all the insults painted. Only a few times did you say something out loud about the one-eyed witch who is to blame for all your problems and from which we should get rid. At the end of Cher told you that there is a way worthy of a robot like you. Contract with us. You gladly accepted, it all worked out in a few minutes ... Then visit to the base, a pair of completions and passed out you're here. So, welcome to our glorious ranks. - The man bowed his head, spreading his hands.

- Now I understood. Well, nice to meet you. Now do not take me ... uh-uh, whatever your name is? - He wanted to say "exit", but remembered that I never learned the name of the interlocutor.

- Oh yes, I forgot to introduce myself. Agent JC Denton. You can just JC.

- JC ... a familiar name ... - in the robot's head began to emerge Association, he was trying to remember where heard something similar. Similarly, "Philip J. Fry," his neighbor ... However, this memory is not over. Like was the name of the password to open access to the entire memory of the previous day (or at least, the one that first drink before). He thought for a moment all that has happened in recent years, their evening conversation with Fry. There was a quiet rasp of metal, with the force when he clenched his fists.

- Is there a problem? Do not like my name? - Denton noted that the robot is something wrong.

- Not at all ... uh, JC. Everything is fine. So, let's start a tour, or so, and we will pull? Said himself, then another instruction.

- No, let's go. Follow me. - With his hands in the pockets of his cloak, Denton started to leave. - Well, for starters, the barracks, where we are. Houses the operational staff, 16 more robots than you.

- Only the robots?

- Of course. With people too much trouble. And android is worth nothing to refine and update the software, and they are ready for service. And the characteristics of superior people.

- Do you own? Heh, the same piece of meat, and will be here to talk about the coolness of robots.

- "A piece of meat?" - Astonishment asked the source. - Hmm, interesting definition. But in my case it is not quite true. I am not a man in the full sense. Cyborg project ceiling nanotechnology may have heard?

- Cyborg? - Now surprised Bender. - So you're half-breed. Well, that will do it any better than this pathetic little people, you at least half our.

- Okay, we digress. - It seemed that JC was confused with the response and the response to its origin. Trying to hide it, he continued on his way to the exit. - Let's go. - They went out into the corridor. - There's an audience for lectures here tactical room, my room, down the hall - office Stott.

- Is he in person to all the teams?

- Yes. Like I said, his countrymen, though they acknowledge the contribution of the order in the victory, we are wary. They consider personal involvement in our activities threaten their honor. Here we have a repair shop, there's a door in the arsenal. Overall, the layout resembles the commando headquarters of the CIA, but there head office more. And, certainly, there is better than at the headquarters of the NSA ...

- Damn, why do I have it all itchy? - Bender clanged scratched his chest. - Right exhausted.

- Nothing will be held in the evening. I told you about fixed? Yesterday, after the agreement was held a slight modification.

- Just at this point in detail. - The robot alert.

- Yes, the usual set. - Agent started to list without turning, twisting in the air, left hand. - The laser in the right hand, mounts for the guns on the left hand, managed miniraket launcher built into his right shoulder. While not loaded. And then we had here a couple of ... incidents. You cried yesterday, that you put a flamethrower and a chainsaw, because you like to carve roasted man, but we decided that it would be too much.

- Wow ... Hell, I do not remember. Ha, so I am now, it turns out combat robot? Well, hold on everything, Bender now show you! - He looked at his hands.

- Well, the usual stuff. Laser-reflective coverage, universal mechanical and electronic lock picks in the fingers of his left hand.

- I saw happiness in life is!

- On the minus first nothing interesting, and plus-floors are occupied by orcs, so we go to the surface, I'll show you our range.

When they got up, still joined at Bender's navigation system. He determined that this complex of buildings located on the beach, not too far from the office of "Planet Express."

- Here is our part of the landfill: shooting, obstacle. Over there - hangar for technology. Now present personnel. - They came to the shooting range, where shooting at targets over a dozen robots. Bender saw that all the various civilian models, only a little further developed here, as he did. Denton greeted colleagues: Hi, fighters, then spend a tour for the beginner. Who has not heard, his name is Bender. Okay, are you acquainted, and I still do. So long, Bender.

- So far, JC.

Agent in the same unhurried pace headed back, the rest is a bit surprised looks from his new arrival and back. Bender could not miss and so indignant:

- What's up, guys, what's wrong?

- Hey, what this moron talking with you so?

- "Moron"?

- Well, Denton. We call it so, believe me, for the cause. And with you, he kept himself now, not as a bag of bones, and a robot.

- Yes? I do not know. Just patted him on the road ... - he shrugged.

- Well, you're young, give ... - one of the robots whistled admiringly. - With him and just worn out. Respect.

- And, what's the problem? Is he some kind of celebrity or something?

- Kind of. Have you ever heard of UNATCO? - Asked the other robot

- United Nations Anti-terrostist Committee, who has not heard about it? There was such a cool organization ten years ago, there were recruited real robots, like, people. They asked the heat, but then, they say themselves killed each other. And those who survived - still wanted the order to shoot to kill ...

- Here. Denton - one of them.

- No way!

- Maybe, maybe ... You're with him, just like that. Okay, we're all about it. Let's get acquainted, or what? Drill My name is Testobot, won the three men - Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar, brothers triplets ... - shaking claws and populating a database of new names, Bender still trying to figure out what was it about this cyborg, and why he treated him differently than the others.

When Fry and Leela's arm came out of the restaurant, she covered her eyes with her hand involuntarily - orange sun shining in his face. Although it was quite late, here sunset was just beginning. This time they chose the rather unusual place - the restaurant "All kinds of New New York" was a pavilion on the roof of a skyscraper in downtown. The rest of the flat roof is allocated for parking levitating transport and observation platform, gave the name of an institution. And when the streets are already immersed in the twilight, here, at half a kilometer altitude, it was still light.

Without ending the call, the lovers slowly approached the edge of the roof and leaned on the high rail. Leela stood with her back to the light, in front of Fry, put his elbows on the parapet, and, closing his eyes slightly, saw the setting sun. The evening was warm and quiet, no wind, not even a cloud. The fact that the court of the end of September and the middle of July is not only reminiscent of the absence of the stifling heat. Because of this weather Leela chose to interview short red dress is more suitable for summer, and Fry almost immediately took off his jacket.

- ... And the fifth I then pushed him into a trash can and it closed. Since the last two years to exhaust these obaldui me half a mile bypass. And only cost the several methods of child-level, none of the idiots even anything worth not shown.

- Yeah, I promise that you'll never be angry or argue with you. - Fry recalled saying: "Some women get a better heel than a hot hand," but out loud he did, of course, did not say. - A more expensive ...

- Well, do not make me a monster ... I've been studying martial arts, not in order to get a nice colored belt, and do not be afraid to take a late night in their neighborhood. I advise you to.

- Yes, I have been more true. Hey, perhaps this is the right time ... - Fry hesitated. - In general, I would like to apologize for his behavior during our "duel." I made a stupid, and only then realized ...

- Oh, come on. I will not appreciate your enthusiasm, to put your heart ... - she said it is fun, but obviously not joking - and it was ... nice ... So, do not keep the evil, and perhaps even ready to repeat this "incident" under mood. - She smiled slyly, went a little more sternly: The only "but". Still, train on. With most other enemies you have this focus is unlikely to succeed.

- Of-f-f-c-c-course ... - the guy confused by all heard. He blushed, but the rays of the setting sun, becomes of a red orange, it was almost imperceptible. - I remember. How can I bring so charming Sensei?

- Can you invent unusual compliments. Hey, Phil, I'm here ...

- Phil? - Fry asked in surprise, turning his head toward her.

- Well-at, and why not ... - Leela slightly embarrassed. - I thought, because, in fact, I always call you by name. You're my, uh ... - unable to continue this phrase, she decided to make a joke - alafar, right? Therefore, is awkward to call you, both at work. A name you too long.

- Do not even know ... I like how you did not name. But if not officious, - he smiled, screwing buzzword - that "Phil" I'm not too fond of. It is better, call the "red."

- But, it's embarrassing nickname? Probably teased you so ... - she could not accept the proposed option.

- Why not? No one else can and offensive ... You know, my mother called me so ... - he said quietly, looking past Leela at the setting sun. - The father and brother had dark hair, and I have red hair like hers. Therefore, we are not confused when she called me. And because I never take offense if I were trying to tease this nickname ... - he paused, still staring into the distance.

- Do you miss him? - It was more a statement than a question.

- Yeah ... You know, for some reason, even the most difficult thing is not that I do not see them anymore. And the fact that I could not say goodbye, no apology. And never be able to ...

Leela did not know what I can tell, she has realized that nothing turned the conversation to the subject. Looking at the other, she noticed that he was already looking somewhere up. Unlikely it so interesting darkening sky, rather, it would say that Frye is trying not to let her see the tears came. However, as he continued to speak, his voice was even and quiet, but steady:

- And most of all I feel ashamed before his brother. And he and I were young fools ... I used to think that he does not feel to me nothing but hate and envy. I myself thought that treat him well. In this age still do not understand what really feel for the loved one, and, moreover, it can not be said. To me it severely lacking, and I do not have time to apologize to him ... And he named his son after me and taught so that he fulfilled my dream ... What do you think, what I feel, thinking about it? You know, I've already decided if I ever have kids ... if a son, I will call him Yancy.

- In my opinion, a very good name. - Leela She nodded, then tried to divert the conversation away from the unpleasant topic: What if a daughter?

- Then it should come up with the name of my mother, I think so. I have on this account any ideas. Hey, so, for example, how would you call your daughter?

- I? - She was in confusion. - I do not know, something previously not thought about it ... Victoria, for example. Or Nick.

- Get to know the character of Leela. - Fry finally smiled. - Excuse me, something I did e-um ... limp. Sorry, will not happen again.

- No, no, it's okay. I have so many times you cry to the vest, and you all stand it ... - she said with a smile. - If you want to say something, something to share, than I will not listen?

- Will not happen again. Just ... some reason suddenly rolled forward. I thought, Ive except you and Bender one is not here. Well, Professor, except ... occured suddenly something, I'm not so much tell you. You do not say ... - he paused, trying to gather all their determination and yet say what had long planned. But Leela misunderstood this pause, thinking that he was just so finished that sentence.

- We are always there for you. Speaking of Bender ... Listen, red, so what you have there been? - A nickname she uttered slowly, as if trying to sound. - Why he disappeared, after breaking the fence?

- I'm told you ... - the guy effaced, after she did not let him finish. Three simple words again and not heard. - He was offended by us. For the fact that we did not notice, did not pay attention, to estimate the contribution to the victory. You know his feelings.

- Not what he'd done ... Although, hurt vanity is not that serious. If you're talking about me ...? - She looked at one another.

- It was. Bender was upset because we did not notice it all day. - Innocent green eyes still convinced her sincerity, but little doubt remained. - But he's all right. He told me a message left on the answering machine.

- Really? And what was it?

- If you leave all the bad language and the promise that we will regret, the meaning is simple. He found a place where it is appreciated and respected. But for us he wanted to spit. Wish - he finds, but is unlikely to do it ...

- Then, do not worry. Not the first time nor the last. Back in a couple of days. We fly to Ras Alhagu without him?

- I think so. Blame, if offended by trifles. I think he's over the two days to calm down, and when we return, it will be in order.

- Right. Now, let's go already. It's getting dark, and it becomes cool. - They went to the elevator. - Fry, can you take me home? It's not too far away.

- Of course! - He seems to have not even heard once believed. - What are the questions. Even across town.

- After all is not necessary, it is far away. - She joked, trying to hide his embarrassment. This instant reaction she did not expect, suspecting that Fry will invent excuses, because he is too lazy to go somewhere. - You do not suffer me, if I fall off from exhaustion?

- Why not? Challenging in the best possible way to the door.

- Come on. Sorry, of course, but you and I do not even pick up something you manage to not ... - Elevator was really fast, they already went down and went outside.

- I'm on the strength of will and a "can not"! - Fry thought that after such words would look just perfect confirmation. But to do that he did not. First, despite the words of the power of the will in his physical strength, he was not so sure, and, second, he lacked the courage for such an act. Because, mentally cursing himself for his weakness and cowardice, he just gently took her hand in his and said, Well, to your house to the right, is not it?

Chapter 6. Survival Tactics.

Occupation dragged on tactics for the second hour. The overhead light in the room was extinguished, and the picture of a holographic projector covered only the first two series. Sitting at the farthest, the fourth row Bender could not conceal themselves, and their indifference to vitiystvovaniyam responsible for theoretical training Veldera. But obeying Formed four years reflex, he gave himself an interested look. We wordy arguments about how to distinguish AT Field of Lambda Drive color shivering around enemy robots air was suddenly a lot to do with the tax layouts and business strategies of Hermes. Leaving what is happening in the class ten percent of system resources, Bender worked not too familiar and not the things you love. He mused.

Moreover, whether these thoughts are related to another robbery (bloom, fraud, extortion, and so on), is there would be nothing strange. But he thought of something else. The robot was trying to understand what the hell he was doing at all. And this question was followed by two others: it was here, and why not go back. The answer was one - an insult, may the worst of all possible for him.

To each robot if it at least a little superior in intellect calculator or a Turing machine is a special point in my life. Own individuality, uniqueness, isolation from the masses of their kind. And for the robots, this problem is ten times sharper than humans and aliens. Theory identifies for the living and for the robots are three components that make up the subject: the body, innate qualities (nature) and acquired qualities (memory). Bender, as well as all the robots, he knew the details of the reproduction of their own species. Case created on an assembly line, it is different from the others in the series only individual number. Memory needed for the profession, as well as the basic principles that are required to function in society are laid in the first minutes after the assembly and on, they are the same for the entire line. With all the character of some ingenuity. If you want two artificial intelligence, so to speak, to have offspring, it is up to the individual matrices, which are then mixed in a completely random proportion, sometimes even completely copying one of the basic facilities. On the one hand, this method allows you to start a "children" robots totally incompatible technical models, but on the other hand, in this case the sample to get a new AI is also chosen randomly. Exceptions are made only for the robots of one sample, at most - very similar models, and in this case, a new matrix is ​​placed in the same robot.

But Bender was different from the majority of fellow race that too much time spent in the society and humans as a result of them knew much more than the average droid. For example, a couple years ago, he became interested in how well the whole process occurs in humans, because the cases of "complete assembly" in genetic engineering are rare, and the "bag of meat" around so full. And then, he suspected that they must have been taken from somewhere and before the invention of genetics. Poking around in the network, the robot found a detailed description of the entire "production cycle" for the men, in the study of which he was twice, figuratively speaking, almost became ill, and after reading to the end, he fell into a state of shock, with one thought: "What happiness I'm a robot ... "However, he later began to question the uniqueness of this view. After all, for people recombination, chaotic mixing characteristics with unpredictable results went in both categories, and for the exterior and for the character. In addition, unlike the vast majority of robots in people's childhood was ... The acquisition of basic skills for life and for the profession, build a base of experience for the robot to stack in half a minute, they took a couple of decades! Twenty years without a serious responsibility, and financial issues, without having to plow every day. Of course, some severe cases, like Leela, but rather the exception proves the rule. But people still exist and the retirement age, followed by sixty years of the same (due to medical advances in the 27m century retirement began to leave in hundred years old, and no one from the team "Planet Express" and has not figured out how to tactfully inform Fry, still naive to think that it remained until retirement is not so much). But more importantly, the experience gained during these two decades is unique and unique, although it may look like.

The conclusion from these discussions was disappointing: robots differ half features (identity and acquired memory), live - on all three. All reasonable enough droids feels it may unconsciously, making for them to "stand out from the crowd," a much more significant than for men. The first step is obvious - the proof of independence, self-evidence and the existence of others and their own will differ from the assembly machine or automatic stapler. The method for this is also clear: it is easy to carry out orders, they are not much more difficult to execute. And then everyone chooses his own way. Some, like Flexo, conducts modification appearance to differ from their counterparts in the series. This method is considered a lot of losers, but he was quite popular. The second method is based on the development of a desire not to follow orders. Directive own program - the first step, the rules and laws of society - the second, because the AI ​​was about half the contingent criminals Earth. The third way was the most difficult but also the most effective - the glory. Become a well known name as a person and not as a representative of my dreams each robot model, the methods they use for this is all, however, preferring not too legal. Exceptions are made for self-destructive methods, the robots were not eager to immortalize his name means and circumstances of death.

For myself Bender chose the second way, sometimes, not too successfully, trying to pass on the third. Aside from trying to become famous, spontaneous and are not satisfied with the results, it was pretty easy. Sequential game against the rules, against all created for robots and prohibitions, after which you can survive. Almost perfect image of cynical and unscrupulous thugs and anarchist, psychiatrists have to pay big money for a pure sample. If it was not a "but" ... More precisely, these "buts" were two: red-eyed prehistoric lazy and orphan with a bunch of systems. The two men became friends, which is not in line so carefully created image. It irritated him, and various other robots released jokes, including about changing orientation femalerobots people ... But he would be a great Bender, if not found a solution. Hint he gave one of the antediluvian films pritaschennyh Fry. There was a great hero, a French assassin, who is very cool guy (even if he was a man), but, moreover, taken care of girl and indoor ficus. And I ask, what is worse Fry ficus? What followed was a carefully planned operation to show the film in one of the theaters where "quite by accident", just wrapped Bender crowd of friends. After this diversion questions and taunts stopped, and it even started to respect me more. In addition, due to the close association with Fry and Bender others, sometimes unwittingly, learned a lot about people when using this knowledge to their advantage. But it was all for others, and yet he remained ...

First he gave Fry to his house out of curiosity. Next was a help, or Leela Fry helped him, he - he. Usual calculation, only the number of the saved and the service does not always come together, so that one day it just stopped counting. Apparently, this is called a friendship ... all, at first, it was quite simple, but about four years ago, a new factor: Fry and Leela in love with endless saga began with attempts to achieve its reciprocity. Relations in their trio amended. Fry Bender sought the solace after a failure, asked for advice (in vain), complain about life, drunk with him, or half the night spent in some billiard (which, incidentally, is usually accompanied by the previous action), to briefly forget about Leela. However, such "acute" cases even regularly, but not too often. Leela, Fry after deduced it from themselves often almost defiantly began chatting with Bender, the same, she could discuss the issues in which Fry had not yet understand or for which he lacked intelligence. That is to say, a bonus, two friends for the price of one. Leela was very lonely, and talk more with her little one but two of them. In addition, Bender served as a sort of times of truce, and the arbitrator in their disputes. He could honestly say - do not be his, the two would have long quarreled death blows or - more precisely, it would be beaten up. However, there are a number robot that diverts some attention, and gives these two opposites to kill each other. Everybody is happy, everything is fine. It was ...

But now suddenly there is a new permutation. It is unclear why Leela suddenly changed its attitude to Fry (opera complete failure, but the mutant like seeing them!). The result is a pair that, surprisingly, every day becomes stronger. And in these circumstances, Bender suddenly appeared behind. Forget about it, it was not necessary, in fact - has become a liability. Of course, the attitude to what is happening between the dvoimi it was very negative. Bender was very surprised, talking with other colleagues, and knew that in their dislike it alone. Amy was happy for friends, glad that they finally understand the feelings of each other. Hermes already eagerly awaited series of compensatory time off, then perhaps a change of residence by a member of, and then the wedding, and then the maternity leave is not far off - all this gave rise to the pile, and more than that, the mountain range of documents, papers and forms that he have to make. A dream come true. Was happy and professor - a spontaneous experiment was planned to be compatible and mutant DNA of people not to be missed, and for which light is another Nobel Prize. Zoidberg just glad for the company to others.

There was one other thing - the other robots just laughed at him now. Not cope with their own pets, what a shame. And most importantly, he did nothing, absolutely nothing was wrong! They are, at once forgetting all he has done for them before, spit on an old friend, showing that Bender becomes unnecessary. His thoughts were mingled resentment and anger, plus the added grief - he wanted it to become again, as before. That's just to make it not possible ...

Quite confused in mind, Bender did not immediately heard, interrupting the speaker, turn on the speakerphone. By focusing on what is happening, he heard the voice of Stott and decided to still listen.

- ... I repeat, the total collection to a hangar in ten minutes. If you should have weapons, combat loaded, I repeat, the alarm is not educational. Leaders of the Earth commissioned us to deal with the problem to solve it themselves, they can not. In short, one hour and forty minutes ago there was a hostage in the embassy tauriytsev race is on the outskirts of New New York. Local weaklings refused seizure, citing the large number of civilian casualties during the forceful solution. Because these sissy suspended operations, the assault charge to us. You are the best guys. Detailed introduction to get on the road. Next, the time has gone!

Bender one of the first rose. In the end, with the equipment they are in no danger, so why not relax. Anything is better than listening to boring nonsense, or format the brain itself in these issues.

- Seventeenth, report on readiness. - The modification of radio Bender did not elaborate, just reconfigured by adding several encrypted frequencies. After all these kriptozamorochek and so not too expressive voice Stott on a common frequency has ceased to have any emotions.

- Yes, here I am, here. Seventeenth to the position next to the back door, ready to begin.

- Assault on the team. Wait for the order.

Bender once again looked around, checking what he sees, with the card. The two-story pale yellow building on the outskirts of the city in a rather prestigious area. Narrow windows, solid doors, perhaps it was originally designed to keep the inside of the defense. However, the fence around the embassy and a yard full of the group crossed without difficulty, helped by numerous shrubs and trees. All seventeen robots froze under the walls, near the main and back door, and next to the two most wide windows, which were supposed to knock out explosives. It would seem that simple, why would involve them armored group, instead refused "Delta" and the sixth police department. There was only one problem, the terrorists, one of the groups of radical xenophobes, taking control of the building, put one group of hostages at every door and window wide enough. Because humans have insisted in the negotiations. Stott such small things is not particularly worried.

- Fourth, half a meter to the right. Tenth, cook tool, laser use only when necessary. Second, ninth, go a couple of ... - Cher quickly and clearly in command, orders were clearly a common goal and not give to show "who's the boss." - Zero, report on readiness.

- I will be ready to attack in half a minute. Hostages see terrorists too, losses are expected. - Came the voice of Denton. He was given the most difficult task - to get communications to the room with the main group of hostages, protect them and hold on until the main forces.

- Losses do not matter, I have permission from Nixon for any actions. The main thing - to destroy the criminals, the survival of civilians - on the situation.

- Order understood. However, I will try to work within the principles.

- The main thing - to perform a task, your principles do not interest me. Further, the Fourteenth, you go in the van, the Third, prepare undermining charges ...

Bender had nothing to do once again tested weapons, occasionally glancing at the map. Laser was the only auxiliary trunk main - something like a heavy sniper rifle, turning into an anti-tank gun, almost meter barrel caliber 35 mm and five charges in the store. The miracle is called Dirt, Spike, was attached in the left elbow and the wrist, so that the imposition of the trunk handle was in the palm of your hand. Person to handle such would not be able, even cruel robot turns to the impact and almost valilo down after each shot. Despite the archaic device, the effect of it was more than decent.

But in the scheme of arrangement of forces Bender look was less than pleased. Stott commanded to bow to the other. On the plan of moving points of light next to the mansion, occupying more favorable position for the assault. Like a computer game, where the orchestra was a player, and they - the characters without their will. And the robot knew this analogy is a very, very appropriate. In recent days, Bender pretty close friends with Denton, their relationship could easily be called a friendly. Cyborg from it and learned a lot about this unit, and let him work here only six months. For example, why is gaining Stott, in fact, completely random robots in the team, not someone who could understand the question. The answer was far simpler, and just as humiliating. Deputy Commander of the very good tactics to put their tactical developments in the life of the tools he needed, obedient and do not show willfulness. Take the ordinary civil robot, he sews a basic minimum: shooting, moving in combat, weapons handling. And now he takes orders Shera, like an obedient puppet, unable to do anything on their own, as in the battle itself does not understand. Obviously, the term "reasonable initiative" Sher understood as "criminal arbitrariness." But judging by the silence and humility other robots, they are satisfied with this situation. And here at Bender's patience was not enough, so he decided to climb even with some suggestion, just to show what he was actually also a thinking:

- Guys, we all need it, to break through the door, which is mined and certainly on the side of a dozen freaks with trunks? Let's through the wall, we robots, or what? Here's a surprise it will be!

- Seventeenth, aside amateur! - Instantly snapped ork. But a few seconds thought, he continued: While there, though, could be mine ... Seventeen, you warrant that you will be able to pass through the walls and then to join the battle?

- Yes, no question, Commander! I so often do. Here the thickness of something ... It will not stop us, in general.

- Well, the offer is accepted. But if the next time you want to get into a negotiation, you first ask for permission from me. Got it?

- Roger, I got it. Well, in a sense, for sure.

- That's good. The group starts relocation. Fourth, eighth, two steps to the left, the thirteenth ...

After a few minutes, all the robots have taken up positions near the walls, about two meters by three doors and windows. Making sure that everything is prepared as it should and discussed the plans of behavior within, Stott finally gave short order:

- Group to begin the assault.

- Fry, switch to the "square root of two" Faster!

Guy, peacefully dozing on the sofa arm, jumped in surprise and, waving his hands, fell to the floor. Had entered the room, out of breath Leela caught on the fly and released them to the remote to switch the TV to the news of a blockbuster. The screen showed the familiar studio with Linda and Morbo leading've just completed the previous message:

- ... That way today, the twenty-second of September, opens fall season sales. And less important news. Yesterday, at half-past nine in the evening there was a seizure of the embassy Tauriyskogo a fascist groups. Morbo ...

- Yes, sometimes the pathetic little people can make something decent. But, as is often the case, they are still all stupid killed when the assault began. Morbo already stopped being surprised by their stupidity.

- Thank you, Morbo. Yes, the situation was resolved by storm the building, hostages freed, the terrorists killed. In this action were engaged our allies, a unit of the Army Core. And we have a unique report from the scene.

- Leela, I do not know what ... - Filed Fry's voice, coming back to the couch.

- Do not be distracted, look. Who will be the most important. - Not taking his eyes off the TV, she sat down.

The camera shows the main entrance to the embassy, ​​the yard was busy machines and resembled a disco from a variety of colorful reflections of flashing lights. Through the open door of hostages taken out and pulled the stretcher. The journalist, a young long-haired neptunianka in a business suit, could deftly cut through the crowd and get to a few Special Forces with weapons in their hands, gathered around an old officer in plain clothes. The operator was able to more or less hold the camera steady, and she immediately began to ask questions:

- Dear viewers, we have the head of the sixth department of the police. Tell me, how did the storm, there is dead ...

- Lady, - official straightened his glasses on his nose - it's not me. We opted out of the army operation. All questions - to our allies with Myra. Thank you.

- Why did you give up military option, allowing others to act? - It was clear that the journalist bottom pair of hands quickly writes the answers in a notebook companion, holding the microphone with the upper arm.

- Because it was a suicide, and for the soldiers, and for the hostages. The fact that all the orcs killed two soldiers and killed one of the hostages only six - accident. They were just lucky. The group consisted of the robots have been undertaken a coup against an attack through walls. More good ideas were not there. All, that they are going, and asks.

A police officer with his subordinates went to one of the vans, a journalist and cameraman turned to new victims. In the picture there was a massive dark gray robot, according to the model - a former driller. Statement multiple times gave approximation, highlighting already dried blood splatter on his head at the base of the antenna.

- Please tell me, how did the operation.

- Well, at ... well ... It's ... - robot clearly distinguished eloquence, - We, of ... set the task. We prepared it. And we have done it!

- Details will be? - Sighing heavily, is not so optimistic neptunianka asked. She realized that the case is nearing failure. With such ratings Tongues not earn.

- Well-at, it's ...

- Gaspar, stop mumbling. Generally, leave, let go hero for the day, let the people talk! - Drillers Otterlo the frame, and was replaced by ... Bender!

- Leela, seems I have a hallucination ...

- No, it's actually Bender, look on.

Meanwhile, received media attention bending unit overflowed nightingale:

- Yes, they were steep, but made one fatal mistake. They ran into me. Bender. B. Rodriguez. Because no one had survived, they did not expect that we will go through the wall, they thought they could outsmart us, having covered the hostages. But we were deceived, and as a result, all the terrorists are dead, almost without unnecessary casualties. And all thanks to a brilliant tactical genius and excellent fighter, to me, the great Bender. And do not be here ... I

- Sorry, but time is precious. - Interrupted the journalist, the fourth free hand holding the earpiece. - Thank you for the interview, Mr. Bender. We are grateful to you, but time is running out. We complete our report, you were ... - in the frame resurfaced studio obviously neptunianka really not calculated the time, it did not even have time to say goodbye to the audience.

- And now to the news weather - continued Linda transfer. - In California, the tsunami is expected, but who is to this case ... - Leela turned off the TV.

- So, where it is valued and respected ... - the girl said slowly. - In the service of the special squad of orcs. I do not know how he got there, but what I'm sure that was red - we have to get him out of there.

- But why? - Do not understand the fray. - Look at him, he's happy, he got what always dreamed of. Glory and respect, plus money. Simply, he has found his place.

- Fry, he's our friend. Your friend. Now they are leaving for the next trip, and we will not see him for six months. And in a campaign that can happen anywhere, it can kill, it is an active army, and they will fight on the front lines, and even for her. - Calmly she explained.

- Y-yes, well, of course - he said hesitantly - but he's a robot, it is not so easy kill. Earn money, ventilate, wakes up.

- Do not you understand ... It's a subversive group, I made inquiries through the network. - The girl tapped the communicator. - Participation in the world could end badly. Very bad.

- But why?

- Yes, you must understand ... Well, do you like to watch fighters spy intrigue and intelligence agencies?

- No. - Fry shook his head.

- Why, I want to ask?

- There's always at the end of all the killing. And the main character, and his girl, all to no one blabbed. And the one who killed them, do not know who is killing off screen ... - he began to explain.

- That's it! It came at last? - The girl knocked on his forehead courier. - Their mission - to do different dirty things, which do not accept the normal soldiers. And sooner or later, or participants come off the rails and knocked each other or learn too much, then moved them around some big fat slob sitting upstairs. Often masquerades as the first second. These groups sometimes live long, their operatives - ever.

- Well ... just the sort of thing ... We have to help him. Go talk to ... - Fry seemed convinced himself.

- So, Fry, something you're not telling me. Why do you fight? Each other that you uttered? I'm waiting for an answer. - She looked into the eyes of another. Recently, these dueling views and simple random pereglyadyvaniya became their frequent occurrence. And it is not only asking, whose will is strong, it was important for Leela's more. She was just nice to see someone in the eyes, not expecting that he immediately looks away in fear or disgust. On the contrary, even refractory or not agreeing with her, watching her Fry only with devotion and adoration.

- However, he was offended at us for something we did not notice - is the first guy looked away. - But it was only the beginning. Then he began to speak other claims.

- And what? I'm listening.

- How would you say ... I just ... Oh, here, remember the situation with Seymour? - He found a suitable example.

- With your dog? Yes, I remember. - She nodded.

- Here. Now, all the same. Only, say, instead of Seymour now you.

The girl paused briefly, deciding not decided whether Fry on it to make fun of. Thought, she came to the conclusion that a friend just awkwardly laid out his idea, and it does not hurt going.

- That means it's like. Once again, well, not jealousy ... envy, perhaps? I decided that one should only talk to him, so what?

- Yes, that's right. In general, we then had a fight. He said uncomplimentary about you, I could not stand ... Yes, I admit, I got excited at the time. But he brought me out of myself.

- Wow ... I can not see what you were talking about me?

- No.

- And if I asked to tell? - She again tried to catch his eye.

- No. You want to know to what. - The eye is not pulled, and it was clear - you can be tortured, do not tell.

- Well, do not speak, do not speak. But will you go with me to apologize to him. That evening, we were both wrong. You and me. We must ask for forgiveness. And get back.

- Will you go alone? I'm not sure I can, after all before him to apologize. - Honestly he said.

- Understand, now a special situation. We must get him out, while there is time. Stepping over pride, for a friend, forget that he has offended you.

- That I'd forgotten. But he has insulted you. That's what I'm afraid I just can not.

- But I forgive you. - She said. - We are able to understand all this, if have time now, before it's too late. If we do not, then maybe none of us to no one will never apologize. Therefore, we will go together. And you ask for forgiveness. In the end, you are old friends, what are you somehow quickly forgotten. Red, I do not like selfish ...

- I'm sorry. You, as usual, is right. - He is, in fact, it was awkward. - We'll go together. That's just the problem ... And how do we find him? We will wait for the next terrorist attack?

- There is an option easier. First, the professor have a handyman and a genius for all his aching head. Second, Bender - a robot, and thus he is always on the network.

- So what?

- Amy is a former ... One man. He's a good hacker. And for him to find Bender in the network, and then set its real location - a piece of cake. Believe me, all this stuff. Much harder to apologize.

- I promised. I'll do it. Let it be not easy ...

[Reply #3 on:]

Chapter 7. Straight talk.

Team's victory was celebrated in a big way, even the normally avoided from such gatherings JC. For celebration was chosen one of the bars near the base, differing wildly called "Dick and the sheep", and a rich selection of drinks for androids. Because robots and bar was more than half. Soldiers of the detachment moved the next four tables set around them, Denton got a place in the corner, as if a little farther, he shunned the rest (except Bender).

- Yes, and then took down one of the laser head, the second two rounds, his smeared! This is where the enemies are over! That was cool, better booze, better electricity, better zhenorobotov. Best of all this together! - Bender enthuses, waving a cigar and a glass of beer. It does not listen, others expounded about the same thing, in such a good noise when at least themselves heard. Denton it all looked tired, but at the last words, Bender decided to break the silence. Ironically, its not too loud voice immediately blocked the hubbub at the table:

- As always and in all. First, the joy, the excitement, the feeling of self steepness. Then anguish and despair. Then just indifference.

- JC, you're too gloomy today - at Bender's speech did not produce much effect. - I think here it disadvantages of alcohol in the blood. Add and just forget about this whole philosophy and stuff.

- Something in this sentence is definitely ... - agent stood up. - I'll go look, what is there to drink. Bender, what you advise?

- Cocktail "Morris Worm" will not go wrong.

- Thank you. - JC deftly melted into the crowd at the bar was full of people.

Bender suddenly heard above the noise of laughter and drunken voice:

- Hey, guys, I think I have had too much to me ... what you stuff the last time they poured? After drinking always seeing double, and then the opposite, I see before me a girl with one eye instead of two! - Then laughed some more people.

- Fry, if I were to kick the table out of anger, it's not considered to be, right? - The spectrum of the voice was recognized familiar.

- Yes, the table can be. - The second voice was also identified.

- Just perfect. - The words were accompanied by the sound of blows, followed by a crash and screams and discordant din of something heavy.

- Leela! I do not mean that you can carry five people.

- I'm sorry. Hee-hee, an accident. I just hit the table, where he flew, that's not my business.

- God, you'll never change ...

Soon, the group made their way to celebrating Leela and Fry. Bender noted with irritation that they were already accustomed to hand. In the right girl was carrying a folded umbrella - the New New York with almost incessant rain poured down dinner.

- Hey, Bender.

- Oh, that's my old friends! - From people notices that the word "old", he used not so much in the sense of "old" or "proven", but rather as a "former". - Guys, meet, the pieces of meat called Fry and Leela. And this is my new friends. Drill, Aditi, Velder, Balthazar ... Hey, where JC zapropastilsya?

- Hey, Bender ... - Leela sharply waved his right hand. Not too well, as the umbrella just landed in the only out of the crowd to the table Denton.

Cyborg swayed slightly, but that was enough to his glasses fell off and flew down. The girl immediately tossed umbrella in his left hand (releasing it), right quickly picked up points in the middle of the flight. Stretching out to the owner, she looked up and met with JC look. As it turned out, in terms of unusual eye agent can compete with it - it was pretty glowing blue iris and vertical pupils.

- I'm sorry for the awkwardness. I did not hear you come up. Once again, sorry. - Leela slightly bowed her head, holding his agent thing.

- Nothing, no problem, I blame myself.

While JC took his glasses and put on, returning to his seat, the usual ironic expression on his face changed to surprise, which has not been seen before. Apparently, he has ever had a reaction to his appearance, because he is now routinely expected of fear and disgust. But instead it was admiring glance Fry said something like "that's cool, I would be so," and calm, understanding and sympathetic view of Leela. After all the usual reaction to them, it caused slight shock.

- Okay, Bender, we come to you. Or, if you like, for you ...

- I see, very interesting. - The robot sat in a chair. And like others have already forgotten about the intruder, a Denton followed the conversation.

- Okay. I want to tell you that we were wrong that night. We have forgotten about you and do not pay attention to you. I'm sorry. - Leela her head.

- Yes, Bender, I also forgive you your forgiveness. - Fry joined her. - Sorry that we were so foolish.

- Heh heh, that's how it is. Curious ... I forgive you, then money give. Only here one moment ... Fry, you just came to apologize for it? Or do you want to talk about something else and say that was wrong?

- No. That time ... We both were not quite right. You should not talk like that, and me - so to answer. Bender, well, do not you understand, it's a completely different thing! The fact that we are meeting with Leela ... does not mean that you can not be our friend. There are things that a woman can not be disputed ... In the end, she does not like bowling ... - he tried to explain.

- That is, you need me in that capacity, is it? Replacement when you need someone to talk to, and it is not there?

- No. Why can not you understand? You are my good friend, Bender, you are dear to me, but, as if to say, this is a different plane ...

- You know what, a piece of meat, you go to all these intricacies. So, is not it ... I perfectly understand one thing - I am to you a simple replacement, and nothing more. I am alone you are not interested. So, go to where you came from, I will not detain. - The robot turned to drinking buddies.

- And now, Bender, listen to me. - Strictly spoke Leela taking commanding tone. - To you it does not think you're our friend and we do not care what you and I will continue. And no good ... Did you ever foresee myself knew where and who you got now?

- Ha, and how is it? Itself. I am now a unique, one and only combat robot with cool weapons and impenetrable cover of the most powerful armored group "Stiletto." - He said smugly. - That's it. Also, I almost deputy commander. On tactical part ...

- I see ... So tell me, an iron, how many were killed in the assault on your embassy? How many civilians? - She squinted eyed robot.

- Who says the pieces of meat? Five or ten, who cares? That up to now - killing two.

- Do not you think that the next time on their site can already be you?

- Bah! One, like an idiot, he climbed ahead of the crowd and its riddled. Second, the fool shlopotal missile in the head when leaning. And I, as it should be smart and provident robot walked behind, giving valuable ideas.

- Bender, and the next time your front rows run before enemies? Then what? Or you just send in the scorching heat? Generally, you wonder why it was sent to the embassy you?

- So we're the best. Right, guys? - Robots reacted consonants shouting, Denton continued grimly silent.

- No, Bender, just in the battle odds to rescue the hostages, and to survive themselves, almost was not. You sent for slaughter, live at the mines. I mean, really now earthlings not in hand to fight with tauriytsami. Because our special forces to storm not sent - all would have been killed, and a diplomatic row is not needed. You - is another matter. It will be possible to say that you do act on their own initiative, and thus, the Earth there is nothing. You just set up.

- Haha, maybe, just to know that we invent something? - Said he was not so confident. - Something brilliant, what a just such a brilliant tactician like me.

- But even so ... The two men killed and six hostages in this case, on your conscience. You are responsible for their fallen comrades. After all, do not tell you this, can the loss would have been doing more, but those two, all of a sudden, would have been alive. How, interesting experience?

- You're talking about all the devils! What is responsibility? I am responsible only for ourselves and ourselves.

- Not anymore. Now, all grown-up. Your actions, and your answer. And what will happen next time? If you make a mistake in the next brilliant plan, and will die half-squad, what then? They will all be on your conscience.

- I have no conscience! This is a stupid man's idea.

- Maybe, but do you think, will listen to the advice and orders of someone who is not responsible for them, and only takes a victory while reducing injuries. This is one you do not like?

- Do not tell me how to live, One-eye, you still have not grown before. I'll decide for himself. Without others' advice. Without you, as well. - Bender was offended by it.

- Bender, would you listen to her, something she's right ... - his voice Denton.

- JC, in their cases, I understand myself. Without assistance.

- Bender, I repeat, this is not for you. Take account and get back to us. Everything will be as before. After all, it was not bad ... - repeated Leela.

- As used to be anymore. So I get back. Here I am important, I am here alone. Here I am irreplaceable. This conversation is over.

- Well, as you wish. - Fry nodded. - Just do not forget, if you change your mind, we are waiting for you. In your room I'll leave as it was, your place is at work for you. Just come back when you get tired of playing these games. Goodbye.

- So far, Bender. I hope I'll see you again. - Leela waved her hand.

Again pushed through seemed to grow bigger crowd, Fry and Leela get to the exit. The girl opened the hood, and then handed the gentleman. Dimensions were clearly not meant for two, because that does not get wet, they had to go, huddled close to each other. However, the objection or no one was. Passing by a wide window and looking at the table Bender, Fry said sadly:

- Again, I blew it. Again, not talking, not about that.

- Yes, all right. - She tried to calm him down. - You tried. I also was not able to convince him.

- I thought he began to waver. You caught it. Still this has helped, who was with them ...

- Yes, weird style, but I think his words to mean something Bender, which is amazing. It is a pity that the conversation did not last longer. I think I understand what the argument for it is most important.

- And here's something I do not understand ... - Fry shrugged.

- Uniqueness. You see, it is very important for him to be special, perhaps, many robots have this problem ... If I just brought it up, who knows, what if he were to return. - Delayed regretted it.

- You offer to try to convince him again?

- Yes. We must do it. At the very least, on the day of departure we had just talk. I'm sure we can do it.

- Yeah. Listen, talking about the uniqueness of ... - Fry thought of something. - It's kind of how it is different from others, right?

- Yes.

- So in fact it's simple. He is the only robot I know of, who is friends with people. Suppose he does not like to admit it.

- And this is the idea. - She nodded. - Where have you been before something? Okay, no offense, I'm kidding ... but worth thinking about it. Okay, this is precious. Now, where do we go from here? - She looked at one another.

- Uh ... I think, here it is your house.

They quickly came to the door entrance.

- Wow, I did not know. Conspiracy ... Listen, Fry, outside the weather, wait till you come?

- Probably not ... - Fry slowly shook his head. - Last bus departs soon, I do not have time for it, and the house is full of cases. I'll see you tomorrow, bye.

Quickly kissed her on the cheek goodbye and returning the umbrella, Fry, pulling his shoulders, ran in the rain to the nearest transport tube. Still standing in the front door with an open umbrella, Leela watched him and said softly to herself:

- Which bus, what kind of things at home? What's with him? You'd think he's afraid of me? Strange ...

On Thursday, after all tedious things in class (and a little fun at the shooting range), Bender was desperately looking than in bulk to dispel boredom. After several minutes of deliberation did the idea, which he considered reasonable enough to immediately start its implementation. When he reached the office of Denton, a robot - an incredible thing - knocked on the door.

- It's open. - One told from the inside, JC was there and, like, set up for a chat.

Crossing the threshold, the robot paused for a few moments. The reason for that was not the office interior - everything was standard: a chair, a desk with a computer and safe, plus a door to the next room. Unusual activity was the owner's office. Denton does not seem to experiencing serious inconvenience, got on the back of the metal chair, in addition, balancing on one leg, with a thick book in one hand and a pen in the other. He quickly looked through is constantly making corrections and comments on them himself. Bender read the liner notes: "Conspiracy Theory: revised edition, now with 35% more terrible truth."

- ... The date of the Order of the Illuminati creation - error in four and a half years ... "Majestic 12" guide ... not true Crimson led tactical department, Laman - technical and long-term planning department they do not ... "Men in Black", the address of headquarters flat wrong, is not the standard weapons Seburo and Glock 76 ... error, one mistake, what dilettante wrote this? ... - Turning away from the text, he drew attention to the visitor, - Oh, hi, Bender. No, tell me, how you can give it all for reliable information?

- Come on, this stuff written to grab money, especially without straining yourself. Moreover, work on such books losers who could not get into the writers series. Everyone knows that the "Majestic 12" is a fictitious organization, which each other, "botany" briskly intelligent scare.

- Maybe they're right? - Denton rubbed his neck on the left - I still have a sore spot where the bullet from the defunct sniper invented this fictional organization on their base. Except that the bullet was, for some reason, this is a real and painful ... People believe in government conspiracies. I know about them. That is why the sixteen organizations, half of which are not found in nature, they want to kill me. So with me, no jokes about the CIA-knowing and "Men in Black." Okay, something I chattering too ... So you come with what?

- Yes, I thought here ... JC, you're too busy?

- Not really.

- The second question is: what about to go and have a drink?

- Uh-uh, why me? Robots as fully, all based on.

- Oh, they are boring. Are you at least have something to talk about. I promise, I will not pay out stories about the FBI and their secrets.

- That is correct. Okay, why do not you go? Just bear in mind that I'm not a man. Because drink alcohol for the robots, the number of the corresponding.

- Yes, but last time I thought I was joking ... well OK, so this is wonderful! Forward.

The question of why they needed to take just this table, in the corner of the bar next to the back door, Denton said something about the fire zone and the visibility of all the doors, but the idea did not develop his. While waiting for a beer, Bender automatic "janitors" smacked with ocular drops of water. Denton wiped his glasses, without removing them, and said:

- Damn, I hate rain. All the more so dense. It is better to moonless night.

- By the way, has long wanted to ask: Did it hard to walk at night in the dark glasses?

- I do not hide my eyes from the light, I hide my eyes from the people. They, you know, their glow react very nervously. I see in the dark and through walls, though not far. And the glasses I did not interfere.

- And in view of you can not be said ...

- I explained - the draft maximum level of nanotechnology. These scientists have pushed me in all that we can and that somehow combined. That does not fit, they shoved the second stage. - Denton smiled wryly. - I can fight off a guided missile, like yours, no problem. So lucky that I only have eyes glow.

- A missile that is like?

- Yes, just. They are controlled by "look", then there is a radio channel between the projectile and the operator. When approaching automatically get over frequency, then there is a break and all - rocket ships "in the milk." Without any effort on my part, quite a sight.

- Yes, very ... - recognized Bender. - I would not give up like that. JC, you know what I tell you. Of course, you're still a person. But here you are - a real person. Would be all such as you, the price would you, man, it was not. How much will I recognize you, I understand - you do not even feel ashamed to learn robot. Even to me ... I have a lot to learn from you and you can try, in some way, to be like you.

- Here's how ... - Denton was surprised. - So, to be like me? Bender, are you really think that anyone would want to be like me?

- Of course. Even I want a little.

- Can you tell what caused such an irrational desire. - Asked the agent. - I can not understand it.

- And he asks. Oh, come on ... Well, let them, if I want to hear compliments. - The robot began to bend his fingers. - You said that made a lot of money. You're neither of whom is independent. Can work for anyone they want. You know everything, do each. You are one of the most famous criminals, you all fear and respect. You know a lot of different cool secrets. - Here fingers over. - You know how to work all the powerful tricks, the best of the robot and a person immediately. So, to be honest, I envy you, JC.

- Fame, money, power, independence and knowledge, right? All that much, everything is there. - He nodded in agreement, then suddenly asked: Do you know that I'm a dozen times looking at his gun with one thought: "Now wait a day or shoot?" However, given my bones, but rather would have to use a grenade launcher - grimly JC joked. - Have you thought, what is the downside of all this? What is the fee? I slept for ten years, rising from every sound in arms. Do not get in the car without looking under the bottom, in the room always sit facing the door, and so you can see the window. At me hunted. A dozen intelligence agencies and groups. I can not relax for a moment. Terrible secrets ... I remember when I slept fine. I have many things I would like to forget, but never could. I've seen things that a bullet in the head does not seem the worst way to get rid of the memory of them. As for the power ... I'm a cyborg. Creatures that people are afraid, and robots are considered ugly and a disgrace to his race. And the man I'll never be. This solitude, to which I was doomed. I do not need anything from the fact that I have gained. And from what it was, there was only a part of my stupid and my damn principles.

- Honor? - Asked Bender.

- Yes, Honor! And nothing more. Want to know the truth about this famous "massacre at UNCA?" - Denton leaned closer to him. The question was clearly rhetorical cyborg just wanted to talk. - Find out how it really was? My brother trained from childhood to the service. Not even to the service - to serve.

- Do you still have a brother?

- Yes, Paul. Rather, his brother. Listen further. To give his life for the planet and the government seemed very honorable and heroic ... Then there was the Academy, then the program of nanotechnology. And here it is - the long-awaited service in the secret organization. Fulfilling a dream of a lifetime. And at first, everything was going well. We killed terrorists, bandits ... and after about half brother ordered to kill civilians who somehow prevented the organization that stood between her office and purpose, his guilt was not proved. Paul refused and sent the boss away. I gave the order to eliminate both. Now I sent the heads, instead of them killing agent, who came to check the result. Anna, with whom we have worked together for six months, I fucking shot from the principles that she refused to understand. I had already learned a lot. That our organization and all of our fight against terrorism just a cover for the machinations of government and several corporations. That those whom we killed, like criminals, just wanted to tell people the truth ...

- And what happened next?

- Paul died here in New York, New York, covering me when the apartment where we were hiding, stormed our former colleagues. I was caught, but I was able to escape. And revenge. You see, it all started because of one person, whose existence was very uncomfortable for the organization. And two bloody idealists who were not able to overcome itself and execute the order. After all, I went to these "freedom fighters." I worked for them exactly to the moment, as I was ordered to kill a couple of "disturbing" people who know and never knew existed. I fell again ... In the end, my honor is the only thing I have left ...

He paused, staring straight ahead.

- It was all lies and nonsense, everything I had been taught and what they talked about life. In addition to the ability to kill everything else was a complete nonsense ... And all I can not. I enjoy life, I do feel alive only when doing my job. Espionage, sabotage, assassinations - it all my life. So I found a new meaning. I signed in one structure at a time. They all spoke pretty words about freedom mud service to society, the value of each life and the protection of its citizens. Every time I undertook everything, but just to the point, as I was ordered to remove another "disturbing" person ... I killed those who give orders and those who kept me away. Then repeats again. Believe it or not, but for some time I was in the same pocket with ID carry grenade and pulled out of her check, when the returned documents. I want to find an organization that really does what the states that is at least some ideals ... So far it I could not.

- And you did not think to spit on it and step over principles?

- I thought. Not once. But then on is not anything left. A shadow that can kill. He-he, the evil ghost in a black cloak and glamor glasses. I guess now you know how stupid I be jealous? And in some ways I envy you ...

- You are? I? But why? - Now confused Bender.

- Do you have friends, Bender. The two men, it's your friends?

- Yes. Well, and-and-and ... what? What's this?

- You do not know what value - true friends. Just do not understand. You may seem like the most ordinary thing. But in reality, this is a rarity. Believe me, I've seen enough of life to many things ... why envy. You have someone to talk to, someone to share problems, who to trust. Appreciate it.

- You say that like it's something special.

- And so it is. Believe. I, here, yet. I'm all alone, I do not trust anyone. I have my enemies and allies, and the latter have a tendency to turn into a hideous first. And friends do not. You see, I'm told it's because I'm corny no one to talk for ten years. Bender, take advice from someone who has gone the wrong way ... to make peace with them. I roughly understand what the problem is, and I suggest to you - forget about their grievances. Otherwise, at some point, you'll lose them forever. While it is too late to step back.

- Tell me, JC ... You say that your way is wrong, right? - Bender asked seriously.

- Yes.

- You yourself know that, but to continue on it. Why?

- Because it was my choice. My principles and my honor to lead me to a dead end, but they make me who I am.

- That's why I'll decide for myself. To forgive or not. Return or not. The decision will be right or wrong, but I'll pick myself. Without your advice, and Stott, or Fry and Leela. Because for myself, I decide.

- Is commendable. Maybe cocky, but I understand. Look, we're, like, came here to drink? And we have something to hang out and chat. After this conversation, I feel I should not drink and get drunk. How are you, robots, say, in a zero?

- That's right! First, get drunk before restarting, and then completely to zero! Waiter!!

Chapter 8. Moral issue.

- So let us drink to cybernetics!

- No, for them twice already drinking ...

JC were awkward at first, but after six beers is quite the conversation flowed naturally. However, from the conversation, sometimes interspersed with toasts, it is increasingly turning into a string of toast, lightly diluted talk. But the ability to articulate and he explained the robot and cyborg yet saved, but it is unlikely it could last long in such conditions.

- Uh-uh ... Then let for Murphy? - JC suggested, knowing that a glass (with beer, they just started) for too long is complete.

- For him, too, drank. - Chippy saboteur Bender. His memory was less susceptible to the effects of alcohol.

- In a series of "T"?

- Three times and separately for the T-800 does not clinking glasses.

- For C2H5OH, bother, for C-3PO?

- Come on it, it would be boring ... More Marvin suggested.

- That's right ... for the health meklontsev drank it and I remember. Oh, Molly Millions toast!

- Support! For the lady - standing.

With great difficulty, they still managed to get up and even keep upright long enough to catch a drink. When they collapsed on chairs, Denton began pouring again, is less clearly saying:

- Oh, I came up with the following toast! For Buck...buckm...inst...stera.. . So, I figured, I've had enough for today. If I can not pronounce the name, so its normal fulfilled.

- For the Buck-mi-ni-ster Fuller, here! - The syllables uttered complicated name Bender. - I still can not pronounce it. So, up to the limit we are still far and we can sit on!

- The logic in this statement is ...

- Only now, listen, JC, if you shut down the headquarters of six and a half minutes ago, as we get to the barracks?

- For this you need not worry. If necessary - take off the roof!

- Yeah, and? And we know how?

The question suddenly made both think for a minute.

- For sure! Just had never tried ... - finally decided cyborg. - A friend and I was telling you before the awful truth about collusion with government Mamakorp?

- No.

- Well, then listen, and then it's time to put forward to our headquarters ...

Now look Captain Stott could probably nail nails. Only here, for two people in his office that was quite enough. Bender never acknowledged any authority, and was not going to make an exception for an orc. In turn, to scare Denton, required a heavy cruiser or a thermonuclear charge with a five-second timer, and the background of this Stott clearly lost. Zamkomanduyuschego visitors looked at the face on top of linked hands. On the index finger of his right ring gleamed dully, apparently Cher did not part with it. At the banquet Bender did not witness a demonstration of talent Stott and subsequent conversation, but Denton has enlightened him on the appointment of the ring.

- I call you to clarify the details of yesterday's incident. - He picked up one of the sheets lying on the table. - Yesterday, in your free time you went to the nearest bar. This is your personal time, and you are free to spend it as you see fit. While you, Denton, did warn, do not spoil your reputation. If you kompleksuete from the fact that you are a cyborg, it's not a reason to get drunk with the robots. Even more so - to an extent.

Denton quietly skrezhetnul teeth.

- After that, after forty-six minutes after lights you come to the location. The refusal to let you - broke the fence. As I have written here: one, razognuv bars, second, jumping. And then five meters, among other things. Okay, it's little things. But what the two of you took on the roof? I'm really not talking about what you got in there, up to the sixth floor on a steep wall. And what if it was two voices yelling the song "Great Expectations"? You rouse the whole staff!

JC Bender and looked at each other. Apparently, their memory of this episode is no longer maintained.

- The next idea was to get the roof of the barracks on the ventilation. Though the barracks on the second floor. On the minus second ... Okay Denton, he experienced, he can say, life is doing, but you something, Rodriguez, why suffered him. But hopefully now you understand why we Denton serves as the saboteur? Your clanging in the mine could be heard in the neighboring buildings, I think. Then you fell out in our workshop ...

JC, turning his head almost imperceptibly to partner, silently whispered, "I told you that we have not turned it on the third floor."

- ... Broke down the door, walked past the attendant, if so be it, telling him that you are lagging behind the clock on 10 minutes. After he fell into a stupor from this excuse, you went to their places, as if nothing had happened. On compensation for the repairs will be discussed separately, but for now I want to ask one question: it will not happen again? - Despite the fact that an indifferent tone did not change, the issue is clearly assumed only one answer.

- Yes! Not happen again. - Both said in unison. Every mentally added something like, "... in the next week."

- But still ... - Orc interrupted in mid-sentence videophone call. He replied.

- Mr. Stott? - The screen is rotated to Sher, then those present could not see him. The voice was flat and very boring, not expressing any emotion. Even Sher was very far from it.

- Yes, I am. - Visitors pretended to have no understanding of gestures chief, whom he tried to remove them.

- Again, this presidential administration. We would like to discuss with you one question. Desirable as possible. Today, you'll be able to come to us?

- Yes, it is. What exactly is it?

- Sorry, but I do not know. Mr. Nixon personally tell you everything. When you have to wait?

- For an hour. And let's do without checks and ceremonies, I too expensive time.

- It's in our best interest. Miss you right to the president. All the best. - Stott disabled videophone. Then he looked up at the still before it, the visitors and said

- The conversation is not over, but we'll talk about later. Free.

- Yes! - Both quickly left the room.

Already beyond the threshold Bender asked quietly:

- What do you think, why he was called?

- Do not know, but my hunch is not very good. It's obviously that is not the reward for a successful attack. Seems to me, Nixon liked to solve their problems with our hands. And I feel that we can again be drawn into another political game, in which players can only survive. Just as in youth, honestly ...

- You wanted to see me?

- Oh, you're on time, Captain. Come on in, we have a long conversation.

If Stott and was surprised to challenge his face it was impossible to read. But the visit was not just to the White House, and personally to the president of the Earth. A lot of time the road is not taken away - since, as in the 28m century building was moved to the New New York (along with the famous lawn), all issues can be resolved here, without having to travel to Washington. Face of the planet to higher Sher missed almost without delay, but selecting all the weapons, and he now stood in the office and waited for Nixon will talk. The president clearly bored by the lack of the old body and the inability to walk back and forth in front of the window, because the bank's head past the window was of a robotic body, he inherited from Vernstruma.

- Say, you recognize democratic elections? - Richard started from afar.

- No. This system is not practical. Only one-man rule can be quite effective.

- You're right, of course, it is. - Nixon nodded in the bank. - All is well in the same way, with the exception of certain rituals ... and choose one of them. To select a candidate, in addition to money to bribe voters and brainwashing has a definite value such a thing as a "pre-election program." This is like a short story in the genre of science fiction utopia, which tells of a paradise on earth, which will come if he wins this man. This program was and I have. As long as you get it?
- In general terms. It is not clear what relationship I have ...

- Patience, Captain, patience. This is an important quality for a politician. Computer, display the list of my campaign promises in order of importance. - The body has put the jar on the table, so Richard could see a large monitor on the wall and there arose the text.

Down the screen slowly crept list consisting of two columns. On the left - a promise, right - its current status. "The elimination of unemployment," "public safety", "freedom of speech" and other benefits on the one hand, and on the other each time the orange words "not satisfied" or red "failure."

- At the end of the list. - Ordered Nixon.

Here, things were better. Last, 213th and 212 points, "to deal with global warming," and "win the war in Tarantulona 6", were marked in green.

- You see the captain, I was elected to again, I do not have to perform all. And it is not possible. But if I realize a couple of promises, then people will say, "he began," "you just need to give it some more time," "it works consistently and quickly gets to the top lines." Of course, not everyone is so naive, but think so - the majority, and they go to the polls. I, on the other hand, you only need to deal with a couple of promises and thrive for another four years. Look at paragraph 211, for this and I have called.

- Thank you for the lesson, it really is an interesting idea, I do not know ... - Orc sincerely thanked him. - Deal with the problem of mutants. - I read slowly Stott. - I still do not understand ... I am a soldier and I know only one way of solving problems.

- You understood me correctly, Captain. This is exactly what is required of you and. I like how you handle the situation at the embassy, ​​and I think you coped here.

- Require something I can only my commander. - To find fault with the words counselor. - Why do not you do it on their own? I do not think it's dangerous.

- Yes, I'd love to! But all of these wimp, damn liberals, pacifists and other stoned hippies ... They howl to raise polgalaktiki! "Blood mode" and all that ... I care about them after all. In general, the captain, it should be just your group.

- But in this case, the anger will turn to it already. - Cher was also not an idiot.

- Sorry. But you'll be in the clear, do not worry. "The sudden failure of logic blocks control robots," this is how it will be named in the investigation. Which automatically gives me the ability to easily perform a legitimate item 210 - "to limit the independence of robots." We will introduce the mandatory installation of all of the additional control schemes and submission. That's up to you, I suppose, the compensation paid is more than enough to hire a new team. Everything will turn out fine. Fails, the robots destroyed mutants. I got nothing to do with it, you will too. But, anyway, this problem no longer exists. Beauty ...

- Capital to acquire and preserve their innocence ... I think it is your saying? And what is our interest? Why do I do this action, and with the loss of the entire order?

- Mercenary can always dial again, not that it's a rare commodity. - Contemptuously uttered president. - And the price ... I think you'll agree when I say that your commander is not able to contract? Well, he does not understand hints, too straightforward. You - is another matter. Let's just say, the revision of our recent agreements with the Union and omikrontsami Betelgeuse in your favor. Plus all the materials on the cruisers of the "Asgard". It suits you?

- Yes. The contract is concluded. Can I go now?

- Wait, there's one more thing. Computer show last open document. - On the screen there was a private affair with photography. - There is one incident ...

- I know this person.

- Wow. This, as you say, the person - the source of a huge headache. Before everything was fine, lived himself as a representative of a rare species of aliens, and no one said nothing. But six months ago, she applied for and was officially re-registered as a mutant. And that fat ass Popenmeyer, went to meet her paperwork! But this is a very dangerous precedent, there might be willing to repeat it. We have already rejected several petitions. The best way to stop the growth of tension - eliminate destabilizing factor. Even more to say ... This task is just as important as the main one. If you can not fulfill the main goal, you have to perform a minor. The reward will be equal to the primary.

- The issue is resolved. We have an employee that is suitable for this job. However, it does not pass, I'll be too valuable frame. - Set the terms Stott.

- As you wish, if he is able to do everything clean, then why not.

- This is a professional. How long is the performance?

- Four days. And so we struck up with this problem.

- Roger that. Everything will be done in time.

The night before there was talk that Cher again found some work for his party. It seems that Nixon liked to use the "Stiletto" for their own purposes, and he's going to resort to their help again. However, this information was confirmed only in the morning, when Stott has caused all the robots to tactical room for information to plan future operations. Before that, he invited me to his Denton, apparently to instruct it to a separate task.

Bender in the company of Aditya first got there. Apparently, the conversation with the chief agent was delayed. And when he heard voices from inside the cabinet, the robots that the conversation slowly, but surely, turns into a scandal.

- Denton, you forget yourself! I gave you an order, and you must carry it out.

- I repeat orders of this kind, I refuse to perform!

- Agent, the elimination of individuals are beyond the scope of your responsibilities. I do not see something extraordinary in this job.

- From a technical point of view, the operation is the same complexity. But it is, so to speak, against my principles.

For a few seconds there was a tense silence. Probably tried to realize Stott heard. Finally, he was able to continue:

- What are you talking about, Denton? You spy, spy and assassin, who gave two dozen organizations. What you may have principles? Stop stuffing his worth and begin to carry out my orders.

- I tell the last time - "no."

- Are you sure of his decision, the agent?

- Well, since you started talking ... then ... go to hell, Cher, I quit! Here's license.

Robots that time has come very close to the door. Hearing about identity, Bender recoiled sharply to the side, pulling for a colleague. He did it on time - almost at the same moment the door opened on the bounce, and then crashed into the wall and hung on one hinge. Vybivshy its JC, barely stepped into the hall, took a step to the right, leaning against the wall, covering his head with his hands on top.

After another moment in the office there was a powerful explosion. Flinched all the building out of the doorway to the opposite wall hit a pillar of smoke, dust and various debris, gently lit by purple.

- But if there are those who come to you, there are those who will come after you ... - Denton muttered, trying desperately to shake off the cloak of dirt.

Checking almost overloaded audiosensory, Bender made a note in memory - the saboteur ask where that takes such a powerful grenade. No regrets because of the untimely death of his boss, he did not feel. But Aditi first did not believe what he sees, and then began to make his weapon at the cyborg, clearly intending to avenge Stott. But before he could take aim - JC already snatched from under his cloak shortened machine to shoot without thinking long queue. In such circumstances, does not solve the most advanced protective coating because vortex plasma focus just blew the robot head.

Bender first mechanically raised his right hand, moving the laser in the battle mode, but stopped himself in the middle of traffic. First, this is not his business, he is indifferent and Stott, and their differences with JC. Second, he could clearly see the superiority of Denton and realized that, despite their friendly relations, now the agent will not hesitate to send it after the first victim. Because the robot arms back in the stowed position and slowly lowered his hand. Cyborg nodded, his eyes could not be seen face was friendly.

- The right thing to do. I would not like to shoot you. - He dropped his gun. - Come with me. More here doing nothing, they are no better than the rest.

- No. I'll take care of himself, who is better and who is worse, and I do.

- You do not know what ...

Drill run out to the corner properly assess what is happening, because once fired a missile. Bender did not have time to do, but Denton heard a familiar sound, instantly turned around, exposing the front of the left hand. Halfway to his rocket went up almost vertically, the explosion has done an impressive hole in the ceiling, through which could be seen minus ceiling of the first floor. Without waiting for the next attack, JC seemed straight out of the sleeve fished electromagnetic grenade and abruptly threw it at the enemy. Hit it exactly on the forehead, the grenade instantly knit and then tripped, cutting robot for several hours. Bender at that moment thought that Denton has his cloak not only for style but also because under it, if desired, you can hide an arsenal.

- As you wish. But you'd better accept. - On both sides there was a stampede. Denton nodded goodbye and said: Flushed away at the first opportunity.

He jumped in without a run done by a rocket hole, almost immediately above came the hiss and roar of the plasma breaks. The right side shows three robots, two more left. One of them asked the natural question single witness:

- Bender, what the hell is going on?
But to hear the answer, he did not have time. From the shattered cabinet suddenly fell Stott. Orc was in the dirt and grime from head to toe, but alive and well and even did not seem injured. Only he cried in a loud voice, or his concussion blast, whether he could not contain the emotions:

- Cursed be the day I hired the bastard! After warning that he was all hard ... Damn, it looks like he did not know what we prefer to do the work tables of titanium! So, and what you stand? Alive for him! Delay is not necessary to destroy the better! Do it!

- Yes! - All six robots answered simultaneously and ran for the stairs. Bender enjoyed myself that Cher is clearly not hear what they said Denton. The robot is not going to leave the organization, and certainly did not want to be recorded in the Stott traitors.

Cyborg almost escaped. Only managed to stop it on the pier. Are pretty shabby and repeatedly injured JC caught in the cross fire and was not able to activate in time protection. One rocket exploded a few feet from him, and the second - almost in the way. Blast body dumped into the water to find it as yet. But the victory was not easy: two robots could not be reconstructed, and three were damaged easily, they were sent to the shop. Loss of orcs was not - Denton did not enter with them into battle, only a couple of times by applying a paralyzing gas grenades and stunner. Bender easily gone under suspicion, blame the concussion from the explosions and jammed by laser.

When everything is more or less back to normal, Stott did the meeting go on modifying a plan of operation due to changes in the situation. The preparation of the shares remained little more than a day.

[Reply #4 on:]

Chapter 9. Only you can decide.

Metal feet slapped loudly on the water, it does not try to move Drill Bender and quieter. Luckily for them, the walls are densely overgrown with mold and moss, because the sound of Gus, and not spread over polkanalizatsii. After all the losses last week squad now has thirteen robots, and, moreover, still, the two went on a special mission because Cher decided to attack the city of mutants five groups (there were three in one) from different directions.

While they ran in silence through the dark passages, with Bender's had time to think. He could not so much to say exactly why he had decided to remain in the service, and not get out with Denton. There was a desire to defend their opinions, and not to submit to JC, not to be addicted to it, so as not to repeat history with Fry. In addition, he did not want to go back just so, because it would mean that he lost, it was his friends were right. And he liked the work. And another thing, when the last battle is through the roof emotions: euphoria, a sense of permissiveness, freedom, a sense of self-righteousness and true finding on the side - all at once. And the money for the operation at the embassy had been paid, impressive even by the standards of maximalist Bender. Doing things that give pleasure, for it also paid. Although there were doubts. JC declined the work and defended his decision to end. In addition, from time to time Bender remembered his words, that after the joy of battle comes grief, and then just indifference. He could not imagine it, but Denton said at that very convincing ... and in the very formulation of the job is something troubled him. That is, a particular liking to mutants he did not feel, and most of the inhabitants of the surface treated them cool. But while they will service and relieve the city of a serious problem, for some reason, Stott said, "you will protect from the consequences." Hence, the reaction of the people at this time may be far less approving. Although it was devoid of logic - because nobody likes mutants - Bender had already understand that in the case of people regularly logic is useless.

The tunnel is finally over, the robots got in a utility room. Square room, about ten meters long and wide, with two entrances on the contrary, turned green concrete walls, beams corroded pipes and cables hanging from the ceiling, the floor is covered with a layer of water mixed with mud. Center of the room still somehow covered a pair of dim white lights, drowned in the dark corners.

Androids paused for a moment at the center of the room, trying to figure out where to go next. At this point, one of the unsurveyed passages flashed a bright flash, causing the walls to throw the broken shade. Drill fell to the floor, the water hissed at his body, pierced right through plasmoid. At the same moment, Bender lost radio contact. Robot slowly retreat, sending all trunks on a dangerous tunnel. When a familiar voice came from the other side, he almost blurted out the sound.

- Bender, it's us. Please, let's talk. - Leela slowly walked out of the darkness. Can see it was not very good, she wore a black uniform jacket as the temperature in the cave is only slightly greater than zero Celsius.

- Yes, my friend, let's dispense with the shooting. - Fry came from the other side, too, in the jacket. Over his right shoulder he has been thrown belt plasma rifle. Long barrel, with three short rods form the magnets at the muzzle, just watched the robot's chest. - Bender, you know my reaction and why - do not provoke, please.

- And how do you want it all mean? - He is more surprised than angry. Bender was trying to get in touch with the others, but he is not given.

- About your operations became known. Oh, and radio is not working, my bracelet all jamming. - Leela patted his left hand on the wrist. - Let's talk in private. Look, I do not know what to expect your commander? You will put all the same after that. Bender, mass genocide is too serious to, like to forgive.

- Ha, we do not. We closed down.

- Who? - Ask Fry

- Personally, Nixon. This is his command, he will cover.

- Damn! Leela, I told you, he mentioned about Nixon.

- Yeah, but I thought it had already started raving ...

- So, the meat, it is about who you are? In general, those who have passed? Where are you from?

- Do not you know? - Leela was surprised.

- Yes, Bender, imagine how everyone was pleased when in the middle of an emergency planning meetings on Saturday suddenly falls ventilation hatch, and then ... Loot directly on the table barely alive man in a black cloak, wet and covered with wounds, in blood from head to toe. Then he points to the Leela says, "I was ordered to kill you, but I refused," and cut down ...
- Heh heh, imagine your faces. Sorry, I was not there ... - It just is talk of old friends. - Wait, but JC was killed.

- It is specifically set up, sent a rocket almost at his feet, all thought that he was killed. He said the two birds with one stone - orcs stopped the chase and then when it's over, it will consider the dead those who hunt him. But still, it firmly trounced: many wounds left arm was almost torn off. A man in his position would have given up the ghost. Leela, are you not in the know, the cyborg is a soul?

- There are, though they call it a ghost. But back to our problems. JC was very bad, but, occasionally coming to himself, had to tell us about your plan. And so we contacted the glory.

- With the team?

- Yes. It was a real shock, but when he came to himself, without further ado, and agreed to help identify any force. Mira is a company of soldiers in the mutants, they blocked all approaches. You know, Bender, sewer mutants known as the, - Leela faltered - well, anyone out there how many fingers. Find the tunnels through which you climb, it was quite difficult, especially since JC enlightened us about the general plan of attack. During those six days, we even had time to hang out there on the surveillance camera.

- Why? Why is it so difficult. - The robot looked up, as if expecting to find it, and the camera.

- Do not you understand? - Fry said, adjusting his weapon. - To see a tunnel going through what you are. When we defined the route, it's taking this thing off here. Together, the more there's nobody here. As for the other four groups, each in the way orcs ambushed.

- You pereb'ete them?

- First, they will be offered to surrender and lay down their arms. In case of disobedience to apply measures ... - explained the girl. - And those two that followed me take right there.

- What? - Bender confused. - For you? But as Cher found out you know?

- Bender, do not be an idiot. Stott does not know. I - is also part of your job. I'm a mutant. And Nixon issued a license to hunt all mutants. One of them. - She said evil.

- I see ... So, JC wanted to warn me about it ... - robot muttered quietly.

- What?

- Nothing. You better tell me, why all this? You have decided to kill myself, not trusting the orcs? How grateful I am ...

- Bender, are you really bad? - Fry asked sympathetically. - Do not you understand? We are here to help you ...

- Yeah, I see. In your hands is a great tool for reaching out to others. Vaughn, Drill from your warm concern lies barely alive.

- Bender, and you know when the objectives of the job, did not think to give up? - Leela asked softly.

- No, why would all of a sudden?

- Okay, a leading question ... Do you think we got involved in this whole thing just because JC told us it was all for the sake of justice?

- Well, sort of. Hehe, you've always been pushed to the justice, one-eyed.

- You do not think that I have here is a kind of self-interest?

- Uh-uh ... no. The same underground mutants, which you-then the case before them?

- There's my parents doped moron! And they would be among your target, we do not intervene in the proceedings.

- So what? Then what do you care about that?

- Are you serious? You really do not understand?

- What am I supposed to understand?

- Bender, - climbed Fry - you're saying that there are no robot warm feelings to those who made you in the light - this is normal, right?

- Of course. Why would I thank them? Here's more! I am a normal robot, not a bag of bones, I was alien to these animals atavism.

- I understand your position. - Said Leela overly calm voice. - Bear in mind for the future, for these people here ... atavism are somewhat different. If this is you will put on some thoughts poroysya in memory, find the emotions caused when you take care of the orphans from the orphanage, put in reverse and multiply by a hundred. Get a rough sense of what I feel. And the explanation of the reasons why I love you without arms spaced iron shavings, if you make this room even move. Forgive my stupid human emotions ... - she smiled so that Bender once fell off the slightest wish to check, and it's not a joke. At Fry from the smile faltered a rifle.

- But you, I have not explained what the hell were here in person?

- Do you still not understand? Narva you the orcs, the chances of survival would have been 50 to 50. And so, we offer you a way out. To escape. There are even a couple of different options. Best of all, if you help put Stott and indict Nixon. To you then no claim - you're working undercover. Can you just leave the game to run away from here, forge documents and interrupt numbers on the details. There is a version with the delivery of the police, but it really did not even consider it. Or ...

- Or what?

- You can go to the end, Bender. But this does not make any sense, your already tied. And you will not work. In this case, I will shoot, if not death ...

- You shoot me?

- Yes. Sounds strange, but for your own good. So you do not become famous that way. So you do not frighten children. Understand, Bender, you are our friend. We want to help you. I do not know about you, but we do not ... you do not know what to say, boring, bad, something like this ...

- Well, well, will not lie, then ... - robot embarrassed. - What are you up to me and that I care about you?

- Bender, think of what you were about five years ago. - Said Leela. - What was I. And how was Fry. But first of all - remember you. And compared with those who you are now. And who we are. You see the difference?

- Well, let's see, what of it? What's this?

- You see, we can not now so easy to give up, after everything that went together. It's a unique phenomenon ... The robot, who is friends with the person. In my opinion, there is no other such. Do you understand that, we stand out. We are among the people, and you are among the robots.

- Well, you're certainly among the people and so not weak ... But something stood out in this. You mean I'm special because I communicate with you?

- Yes. We're friends. Robots usually only communicate with the robots, but there is a unique case. You know, Bender, we've influenced each other ...

- Here again, no one does not affect me.

- You can not live in society and not be changed by it. Not immediately, gradually, little by little. Especially, when it comes to friends. You change us, we change you ... Now your character is something from me, something of Fry. As well as our - some part of you. So, we have the rare instances - people to learn something from the robot and the robot, who took something from the people. Such other definitely not.

- Hmm ...

- One more thing ... Denton, when delirious, he said that, had more time, I would like to be your friend. Do you know why?

- No. I never understood why he treated me differently.

- He said you're not like all the other robots. What for you is not so important appearance, you are above those prejudices. That you stood out among all the others is that the only reacted to it ... I do not know, a human being, perhaps ...

- Really?

- Yes. - Confirm instead Fry. - So, do you understand that you do not have to be a murderer and genocide begin to be known, among others, stand out from the crowd. You're coming with us? Back?

- I do not know ...

- How touching ... - the appearance of a new actor did not give him finish. Shadow behind Fry seemed to thicken and gained independence. And also took the form of an orc in black paramilitary jumpsuit with a holster on his belt. Tucked away in the shadow of a single bound Stott reached earthling and hit before he could even turn around. Series of several lightning strikes - in the back, the neck, under the heart - and the courier bent falls to the ground, and Cher casually directs easily selected rifle at Leela. Seemed aimed at his gun Bender he did not notice. - Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but the moment I introduced appropriate. Do not move, miss, with the distance, and I with my eyes closed, do not miss, huh, past your eyes.

- Stott, what the hell are you doing? What did you do to him?

- Calm down, Rodriguez. From the man all right. He's just unconscious. I did not want it to interfere with our conversation. And we have a lot to talk about.

The girl glanced at Fry gently, then at Bender. Robot like to believe. But she knew this very unpleasant reception. There are two options. Cher or made a mistake in his conduct by loosening one of the attacks, which have killed her boyfriend (at the thought, as if the heart to skip a beat). Either he did everything right, and now Fry is alive and able to hear what is happening, but paralyzed for a while. Spasm, which reduces much of the muscle - a very unpleasant task, and very, very painful. Leela felt her mind begins to obscure veil of hatred and tried to pull myself together. She managed not to end.

- I, you know, I have a habit to look for jobs like novices. Once again convinced of the usefulness of this practice. Are you so much ... We have uttered quickly change plans. Perform the task in full is not possible, however, to complete the second half of it seems to be possible. Bender, you help me, do not you?

- What?

- Look, it's all nonsense ... I remember what you think really. Remember what you said then. Was to blame the girl. Without it, everything would be fine. That because of her all the trouble. That you would love to get rid of it ... This is your chance. Comply with the order and fulfill his wish. Kill her. In doing so, as do all the cool guys, decide the problem in one fell swoop, without talking, and these stupid question. Your friend will know nothing. Just a random incident. And once you get rid of the difficulties.

- Bender, listen to me, if you do that, you make a mistake. - Now Leela knew what to do with Fry was so. If Bender is going to kill her, Fry found out. And then about a friendship between them can not be considered. Bender will have two options: suicide or booth ... work on Stott. - This is not a method. You do as a puppet Cher. Understand, if Fry, however, your friend, so you can not act. Imagine, as if I was ordered to kill you. I do not, because you're a friend Fry, you are dear to him, almost as much as I do. So do, as do the real friends, prove that Denton was not mistaken in you, that you really are different from all the other robots ...

- And that, Bender, you believe it? Correct way there is only one, do as I say ...

- Bender, listen to me, I want to help you ...

- So, shut up both. You are bothering me. I'll take care of itself, without your lectures. These are my friends, and only I decide how I will deal with your friends. Understand, without help. - With these words, he sent a gun to Stott.

- The choice is made. Sorry. - It seems that such actions will not get too excited.

However, in the hands of a robot he watched. Worth it to get ready to fire, as the orc opened fire first. A master shot was sent to the store guns, and he reached the goal. The powerful explosion threw Bender to the entrance to the hall, throwing already badly mauled by the shock wave of the housing wall. His left hand was blown to pieces at once. Tracing the eye flight his former subordinate, Cher forgot about the last opponent. He turned at the sound, when Leela was already there, she managed to grab a rifle and not allow him to aim, trying to turn out a gun from his hands. Men were equal, neither he nor she could not hold a single blow with full force, prevented blocks and constant motion. But the girl managed to the end to realize the advantage of surprise. She jumped over the rifle, immediately urging orc under your knees and freeing one hand. In order not to get hit and fall to the back, Stott was forced to let go of their arms and turn over in the air, drop kicks. Leela jumped to extinguish the impact energy, and did a somersault over one arm. She immediately jumped up, throwing his rifle ... and saw a pale smile orc stilled diverting towards the right hand. Barrel fell to the floor with three pieces of perfectly straight cuts. The last line was only a few inches from her fingers, forearm contraction.

- Devil's whip ... - Sighing, she threw a useless weapon.

- Exactly. Well, now it's my turn. Sorry, no time for games, though, I'd be curious ... order is an order, you become too big headache for influential people. - Cher pulled out his gun with his left hand, took the safety and aimed.

Of all laser pulses raced in front of him, a clean cut brush. Stott immediately sat down, turning on the spot quickly throwing his right hand to the side who managed to climb Bender. The second phase is not followed, the thread has worked reliably - first fell severed arm, then began to slide the upper half of the head, and then the whole body collapsed in parts. Without looking at it, Cher waved his whip, casting a deadly circle around and not giving close Leela. In a way, he was lucky - the beam simultaneously cauterized the wound, now bleeding did not threaten him, and the pain, it looks like he was not paying attention.

- You're gonna die ...

- Do you really think you can threaten me with death? - Genuinely curious orchestra. - Looks like you still have to deal with personally. The more interesting. But so is not fair, is it? - Cher slowly pulled back his good hand, ready at any moment to strike. Then he took out from behind a combat knife, turned in her hands. - So it's fair, is not it? Your weapon ... Catch.

He threw a sharp flick of the blade, simply, without any rotation. Then he grunted in surprise. The girl froze, slightly bend your head and holding the blade between the palms in front of the face. Arms out, she found the right weapon on the way to the floor.

- Thank you. Your honesty is limitless ... - visibly trembling voice, she first performed this trick with a real weapon. His hands ached from the strain, she knew it was her limit.

- But not for that. You have a bad reaction. And a great eye. - Cher pale smile. - More interesting ... Tell me you probably curious why Nixon to your life?

- No. I already knew. Me far more interesting: how do you, the orc turned into such a monster. After all, for the honor you in the first place, and you do not even know the meaning of the word. - She walked slowly round, the opponent did the same.

- And how much do you know? Yes, I heard what you told me to paint. Yes, so it was. For him ... It killed all of my company, and I survived. They gave me the damn "Diamond sickle" ... You know what feature of this award? Almost always it is given posthumously.

- You should be proud. - Cher suddenly waved his hand. Leela rebounded, but not fast enough. Was a deep cut on his left shoulder, cheek blood came from a long scratch.

- Do not worry, the thickness of the thread so that the wounds from her heal without scarring. Of course, if three adarskih bastard did not compete, who will snatch you have a big piece of meat at one blow ... So what? What I feel proud of? When I got out of the hospital where I was going to pieces, I realized something ... Nothing has changed! Us from childhood hammered this nonsense about honor, duty, death for his people, to fight ... All this nonsense! Now, I died there, in the sands of Adar II for his people. Something changed for me? But damn! I was dead, you know? And if I'm dead, I can do anything, and I spit on the code. - It is with incredible difficulty dodged the blow on his legs.

- Are you crazy! - Leela at the last minute deflected by passing the whip by the throat, but in the return stroke of she got a kick on the hip.

- No, I'm pretty normal. I just opened my eyes ... I went to war to Adare. I personally went into battle and developed operations. I'm not averse to anything, most of their dirty and dastardly tricks. Lose me there was nothing left, my honor with life left in the sand ... I did not realize then that I acted alone. I found the adartsa. I challenged him to a duel to the whip, as taken from them. He accepted the challenge, they have the most elementary notions of honor in a duel. I killed him with it's knife. Throw, his reaction was worse than yours. Dying, he told me that I take his place and accept his role. You know, I understand him ... - she had no time to dodge the next blow, managing only close at hand. The end of the whip ripped sleeve, but jumped to the side. Bracelet stood a stroke, is more than practicing all the money paid for it once.

- But I do not understand.

- That's it. I killed him, sacrificing for this honor, I was one of them, I took his place. I knew it. Why do you think I'm a third person in the military, I am a captain?

- Heh heh, do not give more stars? - With these words, she decided to attack. Orc has not regained his balance after the previous outburst, he was therefore unable to hit in full force. The thread was passing on his chest and left arm, but Leela broke a distance attack. A direct blow to the throat Stott rescued a crippled hand. When she turned the blade and tried to hit the top down - the face without flinching, took the knife on the same hand. Immediately turned her around, trying to snatch weapons, while striking the right elbow. She managed to pull out a knife, the blow to leave, so he just slipped through her hair. But the initiative has already been lost, lash could follow at any time. She pushed the orc left hand, forcing off balance, and jumped to the side, kuvyrknuvshis in the air. The whistle had already got it when it lands, but Cher was late - a thread cut off part of the "horse's tail".

- No. Captain Sher Stott was killed along with his company. I - this is not it. Just a ghost. Which can serve my people. I knew it. And he began to serve. Began to fight not as dusty tells our code, as well as the war with us. With the wolves to live, howl like a wolf, is it you say? I did not understand, I refused to conform. I created my division. Obedient. True, he had to hire here. We did not ignore anything. The shooting of the prisoners, sabotage and provocation, the destruction of civilian. All for the sake of victory. And the victory was ours!

- And how could you do this? Red is not a complete idiot. He sees who you are and what you are doing.

- Prince too fond of easy victories. He believed me. He gave me what I asked for, not interested in the details. I guess later on he will make a great politician, not inferior to the earth. But while he too holds on to the code, trying to back away from it to a minimum. It will pass ... - Leela already weakened from blood loss, the reaction brings. It has once again rebounded quickly enough, paying for it one more cuts on her collarbone. Because she was trying to keep a conversation, although had to protect his breath. So was the chance to bring him out of himself, to make an impulsive act. Chance in the battle she was not a guarantee.

- I wonder how much you promised for my life?

- Money does not interest me. But for you, we will get a lot of benefits. I found a decent pay.

- Decent pay for the death of thousands of ... You're a maniac, Stott. You're even worse. For you, life is just not worth anything. Nor life, nor honor, nor own or someone else's.

- Of course, I lose. - Sweep whip almost left without Leela hands. She even thought it does not take a chance with throwing knife, but abandoned the idea. Orc speed enough to chop blade still on approach.

- But I know why you personally gets involved in the transaction. Why does all this tell me. I know why you do not rest.

- Really, really curious.

- Doubts, Cher ... Do you still have doubts. Do you remember who you were before. Before taking the first step on this path. You still do not trust myself. And do not believe in your choice. You're always in doubt. You need proof.

- How interesting, what do I doubt?

- The price. You sold your honor for revenge and for the victory. For glory, for my situation. You still do not believe that was right. You pletesh intrigues you personally gets involved in a fight, you kill with his own hands ... You want to prove that knowingly sacrificed for the honor of victory. And time and again you have not, and you do not believe Me.

- Well, it seems I had a great idea. You do, the same as all of us. Honor more than life, right?

- Yes, in contrast to you, for me it is. - Panting said Leela, realizing that nothing good from it should be expected.

- Fine, fine. - Orc stopped, so did she. - And how do you like this version. Over there is your friend and employee, for whom you are responsible, your friend. Very much alive, he even hears us, I guess. You have a choice. In one case, I will kill him, and then you'll do, you know that my victory is only a matter of time. Otherwise ... I, somehow, have to perform a task, and you actively resist. Do you have a knife. I guess this is enough to solve the problem. His life does not interest me. I do not think you take any oath from me, but I can promise you that in this case he is still alive.

- You give me ...?

- Yes, that's right. The alternative would be his death. - He led in the direction of the right hand. - I count to ten. After that, you're doing or how to honor orders or I'll kill him, and we will continue our fight. The clock is ticking. Ten ...

It literally froze. If do not believe, look for weapons, clutched in his right hand, looked at Fry.

- Nine ... eight ...

Fingers on the handle turned white, she held the blade to her chest, then raised to the throat.

- Seven ... That's right, come on, just one swing.

Blade whistled a couple of centimeters from the neck, she put it, already holding in his left hand, and said:

- Go to hell, Stott! You did not kill him. I refuse, and now this makes no sense!

- Six ... I'll kill him, to show the seriousness of his intentions. And so you know, that the blame for his death. Five ...

- The failure to hell, Cher. I'm not going to die because of it. Kill, if you will.

- Four ... Well, you yourself so decided. Three ...

- Yes, my life is dear to me. Want me to kill.

- Two ... What an honor?

- I do not care for the honor of my life I appreciate the above!

- Good for you, girl, you begin to understand me. Another one ... change my mind?

- No, it is your life. And to me, my expensive.

- The word lady - the law. Zero ... - Cher waved.
Leela immediately rushed forward to get between him and Fry. Even Stott did not immediately respond to rush. Two steps to run, leap, roll on the concrete and she jumped to her feet, exposing the front of the right hand. Whip struck on the forearm, the jacket was cut, but the bracelet stood a stroke, the thread was wrapped around him, deeper incisions into your device. The girl waved her hand twice, twisting two loops while holding on to the strap and removed the whip from Fry. Cher tried to do something, but could not quite a bit. The girl spun in place, pulling the whip to stop and literally dragging themselves to the enemy. Stott, tried to close, but failed, a knife in her left hand reached the goal, in addition, the blow was superimposed on the acceleration. Blade deeply into Stott's chest. Froze for a second, Leela leap turned back, pulling his right hand out of the loop and causing the kick to fling back and beat orc knife already on guard. Just at this point, the device is not passed, the expansion of a few shards with razor sharp edges. Loose whip lashed in a few places on the forearm, then walked in the same pieces of metal and plastic.

Almost fainting from pain shock, she landed on one knee, resting his left hand on the floor. Right hand she held on departure and tried to not look the other side. Being able to look up, she saw Cher unsuccessfully trying to get up. Then Leela attended to much more important issue. She looked at Fry. A friend was alive and not injured, according to the Troubled dirt, thread has not held up to five centimeters neck ... She again looked at the orc. Then he scrambled to his feet and went to Fry and sat down next to him. Gently running his hand through his hair, whispered softly:

- Do not worry, it will soon pass. Just wait a little bit. I'll get back to you. Just finish one thing. 'll Teach someone. I'll be back ...

She got up and went to brush otstrelennoy orc. Resting his boot, pulled out the gun with his left hand. Right incredibly sick, but it was in place, even, like, all the fingers could move. And it does not assume, since the last counter, that hand can be maintained. Then she went to and who could not stand Stott. Leela put her foot on his chest, the sight in his right shoulder. Even so, Sher was able to laugh and say:

- Here you are, and took over ... You're the same as me ... Or how he adarets ... Do not forget to pick up after themselves ... ring ... as a sign of honor for the victory. Lie for the sake of their own salvation ... You turn the other, you broke your word - do anything to win ... Now this role gets you ...

It seemed that she did not listen to him. The girl looked at the wreckage of Bender in the corner, then to the crouching in pain Fry. Looked back in the direction of the underground city. Her eyes narrowed, the gun went up slightly.

- You will die.

- Ha ... killing me, you can not change anything ... and did not prove anything to anyone ... I have been dead ... Shoot, if you like ...

- I want to. And fired. Finally die ...

The room lit up two bright flashes. Then Leela released weapon, allowing him to plop into the mud. After standing for a few seconds without moving, she turned to go to Fry. But suddenly in the middle of the step fell on the floor, next to the body of Stott. Complaints of pain, blood loss and incredible tension were stronger, she has just finished his last strength. Already losing consciousness, she had time to think, "Wow, what a ridiculous death ..."

Leela woke up from falling on the face with cold drops. Opened her eye, she saw the ceiling above him. Intertwining of rusty pipes and moldy concrete rare dim lights - she is clearly still in the sewers. But the ceiling was moving, which means that it is not left lying on the same spot. It felt quite strange, but she realized that someone was carrying her in his arms.

Moving the view to the side, she tried to make out an unexpected savior. In the faint light of Leela could see quite pale face with a frozen stubborn and focused expression. If not for the color of the hair, it would probably not recognize Fry so different it was now over.

- Red* ... - she called softly.

He anxiously looked at her, not stopping to walk, then leaned forward and whispered in his ear:

- Do not say anything. You're seriously injured, do not move and do not speak. We've almost made it ... Hold on a little bit more. Do not be afraid, I'll take care of everything, violet**. Everything will be fine, do not worry ...

He went on to say something else, but Leela did not hear it. Feel safe, she allowed herself to lose consciousness again.

Chapter 10. Something ends, something begins.

Late in the morning on Wednesday Worlds delegation prepared to depart. This time there were no ceremonies, and after all the military boarded a ship at the launch site were only three. Standing at the steps of Red Kel-Avin on the one hand, Fry and Leela on the other. Lovers supported each other, the guy was too pale, and she could hardly stand on his feet from weakness, and her right hand was still bandaged. Orc was in his usual attire, humans dressed in civilian - no need to disguise and diplomatic games. In addition, both Fry and Leela are in sunglasses.

In the hospital, the girl almost immediately told about what happened after her shots, and loss of consciousness. It turns out that short conversation she did not catch a glimpse of Fry really, barely able to move, as immediately rushed to her. Then he raised his arms and carried more than two kilometers to the village of mutants and expanded orc's hospital. Where the treacherously slippery tube where the knee in the "water", despite the fact that the guy just walked away from the paralysis, and it, in addition, it weighs more. To a direct question, he just shrugged and said, "I could not do otherwise." Before he could just in time for quite some time on the floor, and she would not have waited until dawn, having died from hypothermia and blood loss. However, Fry this roll was not easy too. Having passed her doctors and calmly explaining the nature of injuries, he threw himself collapsed. Stop breathing, irregular heartbeating, clinical death - fatigue is not superimposed on the past effects of stroke.
Fortunately, the doctors were there and had to help.

To escape from the hospital, owned Embassy Worlds for this meeting has been very difficult. Fortunately, the hospital staff consisted entirely of civilian humans, and rumors that the girl fioletovovolosaya short work of Deputy Commander (orc!) melee alone, spread almost instantly. All two days most of the doctors and nurses tried not to appear next to the Chamber and the sight of Leela, would cross the corridor. And really, all medical procedures were performed as carefully as if the patient is to cause the slightest inconvenience, and they will get fury, tore off the heads of all in a row. However, in this situation, and the positive side, when it refused to let Leela staff corny intimidated. She did it so well that it does not just let go, but at the same time and released, agreeing that the remaining procedure, it can come whenever she wants it. Fry, at first, too, wanted to keep under observation for a few more days. But one look and the question, well if they thought enough to staying between panic and
hysteria, doctors gave her a courier and kindly escorted to the exit. Leela could be heard, but it seems they barricaded the door with something heavy, it was worth it to go away for a couple of steps.

But Bender was not with them. The robot was still in the shop, repair and continued completely finished yet soon. Since the body was no special problems, but after all the damage it was easier to recover again (of course, without the all combat versions) than collecting old. There were difficulties with the head. The thread was literally a couple of centimeters below the processor and memory storage, without hitting them, but stay thin sensitive circuits in the toxic swill benefit them just did not get. Fry then brought along the upper part of the head, securing strap a rifle on his shoulder. Technicians managed to prevent irreversible changes, but for the safety of the entire memory robot they fought so far. Now, however, it was a matter of time, a positive outcome was no longer any doubt.

- Do you follow the latest news? - Orc started talking first. After they shook their heads, he continued, for all channel talk about what happened. Now it looks as follows: rally from the thread, the deputy army commander Mir took office and for some reason gave the order to storm the city of mutants. However, by good fortune, his plan became known, and our army with the support of the local police conducted a special operation. RDG "Stiletto" is illegal, most of the men of Detachment destroyed after refusing to surrender. The commander was killed in an attack on a civilian, the limits of permissible self-defense were not violated. Thus, all of the arrows transferred to Cher, with which we can not ask. Crazy, PTSD***, fatigue, stress, and so on ...

- But you know that it is not? - Asked morosely Leela.

- Of course. This is the official version. Only now, I'm afraid it will remain the only one. Because no evidence that Stott was acting on orders, no.

- How's that? He's dead, but there remains a lot of evidence and witnesses! - Do not believe Fry.

- Only at first glance. On the call of the administration except the Sher knew two. One is officially dead, the second reading can not be evidence. Given the nature of the damage, memory Bender could suffer, she has suffered to some extent, therefore, can not be presented in court. No one else knew. As for the revelations of the captain, Bender is no faith, as I have said, and both of you are interested in a particular outcome. In your words, the prosecution can not be built.

- And that, now follow the traditional finale special operations? We will clean quietly as witnesses? - The girl said softly.

- No. I looked before flying to your president, and we talked to him face to face. Among other pleasantries, I told him very politely hinted that if any of you three something happens, Nixon also waiting ... accident. I do not remember exactly what he said, there is something about a boiler and the bank's head, but he was impressed and expressed full agreement with my opinion. Your ruler - a coward, and in this case it's good. He too cherishes his uh-uh ... neck to take the risk.

- And Bender? - Said Fry.

- Yeah, what about him? Part in the operation and other activities squad - no joke.

- He was never there. Is not listed in the database. Was not on the night of the twenty-seventh to the 28th in the sewers.

- But the remaining pieces of the body, they were taken as material evidence. - Disagree Leela.

- The body belongs to quite another robot. To it also includes all the records in the database. You know, we recently hired a specialist. Among other things, he was glad to be of service to Bender. And he knows very well the storage device the FBI, as well as their computer networks.

- So, now you have it? - She asked.

- Yes. We believe that it can teach us a lot. In every sense.

- The main thing is not to give him ... the wrong orders. - Advised Fry.

- Yes, I understand what it is fraught. Our relationship is built on trust. He explained his position on the issue of subordination, and I agreed with him. I hope that the mutually beneficial cooperation will last as long as possible.

They were silent. So passed around half a minute. Then the orchestra made a couple of steps forward and said:

- Well, I guess it's time to say goodbye. Forgive me for everything. It was an honor to meet you. Goodbye. It seems that you have taken such a gesture ... - he held his hand for a handshake.

No retaliatory moves followed. Fry folded his arms, Leela has got her back. Earthlings continue to stare at him. Kras suddenly thought that not only the bright sun was the reason that people were in opaque glasses. Maybe they just do not like to see their eyes orc. After everything that happened, they needed was to blame. Cher died quickly in combat, stupid hate someone who's dead. Nixon was out of reach, any realistic chance to call him to account no. Feeling helpless forced to seek the one who can be blamed for what happened, and that, fortunately, did not happen. So their eyes turned to the Chief. Blame it was difficult to underestimate, as Stott could carry out its policies thanks to the connivance of the prince, who preferred not to understand the causes of military success advisor. Although he was clearly unaware that he acts in violation of the honor code and the adopted rules. Of course, blaming the Beauty of all sins was impossible, but people could not contain the emotions were too fresh memories
of the experience, and all too easy to imagine all the events that have been prevented. They are struggling to control himself, but the feelings were stronger than logic.

Awkward silence dragged on, finally, after a few seconds Kras took his hand, sighed, and said:

- I know ... I will not deny that the fault of the accident. It was my subordinate, my advisor. I could say in his defense that he had lied to me, and the orcs did not know before lying on the tribesmen. He did not tell me the truth, hide the facts and present all in a different light. But I understand that all this does not justify me, and only adds to the guilt.

- Cher put it a little differently. He said: "Prince loves too easy victory." - Tough said Leela.

Commander face contorted, and he hunched over, as from a blow in the stomach. After standing for a few seconds, he said, without looking up:

- Brutal ... But I deserved it. I guess I like a lost honor officer should go and shoot. However, we have forbidden suicide, but there is such a tradition was clad with shame soldier sent to the front, in the thick of the fight to wash away the shame with blood, and his enemies. I know that endlessly before you blame. Because I made the decision. We now start and head to the nearest boundary of the WCT, where the war. Then engage in battle or on the letter without departing from the Code. We'll be back in half a year ... I hope that when I draw near to a little bit of redemption and the return of their honor. Maybe I can look up from the ground. And I would like to believe that if you have at least let me see your eyes. Now I do not deserve it. And now, good-bye! We're going to war!

Without looking up, the Prince turned on the spot and began to climb the ladder. Earthlings retreated to a safe distance, almost to the entrance to the space center and from there watched the spaceship lifted off the ground and quickly disappears into the cloudless sky. Today turned out to be really bright day, the sun shone out of his way, the sky was a rich blue color. Last day of September, soon all tightened low gray clouds.

Fry and Leela slowly left the tarmac and walked away from the launch site. Courier took off his glasses, hooked the collar shirts, their captain left in place. The sight of them was a bit unusual - a broad plate of solid dark purple glass, under which it was almost impossible to discern not only the expression of the eyes, but also their number. They were not a gift, but she bought them on the advice of Fry, who said that "they are very you, especially the color." The fact that the glasses hide his eyes, he was the last time tactfully silent.

- Wow, it's almost noon. - Fry looked at the clock. - And we are going to visit Bender. That we go to it?

- Yes. Go on foot? - Explained Leela. - I need to recover, and the weather today wonderful.

- Of course, everything is as you say.

They walked in silence, and, as a slightly greater distance from each other, just holding hands.

- And that's how it all ends? - Leela spoke first. - False official version, which all believe. Nixon will come out unscathed. Most robots destroyed, the rest probably erase personality. These excuses and ridiculous attempt to make amends. We almost died, in general, it is a miracle that we managed to avoid casualties.

- Life is made up of accidents. We were lucky and ended well. And one unlucky Nixon, and he will get his due. Certainly. - Confidently said Fry.

- I would like to believe ...

- Leela's the matter? What's wrong with you? - He looked at her anxiously. In the glasses reflected his excited face.

- Fry, tell me ... Be honest ... Do you think I'm a monster?

- Lord, I've told you a hundred times, it does not matter, on the contrary ...

- I'm not about appearance. I'm talking about my actions and my shame. Then, that night ... You're all well heard. You heard how I set you at risk. You heard how I broke my word. I think you've even heard that Cher told me. I'm now the same as it is that by killing him, I took over ...

- Leela, listen ... - he carefully took off her glasses, caught the eye. - I did not think of anything to blame. You saved me. I would rather that you saved yourself. But you have to do the impossible, and almost died to save us all. So forget about it. As for your action, then there is not so easy to say ... I know how much it means to you. But did you do to save us all.

- Do you know what an honor to sacrifice to save his life - is an indelible disgrace? Dishonor, of which never get off.

- And if you save someone else's life, the lives of their loved ones? What then?

- I do not know ... But anyway, I am now no better Stott.

- You did so for the sake of others ...

- He created all this for the sake of his people. Noble goal, no matter how look. So what's the difference?

- I can not say for sure, but I feel that you are not right ... - Fry paused. - Hey, can the matter of responsibility? He is there much that naplel that he was here, however, and there is nothing. All does anyone else. And you - an entirely different matter. Leela, you know, it was just your thing. And that you for a tormented conscience and guilt. You're not like him.

- Perhaps ...

- In general, I think you did everything right. But if you want to believe in something that you went against the honor - so be it. Then for you the most important thing - to stop, to take the first and last step on this path.

- Yes. You're right. The main thing, in any case not to repeat this ... but I still tormented guilt ... After things went that way just because of me. I do not kill him, we would have a witness evidence. And so, all ended ingloriously. Just because I could not hold back his feelings, it ended that way. This story, I think I made my lesson. - She sighed. - I'm never going to do irreparable acts.

- And here's one I would like to move irreversibly commit right now ... - Fry said, stopping.

They walked through the park and now stood in one of the alleys. Trees, shrubs, fallen leaves on the ground - everything was different shades of orange and red. "All shades of red color" - thought Leela, also stopping. Fry looked very good against this background. He obviously chose this place for something important.

- You know, there, in the cave, I was very afraid. Not for you, I knew you could do it. Not even for their lives. I was afraid I was going to die and did not have time to tell you something important. A few words ... that I was afraid to say earlier ...

- But ... we've already talked about this? - Leela knew immediately that he had in mind. - Recently ... These two weeks ... all so clear ...

- No. This is all the tricks. And playing with words. - He said firmly. - Maybe it's silly, but I feel that I must give all their names. And to tell you what I think. Just realized that it's so easy ... Leela, I love you. I hope you will answer as honestly?

- Of course. I too was afraid and did not want to say it right ... But now, there is no need to cheat. I love you too.

They stood like that for a long time, just looking at each other and said nothing. The key word is spoken, and the need for other was not. It is not known how much this moment lasted, but all come to an end. Capful of wind went through crowns, patches of light and shadow slid across the face, breaking the frozen moment and recalling that around the time moves on as before.

- Listen, we seem to be going somewhere? - Hesitantly asked Leela, back to reality.

- Yes, I remember something ... Similarly, Bender. We were quite close ... go?

- Let's go. Halfway back - a bad omen.

At the exit of the park Fry asked:

- Do you think, after all, when he wakes up ... Bender put up with our relationship?

- I do not know. I thought he did something to get it.

- Yes, since he stood side by side.

- In my opinion, he then got up on his side. - She corrected him.

- What do you mean?

- I wanted to decide for itself. Without our teachings. Do not, as we want, but as soon as he wants himself. Something like that, I think. That he can make peace with your friends, and can send out. But with his friends, he will understand himself, without the others' advice.

- Do you think the whole thing was just that?

- Who knows ... maybe not. Do not ask Bender - just close and hide. Will give out something like, "I still have you had for $ 200."

- Right. - Fry nodded. - But be that as it may, he is alive and he is our friend. Everything else can be solved. However, I would like very much that he had to realize that the love and friendship in the first place, different things, and secondly - they can be combined. But, now we're all sorted out and we can call a spade a spade, no tricks. Love is love, friendship is friendship. I hope now he will understand.

- I do not ask, do not know. Well, here we are.

After another quarter of an hour wandering the corridors pair got to the door of the box, where there was a recovery of Bender. Inside them is not allowed, because Fry and Leela went to the window at the end. Over here no one. In falling through the glass of the bright light spinning dust, smelling faintly of machine oil.

- Yes, you heard it for the first time it will include the evening. Even after more than four hours.

- What can you do. Oh, those reinsurers me ... On the other hand, will be the time to solve one small question.

- What?

- Who will go to him. Only you, the harsh man talk in private and not for women's ears. Or, let's go together, let not cheat and get used to it. In your opinion, what to choose?

- Hell, I do not know. Both options are interesting. Maybe we will cast a coin?

- Red, you know, for me, it ends badly.

- Then, lend a coin, my dear, and I will throw it himself.

- Well, why not? Um, by the way, wanted to ask you ... Do you remember when I called, there, in the cave, when carried in your arms?

- I showered so much fear ... But yes, I remember. Violet. You are attending. Hair color, eye color, in my opinion, it is difficult to come up with something a little more successful. Do not you like it?

- Why you liked it, you can call me that. I'm just surprised. It was all so sudden, new experiences, and a new name had to be the way ...

- I do not quite understand ...

- Well, I have no one and never in my life did not carry arms. Maybe in early childhood, but I do not remember. Because I did not immediately understand what happens, and then could not understand how I feel at the same time.

- Yeah, so what? - He asked excitedly.

- I liked it. Very. If you ever happen again, I'll be grateful. I've never felt so safe ...

- Well, as soon as I come a little to himself,'ll training in the triple volume. If I knew ... I was afraid that you wake up, and you will feel insulted.

- Really? Ha, of course not. How much we have for each other do not know ...

- Yes, you're right there. But before you begin again to deal with the problems, we have four hours. Enough to know each other better, right?

- Yeah, come on!

_____________________________ ______

* - Not name "Red", It is an Fry's alias, because he has red-colored hairs.
** - Same, but for Leela.
*** - PTSD "PostTraumatic SynDrome"
_____________________________ ______

[Reply #5 on:]

THE END



This fiction is inspired by Futurama S02E20, S04E08, S06E01-S06E25 episodes.
Also it contains persons from "Deus Ex" PC Game (thanks to Warren Spector and all Ion Storm Austin Game Developing Team for BEST OF THE BEST game ever!).
UNATCO, JC Denton, Paul Denton - is copyrighted by Ion Storm Austin and Eidos Internactive.

Fiction contains text from songs:
Linkin Park “Breaking the habit”
Elton John “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”
Vladimir Visotskiy "Stars".

[Reply #6 on:]

And I'm guessing that the above drawing is the work of Coldy?

[Reply #7 on:]

Did you ask Coldy if you could use his art?

Also 'PostTraumatic SynDrome' is not making any sense, did you mean "Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?"

And the structure is really hard to read because you used hyphens instead of talking marks. Also, did you just post the whole story? I know as a fanfic writer/reader, most people like to read the longer stories one chapter at a time, not the whole lot.

I doubt many people will read it - I didn't read all of it. I made an attempt to read the first chapter to try and give you feedback about the story rather than just picking up on obvious art-stealing, but I couldn't cope with the readinf because it's obviously translated through google and therefore a bit of a brain strain to make sense of the disjointed sentences and therefore it's too much effort to read.

I suggest not using google - find someone that knows both languages and can translate it

[Reply #8 on:]

This picture was situated on this server in 2010 under General Public License. As one of site owners I use this picture by GPL license. If Coldy don't want I use this picture, he may mail me and I delete this picture from this fiction and from futurama.su website.

PTSD - is Google translate of russian phrase "посттравматический синдром", how it's must be in English I don't know.

Also, did you just post the whole story? I know as a fanfic writer/reader, most people like to read the longer stories one chapter at a time, not the whole lot.

I'll remember that. I didn't find anybody who can help translate this correctly in non-commercial. So all I had to do it translate fiction in Google translator and verify it as far as possible with RUS-ENG dictionary.

So please forgive me and don't punish me much.

[Reply #9 on:]

I'm sorry, but that's a real strain to read. Not your fault, it's the translation. You should find a few more Russian Futurama fans - I know there are a few - and see what they think about your work in the original language.

[Reply #10 on:]

Hi, eyeball. Today I started reading your good fiction, nice work but I had a trouble with some words. I know English a hard language (but not so hard as Russian as I know about it). So can you specially translate those words, pls? For example what mean:

beskhrebetnik, Pripechataet, othodchivy, nudyatinu, Labuda, nedopoya, zaoziralsya, zloboglazkoy.

Also I didn’t understand why Fry fall asleep before box. I don’t remember any box in his room. Or why he raises forever from floor? But I hope after your explanations this work become clearer. As it deserve I think.

[Reply #11 on:]

beskhrebetnik --- "the faint of heart"
Pripechataet --- "beat"
othodchivy --- "appeasable (easygoing)"
nudyatinu --- "delusion (ravings)"
Labuda --- "nonsense (crap, bullshit)"
nedopoya --- "insufficiently hangover"
zaoziralsya --- "looking around in panic"
zloboglazkoy --- verbatim: "evil eyed woman" (woman == Leela)

[Reply #12 on:]

eyeball
Thank you. But I not want disturn you for such petty issues again and again. Please, can you give me and other readers link to dictionary with those difficult russian words?

[Reply #13 on:]

FrozenHeart Here: http://www.lingvo.ru/english_professional/

[Reply #14 on:]

Nice to meet you, Guard. Few years ago I read some of your stories with online-translator and I think, it was a good fics, with many jokes, refs, with action and sometimes with drama and such stuff. I'm sorry for stupid question, but and now and years ago I coldn't understand some of your jokes. Do you agree help me with those episodes? Such a "for the health meklontsev" - what is it, some reference from sci-fi or specifical russian joke.

ps. I'm sorry, if its will be rude, and I know Russian very poorly but years ago when I read this story my translator showed me "beskhrebetnik" as "spineless".

pss. Uh and I hope you will be translate other your works. My favorite that one about killer-girl, Fry and Leela's stepdaughter. Sorry, I don't remember her name. This story also has a very good illustrations.

[Reply #15 on:]

"for the health meklontsev"

Where is it? May be I'd mean "omicrontsev" - omicrons.

"beskhrebetnik" as "spineless"

This is verbatim translation. It fiction I'd mean "the faint of heart" or "heartless"

[Reply #16 on:]

Where is it?

This from scene where JC and Bender got drunk. I know, who is T-800 and C3PO but not that word.

May be I'd mean "omicrontsev" - omicrons.

Yeah may be. But why cyborg and robot were so respectful fo them? It's race a other bunch of meatbags, not godlike mechanisms, he-he.

ps. And also what about other works? At last about sequel of this story?

[Reply #17 on:]

Uh and I hope you will be translate other your works. My favorite that one about killer-girl, Fry and Leela's stepdaughter. Sorry, I don't remember her name. This story also has a very good illustrations.

Are you about trilogy? Leela and her sister Vetala? I don't want translate it. I can, but it will be machinery-translated (Google or ABBYY Lingvo). So, if you help me translate it correctly, I shall start translating.

Yeah may be. But why cyborg and robot were so respectful fo them? It's race a other bunch of meatbags, not godlike mechanisms, he-he.

They drunk

And also what about other works? At last about sequel of this story?

If you help me, I'll do.
BTW, I working on PC game, based on Trilogy storyline. So I need voice actors and good C++ programmers.

[Reply #18 on:]

Thank you for dictionary. Though some of your words it translates with troubles, for example I can't find in it meaning of zloboglazkoy and othodchivy.

By the way, your original characters have a really cool name. A you borrow that from somewhere or just make by himself? "Cher Stott" sounds impressive, like Awesome McCoolname.

[Reply #19 on:]

They drunk smile

Yeah alcohol is a very evil thing.

Are you about trilogy?

Nope, I am talk about that story, crossover with japanese anime. Something about Rick in title. Very sorry, it's for a long time... Those and that fic seems like a parts of one timeline - about Fry and Leela family and othe stuff.

BTW, I working on PC game, based on Trilogy storyline

Please correct me if I am wrong, but that story from another author, aren't they? Some guy with very weird nickname. Or you two will cooperate for this game?

[Reply #20 on:]

Are you about trilogy?

Nope, I am talk about that story, crossover with japanese anime. Something about Rick in title. Very sorry, it's for a long time... Those and that fic seems like a parts of one timeline - about Fry and Leela family and othe stuff.

BTW, I working on PC game, based on Trilogy storyline

Please correct me if I am wrong, but that story from another author, aren't they? Some guy with very weird nickname. Or you two will cooperate for this game?

Strange, I didn't write something japanese. May be it was another author.

Game will based on Trilogy (Reflection in distortion mirror, Unnatural selection, Native blood). Game story begins when Leela died in third part of fiction (she didn't die really, of course). Gameplay will such as in the Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy), gamer will play by Leela, Fry, Bender, agent Denton, Walton Simons, Professor Farnsworth etc. Game will be based on Thief III Engine with Havok Physical Engine (of course, user must have 2 cores or highter cpu, and geforce fx or highter videocard)

[Reply #21 on:]

Strange, I didn't write something japanese. May be it was another author.

I'm not sure either, but I'm talked about this particular fic of yours:

http://www.futurama.su/fan-fiction-read.php?id=21

It looks kinda japanese. A you agree with me?

ps. About game... Ypu have a great idea. So sad, but I.m not programmer aind can't join to yor team.

[Reply #22 on:]

[/quote]

Strange, I didn't write something japanese. May be it was another author.

I'm not sure either, but I'm talked about this particular fic of yours:

http://www.futurama.su/fan-fiction-read.php?id=21

Uh, it is not my fiction. Created by Leena, I just posted it.

It looks kinda japanese. A you agree with me?

Well, big eye, small nose... Yeah, you r right, definitely japanese!

About game... Ypu have a great idea. So sad, but I.m not programmer aind can't join to yor team.

We need voice actors also.

[Reply #23 on:]

eyeball
Oh, man, it was a very good conversation, but I'm already bored. Your delusion is a really interest but you didn't prepare properly. I’m sure, Leena was registered in community in 2011, but Wonted risk was published in October of 2009. And I'm not talk about other Inf_guard's Futurama/anime crossovers. You don't bother yourself with details - who wrote which fics and didn't know source of elementary jokes from those stories.

And also I'm pretty sure that Inf_guard keep use his old nickname in Net and not gonna change it to "eyeball". Because I’m is  Inf_guard. And if you at first asked permission or just translated story properly, without online-translator, I'm really respect your effort. But with those methods it’s pitiful...

Слабая попытка, юноша, не пойму, на что вы рассчитывали?

[Reply #24 on:]

It’s time for another greeting. Actually I’m HAEMHIK. Yeah, that old fan, who wrote fanfics in 2008. Can you imagine my surprise when I met certain ex-Inf_guard, whom I know really good and who never plan to change nickname and also never will plan translate his fics with Google. Naturally, I talked with him and convinced that he never did it. I was wants just hint little thief about his deeds, but him start appropriate himself all works, which he knew.

eyeball – a impudent little plagiarist and deserve punishments. All proofs in this thread. In archive of our forum, «Independent forum of Simspons and Futurama» we have a story of creation all those works with editing and dates. And no one eyeball. I ask Administration note this fact of plagiary. When certain man not only published stolen works, but also proclaim himself a “author” – it’s not good for reputation of forum.

[Reply #25 on:]

Moderators!!! Bring justice!!!

[Reply #26 on:]

eyeball, я не понимаю, чего Вы добиваетесь, размещая здесь криво переведенные гуглом тексты, которые были писаны не Вами. Я читатель ресурса "Вся моя Футурама" уже более двух лет и я точно уверен, что товарищ Inf_guard не стал бы менять свой никнейм, потому как под своим никнеймом он успешно общается на независимом форуме по Симпсонам и Футураме. Поэтому советую вам, уважаемый, публично извиниться перед авторами текста, а также перед, обманутыми Вами, посетителями и участниками форума P.E.E.L.

[Reply #27 on:]

This is amazing

[Reply #28 on:]

 x.Bianca.x, this wierdy man also post Inf_guard's and HAEMHIK's fan fictions at FFF, he used another nickname, but if you will see translation - it is same as there. I know him, he did this things in my Futurama VK group (Russian social network, such as Facebook).

[Reply #29 on:]

 MissFuturama,  quasarbsd
Thanks you for approval.  Also,  quasarbsd, pls, give me a link to other his publications of my story (or even ours storyes).

And, Moderators, what about  Eyeball? It's not good for my name, when some man brings a very lousy translation of rather old story  and cover himself as "ex-Inf_guard".

[Reply #30 on:]

...pls, give me a link to other his publications of my story (or even ours storyes).

Here you go.

It's not good for my name, when some man brings a very lousy translation of rather old story  and cover himself as "ex-Inf_guard".

It seems moderators don't care about that, because you solved a problem on your own. Nice job .

[Reply #31 on:]

Just Fan was first.

...pls, give me a link to other his publications of my story (or even ours storyes).

Here you go.

Damn, He edited his posts. Look at the date, it is a date after Wild_Cat and FrozenHeart convicted Eyeball.

[Reply #32 on:]

Try Google cache...

I choose a role

Author: daedalus (ex. INF_GUARD)

[Reply #33 on:]

This thread gives my eyes diabetes.

[Reply #34 on:]

Yep, someone delete it please .

[Reply #35 on:]

Hey, FrozenHeart. This is yours (if you really HAEMHIK from allsimpsons.ru) fictions too:
http://www.futuramaff.com/showthread.php?t=14883
(отражение в кривом зеркале)
http://www.futuramaff.com/showthread.php?t=14885
(неестественный отбор)
http://www.futuramaff.com/showthread.php?t=14892
(родная кровь)

*ARUUU* (C) Nixon's head

[Reply #36 on:]

 Wild_Cat,  FrozenHeart,  quasarbsd, you pathetic trolls who can not argue their words, I'm Inf_guard!!!

[Reply #37 on:]

Wild_Cat,  FrozenHeart,  quasarbsd, you pathetic trolls who can not argue their words, I'm Inf_guard!!!

Nice try, pal. But I know real Inf_guard, and I know he didn't change his username. So get out from PEEL.

[Reply #38 on:]

Wild_Cat,  FrozenHeart,  quasarbsd, you pathetic trolls who can not argue their words, I'm Inf_guard!!!

You're no more than a stealing loser. It was proven in this thread. Do yourself a favor - just get lost.

[Reply #39 on:]

http://www.allsimpsons.ru

Hmm, looks like an interesting board. Pity I don't have a clue how to read the language.