AstroZombie
Bending Unit
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« on: 03-10-2002 10:14 »
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Mwahahahahaha! My plans are now in motion! First FSAC has fallen to the scurge that is AstroZombie! The fool's have made me webmaster in charge of fan fiction. So my first task it to announce the release of a new fic on FSAC It's by myself and Paul and is called Mind's Apart. Click the link below to go straight to it. http://www.scanartcentral.com/fanfics/az_pm_ma_1.shtml Post here and let me know what you think.
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Allen
Professor
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That was pretty good, finish it please. I do have one complaint though, it seemed to get confusing at certain parts.
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #5 on: 03-10-2002 15:32 »
« Last Edit on: 03-10-2002 15:32 »
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Heh heh, "...you thundering moron..." I thought I was the only person who used 'thunder' to describe size, amplitude, or intensity. You are now entering my Opinion-Nation. Please note that the leader is not a professional literary critic. A few questions/comments in the form of rhetorical questions: - What is the meaning of, "Fry’s eye’s where shut tight, a mask of pain in his face"? If this means what I think it means, then you should probably run it by your proofreader again.
- "...his nose felt lower down than it usually did." Oh come on, how can you feel the structure of your face?
- Zoidberg's written accent is hard to decipher. It's a personal preference, but I tend to attach character voices to lines in my head.
- Too many references to specific instances in previous episodes make it seem less like straight-up dramatic-drama more like soap opera-drama.
- The story itself is good, but it reads like it should be a script instead of a narrative.
I had to quit reading (due to a cheese overdose) about the time... Fry visits Leela's prom night ...so I'd appreciate it if someone tells me if there's a strong finish.
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AstroZombie
Bending Unit
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« Reply #6 on: 03-10-2002 15:50 »
« Last Edit on: 03-10-2002 15:50 »
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Allen - In reference to your statement that it was confusing at times. Yes I will admit that it can be, You should have tried writing the damn thing, my brain still hurts from keeping track of who was who . No on to DR Thunder I'll take your comments on board, I'm not quite sure what they mean but I'll pass them along to someone with some literary talent for deciphering (I mean come on I got D for english at school and my favorite word seems to be FUCK!, I'm lucky i can string a sentance together). As far as the prom night thing goes its one of the few episodes from her past that have been mentioned in the show and hence know anything about, but since your complaining about the cheese factor I'll make up some non cheesy stuff. Hmmmm a lesbian orgy at her college co-ed dorm sounds about right. Kennedy - YES I AM MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! And to the rest - Yes it will be finished though hope fully it wont take as long.
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]PaulFSAC[
Professor
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« Reply #7 on: 03-10-2002 16:04 »
« Last Edit on: 03-10-2002 16:04 »
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Originally posted by DrThunder88: Heh heh, "...you thundering moron..." I thought I was the only person who used 'thunder' to describe size, amplitude, or intensity.
You are now entering my Opinion-Nation. Please note that the leader is not a professional literary critic. A few questions/comments in the form of rhetorical questions:
- What is the meaning of, "Fry’s eye’s where shut tight, a mask of pain in his face"? If this means what I think it means, then you should probably run it by your proofreader again.
- "...his nose felt lower down than it usually did." Oh come on, how can you feel the structure of your face?
- Zoidberg's written accent is hard to decipher. It's a personal preference, but I tend to attach character voices to lines in my head.
- Too many references to specific instances in previous episodes make it seem less like straight-up dramatic-drama more like soap opera-drama.
- The story itself is good, but it reads like it should be a script instead of a narrative.
I had to quit reading (due to a cheese overdose) about the time...Fry visits Leela's prom night ...so I'd appreciate it if someone tells me if there's a strong finish. hmm, I guess someone doesn't appreciate the time and effort two people put into this fic, it was as confusing as hell writing it, let alone proof reading it. I guess this is a typical DR. Blunder (oops Thunder) response to anyone's fic other than his own (has he written one?). Yeah, Part 2 will be written (this may entice the good(?) doctor to read the entire thing then ), hopefully in a lot less time that part one took. ------------------ Click me!
The Unofficial Supreme Avatar God and Siggy Block King.
Co-Founder of Cartoons-R-Us.
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Allen
Professor
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Originally posted by ]PaulFSAC[: (has he written one?).
Yes, but I haven't read it yet. I do appreciate the time and effort. When I did the same concept in IM II I just said they had switched bodies and from that point on referred to them as who they are, not the body. Ex. Instead of Fry/Leela, try just Fry. It's understood they've switched, you don't need to remind us everytime they speak. That's how it gets confusing. It's still good, I just thought I'd give some advice.
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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Originally posted by ]PaulFSAC[, rebuttals by DrThunder88:hmm, I guess someone doesn't appreciate the time and effort two people put into this fic, it was as confusing as hell writing it, let alone proof reading it. I imagine that many people don't, but I think I relate pretty well to your situation. I worked for many weeks on my script. Half of that time I was creating the background information for two brand new elements of the Futurama Universe. I know how confusing it is to write the history of a fictional future. I know the problems faced when developing new characters, trying to understand why they "are who they are" and trying to predict how the individual will react to different situations. I appreciate your time and effort. If I didn't, I wouldn't even bother posting a review.I guess this is a typical DR. Blunder (oops Thunder) response to anyone's fic other than his own (has he written one?). Yes, "Curse of the One-Eyed Jacks". It was even longer than this and I added a few extra, multimedia tidbits. By one of my thunderous blunders, I did not deliver it in installments. It proved too wearisome for people to read in a single sitting. Let's face facts, it was my script, and I couldn't read it the whole way through.Yeah, Part 2 will be written (this may entice the good(?) doctor to read the entire thing then ), hopefully in a lot less time that part one took. I'll finish your story. I'll even do you one better, I won't tell you what I think of it (even if its ending is better than Heat). No, I'll do you two better. I'll post a rave review, regardless of my opinion.
If you feel like ripping into my fic you can probably dig it up by searching for "curse" in the fan art forum.
No hard feelings, right?
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DrThunder88
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #12 on: 03-11-2002 02:47 »
« Last Edit on: 03-11-2002 02:47 »
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Awesome! Great story! The dialogue is smooth and flawless. The plot is continuous with no gaping holes, and the characters are spot on. It's remarkably easy to read, but it still retains all the characteristics of a canonical think-piece. The writing is certainly not hackneyed, contrived, or unoriginal. I almost forgot: L-U-A-P-D-N-A-Y-D-N-A, S-R-O-H-T-U-A-E-H-T T-E-L-T-O-N-L-L-I-W, E-I-D-A-M-A-R-U-T-U-F You guys are too clever!
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Erdrik
Professor
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I liked it. Tho the 'Leela/Fry' thing to identify the two was a mistake. Didn't work out well.. I thought it was written well tho. And the characters seemed to hold true to themselves(something you rarly see in a fanfic.). Although Fry was a little too restraint about being in Leela's body.(I pretty sure Fry would have done... something ...) Overall its good. actualy the best Futurama fanfic Ive read so far. Im big on the whole: 'characters seemed to hold true to themselves' thing
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]PaulFSAC[
Professor
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Originally posted by VelourFog: Why ask for feedback if all you want to hear is "good job!"? You can tell yourself that on your own. If you want to be judged on effort rather than actual quality then maybe you should also make that clear up front. I'll say now that I didn't read the fic and I probably won't, but here's a tip that can apply to most any writing; if it's confusing to write then it's probably going to be even more confusing to read.
I don't remember asking for feedback, personally, just defending the honour of a fic that took a fair old while to write, due to work and college commitments on both parties. But your point is taken.
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Tzlk
Professor
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DAMN YOU!! Now i wanna read the rest of it!!! it was really cool! Great story, good dialog and original ideas! NOW WRITE THE REST OF IT!!!
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]PaulFSAC[
Professor
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Re-opened as it was closed as well.
Venus and Tzlk, work is in progress.
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Tzlk
Professor
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Whoo Hoo Im looking forward to it.. Keep up the good work!
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Erdrik
Professor
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Hey! Gimmie back my Happy!!
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AstroZombie
Bending Unit
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Me too I cant wait to see what happens next... Wait I'm writing the damn thing, I KNOW what happens next. hehehehehe. Just wait till Fry/Leela meets the large breasted lesbian girls of tottie 4
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Erdrik
Professor
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Awww... I miss my happy...
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Erdrik
Professor
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« Reply #32 on: 03-25-2002 16:05 »
« Last Edit on: 03-25-2002 16:05 »
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Grumbling, grumbling, grumbling... IiIi'll get you !! And you little Happy toOoO!! Grumbling, grumbling
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Erdrik
Professor
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awww... /me reaches into back pocket and pulls out some more happy, breaks it in half and hands one half to Venus. I can share
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Tzlk
Professor
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what are you two talking about?!?!?
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Erdrik
Professor
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you sound like you need some happy! here have some HaAaApppYYYyyyy!! /me starts whipping Happy at Tzlk.
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]PaulFSAC[
Professor
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Hmm, I quite agree, shame threads degenerate like this, ah well, such is life -- Re-closing.
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