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Author Topic: Another fan-fic I'm working on(my first one)  (Read 2992 times)
Pages: 1 [2] 3 Print
x-number1fan-x

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #40 on: 11-08-2006 15:05 »
« Last Edit on: 11-08-2006 15:05 »

ooh, i like it

TOTPD
Writer unit32

Professor
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« Reply #41 on: 11-08-2006 15:58 »

Thanks,I'll try to post the next chapter tomorow
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #42 on: 11-10-2006 18:03 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

The solid emperor   chapter VI

Fry was sitting exosted on the floor.This place was worse that Osirus IV.Something made the Trisolians really nervous.He wondered if it had anything to do with the slave that was gonna rebel.If it was that slave was losing.They were in the same mines and Fry and Zoidberg didn’t hear a thing.that means they heard lots of things but,nothing that could show there was a rebellion.
Trisolian:’Hey you,stand up!Start working!’
Fry:’Ye sir!’
He walks off.
Fry: (thinking)’Theese guys are crazy!Can a man take a breather?’
Trisolian:’Hey why are you just walking here?’
Fry: (trying on a stupid wimpy smile that saved him five times)'No walking,working!(thinking)No he can’t…take a breather.’
He started walking away again.He stopped.It was this sound that made him think about rebellion again.He didn’t know why,he didn’t even recognize the sound.
Fry:’Hey Zoidberg!Do you hear anything?’
Zoidberg:’Nop”
Fry froze.He didn’t hear anything either.The weird sound wasn’t even a sound.The sounds that were showing that thye whole mines are working the last three hours weren’t there any more.There were some other sounds.It looked the rebellion really did start.

Leela was looking around.Nothing even looking like a fortress.
Leela:’Do you even know how to get to the fortress?’
Scruffy:’Scruffy were traveling in this universe for years,he knows some things about Trisol.’
Leela:’I doubt it’

Kif:’…But Amy’s in that jail…’
Zapp:’Ye,ye whatever you say…’
Kif:’But there’s no law about this.’
Zapp: (trying to find something)Yes there is.Branigan’s law!Nomber 2.
Kif:’But sir,there’s only one Branigan’s law!’
Zapp: (putting a piece of paper he just ripped out and starts writing)’Not any more’
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #43 on: 11-10-2006 20:55 »

Oooh, a slave revolt? That brings back memories of when I was in Egypt in 136 BC.
Good stuff!
Apple Tea

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #44 on: 11-10-2006 21:17 »

Bah! the best way to stop slave revolts is to cut off their arms.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #45 on: 11-10-2006 22:36 »

This, however, has the effect of minimizing their usefulness as slaves. I find it's better to perform a frontal lobotomy on them all and eliminate their capacity to think their way into a rebellious mindset.
Writer unit32

Professor
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« Reply #46 on: 11-11-2006 07:08 »
« Last Edit on: 11-12-2006 00:00 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by coldangel_1:
Oooh, a slave revolt? That brings back memories of when I was in Egypt in 136 BC.
Good stuff!

Hmmm weird,they tried to bury me in a pyramid with the pharaon in that year.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #47 on: 11-11-2006 07:11 »

They tried to what you with the what?
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #48 on: 11-18-2006 08:46 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

 Well I had a crappy week     :( but here's the next short update

The solid emperor  chapter VII

Leela already slept and woke up and they still were in a desert, lost on Trisol!She looked around.There was something looking like a village.And they were moving there.Yep,it’s a Trisolian village.Leela looked around.For some reason the Trisolians reacted really strange on Leela and Scruffy.They were pointing and whispering something.
Some Trisolian kid:’Look mom,it’s Scruffy’
The kid’s mom:’don’t point!Especially at him. ‘
Leela looked at them in shock.Since when was Scruffy famous?
Leela:’What yhe hell are they talking about?Or wait…Were you serious about trawelling throw the universe for years?
Scruffy:’Yeargh.twenty years ago Scruffy were known as Scruffy-Defender of the Universe.Scruffy were the Trisolian emperorr.Then some guy say he’s the son of the old Trisolian emperor and threw Scruffy in the mines.Scruffy and co rebelled then.Some of co stayed there.That includes a Australian man,(remember the slave from HHRHGB and APTE?)a Neptunian and Scruffy’s nephew.
Leela:’You have a nephiew?’
Scruffy:’Yearghg.Ya know, Scruffy cant come back on Trisol without Scruffy getting killed.Neither can Fry.That’s why they took walky-talkies’(pulls out walky-talky)
Leela:’Errr,who took walky-talkies?’
Scruffy:’Scruffy,Fry and Bender.(he pushed a button on the walky talky and started talking in it)Sus-scrub to Slurm addict,I repeat,Sus-scrub to Slurm addict.

The last hour all what Fry was doing was running.Running everywhere.He even ran out off the mines once.Right now he was running somewhere in the deeper part off the mines.He was about to turn to the right when he saw a Trisolian there.He turned back.The two Trisoliand that were chasing him were still there.Fry turned to the first Trisolian again.He took a deep breath and ran right throw the Trisolian avoiding his weapon.Whilehe was still rubbing the Trisolian liquid he ran into a gelatinious blob.Starting to rub out the liquids of the Trisolian and the gelatine he ran right into a wall.Now starting to rub out the liquid, gelatine and his own tears he fell into a small pit.He rubbed everything off his face.Nobody seemed to notice him.He heared some noice.The walky-talky he took!
Scruffy throw the walky-talky:’…I repeat,Sus-scrub to Slurm addict.
Fry in the walky-talky:’Cut the crap Scruffy.It looks like I’m in a neer-death situation…
--------------------------------------------
I think I made Scruffy too much a hero and too little Scruffy.But he's my third favourite character after Fry and the Robot Devil.Also I really like one of coldangel's pics Scruffy-Defender of the Universe.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #49 on: 11-18-2006 10:16 »

Scruffy's rollin' out the abovementioned picture now:


Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #50 on: 11-22-2006 12:07 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

Well finally,I got some time to do the next part.And don't be fullen by Leela's toughts,after the fic Fry and Leela wont be acouple but Iwould still try to add in some shippiness.

The Solid Emperor  chapter IIX

Fry throw walky-talky:’…Ok,what I just said was stupid,I know I’m in one…’
Leela: (grabing the walky-talky)’Gimme that!Fry are you alright?’
Fry throw walky-talky:‘What the?!...Leela?!Why…’
Leela:’Are you alright,damn it?!’
Fry throw walky-talky:’I’m fine,I’m fine.Err,Leela what happened?You never react like this.’
Leela:’Sure I do!’
Fry throw the walky-talky:’Errr,OK…I wonder where could the Trisolians find lasers?
Leela:’Uhh,Fry,we delivered them.’
Fry throw walky-talky:’What?!Ahh,never mind.I guess I should crawl out now’
Leela:’Just be careful’
Fry throw walky talky:’I’m always careful…Ufff!Aw,that hurts even more now…Well as I said,I’m always careful!’
Leela sighed and put’ the walky-talky on her head so she wont need  to cary it in her arms.She still couldn’t believe that Scruffy was such a hero.She looked at him.He was already reading a ‘National Pornographic’ magazine.Leela started thinking about her reaction on hearing Fry’s voice.Why did she grab the walky-talky?It’s not like she started feeling something besides the usual feelings to him.Nothing changed after the opera…Did it?…
Scruffy:’Your turn!’
He gave her the paddle and sat down himself.Leela standed up and started paddling.

Leela throw walky-talky:’Just be careful’
Fry:’I’m always careful…Ufff!Aw,thay hurts even more now’
He put’ the walky talky on,standed up and looked what he ran into this time.
Fry:’Doctor Zoidberg!What are you doing here?!Errr,sorry,stupid question.’
Zoidberg:’I found a rat there!The second meal today!Then those guys came and started beating me up,but I ate the rat!’
Fry:’Lets just get out of here’

Amy was still sitting in The Nimbus’ jail.The bars went in the wall.Amy gasped.So Kif did get them out.
Amy:’Professor!’
Prof.:’Eh’whaaa?
Amy:’We can get out of here now!’
Prof.:’Out of where?’Where are we?’
Amy:’The Nimbus!’
Prof.:’You can get me on The Nimbus?!’
Amy:’We are there!’
Prof:’Ohhh.Aww,I thought it would look better.’
Amy:’that’s coz we’re in it’s jail?!’
Prof.:Jail?Oh my,we should get out of here.
Amy sighed.
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #51 on: 11-22-2006 15:09 »

Please people make atleast one comment,somebody,please!
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #52 on: 11-22-2006 15:32 »
« Last Edit on: 11-22-2006 15:32 »

wow thats really good but I was kind of confused by it
x-number1fan-x

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #53 on: 11-22-2006 15:37 »

heh! I already read it ages ago, but couln't be bothered to comment [sorry]
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #54 on: 11-22-2006 15:37 »
« Last Edit on: 11-22-2006 15:37 »

M_N,thanks...Wait,did you read it in the last five minutes after I gave that link?!

N1F,Ages?I only updated today...Your weird   :confused:    :hmpf:    ;)
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #55 on: 11-22-2006 15:40 »

wow there's a hot guy on the tv on the bill you lot should look I might do a cartoon pic of him
if I do i'll show n1f tommorrow at school haha
x-number1fan-x

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #56 on: 11-22-2006 15:43 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Writer unit32:
M_N,thanks...Wait,did you read it in the last five minutes after I gave that link?!

N1F,Ages?I only updated today...Your weird    :confused:     :hmpf:     ;)

hey! [heh  :laff:] Ages in Moi time is only a few hours! heh! 
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #57 on: 11-22-2006 15:47 »

nope sorry i only read the bit that you've updated i'm sorry i'll try and read it all but right now i'm on my myspace blogs I promise i'll try and read it.
Writer unit32

Professor
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« Reply #58 on: 11-22-2006 15:51 »

M_N dont spam in my thread,please and try not to make lots of typos.

PS,I'll try to update today!
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #59 on: 11-22-2006 16:01 »

I'm sorry and by the way how do you come up with those script kind of things as I want to try and write one.
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #60 on: 11-22-2006 16:05 »

I dont know...I read a lot of fan-fics then Igot the idea of a delivery on Trisol so I desided to try to write one.
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #61 on: 11-22-2006 16:06 »

ok thanks I think I might find it easy as a lot of things pop into my head when I'm just staring foward.
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #62 on: 11-22-2006 16:09 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

A short one,but I have beaten my record which I didn't have before this.This part's called 'The One With The Turn Of The Tables'

The Solid Emperor   chapter IX

Leela was sitting again.Scruffy said there was a secret passage somewhere here.She wondered about the others.Amy and Bender probably already found a suicide booth.Fry was still alive,she was talking with him and he said he found Zoidberg.She wondered what’ll happen if Fry’l die?...
Scruffy:’Found it!
They were in some sort of a tunnel.Leela looked around.It looked quickly made.
Scruffy:’Rebelled guys built it’
Leela:’Oh’
The tunnel ended.Leela saw a battle scene.She cowered her eyes.She was used to fair fights,not people and aliens just getting killed.
Scruffy:’Hello,still here?’
Leela:’Ye…Fry!’
Scruffy:’So the view made you mad.This is Scruffy,remember?’
Leela:’I know it is,but I just saw Fry!’
Scruffy threw the paddle and ran after Leela.They didn’t notice that a certain red haired human and a decapodian were running in the opposite direction.

Fry and Zoidberg were running throw the mines.They  jumped on a hover dolly,Zoidberg grabbed the paddle and broke off the end with his claws,Fry grabbed what’s left off it and started paddling.The got in some sort of a tunnel.Fry looked around.It looked quickly made.Finally they got out of the mines back in day light.
Fry:’So,errr…Which direction is the ship?’

Amy,the professor and Bender were running throw The Nimbus(Farnsworth needed some help).Finally they saw Kif running in theyr direction.
Amy:’Kif!Oh it’s so great you let’ us out!’
Kif:’Did you think I would let my beloved Amy stay in The Nimbus’ jail?
Amy:’Aww,thanks Kif!Now,how do we get out of here?’
Kif:’Throw the escape ships of course!’
They walked into a ‘garage’ with lots of small space ships.They got into one.
Kif:’To Earth?’
Amy:’Nop,to Trisol’
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #63 on: 11-22-2006 16:19 »

that's really fast to think of two things in short time.
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #64 on: 11-22-2006 16:51 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

Woooo!Three updates in a row,one day!Go writer,go writer,go writer!

The Solid Emperor   chapter X

Fry and Zoidberg were sitting next to the passage.So were a Neptunian,a Hovering Squid and the slave that told Fry about the rebellion.The rain ended long ago and it was really hot again.Fry looked in the sky.He knew the chance that someone would save him was as small as Bender coming back when Fry shooted him out as a torpido.He saw something like a ship.He looked again.Yup it was a ship.It landed not too far away from them.They came close to it.
Bender: (running out off the ship)’Wiggles!’
Fry:’What the!...Bender!’
Amy: (walking out too)C’mobn,get in here!
Fry,Zoidberg and the other slaves got in the ship.Kif took of.Bender gave them all a bottle of beer.
Bender:’To Wiggles!’
Fry:’I wish Scruffy was here…’
Amy:’Oh no,Scruffy!’
Bender:’Dear Metal Lord,we forgot Scruffy!’
Kif:’We need to come back for Scruffy and Leela!’
Farnsworth: (snores)
Fry:’Errr,isn’t Leela what we should be worried about?’
Everybody mumble objecting.Fry sighed(now that is something you don’t see everyday)
Fry:’Lets just come back for Scruffy’

Leela and Scruffy were in the same pit where Fry was
Leela:’I wish Fry hadn’t delivered those lasers!’

The PE crew and the slaves were standing before the passage.Everybody knew that they might not come out.
Prof.:’So who’ll go?’
Pause.
Fry:’Me’
Amy:’Me’
Pause.
Bender:’Me’
Rebellion obsessed slave:’Me!’
Everybody stared at him.
Slave:’I haven’t started  this rebellion just to run away.”
Fry:’OK,lets go’
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #65 on: 11-22-2006 17:04 »

how many posts do I need to do now to get up to the next level because I've been posting all night to get up to the next level and it just will not work.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #66 on: 11-22-2006 19:36 »

emo_cowgurl (monkey_nibble), posting meaningless crap just to get to a higher level is rude and it's against the rules - you're flooding the place with your off-topic and poorly-spelled spam. Also, you were banned for a reason. Please go away.
Writer unit32

Professor
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« Reply #67 on: 11-23-2006 02:53 »
« Last Edit on: 11-23-2006 02:53 »

Ye get lost M_N(or E_C!)I introduced,I helped,I forgot,end of story!So how did all you happy people like the fic?
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #68 on: 11-23-2006 06:52 »

'Twas great. A masterpiece.
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #69 on: 11-23-2006 14:48 »
« Last Edit on: 11-23-2006 14:48 »

Thanks!I edited it so Scruffy'l talk more like Scruffy now.Scruffy were too much out of character before
LuvFry

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #70 on: 11-25-2006 19:33 »

Scruffy, the emperor of a planet... I knew there was a reason I liked you ;)
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #71 on: 11-27-2006 16:01 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

Thanks,LuvFry!I finally got a chance top write a update so here it is!I'm gonna take this away from futuristic stuff(maybe except lasers).And I finally named the revolt crazy slave!

The Solid Emperor    chapter XI

Leela and Scruffy were hiding from the Trisolians in the shadow.Leela wondered how Fry stayed alive here for hours.
Trisolian:’You go that way,we’ll go this way.They gotta be somewhere here.’
The Trisolians splited.One of them was going Leela’s and Scruffy’s direction.
Leela:’Hi-jah!’
She hit’ the Trisolian causing him to splash(or whatever the right word is) into a puddle.Leela ran away quickly,Scruffy stood there a while then ran away too.

Fry finally found Leela.Only she brought a bunch of Trisolians.
Fry:’Errr,Leela…’
She kept running.Fry looked at the Trisolians.He ran after Leela.Soon they were in some kind of cold empty corridors.Another ladder.Now they were in corridors that looked like the ones in the fortress.
Fry: (thinking)’Wow,déjà vu really is weird!’
Leela:’Well thanks for coming back for me,Fry’
Fry:’Ahh,it was nothin’.What happened to your walky-talky?’
Leela:’I think it fell of in the mines’
They pushed a gate.It opened showing large steps.They ended with a wall and a gate to the desert.The actual city was to the right and to the left of the steps.Only part of it(the city) actually.Fry and Leela looked at each other.
Leela:’Well,what are we waiting for?!’
They started running to the gate.The problem was that though they were running down,it also was good for the Trisolians.It wasn’t too far away..Fry started feeling the Trisolians’ liquid.Leela grabbed hold of Fry’s jacket,pulled him and they both jumped down in the Trisolians’ city…

The rebellion obsessed slave(his name is Doug) was fighting a Trisolians and the thing Scruffy,Leela and Fry used as a paddle.They crossed the sword and the paddle.Doug moved to the right,then bashed into the Trisolian splashing(or what’s the right word) him into a puddle.He grabbed the Trisolian’s sword and started fighting against the next one now with two weapons.

Amy was looking at Doug fighting a Trisolian.
Amy: (dreamily)’Not bad.Not bad at all!’
She immediately felt bad about herself.People were dying around and she’s thinking about the guy who started it like about just a hot guy.She didn’t know what to think about Doug.On one hand he started this blood bath,on the other hand he’s trying to free the slaves.
She took a cup of water that for some reason was there and drinked from it.She felt like there was a explosion in her mouth.Her cheeks almost ripped.She spitted out the water.A Trisolian!She grabbed her laser pistol and shooted him. Her laser pistol!Why didn’t she think about that a long time ago?
Amy:’Catch!’
Doug catched the laser pistol Amy threw to him.He shooted his liquid opponent and looked at a gate some sounds were coming from.It looked like a Trisolian mob was trying to get in.He puted the pistol on hyper death and started waiting.
LuvFry

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #72 on: 11-27-2006 18:54 »

How much worse is "hyper death" than just regular old death? ;)
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #73 on: 11-28-2006 02:28 »

Well,I got the idea for "hyper death" fron Brannigan Begin Again.
Writer unit32

Professor
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« Reply #74 on: 12-04-2006 03:09 »
« Last Edit on: 12-20-2006 00:00 »

I'll be late to school because of this but here's the update:

The Solid Emperor     chapter XII

Fry hitted the ground and immediately rolled awayb from the puddle he landed in.Though it was painful when he fell,he wasn’t going to lie in the fluid that he still remembered from the mines(well spl’uh,he was there almost all day).
Leela:’How did water get here?Oh,ye,the rain…’
Fry:’I don’t think that’s water.’
Leela:’Well,what is it then?’
Fry:’A dead Trisolian.’
Leela:’Eeeeww!’
Fry:’So where are we?’
They both standed up.Leela looked around and saw the outer wall before them.
Leela:’The Trisolians’ city.’
Fry:’Oh well,nothing’s stoppin’ us from going throw the front gates…’
Leela looked at the gates.The guards were already talking to the Trisolians.
Leela:’They are!’

Blurp(what,it’s a Trisolian name) was trying to get throw a gate.So was a whole Trisolian mob.With the whole rebellion all the Emperor’s plans were spoiled.
Finally the gate opened.He saw a human slave shooting a laser pistol and then he got incredibly hot.He was boiling.Everything was going dark…

Leela and Fry were in a alley.They were watching two Trisolians going down a empty street in some kind of robes.
Leela:’They’re liquid so,I think,if we poison them it’ll kill them.Do you cary any poison around?’
Fry:’Errr,no…Hey what about my hair gel?!’
Fry took some hair gel out of his pocket.He threw it on the Trisolians.The Trisolians went the same colour as the gel and fell on the ground.Fry and Leela took they’re robes.
Fry:’Awww,they’re too big’
Leela: (sighing)’They’re suppose to be too big,that way the Trisolians wont see that we’re actually humans’
Fry:’Oh.Ok,then…’
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #75 on: 12-04-2006 03:13 »

Haha... deadly hair gel. I must try that.
monkey_nibble

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #76 on: 12-05-2006 03:40 »

I always thought thatchavs hair gel was deadly as they all make that stupid noise like brraa brraa so isn't that like when you scream nooooo when you are dieing so I now agree with you on killer hair gel.
kisskisskiss!

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #77 on: 12-06-2006 14:05 »

coooooollll!i totally agree i always thought it sounds like they are spazticated.
Writer unit32

Professor
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« Reply #78 on: 12-06-2006 17:11 »

Right...Before certain people spam all pver the thread(the thread could use a few pages but no through spamming!) I want to know your opinion about the fic.
Writer unit32

Professor
*
« Reply #79 on: 12-16-2006 16:46 »

Sorry guys,that I didn't post anything for so long,I had some problems with my computer and with the Internet.but I'll write something soon.
Sorry for double posting too.
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