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Author Topic: Tasty's Art and Fan Fic thread... OF DOOM  (Read 37246 times)
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Liquid Emperor
« Reply #160 on: 10-23-2006 23:03 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
It was Halloween? Huhh... We in Australia don't really have that.

Too bad, you're missing out on free candy. And all ya gotta do is put  on some shitty costume and knock on people's doors. Last year all I did was take a headband and glue paper dog ears to it and I got a bagfull of the stuff.
Back on-topic, I crave to see how this ends. It's a chilling addition to this balanced-Halloween.  :)
 And as for stories that aren't Futurama related, I also mean a story that isn't a fan fic, just something I pulled from my ass. I can't find where I can post it, if not here...
Anyways, Keep Up The Great Work!!!!

Bending Unit
« Reply #161 on: 10-24-2006 05:46 »

^Some people once came to our door trick or treating for Halloween (in Australia so that's rare here) and dad slammed the door in their faces LOL. Same as those people who come to try to make you join their religion. Saying we're not interested works just as well, but whatever.
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #162 on: 10-24-2006 06:14 »

Hocrap! I just typed a whole lot of stuff and it didn't go through! ... take #2

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
It was Halloween? Huhh... We in Australia don't really have that.

I know, I'm Australian too. I'm just aware of the American culture and the fact that Futurama is based there.

@Cyberphobia and LuvFry;
The advertisement was just a stroke of randomeness, nothing more, I was feeling particulary silly but the mainplot line needed seriousness therefore I just went against the flow.

@Writer unit32;
Gheshians aren't monsters; THEY'RE ALIENS!

@KitKat; Balanced? What do you mean by that?

@Cyberphobia (again)
My dad would probably do that too, but we're normally out on Halloween, due to mah birfday!  :D

@everyone in general;
The End is near! (ho noes!) But it may not come until the weekend as I'm at work experience at the present moment. And I promise thee another script and a saga fic afterwards, and art! Lots of juicy, shippy art!
Thanks all for replying *sends vibes of love, hugs and cookies*

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #163 on: 10-24-2006 06:23 »

I eagerly await the Great Pumpkin.  ;)


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #164 on: 10-24-2006 07:13 »
« Last Edit on: 10-24-2006 07:13 by coldangel_1 »

I've been brought up to violently oppose any imposition of American culture onto our own. Thus my reaction to Halloween being enacted in Australia is similar. I was spewing a while back when the government started talking about having thanksgiving day. It's all well and good for America with its own historical relevance, but these things have naught to do with our own heritage. This parasitic absorption of pre-existing *relevant* cultures by American culture should be lamented. Effegies should be burnt. The sun should be blotted out and the waters should run red with blood. All will perish!

...what was I talking about?
Writer unit32

« Reply #165 on: 10-24-2006 09:18 »

I've got a feeling that the end's gonna be shippy
PCC Fred

Space Pope
« Reply #166 on: 10-24-2006 19:45 »

Brilliant TLF!  Real edge of the seat stuff.  And it's great the way you've incorporated Zoidberg into the story.  :)

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Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #167 on: 10-25-2006 02:52 »

Xanfor; Oh yesh, the Great Pumpkin... I'm afraid that he is currently simmering in the great pot for Jack Sprat and his wife down Gooseberry lane.

coldangel_1; I don't like Americanisms either, but my birthday;s on Halloween and it's kind of special to me... not the theme, the actual fact that the day has a special name.

Writer unit32; Oh, I dunno...  :p

PCC: Meehee, very nice, and thankyou!

Bending Unit
« Reply #168 on: 10-25-2006 11:14 »

Originally posted by Tastes Like Fry:
Oh yesh, the Great Pumpkin... I'm afraid that he is currently simmering in the great pot for Jack Sprat and his wife down Gooseberry lane.

You mean to tell me I'll be waiting in the pumpkin patch for no reason this year?!  :eek:

I actually always thought he looked an awful lot like a beagle....  :hmpf:

Happy early birthday! Sending love and cake from Florida (imaginery cake that is)  :love:

Can't wait for a (hopefully) shippy ending  :p
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #169 on: 10-26-2006 07:09 »

I only know about the Great Pumpkin because of the Snoopy comics... I've never actually seen what the Great Pumpkin is supposed to look like.

Thankyou! *eats cake*

 :p you won't be dissapointed!
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #170 on: 10-27-2006 00:21 »
« Last Edit on: 10-27-2006 00:21 »

Hokay, I'm going to wrap this story up now because I'm going away for the weekend and then I have to attend an Induction on either Monday or Tuesday.

After a moment the Nibblonians climbed off of Fry and started to head out into street. Leela stepped over them to kneel by Fry’s side. Red flushed his pale cheeks, his claws retracted back to normal nails and the scales became loose and started to blow away. His breathing was harsh and but regular and his rigid body gradually became more relaxed. Leela gently tapped on a fang with her nail and gasped when the sharp tip simply turned to dust.
‘Dried out.’ Nibbler informed her, ‘When Gheshians don’t drink their required amount of blood, they dry out quickly.’ He tapped the other one firmly and it too disappeared to dust.
‘He could have bitten me.’ She said in amazement tracing his now normal teeth, ‘But he didn’t.’
‘After a while, people can fight their possessors, but it takes a lot of mental effort.’ He glanced down at Fry’s figure.
‘He didn’t show much resistance when we took him the second time, you must have reminded him of himself. Well done.’ Leela had to think for a moment to understand what he meant before smiled proudly, but then glanced worriedly at him.
‘He’s going to be alright?’
‘Yes, you’re going to make sure of that, and I will help you.’ The Nibblonian walked out to where his spaceship was and pushed it into the alley.
‘Can I ask you something?’ Leela said to Nibbler as she picked up the leftover cup.
‘Anything, my friend.’ Leela smiled warmly at her surprising pet.
‘What was it that you gave him?’
‘It seems to be a strong alcohol base with a rare liquid healing potion. The alcohol kills off Gheshian DNA while the healing potion will heal cuts and counter any effects the alcohol causes to the natural system.’ He said informatively as he prepared his ship. ‘It turns out we could have rubbed any alcoholic substance into the wound, but I thought it had to be consumed, that’s why it confused me in…’
‘Fry’s drunken state he still transformed.’ Leela finished for him. Brushing off some excess scales, she picked up Fry’s limp figure with difficulty and sat him in the small ship.
‘Uh, Nibbler? How are we going to fit?’ Nibbler thought for a second then pressed a button on the dash board and it made the ship expand backwards putting an extra seat between Fry and the front seat. Leela squeezed in, half sitting on the chair, half in Fry’s lap. Nibbler scrambled in and closed the roof; Leela’s head was forced down and Fry’s was forced to her shoulder. The spacehip shuddered with extra weight as it took off in to the streets of New New York.

It touched down by Leela’s apartment and Nibbler popped out as the roof opened. Leela was glad to have the pressure off her head, but she found she could not climb out; Fry’s head was still gently rested on her shoulder and for some reason his arms held her waist in a firm embrace. She gently pried his fingers from her middle and tried to carefully slip out from under his head without letting him fall forward. She carried him carefully to her apartment and after brushing most of the scales off in the bathtub she laid him gently on the bed.

‘The Fry that I love, I love, I love, I love’
‘kill her, kill her, kill her.’
‘Stop toying with me!’
‘So thirsty, so thirsty…’
‘You can smell her, you can taste her…’
‘I don’t want to hurt her… oh God, what am I doing?’
‘Fry, you’re scaring me… scaring me… scaring me…’
‘Don’t spoil my fun, kill her, kill her, kill her’
‘Help! Please anybody!’
All was quiet. All was still. Fry sat alone in a dark tunnel. It was he that had shouted last, he had shouted at the voices, and now the reminiscent silence pressed down upon him. He sobbed; he was confused, why was it so dark? His sob echoed in the tunnel. There was no light anywhere. He sat there, not thinking, thinking hurts his brain and he knew that the voices would start echoing around him again. It was just a nightmare he would have to wait out; he’d had this kind of dream before, but that time it was full of giant bees buzzing and for some reason Bender was wearing a hula skirt and dancing the Can-can.
But this time he shut his mind off and sat and waited for a sign that he was going to wake up. He sat for at least a few minutes before he became bored, he glanced up and down the dark place and decided to go for a walk. He stumbled through the darkness until he reached one end of the tunnel where there was a door. Behind the door were some steps which he climbed to the top of and there was a room that looked oddly like Leela’s apartment. He stared confusedly at it for awhile before deciding that he wanted to lie on the bed. He rested his head back, comfortable. He closed his eyes and imagined Leela lying down next to him. A wicked smile crossed his lips as he thought of her warm body next to his, her hair loose at her shoulders, her lips pressed against his own, she breathed with him, her scent overpowering, and her hands tangled in his hair, massaging his neck, sliding down his chest…
‘Leela,’ he whispered breathlessly.
‘Fry?’ With a start, Fry opened his eyes.
‘Whoa…’ Fry pinched himself to find he wasn’t dreaming. Leela knelt before him almost exactly how he imagined her. Her hands were rested on his chest, her hair cascading over her bare shoulders, her rather revealing silken nightgown clinging to her shapely figure.
Leela flushed as Fry eyed her. She didn’t realise he would respond or even wake to her touch; she hadn’t thought her actions through.
‘What’s happened to your arm?’ Fry said, reaching up and touching the fresh wounds gently.
‘I… I-I was cut.’ Leela said, flustered. Fry’s eyes immediately widened in realisation and remembrance to earlier events.
‘Oh God.’ His hand jumped to his mouth. He immediately backed away from her, tears springing to his eyes.
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Fry, it’s not your fault.’ But Fry just stared at her in horror.
‘I nearly killed you!’
‘Fry,’ Leela said forcefully, taking him by his shoulders, ‘I’m fine, you’re fine, the Nibblonians are fine and the future’s going to be fine…’ Leela quickly clamped a hand to her mouth, but Fry didn’t seem to notice her slip.
‘How’d I get back up here from the street?’
‘I carried you.’
‘Oh.’ He paused and once again took in her appearance; her skin now glowed with the sky lightening in the early morning.
‘You weren’t wearing that in the street.’
‘Well of course not!’
‘Why’d you change?’
‘I- that is to say… uh…’ Leela was caught off-guard, and she wondered herself why she had put on something so seductive.
‘You put it on just for me?’ Fry teased grinning as Leela blushed.
‘It-I-My other things are in the wash.’
‘What? Those things?’ Fry pointed to a heap of clothes lying on the floor, more noticeably on the top of the pile was her bra.
It was a rare moment; Fry had outsmarted Leela. Fry casually put his arm around her shoulder.
‘It looks good on you.’ He said smoothly he said gently tracing the lines of her shoulder blades. ‘You should wear it more often.’
‘If you try and hit on me one more time, I’ll knock you flat on your back and I’ll… and…I’ll…’
‘Make hot sexy love to me?’
Leela’s hand came from nowhere and slapped him across the face. But instantly after, she seized his head and pushed him flat on his back and kissed him fiercely.

‘Beeender oh Bender, I’m so great and I kick ass, Bender’s great and if you don’t like it, you can bite my ass!’
Bender strolled happily down the quiet street of New New York, his energy levels were back to normal and he was happy having spent the night with numerous floozy bots and having left with so many numbers to call if he had ever over-charged again. He whistled cheerily to himself, wondering where Fry had gotten too so he could tell him all about it. He puffed on his cigar, practising his story in his head, he was so focused that he nearly passed the apartments where Leela lived without noticing. But he stopped sight of a singular pirate patch lying on the ground. He picked it up, the clogs in his mind turning. He observed the apartments before him, grinned evilly and went inside.

‘Leela, it’s time.’
Leela poked her head out of the sheets, her hair tousled, her breath short and her expression one of surprise and yet annoyance at being interrupted.
 ‘Whassamatta?’ Fry struggled to sit up. Leela moved slightly so he could pop his head up next to hers. His hair was just as messy as hers and he had her lipstick smudged across his face. Nibbler shot them a look of amusement before emitting a bright light from his antennae. They stared blankly at him for a moment.
‘Did everything just taste purple?’ Fry quipped, Leela shuddered.
‘More like orange.’ They stopped for a moment and in shock took in their proximity and partially lack of clothes.
‘Oh my God….’
‘I’ve died and gone to heaven…’
‘Don’t be stupid. What was in that drink Fry?’
‘Uh, Iunno.’ Said Fry, understandably distracted. Leela blushed and tried to drag the sheet between them.
‘Don’t.’ she said, trying to hide behind the sheet and her loose hair.
‘Don’t what?’ Fry whispered breathlessly, gently pushing a lock of her hair out of her eye; he cupped her face with his hand and lifted her chin so he could see her properly. Their noses touched gently.
‘Don’t… don’t stop…’ Leela murmured as Fry’s hand slid down her back over the silken nightgown and pulled her in. Their trembling lips brushed lightly, but suddenly Leela’s alarm went off and she pushed back from him.
‘Oh crap, is that the time?’ With an apologetic glance at a frustrated Fry, she pulled on a dressing gown and literately ran out of the room, and straight into Bender.
‘How long have you been standing there?’
‘Long enough.’ Bender grinned, Leela flushed and seized him by the shoulders.
‘How long?’ Still grinning, Bender’s eyes changed shape to ‘play’
‘… Don’t… don’t stop…’ Leela’s own lustful voice emitted though him. Leela thumped her fist on his chest.
‘Delete it!’
‘Actually I was thinking about how much Zapp Brannigan would-…’ Next thing he remembered, Bender was slammed into the floor. He sat up and watched Leela run out crying. He wondered if he had been too harsh when he was suddenly seized by his antennae.
‘Ow! Fry let me go!’
‘Why did you have to go and say that?’ he said angrily, he pushed out of the way with his foot and hurried after Leela.
‘You’ll be thanking me in the long run!’ Bender hollered after him.
Fry found Leela rushedly washing her face in the bathroom. Her eye closed, she fumbled for a towel and found one being pushed into her hands.
‘Just ignore Bender, he’s a robot, he doesn’t understand females.’ Fry said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
‘Oh, and I suppose you think you do?’
‘Sometimes,’ Fry said thoughtfully, ‘You keep surprising me though.’
‘I do?’
‘Yeah…’ An uncomfortable pause split the space between them.
‘I guess you are surprising too.’ Leela said, turning to put her towel away. She picked up a hair tie from a small box and deftly swept her hair into its regular ponytail.
‘So…are we going out?’ Fry asked hopefully,
‘I’ll have to think about it.’ Leela said as she tidied up the sink. She glanced up and saw his dejected look in the mirror.
‘Hey,’ she turned and lifted his chin to make him look her in the eye. ‘I haven’t said no.’
Fry deposition immediately brightened. Leela smiled,
‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a shower, and no you can’t come in with me.’ She said as a suggestive grin crept across his face. She gave him a push toward the door.
‘Go take Bender home.’

‘Good news everyone! Today you’re going to the planet of Dummy to deliver these new atomic nuclear pacifiers I’ve invented.’
‘Oh, so you’re not talking about Fry?’ asked Bender,
‘Who-wa? Oh my no. Incidentally I’ve discovered the reaction of the nasty pestilence that has infiltrated the system. Fry, you aren’t a Gheshian are you?’
‘What’s a Gheshian?’
‘It’s a mythical black creature that could wipe out the human race, oh yes. I’d prefer to use a doomsday device.’
‘Uh, no?’
‘Well of course not you dummy! Stop talking and go and deliver those dummies!’
The trio got up to set off.
‘How’s your cut?’ Leela said, coming up beside Fry.
‘What now?’
‘The cut you got…’ but she trailed off, the cut wasn’t there, in fact there was no trace of it whatsoever. Even the stitches had gone.
‘Weird…wait a second Fry, you’ve got something in your hair.’ Leela seized the delivery boy by the shoulders and forced him onto his knees so she could reach. She carefully picked the something out of his hair and holding her palm out to him for him to see. It was a black shiny scale. Leela frowned.
‘That’s odd.’
‘These remind me of something important, but I can’t remember what…’
‘Oh well, don’t worry about it, I know I’m not.’ Fry boarded the ship leaving Leela standing outside. She let the wind pick the scale from her hand and blow it away. She sighed.
‘I wish I knew, oh well, I’m glad we’re rid of those bugs now.’ She turned and climbed the steps into the ship. All seemed to end well, except that when she had disappeared in to the ship, a small and unnoticed Gheshian quickly ran out of hiding and mounted the steps before they closed.

The End (OR IS IT?   :flirt: )

... no that is actually the end. Any thought of sequel may come to me next year.

Moving on!

'A muscle in weight proportion' is coming soon to a computer near you!
... next week some time

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #171 on: 10-27-2006 04:39 »

Awesome. To be commended. A time honoured tale - boy meets girl, boy turns into bloodthirsty monster, girl helps him revert to human form, boy and girl shag like crazy. It's very similar to a lot of my relationships.

Bending Unit
« Reply #172 on: 10-27-2006 09:57 »

Awww beautiful!!! Except that Leela and Fry aren't exactly fully together... but they is hope. And the random Gheshian at the end leaves it really open so if they're is no sequel eventually, I might get a little mad LOL

Nah, bloody awesome story! I look forward to reading more of your stuff sometime in the future!
Writer unit32

« Reply #173 on: 10-27-2006 09:59 »

It's good you can't suck blood throw the Internet Coldangel.
Well now I'm gonna get drunk every day so I won't turn into a Gheshian!

Bending Unit
« Reply #174 on: 10-27-2006 16:52 »

Great story!!!! You were right, I wasn't disappointed!  :)
PCC Fred

Space Pope
« Reply #175 on: 10-27-2006 18:13 »

Great work TLF.  It's one of the best shippy stories I've seen for a while.  :love:

And the 'nearly but not quite' ending was really stylish.  I can't wait to see what you come up with next.  :)
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #176 on: 10-28-2006 20:36 »

coldangel_1, who said they were shagging? They still had their clothes on.  :p I don't promote sex before marraige... not right in my moral book. But let's not argue about that.

Cyberphobia; There's lots of Futurama episodes that leave Fry and Leela's relationship like that. Say; Why of Fry, 300 Big Boys, The Sting, and I'm sure lots of others that I can't remember.
Yeah, so thanks!  :D

Writer unit32; Spellcheck: It's 'through' not 'throw'. And drinking alcohol won't help, you're supposed to rub it into the wound. It's the healing potion that you drink.

LuvFry; I'm glad! and thankyou!

PCC Fred;  :love: Thankyou!

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #177 on: 10-28-2006 20:51 »

Wow, that was great...Loved it to little itty bitty bits!  :love:
Consider yourself the next Oprah, TLF-your art and story combo inspired me to make one of my own. The story is still in the original art thread (KitKatBar-Fry Decides to Hand-Draw Some Stuff Too) Come check it out.  ;) And Thank you for motivating me!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #178 on: 10-29-2006 02:30 »

Haha... marriage...  :laff:
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #179 on: 10-30-2006 01:21 »

Thanks KKBF, you're welcome!

coldangel_1; well, what something special are you to share with your special one that noone else has shared with you previously. Lust is not a substitute for love.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #180 on: 10-30-2006 04:10 »

Haha... love...  :laff:

Bending Unit
« Reply #181 on: 10-30-2006 05:07 »

Originally posted by Tastes Like Fry:
coldangel_1; well, what something special are you to share with your special one that noone else has shared with you previously. Lust is not a substitute for love.
I sooo agree with you.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #182 on: 10-30-2006 05:16 »


Bending Unit
« Reply #183 on: 10-30-2006 05:27 »

Nah, I'm Jewish. LOL

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #184 on: 10-30-2006 05:33 »

Well I'm an agnostic heathen lapsing occasionally into Paganism, and I don't hold much importance on a piece of paper personally. Making romance 'official' really takes the er... romance out of it... IMO.
But each to their own. Officializing things is how some people deal with the world, and there ain't nothing wrong with a bit of gool old-fashioned compartmentalization of one's existence.
I don't judge. I'm just less rigid about such things of natural beauty.
What I do question is the possibility that a lot of young people from your school of thought might be rushing out to get married too fast and too early just because they're desperate for a shag and indoctrination prevents them from letting nature take its course in a way that doesn't see them getting chained to a monumental commitment for no good reason.

But this is perhaps the wrong forum...

Bending Unit
« Reply #185 on: 10-30-2006 05:39 »

Well my concept thingy is that I only want to 'be' with one person in my life ever who will be 'the one' and in theory, marriage is supposed to last forever. So if I wait until I'm married, then in theory, I'll only give myself to one guy.

Lets ignore the concept of divorce, ok.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #186 on: 10-30-2006 05:47 »

Well good luck. Hope you haven't got a very big libido, 'cause you'd wanna take a real long time to make sure the one is really the one.
Personally I don't see why sex is considered such a big deal. It's just a grunting sweating physical act. Love itself is not physical.
PCC Fred

Space Pope
« Reply #187 on: 10-30-2006 06:18 »

I sort of agree with TLF and Cyberphobia.  I don't have any particular objection to sex before marriage, but I consider it a big enough deal that I want it to be with someone who actually means something to me, rather than some girl I picked up at a bar ten minutes ago.

Bending Unit
« Reply #188 on: 10-30-2006 06:39 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
Well good luck. Hope you haven't got a very big libido, 'cause you'd wanna take a real long time to make sure the one is really the one.
Personally I don't see why sex is considered such a big deal. It's just a grunting sweating physical act. Love itself is not physical.
Yeah but you're exposing yourself in such an intimate way and I don't want to have that with just anyone. It removes like all barriers between you and the person.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #189 on: 10-30-2006 06:51 »

Hhh, well I'm no expert. I will never be emotionally close to anyone.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #190 on: 10-30-2006 07:05 »

@Both Posts Above: True, true.


Liquid Emperor
« Reply #191 on: 10-30-2006 07:10 »

Hey, Tastykins, congrads on becoming a starship captain! What're you gonna call your ship?
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #192 on: 10-30-2006 17:04 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:

Yeah, I am, and proud of it.

I think Cyberphobia has said everything that needs to be said, so I'm not going to say anymore because I don't want to start bible bashing and put people off... unless you wanna be bible bashed? *holds up chunky hard cover NIV*

KitKatBar-Fry; Whoa, I didn't even realise I'd hit that mark, Yay!
I have no idea... any ideas?

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #193 on: 10-30-2006 17:10 »

How about 'The Tasty Ship?"
Lol, I'm just kidding. You call it whatever you want, buddy.
Apple Tea

Bending Unit
« Reply #194 on: 10-30-2006 17:10 »

You should call it Excelsior!

Or how about PurpleMonkeyDishwasher?
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #195 on: 10-30-2006 17:25 »

Ooh, forgot to say, in Australia it's Halloween already, yay, I'm 20.. hocrap... I'm no longer a teen...

KKBF; I don't want something that sounds like my name.
AppleT; lol, I've dubbed my dishwasher that name.

How about 'Yesterday' then I call myself Captain of Yesterday.  ;)  :laff:
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #196 on: 10-30-2006 19:42 »

Right, here's the beginning of the story that's taking ages in the making, hopefully the qualities add up to the effort I put in.

FRY and BENDER are chilling on the couch watching TV when LEELA and AMY walk in the door decked out in swimwear

LEELA: Hey Fry, we’re going to the pool, wanna come?
FRY: [slouching further into his chair] I can’t swim.
AMY: Oh come on, it’ll be fun. You’re coming aren’t you Bender?
BENDER: I dunno [swigs beer and burps flame] I mean, isn’t it a human thing?
AMY: There’s an oil pool there.

HERMES appears in the doorway wearing nothing but his Speedos.

HERMES: Hurry up! Da professor’s goin’ ta drive if you don’t come.

AMY made a panicked sound and dashes out the door.

LEELA: [to BENDER] There’ll be fembots.
BENDER: I’m there! [BENDER exeunt]
LEELA: Come on Fry, it’ll be fun.

FRY sinks so low in his chair he is in danger of slipping off
FRY: Don’t wanna.
LEELA takes up the remote and turns the TV off.

FRY: [indignant] Hey, I was watching that!
LEELA stows the remote in her bag and walks out the door.
FRY: [cont] Now how am I supposed to turn the TV on?

Futurama: A muscle of weight proportion.
Caption: The best way to waste your time.

Two cars are driving on the highway; AMY’S flashy red car (as seen in PYHOMS, but with a few upgrades (extra eagles installed)); AMY and BENDER are in the front, ZOIDBERG, PROF and HERMES are in the back.

ZOIDBERG: Hooray! I’m going out with friends!
HERMES: Move over you jerked jerk!
PROF: [warbley professor noises]
AMY: [irritated] Quiet in the back!
HERMES: He started it!
BENDER: Shut the hell up!

LEELA, FRY, CUBERT and DWIGHT are in LEELA’S beat up car.

CUBERT: So what I think you just said…
DWIGHT: Yes! The blaster 5000 is so the latest trend in water blasters.
CUBERT: [laughing] Tracey won’t know what hit her!
LEELA: Wait, you’re going to water blast a girl?
FRY: So? I do it to you all the time.
LEELA: Let me rephrase that; you’re going to water blast a defenceless girl?
CUBERT: Uh, hello? She’s an insectalian; from the planet insectalia.
FRY: Say what?
DWIGHT: Duh, she’s like a huge scorpion and has paralysing fluid that could stop an elephant.
CUBERT: But with the right force of the correct amount of liquid;
DWIGHT: We’ll knock her defenceless! [He and CUBERT high-five]
LEELA: That’s still a very mean thing to do. Right Fry?
FRY: What? ... Oh yeah, very mean. What Leela said.
DWIGHT: So what are you going to do about it?
CUBERT: Yeah, I mean, it’s not like you’re… you’re…
DWIGHT: …our parents or anything!
CUBERT: Oh, that’s rich. One-eye and the idiot with children!
FRY: Shut up! I’m not stupid!
CUBERT: Uh, Idiot; I said idiot you idiot…
LEELA: Alright! If you don’t stop I’m going to turn this car around and go back home.
DWIGHT: Yes, MOTHER what are you going to do? Make idiot FATHER here teach us a maturity lesson?

CUBERT and DWIGHT dissolve into evil giggles. LEELA sighs unhappily and half glances at FRY to see how he’s feeling about the mean jests. FRY has wound down the window and stuck his head out and let loose a Tarzan call as they shoot down the highway.

LEELA: Oh for Pete’s sake.

LEELA pulls FRY back into his seat. His hair is sticking up from every angle from the wind.

FRY: Man that was fun.

The cars pull up at a large building. The sign out the front says: ‘Swimming Pool Welcome to all! No penguins allowed.’
The PE crew walk along the corridor and they pass various pools for different beings. We see the gelatinous blobs blobbing around in murky green water as well as a seal display where a killer whale suddenly appears and causes panic within the tank. They reach a shell creature tank.

ZOIDBERG: Ooh, a special swim place for me?

But his co-workers don’t answer; they have kept on walking. They reach the oil bathing baths.

BENDER: Goodbye losers! [Enters]

Next to it there is a spa marked ‘Senile.’

PROF: [echoing BENDER] Goodbye losers!

He has striped down to naked and enters the room mumbling senilely.

They finally reach the main pool room. CUBERT and DWIGHT drag HERMES over to the somewhat hazardous water playground. Children are running around insanely; two collide and as a consequence fall down into a whirlpool screaming. FRY makes to go to the kiddie pool but LEELA catches his arm and pulls him over to the main pool where AMY is already in the water.

AMY: I’m going to swim some laps with that cute guy over there. [Points to a sporty looking jock that was waggling his eyebrows in their direction]

AMY paddles off. FRY cautiously dipped his toe in the edge.

FRY: Why does water have to be so wet?

A troop of much younger boys ran past and knock FRY who becomes unbalanced; waving his arms like flags in a gale. FRY regained his balance.
FRY: Phew!

LIFEGUARD: No running near the pool! [Runs past and knocks FRY]

His balance lost, FRY bellyflops in to the water and splashes in a panic
FRY: Help, I can’t swim!

LEELA grabs FRY by his upper arm and hauled him to his feet; the water is only thigh deep.

FRY: Phew, thanks Leela. [traces finger in the water swirls] Now what?

FRY looks across the swimming pool…

YANCY and PHILIP (FRY) are in a children’s pool. Their mother is sitting on the edge of the pool dangling her legs in. She is listening to a sport telecast and not really paying attention to her children.

YANCY: Hey! Butter fingers! Catch!

YANCY throws a ball none too soft and it deflects off PHILIP’S head causing him to fall into the water. Spluttering, PHILIP half crawls, half trips over to his mother.

PHIL: Yancy’s not playing fair!
MRS. FRY: Yancy, be nice to your brother… ooh yes! Touchdown!
YANCY: [under breath to PHIL] Squealer. Why are you so stupid, stupid?
PHIL: Am not!
YANCY: Are too, butterfingers!
PHIL: Yancy! Stop calling me that!

PHIL shoves YANCY, but YANCY sees it coming and overpowers him and dunks him into the water. PHIL has barely time for a breath in surfacing before he is dunked again… and again… and again…


FRY: [shuddering] Just don’t dunk me.
LEELA: Fine.

LEELA picks up a stray ball and throws it at FRY, making a satisfying ‘thunk’ noise as it deflected off of his head. Annoyed and waterlogged, FRY snatched the ball and throws it back, but LEELA catches it gracefully and returns the pass with extra force. It lands early and FRY gets a face full of pool water.

FRY: [spluttering] Cut that out!

FRY tosses the ball back to LEELA, and their game begins. AMY and her newly found friend come and join them in a little game of four way pool volleyball. FRY loses spectacularly as he keeps having small panic attacks when he loses his footing.


Tired and relaxed, the PE crew sit around the table still in their bathers, CUBERT and DWIGHT wrapped in a towel together fast asleep. FRY watches them, and then turns to LEELA.

FRY: [suggestively] This towel’s big enough for two.

FRY lifts up part of his towel in what he hoped was an inviting way.

LEELA: [pushing his arm down] No.

The PROF’S snores soon filled the air and the other PE members glanced at each other uncertainly.

AMY: What was the point of this meeting?

PROF: [waking up] Hu-wah? [adjusts glasses] Oh, I have good news everyone! [stands up and hands LEELA a set of keys] You’re off to the planet of Geonsis to deliver the weights for the heavy champions.

The PROF sits down and smiles pleasantly at everyone before tilting his head back and resumed his snoring. LEELA looks at the keys in her hand and then looks questionably at HERMES.

HERMES: *snoring*
LEELA: [to FRY] ‘What are the keys for you reckon?’
SCRUFFY: They’re Scruffy’s keys. You need them to unlock the weights to put them in the ship.
FRY: Well, can you help?
SCRUFFY: No can do. [He shows them a mop] Scruffy has his own work to do.

SCRUFFY pulls a playboy magazine out from the mop and shuffles out the door.

LEELA: Well you heard the man. [She hands FRY the keys] I’ll prep the ship. Bender; go help.

BENDER had been trying to sidle out of view made a noise of frustration and slowly follows his co-workers into the hanger. Two hours later; FRY and BENDER sit exhausted beside the packed cargo. LEELA walks in.

LEELA: Done yet? You took your time. [walks out]
BENDER: What?! No worshipping gracious thankyous? Bender is great! He deserves love! Gimme love you cold hearted b…
FRY: Bender!
BENDER: Well she is. [Shudders] Oh crap, low on power, I need alcohol and rest… perhaps a TV, some floozie-bots, blackjack maybe… [Jauntily saunters out of the room]

The ship shook slightly as it takes off. FRY makes his way to his and BENDER’S shared room. He collapses onto his bunk and immediately falls asleep.
(to be continued…)

Author's note: Insectalians are nothing like Gheshians.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #197 on: 10-30-2006 22:29 »

I *like* it.
Heh, he can't swim. I've never met anyone who couldn't swim. How embarassing.

Bending Unit
« Reply #198 on: 10-31-2006 09:40 »

Like your new story. Thought I'd wish you a happy birthday on your birthday, so:

Writer unit32

« Reply #199 on: 10-31-2006 10:40 »
« Last Edit on: 10-31-2006 10:40 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
I *like* it.
Heh, he can't swim. I've never met anyone who couldn't swim. How embarassing.

Hey my species can't swim,so what?
Although I'm a mutant(not like in Earth sewer,a mutant for my species) and I'm 30% a robot.That helps me survive...And the robot part is a part of a writing unit.So I can swim...   :rolleyes:
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