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: A Brief History Of The Future Presents......  (Read 730 times)
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Bending Unit
« : 03-30-2006 15:39 »
« : 03-30-2006 15:39 »

Laverne Le Pompedeiu (2914-2987)

Born in France in 2914, Laverne Le Pompedeiu graduated from the Jackson Pollock Institute Of Abstract Art in 2935. Then, like all artists, he went on a journey to 'find himself' in his case to the planet Cubix 4, where he became obsessed with cubes. This is reflected best in two of his most famous works, Madison Cube Garden (2978) and the New Centeral Beraucracy Building (2984)

I'll post more later.
Liquid Emperor
« #1 : 03-30-2006 18:52 »

2987, mmmm... liver failure?

Bending Unit
« #2 : 03-31-2006 01:57 »

Nope, beaten to death by Sphere enthusiasts.

Bending Unit
« #3 : 03-31-2006 02:07 »
« : 03-31-2006 02:07 »

The Holophoner was invented in 2672 by Hugo Von Ratzinburg. Von Ratzinburg taught Holographics at New Vienna University, when, due to budget cuts, he was told to teach Xenomusic also. His new class consisted of Holographics and Xenomusic students. So, inorder to create a commen interest for both, he created the Holophoner. However when he took it to the patent office, he was denounced as being insane and was duly commited into a near by mental institution, where he spent the next 50 years.
Hugo Von Ratzinburg, Holophoner Inventor
2651- 2722


Liquid Emperor
« #4 : 03-31-2006 02:59 »
« : 03-31-2006 02:59 »

He lived a long life for 'being insade'    :p

Bending Unit
« #5 : 03-31-2006 07:58 »
« : 03-31-2006 07:58 »

Oskaar Blernski (2231-2278)

Oskaar Blernski worked for the Department Of Xenosports in NeoAlbany, New New York. He was called upon to create a sport that would intrest the non-virtual-sport-hating masses. 48 hours later, he returned, with the outline for the game of Blernsball written on the back of a beer mat. The first official game of Blernsball was played in 2275. The rules have changed alot scince the early days of Blernsball. In 2352 the DOXS omitted the rule that all Blernsball Cheerleaders are to be topless.

Bending Unit
« #6 : 04-04-2006 12:56 »

Gunther Robards (2964-3027)

'I scoff at your puny laws of spatial dynamics! Scoff I say!'

-Gunther Robards

Gunther Robards was a lecturer at Mars Univercity. While on a holiday in Mexico, he became facinated with the black arts. In 2989, using a bizarre combination of science and vodoo magic, Gunther created the Dementional Distortion Field Generator, which revolutised the starship industry.

Bending Unit
« #7 : 04-27-2006 10:14 »

How do you know if a frenchman has been in you're home?
You're fridge is empty and you're dog's pregnant.
 Man i love that one   :laff:

Bending Unit
« #8 : 05-25-2006 13:03 »
« : 05-25-2006 13:03 »

'....Indeed one of the most historic cases in recent history or Android/Human relations is The San Francisco Police Department Vs Harvey Bennet case of 2256. The court heard that Harvey, an android, was arrested for underage driving. The police caught him driving his masters gravshuttle well over the 300mph speed limit in that area. The SFPD stated that the should arrest him for underage driving as well as for speeding, as he was costructed the previous year. The World Judicary Court heard that:

'....Even factoring into account the intellect of the accused, the fact remains that, chronalogically and legally speaking, he was breaking the law.' Karl Montgomery-defence lawyer for the SFPD

Despite this, the court decreed that the Harvey should only be fined for speeding, and that his intellect means that he is able enough to handle a gravshuttle. [even one built in Mexico]shortly thereafter, the Sentients Rights Act of 2094 was amended to state the following:



This is refeered to by many historians as the Harvey Ammendment.'

-Asimov Realised by Eugene Lampard[First Published In 2290 By Deux Exe Books]


Delivery Boy
« #9 : 05-26-2006 07:29 »

Boring much who cares about 2914? it's not real

Urban Legend
« #10 : 05-26-2006 21:28 »

Actually, this is some of Yardstick's more intelligent material, and I'm sorry I'm only seeing it now.  Clever.

DOOP Secretary
« #11 : 05-27-2006 02:38 »

Continue, continue!


Bending Unit
« #12 : 06-12-2006 06:04 »

Documentary film maker and journalist Vanzo Jones was born on the 15 April 2258. To a human father and a Bloogian mother.
Having a mother who was an alien made growing up for young Vanzo very hard. 'I was the victim of a lot of bullying.'
 says Jones, 32 'Growing up in 2270's Albany was very hard. The kids would call me 'Vodoo Vanzo' because of my psychic
 abilities that I had inherited from my mother.''This didnt change when I became a jounalist.' In 2274 Vanzo attended the
Johann Hari Academy Of Jounalisim in London. 'Among my classmates where two vehemently anti-alien critics, Dirk Lancaster
and Urqhart Lambaldi. Though the latter made the former look like Mr Rogers!' You got alot of hatemail from him didnt you?
'Oh, absolutely. I got several offensive plain text e-mails from him, the most polite of which called me a'filthy sub-human
 mutant' mY shuttlecar was set on fire, my house was covered in graffiti denouncing me as being a half-breed scum. You speak very
 calmly about it. 'Now, yeah, but at the time it was very intimidating.' I read on Wikipedea that you started becoming
 addicted to Prozak any truth to that? 'I did take Prozak, though I wouldnt say I was addicted to it.' In 2275 Vanzo was given
an intern job at the Galactic Times and the following year was given his own column. 'I sent a draft of my column to
 Duane Spitzmeyer [the editor]exspecting to get a rejection letter in return. I was suprised to find that he really liked it.'
And so, on Febuary 4 2276 the world was introduced to Vanzo's Veiw. 'I remember the first column I did, it was about the
recent failed coup on the planet Gerbzorg. I lambasted the Galactic Federation for allowing the crisis on Grebzorg to get to
 this point, this displeased many supporters of Galactic Chancellor Lewis Baxter.' Like Dirk Lancaster! 'Yes![laughes] like
Dirk Lancaster. Dirk is well known for being anti-alien, he is a member of the United Earth Project, which campaigns to have
all Earth-bound aliens to be deported back to their home planets.' He has also come to blows with you. 'Oh, that was years ago, back when we
 where in high school, he likened my father, having sex with my mother to beasteality, I responded by giving him the bums rush into a nearby
wall.' What happned next? 'He said that the next time we met, he'd kill me. That was in 2271. We met again in 2278 at the Galactic Times
centenary celebration.' What did he do? 'Ignored me.'

The Life And Times Of Vanzo Jones by Byler Quartermain Copyright 2290 Wire'd Books.

Documentaries by Vanzo Jones:

Lewis Baxter-An Idiots Guide To Galactic Polotics (2276) Soylent Films Inc

Inside The Orion Starliner Crash-Understanding The Lies (2282) Supernova Productions & Soylant Films Inc

Selling The Final Frontier (2290) Soylent Films & Plympton Media
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