Mookie's fanfic, available in manageable chunks!

[Reply #40 on:]

hi mookie 427.  I just read through your fic.  I thought it was pretty good, especially the more recent chapters.  I've gotta say though, there are a few parts of your story that seem a bit out in left field, like the whole professor-turned-gangster thing and the bit about the fish farm.  I'm looking forward to seeing what happens though, especially since i had a very similiar idea for a fiction but keep putting it off because I haven't figured out how to handle having Bender and Leela out in the open in the 21st century.  Wow that was an awful run-on sentence.

[Reply #41 on:]

So far so good.  It would be nice if the Professor would come up with some Star Trek type of explanation of how Bender amazingly appeared not only at the right time period, but magicaly fell in front of the PE crew's car instead of appearing in NYC where the PE crew appeared.

Just a few things like that - a little Professor mumbo-jumbo talk could make it work.

Now, it will be interesting to see how Fry's parents react to Leela:  Will Yancy Sr. think that she's a 'Kremlin Joe' experiment?  Will mama Fry even notice Leela's eye (depends on if there's a good game on ESPN).  Will this be after Yancy, Jr.'s child Phillip Fry is born?  (Remember, to stay in canon, Phillip J. Fry disappeared and Yancy named his son in honor of his brother).

[Reply #42 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ralph Snart:
Now, it will be interesting to see how Fry's parents react to Leela:  Will Yancy Sr. think that she's a 'Kremlin Joe' experiment?  Will mama Fry even notice Leela's eye (depends on if there's a good game on ESPN).  Will this be after Yancy, Jr.'s child Phillip Fry is born?  (Remember, to stay in canon, Phillip J. Fry disappeared and Yancy named his son in honor of his brother).

Dammit, he's on to you Mookie.

[Reply #43 on:]

oh, just wait and see....you'll be pleasantly surprised.....

[Reply #44 on:]

sorry about my double posting, it's just i think that a new chapter deserves a new post - feel free to slap me on my wrists if i'm wrong, though 

and here is the second part of chapter 7:

Cut back to Professor Farnsworth and the rest of the Planet Express crew. They are still at the fish farm.

AMY: Gleesh! We’ve been here for hours! What’s taking Bender so long?

BENDER: Hey, lady. I’m a Bender, not a mechanic, like Malfunctioning Eddie. I bend girders and occasionally people. Like I said, I’m no mechanic. There, done. (The car’s engine begins rumbling into life)

HERMES: What in Jah’s name did you do to it, Bender?

BENDER: Well, it was a complicated process. You see, first, I had to get into the car. Second, I had to turn the key in the ignition. (In a Cockney accent) It was bleedin’ ‘ard work, guv!

AMY: Glaah! We’ve been sitting here for hours!

BENDER: So?

AMY: What took you so long?

BENDER: (In a posh English voice) I told you, it was bleeding exhausting. Butler, fetch my wad. (He points Hermes towards his own wallet.) Hurry, as they say, time makes fools of us all!

HERMES: No they don’t!

PROFESSOR: Is it me, or are we all ready to go? I hear a strange low rumbling that wasn’t here a second ago.

HERMES: And, stranger than the professors hearing impediments, where’ve de owners of dis joint gone?

ZOIDBERG: I distracted them! Like this! (Zoidberg proceeds to do an elaborate dancing display, snapping his claws violently) And THAT is how ZOIDBERG outwitted them!

AMY: Yeah, but where’d they go?

ZOIDBERG: I have no idea…

Cut to show Marv slowly and desperately trying to eat some of the fish. Mary has mutated horribly, and so has consequently died. She has gills, and is surrounded by fish and babies.

PROFESSOR: Lets go already! My feet have lost all feeling…not that they had feelings before…that would be silly, oh my, yes.

They all climb into the car, and Amy drives off.

AMY: So, we know where they’ve gone, but does anyone actually know where they’ve gone?

All mutter.

HERMES: We’ve come to a group decision, and we can safely say we haven’t the faintest clue where they have gone….

AMY: We could ask the peasants in the towns. What do you think, Farnsworth?

FARNSWORTH: Eh? We need to get to this ‘New’ Mexico first, and then ask the peasants where they’ve gone!

BENDER: (Hugging himself) I’m finally gonna meet my parents.

AMY; Robots have fathers as well as mothers?

BENDER: Well yeah, but how I was made is not important, it’s just-

AMY: Clool! Explain how you’re made, go on, Bender, keep us mildly entertained.

BENDER: Ok, if you want me to. You see, it’s a simple process really. We robots, when we get, as you fleshbags may put it, ‘broody’, we simply share our programming.

PROFESSOR: Like humans with chromosomes!

BENDER: Yeah yeah, whatever. Your science can’t prove everything.

PROFESSOR: But you see, it can!

BENDER: No it can’t! I believe I was telling a story?

PROFESSOR: You were? I wasn’t listening. Carry on.

BENDER: Anyway, as I was saying, it was just like what happened when me and the Planet Express ship were dating.

The car continues to drive through the middle of a barren desert.

PROFESSOR: (Peering out of the window) I sure hope we find them soon.

They pass a sign, ‘New Mexico 112 miles’.

Fade to black.

[Reply #45 on:]

Blimey, I got a bit confused with the "how Bender got made" bit.

Did you edit that bit? I don't remember it being like that.

And THAT is how ZOIDBERG outwitted them

[Reply #46 on:]

yeah, i edited it from the original, it was made up on the spot, and was designd to be confusing

[Reply #47 on:]

chapter 8:

VIII

Cut back to Fry and Leela. The taxi they are in pulls down Fry’s parents street.

FRY: Drop us off here, would you?

DRIVER: Yeah, sure. (The taxi stops) That’ll be $23 please. Have a nice evening.

There is a pause, and Fry and Leela get out of the taxi. The taxi speeds off. The camera zooms out to show a very dilapidated dusty street, with warehouses and a few houses on it.

LEELA: From what I can see, it sure is a dump!

FRY: Yeah...well, at least we’ve found where they live.

LEELA: What number is it?

FRY: (Glancing at the bit of paper) Number 18, so it should be just down here.

They walk along the street, hand in hand. The buildings gradually get more and more dilapidated and spaced out.

LEELA: So, what are going to say to them? You can’t just knock on the door and say ‘hi’, can you. I mean, to them, you’ve been gone six years. Come to think of it, you must be pretty scared.

FRY: I’m not scared of the introduction, I’m scared about what they’ll think when they see you.

LEELA: Why? What could they possibly have against me?

FRY: Well, not to be rude, but you are a Cyclops, for a start. I don’t think my folks would approve of a Cyclops. In 1999 they were paranoid about a nuclear war that never actually happened.

LEELA: Actually it did happen, but in 2012. I learnt about it in my history class.

FRY: Oh...moving on, a few tips about ancient English, before we get there. Urectum is still called Uranus, we say ‘ask’ instead of ‘axe’, and the tooth fairy, aliens and mutants aren’t real. Come to think of it, you should try saying ‘ask’. See if you can say it.

LEELA: If you insist...aks...ass...God! it feels so unnatural!

FRY: Keep trying! You can do it!

LEELA: As..k..ak...ask! I did it! I said ass!

FRY: Huzzah! A success! (Looking at the street numbers) Hey, we’re nearly there now. That last one was 14, only a few to go!

They continue down the dusty road, hand in hand.

FRY: (Looking at the house numbers) 15, 16…….17…….There isn’t an 18! What gives?

There is the sound of an engine coming the opposite way down the road.

LEELA: This man might be able to help us.

A man rides pat on a motorbike.

FRY: Hey! Hey can you help us?

The man stops the motorbike, and gets off. He walks to them.

MAN: How can I help/ you two lost or something? You sure look it.

FRY: Nah, I was kind of hoping you could tell us what happened to number 18, it should be here, but it isn’t.

MAN: Oh, you mean number 18?

FRY: It’s what I just said…

MAN: It’s a couple of miles up the road from here. Damn occupants are filthy rich; own every single building on this street. They never submitted plans to get the buildings fixed, that’s how uptight they are. They just left them to rot. Oh well, I must get going. See ya!

LEELA: No, wait! Can’t we use your phone to get a taxi? I mean, you can’t just leave us here, all alone, can you?

MAN: Well, I suppose I should. It’d be thoughtless of me to leave two young people alone on a night like this. (He gives the phone to Fry)

Cut back to Professor Farnsworth, Zoidberg, Amy, Hermes and Bender. They are still driving through the desert. They pass a sign, ‘New Mexico 77 miles.’

AMY: Glaah! We’ll never find them and save the universe now!

All mutter, worriedly.

PROFESSOR: 77 miles, that equates to about an hour and a half of driving.

HERMES: But even if we get there, we still won’t know where they are, or even if they’ve been kidnapped. (He shudders)

BENDER: Or burned.

HERMES: Or force-fed household objects.

HERMES+BENDER: Either way, we’re doomed!

PROFESSOR: Calm down, you fat sacks of assorted gooeyness!

BENDER: Hey, I’m not gooey! I’m metal. 90% metal, if you want to be exact.

PROFESSOR: Yes yes yes, that’s not important. As I was saying, everything will be okay, just relax.

ZOIDBERG: But how will we get back to the future?

PROFESSOR: We’ll figure that out when we find Fry and Leela. But we need to get back-

AMY: Before noon tomorrow, otherwise Earth will be destroyed.

PROFESSOR: How do you know that?

AMY: You told us!

PROFESSOR: Who said I did what? You can’t prove anything! (Shouting) I’m INNOCENT! INNOCENT I TELL YOU! I’m bored; I’m going to sleep. Someone wake me when we’re all dead.

Hermes shrugs.

BENDER: Is it just me, or is it getting warmer in here? (He checks a thermometer on his side) Nope, it’s just me.

Caption ‘2 minutes later’

AMY: God, it’s so hot! I’ll open a window (She opens a window) Gleesh! It’s so hot!

ZOIDBERG: I’m boiling in my own shell I am!

Time lapse. Everyone in the car is now sitting in their underwear. Zoidberg has shedded his shell, Bender has shades on.

HERMES: Oh mon, that’s so much better!

PROFESSOR: Luckily for you all, you don’t have any dignity left. (He holds up a rack of syringes, each marked with the word ‘Dignity’ and a crewmembers name.)

AMY: Lets just relax in this sauna-like heat for the last hour of this drive.

Fade to black.

[Reply #48 on:]

Lol. I like this! I'm really happy to read this!

[Reply #49 on:]

chapter nine, and Fry finally meets his parents 

IX

Cut back to Fry and Leela. They climb out of the taxi, hand the driver some money, and walk into the grounds of a gigantic mansion.

FRY: Wow, whoever knew my parents could strike so lucky?

LEELA: Their house certainly beats our apartment.

They walk up to the front door.

FRY: (Taking a deep breath) Here goes. (He knocks on the door)

The door opens.

FRY: Err…..hi.

YANCY Snr: Oh dear lord! Fry! Oh my God! Is it really you?

FRY: Yes!

YANCY Snr: C’mon, come inside! Hey darling! Fry’s at the door with some commie girl!

LEELA: (Protesting) I’m no commie!

They walk inside. Fry and his parents embrace emotionally. Leela looks on.

MRS. FRY: Fry! My darling! Where’ve you been?

YANCY Snr: And who’s the bird? Picked yourself a winner have you? I always knew you would!

FRY: Yep, sure did! Leela, meet my dad, and my mum. (Looking around) Hey, where’s she gone?

YANCY Snr: Oh, it’s the Superbowl; she gets sort of ‘involved’ with it. (Turning to Leela) Say, you have a beautiful face.

LEELA: Thanks.

YANCY Snr: And possibly the most beautiful pair of (Leela removes her sunglasses) eye…. (He gasps) She’s…she’s a…a Cyclops! What on Earth did the commies do to you?

LEELA: They didn’t do anything to me!

FRY: Yeah, dad, she’s the only Cyclops in the entire universe.

YANCY Snr: Oh yeah, and how would you know that?

FRY:I think we should all sit down, while I explain this.

Cut to a very expensively furnished sitting room. There is a wide screen TV playing the Superbowl in one corner, an aquarium, and various other expensive things. Fry, Leela, Yancy Snr, and Mrs. Fry are sitting on a big sofa.

YANCY Snr: So then, Philip, fill us in on the past six years.

FRY: Well, you remember I disappeared on New Years Eve 1999?

MRS. FRY: (Paying little attention) Yep….Touchdown!

FRY: I had to go on a delivery to a cryogenics lab, see, but it turned out to be a crank call. Then, I accidentally fell into one of the freezers. I was frozen for a thousand years and I unfroze on December 31st 2999!

Cut to show Yancy Snr scratching his chin, unsure whether to believe what his son was saying.

YANCY Snr: But it’s only been six years! I thought you said you froze for a thousand years!

FRY: Ah, you see, my employer, who’s also my great times 30 nephew, destabilised the space time continuum, so we got sucked back in time to 2006! He’s an inventor, and one of his crazy experiments went terribly wrong.

MRS. FRY: Yes yes, great story, son. (She is still engrossed in the Superbowl, and not paying much attention) Publish it, and make a million, like we did.

FRY: How did you two get so rich, anyway, I mean, we were living in a dump before.

YANCY Snr: That’s all thanks to your brother Yancy, Philip! He won the lottery! Seven times! In a row!

MRS. FRY: He gave us a million dollars, so we bought this street in New Mexico, and built a giant house with the remaining $900,000.

FRY: Wow…whoever could’ve thought that your lives could turn around that easily.

YANCY Snr: And what about you, little lady? Commies get ya? That’s what’s wrong with your face, is it?

Leela looks hurt.

FRY: (Whispering to Leela) It’s just his way with women, don’t worry. (To the his parents) Leela and me are going for a look around.

MRS. FRY: We moved all your stuff to a room, second floor on the left!

Fry and Leela walk out of the room. Leela hugs Fry.

LEELA: They hate me!

FRY: No they don’t! Of course they don’t hate you! It’s just, my fathers always been that way with new people, especially women. Really, don’t worry about it.

Fry and Leela walk off, with their arms around each other.

Cut back to the car travelling through the desert. It passes a sign ‘New Mexico 25 miles’. Farnsworth. Amy, Hermes and Zoidberg are still almost naked.

PROFESSOR: Come on! It’s already 7.30PM! We’ve got a world to save, we’re not going to a supermarket! Can’t this thing go any faster?

AMY: I’m trying, I’m trying! (The car eases up to 70MPH)

BENDER: Well keep trying! You heard the professor! We’ve got a world to save!

HERMES: Since when did you give a stuff about the world?

BENDER: I love and care for all living creatures on this planet, big or small, alive or dead.

PROFESSOR: Egads! He’s sick! Where’s a doctor when you need one?

ZOIDBERG: I’m a doctor!

PROFESSOR: I meant a good doctor!

ZOIDBERG: Aww…

PROFESSOR: But you’ll have to do, what do you suspect is the problem?

ZOIDBERG: Since we’ve been travelling all day, he’s obviously not had the required amount of alcohol to function properly. Luckily I keep a spare keg with me at all times. Bender! Drink! You need it!

BENDER: Say what, old man? I thought I told you….you….(He falls asleep)

PROFESSOR: Quick! Or the damage might be irreversible!

BENDER: (Waking up) Eh, what? (Drinking, and looking at the Professor) Good God are you still alive? What is this world coming to?

The car passes a sign ‘New Mexico Border 18 miles’.

BENDER: Come on woman! Faster! You could hold up a robot funeral at this rate!

Amy eases the car up to 95MPH, and there is a clunk, accompanied by a lot of grinding sounds from the engine bay. The car slowly rolls to a stop, smoking heavily.

BENDER: (Everyone is glaring at him) I accept no responsibility for what comes out of my mouth…err...friends.

PROFESSOR: Oh great, now we’ll die here, and the world will end as well.

HERMES: Not so fast, professor, I know how we can get to New Mexico! We’ll need Benders help, though.

Fade to black. Time lapse.

Fade from black. The car is moving at a great speed, with Bender in the engine bay, powering the car with his feet.

BENDER: I…hate…you…Hermes!

Fade to black.

[Reply #50 on:]

it's good, but why is everyone acting like they're pressed for time?  They have a thousand years to save the world

[Reply #51 on:]

You'll find out, you'll find out......there's a very good reason, and explanation, as to why...

[Reply #52 on:]

Gak, my suspense gland.

[Reply #53 on:]

good news everyone! as i've finished many many pieces of coursework, i have finally started typing the next chapter!

[Reply #54 on:]

New chapter, New post!

X

Cut back to Fry’s parent’s house. Fry and Leela enter the room with all of Fry’s stuff in from 1999. There is a mattress, shelves of books, videocassettes and a hi-fi piled in a corner of a massive room.

FRY: (Staring at the room) Whoaaaa…………..(His mouth drops open)

The camera pans to reveal that the room also contains a giant TV, and a four-poster bed. There are numerous sofas and unidentifiable objects hidden under sheets.

LEELA: This is…Impressive…(She takes off her boots, and flops down on the bed)

FRY: (Walking to a plugged in fridge) Hey! There’s food in here! And champagne, too! (He pulls a bottle from the fridge, pops the cork, and walks back over to Leela) To us!

Fry takes a glug of champagne from the bottle. Leela puts her arms around him and rests her head on his shoulder.

FRY: (Wiping his mouth) After what I’ve seen here, I’m not sure I even want to go back to the future.

LEELA: (Sighing) I would agree, but…

FRY: But what?

LEELA: It’s just that think about it. If we stay here, sure, we’ll live like royalty for the rest of our lives, but we’ll leave behind us our friends, and all the stuff you thought was cool from the future. I’ll almost never be able to leave the house, in case someone else finds out I’m a Cyclops. The world at this point in time wasn’t really very renowned for it’s universal acceptance. Plus, in six years time, there will be a nuclear war.

FRY: I get it…it wouldn’t be a very good life for you, then?

Leela shakes her head. She takes a swig from the bottle, gets up, locks the door, and walks over to the bathroom.

FRY: Where’re you going?

LEELA: I’m going to slip into something, a bit more comfortable.

FRY: But you don’t have-

Leela walks over to Fry.

LEELA: I know

She places her finger on his lips, and walks into the bathroom.

Fade to black.

Fade from black.

Cut back to Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Amy, Hermes and Zoidberg. The car pulls up outside a service station just inside the border of New Mexico.

PROFESSOR: By Hercules! I’ve got it!

AMY: Got what?

PROFESSOR: I know how we can locate Fry and Leela!

AMY: How?

PROFESSOR: Well, Leela is still wearing her wrist computer, and that contains a GPS chip, so, as this car has a GPS computer, if we fiddle with the wiring, we can input the data from her one into this. Thus, it’ll find it. Luckily, I keep a spare one with me at all times, in case I need to quickly assign a new captain.

Farnsworth taps the GPS screen, unscrews the spare wrist computer’s cover and connects them together.

PROFESSOR: Done! They’re not far from here, now.

BENDER: (From outside) Do I have to do this anymore? I’m running on stumps!

PROFESSOR: It’s only a few more miles now, Bender, keep it up!

The car starts up again.

PROFESSOR: Left here………right here, ooh no, left here! 2nd left here, Bender! Keep straight on for a couple of miles and we are there!

BENDER: (In between gasps of air) Good Lord…..

AMY: (Looking up at Fry’s parent’s house) Nice……….

PROFESSOR: It’s already 10PM! We don’t have much time.

Everyone piles out of the car and runs up the long winding path towards Fry’s parent’s house. They ring the bell, there are clunking noises from behind the door, and it swings open.

PROFESSOR: Hello? We’re looking for a ‘Fry’. Is he here?

YANCY Snr: A Fry, eh? I’m ‘A Fry’, nice to meet you.

PROFESSOR: Good God you’ve aged! You were but a mere 25 year old when I last laid my eyes on you! You now look like a shrivelled, testosterone filled pug!

YANCY Snr: Oh…If you are after a younger ‘Fry’ then he is inside. Follow me.

The crew follow Yancy Snr inside, but Zoidberg gets the door slammed in his face. He squeaks, and sits down on the ground.

ZOIDBERG: Aww…

Cut to inside the house. Yancy Snr and the crew walk into one of the many living rooms. Mrs. Fry is watching a Superbowl rerun.

YANCY Snr: Darlin’, some friends of Philip’s just arrived. Any ideas where he is?

MRS. FRY: Nope, you go look for him. Touchdown!

PROFESSOR: Say, ‘Mr. Fry’.

YANCY Snr: Call me Yancy.

PROFESSOR: Yes yes whatever. Aren’t you the least bit alarmed by our presence?

YANCY Snr: No not at all, no.

PROFESSOR: Not even by the presence of the robot there?

Bender waves.

BENDER: What up?

YANCY Snr: Well, after years of possible communist threat, I got used to the fact that robots may be a common sight in the not too distant future.

PROFESSOR: I see.

YANCY Snr: Say, can that robot perform basic tasks? I mean, can he, you know, help around the house, with cleaning and such?

BENDER: Like hell I would! You won’t catch Bender helping anybody!

YANCY Snr: Your name’s Bender is it?

BENDER: Well obviously. I’m a Bender. Watch this.

Bender picks up a large and expensive glass and metal table, smashes the glass, and bends the metal into the shape of a dog.

YANCY Snr: Well I’ll be…

PROFESSOR: Enough mindless chitchat! We need to find Fry and Leela! Fan out and search the house.

YANCY Snr: We could just-

PROFESSOR: (Getting angry) We don’t want you to tell us where he’s not! We’re gonna find him ourselves! Split up, gang.

YANCY: But…but…

The crew walk through a large set of double doors, and separate. Bender heads off towards the bedrooms, Amy heads off towards the conservatory, and the Professor and Hermes go towards the attic. Cut to Bender. He is walking down a hallway. He enters a bedroom.

BENDER: Oh ho ho! (His eyes extend. The camera pans to reveal a huge bedroom. There is expensive jewellery on the bedside tables) Jackpot!

Bender walks around the room, examining pieces of gold, and putting them in his chest. He walks out the room calmly, clunking loudly.

Cut to Amy, she enters the glass conservatory.

AMY: Wow, 996-year-old ‘Elle’ Magazine? Cool! Too bad Fry and Leela aren’t in here…oh well; I’ll just have a quick read. (She opens the magazine)

Cut to the Professor and Hermes. They are climbing a steep set of stairs, and Hermes is out of breath.

PROFESSOR: C’mon, Hermes! You were an Olympic athlete, yet you can’t even carry a 160-year-old man up some stairs?

Pan out to reveal the professor cradled in Hermes’s arms.

HERMES: I can’t go any faster, mon! I’m not as fit as I was. Plus, these trousers are chafing badly!

PROFESSOR: It’s always excuses with you, isn’t it? I ask you to carry me up some stairs, but you say you are diagnosed with a rare back weakness!

HERMES: But it’s true!

PROFESSOR: WHAT!?! No one touches anyone’s organs or body parts without my prior permission! I’ll have to give this ‘doctor’ of yours a stern talking to when I get out of your clutches.

HERMES: Err, Professor, would you mind getting out of my arms, now, as we have reached the attic.

PROFESSOR: Never! It’s actually quite comfy in here. I might even move in. Oh my, yes!

Hermes sighs, and heaves the Professor onto the floor.

PROFESSOR: You can’t evict me!

HERMES: Well, technically I can. Firstly, you were squatting in my arms without my permission, and secondly, you never paid any rent towards the owners of these arms, that’d be me, so I can legally evict you.

PROFESSOR: Screw the system! Lets have a look around, see if we can find Fry and Leela’s dismembered bodies in refuse sacks somewhere.

HERMES: You’re saying that Fry’s parents killed ‘em?

PROFESSOR: Most probably, yes, although I do tend to babble every now and then…

Hermes slaps his head.

Fade to black

[Reply #55 on:]

*Bump*

SUPER MEGA DUPER EXTREME POST!

here is THE REST of my fan fic.

XI

Cut back to Fry and Leela. The room is pitch black, and there is a faint clunking sound in the distance. Fry turns the light on.

FRY: Eh? Wassat? What time is it? (He looks at the clock) 2.30AM? Oh man.

LEELA: (Groggily) Wha? What is it? (Alert) And what’s that sound? (The clunking gets louder, and she turns on a light.)

FRY: Probably just…some……zzzz….zzzz (He falls back to sleep)

Leela shrugs, and rolls over to hug Fry. She reaches over Fry, and turns off the light. The door is suddenly flung open, and light from the hallway floods in.

BENDER: Aha! (His eyes extend out of their sockets) Oh ho ho! What’s all this then?

LEELA: (Waking up) Gah! Bender! (She pulls the covers up)

FRY: (Slightly awake) Say what? Oh hi, Bender, what’re you doing…here…at this hour? (He falls back to sleep)

LEELA: Fry! Wake up! (She shoves him, and he wakes up) Bender, we can explain!

BENDER: Oh yeah? That I’d pay to hear, with these ears, which I matter-of-factly don’t have.

LEELA: No really, we can.

BENDER: Listening.

LEELA: Well you see, me and Fry, we-

BENDER: Boring! I’ve lost what little attention I first had. I’m gonna tell the others that you’re both okay.

FRY: You mean, they’re all here?

BENDER: Yep, every last one of them. Except Scruffy. I don’t think he was with us….we chased across the whole country after you. We would’ve left you, but the professor said we needed to find you, because the world’s gonna end or something. He needed you urgently, anyway.

LEELA: The world’s going to end?

FRY: Or something? Good God that could be anything! Quick! To the future we must go!

LEELA: We need to get dressed first; we can’t go back into the future naked. (Bender begins to whistle, with his hands behind his back) Do you mind? (Bender backs slowly out of the door, and slams it. He quickly re-opens it, but slams it again)

Cut to the living room. The Planet Express crew minus Fry and Leela are sitting on an array of chairs and sofas.

BENDER:…So then I walked in on them, and guess what? They were naked as the day they were built! Something’s definitely been going on between those two lately.

AMY: Like spluh! Haven’t you noticed?

BENDER: No. Fry has been acting stranger recently, though. Perhaps he’s got a girlfriend, or he’s got involved in a military coup.

Amy slaps her head. Fry and Leela walk in.

AMY: Fry! Leela! (Seductively) Have a good time last night?

FRY: Well let’s just say we know a lot more about each other than we did before…

HERMES: I ‘ope you are ‘appy with yourselves! W had to chase across the whole country after you, and at great expense, too. But I’m pleased to announce all of said expenses will be coming out of your wages, especially Zoidberg’s.

FRY: Hooray!

PROFESSOR: Enough chat! We need to get back to the future pronto! It’s already 4.30AM, if we don’t, the-

BENDER: World will be destroyed, yatta yatta yatta come on lets go.

They walk out of the front door, shaking hands with Yancy Snr on the way out.

YANCY Snr: See ya! You be careful of them commies now, Fry.

FRY: I will, dad. (Turning to the Professor, as they walk down the drive) So Professor, how exactly are we going to get back to the future? I mean, people living in my age were so stupid they couldn’t even invent a…wait! I’ve got it!

BENDER: Well why don’t you just not tell us already! We’re screwed any way you look at it. That’ll be a great help, idiot!

PROFESSOR: Wha? I mean, wha? The idiots had an idea? C’mon then, mister genius, tell us your big plan, then we can all poopoo it as crazy and impossible, like what all of my ideas turn out to be.

FRY: I was thinking-

Bender slaps Fry.

BENDER: Stop! Thinking leads you down the road to morality, and from morality to somewhere worse. Do you want to become moral? Do you? DO YOU?

PROFESSOR: Calm down, Bender; let the ‘genius’ speak.

FRY: Well, as I was saying, I was thinking-

BENDER: (Being held back by everybody) When I get my hands on you! (He shakes a fist)

FRY: That, as I froze myself into the future, couldn’t we all do the same thing? Just freeze ourselves for 996 years, and then go on to save the world?

Everyone bursts out laughing, hysterically.

PROFESSOR: Oh my! That’s the most preposterous load of ninnycannon I’ve heard for a long time! (He stops laughing) Yet it just might work.

BENDER: And this guy calls himself a genius! (His laugh falters) Oh wait, he is. Ah crap!

HERMES: Well I’m certainly in favour. I wouldn’t say no to a 996 year sleep.

AMY: All we need now is to find a cryogenics lab that will let us use its chambers.
 
BENDER: I think we may have passed one on the way up here, I’ll check my memory.

Time lapse. Cut to the Planet Express crew standing inside a strip club, called ‘Erotogenics’

HERMES: Dis is no cryogenics lab! You tricked us! Dis is just a lame excuse to get mildly turned on!

PROFESSOR: Now now, calm down Hermes. (He wipes his glasses) WHAT THE!?! We’re in a gentleman’s club! Why you…

BENDER: I…I…I can explain. Honestly! I think I have a virus.

Amy walks up to the professor, with a man following her.

AMY: Err…John and me are going to go to the car for ‘coffee’.

PROFESSOR: You most certainly are not! (To John) Go back to your hole, creep!

JOHN: You starting on me?

PROFESSOR: I most certainly am! Lets take this outside.

JOHN: Feh. Like you could ever beat me up. Later, Amy!

AMY: But…John…coffee…Professor, you blew my only chance to get together with a boy from the stupid ages.

Fry coughs, reminiscing about the time he and Amy went out together.

PROFESSOR: Bullcoddle! We need to get back to the future, not hang around in exotic bars! C’mon, crew!

Professor Farnsworth follows the crew out very slowly.

Cut to a real cryogenics lab. They enter through the automatic doors.

BENDER: Neat! (He takes a picture)

FRY: Bender, we have those in the future.

BENDER: No we don’t.

FRY: Yes we do.

BENDER: No we don’t.

FRY: Yes we do.

BENDER: Yes we do.

FRY: No we don’t.

BENDER: Ha! I win! In your face!

LEELA: Okay you two, what did I tell you before?

FRY+BENDER: No pointless arguments that end in Bender winning, insulting, and or injuring Fry.

LEELA: That’s right. Now, if we are going to freeze ourselves, there’ll be no fighting over who gets the best tube. You hear me?

FRY: Yes. (Whispering) I call best tube.

BENDER: Aww crap!

The crew enter one of the tube rooms. All the lights are off, and there is a faint sound of a vacuum cleaner in the background. The room is full of empty tubes.

PROFESSOR: Bingo! Now Bender, you will need to set everyone’s tubes once they are inside, then set your own. You’ll manage it somehow, you’re a robot, and robots can do anything…I think.

Everyone climbs into a tube. Fry and Leela kiss, and climb into separate tubes. Bender walks around the room, setting the tubes to 996 years. He detaches an arm, and climbs into the tube. The arm sets the tube to 996 years, and drops on the floor.

Fade to Black


XII

Caption: ‘996 Years in the future…’

There is a soft click. Fry steps out of his tube, and yawns. Leela and the rest of the crew closely follow him.

FRY: Ah, it’s good to be home.

BENDER: Back to the days of robot porno, aliens and beer that’s actually alcoholic.

PROFESSOR: We still need to get back to New New York and save the world, though!

AMY: But how will we get back?

PROFESSOR: I don’t know! I’m not that clever!

They walk past a hover-bus stop.

FRY: Hey, there’s a bus that goes to New New York. We could always catch it.

PROFESSOR: Catch a bus? But that’s a sign of your social status as bums with little or no wages!

LEELA: Well that settles it then. When’s it due?

FRY: (Looking at the timetable) About…five minutes ago.

BENDER: Well that’s crap!

LEELA: When’s the next one?

FRY: In about five hours.

PROFESSOR: Five hours? Dear lord we don’t have five hours! Well we’ve got five and a half to be exact, but that’ll leave no time to save the Earth!

ZOIDBERG: If only there was some other way, like that. (He points towards a bus coming along the road)

FRY: Well whaddaya know? It’s early!

The bus pulls up at the bus stop, and the crew get on.

SAL: (Driving the bus away from the bus stop) Wheres youse guys going to?

PROFESSOR: New New York, and step on it!

SAL: Okays, but I’s makes no promises about stepping on New New Yorks.

Time lapse. Cut to New New York. The bus pulls up outside the Planet Express building.

PROFESSOR: C’mon, crew, no time to waste. (To Sal) Sorry about the mess back there, you know what it’s like with lobsters, when they see food.

SAL: No’s, I can’t says I do.

PROFESSOR: Just send the bill to my employees. Toodlepip!

The crew enter the Planet Express building.

FRY: Ah, it’s good to be back at work. (He sits down in front of the TV with a beer.)

BENDER: I’ll drink to that! (He gets a beer out of his chest)

HERMES: Fry, Bender! (He pulls the TV off the wall, and throws it out of the window)

FRY: Hey!

BENDER: Meh, he’ll pay for it.

HERMES: The professor needs you.

BENDER: Why?

HERMES: To save the world, you empty headed fools! Get over to him NOW.

BENDER: Aww man, he always counts on us to save the world. (The walk out of the room, mumbling)

Cut to the launch bay. The huge crate is winched into the hold.

Time lapse. Cut to Planet Express ship in mid-flight. The professor is on the Overhead TV, and Leela is talking to him.

LEELA: Professor, do you even know what is in the box? Because we can’t figure it out. Why would the Omicronians want a ransom, when they haven’t even committed any crimes?

PROFESSOR: All I know is that some shifty looking government agents gave it to me. They said to never open it, or the Omicronians would be, and I quote ‘On our asses ‘like a ton of bricks’’. So don’t any of you even think about touching that- (He is cut off by a beeping sound)

LEELA: Sorry Professor, I’m gonna have to take this. (She presses a button on the screen, and Fry appears.)

FRY: Leela! We, uh, well, me, err, Bender opened the box! You won’t believe what is inside!

LEELA: Oh lord. Professor, are you still there?

PROFESSOR: (O/S) That’s it, Hermes, a little lower. (There is a splat) Ooh that got it!

LEELA: Professor!

PROFESSOR: (Appearing on the screen) Say what?

LEELA: What on Earth were you doing with Hermes?

PROFESSOR: Hermes was just helping me get rid of a particularly nasty boil on my back.

HERMES: (O/S) I don’ know why I help him!

LEELA: That’s quite enough about your back. Fry and Bender opened the box.

PROFESSOR: WHAT!?!

LEELA: They say that there is something amazing in it – I’m going to go and check up on them, see if they are okay.

Cut to Bender and Fry. They are stacking crates along the centre of the hold. Caption ‘Simultaneously’.

FRY: Why are we doing this, exactly?

BENDER: I have no idea. Lets do something else.

FRY: Like what?

Caption ‘One minute later’.

BENDER: I know, lets make a wall out of these crates!

FRY: Sounds like fun.

BENDER: (Stacking crates) So what exactly IS going on between you and Leela? Don’t skimp on the juicy bits.

FRY: Well, It all started when…

Caption ‘Five minutes later’.

BENDER:…And THAT’S how I got banned from Jupiter!

FRY: Hey, what about my story?

BENDER: Yeah, well, it got lost somewhere along the way.

Leela suddenly runs in.

FRY: Leela, hi! We were just talking about you, I think.

LEELA: (Ignoring them both) Alright! What was in the box? And why are all these crates stacked along the centre of the hold?

FRY: Well, we opened the box, and were so shocked by what was inside, we built a wall do defend ourselves from it.

LEELA: Is it alive?

FRY: If you count alive as ticking, then yes.

LEELA: What? It’s ticking? Let me see it!

She kicks her way through the crates, and, in the middle of the hold, sits a large metal cylinder, with a digital display on the front, counting down. The display reads ’60, 59’ and so on.

LEELA: Oh no! We’ve got a minute until it explodes!

The autopilot announces an incoming transmission.

LEELA: I’ve got to get back to the cockpit. See if you two can figure out a way to disarm it. (Cut to show Bender cowering in Fry’s arms)

FRY: Y-y-yes, captain.

Leela runs back to the cockpit.

LEELA: (Picking up the phone) Hello? Now’s not a good time.

LRRR: This is Lrrr, of the planet Omicron Persei 8. You are five minutes late with our ‘package’.

Leela glances at the clock on the screen. It reads ’12:05’

LEELA: We have a very good explanation. You see…

Caption ‘Five minutes later’

LEELA: And then, they opened the box, and-

LRRR: They did WHAT? Ndnd, fetch my hand cream.

NDND: (O/S) Where is it?

LRRR: In the draw, middle I think.

NDND: Here you go. (She hands it to Lrrr) Don’t use all of it at once; you’ll get a rash.

LRRR: I know how to use hand cream, Ndnd. Anyway, (Rubbing cream into his hands) as I was saying, your friends opened the box, did they? Well, it looks like Earth might have a little meeting with our secret weapon!

LEELA; And what’s that?

LRRR: You!

LEELA: Say what?

Suddenly, Fry and Bender rush in.

FRY: Leela! We couldn’t defuse it! It counted to zero, but nothing happened! We’re not dead, are we? Please say we’re not dead.

LEELA: Of course you’re not dead.

LRRR; Nice to see your ‘friends’ have decided to join us.

BENDER: Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?

LRRR: Oh, me and your one eyed friend were just having a chat.

BENDER: About what?

LRRR; Just the fact that I’ve just turned your ship into a computer controlled nuclear missile!

All gasp.

LEELA: How the hell did you do that!?!

LRRR: You know that mysterious ‘ransom’ that you were told to deliver to us?

FRY: Yeah! It was a nuclear bomb!

LRRR: We were going to send it back, by ship, to the planet, which has single-handedly stopped us in our ultimate quest to conquer the universe!

FRY: And what planet would that be?

BENDER: Earth, bozo. (He kicks him in the shin)

FRY: Ow! Metal hurts! Why’d you do that?

BENDER: Was bored.

LRRR: DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Anyway, the ship would land on Earth, and when the crate was opened, the bomb would automatically arm. Then, we simply set it off via remote control.

LEELA: Huuuh! You are saying that we are going to crash straight into Earth? But how?

LRRR: The bomb was fitted with an autopilot override bug, which, like the name suggests, overrode the autopilot in your ship, thus enabling it to return on a collision course with Earth.

BENDER: (Shaking fists) Why I oughtta! (He throws a book, entitled ‘Stress and anger management for beginners’ at the screen, and the screen smashes and goes black.)

FRY: So, now what’re we going to do?

LEELA: Well, we can’t phone for help, seeing as Bender destroyed the phone.

BENDER: It was Fry!

LEELA: So it looks like we’re going to have to try and disable the bug ourselves.

BENDER: How’ll we do that, one eye?

LEELA: Well, Fry, you and me will try and disable it manually, and Bender….

BENDER: Don’t keep me waiting!

LEELA: I don’t know whether you will like this or not, but I want you to enter the ships computer system, see if you can destroy the bug from the inside.

BENDER: You mean merge my programming with the ship. Again?

LEELA: Exactly.

BENDER: Well okay, but on one condition. If I don’t come back, tell everyone I died mugging some old rich man.

FRY: (Patting him on the back. We will, buddy, we will.

LEELA: Now, according to this fancy computer gizmo, we have about ten minutes before impact with Earth. Lets do it, people!

FRY: So, in ten minutes, we die, right?

LEELA: Yep, then we die, along with the whole of Earth. Now lets defuse this hunk of junk!

Fade to black.


XIII

Fry and Leela run back down to the hold. Bender sits down in the cockpit, and takes a beer out of his chest. Cut to Fry and Leela. They are standing in front of the door to the hold.

AUTOPILOT: Password, please.

LEELA: That’s funny, I don’t remember there ever being a password before.

AUTOPILOT: That’s because there wasn’t one! You cannot get in! Bwahahahaha!

LEELA: That’s what you think. (She flying kicks the door, and bounces off)

AUTOPILOT: Its steel, idiot.

FRY: Hey! No one calls Leela an idiot! (He punches the door) Ow! My wrist!

LEELA: C’mon, Fry, we need to find another way in…damn, I just remembered that this IS the only way in.

FRY: We could always go back to the cockpit and try and steer the ship away from Earth.

LEELA: Fry, you’re a genius!

They run back up to the cockpit.

Cut to the cockpit. Bender is asleep, with a magazine over his eyes. Fry and Leela run in.

LEELA: Bender!

Bender does his amazing panicked scream.

LEELA: You’re supposed to be saving the world, not getting mildly aroused!

BENDER: I’m fairly sure you said I could go to sleep – let me check. (He presses a button on his side, and a tape rewinding noise comes from with in him.) Here we go.

LEELA’S VOICE: I want you to enter the autopilot’s computer system, see if you can destroy the bug from the inside.

BENDER; Well I’ll be…

LEELA: Now get inside that computer, before we all die!

BENDER: Okay, okay, I’m going.

Bender walks over to the autopilot control panel, and inserts a wire into it.

AUTOPILOT: I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. (The wire suddenly goes up in flames)

BENDER: (Dancing around the cockpit) Oh God, it’s hot…Ow god it’s hot! (He sits in a potted plant) Right, missy, time to have a meeting with BENDER! (He shoves his fist into the control panel) Oh…Yeah…(His eyelid closes)

LEELA: Lets try and steer this barge. (She turns the wheel) It’s jammed!

FRY: Here, try this. (He hands her some butter)

LEELA: Eww! Where’d you get this?

FRY: My pocket, where all the things I give people come from.

Cut to the inside of the computers system. Bender is walking around, holding a baseball bat.

BENDER: Here, buggy buggy buggy, come out come out wherever you are.

The camera pans to show a giant spider, sprawled over a large area of hard drive.

BENDER: Holy moly! (His eyes extend) It’s hammer time!

Suddenly, the spider stirs, and launches itself upwards, revealing behind it the tied up Planet Express ship icon.

BENDER: Oh God! (The spider lands right in front of Bender) Eeep!

Bender climbs onto one of the spider’s legs, and up onto it’s abdomen. The spider bucks and shakes, trying to throw Bender off. Bender strikes the bat into the back of the spider, but to no effect. Bender is thrown off, and lands on the ground some distance from the spider. It lunges towards him, and Bender strikes one of the legs with the bat. The leg breaks, and flies off, the spider recoils and lunges again. Bender jumps, and strikes the spider on the back again, but nothing happens. He clambers up onto the spider’s head, and strikes it in the eye. The spider lurches forwards erratically, and crashes into a circuit board. Bender hits another leg, and both the leg and the bat break in half. The spider staggers forwards, collapses, and skids along the ground. It rolls, throwing Bender off. He lands on the ground and kicks the spider in the abdomen, towards a jagged, sparking circuit board. The spider impales itself on the sharp edge, and explodes, in a shower of black pixels and green gunk.

BENDER: That was easy. (His arms and legs fall off)

Cut back to Fry and Leela.

LEELA: We’re getting some control of the ship back, I think Bender’s done it!

FRY: Hooray!

Cut back to Bender in the ships computer. He runs over to the Planet Express ship, and unties her.

P.E SHIP AUTOPILOT: Thanks so much! That spider was really…evil.

BENDER: No time! Must run!

Cut back to Fry and Leela.

AUTOPILOT: Full control restored, all systems go!

LEELA: Hooray! He did it!

FRY: The only thing is, the bomb is still armed. What’ll we do about that?

LEELA: I always thought that this sort of situation might eventually occur, so I took the precaution of having an ejectable cockpit installed.

FRY: So you are saying-

LEELA: Exactly! We swerve towards a passing meteorite or comet, then quickly and effectively eject, before using the pre-installed booster engines to steer our way back to Earth.

BENDER: (Coming out of the computer system) Ta da! I’m back, baby!

FRY: Well obviously…with an entrance like that you’d be stupid if nobody noticed you were back.

BENDER: Shut it, meatbag.

LEELA: You two, stop arguing! I’m about to try and pull off a very tricky manoeuvre.

Cut to outside the Planet Express ship. The ship swerves sharply to the right, and simultaneously the cockpit ejects and flies off towards Earth. The ship flies into a passing planet, and explodes, in a beautiful fireball and mushroom cloud.

FRY: I’d sure hate to be on that planet.

The cockpit turned escape pod drifts towards Earth. There is the sound of a kiss.

BENDER: Get a room, you two!

Fade to black and end credits.

And there it is. Possibly the longest FanFic I'll ever write. I hope you all enjoyed it. I currently have no idea as to whether there'll be a part three, but there is a definite possibility of there being one.


thankyou for your time 

[Reply #56 on:]

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. 

[Reply #57 on:]

aw thanks, i think i need a break from writing for a little while.......

[Reply #58 on:]

No problemo, dude. It's too cool 4 here.

[Reply #59 on:]

yeah i'm probably going to post it somewhere else, like that fan fic site, see what some other people think of it

I have got a plot for the next(!) part of it, but it will most probably be no where near as long as this one

[Reply #60 on:]

  oh how sweet  a love story (coughs not)
 :

[Reply #61 on:]

Bumped to stop Jesus crying.

Kagome, you're a wankstain on the trouser leg of society.

[Reply #62 on:]

I'm glad it's in manageable chunks because i don't whant to bite off more that i can chew.

[Reply #63 on:]

nice, retard

[Reply #64 on:]

Awsome writing skills much better than mine 

[Reply #65 on:]

Are you, by chance, schizophrenic?

you think, by bumping your post count up, you'll become better known, 'popular' even?

Or even become an 'Ubermod'?

the short answer is no.