My fan-fiction thread

[on:]

I wanted to start a fan fitcion, so i did, what im writing now is a 3-part story, with emo people and casinos. and i wil aslo do more if its popular enough. Im not that good at writing, and this took segment took me about an hour. Its short, i dont want to make long chapters, i want to use dialouge to explain whats hppening. I will not bother to write more if no one likes it.

                                                Scene 1
     The Planet Express Delivery Team was sitting at a table, celebrating their most recent delivery to Rigel 7, when Professor Farnsworth came through the door.
“Good news everyone, our team hasn’t had a death in over three years. We all get a vacation”

Zoidberg: “yay, I can finally leave this hellhole!”
Fransworth: “Shut-up, you’re not going.”
Zoidberg “I hate you; I’m going to go listen to Linkin Park. *cries and runs out the door*

Farnsworth: “Anyway” *sits at the table*, we are going to the Mr. Burns casino
Fry: “I remember Mr. Burns’s casino from a television show I used to watch”
Leela: “You mean The Simpsons, In 2042 the government re-created Springfield when the show got its 2,000th episode. But then someone created a Family Guy version and the Simpsons one went down hill. All that’s left is the casino.
 
                                            Scene 2
*On the planet express ship`, Leela is driving while other sit in passenger seats*

Fry: “what ever happened to Zoidberg?”
Amy: ‘I don’t know, he been acting very emo-ish lately.”
Hermes:Ya, you’re right, he’s also been trying to cut his wrist, but his shell is to strong. A lot of people are acting this way.
Fry: “There’s something strange going on here”

                                           Scene 2 and ½
Lrrr:  “Finally  I can take over earth with my new Emo- ray 300, if everyone is an emo, I can easily take over the earth.
Ndnd: “And what are you going to do with the earth, once you enslave everyone???
Lrrr: “…sell them.
Ndnd: “It may be cruel, but its worth it.

Yes, i know there werent any jokes, (and if you thought there was one, you are wrong) but im trying to set up a backround story, please critisize.

[Reply #1 on:]

Hehe, curse those dratted emos!

[Reply #2 on:]

 

Originally posted by TriggerHappyJim:
Hehe, curse those dratted emos!

lol, do you like it??

[Reply #3 on:]

Well, there were two scene changes in well under a minute, but otherwise it was good!

 

Originally posted by Hypnotize:
Zoidberg: “yay, I can finally leave this hellhole!”
Fransworth: “Shut-up, you’re not going.”
Zoidberg “I hate you; I’m going to go listen to Linkin Park. *cries and runs out the door*

Are you sure that isn't a joke? It sure as heck sounds like one.

[Reply #4 on:]

It depends, was it funny??
if so, yes
if not, no.

[Reply #5 on:]

That was good keep writing also there were one or two jokes depending on how you look at it, but there was definatly one.

[Reply #6 on:]

Okay, now for part 2, this one is just as short, but i tried to make more jokes, even though only 2 people actually read the first part, im hoping more will read this one.

Scene 3
*Everyone enters the casino, it’s a massive area with hundreds of tables and slots*

Fry: “Whoa they have a hotel inside the casino; I wish they had those in my time. Hey where did Bender go??
*Bender is cheating at blackjack with x-ray glasses
Dealer: You can’t cheat at this table; you can at the one next to me.

*Fry is playing virtual poker*
Fry: “Damn, I lost again.”
Leela: “But on the side it says you’re guaranteed to win, that’s half the fun”
Amy: Ya, how did you lose??
Fry: “I folded with an ace and a king, and all the flop gave me was a queen, a jack , and a 10. How was I supposed to win??

Farnsworth: “okay everyone, lets all eat, I have millions of dollars of comps from my days as a high-roller.
*they all sit and order, Bender sees Fry eating steak*
Bender: “pffff remember last week where I made steak, that was way better
Fry: “I didn’t know that was steak, it tasted like lobster.”

*They all slept soundly in the casino that night, unaware of the horrors tomorrow would bring*

                                            Scene 4
Lrrr: “I know, let’s park in the casino.”
Ndnd: “Great idea it is the perfect place to show our Emo-ray 3000
Lrrr: “Yes and the only person who can save them is our prisoner.”
*they park their ship and head inside*
 *Our main characters are about to leave when they see what’s going on*
Lrrr: “Attention earthlings, we have a plan to take over your planet.”
Fry: “Don’t worry everyone somebody will save us.”
Lrrr: “Only one human can, and here he is…”
*a shadowy figure walks out*
Fry: “Oh no it’s... its Zapp???!!??
Farnsworth: “What’s going on?? His hair is black and in front of his face, his wrist has scars on them, he’s over-acting his problems… He’s an emo
Generic guy: “Who will save us now???
*the whole casino goes into chaos, and the Emo-ray is unleashed. Everyone is now enslaved or really depressed, our heroes, are enslaved.

What will hppen next?? will our heroes uncover the evil plot, will the world ever be overtaken, and why does this sound suspiciosly like a saturday morning cartoon??? Find out next time.

unfortunatly, mardi gras breaks ends tomorrow, and i have to go back to school, so it may take a wile to write the conclusion.

[Reply #7 on:]

 

Originally posted by Hypnotize:
Okay, now for part 2, this one is just as short, but i tried to make more jokes, even though only 2 people actually read the first part, im hoping more will read this one.

You don't know for sure that only 2 people read it, maybe more people did but just didn't post. Also keep writing I wanna see where this goes. It was funny when Fry lost that poker thing when he fold Fry jokes are always funny. 

[Reply #8 on:]

Thanks, but im having trouble on the last part. i dont know any good surprise ending, ill try to think of one soon, but i probaly post the next part til a couple of days.

[Reply #9 on:]

Scene 1 was alittle dry in my opinion.The rest of it is really good though.

[Reply #10 on:]

nice work hypnotize, though I have to agree with triggerhappyjim that the scenes went by really fast. 

[Reply #11 on:]

   

Originally posted by soylentOrange:
nice work hypnotize, though I have to agree with triggerhappyjim that the scenes went by really fast. 

ya, i tried to change that in part 2, but it didnt, the same thing will probaly be theere in pt.3. i dunno
And here it is.

Scene 5
*the planet express delivery team is lined up outside the casino*
Lrrr: “you, Chinese girl, were giving you an abortion”
Amy:  “But, im not pregnant.
Lrrr: “You aren’t now, but you will be.”
 *amy shudders as she walks toward the spaceship.*
Lrrr: “You to spiky haired  guy”
Fry:*Walks up* “aw, not again”

*inside the spaceship*
Lrrr: “We are about to take off”
*the heroes are sitting inside the ship in a row, there is a puddle of blood underneath Amy and Fry)
Bender: “were screwed”
Emo Zapp: “No we are not, you see I was just pretending to be emo.”
*Zapp pulls out a laser pistol*
Zapp: “I’ll end this now, but Leela has been a jerk lately so…*points gun his head and pulls trigger*
Fry: I guess he wasn’t pretending”
Leela: Nooooooooo,*she runs and hugs Zapp * were doomed!”

Fry: “I’ll save us.*he gets up and instantly rolls in pain*
Bender: “What did they do to you?”
Fry: “Lets just say they cut something off, lost it, found it in a cats stomach, and sowed it back on.”
Bender: “Meh, ive heard better.”

*Lrrr walks in*
Lrrr: “Wow he killed himself”
Leela: “I hate you” *she runs up and kicks him and steps on his face* “Now let us go”
Lrrr: “Okay, Ill put you back on earth”

                                                Scene 6 (epilogue)
Fry: “Wow I can’t believe Zapp killed himself”
*Shows the coffin opening on top of the table, zapp comes out*
Zoidberg: “O no! It’s a ghost”
Zapp: “Im not a ghost, I was just pretending to be dead, to see if Leela cared about me, and she does”
Leela: No I don’t. *punches him, and knocks him out*
Bender: “Well, it looks like everything is back to normal”
*In the sreets of NNY there are emo kids everywhere.*

FIN
tell me what you think.

[Reply #12 on:]

Funny liked the part where Leela knocked Zapp out. Good work!!!!

[Reply #13 on:]

If you liked that, wait for the developments of "The Ebola Incident"...

[Reply #14 on:]

Tahnks miss bender,

and chrys, dont use this thread to advertise. the ebola incindent is good though.

[Reply #15 on:]

Thanks... couldn't resist this time, but will try to control myself.

[Reply #16 on:]

*Bump* for a simpsons fic
this one is very short, only 4 paragraphs, its about the simpsons getting a computer. enjoy

Ctrl-Alt-D’oh

Part 1
*Homer is on the couch watching tv*
 “Dude, your getting a dell”
Homer: “I didn’t know that”

*family is eating dinner*
Marge: “I don’t see why we need a computer; they cost a lot of money.”
Homer: “But they can do so much”
Marge: “Like what?”
Homer: “You know surf the web and… umm… other stuff.”
Marge: “The answer is no”

*It’s the middle of the night and homer sneaks out of the bedroom to wake the kids*
Homer*beside Barts bed* “Bart wake up and get in the car”
Bart: “Why?”
Homer: “We are going to steal a computer, Lisa is already in the car, she thinks there’s a museum thing going on”

*Bart and Homer sneak behind circuit city, lisa is sleeping in the back*
Homer: “Okay ill just open this door and well walk in”
Bart: “Wow look at all the computers”
Mysterious voice: “Police, don’t move”
Homer: “D’oh”

tell me what you think

[Reply #17 on:]

It's great, eh.

[Reply #18 on:]

um. if you ask me, both of your Fan Fics were...(notmeaning to offend) alittle wierd/boring.....

SORRY! 

[Reply #19 on:]

Yeah this place is Boring.

[Reply #20 on:]

Scene 1
The Planet Express Delivery Team was sitting at a table, celebrating their most recent delivery to Rigel 7, when Professor Farnsworth came through the door.
“Good news everyone, our team hasn’t had a death in over three years. We all get a vacation”

Zoidberg: “yay, I can finally leave this hellhole!”
Fransworth: “Shut-up, you’re not going.”
Zoidberg “I hate you; I’m going to go listen to Linkin Park. *cries and runs out the door*

Farnsworth: “Anyway” *sits at the table*, we are going to the Mr. Burns casino
Fry: “I remember Mr. Burns’s casino from a television show I used to watch”
Leela: “You mean The Simpsons, In 2042 the government re-created Springfield when the show got its 2,000th episode. But then someone created a Family Guy version and the Simpsons one went down hill. All that’s left is the casino.

Scene 2
*On the planet express ship`, Leela is driving while other sit in passenger seats*

Fry: “what ever happened to Zoidberg?”
Amy: ‘I don’t know, he been acting very emo-ish lately.”
Hermes:Ya, you’re right, he’s also been trying to cut his wrist, but his shell is to strong. A lot of people are acting this way.
Fry: “There’s something strange going on here”

Scene 2 and ½
Lrrr: “Finally I can take over earth with my new Emo- ray 300, if everyone is an emo, I can easily take over the earth.
Ndnd: “And what are you going to do with the earth, once you enslave everyone???
Lrrr: “…sell them.
Ndnd: “It may be cruel, but its worth it.

Yes, i know there werent any jokes, (and if you thought there was one, you are wrong) but im trying to set up a backround story, please critisize.

[Reply #21 on:]

Kagome, please, start your own thread for your own fanfic.