Professor Zoidy's First Ever FanFic

[Reply #80 on:]

 

Originally posted by Professor Zoidy:
Michael to KITT: You're about as fun as a divorce. I turned you on and now I can't shut you up!"
KITT: I get custody of me.

          

I gotta say KITT is my favorite character in that show...

But I mean Bender really in love. I might even bring back the Countess. But of course, it'll be a spoof of something... (I'm not telling you yet    . You'll see.    )


My 23rd TOTPD!

[Reply #81 on:]

Damnit Xanfor... I love you. This thread made three pages! It's a miracle!! Hallelujah! KITT's a hoot most of the time when he's not busy being serious. In fact, I'm gonna post my signature...

[Reply #82 on:]

Wow, have I told you how much you rock yet Xanny? Here's a chapter made with wuv for you. :3

Chapter Five
One Last Question From Zoidberg


   "Wow, that was just like that show Knight Rider!" Fry said, amazed. "That's because it was Knight Rider, only we were in it you moron." Leela retorted back. "Oh you two, stop fighting. One last question for the What If machine. What about you Zoidberg? Do you have any what if questions?" Farnsy asked the crew. "In fact I do, Professor," the lobster said. "What if I was in a Broadway Musical?" the doctor asked the machine. The screen turned colors one last time as a stage appeared with elaborate sets and lighting. There Dr. Zoidberg stood, almost completely alone in the spotlight, except for a lone female actress that played the love of his life in his hit Broadway musical, A Crustacean Love: The Dr. Zoidberg Story. "Why must my life be filled with such mysery and so many patients having strange fluids gushing out of their bodies?!" Zoidberg cried out into the air, the audience in total silence. The crew was, to simply put it, extremely bored. "BO-RING!" Fry yelled to the screen as Bender attempted to toss an empty Slurm can he took out of his chest cavity at Dr. Zoidberg for asking such a stupid question. "Get a job, you jackass!" the robot yelled. The lobster instantly started crying and ran out of the room with his claws covering his face. The two friends left soon after Zoidberg did. "So, Fry, how do you think Calculon'll end up in his near-death situation this time?" the robot casually asked as he and Fry walked to the employee lounge and sat down on the couch. "I dunno. Probably one of those near-fatal crashes into the next dimension again... As if that wasn't already cliched." Fry replied back. As soon as the door opened to the lounge, Zoidberg could be seen sitting on the couch, no longer sobbing, but rather just sitting there and staring vaguely, like a zombie. " Hey, Dr. Jerkberg, ass off the couch. Now!" Bender yelled. Zoidberg let out an "aww" and slowly scuttled off back to the What If machine. Upon arriving, everyone else started to shuffle out of the room. Zoidberg had been gone about half an hour, and the crew painstakingly sat through the What If machine's story since Professor Farnsworth gave them two options: stay there and watch it, or be experimented on and possibly lose an organ or ten. "What happened? Did I become a famous lobster like my uncle Harold Zoid?" Zoidberg inquired Hermes, who had been filing paperwork moments before the lobster walked in and started wasting his time. "Look what ya made me do, ya lousy freak of a lobsta! Ya made me mis-count me income tax refunds! Either get out or go ta hell!" Hermes yelled angrily at Zoidberg as he attempted to chuck a phone book at his red, bald head. "Wroo-oo-rooo!" Zoidberg screamed as he dodged the book. He happened to overhear Amy as she walked away from the machine. "Spleesh, what a loser! First of all, hello, he can't sing! Second, what kid of downfall was that? I mean, guh, you need to have no dignity.." Amy said to Leela, who pretended to pay attention. "Aww, don't feel bad Zoidberg, you can't suck anymore than you already do! Ah-hahahaha!!!" Bender said, walking in on his way to get another 32 pack of beer. "Awww..." Zoidberg sighed. "Maybe someday, Zoidberg will show his fellow crewmembers he can do something!" the lobster stated as he scuttled off to his newly found home: an assortment of pizza boxes and cans taped together quite poorly.

[Reply #83 on:]

Oh, Xanny boy, the pipes, the pipes, are calling.
From glen to glen, and down-
(Bender throws empty beer at Zoidberg)

Lemme guess... Is that what the senario was? 

What's next? I can't wait. Seriously. Lovely stuff to spoof here, oh my, yes... 

[Reply #84 on:]

Oh Danny boyyyyy....! Maybe I'll add Chapter six and Zoidberg'll show them all... 

[Reply #85 on:]

You inspired me to write my own story with me in the future!!!! I'm going to have no nose because I'm a mutant (kinda like Leela's sstory) but my parents died. Then I'm going to shove my foot up Zapp's ass!!!! God I hate him.....

[Reply #86 on:]

Hooray! Someone finally wnts to shove their boot up his ass as much as me!  I certainly am glad that my story(ies) has inspired you to write your own. SoylentOrange inspired me to write the stuff you see here. It's one long chain that keeps on going.

[Reply #87 on:]

 Yeah!! Another Zapp hater!!! Don't get me wrong, he's funny but he's a perverted moron!!!!

[Reply #88 on:]

Well of course he is. I haven't even drawn a picture of him...that wasnt sabotaged. Scrounge through my art thread if you wanna find it.

[Reply #89 on:]

These storys confuse me. Fry is with Zoidy, but Fry wants Leela. Zoidy wants and has Fry, Leela has no-one, who will she be with. Maybe a brilant writer such as yourself could explain story style, maybe???

Enough of my confusion though, I loved the storys, they were both brilliant, I liked  how you took old ideas, knight rider & star wars, and totally made them your own.

If you keep on writing, I keep on reading.

[Reply #90 on:]

Well, whoever said Fry would stay with Zoidy for all eternity? You know how those relationships he has begin and end. This one just lasted a bit longer. Maybe it'll show Leela how much he can care for someone and make her love him back. Of course, someone has to turn to the dark side... *shifty eyes* You heard nothing, you saw nothing.

[Reply #91 on:]

...you tasted nothing, you felt nothing, you smelt nothing, and those plans you saw were not the property of the Mention Zoidberg Committee. Now, ZoidyProf, I reread your fanfic today and I noticed that you changed something. Namely, the name of the car is now 'KATT'. The first thing that came to my my mind when I read this was it's obvious spoofee, and the term I heard in my head was 'KITT-KATT'. I found this hilarious and deem whoever it was who came up with that idea to be a genius. It is suprisingly similar to the medical station in 'War is the H-Word', named 'M*E*A*T'. (Interpreted, QED, as 'M*A*S*H M*E*A*T')

Incidentally, I have come up with the questions that are to be axed in my anthology, and I thought maybe you would like to have a look.

Show spoiler

'What if Fry got frozen again?' (To be a spoof of '*** *****')

'What if Bender got married?' (To be a shippy style spoof of '*******')

and 'What if this question was never axed?' (Action crazy absolutely no point whatsoever spoof of something. I don't know exactly what yet, though...)

Edited to include this:
------------------
Signed, Intendant Commander Xanfor, The Collaterally Foremost & Secondarily Archetypical Fry+Leela Shipper

[Reply #92 on:]

Ahh, certainly all great questions. Now, please don't shoot me because I have not had the ideas or the time to work on the rest of my story. Today, I wrote random things about Homer though in computer class because I was bored. It went something like this: "As Homer sat there, he never got off the subject of not being able to eat lunch more than once a day in his mind. It wandered here and there and yet would always return to food...Donuts especially. "Mmmm, donuts" he thought" see what boring subjects that happen to have typing lessons I don't follow and an imaginative brain can do? Dangerous combo, that. Now As I was typing, I had to type "its kit" there's obviously other stuff after, but I though it was cool. I took a doubletake on that line of text. Though they forgot a "t", it still gave me thoughts...

Edit: Ok, so I lied. After I posted this I went to work on it. I added a few more sentences to it anyways.

[Reply #93 on:]

I swear on my trousers that I'll read this tomorrow. It sounds like I've missed a heck of a lot since the first instalment. Still living out that fantasy, eh? 

[Reply #94 on:]

*Small but important bump*

I was late in reading this - I owe you a pair of trousers.

Love it so far! Your style changed dramatically for the Knight Rider section and it worked spectacularly.

In fact, the only real problem I have is the layout. You see I'm an idiot, so big-block text confuses me to hell.

Keep the good stuff coming or no trousers for you!

[Reply #95 on:]

That's because I study every show I'm quite intrigued with. To me, my writing always could use improvement. Don't think I hate my stories. I might try writing a full-on Knight rider fic someday. Just gotta have an idea hit me. I hope I can get Zoidberg and his carreer thing going good. That, or if not, I can always have something happen to the what-if machine, or time...or...something I'll come up with.

[Reply #96 on:]

OHH!!!! UPDATE!!!! FINAL ANTHOLOGY CHAPTER!!!

Chapter 6
Zoidberg Strikes Back


   When Zoidberg arrived at his makeshift home of the week, since that was about how long he lived in one place before he had to move again due to various reasons, he grabbed an ink bottle, a piece of lined paper and a quill pen. The lobster stuck the ink bottle into his shirt and pulled it out a few seconds later, full of ink. He dipped the quill into the ink and started writing....

      "Dear Planet Express friends,
I'm moving on, I am. Tease Zoidberg and Zoidberg will show you what can be done.
I am leaving to become what I've wanted to be: a theater performer. Maybe someday I can finally work at the famed Apollo Theather and not get booed offstage!
Goodbye friends,
Dr. John Zoidberg"


   "AH-hahahahahahaha!! So, that jerk finally decided to leave? Who ever thought he had the courage? That damned lobster ran away after I chucked only one lousy phonebook at his head. How can he even start to think about being in a play?" Bender said outraged and amused at the same time after he read the letter aloud. Leela threw a brick at Bender's metal face, whacking him right between the eyes and knocking him over. "Ouch! Why the hell did you do that Leela!?!" Bender yelled, the flooring somewhat muffling his words. "Because Bender, first of all, who cried he was scared when he became a were car? Second, who cares if Zoidberg left to attempt to prove himself to us?" the cyclops stated to Bender with an annoyed tone in her voice. "Damn straight! If ya ask me, I tink it's for da betta of tings." Hermes said to the crew, looking up from his papers from the crew's conference table. "Well, if you're all done arguing over something that I've forgotten what it was, I need you to wash the Planet Express Ship, then go look for Dr. What's-his-face." Professor Farnsworth said to the crew in his moody voice. "Aww, crap..." Bender said. "Once again, the robot does all the work." The bending unit grumbled a few more inaudible sentences and walked to the docking bay with Fry and Leela.
   "Lousy work. I don't get paid to do this! I get paid to be on my ass and drinking beer all day." Bender said. "Shut up and scrub." Leela yelled to Bender, since she was at the other end of the ship trying to buff out the many inappropriately childish drawings of the many things they loved to make fun of and some stuff they liked. You two morons should be buffing this out, not me. Leela thought to herself as she wore a frown on her face, from both having to press rather hard on the buffing machine to get the ink off, and because once again, Fry and Bender were being hard-headed and idiotic. Leela heard something that sounded like "you shut up, sir" from Fry, who was now fighting with Bender, with both words and the water hose and sponges they were using. Leela looked back at the two after a few moments of devotion to cleaning, she noticed that they had begun using sticks to poke each other. "Ok, stop with the feelings you two..." Leela said. The two abruptly stopped and threw the sticks to the ground. "Now come on. We've gotta deliver a package to..." Leela paused to look at her list stuck to her clipboard. "... the dance theater?  Well, that's not far away. We can walk to it and.." Just at that moment, Fry and Bender let out their "crap-do-we-have-to-be-unlazy" groan and drug their feet along the ground, Bender's causing sparks to fly off the cement every time he moved forward.
   The ship fired up and took off in a blue haze of light, and then landed now two seconds later almost right across the street from the Planet Express building. "Well, it was either waste darkmatter fuel or make you carry it, and since you two are the lazier people I've ever known, I figured flying would be the only compromise." Leela said as she shrugged her shoulders. The trio walked to the cargo hold and Leela flipped the switch to lower the platform the package was sitting on to the ground. The three then jumped onto the platform and hauled the package to the door. Before they opened the door, Zoidberg came running out, sobbing. "Oh, why does everyone hate Zoidberg? The tomato throwing Zoidberg can handle, but not the bricks!" The lobster sat down and sobbed by the trash cans. Fry felt for him and walked over. "Hey Zoidberg. Why don't you just come back with us?" Fry asked. "Why should Zoidberg, after how you treated me?" The lobster put his head back on his claws. "Uhh, because, at least you get paid...?" Fy said. Zoidberg thought this over for a moment. "Fine, but Zoidberg wants a raise he does. And less with the fat jokes from Bender would be nice." Zoidberg said, staring Bender down for a few seconds. "Fine, but don't expect me t quit forever." Bender said, angrily accepting the deal. "Hooray, I'm loved!!!" Zoidberg said as he climbed onto the ship. "Hey, you come back here lobster!! You got a lotta cleaning up to do after the way you trashed the stage!" the manager of the Apollo theater yelled at Zoidberg. "Uehhh uehh uehh!!" Zoidberg yelled as he rushed into the ship even faster and hid in a closet. "I think that's our cue to get lost... Let's blow this crapshack!" Bender said. The trio raced onto the ship and fired it up again, flying back to Planet Express.

[Reply #97 on:]

Eheheh... Poor old Zoidberg.

[Reply #98 on:]

I figured I might as well finish it, since I'm gonna get a new computer and I'm waayyy to lazy to retype it. I plan on starting the second part to the Master Kidnappster story soon enough.

I need some ideas on bad guys and if you think Chives should end up coming back, to ultimately destroy us all!!! Destroy us all!!! Destroy us all!!! to possibly continue being evil, or should there be someone new, perhaps someone that worked for him? Names anyone has will be appreciated.

[Reply #99 on:]

Did I ever post that Alternate Chapter 7 to Master Kidnappster? If I did, I'm making sure, since I'm about to delete it. It's no longer needed.

Chapter 7
An Alternate Fight to the Death


   " So you just think you can barge in and steal back prisoners do you? Well, you're in for a surprise. Guards, I want you to chain the two escapees in another cell, and take the others to be killed. All except her, so she can watch her friends and her boyfriend die. I'll even let you watch." Chives said to Professor Zoidy, who spat at his feet in anger. Chives pulled her face upwards to meet his eyes. " Feisty one, eh? I could use a new apprentice like you around here..Be nice and I'll consider giving you that honor. In the mean time, I'd suggest you keep your damned mouth shut and watch what you do. Do I make myself clear?" Dr. Chives asked, yelling at Professor Zoidy, who's rage was building. He ordered the guards off and she started to cry, yelling at them to let Fry and the others go. Dr. Chives dragged Professor Zoidy down the hallway, telling one of the guards something important.
   Professor Zoidy tried to make out what the two were wispering about, but with all the screams of pain being inflicted in the background from her poor friends made it impossible. When Chives and the guard were done speaking, Julius Chives dragged Professor Zoidy off further down the hallway to what appeared to be the doctor's personal office.  " Why do you keep resisting, Zoidy? You have no hope of ever seeing your friends again after tomorrow, and you'll be stuck here forever." Julius asked, using a fake caring tone. Zoidy sat there, her face showing no emotion whatsoever. " They'll escape. You'll see. They'll all find a way to escape, and you'll be murdered on the spot." Professor Zoidy said, confidently. " Like any of your friends could possibly escape! They're all dimwitted, especially the one with the red hair. Fry, isn't it? He couldn't figure his way out of a box, much less destroy me." Chives said, smirking. " He's a whole lot smarter than you are. How else do you explain his saber skills?" Zoidy fought back, smirking as well, Chives's face showing a slight frown. " Believe the lies you mind has come up with all you want, but it won't help you any. I suppose I'll chain you up in the prisoner hold with the rest of your incompetent friends tonight, but expect it to be very displeasing." Dr. Chives laughed and strapped a shock collar around Zoidy's neck, and put extra short chains on the arm and leg clasps, so as to make certain she would have a difficult time speaking to anyone without hurting herself in the process. Once again, Zoidy was dragged down the hallway, everyone looked up from their chains in the prisoner hold when Chives came barging in. " Lock her up on the wall over by the idiot. He won't do much harm. Make sure her chains are securely attatched as well." Chives told the guards that followed him in the door. He threw Zoidy to the ground, and everyone winced at the sound of her helmet cracking, the noise being extremely loud on the cold, metal floors.
   The guards chained the angry Professor Zoidy to the wall, but at ground level, so she'd have to either sit or stand, but sitting would be difficult. The only way possible was to have her feet in an uncomfortable position, and for her to sit on her legs all the time. Fry seemed to be the only one who had not been chained up by his arms and legs onto the wall, him having just enough chains to reach Professor Zoidy. When the guards were done, they left the room, making sure the door had a new Ronco brand lock on it. For what seemed like an eternity, everyone just sat there, waiting for Zoidy to say something. She finally broke the silence. "Fry, I'm so happy to see you..." Zoidy said, nearly wispering. Fry came up and hugged her as best he could, and noticed she had on a shock collar. " Let me get that off for you." Fry ran his hand over the back of the collar, searching for the clasp holding it on. "Got it! " He said, after only a few seconds, and he pulled it off, the terrible item shocking him, making him throw it across the room. "Thank you Fry . " Zoidy said, and she kissed him on the cheek once again.
   The next day, Professor Zoidy was awoken quite early so she could get freshened up to watch her friends die a slow and painful death. " You might as well get clean today, since you may get blood on you by the time we're done with them. I think we'll kill Fry first, seeing how you seem to care about him the most." Chives said gleefully. Dr. Chives ordered the guard to unchain everyone from the wall and drag them outside to be killed from his wristcom. Professor Zoidy was ordered to walk out without comment whatsoever, and in exchange, would not be dragged out again. Zoidy had no intention of speaking anyway, for she planned to distract Chives, and was devising a plan on how to do so. About five minutes later, they finally made it out of the building, standing in a grassy field, under a shady tree.
   As promised, Fry was first in line to die. A guard pulled out a railgun and readied it to fire. Fry took a deep breath and shuddered when he let his breath out. Zoidy had made up her mind. She was going to knock Chives out, then break the guard's railgun, hopefully before he shot it and killed Fry, or her, but she had a matter of seconds to act. She quietly pulled out her lightsaber just as the guard said something under his breath. Professor Zoidy ignited the saber, everyone turning to look at her to try and figure out her plan, Fry being the only one who failed to notice. Professor Zoidy snuck around to one side of the tree and cut off a branch without so much as a cracking sound, and hit Chives upside the head with it, Chives falling unconsious for the moment. Before he had time to gather his thoughts and his voice, Zoidy punched him hard in the stomach, causing Chives to keel over. The guard noticed and pulled the trigger, but missed Zoidy. The professor pretended she was hit, and fell over, Fry calling out to her desperately. Attention was focused back to Fry. The guard readied his gun again, and pulled the trigger, Fry was thinking about his life, and how crappy it had been until he had met Professor Zoidy. As the guard pulled the trigger, he whispered the words " I love you, Zoidy. " The moments seemed to have gone in slow motion. Fry had watched the guard put his finger on the trigger, and pull it, the laser shooting straight for him. He had fallen seconds later. Fry could feel his body going numb. He desperately tried to speak once again, but he could no longer form the words. His body was shutting down. Somewhere, from what seemed miles away, he heard Professor Zoidy screaming. Fry was sinking, sinking.
   Professor Zoidy sat there, crying, and Chives, who had regained full awareness, laughed evilly. " Good thing he's dead. Never was of use to anybody anyways." Professor Zoidy had had enough of his attitude. She punched him in the jaw and heard a distinct snap, his jaw now broken. She darted toward the guards and struck them too, knocking them unconscious. She retrieved the key to the chains around the crew's arms and legs, and unlocked them, everyone running and hiding. Chives had gotten up in time to see just Fry and Zoidy, along with the two unconsious guards. " Yes, the more I see you fight, the more I want you to be my eventual successor." Dr. Chives said, gleeful to see his choice had been a wise one. Professor Zoidy walked back over to Fry, and checked to see if he had a pulse. She then started to laugh, and Chives wanted to know why. " Why the hell are you laughing for?! He's dead." Chives said. " You'd think that, wouldn't you? Seems as if I was just in time to save his life. He got hit with the shockwave from the railgun, not the actual bullet itself. Looks like you'll have another apprentice to train." Professor Zoidy said, smirking. Julius Chives scowled and hesitantly agreed. That Zoidy is smarter than she appears, always finding a way to beat me. Chives thought, a scowl still on his face. He called for more guards to search the area for the remaining four escapees. " How about I search for them? I'll know exactly where they're hiding." Professor Zoidy said to Chives, who was happy to see his eventual successor turning to the dark side. Fry had, by now, awoken, and wondered where he was. Professor Zoidy seized the moment to tell him that they were seeking the rest of their crew to "kill". Fry stared in disbelief at the girl, wondering if she really had gone to the dark side. She told him in his ear the real plan, after dragging him along out the doorway.