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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    General Futurama Forum Category    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Sex and the Delivery « previous next »
Author Topic: Sex and the Delivery  (Read 2161 times)
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Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #40 on: 11-29-2005 18:47 »

Still doesn't ammount to any more than an opinion.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #41 on: 11-29-2005 19:02 »

true. I'm just saying that he's proved through his writing that he kinda knows what he's talking about. So he's opinion is a little more credible than someone whose never written anything before ever.
Marcus
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #42 on: 11-29-2005 19:50 »
« Last Edit on: 11-29-2005 19:50 »

I don't think folk need to get worried on other people's behalf, though    :) For what it's worth, I thought Ralph was just expressing good-humoured surprise at Kif's forthright _expression-of-views_, not at all questioning that l'hombre Kif had 'the right to post that review'.

As for criticism: I can't say I read the story all the way through; didn't really grip me from the off (but then, I'm not really your key demographic, having read maybe 7 futurama fan fics ever!).

Some of the humour seemed like it was hard work to squeeze it into its flammably-padded, tightly constraining fanfic fabric, though each sequence worked well on its own - maybe it was just 'too much' when taken altogether!

Actual technicalities of writing were really good (all flowed along nicely, nothing that felt too awkward or out of place), characterisation of what I read was fine, and you've got a nice ear for dialogue/tempo of speech    :) (I pick this out in particular because it's summat I could never get right when I wrote!)

Maybe this story would have worked better if it was condensed a little - think of a feature AoI sequence rather than a whole episode! 3600 words where maybe it could be cut to, say, 2000 - 2500?

I would read more stuff you wrote though, so hope to see more submissions    :D
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #43 on: 11-29-2005 20:19 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:

He's earned the right to post that review. he has several very very highly rated epic fics.

Gee, I didn't know I was putting salt in somebody's cornflakes.

So I'm the noob, and maybe some of the 'old timers' don't care for the noobz, but I meant no disrespect to Kif - quite the opposite; if I didn't like what he said, I'd take it to email and argue with him there.

As for what I've done to make you angry, I have no idea, but whatever - I appologize.

I do disagree with your standards that Kif's opinion means more than anybody else's because he's written several stories - that's a talent that I obviously don't have, and even though Spacecase has taken me under her wing, I think that I may just stop, because if it's not a 'highly rated' story, then my opinion is worthless.

'S&tD' may not be everybody's cup of tea, but some people have liked it (Personally, it was a bit lowbrow for me, but then I hate RAP music but I'd never take it away from other people).

Once again, whatever I've done to you to make you angry with me, I appologise, but I will defend the right for this story to be posted.  If the mods feel that it's out-of-line, there's always FanFiction.net or The Turanga Pages, but he has as much right to write a story, good or bad, as you or I do.

Ralph 'now expecting lots of hate mail' Snart

Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #44 on: 11-29-2005 22:20 »

I'm not angry, i didn't mean what i said to come off that way. I don't think i really worded it right. I really just meant that Kif wasn't flaming. I don't think that the story should come down, just that all of Kif's points were valid. And i don't think that the opinion of someone whose never written before isn't valid, just that someone whose written before and was really good at it is a little more credible. For example Jk Rowling (Harry Potter) has way more credibility with her billion dollar writing empire then i do with my half a fic. Obviously she would know exactly what she was talking about when reviewing a story.
Tokash

Crustacean
*
« Reply #45 on: 11-30-2005 02:49 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kif White:
I'd say no offense, but as Leela said once, "Actually, I do mean to offend a little. This is awful!"
No worries Kif, no offense taken even if you meant to offend a little.  It's only fair considering the story can be construed as such. I appreciate your opinion and respect your preferences.

DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #46 on: 11-30-2005 03:15 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kif White:
...only to just end up going into more blatant/in-your-face boob jokes.

Now that's a joke!

I agree with everything Kif said with the exception of the villain being anti-sexist.  I'd classify her as anti-sexuality.  If she is, in fact, an anti-sexist, she is a sexist anti-sexist unless there is some male enhancement/mind control scheme that was never revealed.  At any rate and to our best knowledge, the scheme is fundamentally flawed  that in only targets heterosexual males and lesbians*.  Then again, as I said earlier, I'm sure the script accomplished what it set out to do.  According to my experience with pornography, a well-written script is somewhere far below secondary to eroticism.

* See list of things DrThunder doesn't really understand.
Tokash

Crustacean
*
« Reply #47 on: 11-30-2005 03:32 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Marcus:
Some of the humour seemed like it was hard work to squeeze it into its flammably-padded, tightly constraining fanfic fabric, though each sequence worked well on its own - maybe it was just 'too much' when taken altogether!

Actual technicalities of writing were really good (all flowed along nicely, nothing that felt too awkward or out of place), characterisation of what I read was fine, and you've got a nice ear for dialogue/tempo of speech...
Maybe this story would have worked better if it was condensed a little...

I would read more stuff you wrote though, so hope to see more submissions     :D
Marcus, thanks for reviewing the content and the technical writing style separately. They are, in my opinion, two different animals and not necessarily related to each other.  Your opinion has been taken with weight.
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #48 on: 11-30-2005 17:21 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
So he's opinion is a little more credible than someone whose never written anything before ever.

Not as far as I'm concerned.  Regarding fanfics, the only opinion I value is my own.  Personally I didn't like UOM, but that's just me.  I know most people liked it.  No knock on Ken, mind you.  I very much liked The Chronotrons of Fry-nia, even though I didn't get the reference in the title until I started seeing previews for that movie.

  :laff:
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #49 on: 11-30-2005 21:57 »

Oh God i didn't get that title reference till just now...
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