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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    General Futurama Forum Category    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    a noob's first attempt at literature « previous next »
Author Topic: a noob's first attempt at literature  (Read 28189 times)
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MarriedtoAmy

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #480 on: 05-26-2006 15:43 »

Farnesworth38 is a loser and a lair
mookie427

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #481 on: 05-26-2006 16:44 »

a lair? Isn't that a hideout?

Oh, you meant LIAR. I just forgot you were a RETARD
MarriedtoAmy

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #482 on: 05-26-2006 17:45 »

I reported you so you're account should be shut down soon
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #483 on: 05-26-2006 19:56 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Farnsworth38:
Shiny: I've hit the Alert. I think it's Kagome.

Thanks.  I tried to before I went out this afternoon, but I didn't know my host and server, didn't have time to figure'em out before I left, and it wouldn't send it without them. 

Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #484 on: 05-26-2006 21:42 »

I'm sorry, SO. That is really tough. It's painful when you lose someone close to you like that (and yes, I think animals count as 'someone's rather than 'something's!) For what it's worth, I know how it feels, so I offer you my sympathy and comfort. Hey, it's all I have to give!  :)
mookie427

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #485 on: 05-27-2006 05:23 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by MarriedtoAmy:
I reported you so you're account should be shut down soon

I don't think so...........
MarriedtoAmy

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #486 on: 05-27-2006 06:07 »

Yeah i do think so boner head
mookie427

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #487 on: 05-27-2006 06:51 »

I'm not even going to dignify that with a response....

anyway I finally got round to reading it....excellent work!
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #488 on: 05-27-2006 08:08 »
« Last Edit on: 05-27-2006 08:08 »

@ SO : Nice work man! Can't wait to see how you'll end this story. Keep it up. Oh and sorry about your pets. These little furry things are hard to forget. (I know)
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #489 on: 05-31-2006 23:39 »

Wow guys, I read the last page's worth of comments and just, wow.  Thanks for all of the support over my lost pets.  Oh, except for you MarriedToAmy.  Copying my work once was annoying and slightly weird, but doing it twice and spamming up the thread?  Get lost.

And since some of you guys asked, I lost a 10 week old collie puppy named Bryce and a 2 year old betta fish.  Bryce was the big deal, the fact that my aquatic roommate of two years died on the same day was just a bit of a blow while I was down ya know?  Nobody really knows what happened to Bryce.  He woke up in the morning happy and playing just like any other day and then bam, he starts throwing up and then two hours later dies on the operating table.  They think it was some genetic problem with his heart; like he was born with a timebomb in his chest, but that's just a good guess.  Here's a picture of the little guy


Again, thanks a ton for the support.  I've had a week of hiking the Grand Canyon to get rid of some excess anger at certain devine beings that may or may not be floating around somewhere, so I think Im ready to try writing again.  You guys are awesome  :)
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #490 on: 06-04-2006 09:32 »

I haven't heard from Leo (the guy who betas for me) in almost two months.  If anyone else wants to beta for me while he's out of the loop let me know k?  I might be a pretty good writer but I absolutely suck at editing.  Please help me!  :D
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #491 on: 06-04-2006 11:01 »

Ooh, pick me! Pick me!  :D

I've never done it before, but I have a pretty good eye for stuff like that. I'd be more than happy to help!
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #492 on: 06-04-2006 12:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
If anyone else wants to beta for me while he's out of the loop let me know k?
I'd be glad to help.

Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #493 on: 06-04-2006 20:15 »

I wish I could help, but I can't commit to anything, too much going on. 

Bryce looks like he was an adorable collie puppy (a redundant statement, I know - a collie puppy is the very definition of "adorable" ).  It sucks for you to lose him and everything, but at least he got to spend the time he had being loved and cared for and, obviously (from the photo), very happy.  As I said previously, I believe pets reincarnate and return as our other pets later, so I feel sure you'll see him again (and have more time to spend with him) in time.

Take care, and good luck with the beta search. 

Shiny
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #494 on: 06-04-2006 21:37 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Arkan:
Ooh, pick me! Pick me!   :D

I've never done it before, but I have a pretty good eye for stuff like that. I'd be more than happy to help!

@Arkan: Oky-doky  :).  Do you want me to use your PEEL email address or something else?

@spacecase: Sorry, Arkan beat ya to it.  I'll definitely let you know though if Arkan decides she's sick of getting emails from me  :D.
Corvus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #495 on: 06-05-2006 07:24 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:

Bryce looks like he was an adorable collie puppy (a redundant statement, I know - a collie puppy is the very definition of "adorable" ).  It sucks for you to lose him and everything, but at least he got to spend the time he had being loved and cared for and, obviously (from the photo), very happy.

What she said...

I've gone through a similar thing but with a cat that had a bad heart. It caught up with him on the morning of Christmas day and he died on the way to the vet.

SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #496 on: 06-05-2006 12:18 »
« Last Edit on: 11-22-2008 19:11 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
@spacecase: Sorry, Arkan beat ya to it.  I'll definitely let you know though if Arkan decides she's sick of getting emails from me   :D.

[Zoidberg]
Aww...
[/Zoidberg]

No problem.
It's your story; you're the boss.  :cool:

Just out of curiosity, how many betas do you usually use?  :confused:

Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #497 on: 06-05-2006 12:28 »

Yup, esso, my PEEL email is fine.
By the way, I agree with Shiny; Bryce looks sooo cute. And very happy.  :)

Sorry, Spacecase! Better luck next time...  :evillaugh:
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #498 on: 06-05-2006 12:33 »

SoylentO, yeah, i've fallen behind a bit here, but I just caught up (thanks, summer job!)  Besides some minor problems that could easily be fixed with a beta, you've got some great stuff going for you.  The "Danger, antimatter! Do not store near epic battle.” was a personal favorite of mine. (Oh how I wish you'd add more comedy, you're perfectly capable  ;)).

...aw... such a cute puppy.  That sucks so much, sorry to hear it. 
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #499 on: 06-05-2006 12:38 »

@Shiny: I really hope you're right.

@Corvus: On Christmas day?  God that's awful.

@Spacecase: I usually just use 1 beta.  I tried 2 for a few weeks but it didn't work too well, though come to think of it's thats probably because hte guy who isn't Leo (who I cant remember) wasn't too helpfull.  I can try 2 again if you want, it's no skin off my teeth  :)

@Arkan: Alright cool. I'll send you an email sometime soon, depending on when Im happy with what I've written. 
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #500 on: 06-05-2006 15:58 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Arkan:
… Sorry, Spacecase! Better luck next time...  :evillaugh:
Meh.

My luck runs along the lines of, "If you always expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed."  ;)
Some say that makes me a pessimist; a blackguard; a cyninc - but I've never been disappointed!  :laff:
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
@Spacecase: I usually just use 1 beta. I tried 2 for a few weeks but it didn't work too well, though come to think of it's thats probably because hte guy who isn't Leo (who I cant remember) wasn't too helpfull.  I can try 2 again if you want, it's no skin off my teeth   :)
First, it seems that er, situation was due to that particular beta, not the fact you had two.
Second, it's your story, and your decision. You write it whatever way works best for you. Use one beta, two, or a hundred. Write it on a word processor, typewriter, or clay tablets! Whatever works.

It's your story, so it's your decision.
I'm willing if you're interested. My e-mail addy is in my profile.
If you're not interested: Fine. It's your story. You do with it as you see fit. I take no offense.

Sheesh! I'm beginning to sound like Syd Field!

Regardless; you're writing some mighty fine stuff - among the best I've seen in recent months.
Oh please, keep it up; do!  :love:

I'll just ooze back out under the door now… ;^)
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #501 on: 06-05-2006 17:59 »

Esso: Coolio, till then!  :)

Spasecase: Nice motto! And I definitely think someone should try writing on clay tablets. Could be fun.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #502 on: 06-22-2006 01:32 »

what's this?  no word from me in almost three weeks?  Time for a big update!
_____________________________ _______________

Part 4
Chapter1

The pain was excruciating.  It was the one constant; the only force that existed in the universe.  Every once in awhile, when she could form thoughts at all, Leela would ask herself if she was still alive.  Each time the pain assured her that she was, at least for now
_____________________________ _____________________________ _

Hours later she awoke to find herself lying face down on something cold and metallic.  There was something pressing down on her from above; not pinning her to the ground, but making its presence known nonetheless.  The scant light that sifted down to her from up above was barely enough to illuminate her surroundings.  There was broken concrete and twisted metal everywhere.  Apparently she was in a giant pile of rubble, probably the remains of the Planet Express tower.  A light breeze wafted a thin plume of acrid smoke into Leela's face.  It smelled vaguely of burning lobster.

The pain was coming in bursts now.  Leela tried to move her arms and legs, but they ignored her completely.  Even turning her head was excruciating, but she gritted her teeth and did it anyway.  For a moment her vision blurred and she thought she might black out again, but then her head cleared and the world gradually came back into focus.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw the shape of something familiar.  It was the time device, perched near the edge of a dark pit only a couple of inches from her right hand.

 “Got to…  Got to go back…”  The words came out around a trickle of red. 

With all the mental control she could muster, Leela willed her right hand to reach out for the object.  The pain from the inch that she gained was unbearable.  She tried again, and then again.  Her ring finger stretched out as far as it would go, finally brushing the smooth surface of the machine.  Very, very carefully Leela began to turn the dial and press the embedded buttons with the tip of her finger.  The whole device rocked back and forth dangerously in its precarious position.  Finally she was able to get the little holographic screen to come on.  The displayed time slowly began to turn backward.   Leela's pain clouded mind was becoming impatient.  She knew that she should stop and think about what she was doing, but it hurt so much to think clearly.

"Got to go back, everything... will be ok, gotta go back."

  She stabbed at tbe buttons, sending the device sliding closer to the edge.  A tremor reverberated through the whole pile of rubble as something massive shifted overhead.  Newton’s laws slapped Leela once more in the face as the rocking time machine began to roll, and then finally to fall.   It dropped a good ten feet and then collided with a metal beam.  Leela could only watch in horror as the device vanished in a burst of light.  The hologram read “5:47pm”.  Succumbing completely to despair, Leela let herself fall into a state of total oblivion. 
_____________________________ ________________________

Leela awoke with a start, surging involuntarily into a sitting position.  A moment later her brain caught up with her amd tensed her body for the wave of agony that was sure to come.   There was a scream of pain, but Leela discovered with more than a little surprise that it wasn’t hers.  She opened her eye.

Nibbler lay sprawled against a nearby wall for the second time in two days, or the first time in 1000 years depending on your point of view.  Even more astonishing, Leela was able to look at him from a sitting position without blacking out.  In fact, there wasn’t any pain at all.

"No pain?," she thought, "That's impossible.  Am I hallucinating?"  She pinched herself.  "Ow!  OK, so this is real.  Wait, where am I?"

A quick survey of her surroundings yielded a poorly lit pocket in a mountain of broken concrete and tacky carpeting, maybe the remains of an office in the PE building. 

“Nibbler? What the hell is going on?” she asked, still not quite sure if she was dreaming.

The Nibblonian opened his mouth to respond, hesitated for a moment, and dropped a small cylindrical object that he had been holding.  He held his deer-in-the-headlights pose for a moment or two before seemingly reaching a decision.  Instead of answering Leela in the deep, authoritarian voice that she had become accustomed to he let loose a wild string of meaningless babbling noises and began running randomly about the room.  Leela blocked him out as her mind finally had the chance to process the fact that by all rights she should be dead.  At least, that had been the plan after seeing her one ticket to saving the universe poof into another timeline.  Still, somehow she'd managed to survive...  Nibbler was still running about the room.  The noise was starting to give the PE captain a headache.  Having had enough, she grabbed the furry little creature by the scruff of his neck as he ran by and held him up to her face.  “Don’t play dumb with me,” she warned, “I know who you are.  Now tell me what the hell is going on here!”

Nibbler hesitated while he digested this turn of events, but as soon as his silence was becoming suspicious he made up his mind, letting out a well executed belch.  A moment later the ensuing string of mindless babbling was cut short by Leela's narrowing eye.

"You 'bout done?"  The words carried the unspoken promise of a world of hurt.

Nibbler cleared his throat nervously.  “I see that it is impossible to deceive you any longer.  Very well," he said, "but could you put me down please?  My skin stretches quite easily.”  Leela rolled her eye but did as she was asked.  The Nibblonian drew himself up into a more dignified position, or at least the most dignified position that a guinea pig with an eyestalk could possibly obtain.  “My name is Lord Nibbler, supreme commander of the Nibblonian Fleet.  I have been assigned here to Earth to-"

Leela cut him off with an impatient gesture.   “Yeah Yeah, I know all about you and Fry and the brainspawn, don't give me any of that long-winded dark prophecy crap of yours.  Just tell me what happened after the blast.  Why am I alive?  Did the brainspawn conquer Earth?  Is the universe doomed?”  She paused a moment before adding softly “Is Fry dead?”

"Your body was badly damaged when I found you.  It took all my skill with the robosurgeon," he gestured to the metal cylinder he had dropped moments earlier, "to heal you.  If I had been an hour later in getting to you it would have been too late.  As for your other questions..."    Nibbler didn’t speak for a long time; long enough for Leela to guess the answers.   “I’m sorry Leela," he said sadly, "but I’m afraid that the answer to all of them is yes.”  Leela’s heart nearly ripped itself in half.

“Then I’ve failed.  My parents, Fry, Bender; the whole damned universe was depending on me and I failed.  No, even worse; I caused exactly what I was trying to stop.  I- I killed Fry."  It was a whisper.   "I killed Fry.  Not the brainspawn, me.  Oh god, Fry I’m so sorry!”  The tears came then.  Nibbler watched the scene for a few moments unsure what to do, but when the tears didn’t dry themselves up he walked over and put an arm around his friend’s shoulder.

“Leela, I know you are distressed but the present holds no time for tears.  The brains are still all around us, patrolling for survivors.  Now that I know that my cover is blown there is no need for theatrics on my part to get you to do what must be done.  This will give us a few precious moments to escape.  We must flee, for if they find us here they will destroy us.  I do not know where it came from, but there is a working spaceship in the street nearby; a ship identical to the one that is sitting incapacitated in the hangar.  We can use it to escape but as my mighty arms are not long enough to reach the controls, I require you to fly it.  I know it is much to ask, but please, will you do this?"

Leela pushed Nibbler's arm away.  Her voice came haltingly between sobs.  "I've lost... everything in the... universe that... ever meant anything... to me... twice.  Please...  give me... some time..."

There was no way in the multiverse that Nibbler could argue with that.  He just stood there helplessly and watched his friend and caretaker as she wept.  There was absolutely nothing he could do for her, and he discovered that this fact terrified him like all of the brainspawn in the galaxy could not.  Reaching a decision, the supreme commander of the Nibblonian fleet pushed aside thoughts of the death squads that were surely roaming the city, scuttled over to his human friend, and curled up in her lap.
_____________________________ _____________________________ _____________

No brains accosted the two companions as they sat huddled together through the night.  Somehow their little hideaway had been overlooked.  Nibbler had fallen asleep almost immediately upon planting himself in her lap, but Leela had spent the night wide awake..  When the tears finally stopped Leela had had time to think; to analyze everything and try and come up with something she could have done differently.  So many things had gone wrong; it was like somebody up there was playing a cruel joke.  Leela's own accidental freezing, being shot down on that asteroid, scaring Fry into shooting that barrel, and then to top it off with the loss of the time machine.  It was like some horrible nightmare, or a bad novel written by a moron with a sadistic sense of humor.  "I hope it's the second choice," she said to herself, "at least lousy novels usually end up with the good guys on top...  Unless they don't."

Nibbler began to stir.  Leela stroked the hair behind his eyestalk.  "Are you ready?",  the Nibblonian asked.  The tone of the alien's voice was gentle, not at all impatient.

Leela tried a fake smile but only achieved a grimace.  "Yes I think so.  Thanks for waiting for me."

Nibbler also tried his luck at a fake smile, but it looked even worse on his face than it had on Leela's.  "It was my pleasure to assist The Other."  The Nibblonian walked to an opening between two pieces of jagged plasmetal and stuck his head out.  A moment later he scurried through the gap, turning around just long enough to gesture for his friend to follow.

The cyclops and the tri-clops carefully worked their way through the tangled remains of the Planet Express building's south tower and out into the street.  They were careful to stay in cover as they worked their way to the Planet Express Ship, which was still parked on its haunches in the middle of the road.  The building, the street, and the ship were all eerily deserted. It was almost as if the brains had never been there at all.  The strange silence was enough to make the hair stand up on Leela's neck, but she wasn't going to complain.  A lucky break was a lucky break after all.   

The PE captain did a quick run-through of the ship's systems and then started up the engines.  A minute later three blips appeared on the radar, but they were moving much too slow to interfere.  The Planet Express Ship rocketed skyward while the brains were still miles out of range.
_____________________________ _____________________________ ____________

The stars drifted lazily by.  As had become habit over the years, Leela stared blankly at them until her mind worked itself into a kind of trance.  It was the only way she could give herself a break from the thoughts and emotions that were roiling about inside her.  Usually she put herself in this quasi-stupor to give herself a chance to ignore whatever stupid thing Fry was presently engaged in saying or doing.  This time she was doing it to force herself to forget that he wasn't there.

Something clued Leela in to the fact that Nibbler was speaking to her.  The PE captain fought to hold her hard-won state of oblivion, but it wasn't any good.  She was awake again.

Nibbler seemed to notice the glazed expression on his companion's face.  "I apologize.  Sometimes my race's highly evolved manner of speaking can be hard to follow.  I know that you were trying your best to pay attention.  How much do you need for me to repeat?"

"Stupid condescending rodent," thought the cyclops.  What she said was: "Uhh, better start from the beginning."

"Very well.  I was recounting the gruesome series of events of the last 24 hours.    It all began when the brainspawn, the sworn enemy of my race, appeared suddenly at the fringes of the Earth's solar system.  It was lucky that there happened to be a cargo ship within sensor range at the time or the brains wouldn't have been detected at all."

Leela cut him off.  "I know I know, I've heard the story already.  Didn't I tell you that I've come from the future to stop the attack?"

The Nibblonian stared at her for a few seconds.  "Umm... No, you mentioned nothing of the sort.  This makes several statements you made earlier much more clear..."

Leela gave him a funny look.  "I didn't?” she asked with just a bit of incredulity.  "Wow, I could have sworn that I had.  Oh well...   Yeah, the reason you couldn't find me today was that I got myself frozen in a cryotube over at the place I've been working since I got fired.  I woke up a few days ago, uhh I mean a thousand years from now, to find New New York in ruins, the Earth a barren wasteland; you know, standard apocalypse stuff.  It was really pretty awful."

"But somehow you found a means to return to this time period?"  The Nibblonian made a series of excited babbling noises before continuing: "Please, I know it will be hard on you, but you must describe your ordeal to me.  It is imperative that I hear every word, every minor detail.  Knowledge of the future would be a devastating weapon against the brainspawn; it might even br enough to assure victory in the intergalactic war that is surely to come now that the brains have taken Earth!  Please, you must tell me what happened to you."

"Is it really that important?"  The expression on Nibbler's face amswered for him. 

The PE captain sighed and sat deeper into her chair.  It would be painful to purposely dredge up the events of the past few days and scrutinize them again, but if Nibbler really thought it could be useful... 

"Alright, I... I guess if you really have to hear it now."

  Leela mentally gritted her teeth and dove into the story.  She explained how she had been frozen and then awakened a millennium later to face the decaying ruins of New New York.  Nibbler's head drooped as she described her walk through the desolation of the city.  She passed over the part where she had been chased through the streets by her own fears and skipped to the point where she met future-Nibbler, neglecting to mention the part where she tossed him across the room.  It only took a few more minutes to explain the plan and the way she had managed to fling herself back in time, only to be marooned and then arrive too late to help.  Finally, steeling herself against the tears that she knew would come; she forced herself to explain those last moments in the tower and the loss of the time machine.

"...  And then Fry squeezed the trigger and I was flying through the air, and then everything went dark."  She had to pause for a moment to gather herself together, but she knew that Nibbler had to hear this so she forced herself to continue.  "I woke up once, maybe for 5 minutes.  I was in so much pain that I couldn't think straight.  I tried to make the time device work but... but it fell and disappeared.  Then I passed out again, and when I woke up you were standing over me."  There was something that seemed wrong about that last part.  What was it?

"And you would have soon been dead if I had not happened to come across your body in the ruins while searching for Fry's.  It is lucky that I had had the foresight to retrieve my medical kit from my ship before the brains began their invasion.  Astonishing.  If the universe survives, your tale surely will be entered into the great chronicles of Eternia, where countless generations will hear of your quest and learn of the bravery and will of The Other.  It is a shame then that..."

Nibbler, the ship, and the lazy stars all blurred together into a gauzy silence as Leela let herself zone out again.  This time though it wasn't to avoid thinking.  Something was bothering her, and if the last few days were any clue, it was best to pay attention to the little voice in the back of her head that was quietly but constantly whispering 'does not compute'. 

"What's bothering me?  Damn, this feels important but I have no idea what it is."   The feeling had started when she was talking about what had happened in the tower.  "No," she realized, "it was after that.  Is it something about loosing the time machine?  God, How could I have let that happen?  I let the pain get to me.  If only I'd reached out a little further and gotten a better grip...  No, stop!  There'll be time for hating myself later, I need to figure this out, and whatever it is that's bothering me, it's something besides failing everyone and everything I've ever cared about.  But what is it?"  She thought silently for a minute.  "Nibbler.  It has something to do with Nibbler...  Something that he said in the future, about how she had vanished before the battle and was never seen again..."

"Why you manipulative, conniving, insensitive little bastard!"  Leela crossed the few feet to her pet and grabbed him by the neck.  In one fluid movement the terrified commander of the Nibblonian Fleet was pinned helplessly against the bridge bulkhead.  Leela's other hand gave him a hard slap across the face.

"And to think I took care of you for all the years, spending every last penny on ham and diapers!  This is how you repay me, by making me kill all of my best friends and Zoidberg?!  You used me!"  She gave her captive a violent shake.

"Wait... please, I... don't... understand!"  The Nibblonian's protests came out ragged as he tried to speak through the stranglehold that Leela had on his throat.

"Oh, you may not understand now, but you'll understand later.  And since I can't strangle you for what you're going to do in a thousand years, I'll just have to do it now."

"Please... Leela, I... can't breathe..."

Disgusted, Leela released her captive and let him slide limply to the floor.  Nibbler lay cowering against the bulkhead as an inexplicably furious cyclops stood towering over him.  "What... What did I do?” he managed.

"Oh, it's not what you did; it’s what you're going to do.  When I met you in the future you said that I disappeared right before the attack, 'and was never seen again'.  Except that you see me right now, don't you?!.  You heard me tell you about being ambushed and shot down on that asteroid and then getting to Earth too late to help.  You heard me tell you about what happened to Fry and the others at Planet Express.  That means in the future you knew about all of this, and did nothing."  The words were said with such raw loathing that Nibbler felt each one of them as a blow in the chest.

Leela wasn't done.  "Oh my god, it's even worse than that.  You sent me back to the past knowing exactly what would happen!"  By now Leela was screaming.  "All that crap about time paradoxes that you gave me... that's why you let me go isn't it?  You knew that I killed Fry and Bender and the others, so you sent me back in time to make sure it would happen!  Is that it?  Tell me!" 

Nibbler's mouth worked silently for a time while his confused mind tried to wrap itself around the accusations that were being flung at him.  He started several times to speak but always fell silent again immediately.  After all, what was he to say?  How do you defend your actions when you wont actually do them for a thousand years?   

"I... I do not know what to say."  Not an eloquent or particularly safe answer, but it was the truth.  "You will not believe me if I deny this, but I also do not believe my future self would be guilty of such a heinous act.  What would be to gain from it?  You already know that my people believe Fry's special mind to be the sole remaining hope for the survival of the universe; what possible reason would I have to send you through a series of events that I knew would end in his death?"

Leela stopped angrily pacing the bridge.  Even through her flaming temper she had to admit that she had no answer to that question.

The Nibblonian began to speak faster, sensing that he might be gaining ground.  Now it was his turn to get up and pace the bridge, keeping his nervous body occupied while his brain worked itself into high gear.  "Without Fry there is no hope of fighting the brain's stupefaction rays, which as I am sure you have witnessed, render all sentient beings defenseless against the brainspawn onslaught.  To knowingly bring about his demise would be considered high treason amongst my people, and to use you, the person who has befriended me and cared for me for these past years as the means to carry out such a terrible crime...  It would be more of a burden on my admittedly iron will then I could imagine enduring..."  The Nibblonian stopped his pacing and turned to face his accuser.  "Tell me, did I ever give you cause to question my motives during your time in the future?"

Leela prepared to shoot back a stinging list of examples, but she was surprised to find that she could find none.  She searched harder but still nothing came to mind.  "Alright, so I've got nothing.  But how do you explain this conversation we're having right here, right now?  You don't actually expect me to believe that you forgot that it was sending me back in time that killed the single hope of the universe, do you?"  Her voice dripped venom.

"No, it is not likely that I would forget such an important fact, but perhaps there is another explanation...  What did my future self tell you about time paradoxes?"

The unexpectedness of the question threw Leela off balance.  "Huh?  I mean- Uhh, nothing good.  He mentioned ripping holes in space-time and something like quantum nullification...  I wasn't really paying attention."

 "It has been many years since elementary school quantum mechanics, but I believe that it may be possible for my future self to have sent you back in time without any hidden agenda and yet not make it impossible for my present self to have this conversation with you."

"But that's a paradox.  Your future self said that time paradoxes destroy the universe.  Unless of course he lied about that too."

"No, you are correct.  Two timelines have been created, one where you disappear right before the brainspawn invasion and one where I find you injured in that pile of rubble.  Both timelines cannot exist congruously in a single universe without generating the cosmic blue screen of death...  There can be only one answer..."

"You mean other than the one where you're a traitorous liar?"

Nibbler responded with a patient expression.  Leela stared back at him, but she averted her eye after a few moments.  "Alright", she said-  "I'm sorry.  I'll listen."

"Thank you.  As I was saying, there is a solution to our conundrum.  Time is by definition a very strange, very fluid construct.  We lifeforms tend to think of events in terms of cause and effect, past and future, but that is not in reality how the universe is structured.  Time is more malleable than that.  We have created a paradox yes, but that does not necessarily guarantee the end of all things as long as something happens to undo the damage to the space-time continuum."

"Undo the damage?  What are you talking about?  Everyone's dead!  She gestured to the cylinder that had saved her life hours earlier but which now lay forgotten by the hatch.  "Unless your little screwdriver of healing over there also specializes in patching holes in time."

"No, though it does play 'wheels on the bus' if you press the clown face on the side...  But no, what we need is a time machine."

Leela rolled her eye.  "Yeah great.  All we need is a time machine.  Too bad the only time machine in existence is stuck in the past where only a time machine can reach it."

"Ah, but there is where you are wrong, for you see, the present is the past."

That statement got nothing but a blank stare.

"You said that, according to my future self, the brains developed the time machine in 'the distant past'.  You also said that a legion of attack brains currently occupy the time machine planet, which likely means that the brains have something there that they feel must be protected.  If my future self told you was correct in regards to the ancient nature of the device, and that is quite possible considering he correctly predicted it's existence and precise location..."

Leela was way ahead of him.  "Then the device might be sitting there in that tower where I found it the first time!  Oh my god, I can go back in time again!  I can still fix this!"  Suddenly she was laughing, though a moment earlier she would have thought it impossible.  Vaulting back into the pilot's seat, Leela grabbed the wheel and turned it hard to port.  The Planet Express ship went into a wide turn and then began to accelerate.  A pair of blue sparks lay directly ahead.
_____________________________ ______________________

Thanks Arkan and SpaceCase for the awesome... what, betaing? betage?  Well, whatever the word, thanks for the help!
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #503 on: 06-22-2006 01:50 »

Both timelines cannot exist congruously in a single universe without generating the cosmic blue screen of death...


Oh my god. I laughed so hard. If Jberges ever dies you get to be the new Jberges.
Corvus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #504 on: 06-22-2006 06:28 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
or a bad novel written by a moron with a sadistic sense of humor.

Hmm.. that sounds like it was me writing it.. minus the sense of humor part.
Or was it a swing at yourself??  :p

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:"No, though it does play 'wheels on the bus' if you press the clown face on the side... But no, what we need is a time machine."

Again with the clown references! Me thinks you like the clowns..  :D

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
No, you are correct. Two timelines have been created, one where you disappear right before the brainspawn invasion and one where I find you injured in that pile of rubble. Both timelines cannot exist congruously in a single universe without generating the cosmic blue screen of death... There can be only one answer..."


[cough] Parallel universes [/cough] Can't wait to see you untangle this mess..  :)
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #505 on: 06-22-2006 06:39 »

I plan on doing as little dying as possible; though when I retire feel free to take my spot, assuming that then you must switch to a pure comedy focus. (Blue screen and clown face jokes get major accolades)   

I like time travel craziness, keep that coming.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #506 on: 06-22-2006 09:21 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
Oh my god. I laughed so hard. If Jberges ever dies you get to be the new Jberges.

lol great Venus, now JBERGES is going to start sleeping with a gun under his pillow. 

@Corvus: That was an attempt at an ironic dig at myself.  I guess it didn't work though, cause you're the second person that I know of that didn't get it.  Strange how easy it is to loose the meaning of something when you write it down...

@JBERGES: Me, pure comedy?  I dont think I could do it if I wanted to.  Don't worry, your spot is safe.  You take care of the humor stuff and I'll stick with the drama and the cloying shippiness.  :)
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #507 on: 06-22-2006 09:37 »

That was great Soylent! The blue screen of Death made me fall off my chair! I never saw it coming.

Keep it up. You just helped me start my day. Thanks.
Corvus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #508 on: 06-22-2006 10:11 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
 
@Corvus: That was an attempt at an ironic dig at myself.  I guess it didn't work though, cause you're the second person that I know of that didn't get it.  Strange how easy it is to loose the meaning of something when you write it down...

But but but.. I did get it.
Apparently I failed to convey that I do understand that joke.

Maybe I should start wearing a T-Shirt that says: Yo No Entienda Inglés

Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #509 on: 06-22-2006 13:36 »

Yay! I already read it, 'course, but yay! I would quote my favourite bits, but I think I've been beaten to it. But I still love the 'wheels on the bus' thing... Definitely one of the best things ever written!

Keep it coming!  :D
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #510 on: 06-25-2006 16:23 »

@Nic2001: glad you liked it  :)  I need to start putting disclaimers in my work.  Warning: the auther of this fic is not responsible for head trauma encurred while falling from furniture.

@Corvus: Yes, and maybe I should start wearing a shirt tbat says: Yo no entiendo nada de la lenguage de computadora.  Excuse my horrible spanglish.  I am so bad at figuring out what people are telling to me unless I hear it directly from their mouths...

@Arkan:  Thanks!  Oh, and more is coming. 
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #511 on: 06-25-2006 22:42 »

Aww, Soylent, that's terrible (exuse me for not visiting you more often! It feels good to be back in this thread :love :)! You must've felt awful. I have owned two Betta fish myself, both looked quite similar, but one was evil... Well, more like Leela and always annoyed, only not by Fry, by myself and it was a male. His name suited him well. Stitch. The other one I couldn't get a better name than that of "Pretty" Poor little fellow...They got sick, both of 'em. Maybe because their tanks had to be cleaned often...and both foud their way onto the counter on Pretty made it to the floor one time... Scared me. At least the poor soul never flipped himself into the drain...  :cry: I was so sad. My friend still thinks I killed 'em off.  :nono: Anyways, now that my blubbering and remembering is aside, what an awesome fic!!! You leave me no choice but to........................... ..............
complement you!!!  :D Aside from the typos, perfect. Sheer perfection lies in your writes. Oh, and you might wanna update that little link to my website in yours... Save Our Express Ship has been resurrected!!! WOO!
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #512 on: 06-26-2006 17:23 »

I still have typos?  Could you point some of them out so I can fix em? 

 
Quote
Oh, and you might wanna update that little link to my website in yours

Oh right, I had forgotten that you'd changed it.  *Adds one more thing to to-do list*

Another update'll ne up as soon as Arkan and Spacecase get done looking through it  :) 
Corvus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #513 on: 06-26-2006 17:35 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:

@Corvus: Yes, and maybe I should start wearing a shirt tbat says: Yo no entiendo nada de la lenguage de computadora.


Ahahahahaha.. who does, really?? Btw, I'd buy that t-shirt..  :D

 
Quote
Originally posted by *soylentOrange::
Another update'll ne up as soon as Arkan and Spacecase get done looking through it

Ohhh.. an update soon! To boldly go where no-one-eye mutant have
time-traveled before!?  :p
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #514 on: 06-26-2006 19:43 »
« Last Edit on: 06-26-2006 19:43 »

Uhh, sure, I'll have to re-read it though... and it might take a while.     
Quote
Originally posted by solentOrange:
Chapter 3 Part 3
I found some small repeating word errors...

The torpedo detonated remote detonated
(detonated is used twice)
she suddenly threw the engines into reverse, suddenly stopping the ship in midair
(suddenly is used twice)

Part 2, Ch. 2
and swat the pesty little gnat
(did you mean pesky or pesty? Just checking)

Alright. I cheated and used my unreliable spell check, but I read over some too and saw no errors other than those three things.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #515 on: 07-11-2006 13:35 »

thanks zoidy  :).

also, sorry that the promised update hasnt materialized.  My life got unbelievably hectic all of the sudden. I've barely had spare time to breathe let alone work on my fic...
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #516 on: 07-11-2006 13:44 »

Aww, have some sympathy from Professor Zoidy.  :) Do not worry about updates. Take life first.
ClonedWizard

Crustacean
*
« Reply #517 on: 07-13-2006 12:23 »

Excellent writing, soylentOrange.  I am especially enjoying your latest masterpiece.  Time travel rules!

Some general musings:

"precusel".  You use that word in the update at the top of page 12 of this thread.  What does it mean (or what word is supposed to be there)?  I can't get it from context and Google only shows this thread using that word.

The Earth is moving around the sun.  The sun is moving within a spiral arm of the Milky Way.  The Milky Way is travelling through space as well.  All of these things are moving pretty fast.  If you travel forward or backward through time even 1 second and return to the same spatial location, wouldn't the ground you were standing on have moved?  Unless the time travel device accounts for non-accelerated motion in some way.  Maybe it has something to do with the expansion of the universe... hmmm.  This issue is not commonly brought up in time travel plots, though it applies to many of them.  Please don't think I'm singling you out.  This is just my first post and the story is great and you have the astronomy minor.  I'd just like to "hear" your thoughts on this.

Once again, this is excellent writing.  I hope your life gets less hectic.
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #518 on: 07-13-2006 18:12 »

@ ClonedWizard: HMM.. Have you tried looking it up on dictionary.com? Or perhaps wikipedia.org will give some light to the word?
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #519 on: 07-13-2006 20:37 »

Hmm... Looking at the context, I think maybe it's meant to say 'precise'. It makes sense, anyway.  :)

Welcome to PEEL, ClonedWizard!
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